Sst ask, kinda: you just mentioned that you are sapiosexual. What does this mean for you? When did you begin identifying in this way? Why?
The commonly accepted meaning of sapiosexual as listed in the Urban Dictionary is “One who finds intelligence the most sexually attractive feature”… I’ve seen other online definitions listing it as some minor variation of “a strong attraction to intelligence in others, often regardless of gender and/or conventional attractiveness”.
In my case I’m probably closer to sapio-romantic to be honest, because I can be physically attracted to someone who’s not my idea of intelligent/intellectual, but it’s pretty much impossible for me to have a meaningful or long lasting attraction to or relationship with such a person.
AND the initial physical attraction can immediately fizzle out if the person says or does something that grieviously irks my logical or intellectual sensibilities. (Not just a little irk though, it’d have to something huge.)
Lol. I guess basically I’m attracted more strongly to women I can engage in intellectual discourse with, or whose mind process is on par with mine or so above mine that it wows me.
Also related point: I’m discovering that as I get older the part of me that i’ve labelled sapiosexual gets more dominant. Which makes finding partners trickier…
I’ve always been more attracted to people’s personality over their physical form. Which is probably why if you lined my exes up they’d look like an old school Colors Of Benneton advertisement, or a Women’s Diversity poster. Various races and many multi-racial women, older and younger than me when we were involved, petite, plus sized, amazon (as in taller than me), from various different social and economic backgrounds than my own, and from various countries other than my own… The only common thread being that their individual minds turned me on (in almost every case).
I didn’t realise that this was unusual until probably my late twenties or early thirties when my “friends” at the time (now ex friends) made fun of my choices in partners, laughing saying things like “you like/date HER? But she’s so (dark skinned, light skinned, ugly, short, big/fat, ghetto, etc)
Thanks so much for the question @tsaphanbabe! Hope that’s not the last one. 😉