Alright, here’s another TSITP film studies essay for those of you, like me, who are desperately trying to discover new things about this show that we already know everything about. This one is regarding Conrad’s introduction into 3x04, “Last Stand,” because I just really respect how it was done.
I’ve mentioned some of the TSITP directors in previous posts, but I’m going to start talking about them a lot more because I’m thinking more and more all the time about what makes good romance direction. So, I’ll start this essay by noting that episodes 3x03 and 3x04 were directed by Catalina Aguilar Mastretta, who I greatly admire because she did some very clever things with both of her episodes. I will attempt to keep this essay focused merely on the scene in which Belly and Conrad see each other for the first time since everyone left the restaurant in 3x03, because there is enough to say just about this one little moment. It’s very impressive. Directing is hard, folks. It is difficult to execute a vision, but Catalina and her team did exactly what needed to be done in order to accomplish exactly what they wanted to accomplish for this moment.
We don’t see Conrad at all for the first 27 minutes of the episode, which is particularly notable considering three things: 1. He is beloved by the audience. 2. It is literally the longest period of time we go without seeing him in an episode. 3. The prior episode ended on the incredible shot of him standing alone outside the restaurant. So, throughout the first half of “Last Stand,” we keep asking, ‘where the hell is he??’ But a lot of other stuff is happening, like the drama between Belly and Laurel, which is so intense that we’re also forgetting to ask where Conrad is. And that’s where we’re at right when he finally shows up.
Belly is barely out of sleep when she seems him. And when we see him, it is with her eyes. This is very special. We don’t often see things from a character’s direct perspective like this. It adds a level of intimacy that brings us further into the scene. Jenny Han really likes to play with this kind of filmmaking, which is part of the reason why “Last Dance” looks and feels so different from everything else. Most of the time, in any movie or show, the camera acts as an invisible third party observer. To have the camera function in place of one of the characters in the scene is bold because it can be difficult to pull off. Too much of it would have you straying into experimentalism and could make your audience feel uncomfortable, especially if they’re not expecting it. For the record, I obviously think Catalina and Jenny both pull it off.
So, when Belly sees Conrad, he’s blurred at first because she’s waking up in that moment. He’s also noticeably far from the camera because he’s on the far side of the other room. I mean, it’s not weird for him to be far from the camera- literally, the last time we saw him was a wide shot (or extreme long shot) of him outside the restaurant- but in this scene, he is expressing things with his face that we want to have a better look at. If the camera was third party observing, we’d be much closer to his face. But as it is, we can’t see him as clearly as we’d like to because he happens to be the distance that he is from Belly.
When I first saw this, I had no idea what was happening and I certainly hadn’t processed everything I just said. So, I was legitimately wondering “is this real?” And that’s exactly what they wanted me to be asking, because that’s exactly what Belly is asking herself.
If they had shown us Conrad earlier in the episode, or if this introduction wasn’t shot from Belly’s direct perspective, it would not have had the same effect. If we already knew he was there, we wouldn’t have felt her confusion, disbelief, and yearning. The moment wouldn’t have felt as heart-stopping. Catalina took a big swing with the setup of this moment and it completely paid off.
And I haven’t even gotten into the Christmas flashback yet!
I think they show us the Christmas flashback here to indicate that this heart-stopping feeling is the same as what Belly felt when she saw Conrad at Christmas.
That’s not the only reason they inserted the Christmas flashback though. After the finale came out, I wrote a thing about the blocking in the finale birthday party scenes. They spliced the shots with some shots from season 1, not just to draw the parallel between the context of the scenes, but also to show us that Belly and Conrad switched places. They used the positioning of the characters in the shots to show us who was emulating who.
They did the same thing in this scene in “Last Stand.”
They could have not incorporated this flashback. They could have had him say “Belly” again instead of having her say “Conrad.” But again, it would not have had the same effect. We are meant to be seeing this as another moment where they are switching places because that is what Belly and Conrad are constantly doing throughout the show. Sometimes he shows up at her doorstep, sometimes she shows up at his. Sometimes he’s rejecting her, sometimes she’s rejecting him. Sometimes he almost crosses the line with her (peaches), sometimes she almost crosses the line with him (surfing wound). They are on the same journey, revolving around each other as they move through space, and when they cross paths, it’s like an eclipse. Or, to use another more relevant metaphor, they’re traveling around the curves of an infinite loop ♾️ and, oftentimes, they’re on opposite sides of the loop at the same time, mirroring each other.
And there’s more to be noted about the parallels to “Last Christmas.” Have you noticed what they do with sound? In between the scored and soundtracked moments?
In one of these rooms (my guess is the one with the fireplace), there’s a clock that ticks. We don’t hear it all the time because you can only hear it in certain rooms, in quiet scenes. I haven’t watched through the entire show with the specific goal of listening for this sound, but I’m pretty sure that it’s most noticeable in the “Last Christmas” flashback sequence and in this scene in “Last Stand.” I think that’s intentional because this sound fosters feelings of peace, tranquility, and stability. At this point in the story, Belly doesn’t know that Conrad embodies those things. In fact, she thinks he’s the opposite of peaceful and safe. So, the setting is telling us the thing that Belly can’t consciously reconcile: Conrad has changed, and she loves him again. He has rediscovered in himself the strong, steady presence that Belly grew up loving. And, yes, Belly and Conrad feel most electric with each other, but they feel most at peace with each other too.
And another great thing about incorporating the Christmas flashback is the fate/coincidence aspect of both scenes. In 3x07, Belly says, “When I was little, I used to think Conrad would appear out of thin air when I was thinking about him. I didn’t know if it was fate or coincidence. I just knew he was always there when I needed him.” During Christmas, Belly was lonely and needed company, and then Conrad showed up. After Belly’s fight with Laurel, she was really sad and needed support, and then Conrad showed up. Oftentimes, Conrad shows up for Belly intentionally, but these two times, he didn’t know he was showing up for her right when she needed him, so it really was either coincidence or fate.
Personally, when it comes to these two, I don’t believe in coincidence.
Take, for example, the fact that, in the first episode of this season, Conrad describes his realization of loving Belly as waking up. In this scene, Belly wakes up to Conrad. There is no doubt in my mind that we are meant to recall Conrad’s metaphor here.
Ultimately, what I think they’re trying to convey with this scene is that every time Belly and Conrad see each other, there’s a shock of awareness. For a moment, no one else exists. And how can they? Belly and Conrad both memorize every interaction they ever have, so every time they see each other, their entire shared history fills the room. Their history and their love. They are a prime example “fall in love again and again.” It’s the infinite loop they’re on. All roads lead back to each other.
How could I ever be expected to move on from something so romantic? I can’t. I could not possibly.
Props to Catalina Aguilar Mastretta and her team. They deserve as much recognition as the actors. It’s the details that these people (and their counterparts in the other episodes) thoughtfully layer every scene with that make our viewing experience so special.
P.S. The three seconds where Conrad walks toward Belly, through the sunlight, totally entranced- FUCK ME UP. God, Jeremiah ruins everything.
