1 of 2. I'd like to offer a bit of constructive criticism, if I may. The way you set up the story for Bela to foil the reader was great. But it was easy. It almost felt like it HAD to be Bela; she was the only one with an established motive. I feel this was a larger plot device in your last couple chapters. As such, perhaps consider using a secondary motive or red herring to REALLY keep your readers on the edge? Mysteries like those are a bit more compelling. Continues next ask->
This being said, that might not be what you were going for. I’m a forensic scientist by day, so mysteries are a daily thing for me. Which makes me biased in a certain way. The cameras being blanked and the point of the server room was a really great unexpected twist. A+. Again, this is my biased constructive criticism, and I In no way wish to offend you or make you feel negatively about this chapter. I loved the final product, and will continue to shout your praises with every piece you share.♡
Firstly, I’d like to thank you for trusting me enough to be honest about what you think the series/ story is lacking. I really appreciate that, because without it, I’d never grow and become better!
That being said, you’re not wrong. Really. I see what you mean, and you’re absolutely right in coming to that conclusion. I’ll take a note of that :)
There’s still more chapters left though. Maybe there are still a couple tricks up my sleeve ;)
Again, thank you so much for your critique :) It means a lot and I’ll keep that in mind for future reference :)
Love you <3
Tic Tac Toe