We could have had it all (Five x reader)
Summary: you waited for five for 13 years, now he is finally back (Hargreeves!Reader insert, 1x01 rewrite)
Disclaimer Notes:
-season 4 made me cry so bad i had to put down the reader insert i had in mind since 2019. yes before laila's powers were revealed
-victor is refererred as vanya because this is set in season 1 and pre season 1
-In this five is in a 17 years old body or would be weird
-As much as s4 weirded me out five saying 'love' stirred something in me
Sorry for the grammatical errors. I’m new at writing so feedback is appreciated. Thank you for reading. do not translate or appropriate my work
Comments and kudos are highly appreciated :)
words: 4700
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2007, the umbrella academy headquarters
You were hiding in five’s room like most nights. You were lying in his bed, hands intertwined as you made plans for the future
You had made a pact, when you both would turn 18 in 142 days you two would leave together, leaving the umbrella academy and the man you called father even if he wasn’t fatherly at all
‘142 days y/n, and then we are free’ five told you smiling facing you inches apart
You smiled back as you pecked his lips, he smiled through the kiss ‘Where do you want to go? New York, Rio, Paris?’ He asked you, his thumb caressing your cheek
‘Rio sounds nice, beaches, underage alchohol’ you wisper back at him. You two had to be quiet, your relationship secret to your father even if most of your siblings knew
‘As if that was a problem, i know you use your shape shifting abilities to go buy Klaus alcohol’ he tells you rolling his eyes. It was true, you used your shape shifting abilities to appear older and buy Klaus alchohol so he did not have to steal. You knew he needed it to not see the ghosts, and although it wasn’t right to endorse his dependency you knew he had no choice. Klaus was your favorite , after five of course, and also your best friend, and you really thought you were helping him by helping him being high prevented him from being persecuted by ghosts.
you giggle as you kiss him, you absorb his powers, as it happens every time you touch one of the umbrella academy members, and de-maratelize yourself, appearing a moment later in front of the bed with a bottle of wine
‘Not complaining now uhm?’ You tell him, five shakes his head as he brings you towards himself by pulling you from the hoops of you jeans
‘Of you? Never’ He replies, you kiss him again as you push him back on the bed, bottle forgotten on the nightstand
2019
Reginald was dead, Pogo had found him. You could not say you were saddened by his departure, what worried you was the inevitable return of your siblings, especially of luther the last remaining one at the academy with you. You and luther never got along, you knew deep down he envied what you and five had, as he and allison never had the courage to act on similar feelings. He hated you also for refusing to collaborate with dad, focusing only on finding five. Thankfully in the last years he had been on the moon leaving only you in the mansion with grace, pogo, and Reginald.
You were in your room getting ready to pick up klaus from rehab before the others inevitably arrived, when you heard a knock on your window
'hellooo sis!' you heard as you saw a klaus clearly high knocking at your window, you tried not to smile at your favorite brother
'klaus! I was supposed to pick you up remember ?’ you told him as you opened the window and he climbed in
'I guessed It was a busy day and thought to get out sooner! We are orphans!' he squeeled as you tried not to laugh as he hugged you
'try to look more sad with luther or we will never hear the end of it' you replied 'where is ben?' you asked him, you had touched klaus, thus absorbed his powers but you could not see your shared dead brother,
'around, he will appear sooner of later' klaus said as he opened your wardrobe to search for a new outfit
'do not still from my room or - ' you told him as he waved at you leavign your room 'yes yes not your room or five's I know!' He told you leaving to find something to steal, you just shook your head
You fell back on your bed turning to look at the last photo of you and five, it was a polaroid taken while you and him were laughing on the floor of his room, you sighed as you heard more of your siblings come in
‘Let the show begin’ you thought as you got up
-.-.-.
Vanya entered the house, looking around, ‘y/n?’ She asked but instead found allison and Diego. After ackwards greetings she roamed the library where she encountered Pogo and stopped in front of five’s portrait, as they talked about her book and five Vanya asked Pogo ‘how long has it been?’
‘13 years, five months and 14 days’ you say behind her as you lean on the library, arms crossed as you Avoid looking at your long-lost boyfriend portrait
‘Y/n’ she greets you as you two hug
‘Vanya’ you reply ‘long time no see’ you add.
You two called sometimes but she had distances herself from the family, and after her autobiography even more. You were the only one she was in contact with
‘How have you been? The show coming up nicely?’ You ask her
‘I think so, I can get you a ticket if you want’ she asks almost shily
‘Sure let’s talk about it another day’ you reply as her smiles fades as she nods politely, fidgeting with her book, you eyes falls on it
‘Did they already give you shit about it?’ You ask referencing to Diego and luther
‘Yah..’ she replies voice low
‘Well i liked it.’ You reply sincerely
‘I think you were the only one.’
‘Someone had to spill those secrets vanya. Also you portrayed me and five as doomed lovers, and not as a crazy woman who can’t let go the boy she loved half a lifetime ago. So i quite appreciated it, people even sends me leads on him, none worked of course’ you reply again with a laugh that does not sound joyful, vanya gives you a weak smile as she turns towards five’s portrait
‘Do you remember, i used to make those sandwiches and leaving the lights on. I was afraid he would come back and by not finding us he would leave again’. She says with a fond smile. As klaus was your favorite, vanya was five’s, you two didn’t give her a hard time for her luck of powers, differently from allison and luther
‘You just summarized the last 13 years of my life’ you replied with a dark laugh that didn’t reach you eyes
After five had disappeared you spend years looking for him, or to find a way to time travel to go search for him. You had searched all the other remaining people born with superpowers to see if someone had a power you could absorb to help your researches but none had the same abilities
Klaus, ben and Vanya had helped you initially, because they were close to you. Allison and Luther had been useless and Diego had stopped soon.
Vanya left as soon of age, the same did Diego, you could not blame them, that had been your plan too. After Ben’s death the following year also allison and klaus left, even if he would come back often as spent all the money he could find on drugs , you and luther remained, he was the only one loyal to Reginald. You stayed waiting for five.
‘I’m sorry’ she replies eyes low
‘Of what? Getting out of this shithole? You did what i could not do alone vanya. Never apologize for leaving behind this place’ you tell her squeezing her shoulder
‘Come we have a so-called father to bury’ you add with you head pointing at the courtyard but before you could go there a storm appeared outisde
2007
As the bell rang, as at every mealtime you and the others walked into the dining room, once Reginald walked in and gave you permission, you all set down to eat. You sat as always between Five and Klaus, while Vanya set next to Five. Klaus rolled a joint behind him, while Luther and Allison exchanged flirtatius looks, but you could only watch five that was looking at Reginald with angry eyes. You took his hand under the table to try reassure and appease him and he sqeezed it, but the calm was short as he then stabbed the table with his knife as you all turned to look at him.
"Number Five?" Reginald acknowledged him. Five let the knife go and clenched his jaw.
"I have a question." He stated
"Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rules. No talking during mealtime. You are interrupting Herr Carlson." He referred to the voice coming from the record player. Five pushed his plate away to state that he was not eating, turning back to his father.
You had tried to dissuase him many times, he had got fixated on time traveling something that scared you and that reginals did not approve, but five didn’t listen
'five' you whispered as he sqeezed your hand reasuringly before speaking again despite your wishes
"I want to time travel." he stated
"No." reginald replied
"But I'm ready," He stood from his chair. "I've been practicing my spatial jumps, just like you said." he said jumping next to their father
"A spatial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel. One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn."
"Well, I don't get it." five admited, the air tense
"Hence the reason you're not ready." Reginald set down his glass while Five glanced over at you and then Vanya, both were shaking your heads as you looked at him with pleading eyes asking him to stop. He turned his gaze away from you as he replied "I'm not afraid."
"Fear isn't the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even your mind, are far too unpredictable, Now I forbid you to talk about this anymore."
Five clenched his jaw as he looked at you before storming out
"Number Five!" Reginald called after him as you pushed your chair away from the table and ran after him
"Five! Where are you going? " you shouted worried
"Number Five, Number Eight, you haven't been excused! Come back here!" your father shouted but you did not care, you ran after your boyfriend
'five wait for me!' you shouted as you both left the gate of the school before he slowed down waiting for you to reach him. you grabbed his arm
'where are you going?' you ask him worried
'we are leaving now' he replied serious 'what?' you asked looking at him in confusion
'we go now. I can travel in time I know it, we could go everywhere, even to the Freddy Mercury’s concert you wanted so badly to see' he explains takng your hands,as his anger is replaced by hope
'five…' you tell him worried, this was not the plan
'please, I need to do this love' he tells you almost pleading. You look at him in the eyes, this could be the stupidiest or the craziest idea he ever had, but you would follow him
'ok' you reply, he lets out a breath of relief he did not know he was holding
He grabs your face and kisses you, you smile as you devour each others before you both separate for air
‘Let me try first. I will be back in a few minutes and then we leave’ he tells you
'no we do it together' you tell him as hold on his jacket
'no I first need to try to see the effects then we go' he tells you
'five…' you try to persuade him
'I'll be back in a minute' he tells you before kissing you again and jumping in time. There was snow where he arrived, signaling a jump foward in time
"Not ready, my ass" he laughed clearly pleased with himself 'ok another time just to be sure' he said as he jumped forward, this time though the entrire surroundings were in shambles, evey thing was broken or on fire. his face fell as fear creeped in
'y/n' he muttered in fear as he ran back to the academy that was in shumbles
' y/n!' he shouted then 'vanya ! dad !' his panic grew as He tried to go back in time, his powers appearing but with no results
'come on! Come on!' he begged trying to jump but he was stucked
He falls on his knees looking at what once called home now on fire 'I'm sorry y/n' he muttered tears pooling at his eyes, as he raised his eyes again he saw his biggest fear came to life. He saw you among the debris.
'no' he murmured as he got up and ran to the scene. You were older than this morning when he left you but he would reconise you anywhere, and you were dead
‘Y/n, no, wake up wake up! please’ He shouts shaking your body to try to wake up, but you don't move an inch, your body lifeless. he cradles your head in his laps as a sob escape him 'please love' he tries again as he cries against your forehead. After what were probably hours his gaze falls on what you are holding a newspaper with the date
1st of april 2019, the day that you die, the day the world ends
-.-.-.
You waited there on the side walk for five as minutes passed. You were smiling not only the day you had waited for years had arrived but also you were going to timetravel.
But as minutes passed your good mood started to fade as he had not come back yet. Minutes turned into hours, you looked around confused to not see him come back. As time passed fear creeped in you. He would have not left you, meaing much worse things had to had happened.
As night fell you ran back to the academy in tears shouting for klaus and vanya.
You all looked for him but Five had disappeared, along with your future
2019
You all rushed outside as you witnessed a blue sphere of energy appearing in the garden
'What is that?' Diego asked
'is a time tunnel or a black hole' you replied as hope creeped into you. As you had studied timetravel to find five you had become a little expert
You heard a shout and suddenly five, looking exactly as he was the day he disappeared appeared falling in the garden 'fuck' he said looking at himself in his 17 years old body. He raised his eyes finding his siblings in front of him as his gaze finally fell on you
'y/n?' he asked His mission to save the world momentary forgotten as the moment he had waited for 45 years had finally arrived, his eyes were longing a much as yours, as the siblings were in shock, you pushed luther away to reach five
You stood in front of him taking in the sight of him
‘Five?’ You asked reaching for his face ‘Is it really you?’ You asked, he held you hand that you had placed on his face as he nodded
‘It's me love’ he replied, the first time you were hearing his voice in 13 years, tears pulled in your eyes as you grabbed him and hugged him tight, a happy and tense laugh leaving you as he hugged you back, his face in your hair to take in the familiar scent of your shampoo that he had dreamed of for all those years
He let you go to take a look at you and as he reached foward to finally kiss you, you slapped him hard across his face
He let you go stumbling back due to the impact, his hand resting on his cheek that you had just slapped as he looked at you in confusion, but he can’t blame you, in the end he ruined both of your lives
‘This was for the last 13 years’ you replied as you stormed inside the academy
It wasn’t the reaction the other expected. For someone who had waited for 13 years for this day to come you looked silent and angry, the siblings, including five all walked in as he made his way to the underground kitchen
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‘Nothing changed ‘ five says looking arounf the kitchen as he starts to make his peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich, all the Hargreaves are looking at him expecting an explanation. You are seated arm crossed next to him as you can’t tear your eyes away but can’t either speak, too many emotions happening at the same time. Longing, rage, confusion, happiness
"So are we gonna talk about what just happened?" Luther finally speaks
‘I was waiting for you all to leave expect y/n in fact’ five replies continuing to make his sandwich
"It's been 13 years." Luther replies 'we want to know too what happened'
"It's been a lot longer than that." Five replies as he blinks on the kitchen counter to take more marshamallows before blinking back at the table
‘I did not miss that’ luther says in annoyance as you internally think ‘hell i missed that a lot’
"Where've you been? All this time" Diego asked jumping in.
"The future. It's shit, by the way." Five answered. ‘Of course’ you though, ‘that is were i looked for the last 13 years’
"How did you get back?" Vanya questioned. Without looking up from you, Five answered,
"In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time."
"That makes no sense." Diego said at the same time you said ‘well that makes sense’
"Well, it would if you were smarter." Five replied before smirking at you, you smirked back, you missed making fun of the Hargreeves without him
"How long were you there?" Vanya asked
"Forty-five years... Give or take." He replied with a hint of sadnesses, he kept on looking at you studying all your reactions. Although you were silent and he answered his siblings it was as if you two were having a private conversation. You eyes fell as guilt creeped into you, all your anger vanished as you realized that 13 years in the comfort of your home were nothing compared to what five had experienced alone in the future. You instinctively reached foward and placed your hand on his arm, he gave you a weak appreciate smile before luther interrupted the moment
"You're saying you're 62?" He asked, the question you all had
"No, My consciousness is 62. Apparently, my body is now 17 again." He finally took a bite of his sandwich annoyed by his siblings not understanding what was so clear to you and him.
Vanya asked "How does that even work?"
"Delores kept saying the equations were off... bet she's laughing now." He said as it was nothing, you tried to not let jealously creep into you at the name of another woman
"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Allison asked
"What else is there to say?’ Five asked almost mockingly 'Now if you don’t mind , me and y/n have to talk' he said as he took your arm and bipped you both in his room.
Gosh if you missed the sensation of space traveling. You close your eyes enjoying the feeling before opening them again
Five's old room is exactly as he left it, but still clean as you asked it to be left always in order ready to welcome five back. it does not look abandoned , it looks like the day he screwed everything up. Five looks around before sitting on his bed, automatically you do the same, it's almost second nature. You two sit there in silence as you gaze your fingertips on his cheek that you had slapped. He places his hand on top of yours holding it there giving you a longing smile
‘I should have not slapped you’ you finally speak
‘It’s okay, I understand your rage, believe me i lived with it for 45 years’ he replies his thumb caressing your hand ‘I missed you so much, you have no idea’ he ads
‘Believe me i do’ you reply mixed emotions rising again, your hand falls from his face, as you look around the room, his hand reaches yours as you intertwine it with his. You close your eyes, your emotions all bursting out as you start to cry, he engulfed you in his arms as you cried to his chest, he tries suiting you as a single tear threatened to fall from his eyes too. You two in you hug fall back in his bed, You enjoy the sensation you had missed for 13 years, of being in his arms in this room. You finally stop crying but neither of you dont move of a inch, enjoying to be in each others arms, your head on his jackets as his arms are around you
‘Thank you’ he tells you finally
‘For what’ you ask wiping your tears with the back of your hand as you look up at him from his chest
‘For looking for me. It was useless but i appreciated it. Even if i wish you didn’t waste your life on me’ he answers looking at you
‘How -?’ You ask standing up from your spot now sitting on the bed as he too straightens up
‘Vanya’s book, i read it a million times, to feel close to you’ he explains ‘you never gave up on me, you changed your plans for me, that is why your reaction at my return should not be surprising’
‘So you realize that it was all your fault?all just To try prove yourself to dad? That you abandon me ?’ You reply anger rising as you stand up finally speaking what had plagued you for 13 years ‘I loved you but as year passed that love became anger, I hated you for a long time. For leaving me, for shattering our future, my future. I stayed here right were you left me, never giving up on you even if you were just a memory, hating myself for not being able to let you go, for staying in the same place i had vowed to leave. All for the hope of your return. We could have had it all , but we didn’t because of you’
‘Do you think it was easy for me?’ He replies anger rising in him too ‘i lived on insects to survive, we adapted and we survived for four decades, you always told me snacks never expire, well that was bullshit i tell you. I survived and fought for half a lifetime to be here now.’ he says standing up too
‘We?’ You ask stopping in your tracks, you cant help yourself
‘Me and dolores’ he admits
You tried not to feel a sting of jealousy, but how could you blame him? 45 years were a long time
‘At least you were not alone’ you mean to say it as something positive but it comes out as sarcastic
'don't you think I did not try evetyhtign to come back to you? ’ He asks you in ager, but is an anger full of sorrow
Your anger was replaced with sadness as his pain
’I tried everyday to find you.’ Is your only reply, anger now disappeared
‘I tried everyday to come back to you’ he replies weakly too extending his hand towards you, you take it. The past is the past , the anger now faded left with only hope for the future
‘You are here that is all that matters’ you reply voice laced with love he smiles as he places his hands on your hips
'I need to tell you so many things’ he tells you his longing tone matching yours
‘ i want to know eveything’ you reply your eyes almost begging to feel close to him. He leans towards you and you finally kiss pouring in all your build up emotions. You shifted your form back to when you were 17
He opened his eyes smiling
'what?’ You ask him ‘This way we look the same age. I dont want it to be weird’ you state as he shakes his head
‘So were do we start?’ You ask not letting him go
'I need a cofee First' he replies and you laugh
'I'm coming with you, you are not leaving my sight again' you tell him pointing a finger to his chest
'I don’t plan on doing it ever again love, this time we stick together' he replies before pecking your lips again and jumping in space to his closet, he puts on one of the uniforms as you try not to laugh at the sight, he gives you side eyes
'our usual place?’ You ask him leaning on the door while he changes
He nods, once he is ready you jump to the parking lot taking your car as you drive to the diner, your hands still intertwined
-.-.-.-.
You entered the diner, where you had spent much of your childhood, you had not gone back in years., without five it wasn't the same.
Five pulls a chair for you as you sit down and he follows next to you
‘What can I bring you kids?’ The lady asks as you try not to laugh at the 'kids' part
‘Coffee please’ you reply looking at five
The lady brings the coffee as you give her the dollars
’you two are such a cute couple, is nice to see young people still believing in love’ she adds all lovely dovely before going back to the kitchen
‘She is right you are cute, old man’ you tease him as he smiles at you, your laugh had always been contagious for him, but before he can reply Suddenly armed men arrived inside the diner, you grew tense at the sight
‘Five’ you whispered in alert but he seemed very calm
‘Don’t worry, they are idiots’ he replies calmly as you instead grow tense as they surround you
‘Come with us, she want to talk to you’ the man commands, five just sips his coffee
‘don’t be difficult. We dont want to kill two kids. Going home with that on our conscience’ the man adds as you take the knife on the table trying to dont get noticed, knowing that a fight is about to happen
‘Don’t worry you are not going home’ five replies before stabbing one of the attacker, you follow him in the fight, as always working as a well oiled machine
‘Who are these people!’ You shout at him as You jump and shapeshift into one of them stealing their guns as you and five kills every attacker
‘I’ll explain later!’ He shouts back at you before directing his attention towards them ‘hey dickheads’ he shouts at them before strangling one with his tie as bullets flew everywhere
Once you are done and the attackers are gone, five takes a knife and plunge it in his arm as your eyes widen in horror as he removes something you reocnise as a locator , he drops it as it was nothing before taking your hand and jumping you both outside the diner
‘What is going on? who were those people ? what do they want from you?’ You had so many questions, this was totally not the reunion you expected
‘I will explain eveything as i promised but you need to know the most important thing, The word is ending in 8 days y/n and only we can stop it’ he says with urgency, you stop in your track
‘What?’ You asked in shock, when he said he was in the apocalypse you thought centuries away not eight days
‘The apocalypse were i ended up, i saw you dead, all of you were dead, and you were holding a newspaper, the day said april 1st 2019, that is in 8 days’ he explained holding your arms as you tried to take the info in
‘How-?’’
‘We can stop it but you have to trust me’ he says before you can ask further questions he squeeses your arm ‘please I don’t want to loose you again’ he ads his tone changing from urgency to almost a plea
’You wont’ you reply with conviction, he nods at you as he pecks your lips again, you kiss him back with the same urgency
‘I’ll tell you eveything’ he says again as he lets you go before taking your hand an jumping away as blue light emanates from both of you as you two disappear into the night
Timeline 1: We could have had it all
Five Hargreaves in ‘Other characters master list’
© Starkleila 2024
