#tumbeasts

[morphmaker]

won't someone think of the tumbeasts

[analytik2]

miss them

[notactuallyherenotreally]

we used to have tumbeasts. we used to be a real country

[jess-total-mess]

I went digging through youtube, old posts, and shitty websites, along with my memories, and here you go! Hopefully these are accurate.

2013 — Unoffical Tumblr event “Mishapocalypse” happened, an online flash mob event wherein which Tumblrinas change their profile pictures to a specific picture of Misha Collins of Supernatural fame.

2014 — Users were given the option to get Tumblr Pro for free, and those who accepted were given top hats on their icons. Prompty after this, @staff announced that “Everyone with a top hat is now marked for account deletion. This is the only way we could destroy this horrible website. Happy April Fools day.”

2015 — The “Executive Suite 2016 Productivity Edition” essentially changed Tumblr into office software, allowing spreadsheets for memes, calculators that gave incorrect answers, and Coppy. Who gave “helpful tips”.

2016 — Tumblr voted to select the “new lizard king”, from Rick, Debrah, Mop and Wretched Tooth. However, more famously, an edited @staff post reads “for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits”.

2017 — The Tumblr Horse Game was a feature that, when clicked, took users to a game wherein you had to collect shit from a pixelated horse. If you failed to do so, the horse died.

2018 — The answer to Bitcoin, is Tumblcoin! A parody of crytocurency.

2019 — Tumblr Memories, in which Tumbeasts were set loose. Remember them? The mascot from 2011, for service interruption announcements.

2020 — There was seemingly no prank this year. This was COVID-19.

2021 — Tumblr released “non-fungible tumblcryptids”, a parody of NFTs. There was a supposedly limited amount of them.

2022 — A light switch, when activated, would open up a variety of colourful things on the desktop dashboard, including a “Summon Crab!” button, which would summon a crab when activated. Other buttons made different sounds.

2023 — A feature similar to the Discord reaction function was temporarily added, using basic emojis.

2024 — Every user was given the option to opt-in to the boop o meter, and could boop, super boop, and evil boop other users who also opted in, earning up to three badges by doing so.

[kaiyves-backup]

[sylvyspritii]

Remember Tumblr physical merch?

Remember the Tumblr merch shop? As in like, the official one for physical stuff?

Brick Whartley’s Crab Emporium

Back in the day, they sold some really interesting stuff Before the Matt, transphobic moderation, and many other Tumblr contoversies surfaced, i bought some of it, and to be honest, i look back on it fondly, some of it was genuinely fun and nostalgic, here's some of the stuff i have;

My favourite one is this diary, i still write in it occassionally when i have happy memories i wanna jolt down (some of the happiest moments in my life are recorded here!)

It even came with these cute little stickers too Yeah, it even had one of the Tumbeasts

Of course, because i actually used the stickers, the "rare collectible" nature of the "official Tumblr sticker paper" i have has decreased, but i don't care about that, look how cute my crab looks on my SD-90

Remember Coppy? The official Tumblr April Fools Microsoft Clippy parody marketable mascot from 2015, of course you remember Well, they sold actual figurines of him too, so Coppy can continue to malfunction (/affectionate) in our homes

They even sold official Tumblr shoelaces, which i missed my chance on unfortunately (imagine how much psychic damage you can inflict with those)

But yeah, let's keep it real for a second; Tumblr staff, if you're reading this, there's many millenials in their 30's with spare income that want to support your bussiness (if it was good), but just not in the state it's currently in, the trust of the userbase has been broken time and time again, and people aren't gonna spend any money on a bussiness they don't trust, and that's a shame for both of us, because we want a functional website that we can perhaps even be proud enough of to rep with merch, but that's just not the case at the moment, so all we have is this nostalgia for when you used to be better

[emporium]

Tumbeast PVC Pin • $5.00

Since looking at people’s feet all the time to see if you like their shoelaces is weird, we created this pin that you can put on your backpack or sweatshirt to that let people know you’re one of us.

1.57″ tall

Made from soft PVC

Two Metal Clutches

About the Artist

The Tumbeasts were created by the fantastic artist Matthew Inman (The Oatmeal).

[5tark1tty]

ok srsly how does the tumbeast blog work ;-; like is there js smthing they do to make a random tag show in a spesific spot?? huh?? /gen