#turtle poems

[lesbianturtle]

i will never forget the freezing chill that

twists and aches and trembles.

for this unforgiving ice is mine,

and alone it shall remain.

do you remember when the sun basked us in

warmth and love and passion?

i guess it never truly left us,

but i can’t remember how it felt.

i am forever cold so i’ll wear a blanket,

but does it matter if i can’t feel it?

[lesbianturtle]

i cannot fit inside my house

the walls creak in discomfort.

the doors fell off the hinges.

the ceiling threatens to choke.

the sofa legs are lost.

look at the decaying form from the sidewalk.

my arms wrap around white fences.

was i always so desperate for familiarity?

what a lie; i already know the truth.

there’s no need to hide myself anymore.

i long to see a perfect picture frame.

i continue to hide.

is this still my home?

it has to be.

i want to burn it all down,

but where will i live?

[lesbianturtle]

Grave Flowers

I remember when they put me in my grave.

I cried and begged them not to bury me,

But you smiled; a smile lined with ivy.

I wouldn’t say I felt safe when I saw you.

I felt assured.

And when your hand touched my freezing cheek,

I stopped all struggle and sunk into my coffin.

I remember when they began to bury me.

My lungs threatened to constrict and collapse,

But you climbed in; a dive full of grace.

I wouldn’t say I sobbed when you joined me.

I whimpered.

And when my eyes met your rose colored face,

I could not bring myself to kiss your petals and thorns.

[lesbianturtle]

desperate

my hands are covered in rose thorns,

threatening to pierce through your palms.

yet you still cling on, desperate.

my nightly prayers to Dios have turned to

poisonous and hellish chants for you.

yet you still cling on, desperate.

why? why me? why you?

i have the power to end this.

yet i still cling on, desperate.

i cry into night, begging for forgiveness.

i don’t think i should ever be forgiven.

yet i still cling on, desperate.

we won’t meet until the tea is done.

while we wait, hold onto our mantra tight.

“someday, together, we’ll shine.”

this time, we won’t cling on so desperately.

[lesbianturtle]

i want to throw up candy corn

but that will make you care even more.

before you see that horrid orange stain

your eyes will ask “are you okay, jane?”

i want to be your courage

but i’m afraid you’ve misjudged.

i’m scared of your hands and nose

and the way your dog bites at my toes.

i want to push you far away

and ship you off to marseilles.

for this knife i carry will plunge deep

into your heart as i examine your cheek.

i want to pray to gracious god

after putting on this facade.

mother mary will scold me like i’m seven

but she’ll never hear my confession.

[lesbianturtle]

Caramel

The smell of caramel fills the room.

It shouldn’t be possible.

You were allergic,

Or did you not like me?

I guess it’s fair,

I never gave you any honey.

You claimed it was too sweet for you anyway.

We both know we’re lying.

[lesbianturtle]

Broken-hearted

Down, down, down,

Into the dark, dark sea.

He has lost his crown,

Never to be seen.

An abandoned wish,

To the ones departed.

Once swallowed by the fish,

Never to heal the broken-hearted.

The light has gone.

The journey has ended.

The girl awaits dawn,

Never to be contented.

[lesbianturtle]

It’s Something

Maybe,

There is something out there.

Not really something we can touch,

But it’s something we feel everyday.

We may never know what it is,

But it’s something.

And i will use every bit of my power

To cherish the something we will never truly know.