Can I request Saeran & Alters (+ Unknown) with an MC with ASPD? ~Embroidery Anon
I’m no expert but I tried my best!
He always wondered why you had been so willing to come and help him in the first place. Had you not realized the dangers with him? With Ray? It should have clicked right away. He had been asking you to come and help him play a game where you would be chatting and speaking on the phone with people. It was as fake as it could get but you decided to help him? Him of all people? It didn’t quite click for him until he started hanging around you more and more that he realized that you spent a lot of time looking for something to stimulate the void you feel inside with the lack of intense feelings to keep you from feeling numb.
He understands that you’ve got a fair amount of struggle with yourself, and he gets it because he feels like his head is a mess too. He doesn’t judge you for your struggles, just as you don’t judge him for his. You both work on trying to stop pushing yourselves away from others and accepting when you need to talk about things when they get numb. It’s a process but his hand is always in yours.
He knew that you were willing to help him but a part of him wanted to believe it was because you were so nice and wanted to be with him only after speaking to him for a couple of short minutes and nothing else. His infatuation is strong so there’s really no other thought in his mind at first about the subject. You tend to keep to yourself and didn’t interact with a lot of others which was good for him because nobody would make a fuss looking for you, but it also meant that you had the tendency not to reach out to others. He wanted to be one of the ones that you covet most, so he feels like he’s trying everything that he can think of to get into your personal life.
He understands that you have moments where you will push yourself into things just for the sake of feeling something, or that you’ll find yourself saying things or pushing others away. He doesn’t, or rather, he tries not to take it to heart but he has such an internal battle with feeling wanted at all, so it does take a little bit more talking to help him understand that it’s nothing against him personally. But, he’s so dependent that it might be a little overbearing.
It clicked for him a lot faster then it did for Ray because he had the patience to look up everything that he could locate in the files that that bug had made for you because he wanted to know what made you tick and what would be the fastest way to get you to crack. The fun part of the game was the hunt, so while he wanted to torment you and learn that way, he was smart enough to know that he needed to take extra measures to go there. It made sense to him after he figured it out, but he uses this factor against you because to him, it really does seem like you were using Ray and manipulating him. He’ll try to tear you down using your diagnosis against you.
He’s exactly the best person in the world because he’s trying to break everyone around him so they can’t hurt him, but not everyone can sense when he’s doing something like that. So, it will not be easy to be around him. Saeran will try to pry an explanation out of you or pull your hair till he hears what he wants, but he won’t be getting that because it’s not the truth. By the end, though, he’ll be sitting down and apologizing for thinking that you were cold, or unfeeling when you were really trying to help him all along.
The way you willingly went to the apartment, the way that you didn’t even glance at the door and the way that you found him? Yeah, he knew that you were going to be a handful for him and he knew that you were going to cause problems. Well, that wasn’t a big deal. He didn’t mind if he took on an assistant like you, you didn’t put up a fight and you went along with everything that he asked of you. He didn’t realize until the final days, or around the time that you were finally out of Mint Eye, that you had been doing those things because you felt numb, and your rash decisions with him had been because you were determined to feel anything apart from how you must have felt inside.
He understands to a point that you’re prone to pushing and pulling to get what you want, or what you don’t want. It makes no difference to him if you’re apathetic or not, as long as you believe in his power and his strength, he doesn’t make a fuss about anything. He’s pretty understanding and that might be surprising. He knows that he’s rather brash and cold to a T, so it’s easy for him to understand you during a swing.
