OH, IS IT YOUR BIRTHDAY? Why didn't WE know about this? uwu! WE CONGRATULATE YOU AND WISH YOU ONLY THE BEST! your kin stuff is very beautiful and we want you to be happy despite all the difficulties in ur life! 😭❤️ — Mod GIR and Tails! 💫💓
AAAAAAAA THANK YOU SOSO MUCH FOR THE KIND BIRTHDAY WISHES MY GOOD FRIENDS!!! I know I said I wouldn't post today but I just wanted to respond to this wonderful message!
Phil must be out the door in twenty minutes. It gives him ten to finish getting himself ready and then another ten to get his stuff together for the meeting and breathe. Breathe. Then, twenty minutes from now, their Uber will come. The app says the drive will take twenty minutes, which if that is true, it will give them fifteen minutes to spare: either fifteen for the possibility of hitting sudden traffic or fifteen to be early and breathe. Or both and Breathe. Now the clock on the bedside table behind him says nineteen minutes, but Phil is standing in front of the wardrobe, which gives him only less than nine minutes to pick out a shirt.
This is why he always wears black jeans.
Phil’s wardrobe is going to kill him. He’s going to fall into it, and it will kill him. Dan is running late, and because Dan is running late, Dan won’t notice that the wardrobe consumed Phil. Then, they’ll definitely be late. Or they’ll miss the meeting all together. The wardrobe ate Phil or is eating Phil or is eyeing Phil or is
“Here. Phil, wear this.”
Dan puts a hand on his shoulder and reaches into the wardrobe. Why doesn’t the wardrobe bite him? Why is Dan impervious to time, unlike Phil?
For Dan, it’s a second’s choice.
Time strings Dan along and not Phil, and Phil is lying on the floor bleeding out, as time is coming up against him like it does in a video game: the invisible wall pushing him forward into the level, into the unforeseeable doom that Phil cannot control. Dan can fly.
Phil is standing stuck. Shirt.
He looks at his hand. Is this too casual? Too smart? The pattern of the shirt intermingles in front of his eyes.
Put it on just breathe put it on just breathe.
He throws it over his head quickly, and now his hair is messed up so he’ll have to fix it again. Phil swings his head around. Five minutes.
Fix your fucking hair. Phil, fix your fucking hair.
Dan’s standing in front of the full-length mirror casually. Flirtatiously. Dan pushes back his hair one more time, as is if courting Time instead of Phil. Dan has dated Time for twenty-seven long, promiscuous years while Phil only for nine. Phil’s the spooked cat, but Time stares back at Dan. Time pushes His hair back in response to Dan’s gesture. An affair for nine years. Delayed. Careless. Borderline Reckless. All the time in the world for Dan. None for Phil, and Phil’s known Time longer. He trips him and turns up His nose to him because Phil can’t flirt—the blonde-haired girls from his primary school years know that. Time controls that. Time knows that, and Time makes him suffocate, as He flirts with Phil’s person. Phil’s Dan, not His Dan. Phil’s left spinning.
Phil’s Dan.
Their phones buzz in synch, placed together to the left of the clock on the bedside table, parallel to each other and charging. Ready to Go. Prepped and Connected. Dan and Not Phil. Dan was the one who placed their phones like that, neatly and orderly, last night before they went to bed. Phil can’t do that either.
His Dan takes one long-lasting gaze at Him, and Dan leaves the mirror to walk over to the clock and pick up his phone to type. Phil’s Dan then puts it to his ear.
Phil looks in the mirror with Dan gone, and everything in the reflection is ahead. A head. Fix your fucking hair. He pushes back his quiff, but it looks wrong, falls wrong. He can hear Dan behind him.
Behind him. So, if Dan’s behind him, where’s Time?
How many minutes? Phil turns around, and knocks right into him.
Him being Dan, not Him. Not Time.
He can’t fucking see? But Dan’s now in front of him, staring at him. Phil can’t see Dan’s face, and his heart is beating faster than the seconds—now ahead of time. Too fast for time. Without Time, without bearing.
His chest is caving inwards, inverted without time. Behind then ahead, never between. Dan is still there, somewhere, and Dan can flirt with Time—so Time must be somewhere.
Phil feels hands drag him onto the bed somewhere and sits him down on the duvet, which curves underneath him, supporting him. Dan is rubbing his back while also holding his hand. He can head His Dan’s voice.
“Phil? Phil, I want you to breathe. I know you can do that.”
Dan brings Phil’s hand to Dan’s chest.
“Follow my breathing.”
So, they sit there.
And Phil forgets the clocks.
After a period of breathing, of Dan bringing him to exist between, in the present, Dan speaks again.
“The meeting is canceled because something came up at the BBC, and Marianne is going to reschedule for us. She’ll let us know by either this evening or by tomorrow morning what the deal is. Everything is fine. We can just sit.”
Phil nods ones, looking forward. Still trying to breathe.
Dan brings him back to lie on the pillows, shuffling together to the top of the bed.
He can see a little better now that his eyes are attached to his brain and his brain to his train of thought.
Phil takes a breath, “I don’t know what happened.” Keep breathing.
“Do you want to try to tell me?”
Phil looks at Dan for the first time in an hour. His head is still spinning, but his chest is loosening so he’ll be okay.
“I woke up kind of off today, but I didn’t really think it was going to amount to anything until I started freaking out about being late, even when we weren’t going to be late. It’s stupid.”
“You know anxiety isn’t rational, Phil.”
‘Yeah.” Phil takes leans into Dan, onto his chest to hear his heartbeat. “Can we take a nap? I’m exhausted.”
“Of course.”
Dan pulls the covers over them both, and Phil listens to Dan’s heart slow from beating in time to something time can’t even touch or try to touch. The moment is theirs.
Heya heya guys!! It's now currently 12:35 and I gotta say that I had a pretty fun and happy time celebrating my 20th birthday even though I didn't really do anything or get anything much (I got Destroy All Humans from my brother since we both started playing video games again), but other than that I'm actually pretty happy that I'm 20 now (since my age doesn't make me seem like a child anymore)!
And if y'all wanna come in the inbox and chit chat with me, now is the perfect time!
Thank you all for reading and have a awesome day!!
Happy birthday Mod Hobbs! Hope your having a good day friend! 🎉✨💕 - Mod Rei ❤️
AWWWW THANK YOU SOSO MUCH REI MY GOOD GOOD FRIEND!! I thought that I'd take time to respond to this message as well since its gonna be a lil under a half hour before my bday is over!
Oh if ur not aware chronophobia is the fear of time/time passing, so, stuff like birthdays and aging etc. [Im not sure if you know...]
I looked it up when I got the initial ask but funny enough I did at first misspell it as chromophobia (a fear of colors), but I will keep that in mind!
