sum. you're both drunk and have to pee
⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ cw. piss play, cumplay?, pussy slapping, mild exhibition, reader is unshaved because i SAID SO (bush propaganda), inebriation...really idk what to say except that they get weird and sukuna's being gross
⊱ ۫ ׅ ✧ an. i really don't have an excuse for this i'm sorry.
Alcohol's a diuretic — which is probably why after a particularly lively night out drinking with Sukuna, the pressure on your bladder is sudden and intense. A signal from your brain that lets you know that your body needs to go, and now.
You've barely made it to his apartment just to find out that he needs to go immediately as well.
Except that the apartment has exactly one toilet.
"I'm going first—" you tell him.
You're already opening the lavatory, hand on the doorknob when he stops you.
You try to protest, but the ethanol in your veins blurs everything into a warm haze.
Makes you feel lighter and less like anything you do matters.
"We can go," he pushes the door open, guiding you in, "together."
Unfortunately, simply seeing the toilet triggers the need to pee with a renewed urgency.
You have no idea what he's talking about, and there's really only one thing that you care about right now, which is emptying your bladder.
"Fucking—ugh—" you mutter under your breath, already hiking your dress up till your navel.
If you were sober you'd probably be snapping at him and shoving him out the door to get some privacy — mind still fuzzy, you're already slipping your panties down.
You sit down just to find his dick is out, held in one hand as he peers down at you — a lopsided smirk on his lips that reveals he's still very much not sober yet either.
"The fuck?" you half-giggle.
Sukuna hums, nudging your legs further apart as your stream starts to flow — and even in this state you pick up that he's watching.
"Ohmygod, do you have a piss k—"
Hot liquid hits your pussy — and it's definitely not your own.
You squeal, about to snap your legs shut, but a knee in between stops you.
"Oh shit—" he groans, low and filthy — then trying to coax you, "Spread those pussylips a bit baby."
For whatever reason, your hand's already doing it — parting your lips with two fingers so he can get a good view of the stream through hazy, lidded eyes.
And his grin widens. "You like this, don't you?"
Then he tilts his dick to piss directly on your clit.
You make some feeble, incoherent sound at the sensation — his flow still going strong even though yours is starting to taper off.
"Dirty girl," he purrs, "Can't believe you're actually letting me do this."
Finally there's no more, and by now his dick is already swelling up.
Piss drips down your folds and there's a second before you actually regain a little bit of shame and yank your hand away from between your legs, wrenching your thighs closed.
"You're so weird, get out I'm washing this shit off—"
"Oh come on, it was kinda hot," he murmurs with a smug smirk, slowly stroking his cock to its full, hardened size. "Open 'em again, I'm not done yet."
Fuck this stupid alcohol — once again you're spreading yourself despite how filthy this all feels.
"Mm, perfect, just hold it like that," he breathes, tugging his cock faster.
Your head is swimming, displaying your piss-soaked cunt just for him to jerk off to.
It doesn't take long at all — with another few quickening pumps and a low, throaty curse, he cums.
His aim is a bit off so the first white ropes catch in the strands of hair on your pubis like cobwebs.
He adjusts, angling the spray lower and between the lips.
"God, I fucking— love making a mess out of your pussy—" he bites out, milking out every single last drop to catch on your folds.
By the time he's done, you do indeed feel like a mess — defiled with all the fluids dripping from your sex…which now includes your own arousal as well.
"Sukuna…" you finally find your voice, blinking and whining when he reaches forward to rub his cum into your folds and hair like moisturizer. "Ugh. This is so gross—"
He lets out a low, amused laugh before slapping your pussy once to make you jerk.
But his cock's still halfway erect when he wraps his hand around it again.
"Knees," he orders you flatly.
You cringe at the feel of your cunt all sticky and damp — but with a glare, you do sink off the seat and onto your knees.
He hums in approval, slapping his dick on your cheek. "You're obedient tonight…I like it."
Before you can say anything, he's tapping the tip on your lips as you look up at him with round eyes. "Use your mouth and clean it."
You swallow and stick your tongue out to swipe it against the slit — it tastes fainty salty from cum, and a little bitter from what you assume is urine.
"That's it," he whispers, other hand coming to rest firmly on your head. You suckle the tip a little and he shudders, likely still at least a bit sensitive.
Finally he pulls you off, the tip glistening with your spit, laughing under his breath. "Really licked it clean."
There may be alcohol in your system but this is enough for you to frown, rising to your feet. "Get out so I can wash off."
He grins, tucks himself back in and casually exits the lavatory to wash his hands.
"…And we're both going to pretend this never happened after tonight," you call out after him.
"Whatever you say, baby."