#tw sorta vent

[pap3r-love]

watching tadc and seeing caine just makes the robot/computer/ai/whatever u want to call it in me just... multiply. ill never fully understand humans, no matter how hard i try to please them and ove them and give everything to everyone.. no mater how hard i push them away to make sure i dont hurt them because i cant understand them. this feeling is immense, that mixxed with tenna is just killing me.

[wyrm-with-a-why]

I think I’m afraid of infodumping because in grade ten I was so excited because the queen and the sea dead cells trailer had released at the time and I was so excited to talk to my best friend(at the time) and I even drew a picture of the queen and was so excited then they suddenly started screaming at me, saying not everyone likes what I do and dont want to hear it even though our friend group used to talk about the things we liked all the time

I just didn’t get it. And then they got mad at me later on when I made jokes about their dsmp phase even though they blew up at me over dead cells. So it was probably me infodumping that ruined it all and that’s why I feel bad rambling

[pap3r-love]

being divine is hard when you remember you can't save everyone.

[wyrm-with-a-why]

The other day my parents were yelling at the tv about wrestling and being enthusiastic and I panicked so hard because I thought they were fighting-😭

[pap3r-love]

not to vent or anything but it rly gets annoying switching to and from interests like its a drug or something. I cant ever like anything normally and i cant ever like it for long. yeah some things stick but they arent on the forefront all the time. it gets tiring, but its the only thing i know and its the only way to keep my brain distracted long enough to get through the days. people think adhd and other neurodivergence is all fun and shit when it isnt. on the outside these interests are just hobbies, just fandoms, but for weeks or months they become my life. a whole new universe. any wrong thought or wrong idea or wrong person makes the wrong joke and it shuts down. then im back to the void.

anyways marvel. im watching the punisher and hopefully finishing all the daredevil stuff before the new spider-man comes out. well see if that happens lol.

sorry fir not being active besides reblogs i dont know what to post cuz a lot of my thoughts are just, sad. its hard to post when theres nothing to talk abt cuz the distraction only lasts so long and so much. i will get back to my regularly scheduled random bullshit fandoms eventually.

[gay-geek]

I've never needed to be wrecked so bad in my life holy shit

i had such a miserable day yesterday, part of it having to do with tkls, and i genuinely cannot

im dealing with the after effects of three hours of sobbing and breaking down and panic attacks and my body hurting me

so now im insanely understimulated but im also just numb to everything and i hate being numb

and fuck i just need to be absolutely fucking destroyed with tkls until i forget everything

all while also having someone making me feel good about myself

complimenting my reactions and my laugh and my body and just get rid of all this insecurity i feel

people talk about nicest tkls meanest teases

i need the opposite

meanest most playful and merciless tkls but the softest and sweetest teases

just

fuck i can't do this i need to be wrecked

[noncollared]

I didn’t know if it would be appropriate to ask this way but what- are you ok- is there was something specific you wanted to talk about maybe vent? Or a distraction conversation about whatever, I’m guessing that your panicking but I don’t know what’s happening so if you can- remove any possible stressors from where you are or go somewhere where there isnt any -possibly outside- drink some water or something if you haven’t already and breathe if your feeling panicked. (google has a good breathing exercise) I’ll listen if you need to vent or want to talk about whatever

it's not the worse thing ever , i'm just going through a episode right now and i really really miss my gf and now i feel like shit and uhh i might leave front because i'm seen as 'unstable' rn . so yeah , i'll try to do what you said , water always makes me feel good :3 i'm sorta just missing zaizai and also feeling like im going to throw up , it's nothing to bad but it's like effecting me a lot so i just want to talk to someone , about anything rn