//if anyone ever has the oppertunity to do so, and has a disability like Autism, ADHD or something like that, I recommend Psycho-education.
It's something I've been doing, and the only thing I knew about them was from friends and the internet. Its not always easy to find reliable information, but its also helped me to better understand and find ways to make life a bit easier. It also gives me a chance to stop for a sec and go 'Okay, is this actually whats happening, or is this the brain being upset making me think something is happening. What will make brain happy and calm and move forward?'
For those who don't know what it is; its essentially sessions where psychologists will talk about the disability, what your brain is actually physically doing, how that effects you, what can be frequent problems, how to help with frequent problems, and resources you can get to help you.
k, hear me out! You know how Dottore has (h̶a̶d̶) segments/clones of himself at various points in his life??
Let's say the reader is a segment of him when he was a kid.. and is used to spy on the traveler (though I guess the traveler doesn't know its a clone💀)
This was a tough one, I'm not gonna lie. I've redone it a couple of times, and I'm still not sure if I like it. But the idea is great, don't get me wrong. It was just hard to fit it in a relatively short format. Lumine is the traveler here, because flip-a-coin said so.
Genre: Angst/Whump
Characters: Lumine, Dottore
TW: Graphic descriptions of disease and body decay.
You were born exactly fifteen years ago.
Well, born is the wrong term here. You were separated from Dottore's body, and contorted into an exact copy of him. You looked the same, talked the same, knew the same, walked the same.
Yet your mind was a separate one. Nobody knows if that was an oversight from the other you, or if it was intended. That meant you didn't share the same personality or values. Dottore, young as he was back then, wasn't the best person to argue with about worldview. A few careless words could mean being on the wrong side of the observation room.
So you swallowed all of your worries and pretended to be him. You worked together, but you got the short end of the stick most of the time. While Dottore would engage in actually interesting experiments and activities, you were his 'gofer'. The amount of trips to the kitchen, public institutions and libraries were far too many to count. It was a dull, but not a bad way to live.
Over the years, something became painfully obvious, though.
Dottore made a mistake. A grievous mistake. Not lethal for him, of course. But for you.
You aged. Faster than him, in fact. Something went wrong during the soul fragmentation process, which caused rapid growth of your body. When he became one of the Harbingers at a fairly young age, you were already taller than him. Your physical appearance didn't go along with the development, so despite measuring a whole two meters in height, you still had his teen features. That proved to be an interesting development in your other self's eyes. It meant that people couldn't recognize you as another version of him.
That opened a whole new world of possibilities, namely espionage. Suddenly, from carrying around books or coffee, you became a field agent for the Fatui. With Dottore's skills and a whole new identity, you could easily infiltrate any enemy organization and strike from behind. Luckily for you, Dottore's ego extended to his other versions, meaning that all of the dirty work was left up to the skirmishers to carry out.
Still, it was hard to live like this. Constantly gaining people's trust, meddling with their affairs and vanishing without a trace, only to do it again. You took many names and lived under many covers, never able to settle down and have some well-deserved rest. You were happy, however. Happy that Dottore had a use for you, that he saw value in your existence.
You were so stupid to think that would last.
When Dottore learned how to change the appearance of his other clones, your skills became... obsolete. What's more - you were now a threat. Unlike the other segments, you had a separate, free mind to you, and since you knew far too much about the Fatui's inner workings, you were dangerous.
Yet the other you felt a certain... nostalgia towards you. You were the first of his masterpieces, possibly the greatest of them all. So Dottore wanted to use you for all of your worth.
As soon as a certain short, blond haired girl and her flying companion made themselves known by foiling Childe's plan, it was obvious someone had to keep tabs on her all the time. Someone expandable, but loyal.
And so, you became her shadow.
You slowly learnt her routine, her connections, friends, beliefs and skills. Even though Lumine wasn't really aware of your existence, you knew more about her than even Paimon. Despite your hard attempts at remaining hidden, a slip up occurred some day, and you came face to face with her. Smooth talking and quick thinking were both in your job description, so you managed to save face. Lumine was still very young, and gullible enough to believe you were just passing by, despite having seen you around multiple times already. Seeing a prime opportunity in this new development, you asked her to join on her travels. And she agreed.
For some time, it felt like an entirely different world. A world without the need to torture, betray, steal and lie. You helped her with her issues, using your skill and knowledge to aid her quest of finding her brother. And you used it in the name of good. You two helped almost everyone you came across. Whether it was saving an abducted family member, recovering stolen goods or just helping someone prepare a gift, sweet Lumine never refused anyone, no matter how trivial or mundane the work was. As a derivative of a psychopath, you didn't get it at first, especially that you knew what she was capable of. Why in the world would she go around saving kittens or entertaining one of the Harbinger's siblings when she could overcome gods? But the answer made itself more and more clear with every smile you helped her put on someone's face.
She did it because... because it felt good.
It felt good to do good things.
Good to build, not destroy.
Your fondness for the traveler was getting more and more obvious with each report sent to your creator. When you stated in one of Lumine's wound descriptions that "luckily for us, she made a full recovery", it was clear that your loyalty was not as crystal clear as before. That angered Primo Dottore. How could he create something so traitorous?
When the order to cut her throat when she slept, you refused for the first time. So the next time you met eye to eye, The good Doctor presented you with a small syringe. He told you it was your usual anti-aging solution, and you took it without question, as always.
The effects of that substance he gave you weren't immediately obvious.
It started slow, with cracking skin, joint aches and stomach pains. Over time, you found more and more of your hair on your brush. A month passed, and you started coughing. The wounds, no matter how small or insignificant, didn't heal up properly anymore. Gradual muscular dystrophy lowered your combat abilities, forcing Lumine to protect you from danger. Fever kicked in as the many wounds became infected. Wiping puss from them soon became too bothersome, as it returned moments later, its supply seemingly endless. By the end of the second month, your skin was shriveled and pale.
Your cells started falling off along all of your tracts, leading to bloody secretions. Lumine, already disheartened by your state, was on the verge of tears when you stained the sink crimson for the first time. She seeked help from everyone she knew - Kokomi, Zhongli, Barbara, Ei, Miko, Baizhu... None of them could help keep her best friend from falling apart before her eyes. They could only provide temporary relief, drag out the inevitable.
Weeks passed, and you were reduced to a bandaged up, incomplete skeleton. Your left arm fell off when you hit it on the door, and your right knee collapsed, unable to hold you upright. Everything hurts. You couldn't drink, eat or sleep. Despite all of the abuse, your body refused to give up, refused to finally keel over and die. You still had something to do.
With the last ounces of your strength, you revealed Lumine the truth. The truth about your name, your origin, your work. You confessed to as many horrible deeds you committed as you could recall, hoping to drive her away. To make her despise you. To make her not care. Not cry every night.
She didn't leave your side until the end. Why? Because she knew you. You didn't want to murder, to lie, to rob and betray. You never asked for this life. It was forced upon you by a Harbinger with the ambition to rule over life and death.
Lumine's mind was filled with fond memories of you. Your laughter still resonated in her mind, but she just couldn't get herself to recall your face. Because every time she thought of it, only the noseless, toothless and wide-eyed cadaver would greet her. She couldn't force the image of someone she cared for, liked, loved so much reduced to this.
She came to her senses only months after your funeral, and took up her quest again. This time, alone, and with a far different attitude.
She spared Childe. She spared Scaramouche.
But whoever faced her in Fontaine would not be so lucky.
I hope Puss joins Lillie in murdering Kitty’s old family. Otherwise I will find a way to reach through my screen and do it myself because I AN FOAMING AT THE MOUTH WITH RAGE KITTY DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER.
Wait I just had a thought: would one of the gifs be able to regrow Kitty’s claws? There’s gotta be some sort of deity for healing, right?
Kitty does so deserve much better
And there probably is a deity of healing but I’m uncomfortable with having kitty magically have her claws back as you said her being declaw is a disability and many people don’t like the thought of a magical cure for disabilities. Like I don’t know if your in the warrior cats fandom my anon friend but many people were upset when (spoiler) brairlight died and she got the use of her legs back in starclan (which is said that the cats take the form of when they’re were the happiest they were alive)
I’m hoping I’m making sense
Anyway no kitty is not getting her claws magically back…. If that wasn’t her wish for the wishing star I think that while she wished it didn’t happen as long as she got her friends and family she will be ok
I know MC will have a permanent disability and you can write whatever you want but if we lose an arm can we choose which one? (I'm left handed and I would rather keep that arm) (But you can write however you want, in fact, go crazy, I like all these torture-y violence-y games)
Hi, darling!
I don't want to get into too many details on this because I'd go into spoiler territory, but the disability is set for plot reasons (I'd have to write too many variants if that was not the case, I'm afraid).
In a world ravaged by wars and conflicts, where the law of the sword still reigns, and inhabited by the most terrible and bloodthirsty creatures, it is to be expected to find citizens with the most va
If y’all are interested, I recently voiced in a mod that dropped today.
