Tw; I have coeliacs disease and I fucking hate it and wanna get rid of it and I know I never will - is this ableism? Unsure so tagged just in case.
I know we're supposed to accept ourselves as we are but honestly if I could get rid of my autoimmune disease so I could live a "normal" lifestyle and eat a "normal" diet, I'd take that pill or that cure in a heartbeat.
Coeliacs disease is absolutely fucking awful and I was diagnosed eight years ago and I still am, in my core, angry at my body for betraying me and activating that dormant disease. It's lonely and expensive and is socially isolating and a pain to accommodate, both for me and for other people (not that I ever expect people to accommodate for me, but many who offer then complain later because it's so expensive and that makes me feel so guilty and shitty even though it isn't my fault). It's also scary and VERY painful if an accident with gluten happens, the consequences are absolutely unreal and awful and I have food anxieties because if I have wheat or gluten ONE TIME I could literally develop cancer.
I never stray from a strict gluten free diet and I am VERY careful with my food, but also if I could cure it and be "normal" again, I absolutely would. Maybe this is a questionable thing to say but I don't even care right now, I mourn all the foods I can never eat again or will never get to try and how I never used to have to question anything and could just eat and enjoy it. If I could get rid of coeliacs disease and its many complications even when you follow a gluten free diet, then I would.
I'm still so angry and trying not to be, because I'll have this life changing disease forever and I hate it very much. Usually this part of me doesn't bother me, but today I woke up angry and upset about it and I needed a space to vent.❤️
This Talk I've Been Putting Off Because I Have Hard Opinions On This And I Know It's Not A Fun One Cause I'm Calling Out A Lot Of Warriors Fanfiction - Discussion
so a while ago
people wanted me to talk about Warrior cats and birth defects [namely outward birth defects because people don't really write heart conditions and blood disorders into their fanfics] and a lot of them I deleted but I knew that I wanted to address it
because not only was it something that comes up here
but it comes up in fanfiction as well and it's something that I have a lot of strong opinions on because I strongly believe that a lot of this fandom doesn't know how to handle properly writing these things
I do not suffer from any birth defects, but if anyone who does / knows someone who does wants to add on, I'm more than welcoming the input!
these are just my personal feelings in the end
that being said
warning for the following;
talks about birth, deformities, ableism, and mistreatment
/
this isn't going to be a pleasant conversation
and I will not be calling out any one person, as it's an issue persistent in a lot of the fandom and not just any one person who does this
but when it comes to birth defects and deformities, especially those that drastically change the appearance of a cat
the Warrors fandom can be very ableist when writing these characters
with prefixes ranging from Blood-, Twisted-, Lost-, etc. these names always feel like they're belittling the character for even being born. Their Clanmates often harass or look down at them to the point you wonder why they're even staying in the Clan.
it's not pleasant to read a character suffer for being born, especially if they're tossed to the side by their parents with no one else willing or wanting to help take care of them
it feels like straight up torture sometimes with how these characters are treated and I, personally, do not find it pleasant to read at all
I can understand not all cats would understand a cat born with a defect, but when it's constant attack on a disabled character - which, yes, birth defects are disabilities - it feels more painful than anything to have everyone in their life hold nothing but contempt for them
Janus cats especially become the target as they're often described, in the narrative of fanfics, as 'monsters' or 'creatures'
and sometimes it feels like the writers themselves sometimes forget that they're writing a character and not a punching bag for their fictional world because I've seen a lot of stories where the character with the birth defect has a hard time winning at life
and again, I'm not saying people can have this in their stories
but when it's the entire story and most of the cast that's just punching down on a character who was born with two legs or whatever the character has
it doesn't feel pleasant
and while a cat with a physical birth defect probably wouldn't always have everyone on their side, it feels gross to me when people just have nothing but abuse hurled at them
not to mention that a lot of people don't always research how a cat like this would live and turn it into torture p*rn of having them in constant pain, or hated by everyone, seen as a monsterous creature that should've never been born, etc.
and some birth defects to involve pain
I won't pretend they don't
but all writers ever seem to focus on is the suffering of the character in question
and idk about everyone else, but as someone with chronic intense pain, I don't find it fun to see disabled characters suffering at the hands [or paws] of everyone around them????
/
I thought I'd be able to write more but this legit bothers me and making me feel irrationally upset
so tldr; please stop writing birth defects as an excuse to horrifically bully a character and also please do research into defects if you're going to use them
while I'm thinking about it, also stop turning characters with birth defects into monster allegories because that also isn't fun to read
| | Hello anon. You've come to complain about someone else's artistic vision as if that's the most original thing to do on the internet. Good Job. Props to you. How very unique of you.
If it bothers you so much why don't you file a formal complaint about it, so it can get tossed onto the pile of all the other things I don't care about.
I think the words you're looking for are "Why do you write Edward with that dialect?" Because saying he speaks like a dumb hick is awful classist of you. The way someone speaks has no direct connection to the matter of their intelligence. I mean it's pretty ableist for you to think it does.
if you would like to know more about his dialect you can find the things I've already written about it here and here, but don't get too offended when you find out that canon does it too.
The accent I choose to write him with is a mid-western accent and it's reflective of his tendency to speak both quickly and informally. The trick to reading his dialogue is it's meant to be read fast.
Please try to be more considerate when you comment on the way people speak in the future. There's no judgements here, people can speak in whatever accent they want. There so many scattered around the globe after all and not one is better than the other and not one is a direct reflection on intelligence.
Again if this bothers so you much, the unfollow button is right there and if you aren't following me in the first place then why are you here?
thank you for the call out. i was eyeing up that group for the last couple of days and was considering applying. seriously, thank you so much!!
Glad to help where I can ! I know it sucks having roleplays like that out there but you'll find a roleplay that your muse can call home !! Also going to kind of piggyback off of this, as I woke up and checked our main we had another message from them. You can find it below!
❗❗ TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD: Ableism, suicide mention in the tags (Please educate me if I tagged that wrong and if I did I'm sorry !)
@forgottenfriendshiprpg @manilarpg -- Yes, I'm @-ing you now. From what I've read on the other call out blogs is that you're 36 or older, do you really have nothing better to do than to send our main hate?? I find it ironic that you think we don't accept friendship and magic into our roleplay especially since -- we have a number of TVD characters in the group; magic. We have The Hobbit; magic, Teen Wolf & Marvel; magic. Lizzie/Hope; Friends, girlfriends actually, Steve/Bucky; friends, Natasha/Steve; friends, Elena/Caroline/Bonnie; friends. And that's just to name a few at the top of my head. Short answer as to why we're not accepting My Little Pony into the group? We're not comfortable with it, and YOU.
We don't have to accept every single fandom out there, we can simply ban one because we're not comfortable with it. There is no roleplay law saying that we must have every fandom out there, hell even you have a banned fandom section. Are we attacking you about it? No. Are we attacking you at all? No. But thank you, for officially confirming who you are (we knew from the beginning) but this message really solidifies it.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to attack every multi-fandom roleplay out there, but I'm going to let you in on a little secret. There can be more than one multi-fandom roleplay in the tags. I know, shocking, right? We have done nothing to you, so leave us alone. Tend to your own roleplay and members.
This is a post that was on their main yesterday and has since been deleted. I'm not sure who is sending them hate, or if there is any at all tbh but it's not us. However, she claims that this is the only roleplay she has but....
Here, she says she has another roleplay. Please take note of the way they tag their things. If you can't see it, it's as follows: f.f:admin.alex.
This is manilarpg. It's a little hard to read, so I highlighted the tags. See the manila:admin.jasmine. ?
Jacqueline/Jazzy/K,Alex all of her alias (I'm sure there's more tbh.) and now Jasmine. This is taken from their OOC list on manilarpg.
To those who aren't the admins from the two groups stated above: I'm sorry for the rant. I'm at my wits end with this honestly and so are the other admins of my group. If you're getting messages like these, or the ones I posted in my other PSA -- report their blog. Myself, and my other admins have been doing that as well.
And if someone is harassing you about not accepting certain fandoms, characters or plots in your group. Fuck them. It's your group. You put in the work for it, not them. You keep doing you and being awesome. I've seen a lot of the roleplays in the tags and you guys are doing amazing. However, if you do receive messages like we have I advise you keep them as proof for if/when you report their blog.
{ Dove Cameron, cisfemale, she/her, Human } Alice Lidell is a 19 year old Freshman at Fantasia University, studying Art. People say she’s a lot like Alice from Alice in Wonderland because she’s Curious and Odd.
Alice Clarissa Lidell was born and raised in a small town outside London.
Growing up, Alice always felt as though she never belonged. Her older sister was the perfect and virtually normal one while Alice was seen as strange and too quirky for her parents taste.
Due to this Alice has always had trouble making friends and preferred to stay in a world of her own making where anything was possible.
Thinking something was wrong with their daughter she was taken to a psychiatrist to help her get in touch with reality this included therapy and things that weren’t so pleasant.
Of course this didn’t change her curious and imaginative nature in fact it only seemed to strength it. She continued to channel her creativity in various ways including drawing up her own fantasy land.
Alice was instantly attracted to Fantasia U because it was conformation that her fantasies weren’t fantasies at all. It was a nice escape from her mundane life and a chance for her to be herself.
She is an Art major she enjoys creating her dream world and making it a reality in any way she can.
Alice is extremely creative and bubbly! She can be a little odd and quirky at times, thinking of strange things and making up phrases that don’t exist. Most of her time is usually spent daydreaming.
She collects teacups for some reason they just fascinate her!
Potential plots/wanted connections:
friends/enemies and anything in between!
Anyone from Alice In Wonderland to have a pre established connection!
Romantic relationship: Someone who is charmed by her quirkiness and will adore her just the way she is! She will be super accepting of them and will give them lots of cuddles and loving!
in my Japan group, I was talking about my disability and how just literally everything hurts and how walking is hard. One of the nicer guys was like “so why don’t you get a wheelchair? Just stop walking completely.” and when I laughed and was like “yeah, nobody really knows what causes this” another one of the guys was like “oh yeah my dad’s a doctor and he runs into a lot of people who say they have that just to get on disability”
like..... why would you think that’s a good thing to say to someone who’s obviously disabled and obviously struggling!?!?!?
wheelchairs have even more stigma against them than canes do! They’re expensive as FUCK and even using them wouldn’t really help me! What part of “my entire body hurts” don’t you understand? That means I’m sitting all day, which is putting pressure on my hips! Pressure equals pain! And like... why would you tell me to my face that you believe the stigma against people with fibro!? You basically just told me that you believe my condition is fake! That people use it to get “free money”! NEWSFLASH! You don’t just get disability because you have fibro, and even then, being on disability can be revoked at ANY TIME! Are people just naturally this ignorant!?
Sometimes his entire desk was missing from the classroom.
He’s was not fluent in Korean yet, still in middle school, and he had a hard time explaining to his teacher why his desk was missing. The kids responsible for the theft glanced back at Yifan much like an outsider. He registered muffled snickerin after struggling with basic grammar. His face burned, but he never once dropped his head. No amount of embarrassment would ever drag down his eyes.
What he never ignored were the kids that targeted his sister. They teased her because she could not hear them. She still wore a hearing aid then, but it only worked well enough when she could read lips at the same time. She was hit in the head with a basketball during gym once, and Yifan watched it shatter on the ground into little pieces, just like that. An integral part of her world gone, just like that.
The kid responsible for the accident argued ‘her rich dad can just buy a new one’.
Yifan landed in the principal's office for causing the fight. His knuckles pulsed painfully but they never offered him ice for the injury. He would wear those bruises for days, and his father would be told to transfer him to another school a week later.
Troublemaker.
It was easy to isolate the kid from out of the country. His record was problematic for a prestigious school, and his father’s reputation in South Korea could never quite make it seem spotless.
He sat on the curb outside his school, telling the family driver he would walk home. His sister waved sadly at him from an open window. She had to sit up on her knees to properly see him, and he smiled for her. It’s the type of grin that starts to fade as daylight sinks passed his shoes and becomes dusk. He stared down at concrete until someone kicked his sneaker hard enough for him to look up.
Later, he would learn the boy’s name. Yongguk. But then, he did not ask. He glared, like a wet cat backed into a corner. They appeared like the type of kid his dad warned him to stay away from. Yifan barely heard the greeting.
“--looks like a good story.”
Confusion swarmed Yifan’s expression, and the other boy made a sound too brief to be a laugh. They still seemed amused.
“Your hand. It looks like a good story.” They chose to sit beside him, and Yifan thought about walking away. But curiosity had him waiting for more. “Who’s face is telling the other half of it?”
He cracks a smile.
“No one you know.”
Yongguk exhaled sharply, side-eyeing Yifan.
“You think I don’t go to a fancy school like this?” They waved a hand at the private academy gates. “You’re right, my school is much better. You wouldn’t even get in. High standards, and all.”
It was Yifan’s turn to scoff, arms resting on the top of his knees. He flexed his fingers, staring down at the ugly mess of bruises.
“What do you want?”
Yongguk cocked a brow, shrugging at Yifan.
“Nothing,” they admitted. “You looked depressed, so I decided to talk to you.”
Yifan formed a fist, as if he might punch the other in the shoulder. He stuffed both hands into the pockets of his blazer instead, hidden under deep blue fabric. It’s a comedic scene between a kid in worn out street clothes and another in a private school uniform.
“Go ahead, punch me.”
Yifan shook his head, exhaling on his disbelief, “You’re crazy.”
The pain was immediate when their fist connected with the side of his arm. It was not a soft attack, and Yifan jolted, scrambling away from the insane kid that just punched him in the goddamn arm.
“What the f--” he stopped, breathing out through his nose, still clutching the assaulted arm. “What is wrong with you?”
“Don’t curse either, huh?” It was less of a question from Yongguk’s mouth, and more of a statement. They remain on the curb, particularly unbothered by Yifan’s response. Long bangs hang over the dark eyes trained on him. “You can punch me back if you want.”
“I’m not going to punch you.” This kid was weird-- crazy. Yifan didn’t like to attach labels to people. He had been the one called names, the person people assumed things about. But in that case-- “I don’t use violence to communicate.”
“No one talks like that.” Yongguk stood up, stepping closer, and only stopped when Yifan retreated back. “It’s not really what you want to say, is it?”
Yifan wished to start walking, forcing distance between himself and the entire events of the day. His father would be waiting at home for him with a lecture, some form of discipline that involved training exercises drilled into him until he passed out.
Yifan convinced himself he stayed only to prove a point to the psycho kid, and not to avoid his father.
“And what do I want to say?”
Yongguk shrugged off the question, glancing down at Yifan’s hand. Yifan looked down, too.
“What did you want to say to the one you did that to?”
Yifan clutched onto his silence like a safety net, staring down at the ground. Yongguk only stepped forward to smack his injured arm, prompting Yifan to shove them backwards.
“Fuck you--” and he clamped his teeth down on his tongue. He hated the way curse words felt in his mouth, but there’s something satisfying about letting that distaste go. Even for a moment.
It was never his in the first place.
Yongguk seemed unaffected, watching Yifan. They attempted to go for his arm again, and Yifan sidestepped the action, slamming his fist into the same spot they’d injured him.
Yongguk for once appeared surprised. It disappeared too quickly. Yifan found himself in a headlock, struggling to breath with their arm pressed up against his throat. Their scent swarmed his nose, smelled like smoke, and rust, and crowded buildings. His elbow found a place deep in Yongguk’s gut. Their fist eventually connected with his face.
THis was the first time two childhood best friends met and the first time they left each other bloodied up from a fight.
They continued to meet after this despite their differences. They lived in opposite worlds but thrived in the one they built with each other. His father never found out the boy he invited over the estate was the same one who broke his nose so many months ago.
Yongguk and Yifan cradled each other’s secrets this way without ever discovering the truth.
--
There would never be a good enough answer for Yifan.
Betrayal would always kill the idea of a person in his mind. Still, he asked.
