Summary: Raphael returns to his boudoir only to discover that you’ve lost his child, and it wasn’t from natural causes. His rage spirals when he finds it was due to a fellow follower of his…
Notes: I suck at summaries But I loved how this turned out so I hope you do as well!!!
Pairings: Raphael × f!Tav/Reader
• Hurt I Angst I Miscarriage | Ascended Raphael | Raphael Gets His Revenge
Ao3
As Raphael returned to his domain, an unsettling sight awaited him in the heart of his boudoir. There, amidst the opulence, was Haarlep, his personal incubus, cradling you in their arms within the large bath. Raphael's eyes scanned the water, a macabre blend of red and clear, tainted by the presence of blood. His gaze then shifted to his beloved little mouse, your hair clinging to your face, your skin glistening with sweat, and your breath laborious as your eyes remained closed.
But it was the sight of the tiny wrapped figure beside you on the bath’s edge, drenched in blood, that sent Raphael's rage spiraling to new heights. He didn't need to uncover it; he knew within his very core that his heir, his precious child, had been stolen away. With such a great loss, for the first time in centuries, his heart felt heavy.
"What happened?!" Raphael's voice seethed with malice, his clenched fist emphasizing his anger. Haarlep, usually insolent but now treading carefully, moved away from you and gently positioned you against the steps of the bath, ensuring some comfort. Approaching Raphael, Haarlep’s concealed their voice in a whisper so that you couldn’t hear, "It would seem that your dear tav has gone and lost your little pup-," Haarlep began, only to be interrupted by a warning glare from Raphael, “The lady of the house has miscarried," The incubus finally confessed.
Raphael's rage intensified, his words laced with venom, "I see that, you insolent creature! How did this come to pass?!" Aware of the consequences should they misstep, Haarlep treaded carefully, knowing their fate might just mirror Hope's in the basement.
In a snap, Haarlep summoned a cup, presenting it to Raphael. "Korilla brought this to my attention. A glass of deceit, a venom ever so sweet. It's tainted with juniper." Seizing the cup, Raphael brought it to his nose, confirming the presence of the insidious poison. It dawned on him that an intruder had violated his sanctuary, contaminating his precious little mouse, with this abhorrent act. Even as a devil, he recoiled at the thought of snuffing out the life within a mother's womb. This transgressor would pay a heavy price, both their soul and flesh, as Raphael vowed to exact a merciless retribution upon them.
It only took a couple of hours, but Raphael manages to track down the culprit, Korilla, once a cherished follower, always by his side. Yet, for reasons unknown, she had chosen to betray him in the most vile of ways… As Korilla returned to his domain, Raphael awaited her, leaning casually against a pillar, his arms crossed in a display of controlled dominance. His face, seemingly normal, concealed the depths of his wrath. When she finally approached, he began to circle her like a predator sizing up its prey, his gaze never wavering.
“Tell me, dear Korilla, how was your day?”
Her voice was filled with falsehoods, twisting a tale to make it seem as if though she were gathering clients for him.
"Ah, ah," Raphael interjected, his tone laced with a sadistic delight. "The truth is far greater than that feeble lie of yours." His features twisted with a mix of disgust and fury, his nose scrunching in disdain. And in a snap of his fingers, the very cup from which you had sipped appeared before them.
"Justify this to me! Why I stumbled upon what is undeniably my possession, nestled within the grasp of Haarlep, grieving for the loss of my own flesh and blood? The stillbirth, wrapped in a cloth stained with the taint of blood!” He condemned her for the atrocious deed, declaring, "You invaded my sanctuary, forcefully snatching away my child from the very womb that belongs to me!”
Korilla stood her ground, her calm demeanor unwavering. "I did this for your own sake," she asserted. "That mortal was tainting your path to becoming the next ruler of the Nine Hells. I'm sorry, but it needed to be done."
“You thought you were acting in my best interest, did you?" Raphael's scowl shifts to a smile, "Your feeble attempt to protect me has only sealed your fate."
Korilla trembled, her once defiant spirit now reduced to a mere flicker of fear. She had underestimated the power and ferocity of Raphael's love for you, and now she would pay the price for her treachery. But even in the face of imminent punishment, a spark of hope ignited within her, "Raphael, you cannot blame me for this," Korilla pleaded, her voice trembling with a mixture of fear and desperation. "I did what I believed was necessary to protect you, to protect House Hope.
Flames consumed him, "Your time has come to an end, Korilla,” Raphael growled, his voice resonating with a deep, otherworldly tone. "But fear not, for your sister shall keep you company as I flay you and adorn my abode with your entrails.”
As his true form emerged. He transformed into a monstrous fiend with wings unfurling from his back, a tail lashing behind him, and a wild mane of fire cascading around his head. His once simple horns morphed into a complex crown of infernal bone, framing his snouted face. Two additional faces erupted from his cheekbones, giving him a total of four menacing, orange eyes. His entire being radiated with the glow of infernal flame, and fearsome tusks jutted forth from each of his mouths.
Raphael approached, his towering figure casting a haunting shadow over Korilla. His claws extended, glinting ominously in the flickering light. He reached out, his talons grazing her trembling skin, causing her to shudder in fear and anticipation. With each touch, a searing pain coursed through her body, a mere taste of the agony that awaited her.
MC was also punished on miscarriage route ?? 😲 How are they at fault ?? Does Leif think they did it on purpose ? Was he the one who lashed them ?
1. Yes, MC was punished on that route.
2. The miscarriages happen due to mc's cervix or ruined body (gn) also due to poisoning(one of the consorts may had done so) which also mc would poison themselves so half and half.
3. Leif does think so.
4. Leif was, it was supposed to be a memeber of the church but Leif wanted to ruin mc's health and scare mc more.
pairing - nanami kento x gojou!fem!reader x fushiguro toji
genre - parent!au, 6.7k
warnings quite a few so pls do check the tags!
a/n - im so sorry for how late this chapter is!!! ive been doing more hours at work and trying to revise for my exams
masterlist
now playing - exile, taylor swift ft bon ivor
Today was a miracle, a date to be remembered for lifetimes to come. Finally Toji wanted to see Megumi, willingly, without you having to shout and beg at him. He texted you first thing in the morning, asking if he could spend the day with the boy. No part of you was worried, for once in the past couple of days you had finally felt a little ease. It was nice that Toji wanted to spend more time with Megumi even if you approve of Toji’s partner, you’d rather eat fifty needles than to see Momo’s face again. The peace was short-filled when you were met with Megumi’s sour frown at the change of plans. He had only made that face once in his five years of life. Weirdly, his frown looked almost identical to Toji’s, you had to take a moment to realise that it was Megumi standing in front of you and not his brooding father.
“But I want to go home,” the Toji lookalike grumbled as you fixed his unkept hair to be neat and tidy, managing the untamed ink strands as best as you could. For some odd reasons, his hair wouldn’t stay down no matter how hard you tried.
You should have anticipated this. Megumi had never spent so many days without seeing Yuuji and Sukuna after school, now it was beginning to become bothersome. Of course the group saw each other in school every single day but it wasn’t the same as going around each other's houses and playing in the comforts of their own rooms. You always had a reason for him to not go over to Nanami’s house whether it being that Satoru was coming over or that you were taking him out. The little boy began to miss the tall blond too. Megumi wanted to see his dad. It wasn’t fair!
“Your dad misses you, he wants to spend time with you ‘Gumi.”
“But mummy please!” The boy begged again with a loud whine in his words, small footsteps followed behind you as you walked into your bedroom to retrieve a new pair of heels to wear for the day, ignoring the high pitched sounds.
You lifted the box into your lap, pausing yourself for a second to plead with the child once more. Holding his face, you made Megumi face you directly so he could see the fake serious demeanour you put on so he knew you meant business. “It’s just for today, then I’ll do whatever you ask.”
At the sound of that, Megumi was more than willing to comply. Maybe things will go his way after all.
The rest of the day is quiet after you drop Megumi off at school, successfully managing to ignore Nanami once again, you are becoming increasingly good at it. You only had one meeting for the day, with the Kamo group to hopefully get them on board and finalise the contract. It was a lot harder than you expected for Choso to come around and find common terms to agree on, not that you predicted anything less from your friend.There were so many different things occurring it was too hard to keep a track on every little detail. Your main focus of the day was the meeting with the Kamo’s, you desperately needed it to go well otherwise all the stress would have amounted to nothing. Recently, you found a new form of therapy that calms your mind - retail therapy. Nothing could go wrong when you were expecting another package of designer heels. To be honest you knew it was silly and reckless but there was something about buying such a beautiful item which made your newly broken heart seem whole again. It worked when you bought yourself the new Jimmy Choso heels you had seen a celebrity wear on a red carpet, imagining yourself in them, all dressed gorgeously. There was a dress collecting dust in your closet, from never being worn, that was practically made for the glossy white stilettos; a match made in heaven. You planned to wear the dress to an upcoming date but now it looks like the dress would be left untouched for another few years, unless your friends wanted to invite you out, which you doubt would happen with their own hectic lives. You’d just have to settle for putting on a fashion show for Megumi, the only fashion critic you trusted.
As with any new shoes, the heels began to become troublesome half way through the work day, you no longer felt like a model who had just come off the runway but like a class-A clown. A sharp shooting pain ran up through your right foot and into your leg, it felt like you were walking on glass. You chose to ignore it and smile through the pain, which worked for another hour, somehow you magicked up the ability to block out the pain completely.
“Oh Miss Gojou you’re bleeding!” Cindy, one of the international transfers, said with worry as she held your arm to stop you from walking further. “Are you okay? Does it hurt?”
You look down to your feet and see that you in fact are bleeding, from multiple places on your foot actually. Some of your blood had even begun staining your brand new heels, taking the nude interior to a deep maroon. It was as if seeing the actual pain made it hurt ten times more, you didn’t exactly have the opportunity to take off the shoes and walk around barefoot, especially not when you had to meet the Kamo group in less than a minute. You decided to just bear the pain, when you get back into your office then you can take them off and relax, that’s what you would do.
“I’ll be fine, they’re probably just really bad blisters,” you give the troubled worker a simple smile, hoping it would ease the tightness in her dark brows. Cindy feels sceptical when you wave at her one last time before making your way to the board room.
Thankfully no one else picked up on the very noticeable red droplets forming along the line where the harsh material of the shoe met your foot. This would only happen to you and no one else, maybe it was your karma? Have you done something bad recently? You didn’t have time to think about the pain you were in when Choso said he’d sign the contract, you could’ve jumped for joy. The hard work paid off in the end. When you returned back to your office, trying your hardest to not grin from happiness after the successful meeting, you let out a squeal once the door closed behind you. The silence of the room hits you then it dawns upon you how embarrassing you would have looked to an onlooker. You cough dryly as heat burns your cheeks. Whilst taking small steps to your desk you notice an unfamiliar item sitting on top of the pile of paperwork. A small white box with a picture of plasters on the front. That wasn’t there earlier and you don’t remember buying any plasters recently.
How odd.
Gently, you dabbed at the open cuts all around the perimeter of your feet with an antiseptic wipe, no matter how careful you were or how small the blister was, it hurt like hell. At least, once you let yourself rest and placed the plasters accordingly, you felt a little better. Looking at the soiled pair of shoes made you sad, you couldn’t even have pretty things without somehow ruining them. The solemn atmosphere breaks when your phone begins ringing, hard vibrations buzzing into the desk. You didn’t think much about Toji calling you, maybe to ask something about Megumi, you silently prayed that the boy was behaving well, not that you would worry normally, your baby was an angel.
“Hi Toji, what’s up?” You answered the call with a normal tone.
“Come to the hospital, it’s urgent!” The unexpected worry in Toji’s voice felt alien to you, he had only ever used that tone of voice once, when you were in the hospital.
Quickly, you sat up in your chair as a cloudy look casted over your eyes, your bottom lip trembled slightly out of fear. “What happened?” Your voice was low, too afraid to speak any louder as thoughts about your song ran frantically around your mind.
“I-I didn’t know,” Toji couldn’t find the right choice of words to speak to you, not when his own mind was filled with anxiety about his son. “He,” Toji took a deep breath to stop the shaking in his voice, “he couldn’t breathe”
Without another thought, you rushed out of your office in a frantic state, startling the employees who passed you as you began to make a run for your car whilst being barefoot. At the moment you couldn’t care, all you could think about was your baby, your sweet precious Megumi.
At the emergency room, the hospital staff were more nervous than you, your erratic behaviour caught the poor nurse off guard. If it wasn’t for Toji recognising your stern voice, the woman would have cried on the spot if you scowled her abilities any longer. The large man whispered a quick apology as he had to practically drag you away from the desk to where he was before.
“Just calm down,” Toji says as you struggled against his tight grip, you cursed his strength. Why did he have to be so strong? It was all futile. Within a few more seconds, you stopped clawing at the hand around your waist and calmed down.
“Tell me what’s happening,” you snapped and took a seat on the nearby bench, the worry began to start eating at your thoughts and stomach at all the endless possibilities of what could have landed Megumi into the hospital.
Toji sat next to you, shoulders dropping as he sighs deeply. The father wasn’t even sure what happened himself. He had left the room for less than a minute. It was so scary. The sight of his own son gasping for air was an image that would haunt Toji.
“The paramedic said it was an anaphylactic shock.”
“You fed him nuts?” The shrill of your scream caused Toji to wince, this was the least he was expecting from you in terms of anger. There would be more to come, Toji was sure of that.
Before you could chew the stupid man out for being so reckless and, essentially, endangering your child’s life, a woman approached the two of you with a clipboard in hand. The doctor called out Toji’s name, gaining both of your attention. The pair of you scrambled onto your feet from sitting on the bench, still in a state of shock, making the two of you act so clumsily.
“Megumi is okay,” a breath of relief is released at the sound of good news like being pulled to shore from almost drowning in the sea.
You gripped onto Toji’s arm as the doctor carried on talking, the tightness of your grip increasing as she continued to talk. Everything she had said went in through one ear and out the other, your brain couldn’t focus on the crucial words coming out of her mouth. You just wanted the doctor to say that you could see Megumi. When she does, you practically sprint to the room, not waiting behind to hear another word.
“If you had brought him even a second later,” the doctor waited till you had left before speaking, she had met many mothers like you, thinking only about the safety of your child. The doctor knew if she were to say the information in front of you, she might have been on the receiving end of your grip. “There would have been different consequences.”
Time moved a little slower for Toji as if the speed of everything became delayed. His body moved on its own, somehow managing to find the room Megumi was residing in. What the doctor had told him would be something the man would take to his grave, you could never find out about it otherwise Toji might never get the chance to see his little boy again. Whilst Toji sat in silence in one of the chairs, you kneeled on the hard cold floor beside Megumi’s bed, caressing the side of his face that wasn’t covered by the oxygen mask that you could reach and touch.
It was a while before another healthcare professional came in, checking up on the little boy again. Toji wanted to reach out and console you, this must’ve been as hard for you as it was for him. Seeing Megumi in the hospital bed was another image Toji couldn’t possibly imagine. His son was a happy child who received endless amounts of love from family who could love him like he deserved. Toji wasn’t sure if he deserved to love his son, there were so many instances when he wanted to leave his job and just run back to you, begging on his knees for forgiveness. Toji would do anything to just spend even a minute with the two of you where you were a real family.
“Looks like the champ is awake!” The student nurse smiled over at you when she noticed the blue eyes looking up at her with curiosity. This wasn’t his dad’s house, Megumi began to think when the lights were a little too harsh and the room was too chilly. The nurse and doctor consolidated with each other before discussing with you about an overnight stay, just to monitor Megumi’s blood pressure.
You couldn’t help but thank the doctor and nurse a hundred times over, making a mental note of their names so they could receive a gift for their hard work, without them you might have been feeling a harsher degree of emotions. Fortunately for you, a heavy weight felt as if it had been lifted up from your body, making you feel much lighter. The ease didn’t stop the sudden clinginess you felt, against Megumi’s protest, you climbed into the bed and led beside him, showering the boy with kisses all over his face. Megumi would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy them.
Your fingers ran through Megumi’s dark ink strands as you led in the hospital bed beside him. The boy was watching a silly cartoon on your phone since there was nothing else for him to do, he would giggle every so often from something the characters would do.
“Mama, I'm hungry,” Megumi says whilst looking up at you. It takes you a moment to come back into the moment and realise what he’s asking from you.
With a small nod of your head, you give your son a tight lipped smile as you lift yourself up from the bed sluggishly. Part of yourself was filled with paranoia and too afraid of getting him food in case it would give him an allergic reaction again, when you knew the chances of that were very slim. You couldn’t help the afraid feeling sitting deep in your stomach like a sunken heavy weight. The floor was cold under your bare feet as you began to make your journey out of the secluded room, your mind was far too preoccupied to even remember to cover your feet with the heels that dig into your skin sharply. You could feel your whole body shake with anxiety between every small step, the ground looked like it was uneven to you, nor could your eyes completely focus under the harsh white light.
It was all too much for you to deal with.
Toji was worried about you. The way you stumbled out of the room alarmed him, the plasters on your feet only heightened this. It was clear that you weren’t of sound mind at the moment so he decided to follow behind you in case something happened to you, after telling Megumi that he would go help you with trying to find a place to get some food from.
“Y/N,” Toji called out. The hospital was quiet since you requested Megumi be moved to a different suite, and it was beginning to become late in the night when most people would be at home sleeping. “Y/N,” Toji says more clearly this time with a determined voice as he holds your upper arm once he caught up with you.
“Are you alright?” He asks calmly, hoping you would be able to give him some kind of response so that he knew you were okay. A blank expression covered your face, making it impossible to read you. Before Toji could say another thing, you were on the hard floor beneath you from your legs no longer being able to hold your weight up.
Droplets of tears escape from your eyes as you hang your head low and into your chin, trying to shorten the spectacle you were making of yourself. Toji fell to his own knees after you as soon as his eyes caught the tears rolling down your face, arms wrapping around your frame to bring you into his embrace. The air wouldn’t reach your lungs as you sobbed in Toji’s arms, just like that day in the hospital years ago when he had to break the devastating news to you about your miscarriage. It broke him as much as it tore your soul apart. All you could think about was the fear of losing Megumi like your first baby - from your own negligence. He never would’ve been in that stupid hospital bed if you had just listened to his requests of staying with you. If only you had listened. The guilt was killing you from the inside like a poison that was taking over your body, rendering you useless. You were an unfit mother. You lost your first child and now you nearly lost your only son. What could be next? Your brother, your grandfather? No one else was to blame other than you - again.
You had never healed from the trauma of losing your baby as it plagued your thoughts for years on end, always lingering in the back of your mind to crawl in at the darkest hours of the night to haunt you. The soul-wrenching words of the doctor assigned to you informing you and Toji of the things to be wary about after your miscarriage were engraved in your mind. Hospitals haven’t been the same since. You always felt on edge ever since the accident, the plain white walls would never be able to have a calming effect on you, they always appeared to be narrowing slowly to trap you. The sharp smell of disinfectant made you dizzy to the point of nausea.
“I can’t lose him too, Toji, I can’t.” Your heart clambered in your chest as all you could feel in the moment was immense amounts of guilt and self-hatred. The shock was catching up with your body, wreaking through every bit of your body to the point you couldn’t feel anything in your limbs apart from a numb sensation.
“He’s okay, princess,” the male muttered lowly against your head but loud enough for you to hear over your cries. “We’re okay.” Toji tried his best to reassure your anxiety and hopefully be able to calm you down from the sudden panicking episode. “We’re all o-okay.” Maybe if Toji says it enough times and speaks it into existence, his statement will be true. The truth was Toji wasn’t okay, nor were you. There was a never-healing scar placed on both of your hearts, linking the pair of you together because no one else understood the emptiness that lingers in your soul at random parts of the day, reminding you that you were missing something that you never had but could have. The pair of you could have been tending to two children instead of one. It was an unspoken presence that was never addressed, left towards the side to collect dust. Toji would be lying if he said he didn’t think about your unborn child, most days he pondered over a life with you and his two children when his head meets the softness of the pillow beneath his head and he couldn’t sleep. Nowadays it was the only way to drift off to sleep for Toji, to replay different scenarios of himself in what used to be your home.
Toji held onto you as tightly as he could manage, pressing himself against you till there was no room between the two of you. There might never be another chance for the dark haired man to comfort you again. In those few moments, Toji felt at peace to hold you in close proximity, even if there were fresh hot tears trailing down his face silently. He was scared too. What would’ve happened if he found Megumi a few minutes later? Toji couldn’t imagine the thought without his stomach churning in disgust.
“Just leave everything to me, we’ll be okay.”
There wasn’t a single thing Satoru wouldn’t do to protect his family from the slightest and smallest threat of danger. If the situation required him to, Gojou would murder multiple souls for his family. Those were the lengths the determined CEO was willing to go to. No one would be able to hurt his loved ones without facing the consequences of his wrath. Toji had been saved by your persistent begging once but now it was a different story, especially since Megumi was involved. The sweet innocent boy deserved more than a father who put his life in danger, whether it was an accident or not, Satoru didn’t care, he knew he had to do absolutely anything to protect you and his nephew. Even if it could jeopardise his relationship with you. What Satoru planned to do was evil, to an extent. Some might agree his actions were justified with the reasoning of your safety but he could practically hear your arguments ringing in his ears. The dull nerves bubbling in the pit of his stomach was a feeling he wasn’t accustomed to, nothing scared him as much as the thought of losing you, his favourite person in the world. Satoru would argue that it is because of his endless love for you that he had chosen his actions.
Quietly, the tall man comes into your home using the spare key you gave him years ago for ‘emergencies,’ he was expecting to be met with loud shouts as soon as he steps one foot into your apartment but the silver haired man found himself to be in a state of shock when you gave him a small pure smile. Maybe he was still dreaming, Satoru thought, or maybe someone had replaced you with a clone that had an inclination to be nice. He wished that were the case.
You were in the kitchen when Satoru greets you, even from a far distance the male could make out the dark circles under your eyes. Of course you struggled to sleep. Satoru knew how anxious hospitals made you. Guilt begins to cloud his thoughts as he reminds himself of the main reason for his visit. Would this make things worse for you? Satoru never wanted to be a burden to you, he saw the detrimental effects of being labelled as the ‘perfect son’ had on you and your self esteem. Then he recollected his thoughts once more. It was better to have your safety guaranteed than for another accident to happen.
The older man takes a breath before speaking to calm down the buzzing nerves, silencing them with an exhale. “We need to talk about Toji.” Watching you with sharp eyes, he noticed the gloomy shift in your eyes at the mention of your ex-husband. “I’m filing that restraining order.”
“What?” If you were holding anything in your hand, it would’ve slipped from your grasp as the heat from your body vanished, and your blood ran cold. The colour in your face disappeared as you stared at your brother with disbelief and horror. You knew of Satoru’s hatred towards Toji but you didn’t realise the scale of it.
Moving closer to you, Satoru holds out his phone with a video playing, it looked like footage from a security camera. The video showed Toji ruffling Megumi’s hair before leaving him in the living room, the little boy sat on the sofa diligently before being approached by Momo. There was no sound on the video so you couldn’t make out what she was saying to him. Momo hands Megumi a small sweet to eat, the distance of the camera was far enough to not capture the label of the food item but Megumi eats it and Momo moves away and out of the frame quickly. Within a matter of seconds the boy is scratching at his throat and Toji is running in, rushing to his son’s side and analysing his features, probably because he noticed Megumi’s scratches. Satoru ends the clip there and takes the phone out of your hand, pocketing it away in his jacket.
The same consistent buzz returns but now Satoru felt it throughout his whole body, not a single bone wasn’t shaking with worry, it was enough to make him feel like throwing up. Satoru was sure of the rightness of his actions, after watching that horrid video on repeat for hours in the early morning, he hadn’t been so sure of anything before in his life. From what he could tell, Satoru assumed you were in shock, you had become scarily still and your gaze fixed on the floor in a dissociative manner, as if you couldn’t trust what your eyes had witnessed.
“I don’t care if you say ‘no’ Y/N,” the eldest Gojou states in a hard tone, immediately snapping you out of the mindless trance you were in.
You couldn’t shake off the horror you felt but the rational side of your mind, that was still somehow working, acted quick, trying to think of the best thing to do to stop your brother. Deep down you knew you would never be able to change Satoru’s stubborn mind, once his mind was set on something he must have it, there was no other possibility. “I-I can’t do that to h-him. P-please don’t,” you dropped down onto your knees to beg, grasping onto one of Satoru’s hands between your own as your mind couldn’t think about what else to do in the moment, squeezing it as tightly as you could manage, hoping your brother would change his mind. “It was an a-accident, he d-didn’t mean t-to.”
“You lost your first child because of an accident he caused,” Satoru reminded you coldly, he didn’t bother looking at you as he spoke coldly but he could clearly envision the look of affliction, the freshness of the hot tears running down your face, “you could’ve lost Megumi.”
“Please!” You pleaded again with a cry wracking through your whole body, “don’t d-do this.”
“One day…” Satoru still didn’t look at you, the most embarrassing state a Gojou could be in, on their knees begging with everything in themselves, you should be ashamed of yourself, Satoru thought maliciously. Using his free hand, Satoru frees himself from your aching grip and leaves you to cry in the kitchen, after saying, “Y/N, you’ll thank me.”
Abruptly, your sleep was disturbed as your tired body jolted awake in response to the constant sounds of banging against the wood of the door to your apartment. Your heart was racing as the anticipation for another sequence of banging to continue. The sudden stop of the harsh sound didn’t bring you any ease as you sat up in your bed. You considered the possibility of your mind playing tricks on you and there was no one even at the door. Before making a move to slip back into the comfort of your sheets and try to let sleep take over, your phone screen lights up brightly on your bedside table and buzzes rhythmically to the fast-paced melodic ringtone you set. It took a second for your eyes to adjust to the sudden illumination but from the photo set for the contact you could see that it was Toji calling you, at two in the morning. Without even thinking, you pick up his call, later you would blame your groggy state for doing such an action when you knew nothing good would come from answering your ex-husband’s phone call in the early hours of the day when most people would be sleeping. Somehow you possessed the capability of being able to ignore the voice in your head telling you to turn the phone off and remind yourself of the pain you would cause to the other man. You didn’t deserve a nice conversation with Toji, not when your brother planned to snatch his son away from him.
“Hey princess,” you hear Toji say whilst picking up on the slight slurring of his words, you knew he was drunk from the slow way he spoke and the low tone. “Could you open the door for me?”
A realisation that it was Toji who had been banging on your door a few minutes earlier dawns upon you. As quietly as possible, you try to get out of your bed without disrupting Megumi’s sleep, thankfully the little boy was a heavy sleeper and could manage to sleep through anything. Your steps to the door are light and quick, successfully navigating yourself around the pitch black apartment, the only source of low light being the dim glow of the moon shining from one of the windows with undrawn curtains. You stop before the door. The only thing separating Toji from you. Your eyes fixated upon the object, imagining how the dark haired male would look on the other side. His shirt was probably untucked and his hair must have been a mess from the way he would constantly run his fingers through the strands.
“It’s late Toji, you should go home-“ you whisper into your phone in the quietest tone you could manage, hoping that your voice was distinct enough to be heard through the phone.
“I miss you so much,” Toji exhales as he presses his forehead to the solid door, the feeling in his legs slowly begins to cease, no longer being able to hold himself up from complete exhaustion. The hard alcoholic drinks became his best friend earlier in the day but now they were a foe, slowing his thoughts and mobility. “Can’t you love me again?” Toji asks honestly, a lump formed in his throat when he heard the sharp intake of breath from your side of the phone. It hurt. He never understood why you couldn’t come back to him again, you had loved him once before, you could love him again. Right? He was still the same person from before, the same brutish man you would smile at with a bright grin he loved with his whole existence. “All… all I think about is you.” It was the truth, even if you would never believe him, Toji knew that the only person he could ever love would be you, he had opened his heart up to you in ways he can’t with others. The tears welled up in the male’s eyes as he closed them, trying to picture your smile, even in an intoxicated state, Toji’s mind was still able to remember you perfectly. “I feel like dying, it hurts so fucking much princess.”
Your legs were shaking like a leaf, you sat yourself on the cold floor, back pressed up against the door as you listened and processed every word that Toji spoke. The cogs in your brain turned slowly as you tried to hold yourself back from opening the door to the very man who was no longer allowed to be so close to you. The pain in his voice was evident and enough for you to succumb. “You can’t be here,” is the only thing you manage to say amongst the million other thoughts rushing across your mind. No matter how much Toji hurt you, you would never be able to hurt him back, not because you were a good person but because Toji meant too much to you, even now after all the years the pair of you had spent apart, that it was scary. You loved him once with your whole existence. It was hard to ignore that fact.
“Open the door,” all of a sudden, the tone of his voice becomes more sinister as a silence develops, you were afraid of saying something you didn’t mean. “I said,” the doorknob above you begins to rattle and shake in its place harshly from Toji’s futile attempt, “open the fucking door, Y/N!”
A small scream escapes from you in fear when a loud vigorous blow is struck to the object you were lent on. Immediately, you bring your hand to cover your mouth in order to muffle anything else so Megumi wouldn’t wake up. You were praying that the commotion doesn’t stir him awake.
“How could you?” The anger was still present in his loud voice, you could hear him from the other side of the door as clear as day, the call didn’t need to continue. “A fucking restraining order?!” Another punch is thrown against the pitiful door out of pure rage.
Quietly, you sob into your hand, the sound of Toji’s pained voice struck something within you. It was because of you that he would never be able to see his son again. You were the cause of the pain. The very thing you never wanted to do to Toji, you ended up doing in the end.
“Open the fucking door, you bitch!”
Just as Toji’s reddened fist was about to collide with your door again, a tight grip catches his arm in the action, never making contact with it. Toji could only see red when he turned his view, ready to unleash his frustration on the person physically holding him back, only to be met with the face of the man he hated most. Nanami.
“Leave or I will call security,” Nanami states in a low, cold tone. The tiredness on his face, probably from being awaking at the commotion occurring outside his home, didn’t undermine the serious demeanour of the blond.
Toji scoffs with annoyance as he chooses to ignore Nanami and shrugs his tight grip off of Toji’s arm. Why did you get a happy ending when his heart felt like it was being torn apart in so many different directions? It wasn’t fair. Why him? Why Nanami? Couldn’t Choso suffice? It just had to be the man who lived across the hall, who was in your grandfather’s good graces.
“I will never forgive you,” Toji directs his anger back towards you, his voice booming through the medium between the two of you, scratching against the back of his throat painfully. He made sure to project his voice to get his message across, to release all the anger of the day. Out of everyone in the world, Toji never expected you to betray him, it didn’t feel real. Maybe it wasn’t, maybe the alcohol he drank after seeing the papers delivered to his home was a manifestation of his guilt. But the sound of your trembling voice woke the dark haired male, it sobered him up within an instant. It was all real and fucked up. Toji would never forgive you for the sharp knife you stabbed into his back.
You sit by the door and sob till your eyes could no longer produce anymore tears to dampen your face. Time slows down at an unbearable rate as you couldn’t find the strength to move, your body frozen still against the door like ice. In your mind, you tried telling yourself that it wasn’t entirely your fault, the situation was too complex for it to be blamed on a singular person. However at the end of the day, it was your name signed on the end of paper, stating Toji could no longer be in the same room as you and Megumi anymore, not anyone else’s. So it was your fault, as you told yourself.
“Mama?” Megumi felt disoriented when he woke up to the sound of crying. The darkness of your home made him scared with every step he took in his journey to find you. “A-are you okay?” Megumi stops in his tracks and lets out a gasp at the sight of you sobbing heavily. He had never seen you cry so hard before, only ever a tear or two at a sad animated movie. Megumi ran as fast as his small legs would let him.
“What’s wrong?” He asked again with more worry as you wouldn’t even lift your head for Megumi to look at you. A tightness in his chest began to constrict with every passing second as you continued to cry into your knees. The little boy took your phone out of your hands and typed in the four numbered passcode before quickly dialling his uncle’s number. Megumi was scared, this wasn’t like you, you would never cry in front of him. The phone rings and rings before Megumi presses the red circle and just waits. He waits patiently for you to finally look at him with a gleaming smile and tell him ‘everything is okay.’ Except it isn’t. Megumi knows something isn’t okay and he needs someone else, an adult, to help you.
Satoru doesn’t think twice about rushing to your apartment with Getou, breaking nearly every single traffic law there is in order to reach your side in the smallest amount of time. He was thankful to his parents for once, for blessing him with tall genes which meant Satoru could take longer strides until he stood in front of your apartment door. For a second time in a day, he had to use the emergency key to unlock the door in order to get into your home, quivering fingers fumbling around trying to find the right one to slot into the keyhole.
“Y/N?” Satoru didn’t expect to find you right in front of the door, on the floor with Megumi hunched over your form, begging for you to respond to him. He couldn’t help but imagine what horrid things could have happened for you to end up like that. “Suguru, pick her up,” Satoru instructs his best friend as the white haired man pulls Megumi away from you and into his own arms.
“Mama!” Megumi cried for you once more before Satoru began trying to soothe his worries. The boy thrashed around in his uncle’s grip, doing anything he could to escape the hands pressing his small body against Satoru’s. “Let me go!”
Meanwhile, Suguru felt his heart sink as he crouched down to the floor beside you, different ideas of what could have occurred flooded into his mind, each possibility worse than the next. “Hey Y/N,” his voice is soft and calm amongst Megumi’s screams for you, “I’m going to pick you up and take you to the car,” Suguru felt the need to confirm what actions he planned to do so he wouldn’t cause you unnecessary stress. The male felt thankful for typing his hair up so it was out of the way, it made the job of lifting you up from the floor, one arm around your shoulders and the other hooked under the bend of your knees, so much easier. He felt your hand clutch onto the thick material of his jumper, it eased the tension he felt slightly. Suguru stays silent as he holds you tightly, hoping it was enough to comfort you, as he waits for the elevator to arrive. Satoru had already taken Megumi as quickly as he could. When he does get to the car, Suguru is careful to place you down gently into the back seat before climbing in next to you. Not a sound came out of you, not even a small sigh; you had finally gone to sleep.
~Tags. Sexual Theme, Smut, Blood, Miscarriage, Ran Haitani, Angst, Non-con, Loss of Virginity, grammatical errors, typos.
~wc. 0.6
~ a/n. Kinda short chapter, i plan to end this with more than 1.0k words but since i ended it quickly, i’ll let it be.
Masterlist ~ Chapter Two
“You–let me go, we’re divorced!” you shouted while running locks both of your hands together.
“You forgot that I haven't signed that paper, as your husband I should use my privilege. You forgot what you did 2 years ago, didn’t you?”
“No, nothing happened 2 years ago, that was a mistake. I didn’t touch you, please, let me go…let’s forget about what happened and about this marriage, let’s forget each other”
He then started kissing you, from your lips to different parts of your body. From kissing to sex…your cunt is so good and heavenly that he didn’t even notice it was your first time, nothing really happened 2 years ago.
— Ran’s Pov —
Bloodstain. From that moment i realized that she didn’t have sex with me 2 years ago, i was wrong, i forced her, it was her first time.
“I told you, you and me never happened” she grabbed the blanket and ran away from me.
My phone rang and I immediately picked it up. The one who’s calling is the woman i love, i'm not sure if this is love but everything just feels wrong when she’s not around, i met her 1 year ago. Kinda shame I didn't meet her before I married my current wife who’s good at nothing.
“Hi baby!” I greeted her with a joyful tone as if nothing’s wrong.
“Have you told her?” that’s the first sentence that escaped her mouth instead of greeting me hi.
“No, I haven't, I'll tell her tomorrow. I–”
“No need, i’ll talk to her tomorrow, since i want to tell her something too, bye!”
The morning after that accident, you were left alone, again. In this big villa you never dreamed of. Waking up with you and just your poor self. You must be so lonely that no one even cared for you and your fragile body. You heard your phone buzz and you picked up the phone, it’s an unknown number.
“Is this y/n?”
“Yes, may I know who you are?”
“It’s me eloise, Ran’s one and only”
“Do you need something?” at that moment you were so calm, you were not sad nor angry, it’s more like happiness. A different kind of happiness, the happiness of freedom.
“Can we meet up at Shibuya coffee house?”
“Yeah ,sure. I don’t mind”.
You entered the coffee house with a neutral face. you spotted his lover, eloise. Since ran introduce eloise to you, you’ve lost faith on him, it’s really not introduce it’s more like him fucking a girl on his home, where you live too. As you sit she starts talking like mad crazy and doesn’t even respect you as a human, you don’t need to be respected as a legal wife but instead you want to be respected as a human you are.
“As you know you’re not fit enough to be ran’s wife, he’s so much better for you” you already know that, he’s an haitani afterall, nevertheless. You know ran and his younger brother for many years now.
“I forgot to tell you who i am. I’m eloise, ran’s secretary–” she added but you interrupted with the words “sorry but why did you call me here?”
“I’m here to know when do you plan on divorcing ran?”
“I'm sorry ms. eloise but i’ve been with ran for years and according to what i see…you’re not ran’s typ–” you were shut up by her slap with her other hands connected with your right arm, she humiliate you in front of many people and you can’t accept that…she will never gain your respect. So you pushed her hands off and it wasn’t even that powerful but now she’s on the floor, her pink bodycon dress covered with blood…which shocked you.
would you be able to give a quick summary of your other series? if only you have time🥺🤲 I don’t mind any spoilers
remember, forever.
— yn is stuck in an unrequited love with tobio that has rooted since middle school. after moving overseas with her family, she comes back to japan and ended up having a one night stand with him, but he later reveals that he already has a girlfriend that he cheated on with her. yn ends up pregnant with his child, he breaks up with his gf but yn is still plagued with the guilt of having to ruin their relationship. the series ends with yn’s miscarriage and her leaving tobio for good, but he searched for her again after 2 years and asked her to restart/get married.
love, always.
— yn has suffered amnesia due to a car accident and loses all memories of oikawa who moved to argentina for a few years. he comes back to find out that yn is now dating iwaizumi, and keeps up with the act of never having met yn before. however, over the course of his reappearance in yn’s life, she slowly regains her memories of him and decided to continue where they left off. unfortunately, a happy ending was far fetched because yn dies in the end. a depressed oikawa had to continue his life as a widower for a few years, until he decided to commit suicide and be with her again.
underground fight club.
— yn is an intelligence agent who is working undercover together with swat officer kageyama to infiltrate the fight club where a suspect dealing with an illicit gun selling is hiding. her initial suspect is iwaizumi, who is notorious in the fight club for being an undefeated fighter. she is caught in the middle choosing between her forbidden relationship with iwaizumi and her job as an intel agent, later forced to pick her career over a betrayed iwaizumi who had been aware all along that she was faking her identity. in the end, iwaizumi got temporarily detained and had to suffer with his trauma from the cops, but realized that yn was genuinely in love with him despite being undercover. they managed to fall back into each other’s arms, promising a new life ahead of them with no more secrets and lies in between.
wastelands.
— in a zombie infested world, five young adults go through a dangerous journey of finding a safe home. yn has been in love with suna since high school and has found herself in a beneficial relationship with him amidst the stress and lack of human contact that the apocalypse has caused. this all takes a turn when suna’s girlfriend, who was initially thought to be dead, is actually alive and has immediately reclaimed their relationship. devastated with her loneliness, yn has decided to travel alone in search for her brother, unaware that a distraught suna has followed her after realizing sophia’s deceitful personality. eventually, the two find each other again and admitted their desire to never leave one another. they also reunited with the group as they head to their final destination, but everything didn’t go as planned when suna got infected and died while saving yn.
hi it’s paragraph anon! idk if you remember me but its been a minute and i wanted to say first
1) welcome back!!! i hope you’re okay!
2) just finished all of permanent mark and it is actually one of my favorite fics of all time (and honestly all i do is read fanfiction 💀)
3) the ending fits so well for the series and everything was very logical in terms of the plot and the characters; it was extremely realistic which is why i really fell in love with the series! i liked seeing the mom get a redemption arc since i was side-eying her the whole time and that you left the ending as an open ending and not pairing the reader with anyone afterwards bc all she really needed was platonic support and therapy. the m-word scene was really heartbreaking but i was kind of having mixed feelings about it since it’s a lot on your psyche but at the same time she would have brought a child into a dysfunctional situation without making sure she is emotionally and mentally mature enough to take care of another human
overall, thank you so much for choosing to continue permanent mark even though it was a lot that went down 💗
eat a snack, drink water, and i hope to hear from you soon
- paragraph anon
HIII paragraph anon, i missed youuuu !! im glad you enjoyed reading pm, the loss part was hard for me to write bc i know that it's really painful esp. for someone who truly wanted it. the dream scene was like a moment of bliss for yn before she found out about the truth and i think that made it more painful for her :(( and yeah, the reason why i opted for that ending was bc she went through a lot and it wouldn't be healthy. even if they could build the relationship from the ground up, it wouldn't be too sturdy bc there'd be underlying trauma and issues that need to be fixed first. i really appreciate this, paragraph anon🥺thank you sooo much for your support <33 take care !!
Warnings: this is angst and nothing else, mentions of reader’s death, miscarriage, Japanese funeral, introduction of [Y/N]’s family (no names), Ushijima’s bitch of a mother
The week after your suicide was the worst.
The day after is when Ushijima was informed by your distressed father, asking if he had heard the news. With his now-wife in the kitchen, making him breakfast, he listened to your father hold back his cries as he broke the news. Your funeral would be held soon, but family matters came first, so the wake would be held in the next two days. When his wife asked him what was the matter, he told her nothing. It was no longer his business. He left you hurt and broken, but this was not his place anymore. The invitation he received would not be used.
The next day was when he decided he would be attending your wake. A phone call from Tendō had him changing his decision, his sad voice asking if Ushijima can give the condolences he could not. Of course Ushijima would decide to go after that, giving your family a hefty amount of money and telling them it was his and Tendō’s condolence money. A trip to Japan suddenly was hard for Tendō, so hopefully your family would understand.
His wife seemed displeased at this event he’d be going to, but she said no more. He knew what she thought. She thought he wasn’t over you. Looking at her across the dinner table, he couldn’t find himself to blame her. The off-the-shoulder dress she adorned showed off her flawless skin — not a single bruise, hickey, or bond along it. After all, his mother was never bonded to his father, why would he force himself to bond to her?
But he bonded you.
He wonders if deep down inside, he did want to be with you. It would’ve never worked out, he tells himself when that thought flickers in his mind. A small candle he quickly snuffs out as soon as it’s lit, not wanting the flame to burn to bright nor too hot.
The day had finally arrived. Other Shiratorizawa alumni and peers of yours attended. A wake was held at your family’s house, to which he was also there. It was hard to ignore, but he felt out of place while people had their heads in their hands and continued to sob until tears stopped flowing. He felt sad, he shed a few tears, but not as much. Some friends of yours would look at him, glaring before looking back towards the altar.
Upon the altar, surrounded by flowers, especially your favorite, sat a picture of you. It looked like you — smiling joyfully as you held up a peace sign. In the back was the rest of the Shiratorizawa’s VBC. The picture was from last year, when he was still attending the school. You were only a second year, but you were the best manager for the team, even if they lost to Karasuno. A smile was plastered on your face, placed so freely and easily as if it was meant to never leave. Thinking back to when you left his house, you weren’t smiling.
That didn’t sit right with him.
When it was his time to be given a gift from the family members, your mother stopped him. “I’m glad you came. I’m sure she’s glad you came, too,” she said through her tears, a forced smile on her face. Ushijima wipes the tears away, before taking the gifts from her hands.
“I hope so, but I doubt it. Satori also gives his condolences. I know he’d be here if he wasn’t so far away,” he says, bowing. She thanks him and he leaves, but a friend of yours stops him before he can go too far.
“It’s your fault, you know. She wouldn’t be dead if you hadn’t left her,” they sneered, glaring at him despite the tears in their eyes and wavering lips. He sighs, but doesn’t dispute their claim. It isn’t his place to tell them where the blame lies. The blame lies in someone, whether that be him, them, your parents, society, or even you — it’s not up to him to tell them any different.
By the time Ushijima has made it to his car, his phone buzzes. From the hospital his wife goes to for checkups, he notes. Taking the call, he listens to the receptionist on the other end of the call.
“I’m sorry to inform you this way, sir, but your wife has suffered from a miscarriage,” she says. Ushijima feels his heartbeat increase as he feels his chest tighten. He won’t lie to himself and say he loves his wife — an arrangement forced by his mother with no room for love to bloom. However, the news of her miscarriage is news he didn’t expect or want to hear.
“Where...” he gulps, trying to stabilize his breathing. “Where is she?”
“She’s at the hospital. She won’t be able to leave for the next day or so, depending if she feels better and nothing is wrong with her. We’ll keep her overnight to check.”
“Thank you. I’ll come to get her tomorrow, then,” he ends the call there. He doesn’t question how she got there, if he should go, or if he should just sit in his car and watch people leave your wake. Sitting in his car doing exactly that, he decides going home to take in everything would be best.
Your funeral begins the next day at noon, Ushijima in attendance. With nobody at home, he feels as if this is a funeral for you and his miscarried child. He witnesses your family pay a hefty amount of money to give you a more elaborate name, most likely from the condolence money he offered to them. He thinks it’s fitting, given he didn’t do much when you were alive; in death, you’d benefit from his existence.
When the priest finishes the ceremony, the guests are able to see you upon your casket bed. Your mother weeps at the coffin, holding your favorite flowers to her chest while your father cries silently, rubbing his wife’s back. It’s a pitiful scene, but it does well to have tears springing into everyone’s eyes. Ushijima doesn’t have your favorite flowers, but rather a purple hyacinths and asphodel bouquet to place beside you. His place of choice? Above your heart, next to the bond he created. Despite the makeup and the kimono, he knows it’s there. He can sense it.
His sorrow comes from the lack of a beat behind the bond.
Once the funeral has come to a close, with your coffin being taken to the crematorium and your family moving to go follow, everyone is dismissed. However, your friend from before stops him before he can retreat to his car. “May I help you?”
“I saw the flowers you placed around her head. You do have a heart, apparently,” they scoffed, before moving to get off his car. A quick glance shows they didn’t damage it. “You shouldn’t have even been here. I wish she had never even met you and I regret telling her about the volleyball manager position.”
Ushijima doesn’t say a word back, but he does bow respectfully. They leave without looking back, letting him peacefully get into his car. He takes a couple of minutes to himself, knowing he has to go retrieve his wife from her hospital stay.
The drive home from the hospital was brutal. Silence hung in the air, Ushijima still dressed from when he attended your funeral. His wife sat in the passenger seat, yet had her eyes trained on the window and didn’t glance at him even once. He didn’t tell her he’d be going to your funeral as well, which might be why she’s upset, but he didn’t push an issue.
Arriving at home, she finally opened her mouth. “Your mother will be picking me up soon. She said she’ll take care of me while I properly recover.”
Once more, Ushijima says nothing. She scoffs, leaving the car to get her things. He doesn’t hurry, instead dragging his feet as he enters the house. It’s big and spacious, easy to feel alone in. When a knock resounds through the front room, Ushijima answers it to see his mother, the constant frown on her face as she looks up at him.
“I’ve come to get Mai.” Quick and to the point, as usual. She enters when he allows it, with his wife coming into the room shortly after. With barely any acknowledgement to his presence, his mother guides his wife out, rubbing her shoulder as she sniffles and spills some tears.
A click behind the door shutting really lets the silence settle. Ushijima trudges up to his bedroom, loosening his tie and shedding his jacket along the way. He changes into some more comfortable clothes, sitting on his edge of the bed while scrolling through the text messages Tendō has sent him throughout the day. Nothing of importance, but some of them do make him smile as it lights up the darkness life has forced upon him.
One of the messages is an old picture, one of Tendō and you throwing up a peace sign while smiling widely. Your eyes are shut while you grin, absolutely full of joy. With nobody around to witness his confession, nor the tears plinking against his phone screen, he doesn’t feel the need to snuff out the candle again. He doesn’t shove his feelings deep inside.
“I’m sorry, [Y/N]. I shouldn’t have let you go and I should have been honest. I truly do love you. I regret not standing up to my mother. I regret not having the strength to confront my mistake. But most of all,” he wipes a few tears, zooming in on your smiling face, a sorrowful smile on his face to mirror yours.
“I regret letting you leave that day.”
Author’s Note: This is the direct sequel to Regrets ; the flowers mentioned (purple hyacinths and asphodels) both represent a similar meaning — regret and “I’m sorry”, which I thought was fitting to the original work, as well as the other piece I’m working on. However, purple hyacinths also express the bearer’s sorrow and asks for forgiveness, which is where the title comes from for this piece.
Is there a reason why MC only has Emil? Like, after one kid did Leif finally leave them alone?
Nope, Leif did try but there are two routes that Im planning for it.
Miscarriage or Murder.
Mc lost the babies aka miscarriage.
Mc murdered their babies after birth.
Though im not aure if these should be routes because it works either way if I do one but its interesting and I do plan on it having its own things and advantages / disadvantages
