synopsis: she was always the reckless one. the black sheep—and he was her sister’s perfect husband. until one night turned into a habit. and now, she’s not just stealing kisses. she’s after everything her sister treasures most.
notes: a month of hiatus, and idk if this is a good fic for a comeback. as usual, lmk ur thoughts! i fucking love unhinged ran haitani. and as always, the apperance is bonten ran haitani—cause he’s chef’s kiss MWA <3
✦ . ⁺ . ✦ . ⁺ . ✦
it was past midnight when ran haitani woke up, the buzz of sleep fading as he stared at the ceiling. the room was quiet—his wife curled up beside him, breathing steady, peaceful.
it was his birthday.
earlier, she’d cooked dinner like she always did, even baked a cake for him. sweet, thoughtful, soft. the kind of wife who folded his laundry and left notes in his lunchbox. ran loves her. really, he does.
but sometimes… he misses the thrill of it all.
the chaos. the mess. the wildness.
he dragged himself out of bed and padded down the stairs, sighing as he reached the kitchen. opening the fridge, he grabbed a beer and leaned against the counter.
this was the life he chose. he knew that. but god, some nights it felt suffocating.
he took a slow sip, then stilled at the sound of shuffling—unsteady footsteps coming from the front.
he turned his head just as the lights flicked on.
y/n.
drunk. maybe even high. stumbling across the living room like her legs barely remembered how to walk.
ran’s jaw tensed as he watched her make her way to the staircase, pausing halfway, touching her head with a quiet curse.
“fuck…” she muttered, wincing.
he sighed. again with this.
he crossed the room and reached out. “here. let me help you.”
y/n didn’t argue. she slung her arm around his neck without hesitation, his hand firm around her waist as he guided her upstairs. her body was warm. too warm. pressed up against him like she had no idea what boundaries were—or maybe she did, and just didn’t care.
when they reached her room, ran opened the door and gently laid her down on the bed.
he stayed for a moment. just sat there, breathing, watching.
she was out of it—hair messy, eyes heavy-lidded, skin glowing under the soft light. she looked exactly like the kind of girls he used to chase before his life got quiet.
and she was wearing next to nothing.
tiny shorts. a crop top that barely covered anything.
and then—she started pulling it off.
his throat went dry.
the thin top hit the floor, leaving her in a laced bra that hugged her breasts too perfectly. his eyes dragged over her body, heat coiling low in his stomach.
his cock pressed against his sweats, painfully hard. he palmed it, trying to get a grip.
he shouldn’t want this. not her. not like this.
but y/n…
she was the kind of girl any man would want. beautiful. bold. sinfully tempting.
and ran haitani was no exception.
he needed to take care of the problem.
ran looked down at the bulge pressing tight against his sweats, throbbing with every breath he took. just a taste. that’s all. not like he was gonna fuck her.
just a taste.
that wouldn’t count as betrayal, right?
he slowly leaned forward, careful not to wake her—like she wasn’t already passed out in front of him, drunk and vulnerable, dressed in next to nothing.
he reached for her shorts, slowly unzipping them, tugging them down her thighs.
just a taste. that’s it. he swore. he was gonna leave after this.
her panties were next. he pulled them to the side and pressed his tongue against her cunt.
nothing.
she didn’t react at first. eyes still closed.
so he did it again.
again.
until he was licking her like he needed it to survive—like she was the only thing that could bring him back to life.
“ugh…”
that small sound—barely audible—was enough for ran to lose whatever restraint he had left.
he peeled the panties off completely, grabbed her thighs, and pulled her close to his face.
he devoured her.
licking, sucking, moaning into her cunt like he’d forgotten everything else in the world.
his tongue fucked her deep, messy and unrelenting. her body trembled, a moaning mess under him.
and then—
y/n’s eyes fluttered open.
she saw him. between her legs. ran haitani. her sister’s husband.
fuck, it turned her on even more.
finally. finally, something of her sister’s she could take.
the perfect, sweet sister everyone adored. the one who always did everything right. while she was the mess. the disappointment. the girl no one wanted around.
but right now? right now, she had the one thing that mattered most.
her sister’s husband.
maybe they were right. maybe she was evil.
fine. let her be.
she grabbed a fistful of ran’s hair and grinded herself on his mouth, moaning loud, needy, desperate.
“fuck!!”
he pulled away and quickly leaned over her, covering her mouth with his hand.
“shh…” he hissed. “you have to be quiet or we’re gonna stop this.”
he pulled his hand back—but y/n pushed it away without hesitation, glaring at him—defiant.
“i don’t fucking care. i want her to hear how good you are fucking me.”
his cock twitched at her words.
drunk. high. but not stupid.
she knew exactly what she was doing.
she wanted this. wanted him. wanted to ruin everything.
ran stared at her, eyes dark. “you’re evil.”
“and you like evil girls,” y/n smirked. “stop pretending to be a good fucking husband. it doesn’t suit you.”
before he could speak, she grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him—hungry, raw, reckless.
it was messy. spit and moans and teeth clashing.
god, this was what he missed.
not gentle touches or quiet, careful sex.
this.
she pulled away, breathless, and ran slid his hand back between her legs. his fingers slipped inside her with ease—two of them, fast and deep.
“fuck—” y/n moaned, her back arching.
ran pressed his lips to her neck, sucking, licking, biting like he couldn’t get enough of her skin.
she was coming undone beneath him, high and overstimulated.
“ran—shit—i’m cumming—”
“yes!! yes!!” she cried out, gripping his shoulders as her body tightened, shaking through her orgasm.
he pulled his fingers out and brought them to his lips, sucking her off of them while staring her down.
y/n bit her lip, cheeks flushed.
how the hell did he end up with someone like her sister?
she sat up and pulled him into another kiss, grinding against him as she climbed into his lap.
his hands gripped her waist, guiding her hips as they moved in sync, all heat and tension and desperation.
it was obsession—burning hot and all-consuming.
they kissed like they needed each other to breathe.
y/n pulled back, lips swollen, and whispered, “happy birthday, ran.”
he chuckled darkly, still holding her tight. “thought you forgot.”
she rolled her eyes. “i knew my sister would make some lovey-dovey shit for you tonight. i had to leave the house for a while.”
then she leaned close, lips brushing his ear.
“i’ll show you what a real birthday present looks like.”
she palmed his cock through his sweats, slow and teasing, watching it twitch under her touch.
then—smooth, bold—y/n pulled his pants down. his cock sprang free, thick and heavy, and she couldn’t help but lick her lips.
she yanked his shirt off next, and god—those tattoos, that lean muscle, the way he looked like sin wrapped in skin.
he should’ve never been with her sister. he belonged with someone like her.
ran couldn’t even think straight anymore. it’s been too long since he felt something this good.
he stood abruptly, grabbing her hair and forcing her onto her knees like it was second nature.
no warning.
he shoved his cock into her mouth with a low groan, one hand tangled in her hair, the other braced on his hip.
“fuck…”
her mouth was hot, wet, perfect—and the way she sucked him? like she was born for this.
like she’d done it a hundred times just for him.
ran lost control fast, his hips starting to move on their own, fucking her mouth with zero shame.
“such a fucking slut,” he growled, slapping her cheek lightly, eyes dark. “letting me use your mouth like this, huh?”
“you’re really the opposite of your sister.”
he gave her hair another tug, making her look up at him with teary eyes and ruined makeup.
“gonna fuck you every day now,” he said through gritted teeth. “gonna ruin this filthy mouth every time i need to get off.”
her life had already been a mess before this. y/n had been crashing at their place ever since she got kicked out of her parents’ house—drinking, partying, failing classes while her sister played the perfect role: quiet, graceful, top of her class, married right after college.
they were two years apart. but a world of difference.
and now, y/n was on her knees in the house her sister gave her—getting fucked in the mouth by the same man her sister loved.
and ran?
maybe their parents were right about him all along.
he was still the reckless bastard he used to be. no amount of marriage or clean slates could change that.
and it showed in the way he shoved his cock down y/n’s throat over and over again, spit and precum dripping down her chin, smearing across her chest.
her makeup was wrecked. but to ran, she looked like a fucking dream.
a dirty, dangerous dream he didn’t want to wake up from.
he spit on her. rubbed his cock across her cheeks. watched her tongue follow his every move like a desperate little thing.
“gonna cum,” he warned, voice hoarse.
he pulled out, gripped the base of his cock, and pumped it while she pressed her tits together, tongue out, ready to take it.
“fuck…” he muttered under his breath.
she looked too sexy—like a fucking pornstar in lingerie.
he came hard.
white streaks hit her face, her tongue, even her bra-covered tits.
but y/n wasn’t done.
she fondled her chest, sliding his cock between her soft breasts, using the push of her bra to squeeze them together.
ran’s head fell back. overstimulated. shivering.
“fuck this girl,” he thought.
it was too much.
he pulled away and laughed breathlessly, shaking his head. “enough,” he muttered. “you’re too fucking naughty.”
he leaned down and kissed her forehead while she was still on her knees.
“gonna go back to my room now. thanks for the present, baby.”
he turned to grab his pants—telling himself they didn’t actually fuck.
just got each other off. nothing more. it’s not cheating if there’s no sex, right?
but—
“we’re not done yet.”
her voice was soft. almost innocent.
ran turned back to her slowly.
“please, ran…” she stood up, eyes wide, playing the part of the sweet little sister.
“i need you.”
her hand slid down, guiding his to her soaked pussy.
“need you inside me. just a quick one…”
lies.
because it’s been nearly an hour now.
he’s balls-deep inside her, pounding her from behind while his wife—her sister—is asleep in the next room.
“ran… so good…”
she’s barely able to speak, voice cracking between gasps and moans.
face down, ass up.
his hand pressing her head into the mattress, her ass red and stinging from all the slaps.
wet, lewd noises filling the room with every thrust.
no shame.
no guilt.
just filth.
and it feels so fucking right.
one… two… even three rounds weren’t enough. they were still going at it like animals. every position. every angle. as if they’d been starving for each other for years.
right now, y/n was on top of ran, riding him like she owned him. her hips rolled slow and deep, greedy for every inch. ran groaned beneath her, hands all over her—palming her tits, fingers digging into her ass, lips dragging kisses down her neck.
“get off, y/n,” he warned, his voice strained. “i’m gonna cum—fuck.”
he tapped her thighs, trying to slow her down, but she only rolled her eyes at him.
stubborn little brat.
ran chuckled, breathless, trying to catch her mouth in a kiss, but y/n had other plans. she was pumping his cock with her hand, teasing him, getting him right to the edge—and the second she felt his body start to shudder, she slammed herself back down onto him.
“fuck—y/n,” ran growled, head falling back.
his hips bucked up on instinct, thrusting into her heat as he came inside her—no stopping it now. the way she clenched around him made his vision blur. the grip he had on her waist was bruising, but she loved it. she bounced through his orgasm, chasing her own, and within seconds, she was crying out too, cunt fluttering around his cock.
ran collapsed into her chest, sweaty and out of breath, his head resting against her shoulder while her arms wrapped around him.
she stroked his purple hair lazily, smirking like she just won the biggest prize of her life.
they stayed like that for a moment, basking in the filth and the afterglow.
“fuck, your parents were really right about you, huh?” ran muttered against her skin, still trying to breathe. “you’re a bad fucking girl.”
“just living up to their expectations,” y/n replied with a cocky grin, her eyes locked on his plump, kiss-bruised lips.
and because she couldn’t help herself, she leaned in and kissed him again—sloppy, slow, like they hadn’t just broken every boundary that existed.
after a few more minutes of making out, y/n finally pulled off of him and sat beside him on the bed, her thighs sticky with his cum.
“you got a cigarette?” ran asked, voice gravelly.
“mhm,” she nodded.
she leaned over to grab one from the bedside table, tossing him a lighter too. her tits swung slightly with the movement, and ran’s eyes followed them like he was hypnotized.
“mind if i smoke here?” he asked, already bringing the cigarette to his lips.
“i smoke here all the time. no big deal.”
she lit it for him, then dropped the lighter back on the table.
ran took a long drag, exhaled slow. it’s been so long since he last smoked. he quit when he got serious with his wife. but old habits die hard, and tonight, everything came back with a vengeance.
y/n climbed back into bed and laid her head on his chest, arms curling around his waist.
he was a little thrown off by the sudden clinginess. this was different. this was softer.
but still, he didn’t push her away.
instead, he gently brushed the hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear like he cared. and maybe he did. maybe just a little.
he smoked in silence, her holding onto him like he was hers.
and in her head, that’s exactly what he was.
she’d wanted him first. way back when she was a freshman, and he was a junior. they ran in the same circles. she saw him before her sister ever did. it was her who crushed on him first. it was her who wanted him. it was supposed to be her.
so now, it only made sense that she was the one wrapped around him like this.
she earned him. finally.
when ran finished his cigarette, he stubbed it out in the ashtray, then gently tapped her arms. “gotta go back now, princess.”
but y/n just held him tighter and shook her head.
he laughed quietly. “she’s gonna notice if i’m not there when she wakes up.”
“so?” y/n muttered, face buried against his chest. “let her. i don’t give a fuck about her feelings.”
typical y/n.
ran leaned down and kissed her temple. “i’ll make it up to you, okay?”
she rolled her eyes.
“i’ll see you in the morning.”
he kissed her once more, soft but short, then stood up and started pulling his clothes back on—like they hadn’t just committed the filthiest fucking sin in that bed.
like he didn’t just cum inside the wrong woman.
and still—he didn’t regret a thing.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
her morning was ruined the second she stepped into the kitchen.
there they were—her sister and ran—cuddled up, laughing, exchanging sweet little kisses like the man who was sucking her clit and fucking her brains out last night wasn’t sitting there acting like a picture-perfect husband.
y/n rolled her eyes.
disgusting.
she headed to the fridge, grabbed a water bottle, and slammed the door shut hard—just to make sure they knew she was there.
“woah, good morning, moody girl,” her sister teased, unbothered as she hopped off ran’s lap. she walked toward the kitchen counter, placing a bowl in front of y/n. “made you soup. figured you were drunk again last night, huh? what time did you even get home?”
too kind. always so kind.
“none of your business,” y/n muttered, barely sparing a glance, walking right past the breakfast her sister made and disappearing down the hallway.
her sister just sighed.
she always tried. always gave her love, her patience, her care. and y/n always shoved it back in her face. maybe that’s why it hurt more—because her sister never gave her a reason to hate her. but y/n did anyway.
ran watched it all. his wife’s disappointment. y/n’s attitude. he stood up and gently reached for her.
“i’ll talk to her,” he said.
she nodded, believing him. like she always did.
but that’s not what happened.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
“told you i’d be back in the morning,” ran whispered into y/n’s ear as he buried himself deep inside her.
y/n’s leg was hooked over his shoulder, her pussy slick and tight around him. ran angled himself just right, hitting her spot with every thrust—deep and deliberate.
“just gotta fuck that nasty attitude outta you, huh?” he growled, leaning in to slam into her harder. y/n clawed at the sheets, barely able to breathe through the pace he set.
“you fuck me so good… ugh, ran—”
“yeah?” he smirked. “you like getting ruined by your sister’s husband?”
y/n nodded desperately, mouth open, completely gone. she didn’t care anymore. about anything.
ran pulled out suddenly and flipped her on her stomach, pressing her flat to the bed. he slammed back in with a grunt, lips grazing her shoulder, then biting down as y/n cried out from the pressure.
“harder, ran, please!” she begged, eyes wet with tears.
he obliged. used her like a toy—slamming his hips into her, grabbing her wrists, pushing her into the mattress.
when she came, it was without warning—her body seizing up, legs shaking uncontrollably. ran felt it, loved it, and kept going.
he grabbed her by the hair, yanking her up so she was against his chest. y/n didn’t even resist. she let him do anything. everything.
his hand found her throat. his other hand rubbed her clit, overstimulating her while he pounded into her from behind.
“g-gonna cum again—” she choked out, crying now.
“good,” he muttered, slamming harder, faster. “fucking take it.”
he kissed her cheek, messy and open-mouthed, before groaning against her ear and spilling inside her again. not a drop spared. he stayed inside her, twitching, hips jerking involuntarily.
he laid her back down gently, pulled out slow. his cum spilled out of her ruined cunt and onto the sheets.
he kissed down her spine. across every bruise and mark he left.
they didn’t stop.
it happened again. and again. and again.
days turned to weeks. weeks to months. and still, his wife had no idea.
or maybe she did. but she was too kind, too naive to admit it.
until one morning—
“y/n… where’d you get that necklace?”
fuck.
y/n froze.
the necklace. she found it in ran’s car one night. tried it on. never gave it back.
“ah… this?” she said coolly. “my boyfriend gave it to me. why?”
and then—
her sister lit up.
eyes wide. soft little gasp. “oh? you have a boyfriend?!”
she looked genuinely happy. like she’d been waiting for that moment. like she believed—hoped—y/n had found someone who loved her.
“finally!” her sister smiled. “why didn’t you tell me sooner? oh my god, i wanna meet him.”
“i’ll bring him here soon,” y/n said casually, sipping her coffee like it wasn’t laced with venom.
her sister smiled, totally unaware. she had no idea the boyfriend y/n kept mentioning was her own husband.
“okay!” she chirped. “also—can you ask him where he got that necklace? we have the same one. ran gave it to me. i think i lost mine though, so i might have to drag him back there to get a new one.”
she laughed.
and y/n didn’t say a word.
because she wasn’t giving it back.
and she took her cruelty further.
she took photos of herself on ran’s phone—covered in his cum, fingers between her legs in front of the camera. made sure her face wasn’t visible. but the intent was crystal clear.
when it didn’t work, she went deeper.
she changed ran’s lockscreen to one of the pics. didn’t even care if it started a war.
his wife found it. of course she did.
they fought. argued. she cried. but still—she didn’t leave.
because she trusted him. too much.
too forgiving.
too fucking soft.
and that was the curse, wasn’t it?
her sister’s kindness was the very thing that broke y/n. the comparisons, the pressure, the perfection.
and now—she was gonna return the favor.
soon, she was going to break her too.
piece by piece.
starting with the one thing her sister cherished most—
synopsis: wherein he accidentally becomes absent in his child's life
genre: angst to fluff
warnings: not for anyone with parental issues, healthy resolvement, kakucho takes reader's last name as he does not have one.
characters: implied bonten! ran, rindou, kakucho x f!reader (separate)
mikey, sanzu, kokonoi (coming soon!)
ran:
"do you think daddy will come?" your daughter asks as you comb her hair comfortingly. you nodded reassuringly as you comb through her locks, you hear (d/n) sigh as she fiddles with the doll in her hand.
you frowned as you saw the disappointed expression on your daughter’s face. you couldn’t blame her for feeling sad. ran hasn’t been playing the role of an attentive father.
and you didn’t want to blame him, you knew how much work was taking a toll on him. he never wanted to burden you with his work-related problems so he kept his mouth shut and did his best to finish all his work before getting home, but that led to numerous nights where (d/n) couldn’t even kiss her father’s cheek as good night.
“i’m home.” you heard ran call out, you and (d/n) looked at each other in surprise before (d/n) ran from your grip to hug your husband’s thigh.
“you’re home early, daddy!” (d/n) said excitedly, ran only let out a tired smile before ruffling his daughter’s hair.
“let go for a while, sweetie. daddy needs to get changed.” ran says, you pry your daughter away and ran gave you a grateful smile in return.
“why don’t you look for the poster in your bag, (d/n).” you gently say to her who excitedly nodded and scurried away to her room to retrieve the said item.
ran lets out a sigh that you noticed.
“is everything alright, hun?” ran nods, body dropping onto the couch and his hand covering his eyes, blocking out the light. “just a lot more things to do today.” you give a nod, letting him be.
“daddy, daddy!” your daughter comes running, poster in hand as she shoves it on his chest. “the school is hosting a daddy-daughter dance, kira-chan said she’s going!” ran looks at the poorly made grade school poster then back at his daughter that looked back at him with shiny eyes that held the same color as his.
“can we please go?” (d/n) asks, ran nods with a smile before picking his daughter up, pressing kisses to her chubby cheek.
“of course we can, princess. we’ll be the best dressed daddy-daughter there is!” your daughter giggles as she wraps her tiny arms around your husband’s neck. “mommy, daddy said he’ll go!” she whispered excitedly, looking at you. not taking into account that ran can hear her. you gave her a smile, biting back a giggle as she pulls away from her father and runs back to her room.
“can you really go with her?” you warily ask when the coast was clear, ran looked at you, appalled, as if he couldn’t believe you would say that.
“of course i can. it’s for my princess, i’ll make time.” you gave him a skeptical look before he sighs and assures you that he’ll make it.
—
the day for the dance comes and you are combing your daughter’s hair to perfection as she giggles and fiddles with the hems of her princess gown. “baby, stay still or your tiara’s going to be messed up.” you lightly scolded her, (d/n) calms down for just a bit but you knew that she was excited.
“when’s daddy coming to pick me up?” she asks as she turns her head from side to side, giddy as she sees the shimmer on her eyelids.
you gulped, not knowing how to tell her that her father hasn’t been picking up any of the calls and texts you sent him. but you didn’t want to crush the hopes of your daughter as you smiled and assured her that he was coming in a few minutes.
“baby, i’m just going to call someone, okay? you can go play with your dolls for a bit.” (d/n) hops from the island chair she sat on before running to her toys.
“please pick up.” you whispered to yourself. you silently thank whoever was above as the call was answered in two rings.
“(y/n)? are you okay?” “kakucho.” you breathed out. “is ran there?”
“he’s in mikey’s office, they’re preparing for a mission, why?” you sighed, disappointed, something kakucho picked up.
“anything wrong?” “it’s…” you take in a deep breath. “ran promised to take (d/n) to her school’s daddy-daughter dance, (d/n) was looking forward to it, but it seemed like ran forgot.” you bitterly said. “i… i don’t know how to break the news to her because she was so excited, the dance is in an hour and it’s obvious that your… ‘missions’ would never be under an hour so…” you unknowingly ramble to kakucho.
“shit, sorry, kakucho. i said too much, anyway–” “take her to the place where the dance is, i’ll handle ran.” kakucho abruptly cuts you off. before you could ask why, kakucho has already disconnected the call, leaving you confused but you still heed his words.
“baby?” (d/n) looks at you with sparkles in her eyes, you wanted to punch your husband. “daddy said he’d meet us there, how about we go now so we can take pictures?” you lied, not exactly knowing what kakucho’s plans were.
the drive to the location was filled with your daughter’s excitement, you couldn’t help but smile at her as she tried singing to the song that was playing on the radio.
“where’s daddy?” she asks as she steps out the car and waits for you to walk her to the school grounds.
“daddy’s coming soon, he said the traffic is bad from his work.” you tell her before spotting a few of her friends.
“oh look, aren’t those your friends? why don’t you play with them for a while.” you pushed her slightly to the direction of her friends and sighed in relief as that managed to consume her time as you waited for your husband to show up.
almost half an hour passed and there was no sign of him. you looked apologetically at your daughter who was now alone and sat on the bench, beside the door where the dance was ongoing.
she looks at you and you feel your heart twitch sadly as her big round eyes fill up with tears, she stands up and walks toward you. a pout on her face. “mommy, let’s go. i don’t think daddy’s coming.”
“wait! i’m here!” the both of your heads turn to the source of the voice, there you saw your husband panting as he finishes up the last of his buttons of his white button-up, his necktie was sloppy looking and his suit jacket was crumpled.
you and your daughter looked at him as he catches his breath and tries to make himself presentable.
“daddy’s here, princess. come on, let’s go inside.” ran coos for his daughter but she did not move, staying by your side as her lower lips wobbled.
“you forgot.” ran’s heart broke at the words that left your baby’s lips. it wasn’t as if he wanted to forget, it was just that work was too much and mikey was getting more and more demanding, he’s ashamed to admit that he owes kakucho a huge one as the scarred male took over the dirty work that he was supposed to.
he would’ve arrived earlier if it weren’t for the fact that he got blood (not his) on his initial fit, leaving him to buy a new one in the span of an hour.
ran kneels to her height, hands, holding her tiny body as he pulls her close.“i’m sorry baby, i’m here now. i won’t ever forget again, i’m really, really sorry. i’ll tell you all about it, okay? how your big strong daddy fought villains on the side because they wanted to take away the pretty princess.” he boops her nose, causing her to giggle.
“did you win?” your daughter asks curiously, ran chuckles before lifting her up, her tiny arms encasing his neck as ran nuzzles and kissed her cheek. “of course i did!” (d/n) erupted into fits of laughter.
in the midst of it, ran’s purple eyes looked back at you who stared back with an indifferent expression.
“how about you go ahead (d/n)? i’ll be right there.” ran promises as he sets her daughter down, (d/n) runs inside, immediately laughing with her friends as she kept repeating that her father was finally here.
“look–“ “you have a lot of explaining to do, and you owe kakucho a huge one because if not for him, i would’ve been serving you divorce papers.” you glare, ran sighs, knowing that what he did was fucked up and he never wants to see that expression on his daughter again.
“but this isn’t the time, go inside and make that the best daddy-daughter dance (d/n) has, okay?” you say, stepping closer, fixing ran’s tie for him.
“i really do love you and (d/n), you know? i didn’t mean to forget.” ran says softly, holding your waist, you gave him a closed smile in response, nodding your head once.
“make it up to us, okay?” ran nods at that as you step back and pull away.
“now, go and call (d/n), i want pictures of you two.”
rindou:
“not now, baby.” rindou quietly says to your daughter as she raises a storybook in front of him. she was only barely seven years old.
“five minutes?” (d/n) innocently asks, rindou nodded, not paying as much attention as he looked over the paperwork that ran had given him. “five minutes,” he confirmed.
he hears his daughter let out a small ‘yay!’ before she ran out of his study. the small pitter-patter of her footsteps receding as she runs back to her bedroom where she tucks herself in, waiting for her father to come in and read her the animated book.
but five minutes turned into ten, then fifteen.
“why aren’t you asleep yet, baby?” you ask as you entered her room, (d/n) bit back a yawn as she looked at you with sleepy eyes.
“daddy said he’ll read me a story!” your daughter said, clutching the small book in her arms as she bit back another yawn.
you looked apologetically at her as you had just come back from rindou’s study to see him sprawled against his work papers, clearly tired. but you didn’t have the heart to tell her that.
“hm… how about i read you a story and daddy will read you two tomorrow, how does that sound?” you say in a light tone. you see (d/n)’s eyes light up as she nodded, pushing the book into your hands as she cuddles deeper into her thick blanket.
you were barely at the half of the book when you heard her little snores. you closed the book and smiled at your daughter who was now drooling into her pillows.
“sleep well, baby.”
the next night didn’t go as planned. (d/n) was looking forward to her father reading her the promised storybook, but she was only sent off with a promise of another day and a kiss on her cheek.
disappointed, but understanding, (d/n) sets off with a pout on her face as she tugs on the bottom of your shirt and gestures to the other storybook that rindou was supposed to read to her.
with a sad smile, (d/n) leads you to her room and falls asleep to your animated voice.
a week passed before rindou finally finished his work and was now free from the allnighters that he had to pull just to complete the said tasks.
when night time came, the male noticed that (d/n) wasn’t giving him the attention that she used to, only referring to you and interacting with you which he found odd but didn’t comment on it. he hasn’t been out of his home office for a while, so it was natural that (d/n) was closer to you but he was free now, he wanted to spend time with his daughter.
“(d/n).” he calls out to the child who looked at him with stray grains of rice on her face. rindou wanted to coo and pinch at her cheeks from the action but refrain himself from doing so.
“do you want me to read you a story tonight?” he was expecting her big eyes to sparkle and for her to babble excitedly, knowing that their nightly story book reading was one of the bonding activities that he cherished deeply.
to say that rindou was shocked at the response was an understatement.
(d/n) only gave him a polite smile before shaking her head cutely. “no thank you, daddy. it’s fine!” rindou blinked at the child who went back to her small bowl of rice. you watched the scene in front of you, feeling sorry for your husband but not saying anything for the meantime.
after dinner, rindou walked upstairs to get the new children’s book that came in the mail today, he was looking forward to reading it for her but she declined, he went back down to try to change her mind, only stopping when he heard you and (d/n) talking.
“can you read me a story later, please?” he hears your daughter ask, you let out a hum and from the giggles that rindou heard, he was sure you were ruffling her hair. “okay, but didn’t your daddy ask if you wanted him to read to you?”
rindou subconsciously moved closer, wanting to hear the conversation clearer. he heard his child let out a small sigh before replying.
“he told me that a bunch of times but he never did… i don’t want to bother him anymore. i can see that he’s busy working.” rindou feels his heart drop at her words. his hands tighten around the book he was holding in his hands.
rindou didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as he sauntered upstairs, multiple thoughts plaguing in his mind.
he didn’t realize that a few hours have passed, your daughter’s tired giggles were the only indication as he sits upright before leaving the room he was moping in.
once out of the room, he sees you about to enter your daughter’s room but he pulls you away immediately before (d/n) can see any of you.
“w-wha– rin?” you were startled at your husband who looked as if he was deep in thought.
“let me read the story tonight.” your brow quirked at his statement. “are you sure…? don’t you have work to do?” rindou wanted to punch a wall with that statement. he gave a confirmation, you were about to ask again before you remembered the conversation with your daughter and how she was acting with him a while ago.
with a smile, you patted his cheek before turning him around and pushing him off.
“go win our baby girl’s heart, rin.”
to say that (d/n) was confused when she saw her father enter her room was an understatement.
“why are you here?” ouch. children truly have no filter.
“i’m here to read you a story.” (d/n) tilted her head with confusion. “but… isn’t mommy reading it to me?” rindou shakes his head before sitting down on the seat by the side of her bed.
“nope. your mommy has been occupying you too much, it’s time for (d/n) and daddy time.” (d/n) hums at his words before pursing her lips.
“are you sure? don’t you have work? i’m fine, daddy. you don’t need to read me a story tonight.” rindou thinks that being shot by a gun would hurt less than her daughter’s thoughts.
he hated the fact that he’s been neglecting her to a point that she doesn’t look forward to what used to be their way of bonding.
“uh-uh.” he clicked his tongue, ruffling his daughter’s hair as he pressed a soft kiss on her forehead. “i’m sorry for not reading you stories for the past week.” he says quietly at the confused look on his daughter.
“it’s okay, daddy! you just have to read me twenty now!” warmth filled his chest at the goofy smile his daughter gave him.
rindou clears his throat. opening the book before he starts reading with a voice that he’d only reserve for his daughter.
whilst the story went on, (d/n) giggled and reacted to the animated voices her father sounded, and before rindou knew it, small snores were escaping his child.
“good night, my baby. i’m so sorry.” rindou whispers as he closes the book and places a kiss on her forehead before adjusting the blanket on her body.
“i’ll never forget to read you a story again.”
kakucho
you watch around the stadium, searching for a pair of mismatched eyes and a scar that runs across the forehead as the game continues to go on. catching no sight of it, you sighed in disappointment before shaking your head slightly, putting your best stage mom look on as you cheered for your son.
“that’s my son right there!” your other mom-friends laughed with you as (s/n) pitched perfectly.
“your son is really great at this sport.” a mom-friend said beside you, you smiled and nodded with pride. “he gets it from his dad, they used to play catch a lot.” you explain as you took out your phone and videotaped the current happenings of the game.
“(s/n)!” you yelled and (s/n) loses his focused trance for a second to wave brightly at the camera before getting his head back in the game.
you look at the text messages you sent your husband, seeing that he has not responded to a single one of them, you sighed out once more.
“trouble in paradise?” mina, a friend of yours asks as the baseball team takes a water break.
“kakucho said he’d be here to watch the game, but he isn’t responding to my messages, i’m just concerned.” you explain and mina nods with a hum.
“well… you can always show him the footage, right? he might be busy, isn’t he some number three hotshot in this company you talked about? must be a busy day.” mina tries comforting you, not knowing that the company you were talking about was one of the biggest criminal syndicates of the country, but of course, you’d never tell her that.
“i guess…” mina shakes her head playfully before nudging you to look back at the field. “they’re starting again.” your boy was patting his bat down the ground and you knew you had to get this all on film, call it motherly instincts but you just knew that this was worth filming.
the stadium was left in a state of shock as gasps and cheers filled the stadium.
your son had hit a home run. your mouth was left opened as tears lined up the bottom of your lids.
my son did that! you repeat to yourself as you pan the camera to where your son was being lifted up by the team as happy sounds radiated from the group of little boys.
you see your son pull away from the team and give you a wave, a big smile on his face, you wave back yelling how proud you are of him and he bows his head slightly to show gratitude, from the distance, you can see the way his vermillion eyes look at your sides then at the people surrounding you before his smile drops.
“where’s dad?” he mouths to you, and you understand completely. you froze, not knowing how to respond. your son seems to pick up on your body language as he shows you another toothy grin, though not as wide as the one before. you knew that this affected your son as well. “it’s okay.” he mouths to you as he smiles once more and joins his team for another group hug.
the ride home was filled with excited recollections from you and your son. he seems to be in high spirits as he jumps out of the car, running inside your house, hoping to share the good news with his father.
only to be left disappointed at an empty house.
“how about you go and take a nap? i’m sure your dad will be home when you wake up.“ you try comforting your son, but he looks at you with a frown. “but i don’t think i’ll be able to retell the story in detail if i don’t let it out now.” you smiled fondly at your son as you ruffled his hair.
“go and wash up, then take a nap. when you wake up and your dad arrives, just scroll through the gallery on my phone, there are pictures and videos that might help with your storytelling.” with that, (s/n) smiles and kisses your cheek. “thanks, mom!”
you laugh as he lets out a yawn, ruffling his hair once more, you reassure him that you’d wake him up once his father arrives and that you’d help him with describing what happened in the game.
hours passed, (s/n) woke up, ate his dinner, went back to sleep and there was still no sign of your husband. fear crept into your veins as you assumed the worst to have happened to kakucho.
“i’m home.” you hear the door open and your husband comes in, kakucho sighs as he takes off his coat and hangs it by the door.
“do you wanna explain why you come home at 4am and not text me about it?” you cross your arms on your chest, kakucho sighs once more as he sits down on the couch.
“bonten secured a deal today, the executives wanted to get drinks. i’m sorry for not communicating with you about this, my phone died and there wasn’t any signal but that’s no excuse, apologies, my love. i won’t let that happen again.” kakucho bows his head and you find yourself sitting down beside him.
“i’m not the one who you should be apologizing to.” you say, sighing as you let him take your hand in his.
“(s/n) was waiting all night for you, you know?” kakucho looked confused, you shook your head in response. “he’s been waiting all night to tell you the news, you shouldn’t hear it from me.” you say before you stood up and stretched, yawning.
“make it up to him tomorrow, okay?” kakucho nods and watches you trudge up the stairs. “oh and by the way, there’s a parent-teacher conference and i can’t make it, can’t ditch work again, do you think you can go?” kakucho nods once more, verbalizing an affirmation as he stands up as well and enters your shared bedroom.
kakucho is going to that conference no matter what.
it was unfortunate to say that he did not get the opportunity to converse with his son as he accidentally slept in, when he woke up, the house was empty and there was a note placed in the kitchen island explaining that you nor (s/n) wanted to wake him up.
he was on his way to (s/n)’s school, walking towards the conference and to say that he was shocked at the greeting would’ve been an understatement.
“congrats, (l/n)-san!” a father of (s/n)’s teammate pats his back. “we knew your little buddy could do it!”
kakucho was confused.
“the homerun your boy did yesterday was great! it won for the team, he did great!” another father praised and kakucho felt his heart dropping. a milestone in his son’s life, and he wasn’t there to witness it.
it wasn’t as if he did it intentionally, but the mere fact that he could’ve been there but he wasn’t was eating him alive.
kakucho recalls the conversation last night and realizes that this was probably the news his son wanted to share. he didn’t have to share the story if i was there in the first place, what kind of father are you? he glares mentally at himself, wanting to beat himself up for missing an achievement in his child’s life.
“(l/n)-san?” kakucho looks at the head teacher and nods in response, the teacher takes it as a cue to continue with the conference, and all kakucho could think about is how he’s going to make it up to his son.
when the meeting was over, he finds himself walking to the open grounds where he knew the extra curricular activities were held. his mismatched eyes looked around to spot a head of black with eyes the same shade as his and mouth shaped like yours.
“dad!” it seems that his son spots him first as the boy runs to him, kakucho smiles and crouches to his height as your son, despite being sweaty, hugs him.
“hey, champ.” kakucho greets as he rubs his son’s hair. “heard a lot of good things about you at the conference today.” (s/n) visibly brightens up at the praise before his lips turn into a pout. kakucho cocks his head to the side, a confused look on his face.
“no fair, i wanted to be the first to tell you about my homerun.” a frown forms on his son’s tiny face and kakucho laughs, ruffling his hair once more.
“next time, i’ll be there.” (s/n) perks up at the promise, a newfound determination in his eyes as he nods excitedly. “you better! you have to make it up to me, dad.” kakucho lets out a laugh as he begins hearing you from his son, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.
“how about we go and get ice cream and i’ll buy you that baseball glove you want?” (s/n)’s eyes shined at the treat before he nodded enthusiastically. “can we get two scoops?”
“as many scoops as you want, bud.”
true enough, kakucho never missed out on another game, even going as far as scolding you when you were ten minutes late.
note: would you believe me if i said i had this in my wips since march... it's a miracle i even found this again 😭
it’s all a lie. obviously. you can’t get enough of him, your life is revolved around him, he is your joy and your sadness. he is your comfort after being your pain. and that’s what you have to run. run far away from it.
“don’t be ridiculous.”
but you’re not being ridiculous. the countless ex’s lined up in his contacts cause a whirlwind within your mind. a turmoil. the nights where he prioritises his friends and drugs and alcohol above you. you are not what comes to his mind when he thinks of love. or at least that’s what you think.
“I do not deserve this”
ran looks at you with dull eyes, reflecting his thoughts — ‘after everything…?’
“you’ve led me on, for so long, if I wasn’t the one you wanted, why did you stay with me? why did you stay?”
“but I love you. I want you.”
your mind goes back to the night where he raised his voice beyond a simple ‘outside voice’. where he stared at you whilst your eyes could have filled oceans. stared with nothing. the harsh words that spilled out his mouth were a string of daggers.
“you don’t love me. you never loved me”
again, the night of your anniversary crossed your mind. the night where he came home, drunk. slurring. with nothing but an empty beer bottle within his hands. you remember yesterday, when he bought his female friend that he’s particularly very and too close with, a dior perfume. no reason really — just to treat her.
“but I wouldn’t have been with you for so long if I didn’t want to be with you”
you sat there staring at him with your heart free, but aching. the night you both sat in the sleek back uber haunted your mind next. the utter silence that shrouded the car, rather than comfort, was a deafening ring in your ear. it was uncomfortable. you didn’t even share the same passions.
“I tried so hard for you” ran smirked, in disbelief.
you scoffed. the night after your last argument found its way into your mind — his hands creeped onto your waist, cold and uncomfortable. he whispered ‘i’m sorry’ into your ear. but you were laying besides him, turned away, silent, crying. his hands creeped down further. ‘what’s wrong baby?’ he’d whisper. he was your first everything, but he didn’t love you. a person who loved you wouldn’t treat you like this.
“you tried for everything but me, you didn’t love me, you just loved the idea of having me.”
ran just stared at you; facial expression unreadable.
“you didn’t love me. if you did love me, I wouldn’t feel hard to love. I wouldn’t feel like i’m begging for you”
the countless nights where you had to beg for a call back from him flashed by you. where he said he’d try and be better for you, but ignored all your pleas to call you back.
“you led me on”
“well i’ll always miss you-”
“cut the bullshit. don’t say anymore”
you gathered your things, and swiftly stood up.
“you were nothing but an obstacle in my life, I loved you so much, and you never ever made me feel understood or reciprocated that. ever”
he snickered as he watched your hard eyes. he grabbed the shot of alcohol and downed it.
“alright darling”
darling. well. you’ve left all that behind now.
—————————————————————————
guys i went through a breakup pls don’t mind this dump xoxoxoxoxo
How would they react to the news that their girlfriend ended her own life?
A n g s t H e a d c a n o n s !
𝐹𝑡. Manjiro Sano, Izana Kurokawa, Kakucho Hitto, Ran Haitani, Rindou Haitani and Baji Keisuke
Requested by: My bestie ♡
𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨
At the exact moment he received the notice announcing that his girl was in the hospital after an attempt to take her own life, Manjiro did not hesitate to go to the place at the same time, so when he arrived at the hospital, the first thing he did was try to find out the condition of his beloved, until then, still hoping to find her well again.
As soon as he saw one of the doctors pass him in that freezing hallway, Manjiro immediately questioned how the girl was, "S-she's okay, isn't she? How is she?" Insistently, he questioned, however, the doctor only gave the news that the girl had not survived her to injuries.
At that same time, Manjiro felt as if his world was collapsing, he couldn't even believe it and for a brief moment, he still begged for that fact to be nothing more than a simple mistake, despite that, when part of him accepted what had really happened, the boy felt completely apathetic, as if some kind of emptiness took over him, after that event, Manjiro was never the same or could come back to his normal state, all he felt was guilt.
𝐈𝐳𝐚𝐧𝐚 𝐊𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐤𝐚𝐰𝐚
"Baby?" He looked for his loved one in every room of that house, until he entered the bedroom and saw water running under the bathroom door, tension spread throughout his body, but he did not lack the courage to open that same door.
When faced with such a scene, Izana hurried to try to save her, even doing anything at that moment, he couldn't believe his own eyes when he saw that it was already too late, even trying to stay in hope.
Although he could still save her life, the boy burst into tears when he realized that there was nothing left that could bring his beloved back.
After that day, Izana was never the same, becoming even more closed in his own world and carrying the guilt he condemned himself for not having arrived sooner to avoid all that tragedy.
𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨
Upon receiving the news that his loved one had just been hospitalized, the boy left everything behind, overcome by worry, he could barely think about what he would do if something bad actually happened.
When he arrived at the place, he immediately went to find out about the girl's condition, but, as soon as he learned the worst news he could receive, Kakucho just refused to accept that she hadn't resisted.
Alone, sitting in an empty corridor of a hospital, still in denial, he remained at the door of the room where his loved one was, when he cruelly realized that he would never see her alive again, he could not control his incessant crying, sitting on that floor, blaming himself for not having saved her from herself, he would definitely never be able to feel joy again, no longer caring about being alive or not, after all, after that day, the boy no longer felt anything.
𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
Finding his beloved's absence strange when he arrived home, something like an intuition made the heart of the tallest one feel distressed, for this reason, it didn't take him long to go up the stairs and look for her, the moment he opened the bedroom door, he saw her, but not as he wanted and then, the blood spread on the floor announced the tragedy that had occurred. "Shit... Shit!" The boy held the girl on his lap and took her to the hospital, believing that he could still save her.
Pacing insistently from side to side, Ran waited in anguish of worry, however, once he could finally be notified of the condition of his gentle girl, he could not believe that she simply had not resisted.
"She's gone... I couldn't save her, I failed." He repeated to himself sitting in one of the hospital chairs, Ran couldn't shed a tear or simply have any reaction other than blaming himself for not having made her stay, even if he had already accepted that he would never see her again, he still He refused to accept that she had left in such a cruel way, so this fact directly affected him, making him completely empty and with a coldness he had never seen before.
𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢
"C'mon, don't do this to me, wake up, please, wake up..." Holding the girl in his arms, he did his best to try to save her and have time to take her to the hospital, but his hopes were destroyed when it happened realizing that she was leaving before his own eyes, even though he didn't want to and couldn't accept that he would lose her that night, Rindou hugged her, still trying to make her get rid of those medications, despite all his efforts, he instinctively He knew she was gone when he felt his skin turning cold.
"Baby? Baby, please, wake up!" He began to cry compulsively when he saw her leave before his eyes and in her arms she rested, Rindou just begged for her forgiveness for not having saved her and even if the girl could return to forgive him, the sameHe would carry that pain and guilt for the rest of his life and he did so, Rindou was never able to forgive himself.
𝐁𝐚𝐣𝐢 𝐊𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐞
"S-she... tell me, tells me how she is, now!" Arriving at the hospital after receiving such shocking news, Baji immediately went to find out about the girl's condition, no matter how much he tried to control himself or just remain calm, he could not deny himself that he expected the worst, and when unfortunately his intuition did not made a mistake, Baji could not accept that he had lost his beloved so unexpectedly.
Sitting on the hospital floor, he just begged for it to be a mistake or a lie. "...She's fine, this...this can't be real, it's a fucking nightmare." He repeated, despite this, when he realized that it had really happened, his heart broke instantly, the pain caused by the loss of the girl being one of the worst things he could feel.
After that fact, Baji started to get into even more trouble to try to dispel all that feeling and the longing that that girl left behind, becoming a danger even to himself, Keisuke never went back to being who he was.
| coming back after leaving the country for eight years, you reunite with old friends, family, and ex boyfriends.
pairing. ex!ran x fem!reader
word count. 7.9k (long sorry not sorry)
series synopsis. bonten is forming and in the midst of it all, you find yourself caught in the sticky webs of your ex boyfriend and current bonten executive, haitani ran.
content. angst, first meetings, mentions of alcoholic mother in rehab, drinking mentions, bonten timeline, smoking mentions from Ran in flashback
a/n: nothing too bad this chapter but there's smut next chapter, promise 💯😎
November 2005
“Shion,” you groaned and rubbed your head, massaging your scalp to try and tame your roaring headache. “Is your room available? I drank too much.”
“HUH?!” he yelled in your ear, unable to hear him over the music. Given your location, you didn’t get mad at him for screaming at you considering the fact you’re at a party with loud music. But still, it was probably the worst thing he could’ve done.
“I said—” You raised your voice slightly, moving to speak in his ear. “Can I go to your room?”
He took another chug of his drink and nodded, pointing up the stairs. “First room on the left.” You planted a kiss on his cheek and thanked him before stumbling up from the couch. Following his instructions, you were on your way upstairs but the amount of moving bodies as they danced took up space, making you confused so you opened the first door you saw and locked it behind you.
You wasted no time before flopping onto his bed, fisting his sheets as you groaned when your headache thumped again. The sheets were so comfortable and warm you almost fell asleep. The door opened again suddenly and you fought back another groan when the booming music from downstairs passed through and blasted your ears.
“Shion, close the damn door,” you said tiredly, uncaring about the aggression in your voice.
“Hot girl in my bed, that’s new,” the voice said suddenly and you stilled. Using all your strength, you blinked up at the man in the doorway. He was tall, holding onto a lighter in one hand, braids slipping past his shoulders.
“This isn’t your bed…it’s Shion’s,” you groaned, explaining slowly. The headache makes your tone sound more annoyed than you’d planned on using, especially with meeting a hot stranger. “Now shut the door.”
He snorted. “Shion’s is next door. This is my room.”
Your head pulsed sharply when you sat up instantly, spitting out rapid fire apologies as you knelt on his bed and redressed the sheets you crumpled from its neat position from lying down starfish on his bed. “I’m so so so sorry.”
"'S cool." His eyes were only focused on one thing, the sight of your dress riding up your thigh as you reached forwards, sliding your hands across the sheets to smooth them down and fluff up his pillows. The sight of your bare thigh was sensual, making him wish for nothing more than to reach out and run his fingers along it. He bet your skin was soft, inviting even, and his hands itched to sink his fingers into its warmth.
The hunger stirred within his body as he watched you push the dress back down, covering your thigh once again as you slid off his bed, locking eyes with him. His eyes travelled up your body quickly until they stopped at your face, the intensity caused you to look away, flustered.
"So..." you started, swinging your awkwardly stiff arms by your side. "I'm gonna go..." you said, unable to handle the awkward situation.
"There's no point. There's a couple in there, you know how parties get."
"Oh," you breathed out, an expression that can be interpreted as sadness or defeat crossing your features.
"You can stay here though. As long as you don't mind smoking," he gestured to the lighter in his hands, and the unrolled joint tucked between his two fingers.
"I don't mind."
"Cool." He kicked the door shut behind him and moved to sit on his bed and pat the spot next to him. You were a little hesitant before stepping over to the bed, shifting backwards until your back pressed against his cold wall and crossed your legs.
"Why're you so far back? Come closer," he said, reaching out a hand, motioning with his free hand for you to come forward. You shook your head meekly, lightly scratching your nails down your arm. "C'monnn," he insisted, reaching out a hand and gently pulling you towards him.
Your protests were ignored before you sighed and allowed him to pull you forward. You sat next to him, intimidated by the proximity of your skin to his. His scent washed over you, causing goose bumps to rise on your skin as you plucked at the loose thread on his blanket.
He put the joint in his mouth, and nudged at your knee to grab your attention. "Do me a favour. Grab that candle in my drawer for me."
You obediently got up and crawled to the end of the bed, idly pulling down your dress when it rode up too far and opened his drawer. You were oblivious to his gaze down your legs, his strong eyes now turning red as he took a hit, blowing smoke through his nostrils.
"Is this the candle?" you asked, bringing out a lavender scented candle and waved it around.
He squinted his eyes to get a better look at it. "Yeah," he muttered, shifting onto his back, kicking a leg up and lacing his hand behind his head.
"Why do you have so many candles? Do you smoke a lot?" you asked, handing it to him and fitting yourself back next to him.
He was still relaxed, inhaling the smoke deeply and shook his head. "Only when I'm stressed," he exhaled, lifting his head back and blowing the smoke out into the air. You shifted on the bed, nervousness clawing at your insides as you found your eyes drawn to his lips wrapped around the joint. He was quite skilled, keeping his lips taut while smoke puffed out and his jaw clenched. Your heart rate picked up, beating heavily against your chest as you stared at his lips with longing.
As if sensing your unease, his eyes locked with yours, staring at you intensely for several seconds before he cleared his throat and removed the joint from his mouth.
"Why are you so nervous around me?" he asked, noticing the change in your behaviour.
You glanced up at him, surprised at his question. "Um, I'm not."
His eyebrows rose up to his forehead. "Sure you aren't. You're practically running away whenever we make eye contact." He reached out to poke your knee, laughing when you jumped slightly. "See? You're so jumpy, relax." His laughter calmed you down somewhat, allowing you to meet his gaze for longer than five seconds. He offered you the joint and you shook your head.
"You nervous? Never smoked before or something?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as he spoke.
You looked down at your lap, shaking your head. "Yeah, never. I can't handle the smell."
"No one likes the smell. It's about how it makes you feel," he responded, the words coming out slow as the joint began to take its course inside his body. He rolled his neck, working out any tension he felt and ran the tip of his tongue along his bottom lip.
You snorted, hiding a giggle between your palm. He looked over at you, raising an eyebrow at you but smiled and asked, "What's so funny?"
"You sound like a hippie," you giggled again, recounting his words and lowering your voice to match his pitch. "It's about how it makes you feel," you said between laughs.
He was too high to really understand what you were saying, but found himself laughing anyway. Eventually the laughing slowed down and the both of you sat silently. You were watching intently as he took another hit before offering it to you again.
Feeling more comfortable, you accepted and shifted closer to him as he sat up, leaning his body weight onto one elbow. Ran held it up to your lips and your eyes met as he instructed you on what to do.
"Inhale," he said, pausing briefly to watch your lips purse around the joint before continuing. "Slowly...hold it...now exhale," he finished, smiling encouragingly when you sucked in deeply. The smoke filled your lungs and you panicked, pulling away before exhaling and coughing harshly as your lungs protested the smoke.
Ran burst into laughter and shoved the joint back into his mouth, taking an easy hit as you doubled over, fighting to catch your breath as you tried to breathe properly. A heatwave flushed over your body when you looked back up and heard him laughing at you.
"Stop laughing! It's not funny," you protested, opting between smacking him or suffocating him when he didn't stop laughing. A pillow was right there and nobody would know it was you...but you shook the thought away and grabbed the pillow instead, throwing it at him.
He swatted it away, breathing heavily from laughing. "Alright, I'll stop, I'll stop." He shifted so he was sitting upright against the headboard. "Wanna give it another try?"
"Fuck no," you hissed, shaking your head and pointing and the tiny joint. "That's a whole murder weapon. I don't know how you do it."
"Your lungs are just weak, sweetheart."
"Sweetheart?" you blinked, caught off guard for a moment and flustered from his teasing.
"Well, I don't know your name so," he shrugged, taking another hit, blowing the smoke in your face and laughing when another round of coughs erupted from your lungs.
"You never asked for my name," you retorted, placing your chin on your knees. "Do you wanna know?"
"Is it necessary?" he questioned, lazily playing with the thin strands of hair sticking to his forehead. "How badly do you wanna tell me?"
"Not that badly. I don't really care," you shrugged.
"You just want me to keep calling you sweetheart. I can see right through you," he grinned widely, flashing his teeth at you. You pursed your lips, trying to keep them in a straight line before failing, breaking into a wide grin of your own.
"Maybe I do... so what?" you lowered your voice suggestively, feeling the failed attempt at hitting a joint float through your system, your body and mind feeling lighter by the second. "Besides, you never told me your name."
His tongue traced the edge of his lips, distracted by the way your eyes were staring at him, full of lust. You took the opportunity to lower your gaze to his mouth, wondering if it tasted as good as it looked. You saw his eyes follow your path and wonder crept in when he stared intently at you.
"C'mere," he whispered, beckoning you over. . When you leaned in close enough, your nose brushed his, sending sparks through your entire body. You instinctively pulled away when he whispered his name into your ear.
"Nice name," you responded, searching his eyes and staring deep into them. He was leaning in slowly, his lips touching yours before stopping just short, creating a confusing mix of emotions within your body.
A fire burnt somewhere in the pit of your stomach as all you could think was his lips against yours. You gripped his shirt tightly in your fists and closed the gap between you, pressing your lips firmly against his. When he felt your lips part, his tongue swept in, running along the edges of your mouth.
Your fingers dug into the sheets when his arm traced down your side, resting against your hip. A low moan rumbled from your chest as you tilted your head to the side, accepting the gracious slide of his lips against yours.
He pulled away after a moment, resting his forehead against yours. He stroked his thumb across your cheek before dragging it down to your lips, wiping the wetness away before leaving his hand splayed on your cheek, forcing you to lift your head up and meet his gaze.
"You gonna tell me your name now?" he demanded, staring directly into your eyes.
You parted your lips to speak before the door burst open and a very worried Shion stumbled through. "What the hell?! Why didn't you tell me you were in here! I thought you died or something!" His words were slurred, the alcohol he'd been drinking kicking into full gear as he did a dramatic double take at the sight of you and Ran on his bed. You were sitting next to him, your dress ridden up your thigh so high you might as well be naked. His eyes travelled up to your face, glaring at the grip Ran had on your cheek. "What the fuck are you doing?"
You pushed yourself away from Ran and fixed up your dress, clearing your throat. "Nothing."
His eyes narrowed and he stepped towards you, gripping your face until you looked up at him. Your eyes were slightly red and he frowned. "...you're high."
"Nah," you scoffed, swatting his hand away. "I'm not."
Shion ignored you and directed his glare over at Ran who was watching the situation with an amused smirk on his face. Shion grabbed onto your arm and helped you slide off the bed and fix your clothes. "Come on I'll get Mira to drive you home."
"Okay," you hummed, turning around to wave at Ran before waiting outside the door.
Shion turned to look at his friend and scowled. "There's hundreds of girls in this house. Sleep with any of them. I don't care, just not her. That’s my fucking friend, okay?"
Before Ran could respond, Shion already turned around and slammed the door behind him.
PRESENT DAY—2015
The entire drive from the airport to your brother’s house was filled with anticipation and silence. Your leg bounced restlessly, chewing on the inside of your cheek as you looked out the window. A familiar feeling of nostalgia washed over your body and reminded you of the last eight years you spent away from this place. Studying abroad was not easy, but definitely worth it. Without the distractions, family drama, (ex) boyfriend drama, you were able to focus on yourself for once, and put your own needs and interests first. You were able to meet new people every day, able to properly form new relationships in university without the fear of people judging you for the mistakes you made in high school. One thing about the neighbourhood you grew up in was that it was a tight-knit community. Everybody was well acquainted with everyone, meaning any gossip or secrets spread around like wildfire. One small mistake and everybody knew within a week.
Pushing the unpleasant memories aside, it was still good to be back home.
“We’re here,” the driver announced, parking his car outside your brother’s house. His voice snapped you out of your haze, blinking yourself back to reality. The driver was looking back at you, smiling.
“Oh! Thank you so much,” you said heartily, digging in your pockets for your change. You handed it to him and thanked him once more before sliding out of the car.
Grabbing your suitcase, you took in a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for the butload of questions your brother will ask you for disappearing randomly for eight years. Your fist hesitates before knocking on the door, biting your lip when you hear the tv inside pause, then a flurry of footsteps.
The door opened and for a moment, the two of you just stared at each other. He’s blinking rapidly, probably busy trying to distinguish the difference between reality and delusion.
“Hi Hiro,” you decided to speak first, worrying your lip between your teeth as you waited for him to say something.
“No,” he shook his head, backing away from the door. “No this isn’t real.”
“It’s real, I’m back.” You smiled, letting go of your suitcase to hold your arms open. Your heart warmed when he pulled you in for a hug, gently swaying you side to side as he took a moment to drink this information in. You don’t blame him for being this tongue-tied, if anything it’s a positive reaction when you were prepared for yelling and arguments.
“Holy shit, I missed you so much,” he spoke into your shoulder, fighting back from lifting you off the floor. He pulled away and looked at your face again, squishing his hands against your cheeks just to make sure once again he wasn’t hallucinating. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?! I was so worried!”
He finally let you go and stepped aside as you wheeled your suitcase in.
“I was nervous. I thought everybody hated me for leaving,” you admitted, looking guiltily down at the ground.
“Yeah, that was so uncool,” he responded and you felt a wave of remorse flush through your body. “I just woke up one night to a million calls from Mom telling me you left the country. I didn’t even get to say goodbye, man.”
“I know, Hiro. It was a stupid mistake. I just…” you paused, melancholy flickering on your face, then looked up at him staring you down with a soft look on his face. He knew you were going through a lot back then, but due to your obsession of keeping your personal life a little too personal, he was unable to know anything about you until it was too late and you were already gone.
You took a moment to take a deep breath, voice shaky as you continued, “I got into an argument with someone, then I fell out with Mira not even an hour later and I just lost it that night. So I checked my emails and saw that University abroad, the one I applied to as a joke, actually accepted me. So I just said fuck it and left. Obviously I regretted it but it was too late for me to go back with the limited money I had, so…yeah.”
“Who did you argue with…?” he asked, fiddling with his hands anxiously. “Who was it?”
You wiped a stray tear that slipped from your eyes and faked a smile, speaking through a watery laugh. “I’d rather not discuss this right now. How have you been?”
Hiro frowned, disappointed you still didn’t trust anybody enough to talk to them about stuff that’s clearly bothering you, but sighed all the same. “It’s good, man. I got into university too. In my second year right now.”
“Oh my god, which school?” you asked, stepping aside as he carried your suitcase further into the house. “Wait, no. What do you study?”
“I study Computer Science, obviously.”
“Oh yeah. I forgot you were a nerd,” you fake grimaced, laughing when he muttered for you to shut up. “Are you at the top of your class? You always liked computers and…hacking and stuff.”
“Should’ve hacked into that airplane and turned it back around.”
“Yeah, wish you would’ve too,” you sighed, flopping down on the couch. The leather sunk in when you sat, and you inhaled sharply, closing your eyes and taking in the familiar scent of your childhood home.
Looking around now, the house was fairly empty and dull. It was like the aura had changed, now eerily and dreary. “Hey, Hiro,” you called out to your brother in the kitchen, the sounds of plates being brought out of cabinets comforting you. “Where’s ma? I tried to reach her when I landed but her phone went straight to voicemail.”
“Oh about that…” He stilled for a moment, and you froze, unlike the sound of his tone.
“...Hiro..?”
There was a sound of footsteps as he walked back into the living room, leaning against the door and folded his arms over his chest. “She’s back in rehab.” A scowl crossed his face and he cursed under his breath. “She’s been in and out for the last eight years but I haven’t been speaking to her like that.”
“Are you kidding me?” You sat upright, frowning. “When? Why? How?”
He waved his hand flippantly. “I don’t know. Don’t care either. She can rot inside that damn building for all I care. Anyway, you hungry?”
“Yeah. Plane food sucks ass.” The two of you grinned at each other as he ran upstairs to grab a Chinese food pamphlet. The doorbell rang and you sat up to open the door, thanking the delivery man for handing you a letter. When Hiro came back down, you handed him the letter, urging him to open it.
“You’re so nosy,” he complained, tossing the pamphlet at you along with his phone. “Oh shit.”
“What?” you responded, scrolling through the menu.
“My friend’s getting married in two weeks. They’re inviting to come.”
“Ooh, what friend?” you ask, curiously, mentally deciding between the spring rolls and the chow mein. “Are they nice?”
“Yeah, her name is Hinata Tachibana. She’s really nice.”
“You both in the same class?”
“Nah,” he shook his head. “I’m friends with her boyfriend’s friend. So when we hang out, I see her sometimes. I’m not really close with her though, so I’m confused why I’m invited.” He slumped against the couch, deep in thought.
“Don’t think about it too much. Just go, eat loads of cake and have fun. You deserve it.”
“Thanks,” he smiled, picking at his nails before sliding his eyes in your direction. “Do you wanna come? It’s been a while since you’ve been back so I assume you have no friends.”
“Damn. Straight in the heart, huh?”
He grinned and looked down at the couch. “I didn’t mean it like that…”
“I know what you meant, don’t worry. But you’re right though.” Your shoulders slumped down as you pinched your lips together. “I’m too scared to contact any of my friends right now.”
“Understandable. So, you wanna come?”
You thought about it for a moment before agreeing. It wouldn’t be that bad. You spent the last year perfecting and moulding yourself into a more social being, no longer that super awkward antsy pushover teenage girl that went along with anything anyone said because you were too scared that they’d dislike you.
The food came twenty minutes later and you spent the next hour or two eating and laughing with your brother whilst watching shitty movies on Netflix. Words couldn’t explain how much you missed him, how much you missed your old home, your old life. Though your phone was dry, no new notifications, nobody to text or call, just being at home with your brother was enough for you.
The next day on your way down to the kitchen to grab some water, the doorbell rang. On the list of people you were initially hoping you’d run into eventually, versus the list of people you planned to avoid like the plague, Shion happened to fit in the middle of both of them.
You stared dumbfounded at him, watching his eyes widen as he mumbled, “You’re actually back…”
You swallowed a lump in your throat, your question along the lines of, “How’d you know,” being interrupted as he stepped forward, sweeping you in his arms. Your body felt like it was suffocating, your poor bottle of water twisting and spilling onto the floor as your fist enclosed it.
He fought back on the urge to pick you off the floor, wanting to keep things as friendly as possible, for now… before stepping away, planting his hands by his side. He blinked at you again, you blinked back, the both of you just waiting to say something other than hey…
Your brother came down the stairs just in time and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “Dude. When I said she was back I didn’t expect you to come over right away,” he grinned at Shion, thus momentarily snapping him out from his daze.
He was hesitant to look away from the face he’s missed for over eight years and it took him a second before gathering his wits, his mind slowly coming back from its spiralling haze to respond. “I had to see it for myself. I still don’t believe this.”
You swatted his hand away when he reached out to poke your cheek. “I’m not a ghost.”
“I know. I know. It’s just—wow. You look good.” He forced an awkward smile at you. His words, to those that don’t know the context of your relationship, seemed innocent enough; your brother seemed to be pleased with the compliment, happy that he wasn’t here to lash out at you for leaving. But to you, your heart skipped a beat in your chest as you remembered the last incident between you two before you left.
For a split second, you swore you could feel his hands again as they ran down your sides, could feel how strong his shoulders were as you gripped onto them with everything you had.
Shion could tell you were thinking of the same memory and gave you a crooked smirk as you were unable to retreat your eyes from his face.
“Why is it so awkward…?” Hiro broke the awkward silence and you cleared your throat.
“Nothing. Shion come in.” You stepped out of the way to let him inside.
“Nah, nah I can’t. I just came by to see if it was true. I gotta go to work.” Your face fell at the news and a flash of guilt crossed him momentarily. “But I’ll come see you later tonight. I promise.”
“Okay,” you whispered back, giving him a long searching look in his eyes. His breath stuttered for a short moment, his hand just aching to reach out and touch your cheek but the presence of your brother held him back.
Shion left with a wave not long later and you shut the door, pressing a hand over your heart and fighting the urge to bang your head against the door.
“Did you both hook up or what?” Hiro asked as he opened the fridge door.
“Sorry, what?”
“You’re both awkward as shit and you look embarrassed right now.” He reached for the milk at the back of the fridge door and stepped over to the cabinet to grab a bowl.
“I’m embarrassed because I don’t want to talk about the topic of sex right now with my younger brother.”
“It’s not a big deal. I slept with your friend once,” he said casually, pouring his milk into the bowl, and you cringed when you saw him pour the cereal last.
His words took a minute to sink in. “Excuse me, WHAT?!”
He took a spoonful of cereal and shrugged. “What’s the big deal?”
“Which friend? Hello?! When was this?! Why—oh my god ew.”
He frowned at you. “I’m not repulsive. Chill out.” He took another spoonful and wiped some milk spilling past his lips. “It was Dona.”
“Dona—” you paused for a moment. “When was this?”
“I dunno…like two years ago? Or like three? To be frank, I lost track of time years ago. Could’ve been last week for all I know.”
You shuddered at the thought of your old friend with your brother, but pushed that sick image away from your mind. “Have you spoken to her recently?”
“Yeah. We talk from time to time. Why? Don’t want me to tell her you’re back?”
“I’d appreciate that. Thank you, Hiro.” He nodded in your direction then refocused his gaze back onto his cereal. “Now if you excuse me, I’m going to wash away that mental image from my head.”
“Oh whatever.”
~*~
Weddings in all honesty weren’t something you truly cared about. It was bizarre, growing up and seeing all this talk about getting married to the ‘one’ and spending the rest of your life with them. Sure, for some couples it was a main goal they wanted to achieve, but with you, it wasn’t something you truly cared about. Women would freak out that their time was soon coming to an end because they weren’t married and still didn’t find the right man. But truthfully, how did someone know who was the right man? Is there some sort of criteria box to tick off? Nobody actually knows someone from the get go, and you can hide your true self for years so it truly doesn’t matter how well you think you know someone, you will never know if they were the right one.
That all changed when you met Haitani Ran though. He was the right one for you. If someone asked you how you knew, you’d have to tell them you don’t know. It was more of a gut feeling. That lonesome feeling you got in your gut whenever you were away from him. That feeling could just be anxiety, scared he might not come back home alive doing what he does. But he reassured you time and time again that he would be okay. That he’s fine and doesn’t need you worrying. It was a natural instinct to worry. Especially with the countless times you had to help clean his cuts, bruises, and scratches on his pretty face.
That feeling you got was indescribable. Being with and around him changed you for better and for worse. He made you truly understand what it was like to love someone no matter how toxic it may have been. But he also managed to bring out your worst, the side that you wanted to shove down and stomp on before you left the country.
Being back now, you feel that side of you inside just chilling down there, as if waiting for the right moment to come out. It’d been successfully tamed for eight years, so the shackles were tight and it was properly chained up, and you hoped that you wouldn’t love someone else like him, hoped that nobody else managed to bring out that side of you again.
Standing here in this chapel right now as you watched Hiro congratulate his friend Hina and her now husband Takemichi on their new marriage, you couldn’t help but wonder just how perfect their relationship was. If they had brought out any bad sides in the other and had to take month long breaks in order to piece themselves back together.
The wedding photos make them seem happy enough, and you even shed a tear despite not knowing who any of these people are. They just seemed so…perfect. The perfect bride and groom. The perfect couple.
It was…revolting. Seeing them so happy and smiling constantly made you sick to your stomach. It wasn’t fucking fair that they managed to find each other, find the ‘one’ on their first try without any hardships to come between them. Guaranteed you were purely projecting, and you were aware of that, but still. It was better to assume given all the pictures you saw in the photo album of them still dating when they were 14 years old.
You couldn’t properly enjoy the wedding without tearing up slightly, wondering just what went wrong in your life that made you such a bitter human being. These people were happy to enjoy a new stage in their life and you were just being a sulking mess in the corner of the room, wishing bad on everybody as they smiled.
Seeing everyone happy with their friends, dancing, smiling, drinking, it made you jealous. The only friends you have in your life right now are your brother (if that can even count) and Shion. The loneliness never sunk in more at this point. Seeing the crowds of people in this wedding having fun…you never felt more alone in that moment.
Your mind travelled back to when you had friends, were stable in your life, had a boyfriend, and most importantly you were happy. Before you fucked it all up when you struggled on balancing all four.
JANUARY 2006
You grabbed your lunch tray and practically bounced over to your friends table, blinded by delight to notice the way Mira and Dona were shifting in their seats, uncomfortable with your presence.
“Hey guys!” You sat down on the bench in front of them, a wide smile on your face.
Mira mirrored your smile, mumbling a hey back as she poked her food with her fork. Dona didn’t bother to cast you a smile, instead choosing to frown and roll her eyes.
Sensing some sort of tension, you swallowed awkwardly. “What’s up? How’ve you guys been?”
“Fine,” Dona responded sharply.
You deflated slightly, mood turning damp. “Why’re you acting so weird?”
Mira peeked over at Dona with a worried expression. Dona was never good at hiding her emotions, always being an open book unlike Mira who mastered the art of acting happy even when she wasn’t. In that moment though, you could tell that you were clearly missing out on something because the distance between your trio had never been further.
“We didn’t hear from you for the whole holiday. We just missed you, that’s all,” Mira spoke carefully, watching your expression attentively.
Oh. So that’s what this is about. You scratched your neck, lightly dragging your nails along the skin. “Yeah…about that. I’m sorry, I was busy. You see Ran took me—”
“Of course he did,” Dona interrupted, practically spitting the words out.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Dona?”
“Nothing.” She put her fork down on her tray and looked at you for the first time today. Her eyes were sharp, the irritation practically radiating off her as she continued speaking. “It’s just that he’s literally all you fucking talk about now and frankly it’s getting annoying.”
“I’m sorry,” you blinked, getting yourself ready for defence mode. “Weren’t you the one who was pressuring me to pursue him? I was the one hesitant to talk to him but YOU wanted me to start dating him.”
“Yeah but it doesn’t mean you should be acting like this! Abandoning your friends for WEEKS without a single word!” Dona’s voice was getting higher to the point that it started to gather people’s attention from other tables. Mira wanted to sink into a puddle on the floor when people started staring, praying silently that you both would keep the volume down, but then Dona continued, eyes practically flashing red. “You didn’t even go home! The entire holiday! Your mother was worried sick!”
You scoffed. “Who gives a fuck what she thinks.”
Dona paused, her mouth open and her eyes wide. “What the hell happened to you?” The two of you stared at each other for a moment and you both couldn’t recognise each other. Mira desperately wanted to intervene, ask you both to keep your voices down and stop attracting attention but whenever she opened her mouth, Dona continued. “You know she started drinking again right?”
You stiffened and Mira noticed.
“Dona, stop,” Mira whispered, looking over to her friend desperately. “Now’s not the time.”
“Nah,” Dona shook her head. “I’m tired of her shit. She needs to hear this.” Her volume started to rise again. “You hear that, (Name). Your mother started drinking again. Because of you.”
“How do you know?”
“My mother goes to the same AA meeting as her. She was there. She heard all the stories your mother said during those meetings and told me.”
There was a moment where a look of shock flashed over your face, but Dona wasn’t having it. “Oh, don’t look surprised. I don’t know what was going through your head to think stumbling in the house drunk at 3AM was a good idea. You thought she wouldn’t notice? Or what about that tattoo you got on your stomach that you also thought she wouldn’t notice? You think this is the kind of stuff your mother wants to see from her daughter? Not even a year ago you were acting normal, going to school ON TIME, getting perfect grades. What the fuck happened to you?”
You stood up abruptly, slamming your hands down onto the table with a loud slam that definitely caught the attention of everyone in the room this time. Mira wanted to explode.
“I’m not gonna sit here and let you talk about my mother like she was a saint. In those dumbass AA meetings, did she ever discuss the ugly parts of herself or only sit there and bad mouth me? Hm?”
Dona swallowed harshly, arms crossed over her chest. “What are you talking about?”
“Oh so I’m guessing she didn’t. Let me update you then.” You brought your finger out and started counting. “Let’s discuss the fact she thought it would be a great idea to bring over different guys at the SAME TIME and sleep with them on the goddamn couch when I was trying to sleep upstairs. Did you think my thirteen year old self wanted to see that? Or my brother? Or, oh yeah this is a good one,” you brought your second finger up, “the time I had to drag her unconscious body up the stairs and help her bathe because she decided to drink herself half to death that night? Or the fact she passed out on the sofa, blacked out for DAYS and I had to sit there and cry next to her because I thought she died? My whole goddamn life was dedicated to taking care of HER. Now I finally want my own fun and go off the rails one time, that’s enough to send her spiralling and crying to her alcoholic friends? How the fuck do you think I feel?!”
You finished ranting and clenched your jaw as you waited for Dona to continue talking. She had so much to say about a situation she knew nothing about. Now everybody knew your dirty business because she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. Embarrassed, you dropped back down to the bench and began stabbing at your food with your fork, pretending the chicken was Dona’s fucking head.
Mira cleared her throat, the sound echoing in the silence of the cafeteria. “I’m sorry that happened to you. I really didn’t know.”
“Yeah well there’s a lot of shit you don’t know,” you responded harshly.
Dona swallowed heavily and fiddled with her fingers under the table. “I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want your fucking pity.” You stood up abruptly, grabbing your tray. “And maybe shut your fucking mouth and stop speaking on shit that doesn’t concern you.”
“But Dona was just looking out for you,” Mira started.
“Looking out for me, how?! By bringing up my mother in an attempt to catch me off guard and make me feel guilty? Or basically call me a bitch and a useless friend.”
Dona stood up also, pointing her finger in your face. “Maybe stop acting like both and you won’t get called that.”
“You know what. Fuck you both. I’m done. Consider me gone.”
“Yeah, it’s not like we aren’t used to you being gone anyway,” Dona muttered under her breath.
You shook your head, glaring at the both of them once more before dumping your food in the bin and storming out the room. The doors slammed loudly and everyone’s eyes were back on that table. Mira felt like there had been a spotlight shining on them the entire time.
Dona slumped back down to the bench and stabbed viciously at her food. “Fuck her. She’s so fucking damaged, I can’t deal with that right now.”
Mira frowned. “Don’t talk about her like that. She’s clearly going through stuff. You’re just saying this to cope with the fact she chose a boy over us.”
“I’m not coping with anything. She can go fuck off with Ran, I don’t care.”
Mira touched her friend's arm gently, trying to soothe down her anger. “She will be back. The second things turns out rough with Ran. I promise you that.”
PRESENT DAY
“(Name), is that you?” A soft voice called out from behind you. You froze, wondering who on earth at this wedding might possibly know you.
Turning around, you met the familiar eyes of Mira who looked at you confused for a moment, then widening her eyes before dragging you in for a hug. “Oh my god. I missed you so much.”
You raised your hand awkwardly, unsure what to say, what to do to her. You haven’t spoken to her since that fight in the cafeteria and that was months before you left the country. “...Hi…” you settled on that, mentally slapping yourself for not showing more emotion.
She pulled away and dried her eyes, wiping them with her sleeve. “I honestly didn’t expect to see you…ever again. This is…woah.”
“Yeah,” you cleared your throat, shifting awkwardly on your feet. “Neither did I. Also, what are you doing here…?” While she was wiping her face, you caught a glimpse of the ring on her finger and grabbed her hand. “No way.”
“Yes way. I’m engaged!”
“What the hell?! I’m so happy for you, Mira,” you said with a smile on her face, watching her go red at the mention of her fiance. “Who’s the lucky guy?”
“He’s on the police force. His name is Naoto. He’s actually related to the bride, Hina. You know her?”
You shook your head. “No. I’m here because Hiro wanted to get me out of the house but I’ve been out of place since I arrived.”
“I don’t blame you. I also feel a bit out of place, being here as a plus one too.”
“Oh, that sucks…” you said softly, chewing the inside of your cheek thinking what to say next. A comfortable silence fell over the both of you, which was expected. Eight years of no contact, this was sure to happen. “So…how’s Dona?”
“She’s…er…to be honest, I don’t know. We stopped speaking shortly after you left the country.”
“Oh,” you deflated. “Why? I wasn’t holding you guys back anymore.”
“It’s a long story.” A man approached Mira from behind and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her backwards for a hug to whisper in her ear. Must be the fiance. “Really?” she mumbled to him, craning her neck in order to hear him a little better. “Are you sure he’s going to be there?” Naoto nodded.
As the two of them spoke, you couldn’t help but feel a little jealous at how secure they seemed to be in their relationship. They were cute, and looked good together.
She turned around and grabbed his hand. “Can I bring my friend? I want to catch up with her.”
At that moment, Naoto seemed to just notice your presence. His black eyes met yours and you felt a tremor race through your body for some reason. He nodded at you and you bowed slightly, fiddling with your fingers as the two of them continued to whisper to each other.
“Okay, baby.” Mira planted a kiss to his cheek and he smiled, returning the kiss to her lips before walking away. Mira approached you slowly. “Want to come to this party with us? Naoto has business there and is meeting someone so I’m coming with him.” When you looked hesitant, she pleaded. “Please? I really miss you and I want to talk to you more.”
A voice in your head was telling you to just suck it up and go. You’re not in a position to lose any friends right now. “Okay, fine. I’ll go.”
At the after party, you ended up spending majority of the night with Mira and with the influence of alcohol, the conversations flew smoother, the both of you slowly getting back in touch with each other. She told you about how law school almost ate and swallowed her whole, and you told her all about living abroad in a dorm campus and how homesick you felt sometimes. Eventually during the night, Naoto joined the conversation and you found out more about him and his job at the police force. With the help of Mira’s big drunken mouth, she accidentally mentioned a special super top secret case his division was working on called Bonten and how one of the executives is apparently going to be here tonight, and he quickly slapped a hand over her mouth, laughing awkwardly and her eyes widened when she realised.
“Oh my god Naoto I’m so sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to say that,” she was almost crying out of frustration and Naoto spared a pity glance in your direction.
“Sorry about her, she gets very emotional when she's drunk.”
You nodded, muttering it’s okay and watched him whisk her away from the table. You were unsure why he reacted that way. It wasn’t like you knew anything about Bonten or whatever that’s supposed to mean. Without the presence of Mira, you began to feel overwhelmed in this big room with nobody to talk to, the alcohol in your system making your brain go fuzzy.
The room started to get too hot and you were beginning to feel beads of sweat begin forming on your forehead. Standing up, you grabbed your bag and went out through the back, grabbing a metal doorstop and placing it on the door. You sat on the staircase outside, taking in the night time view outside, the beautiful way the street lights lit up the streets and the sounds of cars passing by did wonders to your hazy mind.
“Ain’tcha cold?”
It took you a moment, too preoccupied with breathing in the fresh air outside that you failed to notice the presence of a man behind you. You turned around and looked up at a tall man, a black shadow casting over his face and body making it hard to see him clearly. He leaned against the wall, holding the metal door open with his foot, arms crossed over his chest and curled an eyebrow up at you, waiting for you to answer.
“I mean, kinda? But I don’t care,” you turned back to face the front and fiddled with your phone on your lap. “I’ve experienced worse.”
“Hm,” he hummed and lifted himself from the wall, taking a couple steps forward. He sat down next to you on the stairs and you got a whiff of his expensive cologne from the action. His body next to yours was overwhelming, and your shoulders nearly touched. “Do you remember me?” he asked a couple seconds later.
You turned to look at him for a split second then shook your head. He let out a short chuckle. “C’mon try harder. Dig deeper.”
With a word heavy sigh, you turned to look at him again. The first thing you noticed was he was attractive. His sharp jawline caught your attention first, his tattoo next. Then you met his eyes. Those goddamn eyes that no amount of alcohol could make you forget. You blinked for a couple moments, the movement slow as you tried to regain control over your muscles. “No way.”
If you're still doing requests can I suggest a fluffy/angsty ranxreader of their first moments if Vulnerability , they are finally in a real relationship and start getting closer and more intimate and ran struggles to open up and vice versa? (No pressure! love all the stories its so cool seeing how much your blog has blown up)
Hey anon!
As always, thanks for the kind words. I'm just trying to write stories for all the Ran fans - counting on her hand - all five of us out there.
Here you go, hope you gonna like it!
The mechanical menace
Ran x you, Ran x reader
moody!Ran, blood, injury, angst, fluff, angst and fluff, vulnerablility
Summary: As Ran and you easing into your relationship you both having a hard time to open up. This has to change when Ran’s mechnical hand starts to malfunction and they cannot fix it alone.
word count: 2k
sorry, not proofread.
Ran was cursing everything and everyone all afternoon, then you had dinner together – for the dinner they paused, but the moment they stood up from the table they continued. They started to get on your nerves, it has been two weeks since both of you had your afternoon and night free, and it was exactly two months ago that you got together. You wanted to have a good time with them, not dealing with Mx. Grumpy and their mood swings.
You hoped a cold shower would help them, so you sent them to take one. You smiled as they walked out of the bathroom in their boxer, with a still wet back and livid nipples from the cold water. You sat in the armchair in the bedroom, Ran went to the dresser to find a top.
“Where is that god-damned fucking T-shirt?” they cursed again.
“Which one?” you asked them, you wanted to help Ran.
“The one with the guitar on it?” Ran told you, they were still searching in the dresser.
You knew exactly where it is: “It’s in my bedroom, Ran.”
“What?” they turned to you, you could see on their face that they were very frustrated.
“You left it in my apartment the first time you slept at my place, remember?” you explained. You stood up, wanted to walk to them, but they stepped back.
“Great, just fucking great!” they yapped. They grabbed a shirt from the dresser and clumsily put it on. The T-shirt had a huge hole in its front, you were able to see their boobs in all their beauty. It almost calmed you, after their reply boiled your blood.
“I could bring it back next time.” you made your peace offering.
“I don’t care.” they told you blankly and they left the room without even looking at you.
You stood there with a horrible feeling in your heart and gut, and you tried to decide whether you are mad at them, or sad because they were an asshole.
You grabbed the book you were reading while Ran was showering and went to the living room and sat down onto the sofa. You heard that Ran was doing something in the kitchen. You didn’t even pay attention, your book absolutely mesmerized you, until you heard clamour from the kitchen, then Ran began to swear again.
“Ran?” you rushed to them.
Ran stood in the middle of the chaos. They tried to dry and put away the plates and utensils you used washed after dinner, but somehow, they dropped all of it.
“Fuck, don’t move, I will clean it up.” you told them as you looked around trying to find the broom.
“I *CAN* fucking clean it up.” Ran hissed, and they took a step back, they luckily dodged a shard of the shattered plates, and they did not step on it, but as they bent down and touched a bigger shard it cut their hand.
“Ran, this is what I tried to avoid!” you screamed at them.
“I can clean my own fucking mess up!” they yelled back at you, while their blood was dropping everywhere.
“WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?” you shrieked into their face. You had enough of their bullshit, you were ready to walk out of there.
“It’s none of your fucking business!” they replied without even thinking about what effect their words would have on you.
“Fuck you, Ran.” you turned your back on them, and headed for the front door to leave. You were mad, your hands were shaking, your blood pumped in your ears.
“No!” you heard Ran’s voice, they grabbed your hand with their mechanical hand.
“Let me go!” you tried to shake them off, your head was about to explode. The audacity of them.
“I’m sorry! Please, lemme explain!” Ran begged as their grip on your arm became stronger with each passing second.
You turned back to them, but their grip almost cut into your skin. “Ran!” you cried out as you grabbed their hand.
“I’m trying, but I can’t!” Ran tried to free you from their grip, tried to peel their cold fingers off of you with their other hand, but their mechanical hand was adamant, it didn’t move, even though Ran had no desire to hurt you. “It’s been malfunctioning for days!” they whimpered with terror in their voice.
“It hurts.” you cried out again, you tried to pull away in hopes you could shake their mechanical hands off.
“I’m so sorry!” Ran pulled away too and suddenly their hand let go of you, and with some buzzing and a small electrostatic discharge it turned off. You softly massaged the spot where they squeezed your arm, you were sure it would leave a mark. Your arm hurt badly, but as you looked down you saw that your shirt and your arm were covered with Ran’s blood, so did their mecha hand. The cut on their flash hand was deeper than either of you thought.
“Your hand!” you yapped and hurried to them.
“I’m so sorry, I swear it wasn’t on purpose.” they tried to explain, but you interrupted them.
“No, the other one you cut.” you pointed to the floor where a little pool of blood was formed already.
“Oh, that twat shit.” Ran cursed again which did not even surprise you. You heard more colorful curses that day than ever before in your life.
“Si’down!” you ordered them rapidly, and you headed to the bathroom to get their first aid kit.
The cut ran through their palm, it was a long one, but not deep enough to cause tissue damage. You cleaned out the wound as Ran endlessly repeated how sorry they are.
“It’s okay, you didn’t do it on purpose.” you repeated every time. “Just tell me, what happened? Were you pissed because of your mecha hand?”
“Yes.” they sighed. “Dunno what happened exactly. I think a panel got fried in my hand a few days ago when we got into a fight with the enforcers.”
You were trying to recollect all your electronic knowledge, but you knew you are not skillful enough to fix it alone, so you just hummed.
“You never told me how you lost your arm tho’.” you told them as you started to place the steri-strips on the cut.
“You want the lie I tell everyone to look cool, or the truth?” they asked you with a smirk.
“You can take a guess.” you smiled at them.
“Well, I was young… and I needed money.” they gulped.
“Holy shit, did you do porn?” you asked them outright. Ran stared at you and burst out laughing.
“No.” they chuckled, their whole body was shaking from laughing.
“Hey, hold still or you will start to bleed again.” you grabbed their wrist. “I’m almost finished.”
“Sorry.” they looked at you with puppy eyes. “But anyway, I was young, and I was hella poor, and I *DID NOT* do porn.” Ran winked at you. “But I was willing to bet with anyone about anything to get money, so I wouldn’t starve.”
“Uh-oh.” you had a bad feeling about it.
“Yea’. I bet with a tiny guy that I could beat him – Mark -, in arm-wrestling, you know, in the kind with the traps?”
“Oh no.” you whispered with wide eyes, your terror was visible on your face.
“Yeeaaaaaah.” Ran susurrated. You finished patching up their hand. “So, it turned out he was not Mark, his bodyguard was Mark. Soooo, my hand kinda got demolished by the trap.”
“Fucking hell, Ran!” you cried out in shock.
“But the tiny guy thought my screams were funny, so he actually paid for my mecha hand.” they told you with a giggle.
You just stared at them with disbelief in your eyes. You didn’t even want to imagine young, starving Ran as they screamed with their broken and bruised hand while a tiny guy was laughing beside the table.
You darted into their direction and hugged them with tears in your eyes.
“Hey, what is that for?” Ran asked you with confusion in their voice.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you.” you looked into their eyes as you sit back to your chair.
“I’m fine… well, fine now… or was… until this fuckface started to act up.” Ran sighed and shrugged as they raised their mechanical hand. “I tried to fix it last night, but I can’t do it with one hand.”
“You have everything you need to fix it?” you asked them with a plan in your head.
“Yes, I bought everything I need to change the panel, I just can’t hold and fix it with only one hand.” they explained.
“Why don’t we fix it then? I could help you.” you offered your assistance.
“I had other plans for tonight. We have been going strong for two months!” Ran told you and they kissed you.
“Yeah, after your little tantrums we almost did not last longer.” you admitted it to them with a weak smile. “But we could do the other plans even after fixing your hand or in the morning too. I don’t work tomorrow, and you have the afternoon shift. What do you say?” you kissed the tip of their nose.
“You sure you wouldn’t mind?” Ran asked with a peculiar face.
“Mhm. I’m here for you, Ran. I wanna help. Hell, you should’ve asked for my help, you know? I know you are not used to it, but still…” you pouted and crossed your arms before your chest.
“Ahem, the way you refused my help when you tried to assemble your new bedframe?” they teased.
“Okay, first of all, I had to buy a new one because you… well we broke it, and I was still pissed at you. And secondly, I *AM* quite capable of handling my shit.” you replied, still pouting.
“Ring a bell?” Ran smirked. “I think we both need to learn how to ask for help and accept help, hmm?”
They were right, you both had to get used to that someone was having your back, no matter what.
“Smartass.” you snorted with a small laugh.
***
A few hours later you were cuddling in bed after you finished fixing Ran’s mechanical hand. It was not an easy thing to do, as you had to do everything, because Ran’s freshly injured hand was no help at all. You laid atop of them, and Ran softly caressed your back.
“Wait, you didn’t tell me what the fake story is about how you lost your hand?” you remembered. You kissed Ran’s neck and nudged their jaw with your nose.
“It’s a story of a freedom fighter.” they smirked. “A story of someone who would kill for Zaun’s independence, who would die for it. And this person –” Ran pointed at themselves. They used a really calculated voice, a series face and a lot of hand movement as they got deeper into their story. “This freedom fighter fought many enemies, until one day a particularly aggressive enforcer group caught said freedom fighter, and after endless tortures they had to free themselves of their shackles so they could fight for another day. And for that, they had to break their own hand, sadly, that hand couldn’t be saved, but even with their broken hand they fought their way out of Stillwater. And it was all worth it, because in the end, that freedom fighter met the most beautiful woman of them all.”
You burst out in laughter. “Please don’t tell me that this story actually gets you into the ladies’ pants.”
“Ohohho, you would be surprised.” Ran let out a heartfelt laugh too. “Look me into the eye and tell me you didn’t get wet from the story.” they teased you as their hand wandered down on your back and they grabbed your ass.
“Dunno…” you tried to don a serious face. “Maybe if you could tell me how valiantly you fought your way out?” you giggled and buried your face between their boobs. Ran lifted your head and kissed you… then again, you stroked their jawline and lips and slowly, you got lost in each other’s arms.
𖨆♡𖨆 ran haitani x fem!reader, hanma shuji x fem!reader
╰┈➤ yearning for revenge after the untimely death of your father, you come to discover an underground organization called bonten and how its executive may have all the answers you need. the big catch? you were the first ever girl that broke his heart.
: ̗̀➛ explicit smut, mentions of a murder, guns, mentions of drugs, fear play, prostitution, mention of heights, daddy kink, creampie, mild exhibitionism, pet names (princess), spit kink, murder, blood, gore, torture, joint breaking, angst, mentions of a past relationship, mentions of a body disposal, slut-shaming, language, smoking, drinking, MDNI
masterlist 🌙
𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐈𝐍𝐆: 𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐊 #𝟏
The air tonight tasted of electricity, its charge sparking in your bloodstream.
Fidgeting in your skintight dress and boots, you wondered if you were a little overdressed considering how some of the girls milled around in skirts that barely covered their asses and crop tops that were just the barest suggestion of clothes upon their frames.
The bass boosting through the floors mimicked the palpitation of your heart and you steeled yourself, looking both ways before you crossed the street.
So, this was the infamous Haitani bar that everyone from your roommate, Kira, to her pimp was talking about. You could see why it generated much intrigue.
On the outside, the facade suggested a modest office building that boasted a helipad at its very top, like a flat cap over a square head. Rumour has it that the Haitanis liked to arrive to their own bar not in cars or even limos—but through their own private helicopter which gives them discreet entrance. The top floor, especially, was a cordoned-off area where only those who had a special pass could enter.
That, or to go in disguised as one of the many prostitutes Ran and Rindou hired to keep spirits up and the booze flowing all night long.
You had to hand it to them; those Haitani brothers were exceptionally good businessmen.
Tugging the hem of your dress down, you approached the bouncer who let you through with barely a glance at your ID. You frowned inwardly; shouldn’t security here be at its maximum capacity?
After all, Ran and Rindou were two of the most important Bonten executives—a position so feared that even the most hardened pimp would shudder at the name of Japan’s most notorious criminal organisation.
Downstairs, people were packed like sardines, girls hanging off random men’s laps or dancing in groups like a shoal of fish, bait for the sharks that lurked around the rooms.
You weren’t excused from their leering stares and kept your head down, sole mission in mind. In the elevator, you called for the highest level, the numbers on the keypad blinking every time you rose one floor higher. To calm yourself for what you had to do, you reached inside your purse for the faded photograph; your father’s smile bright in the palm of your hand.
I’ll do this for you, dad, was your silent promise. The elevator dinged and you walked towards the cordoned-off bar where the crowds were nonexistent, and all that stood between you and finding Ran Haitani was one stern looking bouncer. His muscles rippled almost threateningly under his suit, staring you up and down.
“No one is allowed to enter.”
You took in a deep breath and spoke in a low, but clear voice. “Haitani-san hired me.”
The guard arched a brow. “Which Haitani?”
Somehow, it felt like a trick question and when you answered Ran, it seemed that you had failed the test.
“Mr. Haitani is not the one that deals with hookers,” he all but growled, and despite the streaks of grey in his hair and noticeable age, you sensed without a doubt that he was able to manhandle you and toss you over the balcony railing if he so wished to.
Holding your ground, you gritted your teeth and forced out: "There must be some kind of mistake. I was requested to be here.”
The guard had evidently grown tired of this back and forth; he approached you and gripped your arm tightly, pushing you towards the elevator door. “Let go of me!” Your hunch was proven right; he was incredibly strong and did not let up, not even when you dug your heels in to impede him.
“I won’t tell ya again, miss,” he growled. “Please leave before I throw you off the fucking building myself.”
“One of his clients told me to be here!" You fought back, the desperation clawing up your throat.
His scowl deepened and a vein was threatening to pop from his temple. “Last chance. You’re gonna have to leave, miss.”
You physically and literally held your ground, gripping the railing with white knuckles. “Not until I see him.”
“Miss, I won’t ask you twice—“
“What’s going on here?”
As if he had turned to jelly, the guard released you and quickly folded into a bow. “Mr. Haitani, sir—“ you didn’t hear his babbling, your mind struggling to comprehend the deepness of that voice and how it brought back a surge of memories you could not ignore.
A smug smile, long, bleached-black hair that you loved running your fingers through, nights spent raiding the closest convenience stores, an empty phone log…
“… Ran?”
A beat of silence as he took in your face before the recognition set in.
“Y/N?”
He was different—no scratch that, he didn’t even look like his old self. Gone were the twin braids and dip-dyed bleached hair. Now, he sported a full hair of light purple locks that contrasted vividly with the frown that was etched on his face and the tattoo peeking underneath the collar of an expensive suit.
Before you could open your mouth, he reached out and gripped your shoulder, steering you towards the bar’s entrance.
“She’s with me.”
“I’m so sorry, Haitani-san, I—“ the guard’s splutters were not to be heard; Ran waved him off and trailed those hardened lilac eyes onto you. The press of his palm was warm on your bare skin.
“Didn't anyone warn you that this his bar isn’t a place for girls like you?”
You were surprised to say the least. It seemed as if those five years that you spent separated from him dissolved into nothing; he still spoke to you in that same infuriating manner like you hadn’t ghosted him out of the blue—like you hadn’t broken his heart.
“Girls like me?” For your credit, you were still as argumentative as ever. As his hard gaze bore into yours, you realised some things never changed.
Ran Haitani would always treat you like you were an errant child.
“My men are armed to the teeth and you could have walked out of here with more than a bruise,” was his retort. Your indignant anger faded a little when you eyed the tasteful bar decorations. It seemed like a different world existed up here compared to the crowded dance floor below. There was no thumping music, no drugs and no sharks waiting for you to let your guard down. Rather, bossa nova jazz music filtered over the speakers; even the people here were classier than you anticipated—all suits and dresses that tastefully showed off skin.
You stuck out like a sore thumb in your black bodycon and boots, and it appears you were not the only person who was aware of it. The women eyed you up and down, though the men were more discreet. But the one thing they all had in common? The moment it registered that Ran Haitani was beside you, all their gazes fell to the floor.
He led you to the outside bar where a few people mingled around, smoking cigars and joking amongst themselves in low tones. Ran chose a table closest to the balustrades. Immediately, two well-dressed waiters arrived to wipe down the table, set down some snacks as well as a bottle of whiskey—glowing almost amber in the half-light.
That bottle alone look like it could’ve cost more than your rent.
You sat down opposite him and watched as he removed a packet of cigarettes and a metal lighter. The click of it was loud in the silence and you didn’t know what compelled you to blurt out your next sentence, but it came out without a second thought, and you had to suffer the repercussions of his disbelief.
“Your guard didn't believe me when I told him I was a prostitute."
Those impassive lilac hues flickered onto you. “What?”
As if explaining yourself to a child, you spelled it out for him. “I’m a hooker, Ran.”
For a long moment, he did not speak. He reached forward to uncap the whiskey bottle, poured himself a cup and sat back in the plush chair. There was nothing on his face that indicated any real emotion he had towards his ex-girlfriend being in an unsavoury position, nor did he make fun of you for your new occupation. All he did was frown and said: “How’d that happen? You always said you wanted to go to business school and you’re pulling this type of shit?”
Something about the way he phrased that sentence made it feel like a slap to your face. “You don’t have to sound like my dad, Haitani.”
If there was one strange power you had over the feared Haitani brother, it would be the ability to make his blood boil with just a few words. "Huh? Do you need money? Is there someone pimping you out? What’s his name?”
You hadn’t expected him to launch into his righteous anger on your behalf, and you sat back, wide-eyed.
For Ran, he was in disbelief over how you had turned out in the five short years he lost contact with you. He had always admired your vision of climbing the corporate ladder and how you had mapped out the future together with him even knowing full well the dark path he had taken to build Bonten from the ground up together with his younger brother and a few other chosen men.
But, that was when you both were still fresh-faced twenty year olds and a novice to the hardships of life. In those years when you left him, he had climbed the ranks and claimed many, many lives to do so. His blood ran dirty with all the futures he had destroyed and you…
How did you end up like this?
You were always such a sweet thing; concern for others outweighing your need for self-preservation. A girl like you did not belong on the streets and the both of you knew it.
“I work for myself, Ran,” you clarified and he had to stop himself from shivering at how his name sounded on your lips. “I choose who I work with, when and how much I charge them.”
He was still at a loss, and the glass of whiskey he had ached for the whole evening seemed like contaminated water in this instance. Ran pushed it back and raised one perfectly groomed brow.
“Why?”
You fiddled with your fingers and stared out towards the scenery. If Ran had to choose one spot he could easily lose himself in, it would be this place. Rindou’s strategic choice of a bar faced the Tokyo skyline; from his perch, he could map out the outline of the Tokyo Exchange Building, a stout cube in the heart of the city. He could trace the rail lines, the jagged edges of the district of Roppongi where he and Rindou once reigned supreme.
“I… lost my dad,” you confessed. Similarly, he found himself at a loss too for what to say, his expression carefully construed to remain neutral. “He died shortly before we broke up. I… I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t know how to say it.”
The young executive tipped his whiskey around the glass and took a drag of his cig, unable to look you in the eyes. “I’m sorry for your loss,” he eventually said and followed up with another question which you could not easily answer.
“Is that why you dumped me?”
After five years of wondering, five years of searching out for answers and wracking his brain for something he might have done to piss you off, Ran was finally graced with the faltering of your expression.
He recalled stepping out of the elevator aching for a drink only to be confronted by the sight of someone who held the shape of you, a shape he could always easily map out even in the darkness. His heart had soared, but he tamed down the excitement, reasoning that of course it could not be you; he had done everything in his power to seek you out in those 1825 days he spent without you, where it seemed like you had dropped off the face of the earth.
Little did he know how the past could show up unannounced when one stopped searching for it. He still was not done trying to flay it apart and find out the truth.
“No, wait, scratch that,” his voice was rising in anger. “Is that why you ghosted me and blocked me on everything so I couldn’t reach out to you?”
You had always known Ran Haitani to wear his signature smirk; no matter if he was beating people up, stealing food from convenience stores or even bashing up boys taller than him with his baton; that same infuriating smile never faltered.
Until now.
Only you boasted the power to make the ever smug Ran Haitani drop his impassive facade to reveal a deep scowl. The words you practiced to explain to him all that had transpired in the past five years today seemed to elude you.
You could not reply to his interrogative questions and Ran sighed, cutting to the heart of things. “Why are you here?”
You bristled at his tone and glared towards the city view, involuntarily annoying him with your shifty reply and inability to tell him the truth.
“To enjoy the night sky.”
“No, fuck,” he gritted out and you held your breath. “Why are you really here, Y/N?”
A tremble of uncertainty passed between the both of you.
Fuck it. I'll just ask to see what his reaction is.
“I need a favour.”
Silence descended between both your tense forms. You had no idea what he was thinking or what his sudden loss of words entailed. All you sensed was that it didn’t bring you any good news.
But inwardly, you understood the gravity of what you were doing.
Picture this: you had a woman you swore to protect, to stay true to her because you both were madly in love with each other and one day, seemingly for no reason, she disappears and doesn’t pick up her phone or even answer her messages. What would you have done?
You knew, in the deepest pits of your conscience, that you were shameless; that you were nothing but a cold-hearted and calculating bitch for badgering a wounded man from your past for help when it was all your fault you turned out this way.
“A favour, eh?” He put out his cigarette and stared at you unblinkingly. “I'll give you a chance to ask it when you answer me this: How did a nice girl like you end up working the streets?"
You frowned at the accusatory tone he wore and glanced back down at your twined hands. “I…”
Your ex-boyfriend’s words were cutting you right down to the bone and you fought back the urge to cry. If it had been five long years Ran spent searching for a woman who had already lost herself, so what did he expect to find?
That you were the same girl who used to sing oldies in the middle of your shared kitchen wearing nothing but his shirt? Or, that you could coo over his wounds and patch them up, scolding him lightly to prioritise his safety?
No. That Y/N died the day you found your father in a pool of his own blood.
“I changed, Haitani.”
It seemed that Ran did not believe you. “Sure you did.”
Finally, you divulged the piece that was lingering in your mind, the final one that would give a full picture of the puzzle as to what happened in all those years you cut off contact with him.
“You would, too, if your father was murdered.”
A stifling quiet. “Huh?” Ran’s lilac eyes were piercing and all but shining with grim curiosity. “What happened?”
This was it. The final piece of the jigsaw puzzle you kept hidden from him; the pièce de résistance of how you ended up from being a good, hardworking girl to a scummy bedwarmer.
“I came back home one day after class and… our house had been broken into. H-he was in the kitchen—“ you spared the gory details and he did not press you for it. Instead, Ran lit one cigarette and passed it to you. You accepted it and breathed in the nicotine like it was fresh air, hoping that it would clear your mind.
“I'm sorry,” he said gruffly and followed your gaze towards Tokyo unfurling before your feet. You did not accept his apology, tears glimmering in your eyes from the unsuspecting pain still lingering in your soul. How you still were not over your father's death despite the years that had passed you by.
“But what I don’t get is why didn’t you tell me?”
If you could compare Ran’s anger to a flame, it would be a slow flickering light over a vat of gasoline. Sure, he was the most trigger happy brother, but he did it out of the genuine thrill of taking down his enemies—because certainty of what was black and white was always his constant companion. And in this instance, Ran did not know who was a friend or who was a foe.
“You fucking disappeared into thin air, Y/N.” A heavy disquiet fell over the both of you. “I searched for you, y’know? Thinking that it was a mistake; that you didn’t mean to leave. I wanted answers but the more I searched and dug up shit I realised something… maybe some answers just don’t want to be found.”
You took another drag of the cigarette, trying to keep the tremble out from your tone and hide your wet eyes by keeping your gaze off him. “I didn’t do it out of spite, Ran.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
That lachrymose needing to burst out into tears would not survive the truth. “I can’t answer that for now.”
Ran’s grip tightened around his glass. “So you think you can waltz in here, demanding to see me and I would give you everything you need? Stop the whole world for you again like how I used to?”
Anger flared through your chest, hot and insistent.
“Fuck—I’m not asking you to save me, Haitani! I’m just… I just wanna know…” your voice fell into a whisper and so did your hope. “I just wanna know who killed my dad and why... why’d they have to do it.”
You would have thought he would be more sympathetic, and not say, “He wasn’t a good man, Y/N. I know this because if he was, he wouldn’t have gone out that way.”
Part of you couldn’t believe he had said that, but this was Ran Haitani you were talking about; a man of rationalism and bruteness. His occupational hazard was leaving men like your poor father in that state. You pressed on.
“That’s why I needed to see you. To ask if you knew something.”
Those usual sleepy lilac eyes turned hardy like stone. “No.”
You could barely believe he was doing this, the anger coating the back of your throat. The city’s lights wavered in your periphery from your tears of desperation.
“W-what? What do you mean 'no'?”
He stood up, and people were glancing at the both of you; the crestfallen look on your face and the disproving one on his indicative of an argument. If you were in the right frame of mind, your cheeks would've warmed from how the both of you were causing a scene.
“I don’t know anything. Sorry. Can’t help you.”
Before you could hammer in your plea, he took his jacket off the chair and slung it over his arm, unable to even look at you.
“Wait—please!”
You stood up and rushed to his side, gripping his sleeve. A few women gasped at your audacity. It appeared you were gathering an even bigger audience from your stupid stunt—even the waiters carrying drinks and food paused in their tracks.
Ran ignored each of them and coolly glanced down at you with those infuriatingly beautiful eyes. He tugged his arm away and sneered down at your betrayed expression.
“Y/N, this isn’t something you want to get into.”
You grasped onto that little glimmer of truth he had unwillingly divulged, the wobble in your lower lip unmistakable.
“So, you do know something. You know who could have done this.”
Apparently, he registered his slip-up and he turned his face to glare at the ground, a mirthless chuckle leaving his lips. “I told you. I’m clueless.”
“Stop fucking treating me like a child, Ran!” Your outburst caught even you off guard and the air suddenly became stifling, despite the open sky staring down at your fury.
“You’ve always been like this! Y/N don’t do this or Y/N stop that like I’m some kind of—helpless child. I’m not, Haitani. I’ve seen shit." You were beyond desperate, trying to convince him to tell you the truth by giving up parts of your gory life for him to review.
"I’ve seen a man get shot where he stood, police dragging out mutilated bodies of the girls I work with from dumpsters—so many fucked up things. You don’t get to tell me that I can’t even know the truth when I... when I became like this just to find it!”
He did not entertain your callous words, lips pressed in a tight line.
"Sorry." At least he gave you the courtesy of a final apology before turning around to walk away.
“Haitani—“
You ran after him and gripped his arm, refusing to let him go.
In your mind, the images of your father's mangled body flashed, exacerbating your exasperation.
“Fuck!” he snarled, wrenching his arm away and staring down at you with such a virulent expression, you were almost scared if you didn't know that Ran Haitani was physically incapable of hurting you. “I’ll say this one last time, Y/N—drop this now before it’s too late.” The tension swirled around both your taut figures, taunting you with the urge to lean in and bridge the gap.
Unadulterated stubbornness clashed with the sudden gleam in his eye. You were close enough to smell the whiskey and nicotine on his breath.
Your baser instincts took over, your body trying to convince him in a way your words could not.
“Y/N—mmph.”
Your lips collided with his, hands clawed to the front of his shirt, pulling him in deeper. It wasn’t a seduction as it was a last desperate pitch to get him to listen—and the only way Ran would ever listen to you was when he was quiet. He drew you closer, one hand around your neck and the other on the small of your back. The air in the bar got thicker and you wrapped your arms around his neck, drinking the familiarity of his solid body pressed to yours. He pulled back slightly, lips swollen and shook his head, a lazy and exasperated smirk worming its way across those delectable lips.
“You’re so infuriating.” As he spoke, he found your zipper, dragging it down and you squeaked, darting your eyes towards the group of spectators who were all but gawking. Ran was brazen, but he wouldn’t be as bold to fuck you in front of a bunch of people… right?
Ran followed your line of sight and clicked his tongue, understanding your silent mortification.
“Fuck off! The bar’s closed!” he called over the easy music. As if he were a king decreeing his rigid word, the bouncers ushered the patrons away from the balcony, the lights dimmed low and even the employees were forced to leave the premises. The head guard bowed to him, closing the doors with a resolute click. Just from his bidding alone, the both of you were left alone.
Suddenly, all your bravery had dried up and you glanced down at his broad chest, unable to meet his eyes.
“Not so bold now, huh, princess?” he drawled and like a cat toying with a mouse, he cornered you against the balustrade with both arms caged around your body.
It was too quiet, the air too thick with electricity. You swallowed hard and looked up into those eyes you had found solace in so many times before your world was turned on its head. There was no denying it—you missed him with every fiber of your body and the beat of lust that had ignited from his lips on yours roared into a fire that threatened to incinerate the rest of your self-control.
“We’re alone now,” he murmured, running his nose down your neck, inhaling your light scent. “Was this your plan all along?”
“No,” the quake in your voice seemed like you were lying.
“You know I don’t like liars, Y/N,” he said, voice gravelly and deep, causing shivers to run down your spine. He was far too close, his indulgent scent of coffee, musk and tobacco was seeping into your every pore; you could not stop yourself from pitching forward and pressing your face to his neck to hide the wobble in your lower lip.
Ran sighed and irritably flicked his jacket onto the floor, the material making a heavy thud sound.
The press of his warm palms on the small of your back deteriorated the last of your hesitation.
“Ran…” you licked your dry lips, finding a shred of courage to look up at him with wide, pleading eyes. “Want it.”
“Want what?” His purring deep tone made your knees weak. If it weren’t for the cool stone and his arms around you, you would’ve melted onto the ground to join his pristine jacket.
Lower lip trembling and thighs clenching, you whispered, “I want you.”
Ran’s reaction was instantaneous. He picked you up by your thighs and placed you onto the balustrade where a ten-floor drop yawned below you. Squeaking in fear, you involuntarily wrapped your arms around him and buried your face in his chest again.
“Ran—!”
“Don’t worry, baby,” he moaned, kissing down your neck. “Ain’t gonna drop you.”
Those hot stamps in the shape of his lips were messing with your resolve and you groaned, head was thrown back, only the steel ropes of his arms and your thighs tensing around his waist anchoring you to safety. If you were a ship besieged in the middle of the storm, Ran was the roiling sea under you, ready to suck you into his depths.
“Someone can see us,” you hissed, knowing full well that if any passersby looked up, they would catch sight of two lovers on the balcony. He hummed, shaking his head with that shit-eating grin still etched across his lips.
“Baby, Rin and I own this bar. They ain’t seeing anything. ‘Sides, if they open their mouths, they won’t live to tell the tale.”
The wind whipped through your hair, stinging your eyes and you squeezed them closed, tilting your head back once he reached the valley of your breasts. Growling like a lion who had been held too long in captivity, he tugged the stretchy fabric down, exposing the lacy bra you wore to his heated stare.
“Shit,” he swore and planted more of those pussy-clenching kisses down the length of your throat.
“Ran,” you mewled, the heel of your boots digging into his lower back. Lost in his touch, you almost didn’t feel him tip you back, and you screamed once you felt the near loss of gravity, wildly scrambling to bury your white-knuckled grip in the back of his vest and hair.
“Ran!”
He secured his arms tighter around your waist, chuckling lowly into your ear. “Look at you—such a filthy little slut who wants my cock so badly she doesn’t care if she’ll fall.”
Rather than cowering in fear, his words served to heighten your arousal and you humped your drooling core across his cloth-covered bulge, trying your best to get as much friction as you could onto your aching pussy. “Oh, please,” you whimpered, pawing at his tie, removing it swiftly and throwing it down onto the cobblestone floor. Panting lightly, you managed to mutter, “N-need this.”
You hastily unbuttoned his vest to expose the crisp white dress-shirt he wore, making quick work of the first three buttons. Your mouth chartered a path from his chin to his neck, sloppily working in kisses mingled with frantic sucks of his skin, leaving reddened spots close to his gang tattoo. Trembling fingers touched the design, remembering the first day he came back home to eagerly show you the press of ink in his skin.
We’re gonna be rich, baby.
The both of you had seemed so young back then and a part of you ached for an innocence that was gone too soon.
His low groans resonated in your ear and you squeaked again when he used one arm to hold you fast to his chest while the other wormed its way under the hem of your dress, feeling for your panties. Catching two nimble fingers on the seat of the flimsy material, you felt him twist it and before you could stop him—
Riiiip.
As if your panties were nothing more than a sugar in hot water, they disintegrated into lacy tatters on the floor.
“Those were my favourite pair,” you moaned when he returned the favour and bit down on the delicate skin behind your ear.
“Fuck—will get you new ones,” he breathed heavily, tongue tracing the shell of your sensitive lobe. “I'll get you a whole wardrobe of lacy, naughty things. You want that?”
You murmured something that sounded like yes Daddy and he grinned, already loving how easily you slipped into your submissiveness. If there was one thing Ran loved more than anything in the world, it would be to bend you over anywhere he wished—over his knee, the head of the couch, even pressing you onto the hood of his car—and take you then and there. You were always such a pliant, sweet, little thing for him, and it made his blood boil to think of how much you had denied him in these past five years.
Rough hands tugged down the cups of your lacy bra, palming the plush flesh of your breasts. “Missed these fucking tits,” he muttered lewdly and before you could chastise him, he bent his head forward, almost tilting you at a dangerous angle just to latch his mouth onto your nipple. Your heart was beating wildly, your hair flowing freely in the wind. Every stroke of his tongue on your tender buds made you moan wantonly, and all you could do was stare at that angelic face and sinful mouth working one turgid nub and then another with that maddening tongue, your nipples soon shiny with spit.
In the half-dark, the sharp points were silhouetted against the city lights obscenely. A soft hum indicated he was pleased with his handy work.
He tugged you closer to his chest and attacked your mouth, numbing your complaints with those maddening kisses. Ran held your bottom lip open with that same hand that ripped your panties and a globe of spit left his mouth and dripped onto your waiting tongue. The instruction was implicit: Swallow. You did, an obedient plaything to his wills.
“Bet you liked that, don’t you, you little slut?” he crooned and your cheeks flushed, your hand moving down to cup the front of his slacks.
“Stop teasing,” you huffed and he grinned widely.
His free hand wandered down your thigh, finding your bare pussy, gently rubbing your already soaked lips.
“Ran—!”
He sensed your hesitance to accept his ministrations when your body tensed and he pressed his forehead to yours, lilac locks tickling the bridge of your nose.
“Give in fully to me, baby.”
You didn’t answer him, on a high from how he was tracing your folds, the gentle way he dipped his index finger teasingly into your clenching hole.
“Mm, your pussy seems to want this,” in a firm but silky tone, “I know you want this.”
You did not have to answer him; your arched back and the ripple of your walls around his intrusive finger more than gave him enough of an answer. “Gonna make up for not fucking you in those five years.”
You were close to a delirious fever pitch, needing him to finally fuck you. “Ran, more—please.”
“Already begging?” He slipped another finger in, instantly finding your sweet spot and pressing down on it. Hard. “Hmm, so eager.”
You jolted as if you were touched by a live wire. “Want you!” In a softer, supplicant tone you whined, “Need you—please.”
Ran could not say no, especially when you begged so nicely. He unbuttoned his slacks and slipped his hard length out, the familiar curve, veins and head making you almost salivate with joy. In one swift thrust, he sheathed himself into your heat, the both of you moaning with relief.
He swore that you looked like a fallen angel in that moment; your flushed cheeks, wide eyes, bare tits that jiggle with every slam of his pelvis into yours, getting him to almost believe in God.
Almost.
Your eyes were closed, head lolling back and he sensed that if he let you go and you fell to your demise, you would probably die with a satisfied grin on your face. But, of course, he wouldn’t do it—Ran Haitani would be a fool to let his favorite plaything go.
“My cock got you drunk, baby?” That low, rasping voice gave you goosebumps and all you could do was mewl, hands tangling with his lilac locks, your desperate gaze pinning him to the spot with begrudging awe. Years of knowing every dip, divot and curve on your body made him keenly aware of the cues you would give off—his most favorite green light in the world, one that signaled you were close to a release.
“You gonna cum for me like this?” One hand found your clit, strumming it in time with his clean thrusts. “Gonna cream all over my cock in front of the whole city?”
“M’gonna—“ Cut off by a choking moan, all you could do was squeeze your eyes tight, only able to take this ride of your life.
The sloppy meeting of his cock in your silken walls mingled with both your harsh breathing and Ran felt that telltale stir in his balls that he was going to fucking blow his load and all you could do was take it. He didn’t care if you weren’t on birth control or if this was what you did with the filthy men that you picked up on the streets; in this instance, your pussy was his, and he would show that pretty little cunt that he alone was her master.
“Yeah? Do it.” He goaded as his thumb rubbed frantic circles on your engorged and sensitive nub. “Fucking cum for me, princess.”
You jerked in his grip like a puppet strung too tightly and lost all restraint and shame, tossing your head back with a scream of his name, the sight so fucking magnificent in the haze of the flickering lights behind you that Ran thought himself to be in love again.
Every muscle in your body seized and his most favorite ones—the walls of your pussy—practically milked him dry. Ran was not even the least bit disgruntled that he was panting like a bitch in heat, fucking the last of his cum deep into your cervix.
The both of you took a second to just breathe.
Thank fuck for the open air—the smell of sex was sure to permeate every pore of his body, just like that tantalising vanilla perfume you wore.
Ran was gentle when he brought you back to your feet, toeing the scraps of what used to be your panties into a corner. Memories of how clingy you could be after every round of sex burned through his mind and he halfway expected you to cling onto him like a sleepy koala. That assumption was dashed when you stepped away from him, tucking your tits back into your bra and lifting the straps back in place.
Despite his silent disappointment, he helped you straighten the hem of your dress and you reached out to button back his vest; a team effort at getting decent once more.
Ran sat back down onto the plush chair, and this time, you sank into his lap, uncapping the bottle of whiskey and pouring a fresh glass.
You passed him the amber liquid and he took it from you with a nod.
“You alright?”
Sheepishly, you picked up his cigarettes and lighter, taking a moment to spark the flame before touching it to the butt of your white stick, the dancing flicker imprinted in the back of his eyelids whenever he blinked.
“Yeah.”
He drank and you smoked. Ran didn’t care that his seed was seeping out and staining his slacks, nor did he care that a bit of your ash fell onto his leg. He merely brushed it aside, wishing he had the courage to mimic that same motion with a stray piece of hair kissing your forehead.
“Usually I’d charge you a hundred an hour, y’know.”
Humour. You always used a joke to deflect the seriousness of a situation.
“Tell me about your life on the streets.” It wasn’t a request, and you could hear the steel under his soft tone, this one attempt to fill in the blanks of your new life something he found himself immensely curious on.
“It’s good money,” you sighed, and took another drag, the smoke unfurling past your kiss-swollen lips. “I live just by Roppongi with another hooker. She was the one who made this lifestyle sound so glamorous.”
In a softer tone, you held a faraway look in your gaze that was trailing across the city line. “The first time I did it, I sobbed like a baby afterwards. Felt dirty. But, you eventually get used to it—the leers, the pawing. I always made them wear rubber, though, so you don’t have to worry.”
He tightened his grip on the glass and swallowed down his disapproval with another mouthful of liquor. This is not you, Y/N.
You gave him a small smile and Ran bit back the urge to taste the nicotine off your tongue. “You’re the first guy I’ve ever let raw me in a long time. Well technically, you’re still the first guy.”
He tried not to let his surprise show, preferring to huff a silent laugh. A memory of you, five years younger, head on his chest and a sleepy confession passing your lips, flashed through his mind. I know this is my first time and all… but holy shit—you blew my brains out, Haitani.
Ran sat down the glass and wrapped his arms around you, perching his pointed chin on your shoulder. “I usually don’t help hookers… but I’ll make an exception for ya.”
You stubbed out the cig onto the stone wall, dusting the ash from your fingers. “Don’t pull my leg.”
Stubborn bitch.
“Nah. I’m serious,” he said, grin growing wider at the surprise settling onto your features. “I’ll see what I can find.”
He nudged you off his lap and picked up his jacket, shaking the dirt off from the expensive material. From his pocket, he procured a stiff card. “Here’s my number. Call me if you need anything.”
You turned the square in your fingers like it was a rare diamond you were studying, eyes shining. He was about to leave you alone with your thoughts when a soft call of his name punctured through the night like the clicking of a gun.
“Ran?”
The tall, Bonten executive swiveled back to face you, and he almost wished he didn’t. If he thought you were gorgeous in the throes in your orgasm, it was nothing compared to how you were looking at him now.
Swallowing back against the panic rising in his chest, he fixed you with a neutral gaze. “Hmm?”
Your answering smile was almost tender. “Thank you.”
He swore his heart skipped a beat.
And in that instance, a single, shred of doubt blossomed in his mind as he mulled over on the thought that if helping you was the right thing to do.
“Alright, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”
The stench of blood was thick in his nose, but Ran never took his eyes off the rivulets of red streaming into the man’s mouth. They had found him by the wharf and kidnapped him at gunpoint, bringing him down to Sanzu’s secret hideout to keep wandering eyes and ears from telling on them to Mikey. They were already in the midst of evading a drug bust and the leader of Bonten did not need this side quest to clutter his already burdened plate.
Ran had sworn them all to secrecy and here they were; Sanzu probably somewhere getting high off his fucking mind and Rindou beside him, rolling the sleeves of his shirt up and cracking his knuckles for another round.
“Wait, no—argh!”
Like breaking a biscuit in half, Rindou dislocated the man’s other finger joint, his other four twitching helplessly in abject agony. If there was one person he could trust to torture someone without spilling blood, it would his younger brother. The man spat out a globe of red and whimpered.
Well… maybe a tiny bit of blood had to be involved.
Ran’s voice was low and grim. “Answer, now. Name, location, or description.”
“I can’t tell you,” the bald-headed man gasped and flinched when Rindou bore down on him again. “Please! He’ll kill me if he finds out.”
The younger but no less feared Haitani brother wrapped two fingers around the underling's thumb. “Say, do you know what happens when you break someone’s thumb? Unlike the index or middle finger, it doesn’t heal. You know that? The ligament here—” he pressed the soft skin between the man’s index and thumb hard, his choked screams echoing across the decrepit walls. “—is all but paralysed if someone’s thumb snaps.”
Rindou shrugged and Ran had to bite back a laugh at how terrified the man looked. “Gonna be hard to explain to your boss how you can’t even shoot a Glock if you got no thumbs, huh? What are they gonna do to you—make you hold their cigarettes instead with your wrists? Kinda pathetic if you ask me.”
“No, please—”
“Last chance,” Rindou intoned in his usual bored fashion. “Name, location or description.”
The man threw his head back, his bound hands twitching, his thumb ransomed in Rindou’s unyielding grip. Eventually, he decided that the fate of his ligaments must’ve been more important; if this asshole was on his team, Ran would have shot him between the eyes with no hesitation at how easily he gave up his leader’s name.
“Kisaki Tetta.”
Fuck!
The two brothers shared a glance. You wanna do this? Rindou asked silently through a raised brow. Ran shrugged, as if to say, looks like we gotta do it, man.
Before the man could exhale in relief that his thumb was safe, Ran whipped out his gun and shot him point blank in the head. Warm flecks of blood and brain like the bursting of an overripe fruit splattered across his and Rindou’s faces. The shot echoed across the walls, the shell clattering onto the ground. The smell of smoke and blood hung in the air and Ran grunted, striding angrily towards the entrance of the warehouse, fumbling for his lighter.
“You really wanna do this?” Rindou easily caught up with his older brother, strings of blood caught in his purple mullet. He looked in a desperate need of a shower.
“I promised her, Rin.”
The younger Haitani resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Behind him, he heard Sanzu’s maniacal laughter and no doubt his superior would make sure that still-warm body would find its way down into the depths of the river; that man’s name, history and legacy wiped away together with the current. Despite his position, Bonten’s number two found extreme pleasure in cleaning up after the goriest of scenes and who was Ran to deny him his fun?
“Yeah, but she dumped you last time. You passed that?”
Ran leaned against his McLaren, a twin model of Rindou’s car but in jet black rather than muted silver. “You said it yourself—it’s all in the past.”
Rindou stole a white stick from his brother and stuck it between his teeth, grunting. “I really hope you know what you’re getting into. Kisaki’s gonna be a bitch to get through.”
Ran inhaled the curls of smoke in a rendition of a sigh. “It’s not impossible.”
“All for her, huh?”
The older Haitani narrowed his eyes and Rindou sensed when to back off. The story of his brother and his ex-girlfriend was one that he didn't have the full facts to. All he knew was that you upped and left one day and never reached out to Ran again.
Rindou snorted inwardly. As much as it hurt Ran’s ego to be left before he could do the leaving, he could see how his brother was clearly still in love with you.
Poor bastard.
“No. Her dad was a good man. I don’t know what shit he got himself in with Kisaki of all people but it wouldn’t hurt to find out more.”
Rindou stared off into the harbor, inhaling his next drag deeply. “Why?”
He had expected Ran to snort or brush him off when any mention of emotion was brought into the ring. Not to look at him with burning eyes and a hopeless sneer.
“The look on her face, man. It was like… like she didn’t have a will to live anymore. Not until she was telling me about him. Fuck, I mean… I gotta at least try.”
As much as Rindou was itching to knock some sense back into his brother, he thought about you and how you were like a rock to him all those years ago.
Once upon a time, Rindou was pretty sure that Ran was going to marry you; Bonten was a second priority to him, the first being the only woman the older Haitani had ever loved. The day you left was the day the last shred of Ran's humanity died.
After that, his brother was never the same again.
“Fuck—fine. But only because I’m actually related to you. If it was anyone else I would’ve left your ass out in the cold.”
A shadow of that lovesick grin that had been missing these past five years tugged on the corners of his lips, eliciting a sudden surge of nostalgia in the younger Haitani's chest.
“Thanks, Rin.”
Rindou rolled his eyes and stamped out his cigarette with the tip of his shoe.
“Yeah, yeah. Fuck off.”
“So, you’re the flavour of the month.”
You turned towards the unexpected, smug voice and found a young woman with red-painted lips sneering at you.
The same bossa nova music tinkled in the background and you tightened your denim jacket around your shoulders to ward off the frostiness of her forced smile.
“Excuse me?”
“Ran Haitani—you’re trying to land him.”
That glint in her eye was familiar. This woman was jealous and rather than lashing out at your ex-boyfriend, she was egging you on. Must’ve been an ex-fling, by the looks of it. You snorted inwardly. Unlucky bitch.
“No, I’m not trying to land him at all,” you retorted mildly and resisted the urge to flip her off. “I’m just using him for sex.”
A low chuckle broke through the tension and your eyes widened at another face from your past. Sleepy lilac eyes, a languid smile and a shaggy mullet the same hue as his brother’s locks. Rindou Haitani stood before you right in the flesh.
“Damn. Good to see you still have that mouth on you, Y/N.”
You threw one last glare at that woman who had scampered away the moment a Haitani was nearby and rolled your eyes. A playful smile teased your lips; you always had a good relationship with Rindou, and though he was a year younger than you, he didn’t find the need for formalities and you admired him for that.
After all, keeping up pretenses could be exhausting.
“Nice to meet you again, Rin.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he waved off your grin with a lazy one of his own. “Cmon, Ran’s up at the deck. Heard things got a little… heated there.” He let you hit his shoulder just like old times and you chuckled at his audacity. Like older brother, like younger brother.
“Shut up, Haitani.”
He wrapped an arm around you in a familial way. “Grumpy ass bitch.”
Rindou dropped his arm the moment Ran came into view. The deck was once more empty, the patrons forbidden from entering this space now that the two owners were here and wanted their privacy.
Ran’s lilac eyes roamed across your features and he shot you a grin. “Hey. We got the info you’re searching for.”
Your heart sped up and you sank down on the plush chair where Rindou had gathered, hands laced over your lap. “You did?” Ran nodded and sat next to you, the heat of his body radiating comfort despite the tension, and if Rindou’s eyes were not on the both of you, you would have laid your head on his shoulder, if not just to feel its broad strength underneath your cheek.
“Kisaki was the one who ordered your father’s death.”
That name was unfamiliar to you; none of the other girls you worked with who serviced gang members had ever mentioned a Kisaki. Ran sensed your palpable confusion. “He runs a new organisation—Valhalla 2.0. It used to be one of the top delinquent groups years ago, together with Toman. He’s been trying to revive it back to its glory days.”
Your silence perturbed both brothers though they did not show it. They’ve both been trained for the longest of time in the art of observation to determine someone’s next move and from the look on your face, it seemed that you were steeling yourself for a hard decision. However, they didn't expect what you would say next.
“I guess I’ll have to infiltrate it.”
“It won’t be easy,” Rindou said after a moment of silence, leaning back against the chair, an edge in his dark gaze.
“You’ll have to be trained,” Ran supplied.
Another twist of your hands. “I never thought it would be. But I’ll do it—for him.” Rindou must’ve known who you were referring to, most likely hearing it from Ran, as he did not ask any further questions.
Ran was more cautious of the two brothers. “You’re gonna do this on your own?”
“I have to,” you bowed your head towards both brothers so they couldn’t see the tears coruscating in your eyes. “Thank you for your help. I am indebted to you both.” Sensing that your short time together with them was up, you stood up and meant to walk away. This was all the help you would ask from them—you couldn’t expect anything more.
Any bit of intelligence in the underground world that all three of you belonged to came with a harsh price, and you had no doubt as to how the brothers had to dirty their hands to get you this information. The last thing you wanted was to overstep on their kindness.
“Wait.”
You paused.
It was Ran who asked, “How’d you like a spot in Bonten?”
Heart in your throat, you almost thought you were hallucinating from the heights and the smoke. “Bonten?” you repeated slowly.
Ran nodded, flashing you a small smile, one that reminded you of the same sheepish grin he wore whenever he bought you your favourite flowers. “We’ll train you up, get you an entry point and then you’ll strike. Sounds fair?”
This was more than fair; Ran was literally handing you your revenge on a silver platter and you would be a fool to deny this offer.
“Deal.”
Later when you had gone back to Roppongi and it was just the two brothers and their closing bar, Rindou broached the topic with him. “So, you’re just gonna Rescue Armour your little girlfriend like Pepper Potts so she can do your dirty work?”
Ran tore his eyes away from the skyline and snorted.
“She’s not my girlfriend. And second of all, who still watches Marvel movies?”
Rindou sensed it would be useless to fight with his brother once his mind was made up and he only hoped that Mikey would turn a blind eye to this.
Who knows? Perhaps once you infiltrated Valhalla and brought Kisaki down to the dirt where he belonged, Mikey might give them both a big enough raise to open another bar; this time one in the heart of the district they grew up in.
“Apparently not losers like you.”
Ran snorted and touched his suit pocket where his trusty baton was, much to his younger brother’s annoyance. “How’d you like the taste of steel on your ass, Rin?”
“Ew. Save that kinky shit for your girl, man.”
“She’s not my girl.” Another weak denial. Fuck, Ran was getting shittier at lying day by day; Sanzu would be disappointed in him.
“And I’m the fucking Queen of England.”
“Fuck off.”
Yup. His brother was completely and utterly whipped for you. Rindou reached out to flick Ran’s forehead, a smirk replacing his usual languid smile.
“Simp.”
a/n. feedback and comments are appreciated. even though this is a reuploaded fic lmao
He promised. Ran Haitani promised to you that he’d never do it again. Of course you knew it was all a lie, just a pretty little lie that had you believing he was actually going to change for the better.
What a foolish thought.
There he sat in front of you, his collarbones peppered with red and purple bruises, not from fighting. Ran didn’t even bother hiding it from you, the least he could’ve done was to button his white polo all the way up and seal those marks that didn’t belong to you—love bites that never came from you—at least that way it would be out of sight and out of mind. Like it always was.
Your eyes were boring holes onto his lower neck, thinking that staring at them hard enough would make them completely disappear from your thoughts and your sight. But it didn’t. It was still there, freshly painted due to its vibrant colour.
“Was she as good as you thought?” your eyes travelled up to meet his amethyst ones. It held everything but regret. The short-haired man across from you furrowed his brows and he looked at you like you were some kind of freak, like you had just told him the most outrageous fact to ever exist.
Ah, here comes the gaslighting, you thought.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about?… Are you going to eat that?” He dropped the topic faster than the speed of light and pointed his fork at the tasty dessert sitting on a plate, untouched. Mont blanc, his favourite.
You closed your eyes, letting out a deep sigh before shaking your head and pushing the small plate towards your boyfriend. “Ran, please. Can we just talk this out? I know you’ve been cheating on me.” Again, you wanted to add but figured it wouldn’t even make a difference.
You already knew what was going to come out of his mouth next, you always did. It was like some kind of routine at this point and you were getting tired. Tired of it all.
“I’m sorry I won’t do it again. You know you’re the only one I love, right?” he replied like he’d been practising the line since this morning. Ran didn’t even bother looking at you, he was too focused on the delicious treat in front of him, eagerly digging into it and savouring every bite.
The first time he said those words to you, you believed it. The second time he did, you swore you were going to leave if he did it again. But you didn’t leave by the third time. Now, you’ve lost count but you couldn’t blame this all on Ran. You had the liberty to leave him and walk out of his life to never return again.
But you didn’t.
You didn’t know if it was because of the failed relationships you’ve had in the past or simply the luxuries of life that Ran was able to provide you. And he provided splendidly. Ran was a man of his words, you tell him you want something? You’ll get it the next day. A big box that sat on your shared bed, topped with a red ribbon.
You always got what you wanted with him. Apparently, this didn’t apply when asking for his faithfulness and for the sake of your relationship.
The first few months were completely different with Ran, he treated you like you were the only thing that mattered to him, he looked at you like you were this precious jewel that he somehow managed to get his hands on.
He didn’t only shower you with gifts but with love as well but things changed as your relationship progressed and you didn’t know what happened to him.
Maybe it was also because Ran knew that you would never leave him. He was too good to be broken up with and you hated it because it was true. No other relationships in the past could provide you with luxuries this well, and they also weren't any different from Ran, you caught your past boyfriends with other women too.
So you thought, if I’m going to be with a cheater then why not a rich one?
At the very least, Ran provided endlessly unlike the other men you had in the past. Plus, the pleasure he gave you was… unforgettable. It was different. It felt like there was actually some kind of love laced with it despite him barely showing you any.
You knew you deserved better than to be treated like someone with no feelings but the hold Ran had on you was tight.
“Do you want Saint Laurent? We can drop by after this.”
You hated yourself for being so easy, you hated how easily he can buy back your love with pretty things and just the simple swipe of his card. It felt dirty and disrespectful to yourself but deep down you liked his materialistic approach. You always had a keen eye for the luxuries and something in you just couldn’t resist them.
Sighing, you looked away and tightly nodded. Ran smirked to himself, once again he was reassured that you weren’t going anywhere any time soon.
“I forgot to tell you, Rindou is hosting at our club tonight, did you want to go? He’d been working on some new mixes so I think he’d appreciate us being there.” he looked at you, waiting for you to meet his gaze but you never did as you nodded again.
—
A sea of bodies moved to the beat of the music blasting from the speakers, strobe lights occasionally illuminating their dancing bodies. The club was packed, as you expected, after all, it was Rindou who was DJing tonight’s club that he and Ran owned. He was good at what he did, that's why people kept coming back for more.
You and Ran sat in one of the VIP booths which had a nice view of Rindou manning the controller up on the stage, he clearly enjoyed what he did and looked so passionate up there. A small smile formed on your lips, you felt proud of him, it felt like watching a little brother grow up.
“I’ll go get us drinks.” Ran leaned close to your ear, speaking louder due to the blasting music. You nodded at your boyfriend, you didn’t need to tell him what you wanted, he already knew.
Your eyes trailed Ran’s tall figure as he strategically made his way through the crowd, some of them greeting him. Clubs weren’t really your thing but your boyfriend was very fond of the nightlife, to the point where he and his younger brother built a club. It was truly amazing.
Your fingers tapped against your lap to the beat of the music as you waited for Ran to come back with your drinks. You were about to pull your phone out from your new Saint Laurent purse to distract yourself from waiting until someone sat next to you, their arm resting on the backrest behind you and legs crossing.
You knew it wasn’t Ran.
“We’ve met before.” It wasn’t a question, it was a fact.
You turned your head to the man sitting dangerously close to you, his slightly long white hair painted in different colours as the lights inside the club bounced around, changing hues, he wore his signature hanafuda earrings which danced with every movement. His lilac eyes held your uninterested gaze, the glint in them showing slight amusement.
“Izana.” you acknowledged the man before turning to the dancing crowd, trying to spot your amethyst haired boyfriend. Where the fuck was he? You thought. Izana was Ran and Rindou’s friend, you figured he was also here to support the younger Haitani.
He tilted his head to the side, earrings swaying with the movement, “Where’s Ran? Did he abandon you?” his voice was laced with amusement and it took all your willpower not to physically roll your eyes at him. “He’s just getting us drinks…” you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest. You didn’t miss the way Izana glanced down at your chest before meeting your gaze again.
Izana rested his chin on the hand that lay on the backrest, giving you a saccharine smile, “Hmm, then why do I see his arm around a pretty stranger? That doesn’t look like ‘getting drinks’ to me.” he teased, placing his hands in the air for make-shift quotation marks.
He almost laughed at the way your brows shot up and your head snapping back to the crowd to look for your boyfriend. You saw his familiar tall figure and signature streaked purple hair, he was indeed with another woman and was getting too comfortable for your liking. You didn’t like how his hand snaked down her back, resting just above her ass.
The fucking audacity.
You were about to get up from the leather seat, anger and disappointment bubbling up but Izana swiftly grabbed your wrist, “Why don’t you come play with me instead?” you looked back at Ran, who was still conversing with the woman and back at Izana, giving you an expectant gaze.
Sighing, you slowly sat back down, earning a sly smirk from the man next to you. Two can play at this game, you thought. If Ran wasn’t going to learn to drop his bad habits then you would just have to give him the taste of his own medicine.
“Good girl.” Izana purred, the grip on your wrist slid down to your exposed leg and encased your inner thigh, his pinky dangerously close to the apex of your legs. You sucked in a breath at his brazenness, your breaths becoming shallow as he started massaging your inner thigh, “You know… I’ve always been fond of you since your boyfriend introduced us to each other. Sucks that he got to you first.”
Izana’s hand started running up and down your inner thighs, each time getting closer and closer to your panties, “Always wondered how sweet you taste. Ran, that lucky bastard.” he chuckled against your ear, hot breath fanning down the side of your neck, earning a small whine from you.
Before Izana could escalate the situation further, he was stopped by a sudden loud voice, “What the fuck are you doing to my girlfriend?!” Ran angrily set the drinks down on the table in front of you and pulled his friend by the collar. You tried to get Ran to let go of the shorter man but your pleas fell deaf to his ears.
Izana met Ran’s cold stare, challenging it with a smirk on his lips before putting his palms up in defeat. Your boyfriend forcefully shoved Izana away and watched him leave before turning to you, “I leave you for how many minutes and you’re already slutting yourself out for my friends.”
You narrowed your eyes at him, standing up to challenge him but Ran towered over your figure, looking down at you, “And? You were practically eye fucking that woman down there! You told me you wouldn’t do it anymore, Ran.” you pointed at the general direction of where your boyfriend previously was, not backing down despite his looming figure.
“I’m so fucking tired of this! Don’t be surprised if I leave you for Izana.” you rolled your eyes, trying to get past him but your attempt was halted as he grabbed your wrist.
Ran let out an unamused laugh, “You think that’s a threat to me? Baby, I know you’d never leave me. I think we both know that. Izana cannot and never will give you as much as I do.” he stepped closer to you, removing strands of stray hair from your face.
“I’m taking you home. Clearly you’ve forgotten who you belong to.”
—
Ran was merciless.
He put you in several different positions that had your eyes rolling back and lungs screaming out for him but never did he let you cum once. How cruel. The two of you didn’t even reach your shared bedroom before you started sucking each other’s face since Ran was restless on the drive home.
There was an evident tent in his pants as he manoeuvred the car which made him shift uncomfortably against the smooth leather seat. One hand gripped the steering wheel while the other was stuffed into your cunt, his slender fingers already pleasuring you. His middle and ring finger relentlessly thrusting in and out while occasionally rubbing your clit with his palm.
Of course he never let you cum then.
“Ah—fuck! Please, Ran!” your nails scraped against the marbled countertop of your kitchen as you braced yourself with your arms, head bowing forward in pleasure as your boyfriend slipped his long cock inside your cunt once again. Tears were rolling down your cheeks—some already dried—as your body was engulfed in pleasure, again.
He was so mean. Ran fucked you until you were almost cumming before pulling out and changing your position, leaving you clenching around nothing but pure disappointment.
“Hm? Please w-what, baby?” he let out a raspy chuckle against your ear, bare chest pressing against your back. Ran sped up his thrusts which caused your shaky arms give out against the cold marble surface, you were now chest flat against the countertop, arms splayed on either side of you, he used your bent torso as a leverage by circling one hand on your nape and thrusting even deeper.
You swore you could feel him in your throat.
Your moans became higher and louder as Ran pressed his chest to your back again, while reaching for a leg, and propping it on the countertop allowing him to reach even deeper, which you didn’t even know was possible until tonight. He supported your leg with one hand while the other snaked up to your hand, lacing his fingers with yours, his palm making contact with the back of your hand.
You bit your lip, whining at how deep he was inside you, your forehead making contact with the cold marbled surface, you slightly felt the friction on your forehead as you bounced forward due to Ran’s unrelentless pounding but you couldn’t care less, he was giving it to you so good and you were taking it so well.
Skin slapping and squelching sounds filled the whole house along with erotic sounds that Ran pulled from you, the tension hung thick in the air as you were nearing your high.
“Please let me—mhm! Let me cum, please baby.”
Ran breathily laughed at your desperation to cum around his cock but he wasn’t done with you. He was going to break the stubborn walls of your attitude until you knew who you belonged to.
“I’ll think about it. Fuck!” he gasped, burying his face into your hair, occasionally sucking and licking at your nape.
You clenched around his length, vision slowly turning white and head spinning from pleasure, you were about to cum. Ran knew you were close with the way your breaths came out very shallow and with a slight moan at the end, he also didn’t miss the way your cunt gripped his cock like a vice which had him clenching his teeth, eyes slightly rolling back.
With that, Ran pulled out once again, earning a desperate cry from you.
“Who do you belong to? Me or Izana?” he stayed pressed against your back, while he panted the question into your ear, his hot breath making you shiver and giving you goosebumps.
You were too fucked out to even reply. Your mind housed only one thing, to cum. So when he asked you the question, you couldn’t properly get a response out no matter how much you tried. You stayed panting against the countertop, condensation forming from your repeated shallow breaths.
“I asked a question, slut.” he forcefully shoved two fingers into your cunt which earned a whine from you. “Y-you! Only you, Ran.” you sobbed, you just wanted to chase your own high.
Ran positioned his dick to your entrance and entered in one thrust, causing you to curse out loud, “That’s right you belong to me and only me. You wanna know why? Cause I’m the only one who can dick you down this good.” He started thrusting, immediately returning to the previous pace he’d set before, balls harshly slapping against you.
“I know you’d never fucking leave me because you’ll always come back for this expensive dick. Such a whore for my dick and all the things I buy you, huh?” he laughed. You couldn’t even reply to any of his mockery at this point, all you wanted to do was cum so you just nodded at everything he said, giving him occasional ‘yesses’.
Ran’s hips didn’t falter once which immediately brought you close again, a fresh set of tears rolling down your wet cheeks, “Ran, baby, I’m cumming. Please let me cum.” you whispered, voice hoarse and throat sore from all the screams he forcefully pulled from you earlier.
“Fuck! Cum for me princess. Cum for this dick that you love so much.” he groaned against your neck, he was also nearing his climax. The way your walls clenched down on his dick had him rolling his eyes to the back of his head.
You came with a loud moan, hands balling into fists against the marbled surface and toes curling, pleasure engulfing your whole body. A familiar intense sensation shot up your spine which caused your legs to shake and back to arch against Ran’s torso.
Ran bit the skin on your shoulder, cock buried deep inside as his hips stilled right against your ass, he clenched his hands around your hand and the leg that he was holding up, knees almost buckling from the intense pleasure he felt as hot thick ropes of cum shot inside you, making you shiver.
He rode out your orgasm by quickly pulling out and getting on his knees to attach his mouth to your exposed cunt, earning a surprised yelp from you. Ran lapped up all your juices before sucking at your clit, his tongue rubbing tight circles on it which had you practically pushing him away due to overstimulation.
Your boyfriend got up from his knees, legs slightly shaking as he pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around your front and burying his face in your hair, “I love you.” he whispered.
He didn’t mean that.
You knew he didn’t mean those three words. But you closed your eyes and convinced yourself that he did, even if it was just this moment because you still love him despite what he’s openly done.
And it was foolish. You knew that but you couldn’t bring yourself to leave him.
Maybe someday you’ll be free from your clouded senses and finally leave Ran but as of now, you remain indifferent.
You were young and blinded by the pretty things he had to offer, things you’ve never seen before and if you were to meet him again for the first time, you’d welcome him with open arms and let him ruin your life.
