Psych Major!Haibara
He’s the sweetest guy on the outside—loves everyone and everyone... well almost everyone loves him, hugs people in the hallway, bakes cookies during finals week. He’s studying human behavior because he’s obsessed with it. He’s a little too good at reading people. Always knows when you’re lying. The kind of guy who says “no worries!” but then has an anonymous google doc with embarrassing photos/videos of you shared with 50 people. Smiles while doing it.
“I’m not mad! :) just disappointed.”
Business Major!Yuki
Fully living her hot girl era. She’s a sugarbaby (no one knows), but she’s also getting that degree because she wants to build an empire. Always on her phone during class, but somehow gets A's. Buys her group project teammates coffee and then does nothing. Her men pay her tuition and buy her macbooks. Emotionally unavailable, devastatingly hot, has a calendar for which man she sees on which day on her pin board.
“He’s not my boyfriend! He’s an investor!”
Engineering Major!Toji
He’s quiet in class, always wears a hoodie, sits in the back row—everyone assumes he’s dumb or barely scraping by. But he’s crazy smart and has perfect grades. Lowkey comes from old money but refuses to use it and even admit it. Works out between classes, eats protein bars like they're a full meal. Used to hook up with Mean Girl!Reader. Hates group projects, never goes out unless it’s to beat someone up or fix up his car. Shoko is the only one who knows he’s not a total asshole.
“You talk too much. The answer’s C. Now shut up.”
Ta!Suguru
He acts like he’s composed and elegant and “above the drama” but he’s absolutely not. Smokes in the staff bathroom. Runs the class, everyone worships him, started TA’ing because he was bored. Leeps getting in trouble with admin but somehow always gets out of it.
“It’s called charisma. You wouldn’t get it.”
Nerd!Gojo
Top of the class, bottom of the social ladder. Raises his hand to correct the professor. Gets into reddit arguments for fun. Never wears the same glasses twice. Has a superiority complex AND an inferiority complex. Runs a Starwars and Sonic meme page. Takes selfies of him studying. Friends/close friends with no one, except Suguru (and even then that’s complicated).
“I color coded my notes by timeline era… see, the yellow ones are clone wars era but non canon adjacent—”
Medical Student!Shoko
She’s top of her class and couldn’t care less. Sarcastic, sleep deprived, always at the hospital or in bed. Shows up to parties in scrubs and drinks straight vodka. Fixes your wounds after bar fights, but roasts you while she does it. Doesn’t gossip but knows everything.Kkind of scary but also your safe space.
“You’re not dying. Probably...”
Stoner!Choso
He wears the same hoodie every day. Smells like weed and bergamot. Studies painting and sculpture but never shows anyone his work. Writes poetry at 3am while listening to hello kitty in the background. Very gentle. Has like 4 piercings and an eyebrow slit. You think he’s dumb, but he’s just tired. Only talks to Haibara and sometimes you.
“I watch you comb your hair and brush your teeth. I watch you talk on the phone and I watch you sleep.”
Professor!Nanami
The only real adult in the room. Runs a tight syllabus, grades harshly, but secretly loves when students try. Drinks espresso with two sugars and cries in his office. Once caught Ta!Suguru vaping in class and nearly lost his mind. Secretly funds the debate club. Unironically wears a wristwatch.
“I gave you a D because your thesis was weak. Not because I hate you. Although...”
Professor!Sukuna
The man the administration can’t fire — mostly because half the alumni donations come from people still obsessed with him. Teaches ancient civilizations / mythology / power & belief systems, lectures like he’s preaching, and somehow makes every student feel like the villain in his story. Sharp suits, sharper tongue. His office smells like sandalwood and danger. Calls attendance just to say your name slow. He’s infamous for assigning “interpretive essays” that sound academic but are really psychological warfare. Once told a student their thesis lacked “blood.” The department board’s scared of him but he brings in record enrollment every semester. Rumored to have been married once... no one’s brave enough to ask what happened.
“Sit up straight, you’re in the presence of history.”
Law Student!Utahime
Constantly angry. Hates Gojo. Hates men. Hates being perceived. Top of her class but fights with the professors... one in particular constantly. Gives intense eye contact during presentations and WILL glare at you if you talk over her. Probably has a crush on someone and doesn’t know it. Never goes to parties. Except that ONE time. And everyone’s still talking about it.
“Don’t touch me, I’m studying.”
Mean Girl!Reader
No one knows what you major in. You just appear. Your makeup is always perfect. You and Mei Mei coordinate outfits via facetime. You’ve never swiped your own ID card once. Some professors are scared of you (not professor Nanami). You were mean in high school and you're still mean in college. Terrorizing the quad one outfit at a time. You probably have a sugar daddy and also blackmail material on the dean and on literally everyone else.
“Don’t talk to me unless you’ve got something important to say or at least a Starbucks for me in your hand.”
Mean Girl!Mei Mei
Your partner in crime. She’s got connections, money, power. You two don’t run the college you own it, like everyone knows who you are. Never caught, always ahead. She has a personal trainer and a personal lawyer and there's a rumor going on that her and her lawyer made a grown man cry during a court trial. Her wallet costs more than your tuition. Her heels click and clack, echos like a threat.
“You’re cute... like a clearance rack.”
Frat Boy!Naoya
He’s president of a frat that should’ve been disbanded five years ago. Always shirtless. Always reeks of versace eros and protein powder. Hits on literally every girl and calls it “networking.” Thinks women belong in the kitchen but still begs you and Gojo for notes (you obviously don't give him it and Gojo doesn't associate himself with misogynists). The kind of guy who drinks from a red solo cup at 9am.
He definitely cheated on his Poli Sci final and blames feminism for his grade.
“It’s not misogyny, it’s biology.”
Literally the most hated man on campus. Even the other frats are like “yeah we don’t claim him.” Constantly beefing with Law Student!Utahime. Got punched by her once. Got kicked out of your dorm building. Somehow still coasting through life on vibes and generational wealth.
“Don’t act like you didn’t like it when I called you baby.”
The relationships with them.
Close(ish) allies/Besties.
Mean Girl!Mei Mei – your ride or die. Your outfits sync, you share power, secrets, sugar daddies, and hitlists. Tou two host parties, private brunches and plan takedowns with iced coffees in hand.
“I already leaked his texts, now you just have to look sad on Insta.”
psychmajor!haibara – he’s suspiciously sweet. You act like you only keep him around to “decode” people, but truth is… he’s got dirt on you. And you’ve got dirt on him. Mutual respect. He smiles too much for your taste but you’d go feral if anyone messed with him.
“You’re lucky you’re cute. Now tell me what she really meant when she said she’s fine.”
Law Student!Utahime – frenemies? She hates you (allegedly), you bully her (with love?), but you two walk out of debate class like a power couple in denial. She roasts you, you threaten to leak her old cosplay pics. It’s balanced.
“I swear I’m gonna stab you with a highlighter—wait what lipliner is that?”
Complicated flirtations/Enemies with benefits.
Stoner!Choso – it’s not anything. But it’s also definitely something. You call him “loser” and he lets you. You make fun of his piercings and then ask if he wants to smoke. He sees you clearer than he lets on. Probably has sketches of you hidden under his mattress.
“You’re annoying” / “You're in my bed.”
Ta!Suguru – he should be off limits. He’s faculty. But you both ignore that. he flirts in passive aggressive grading notes, you show up to class in suspiciously short skirts. Nobody talks about what’s going on… but everybody knows.
“If you’re going to turn in something that lazy, at least do it with your usual flair.”
Engineering Major!Toji – ex situationship that still gets messy. Hot, emotionally void, grumpy. You argue in parking lots and then hook up in the backseat of his car. It’s never over, never really starts either. Shoko sighs every time you mention him.
“You’re still mad about that?” / “You called me a spoiled brat during what? You giving me head?”
Nerd!Gojo – absolutely not your type. And yet. somehow you’re in his room at 1am while he explains star wars lore and you’re wearing his sweatshirt and pretending not to be into it. You’d rather die than admit anything. He brags to Suguru about you.
“Shut up, gojo.” / “But you’re smiliinnnggg!”
Blackmail targets/Power leverage.
Frat Boy!Naoya – you have so much dirt on him. You keep the receipts like trophies. He flirts, you threaten, it’s a game to him but war to you. He once posted a thirst trap and you replied with a picture of him sobbing freshman year... thank god for the new TikTok update.
“Careful, Naoya. Your entire existence is one google drive away from getting socially killed.”
Business Major!Yuki – mutual secrecy. You both pretend not to know about each other’s sugar arrangements. Passive aggressive compliments in the hallway. You know she’s got skeletons, and she knows you do to. Alliances formed in stilettos and love.
“Cute purse. Your sponsor buy that?” / “At least mine isn’t in his midlife crisis.”
Professor!Sukuna – you and him understand each other too well. It’s not flirting, it’s control. He’s the only one who talks to you like you’re his equal, and that’s exactly what makes him dangerous. You’ve both got secrets sharp enough to draw blood, and you take turns pressing them to each other’s throats. He calls it “mutual respect.” You call it what it is — leverage.
“You’ll come to me when it matters. They always do.” / “Keep dreaming, I only crawl when it’s worth it.”
Medical Student!Shoko – you act like she’s just your trauma nurse, but she’s your comfort person. She’ll patch you up and call you a dumbass, but she also lends you her hoodie when you’re crying in the quad. You only cry around her.
“You’re fine. But I brought ice cream anyway.”
Professor!Nanami – you’d never admit it, but you actually respect him. He doesn’t fall for your charm, grades you like he hates you, but you keep taking his classes. Probably reminds you of stability or your dad or something. You have dreams about him.
“Professor Nanami... I left my textbook in your office...” / “I’m calling security.”
