“I see no walkers, probably just an animal”, Maggie said, even though you could hear the tension through her voice and saw the tight grip she had on her knife.
“Yeah”, you started to nod, looking around for another moment only to find nothing before you moved on and started to catch up with her, glimpsing at the map that she was still holding in her other hand.
“How far?”, Negan asked, nodding towards the visibly worn down sheet of paper.
“About a mile and a half till we hit the street that leads to Arbor hills, and then it shouldn’t be more than a short walk till the house”, she mumbled, throwing Negan an irritated look before she started walking again and you heard him sigh deeply, clearly unnerved that a simple question of his elicited that kind of reaction.
“Y’know Maggie, this only works if we trust each other”, Negan said with another sigh while a mere scoff fell from her lips as she kept on walking.
“Why would I ever trust you?”
“I don’t know, Maggie. Maybe because you wanna stay alive? Just as the both of us do?”, Negan said, calm and merely with a tiny bit of sarcasm mixed into his voice as you saw Maggie shake her head and unfortualtely, you were pretty sure that this wasn’t gonna lead anywhere.
“If i stay alive In spite of you, you both”, she said, putting emphasis on the last two words as another huff fell from her lips as she stepped over a pair of thick, overgrown roots on the ground,”Not because of you.”
It was unnerving, really, and you could feel the annoyance fueling the headache, adding onto its very own ugly toxicity as you slowed down for another second, reaching back up to massage your temple as you saw Negan throw up his hands before another sudden rustling sound mixed with his voice.
“Shit, if that’s how you feel, then I don’t-”
And just like that, it cut him off. In the very moment you felt black clad arms wrapping from behind around you, closing up as the eerie coldness of a blade pressed against your neck and put your body into a sudden state of panic.
“This is your destiny, this is what god wants”, a rough male voice whispered muffled through to you and then, what happened in the next seconds after his voice hushed felt like an adrenaline filled trance, merely fueled by your panic as your body was left to remember its instincts and skills while your mind set out.
The knife in your hand dug with a loud, squelching sound into the leg of your attacker, taking him by surprise as he howled in pain and dropped his knife from your throat, but before you could feel a true sense of relief, the blade slit along your left arm as he fell back, cutting through the fabric of your rain jacket into your skin, harsh enough to make a pain-filled yelp of yours mix with his before his body dropped from your own for good.
Wincing you fell to the ground along with him, groaning as your body met the hard earth underneath the leaves while another scream and the sound of metal meeting bone and skin echoed through the air.
“Fucking asshole”, Negan yelled as you first looked up, watching as he swung his crowbar to bring the reaper to the ground. A mix of deadly fury and utter panic was stuck in his eyes, both extremes of these emotions wrapped up with one another as another metallic thud cut through the screams of agony and your adrenaline filled trance as the curved end of the crowbar dug into the side of the man’s throat and stopped his screams once for all.
”You fucking bastard, you goddamn piece of motherfucking shit!”, Negan spat loudly, staring down at the man on the ground whose mask had fallen next to him, revealing his lifeless face and his dead eyes while blood started to pool around him and Negan’s heavy breaths cut through the eerie silence.
Just then, you started to get what had just happened and felt your hand instinctively reaching up to your arm, sensing the ugly warmth of your blood as your eyes dropped down, watching as your fingers got soaked in a dark red.
It had only taken another second for Negan to realize the same, gasping out your name as he rushed to drop beside you just as you looked up into his panicked eyes.
“He just got my arm”, you breathed out, trying to reassure him that you were besides this stupid cut okay even though he didn’t seem to be any less upset than before. It felt like an awful repetition of the events in the early morning hours, only in reverse now, taking you as its victim instead of Negan.
“Fuck”, Negan breathed out as he stared at your bloody fingers that clutched your upper arm as you breathed shakily out.
“it’s okay”, you said with a thick gulp, trying to calm Negan down as he’d done it earlier for you even though you seemed to remain unsuccessful.
“No, no it’s not”, he said with tight knit brows while his his voice was thick with emotion, shaking his head as he glimpsed up at you, utterly upset and still in shock.
“There aren’t any more”, Maggie’s voice suddenly sounded through to you, directing your eyes back to her for the very first time since the attack had started as you saw her moving closer as she lowered her bow again,”He came alone.”
“Oh, you sure?”, Negan snapped, venom filling his voice as anger quickly mixed back into his eyes as he stared up at the other woman,”Cause I sure as fuck-”
Just as earlier, he got cut off again, this time not by a living threat but an undead one that had been attracted by the screams of the reaper, and which was now stumbling towards you in a group of five, groaning and ready to feast on your attacker, as well as you if you didn’t get away fast enough.
“C’mon, let’s get to the house”, Maggie urged, eyes focused on the dead as you slowly started to nod, agreeing with her for the first time in a whole while.
Luckily, it didn’t take all too long anymore to get to the safe house, even though you took two small detours to make sure that no one was following you, all while Negan kept on watching over you like a hawk, without leaving your side once until you reached the home and had checked every room for unwished guests.
It was worth it, at least.
Cans of food, ammo, amour and other supplies were moved up from the cellar below a hatchway in the hallway into the small, light-filled room, and it felt like a bit of a relief to see so many supplies all at once, even though you knew that it wouldn’t last for long.
You winced slightly as you tightened the makeshift binding on your arm that had stopped your bleeding for now, until you could take care of it later. Even though the adrenaline hadn’t made you feel it in its entirety earlier, it started to burn now and the headache was back in its full pounding glory.
You shifted over the green fabric of the armchair that you’d let yourself fall on earlier, trying to get a little more comfortable as you tore your eyes from Maggie who was still counting cans on the ground, and glanced up at Negan who was peaking through the gaps between the planks that fortified the windows, still alert and by the look in his eyes still very much upset.
“They didn’t follow us”, Maggie scoffed as she grabbed one of the cans and tossed it into another basket,”As I said, he came alone.”
“No damn hurtin’ in making sure”, Negan said through tight teeth and without peeling his eyes from the window once,”And those fuckers will figure out where we are earlier or later. If it’s earlier, we need to pack this up and get this to Alexa-”
“Don’t even think about it”, Maggie cut him harshly off, only to repeat what seemed to have become her stupid mantra once again,”The plan doesn’t change.”
“What’s the plan?”, you spoke up, her eyes shooting directly from Negan to you,”I’m not trying to rile you up, I mean it. What’s the plan?”
You were honest, you truly weren’t trying to create any more drama than you already had, but you weren’t going to let Maggie play leader just like that and you weren’t going to let her lead you into your demise.
She might have been the leader of her little group of minions, but she sure as hell wasn’t yours.
It was more than your right to know what kind of plan she was talking about now, and had been talking about endlessly since you left Alexandria, without ever giving away direct details.
And this had to end, now.
“’Cause we only ever talked about getting to Meridian, not what happens once we get there”, you continued, her widened eyes still fixed on you while her brows stayed tightly knit, though that didn’t make you budge,”And we’d have to change something about it either way...’cause even if there’s more than the three of us left, we most definitely lost more than half of the group...how are we supposed to fight them?”
“Daryl is left for sure, you saw him escape, didn’t you”, she spat the very moment your voice hushed, growing the frustration within you only more.
She was just supposed to tell you the fucking plan, without distracting again as she was doing now, which more and more started to confirm your suspicion that her plan either didn’t exist, or she knew that it wouldn’t work but didn’t want to give in because Negan and you were the ones who were doubting it.
“Yes”, you nodded, sighing as you shook your head slightly,”But even with him we’d be just four.”
“So you just wanna leave for Alexandria and abandon him?”, she snapped, completely disregarding anything you’d just said as you furrowed your brows at her and could see Negan shifting away from the window, about to say something before you rose your voice first.
“Don’t twist my words”, you said firmly back without breaking her fury glance once ,”I didn’t say anything about just leaving or abandoning him, I just asked you about the plan and you still haven’t answered. I won’t abandon Daryl, but I can’t help him and neither can you if whatever this plan is kills us first.”
A thick huff fell from her lips as you stared at her, while suspenseful silence filled the room and you grew less and less patient.
“So what’s the plan?”, you pressed again, only to watch as Maggie turned around and crouched back down to the supplies, acting very much like an angry toddler which fueled the frustration more with each passing moment she didn’t give you an answer,”Do you even have a plan? ‘Cause right now it doesn’t sound like it.”
“We wait. That’s the plan”, she growled, staring down at the cans that she grabbed and placed in another box, doing anything else than having an adult conversation with you.
You were almost about to open your mouth again and press for an actual answer before you realized that this wasn’t leading anywhere, and unless time passed and forced her to actually say or do something, she wasn’t going to reveal anything to you.
“Awesome”, you huffed, throwing our hands up as you got up from the armchair and heard Negan shifting closer before he gave your side a soft nudge.
“C’mon let’s go upstairs and find a spot to patch you up”, he mumbled, frustration and tension written over his face as he nodded towards the bloody binding that was still wrapped around your arm and grabbed your backpack.
“Yeah”, you just nodded, actually glad to escape this shitty situation for a moment as you followed Negan up the stairs, down the narrow hallway as he looked into the different rooms before he stopped at one bedroom at the end of the hallway
“This one looks good”, he said as he stepped inside, dropping your bag carefully beside the double bed in the middle of the room, on the side that was facing a big window.
“C’mon in, my lil’ makeshift infirmary is ready to go”, Negan chuckled softly as you stepped inside and rounded the bed to plop down on its side, watching as Negan sat down next to you and shifted your bag in between his legs to pry it open and get the supplies he needed out.
“Now I know I can’t give ya the same top quality as you’ve given me but are ya gonna allow me to take a look at this, doc?”, Negan said, trying to push the visible tension that laid all over him off as he grinned and nodded towards your arm.
“Sure thing”, you said, chuckling softly as you tried to shake that suspense off as well, even though you were sure Negan’s would come back as soon as he’d get a look at your wound.
“Good”, Negan said, winking at you as he bit his lip and slowly started to loosen the binding on your upper arm,“Feels like a reversed doctor role play.”
And just as you’d thought, the grin on Negan’s lips vanished as quickly as it had just appeared as you carefully shrugged off your flannel and dropped it beside you, giving Negan the full view at your cut. A thick gulp travelled down his throat as he took your arm gently into his hand, surveying your wound for a moment with a concerned look before he moved in to grab some cloth and the disinfection liquid and started to get to work.
“It’s not deep, right?”, you asked as the dried blood around your wound was gone, leaving a direct view at the cut as Negan started to slowly shake his head.
“Nah”, he mumbled, his eyes furrowed as he stared at your reddened skin while you squeezed your eyes shut for a second, trying to shut out the rest of the headache that still seemed to claw at your skull,”Still shit...goddamn fucker.”
You nodded slowly, knowing all too well where he was coming from as the look in his eyes grew more upset.
This had been you this morning. This had been you when you’d been wrapping up his leg after fearing for his life, after thinking a reaper got him for a split second and now the roles were reversed.
“If you haven’t had that knife in your hand to begin with-”, he started, cutting himself off as he clenched his jaw tightly,”He...that asshole would’ve cut your throat instead.”
You glanced at him with sad eyes as he kept on dabbing the cloth over your skin, visibly trying to keep himself from breaking as he stared down at your wound, even though you saw the bleariness in his eyes.
“Neg-”
“I feel the same way you did this morning”, he cut you off, speaking out what you’d been thinking just now ,”I keep on seeing that fucker with his goddamn knife at your throat...I keep seeing you dying.”
Just then his glance shot up and you could see the tears glimmering in his eyes, as he tried to swallow that lump in his throat. You reached up with your right, cupping the side of his face softly to brush your thumb gently over his cheek, while you were at loss of words, unsure what to say, unsure what to do.
This was a mess, and you both knew it.
You’d both went through the same kind of shock today and there wasn’t any way to milden its blow anymore.
“We can’t keep doing this fuckin’ mission the way we do now”, he said through tight teeth, as your hand dropped from his face and he tossed the cloth to the side and reached for the bandages,”It’s a goddamn shitshow, and I’m not gonna let her put you into more danger just ‘cause she wants to follow that dumbass nonexistent plan of hers.”
“Yeah”,you slowly nodded, glancing down at your lap before a thick sigh fell from your lips,”I don’t know what to do...I don’t think we can leave until dawn anyway. They got the upper hand during the night, can’t give that to them.”
Glancing over at Negan you saw his eyes darting up at you as he clenched his jaw and huffed softly.
“And if the others still aren’t here till then? What then?”, he finally asked, raising his brows as you could feel your stomach drop as you processed his question, awfully aware of the fact that this was a real possibility, and you had to figure out what to think about it rather earlier than later.
“Then...then I’d assume that Daryl made his way back home. ‘Cause if he would’ve stayed in this area he would’ve made it here...probably faster than we did. We had Alden...and Daryl’s quick on his feet”, you finally said with a heavy heart after a moment of silence, trying to find a rational thought within the headache’s mess and your emotions that cursed through your head, “And Gabriel...I...I could guess that he would’ve tried to make it home too if he isn’t here by dawn...he stuck to the plan before but he still has Rosita and Coco...and-”
You cut yourself off, too tired, too filled with stress and frustration and that goddamn stubborn headache to grasp any more coherent thoughts.
You weren’t even sure whether what you were saying now made sense, you just knew that you couldn’t keep going like that and follow Maggie’s plan. Whatever it was.
“I just don’t know”, you breathed out with a thick sigh, watching as Negan nodded.
“Yeah”, he mumbled, as you kept on rummaging in your exhausted but busy head, trying to make some sense of the few options that you had left.
“If there’s anyone close I don’t wanna leave them behind. I don’t wanna leave Daryl or Gabe if they’re still here somewhere..but I also won’t let this mission get us killed. Can’t help anyone if we’re dead...nor can we get that food back home. I want that food, I do, I want to be able to finally start trying, I just-”
“Me too”, Negan mumbled as your voice broke off and his sad eyes that were still bleary and slightly reddened darted at you,”But we can go further out and set traps and hunt before we head home. That would get us some food. This shit is a goddamn mess, I just...I just know that she won’t let her get you hurt again. This shit is already too fuckin’ close...I can’t...I can’t have you hurt and I can’t fucking lose you.”
His voice was trembling as he wiped over his eyes, the mere pain filled sound of its shakiness and the scared look in his eyes made your heart sink. You reached back up to cup his tense jaw, gently caressed your fingers over his greying stubble while his glance found yours as you softly shook your head.
“You won’t....we’ll find a way through this”, you mumbled, pushing yourself to belief your own words as Negan merely gave you a soft nod that made you sure that he was trying to do the same, before you leaned in and pressed a soft kiss over his rough, still shaky lips.
He didn’t let go though, he leaned in to get more of your caresses, yearning for a distraction from his thoughts and the mess of it all, just like you did as you slowly deepened your kiss and allowed yourself to get lost in him for a little while.
“Done”, Negan eventually said, after a break and some more kisses, more collected and less tense now as he glimpsed up at you from the finished bandage before his eyes widened a little and he lifted his pointing finger up,”Ah wait.”
With that, he reached up to pull his blue flannel off his shoulders, nodding to yours that laid on the bed beside you.
“Yours is all bloody”, he said, shaking the fabric off his arms before he held it towards you to take it.
“Well you need yours too, there’s probably still some stuff in those closets”, you said as you nodded towards the long wooden closet that was sunken into the wall on the other side of the room.
“Yeah, and it’s gonna be musty as fuck”, Negan chuckled, shrugging his shoulders as he held his flannel a little closer to you,”Just take mine, that jacket is warm anyway, I’m fine without that fucker.”
“Okay”, you finally sighed, taking the flannel before you slipped into the fabric that still held Negan’s warmth and scent before you glimpsed up and started to smirk as you watched his eyes wander over your body in his clothes, although glad that this genuine grin on his lips was overpowering the tension for a moment,”No other reason?”
“Not at all”, he said with a small snort, grinning as his glance shot up at you just as you nodded towards his leg.
“I should wrap you up again too”, you said, glancing at the bandage that peaked through the cut in his pants. It didn’t look all too bloody, but you still rather had it changed than risk an infection.
“It’s gotten better, we can do that later”, he said, holding your glance as you furrowed your brows at him.
“’Cause I think you should lay down for a bit now. You still got that headache, don’t you?”, he asked, glancing at you as you slowly started to nod.
“Can’t do anything for now anyway, better to just rest and get that fucker outta your head. We can always change that bandage a bit later once you feel better”, Negan added, giving you a soft, warm smile before he nodded towards the door ,”Just gonna head down and keep a look out, don’t think Maggie will be doing that.”
For a second, you gave him a worried look, rightfully so after what had happened between the both of them during the last two days.
“I can handle her on my own, don’t worry”, Negan said reassuringly as he saw the look on his face while you slowly started to nod as you kicked off your shoes and swung your legs onto the bed.
“Yeah”, you nodded, shifting to lay down and smooth your head into the pillow before you opened up your arms and gestured softly at him,”Just come here for another moment okay? You’re tired too..don’t even pretend you’re not.”
“Mhmm”, Negan mumbled he shifted a little closer until he could move himself a little onto his side and lay his upper body over yours, hugging you even though he kept his legs dropped over the edge of the bed, which really didn’t look all too comfortable.
“You can lay down too, y’know”, you chuckled as he smoothed the side of his face against your chest and hummed lowly.
“Nah, ‘cause I’m gonna be sleeping like a baby lickety-split if I do”, he mumbled as you reached up and started to caress your fingertips through his hair, yawning slightly before your eyes fell on the dark blue fabric that hung loosely around your arm, still reminding you that it actually was a remnant from his years down in the cell.
“We need to get you some new flannels when we’re back home...you deserve new stuff, not just those prison shirts and those things that laid for ages in that closet”, you mumbled, continuing your soft caresses through his hair and trying to somehow bring attention to something a bit more lighthearted, something that would give you a moment to think about another than those psychos,”There are some stores close to Alexandria that still have some stuff, just gotta give it a wash and they’re good. We could go there when we’re back.”
“Hmm you sure you don’t just wanna have a dirty quickie in one of those aisles?”, Negan snickered into your top, hugging you a little tighter as you nudged his arm playfully and let out a soft laugh.
“We could add that in as an extra”, you chuckled, leaning a little more into his comfy warmth as you found yourself relaxing as you could feel his deep laugh rumble against you.
“Sounds damn good”, he mumbled with another small snicker before he breathed deeply through and cuddled a little closer.
“Maybe we can find a suit for you in one of the fancy store sections. I doubt anyone has taken them”, you chuckled as another small yawn slipped from your lips.
“You really wanna see me in one of those, don’t ya”, Negan teased as you ran your fingers down to the nape of his neck and circled your fingertips over his skin, grinning to yourself as you started to nod.
“Yeah, I’m curious.”
“Well then let’s hope they have some nice ass suit left in my size in one of those stores”, Negan chuckled, gladly less tense now, ”Can’t wait for you to tear off of me so we can have that dirty aisle quickie.”
Another snicker fell from your lips as you felt Negan shifting a little closer, remaining in your embrace just like that, with your fingers running through his hair and his body smoothed against yours until he slowly started to shift.
“Alright, should head down now”, he cleared his throat as he propped himself onto his hands, hovering over you as he let out a groan,”This is gettin’ too comfy.”
Another small groan fell from his lips as he got up from the bed and stretched his long limbs, leaning over to grab a folded up blanket from the chair in the corner and started to shake it out.
“Don’t think this thing has been moved for a fuckin’ decade”, he chuckled, tilting his head to look at it and make sure it was fine,“Should still do the job tho.”
“Yeah I think so”, you chuckled, looking over the dark red fabric that looked actually quite nice for sitting in this room since the world went down.
“There ya go”, he mumbled with a small grin as he spread the blanket out above you to let it fall onto your body so you could tuck yourself in.
“Thank you”, you said with a small smile, wiggling slightly underneath the blanket to get comfortable as Negan moved forward and reached down to brush his thumb over your cheek, just before your eyes fell back on his leg,”Don’t you wanna do this now after all?”
“Nope, I want you to sleep and have a hot fuckin’ dream about me”, he said with a small snort before his look softened again,”I meant it when I said, it’s gotten better and even if I feel like that fucker tore a bit up again I’ll just take care of it, okay?”
“Okay”, you finally mumbled, nodding slightly as another dull thud on your skull reminded you that your body truly yearned for some rest.
“Try to get some sleep, alright?”, he said, giving you a small wink as he leaned in to press a kiss over your lips.
“I love you”, you said, smiling against him before he leaned back,”So much.”
“I love you too”, he mumbled, giving your lips another peck before he leaned back and grinned smugly ,”Hope you some nice ‘n dirty dreams.”
“Me too”, you chuckled, watching as he grinned at you before he let out a small sigh and started to step back, before he eventually made his way out of the room and back downstairs.
Slowly, you closed your eyes and your body started to give in to your exhaustion faster than you’d expected, shutting down the burning pain of your wound and the pounding of your head so you could let the sleep grasp you and surround you in its darkness.
Your lids started to grow heavier, your muscles started to slowly relax underneath the blanket and your breathing slowed down until it because calm and steady. You slowly dove into the depths of sleep, allowing it to take you entirely in and keep you safe and sound within its darkness until a sudden loud, familiar voice ripped you out of it.
“Fucking stupid!”, Negan’s voice roared through the air, from the floor below up to your room, nearly forcing you to sit upright in the bed as you shot up and tried to orientate yourself. Drowsy and yet alert you peeled yourself out of the blanket, grabbing your knife from the nightstand before you rushed on socks down the hallway to the stairs.
“What’s going on?”, you could only manage to call out as you rushed down the steps, only to find your husband and Maggie staring at each other as if they were about to kill the other one, merely one last snippet away from snapping and going at each others throats if they hadn’t already.
“What the-”, it started to fall from your lips, only to be broken off by the squeaking of the door as it got forcefully opened, your mind directly jumping towards the reapers who might have found you after all, but instead, instead of your attackers, two familiar figures stepped in the last dim light of the day into the room and stared exhausted at you, with pants rupturing through their chests and dark circles of sleep deprivation underneath their eyes.
Gabriel and Elijah.
