#twilight tw

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

I still cannot accept that Stephenie Meyer decided to solve the Edward/Jacob/Bella love triangle by making Jacobs actual soulmate Edward and Bellas newborn baby like congrats woman I really don't think anyone has ever done it worse

[ectoplasmranch]

Twilight is not good. But jesus christ does it occasionally do some shit that just punches me directly in the throat.

So for those of you who don't know jack shit about Twilight (I don't blame you, you're free), Twilight vampires are essentially living marble. So in traditional vampire fashion, they are cold to the touch.

There is a scene where Bella's dad hugs her for the first time after she becomes a vampire (which he is not allowed to know or the vampire mafia will get him, he only knows that she's 'different' and something is 'wrong' now) and it fucks me up because there is absolutely NO FUCKING REASON Billy Burke needed to go THIS HARD with Charlie's reaction to Bella being cold as hell.

But he DID and I'm thanking him profusely for it because it really made me think about what it would be like to be a parent, to know something is going on with your kid, to feel that sense of wrongness in your gut, and know there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. And then!!! To hold them!!!! And realize they are as cold as a corpse!!!!! And then you hug them anyway because to hold them when something is wrong—is unnaturally, inhumanly different—is better than never getting to hold them again.

Anyway, this is a post about Danny Fenton and his parents.

[neechees]

You know what would be funny. If the Quileute told all the other Native Nations on the coast about the vampires & were like "there's vampires going around btw & they're assholes" & the other tribes just killed them. Just bc the Quileute signed a peace treaty doesn't mean everyone else did

[dionysusbisexual]

There’s not much worth salvaging from this series. An adult “imprints” on a fucking baby.

[beyondthisdarkhouse]

I saw a post today that said Mormonism was created "within living memory" and uh. The LDS church is almost 200 years old. It's only within living memory if you're Carlisle fucking Cullen.

[t4twolfstar]

Marauders twilight remake

PLEAAASE you found my other fucking weakness I will admit to you yes I hate twilight but like I hate Harry Potter but I can still tell you every mf thing about it ffmskdjisjdja

Remus is Edward SO angsty its like ok we get it we GET IT yr tortured 🥱🙄

James is Emmett he’s the goofy fun loving brother who doesn’t take anything seriously

Lily is Rosalie the sour lesbian who doesn’t wanna be there and hates most people

Peter is jasper. Who cares about him. Battle schcarsh. Whatever. Traitor why was he on that side of the war?? Poor and racist authorship

Sirius is Alice. Just like confident he knows who he’ll fall in love with, thinks he knows everything, fashionable, tiny. Sad backstory. Could also be Bella because he’s just fucking stupid dumb for this brooding vampire who seems to hate him but then is obsessed with him. Also she has BPD too.

If we’re thinking werewolves again lily is the brooding lesbian, Leah. Peter is Quil ig bc he’s kind of quiet and in the background remus is Jacob, full spectrum of emotions to a confusing degree, can be really nice but also incredibly toxic. The actual alpha but didn’t want the role so James got it bc he’d be Sam I guess and Sirius is Seth but also Paul idk or he could just be Emily the werewolves sexy girlfriend who bakes muffins

You got me started this is on you fkskaksjaohfhdjaka

[alilaro]

I know you’re a volturi blog but isn’t wrong Meyer is cultural thief taking advantage of the Quiluete tribe like that and sent them nothing in return

Oh yeah, for sure. Meyer is a piece of shit, and I genuinely dislike her. 

She’s a homophobe, sexist, and racist to the point where she financially benefits from the cultural appropriation of real indigenous people*. She affects none of my works, and I rarely refer to canon. Basically; Death of the Author.  

(You’ll find most of the Twilight fandom has this same view. No one cares about canon, and I love that about the current fanbase)

I purposely don’t generally associate with people that think or talk highly of her, or the people who choose to fund her. Pirating is right there, and literally so unimaginably easy. Additionally, you can use the money you were going to spend on a shitty horse-beating rewrite (Midnight Sun released at a hefty $20-40 on release date) to donate to the actual real Quileute tribe.

*(On that, not even a fictional group, she based it off the real existing Quileute tribe, and turned them for a werewolf/love-triangle subplot? Like, fucking?? Hello??)

[shittykotlcheadcanons-closed]

Fitz watches Sophie sleep like Edward does to Bella