Anon Advice Asks - January 31
skating anon, therapist anon, admissions anon (new), guess anon (new), milk anon, outlet anon, two fics anon (new)
Skating Anon
Heyy
I'm skating anon, so basically so far I'm still friends with her but I didn't have the courage to tell her anything about liking her, my friend is telling me I should tell her so that we go out for valentine's day. I know for a fact she doesn't have any plans for valentine's day and I mean I'd even ask her like to go as friends but idk
What should I do
Hi!!
I mean, I think you should!! You could always just say "we should hang out on the 14th" and see how she reacts, you know? like don't specifically say it's a date but don't NOT say that and then see the vibes from there!
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Therapist Anon
Hiya cas, how are we
Therapist anon here with a bit of a long one so hope you're ready :)
One: were having a tour reunion soon (all went away for 3 weeks with a bunch of other people under the same program had such a blast)
Met a boy, talked, went on like a 5 hour hike we talked all the time. After a whileee he went to my friend with a "see ya later!" Then came bounding back (he was like a fawn learning how to walk, beyond adorable) and my friend who was near the front came up to me and was like " *name* you know he came to us stayed for about a minute then said he was bored, I'm gonna go back to *name* (ie me)
OK one was I flattered, boys never looked at me (woah that sounded so pick me, please forgive me) but he was on and off with a girl, later in the trip (like mid week 2 or smth) he was sad cos he ans this girl had a misunderstanding so there I kinda forced myself to give up because ain't no way imma make a move on a taken (?) man
Might not go to the reunion cos train strikes (yay) could only go if they doo a weekend then come back sat night (hopefully they do another one cos I wanna see him) it also doesn't help that all my friends ship us and to this DAY still talk about how cute we were
(Also gonna mention that it was him and two of ny friends bur then it dwindled to just me, my friend and him then just me and him- we didn't say anything and just talked about religion, parent, where we come back etc (in my religion where you're from has quite a big impact ie. If you're from European countries you're gonna have different customs to those from the middle east/Asian countries))
But yeah :D boy trouble am I right?
Two: friends are still being a bit...exclusive
And it pains me that they'll talk about how they've gotten so much better (they havnt) they had another party sat night and I wasn't even doing anything, I would have loved to come but no invite :/
But I also feel like I'm missing out on such teenage things like I've never gotten drunk (yay me I'm being so responsible but I feel like as somebody who's going to uni soon and never had alcohol other than for religious reasons (again alcohol is a pretty big deal here for...numerous reasons I'm not getting into otherwise wrll be here for too long) ans I've never talked to a boy other than school, cousins, sibling friends (and this one) so idk
I don't have a girl gang I don't feel as if I can go to them for boy trouble of course I know they love me (just had a weekend away and as we were lighting Friday night candles we all hugged, blessed each other etc) and I love them but idk....if they realize what they're doing then maybe?? There's definitely leaders and sheep but know I think it's mostly leaders cos of how long it's been going on (since after covid cos long story short, my mom got sick and it was a major health hazard so when bubbles came out I couldn't do it-I didn't step outside my front door for about 6 weeks we were all too scared and then schools opened and I had to distance myself ALOT like if we were in one big room, I was outside the building. Wore a mask until 2022-23 I'd say because of how scared I was so that definitely caused issues yay :) but I feel like that may be part of the issue cos I had to distance myself and push myself away -they were all so sweet coming to say hi and talk, sitting on my porch while I sat inside and for that I love them but that's definitely a factor)
Really really sorry for how long it is but lemme just summarise:
Met a boy, in love, his relationship status=complicated
I am single beyond single and would LOVE A BOYFRIEND HINT HINT HINT G-D
Friends being ignorant, met a new friend but she's going thru a tough spot so I cannot vent, I have to be there for her
Feeling like I'm missing out on ny teenage years ESPECIALLY THANKS TO COVID had depression and have anxiety, kinda feeling like depression is coming back (yay)
Covids a bitch
Also would love to make a huge academic comeback but cannot focus for the life of me, I'm actually addicted to my phone and my other friend doesn't do work until like 2am so that's a no go
Would love if you have any tips:)
Thanks again, really sorry for how long it is, mwah mwah mwah
Hi!
Okay so as far as the boy....Idk, for me...if someone isn't showing genuine interest in me, like it feels like I'm competing or having to work for love...that feels like a red flag. You deserve someone who truly cares about you, you know?
As far as your friends and being a teenager....honestly I feel like I've had so many people say the same thing- and I don't say this to minimize what you're feeling, I say this to tell you that you're not alone. It's okay to experience things in your own time! You'll experience all the things you're meant to WHEN you're meant to, I promise <3
For focusing...have you tried setting timers on your phone? I think there are apps where you can lock it for like 10-20 minutes at a time, and use that time to study, and then give yourself a break.
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Admissions Anon
Hey Cas!
I didn’t really know who I could talk to about this in my everyday life so I’m just gonna leave it here. Don’t feel pressure to reply!
Anyway, the college admissions cycle is underway and I’ve been applying places. I have only heard back from one school (my fav school) and was denied from them, I’m still waiting on about 10 others to get back to me - most of which are easier to get into as my top school has a low acceptance rate.
For context, whenever I would talk about this school to anyone (parents, friends, etc.) it was pretty clear that they didn’t think I’d get in. I’ve had some pretty serious medical stuff over the last few years which has impacted my grades, so my friends at school don’t think of me as capable to get into a difficult school and my parents just didn’t wanna get my hopes up. Guess they were right on that account.
Logically I knew that I likely wouldn’t get in since previously acceptance rates were like 15% (and this year they dropped to 6%) but there was still a little tiny voice in the back of my head that kept whispering “what if…”
So although it’s a little crazy, I kept thinking that I was going to get in. Perhaps more than a little crazy. Whatever. Anyways, clearly I didn’t and I feel like I can’t mope about it or anything because none of my friends will understand cause they’re either super smart nerds who would’ve gotten in or they despise academics and would never apply to a school that difficult to get into. So I just wanted to be able to talk to someone which is why I’m leaving this here.
So all this leads to the fact that since I have bad anxiety and depression I’ve sorta been spiraling a bit since I found out today. I’ll be fine though. Hopefully. Just give it a few days.
I’ll shut up now but if you did read this thank you for listening (or reading I guess since this isn’t audio)
Thanks xx
Hi <3
I completely understand this. I feel like we're sold this lie that if we work hard, we can go to whatever college we want. But in reality, some colleges are almost impossible to get into, and it's so upsetting. And on top of that, even if you get into your top school, there's paying for it.
It's definitely a letdown to know that you won't be able to go to your top choice school. I'm not sure if it would make you feel any better, but I wasn't able to go to my top choice, either, I actually ended up going to one of my last choices. And I ended up LOVING it. Sometimes you end up at the place you're supposed to be, you know?
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Guess Anon
hi Cas,
Ive posted a few asks on here but they were public - but this time, I don't think that I'm brave enough to be. Although you'll probably guess who this is if youve seen my other tumblr posts
Its my father's birthday tomorrow and me and my sister are seeing him. The issue is, I tried to bring up the fact that I had dropped out of college last time we saw him, and he told me that he'd be really disappointed and wouldn't want to see me again, so I played it off as a joke and just said that I was thinking about it. He asked me whether I was meant to be in college when we were out last and luckily I had an email saying that my classes were cancelled the day because they were running christmas trips and my teachers were all going (for context I dropped out late november and I still had access to my college email until very recently as I've finally been formally de-enrolled), so I showed him that email (which he originallytbough I'd faked) but obviously this time, I have no messages or anything (cause I've been fully de-enrolled so they deleted my email and stopped messaging my phone number). I'm just scared that he's going to find out tomorrow and get angry and violent, and then he'll blame me like he always does. I'm scared, Cas.
Thanks for taking the time to read.
Hi <3
I'm so sorry that I didn't get to this before you saw your dad. I really hope it went well.
I want to remind you of a few things:
First, when your safety is at risk, it is always okay to lie. You could photoshop the email?
Also, when your safety is at risk, it's okay NOT to see family, even if they are family. Nobody deserves to be hurt. I understand if you are still relying on your father for some sort of support, but if you arent...I would reevaluate spending time with someone who is violent.
But also I want to say...I hope you know that you don't have to explain your choices to people. You're allowed to make choices that are best for you, and fuck anyone who judges <3
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Milk Anon
Hey, so milk anon here...
A couple months ago i got a gf, and shes amazing, and beautiful and lovely, and i l'île her a lot
But... im terrified of physical affection (like holding hands and cuddling and kissing etc.) And idk if maybe its because its my first relationship or not but ive started to think maybe that i may not actually be into girls after all, but just guys? I dont want that to be true bc like i said my gf is amazing and i dont want to hurt her, but i also dont wanna lie to her, nor myself, but i also just dont know and its kinda freaking me out
Sorry if its a bit much lol, i just needed to rani a bit to someone not too involved
Hi!!
Honestly...there are so many reasons why someone might not like physical contact and I'm not sure if I can tell you what the reason is for you, you know? Especially since I'm not a professional. But it sounds like you might just need to reflect on the why. Like...is it the person? The situation? The type of contact? That kind of thing. Also you said this is your first relationship...it could simply be that you're not ready for a relationship and that's completely okay!
Also if you do end up realizing you don't want to stay with your gf for whatever reason, just make sure to tell her what you told me- that she's amazing and you care.
Wishing you luck <3
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Outlet Anon
It made me so happy to read your update! It sounds like things are going so well for you and it amazing how all of those changes have improved things so much! I am sending you love and I hope things continue to go well!
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Two Fics Anon
I promise, there are people who read. Also if it helps motivation, you and try to find people who share similar tastes in tropes and pairings, and then share your writing with them! Fandom friends are wonderful hype people!