It'd be a little funny if the rogues S/O saved them with a metal chair. One of those foldable ones
It seems like they lost, Batman hovering over the rogue, ready to take them to Arkham until BANG
Batman falls down
Behind him stands S/O, metal chair still in hand, suggesting that maybe they should escape now
Like c'mon Batman is never living that down. Especially if S/O isn't a rogue. Like he just got knocked out by a rando civilian who just so happens to kiss up on a rogue
Omg this is brilliant. Bruce is fucking scarlet. like how embarrassing. Dick isn't ever going to shut up about this now time for the rogues reactions!
Riddler/Edward Nygma
oh my god. that was so hot babe you don't even know.
genuinely will take a minute to commit this to his photographic memory. my god.
once you yell at him to get the fuck up and start running, he's by your side hand behind your back escorting you out.
he will also never forget this. both you and also the batman. this will be a jab he makes to the bat frequently.
"riddle me this batman, what has four legs, no heartbeat, and is the batman's kryptonite?" such a dick.
Scarecrow/Jonathan Crane
oh you brilliantly smart mouse.
he's already hopping up, spraying the bat in the face and then hroo hraa-ing outta there.
you're going to be showered with compliments. especially since you definitely saved his burlap. this man cannot go against batman in a 1v1. he's made of bones and straw. the wind can knock him over.
briefly ponders the possibility of batman having a fear of chairs after this. maybe by being sprayed after the attack has developed a new synapse?
TwoFace/Harvey Dent
hummanah hummanah. they've fallen for you all over again.
"what a woman/hunk"
their eyes genuinely pop out of their head.
they flip a coin and flee with you in tow. don't be surprised if they throw you over their shoulder as they do.
will be talking about that for ages. tells Penguin, Riddler -anyone who will listen really.
Their men will give you a nod of approval when they hear about it.
harv is ecstatic about this. his first reaction was that it was hot, whereas Harvey was the more concerned party.
Bane
oh my god.. you've certainly picked up on things form the ring.
thinks its hot also.
would never expected that from you! but I suppose watching batman reach for his tank was the limit for your gentle disposition.
he's relived he gave you that defence training now.
he's slightly more relaxed about your safety now he knows you can handle yourself.
but not completely obviously.
Black mask/Roman Sionis
HOT HOT HOT x10. its like the word is flashing in his brain with an alarm sound.
"doll that was the sexiest thing anyone has done ever"
you will be whisked away by him into his car and will gush over you in the backseat (okay that sounds wrong.. >:) )
you will be treated to a wonderful dinner and showered in gifts! somehow more than usual.
he's also telling everyone. he's gonna goad Red Hood with the fact his dad got whacked so easily by a fucking normal person?? like no prior training.. how embarrassing.
if you're curious: the pedophile implication comes into play a bit after the main events of Twojar (I don't remember the issue, sorry) when it is revealed that the people Ivy murdered during the event weren't actually killed by her but by Riddler who had gaslit her into believing she killed them. Ivy is written as having been swayed by his charms in a decidedly romantic or sexual way, with him even draping his arm around her shoulders if I remember correctly and the reason she was so naive as to believe him was heavily implied to be that she was a barely-legal young girl being taken advantage of by a big strong grown man with him being the catalyst that turned her into Ivy in the first place, essentially placing him in the role of Dr. Woodrue.
and all of this is brought up because Ivy has a mental breakdown about having killed people for Riddler during Twojar, with Batman consoling her by telling her that she is still innocent and pure and in fact has never killed anyone at all, the misogyny of that plot twist is revolting
Thank you, Anon! To be honest, I find Tom King's writing more boring than offensive, and I dropped his run after twojar ended. He opened the next issue with Bruce and Selina neglecting a horse to death in the desert, and I was not about to suffer through anything involving Talia from Mr. Tom " I worked for the CIA" King.
This Ivy stuff is so typical from him, too. I know his BatCat stuff has its fans , but I could never stomach the way he writes women. The funny thing is that he is not even an overt misogynist or anything like that. He is just a one trick pony, and if the character is not " sad ex-soldier tortured by the images of war," he can rarely do it justice.
Also, lmao. When I complain about King gutting Riddler from all of his flair and making him a generic, unreasonably cruel, violent guy with no limits or real motivations besides being horrifically evil and murderous to the point of becoming absurd, this is the type of stuff I am talking about.
HOLY SHIT PEOPLE. My account that I had for 8+ years was deleted today. All my followers etc. gone! So I had a good cry and then obviously tumblr is not able to restore my account so here I am!
You might know me from works like this:
⚠️⚠️⚠️i would appreciate any sort of reblog or like on this post to let my followers know. ⚠️⚠️⚠️⚠️
TWOJAR!Riddler x Female!Reader, word count: 1.5k
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL FRIEND @riddlemeri
i love you so much, i'm so glad i met you and i'm so grateful for you every day 💚
this is for a request ri sent in and uh yeah i just wanted to fuck him oops, happy birthday i guess oops 💚🎉🐧
request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi
minors DNI!! 🔞 cw for nsfw stuff: ok so cunnilingus, praise!kink, piv sex, desk sex, fingering a little bit, doggy style, blowjobs, and i think that's it...?
Returning to the office, silent nods of approval from Edward’s other employees marking your grand return, you felt a sense of accomplishment, pride. It had been hard to commit yourself to criminality, the inevitable punishments that would follow, but you’d do anything for Eddie, anything to be Edward Nygma’s most trusted friend, and more. And as you returned to him, the necessary first part of his plans set up, you couldn’t help but smile. Entering his office, you practically skipped over to him, his feet resting on the desk pulled down, elbows replacing them on the tabletop, his chin resting on his hands as he watched you perch on the edge.
“Done?”
“All done!”
“Well done.” There was limited perceptible emotion behind the words, but you could see the glimmer in his eyes as he let a small smile creep up on one side of his mouth.
“Well…what now?”
He lifted his elbows, leaning back in the chair, his arms outstretched.
“Now, baby, we enjoy the feeling of peace and accomplishment, because it won’t last.”
“How so?”
“Well, we’re about to go to war.”
His smile was slightly wider as he explained it to you, a little bit mocking but sweet either way, and you found yourself leaning into him, taking a couple of steps towards him as you spoke.
“Huh…I never really considered the inevitable risks. I was too caught up in all of the excitement!”
“Well, now we can sit back and relax.”
Tossing your head back, you sighed a little, clenching your fists and grinning at him as you looked back to him.
“I don’t think I can, Ed! I’m way too full of adrenaline! I want to plan, I want to scheme, I want to…”
You cut yourself off before you sounded desperate, but it was too late because he knew what you wanted. Silently, and with his finger curling towards you, he called you to him, grabbing your hips and settling you into his lap, removing one of his hands to brush the hair from your face, his hand ghosting against the side of your face, resting on your cheek as he kissed you, pressing his lips to yours.
With your hands on his chest, open shirt pushed to the side, he leaned back in the chair, raising you up and pressing his hands around your ass, gripping your cheeks, sliding to the underside of your thighs and pushing under your skirt. Holding your closer, your chest against his and your hands around his neck, he moaned and you giggled against his lips. His fingers dug into your thighs as he lifted you up, dropping you down on the desk.
He pushed up your skirt, bunching it around your hips, fingers slipping into your underwear and pulling them down, fingernails dragging into your thighs as he removed them. Holding your ankles, he kissed up your leg, pulling himself closer to the desk, pulling your body closer to him on the desk. A satisfied hum emanated from his mouth as he pressed a kiss to either side of your cunt, against the tops of your thighs, his hands moving up and under your shirt, smoothing over your stomach, lifting your shirt up as he went, yanking the cups of your bra down and exposing your breasts with a low growl, letting his fingers trace around your nipples, your moans spurring him on as he groaned in chorus. Straining his upper half, he reached to place a kiss to your abdomen, one on your mound, and one on your lips, swollen in anticipation.
His breath was heavy, warm against your cunt, as he held his tongue against you, flat and wide, a wave of intense pleasure flowing over your body, breath shuddering as he laughed at the effect he had on you, the vibration of the sound over your pussy. He looked up at you briefly, dragging his tongue from the bottom to the top, lifting it off, strands of his drool and your slick falling to his chin before he dipped it back in between your folds, lapping at you, dipping into you, hungry for your taste.
You brought your hand to the back of his head, pushing him further into you as he pressed his thumb to your hood, teasing it back to expose your clit, running the tip of his tongue over it, flicking fast and making small circles as you hitched your hips into him.
“Good girl, use me.”
The words were muffled, barely a second to get them out before his mouth was around you again, your hand forcing him closer, deeper. His appreciative groans rumbled through you as you ground his face into you, his strong jaw moving up and down, two of his fingers dipping inside of you as he licked and sucked, dangerously close to pulling an orgasm from you. He only ceased when you started shaking and whispering his name.
He stopped, panting as he looked up at you, wiping his chin with the back of his hand, lop-sided smile and blow out pupils as he stared, desperate, wild. Pushing back from the desk, he got himself onto his feet, staring down at you as you giggled, face blushing as he removed his shirt completely.
Edward loosened his belt, unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, letting it all fall to the floor with an oddly erotic thud. He dipped his fingers below the band of his underwear, and as you stared at the bulge, he released himself, his length bobbing as it was jostled from the tight fabric. Palming himself, cock hard, twitching as he stared at you, devouring you with his eyes. As he moved towards you again, leaning in to kiss you, you could feel the stiffness of his length pressed against you, guiding the head of his cock into you, inching deeper as he took your hands in his and held them against the desk above your head.
“Oh…god…you feel…so good…”
You clenched, muscles tensing at his words. Nothing made you feel better than when he complimented you, any modicum of praise you received sent chills down your spine.
“You’re…hng…taking me…mmm…so well…”
He was letting himself enter you further, until his abdomen met your body, moving in and out, soft smacks echoing in the room, his enthusiastic grunts spilling forth from his soft lips as he rocked into you, one arm around your back as he cradled you, holding you up, your foreheads pressed together.
With Edward this close to you, his grunts rang through your body, pulling your orgasm closer as you listened to the sweet sounds he made as he pushed himself into you, your walls tightening around him as your fingers gripped the edge of the desk, knuckles white as your whines grew louder, closer and closer to your orgasm.
“Wait…baby…you’re too good…this is so good…”
He brought his thumb to your clit, his cock still pumping in and out of you as you whimpered at his touch. Laughing breathily, clinging to his composure, he ran his other thumb along your cheek.
“Is this…ok?”
You could barely find the concentration to nod, your body so tense, filled with him.
“You’re beautiful…fuck…”
He whispered his testaments of love to you, rutting into you, his thumb rubbing circles against your clit still, your whining and pleading driving him close to orgasm, and you weren’t far from it yourself, something he could send as you let your nails sink into his back, moaning his name over and over as he clung to you.
“Do it…do it for me…ah…good girl…”
His mouth was over yours as you came, kissing you and muffling your screams. You rode the waves of your orgasm, his thrusts gentler, but still drawing more from you, your slick covering his cock, his own moans louder, heavy panting and whimpering. He slid out completely, grabbing your hand and pulling you up on to your feet, your legs shaking under you.
“Be a good girl, hm?”
You sank to your knees in front of him. Edward stood before you, gripping his length, slick, wet cock in his hand, tightened fist pumping up and down, your own reaching for it and taking over. You ran your tongue over his flushed head, wrapping your lips around it and sliding them down the shaft, tasting yourself on him, his head tilted back as he whined, your cheeks hollowing around him.
“Good…girl…such…hng...a good…huh…girl…”
He strained his neck up, head tilted back as his thighs tensed, mouth open to let a grunt out, chest heaving as he came, hips jutting, his seed spilling into you at the back of your throat, warm, thick, pleasantly salty. You swallowed it completely, smiling up at him as he grabbed your chin, tilting you to look up at him, stroking your cheek softly, looking into your eyes.
“That’s it, that’s my girl.”
Smiling down at you, he reached to help you up, holding your body in his arms as he kissed at your neck, brushing the hair out of the way and moaning against your skin.
“So good, so beautiful. You’ve done so well.”
You laughed, leaning all of your weight into him, forcing him to hold you up completely.
The War of Jokes and Riddles Riddler Mild NSFW Headcanons
I didn't intend this to be sexual at first but my sleep deprived brain was on autopilot and somehow I awoke from my reverie and be met with whatever this is. Enjoy I guess.
🔞 MINORS DNI
💚 An absolute Dom in and outside the bedroom. You cannot tell me, that this man can make anyone do his bidding with one word. Like, you'd think that he controls the universe with how much influence he has on people. Admittedly, not all can bend to his will, but oh god does it seem so tempting to obey him and hear him praise you?
💚 👏BODY👏WORSHIP👏
Both receiving and giving.
It's seldom that he gives out praises and when he does, he means it. And boy, will he be pleased to know from you that you appreciate him the same way as he does.
💚 This man appreciates a good slow burn in pretty much everything. Nothing like building the passion, the tasteful anticipation, the thrill of edging. And the scoundrel is one hell of a tease, he lives off of seeing you squirm and let out pitiful whines, pleading and pleasing him to finally get on with it.
💚 I'm getting service top vibes from him. Like, at arbitrary moments he'll find himself wanting to hear you screech his name and then suddenly he's between your legs. Buuuuuuut, he certainly wouldn't say no if you were to return the service.
💚 There are times wherein he wouldn't be by your side, something he finds unbearable and so he substitutes his his presence with a present, something to remember him by (because by god, this man can disappear for months). Gifts differ, from jewelry, sex toys, an article of his clothing with his perfume embedded on it, a full outfit, etc etc.
He knows these gifts are not going to proxy his presence, so he also includes a thoughtful letter detailing his disappearance. Detailed, meaning Batman can get to you for information but good luck to Bats if he can even try to get through you. Edward trusts you enough to make his plans known to you and knows that you will never spill.
💚 Aftercare is massively crucial for him as much as the lengthy foreplay. There is no way in hell that he'd leave you after sex, he may be a scoundrel but he's no 'hit-it-and-leave-it'. If this seems like it's a grand gesture to you, to him, it isn't. It's bare fucking minimum, take notes everyone. So he'll attend to whatever you need, honey 😊
💚 Handsy. He practically drapes his arms on your shoulders, the small of your back, waist, or holding your hand in his, or that elbow looping thing too. When he embraces you, it's always close, always lengthy, as if he never wants to let go. And in make out sessions, his hands runs over your body, appreciating every single inch of your skin.
💚 LINGERIE. There's nothing more to say here, he will show how grateful he is if you were to greet him with you in a pretty lingerie. Also wearing his colour? Oh my, slow this rabid man down or he might just rip it off you. To be frank, he couldn't care less about the lingerie, but to take your time and cash to do something for him? Mmm mmm 😩
