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hi, i know im probably definately gonna get hate on this, but im just really fucking tired of it and i need to say something.

im a queer transmasc who heavily identifies with eliot waugh, and seeing people continuously call eliot bisexual or pansexual makes me not only upset, but very uncomfortable! yes, we have seen him kissing women and having sex with women, but he has never once had actual sexual chemistry with ANY of them (margo is the only exception because theyre soulmates). every time i have to hear people making excuses for their "bi/pan eliot agenda", it always manages to make me feel sick. i have seen multiple times people use trans people to defend their arguments, and as a trans man myself im fucking disgusted!

i myself have had a struggle with identifying my own sexuality for a LONG time, and i still am! ive dated and kissed people who identified as women because at the time i didnt know what i really wanted. i KNOW that i like men (and nonbinary people), so i identify as gay. i see eliot waugh, a man who i have only ever seen sexually compatible with men and ONE WOMAN, that woman being his best friend!!!! just because he's comfortable with margo on a sexual level, does NOT mean he is attracted to women. are we forgetting how he is shown being distraught with the prospect of having to permanently marry a woman, let alone have sex with her?

yes, you can say his sexuality is fluid because it is. yes, you can say he is a "queer man" because he is. but that doesnt justify saying that he's attracted to women. you dont have to be attracted to women to have a fluid sexuality.

anyways, if you want to argue with me about this feel free! (i probably wont respond to you because i am never on tumblr and i do be having the mental illness lately)

#anyways thats it! im tired!#im gonna go play cat game for some 4 hours and eat penne pasta and not freak out about posting this #gay eliot waugh #the magicians #tyler rants #homophobia mention #talking about sexuality #a character's sexuality but still talking about it #i know one of my irl friends thinks eliot is bi but idk if they still think that and if youre that friend i dont hate you

It's pride month

Why the fuck am I still single?

#pride #pride month #bi pride #pan pride #ace pride #biseuxal #pansexual #why am i single #Tyler rants #is me #Tyler speaks

can we discuss how shitty it is that some rpers think they’re better than other rpers simply because they aren’t interested in writing smut? having a focus on smut doesn’t make you a worse writer than someone who doesn’t. it doesn’t make you incapable of creating development and depth or complicated plots and long-lasting ships.

writing is a form of expression, and as most forms of expression, it shouldn’t be subjected to judgement as far as content is concerned. Grammar, vocabulary, sentence structure - stuff like that, can be criticised if you really wanna be a dick and be critical of someone else because that’s all mechanical stuff that has nothing to do with the art form

no one has any business judging an artist's content or saying that one artist is better than another simply because they choose to focus on a different subject

i just think its bullshit that smut writers are looked down on and regarded as cheap, tacky and inauthentic in comparison to people that prefer to fade to black. can this stop please? thanks.

#tyler talks #tyler rants

I find comfort in knowing michael wouldn't hesitate to stand up for me whenever I'm uncomfortable and being touched by my father even though I tell him every damn day I don't like it. I'm so sick of being caressed and rubbed on and then yelled at for pushing him away and then I'm told to "ask nicely" for him to stop but he never does so yeah I'm gonna be pissed off and aggressive. & when I do say "hey I really dont like that, I'm an adult and you're my father, it's weird yknow, and I don't like being touched" he's quick to say "I don't care, you don't have to act shitty about it, ask nicely" ???

Like first of all why the fuck does he feel the need to touch my lower back, thighs, caress my cheek- the list goes on and on. I mean yeah it's not like sexually abusive I guess but I still feel so nauseous and I feel guilty and idk why.

I was having a good day too. I hate this so much lol

#tyler rants #dont read if this stuff triggers you #block tag if uncomfortable

Tw: rants about mental health, mentions of abuse, my daddy issues and him being fucking awful in general lol

~ idk why but my father is very draining when it comes to my mental health. He's confusing too. One day he's telling me "no one loves you like I do, no one can take care of you like I do, i have the money you need for a good future, I will always support you" and then the next day he's saying shit like "all you do is sleep, you can't live off me forever, what's wrong with you? Have you told your dr how you've been acting huh? it's ridiculous" like what the fuck ???

When people are around him he is going to be confident in his lies about how he understands my struggles but when they leave it's always the screaming and yelling at me because I fucked up with little things. Didnt wash the dishes how he likes? Yelled at. Sleep all day bc I have insomnia? I'm called lazy. I fumble around and do something on accident after he told me what to do? I'm yelled at, mocked at, and I'm told it's just common sense. And when i have panic attacks every time I leave the house - he is angry and asks what causes it as if he's oblivious. It's so draining and hard to cope with.

The uncomfortable affection he gives me is the horrible, rotten cherry on top. He's done things in the past that I'll never have full answers to. He didn't react much when I told him about someone specific in the family who did things to me. He failed to get one guy in jail for what he did when I was a kid, he should've taken me to get help or stay with my mom not bring me along to some poker party with drunk adults, weird ones at that with fucked up motives.

All my life ive been stuck in this situation and being told I'm running away from it or that I'm a coward for wanting to escape is very triggering. Why would I fucking choose to stay here? I am emotionally and financially stuck in this place. Thankfully in about a year I might be out if things go as planned. How is that running away? I'm fighting to stay alive by leaving because if I dont I could end up doing something to myself that i cant take back.

Theres so much more but it's hard to explain it when I start remembering every little thing. Maybe I'm desperate to write this because I'd feel heard and supported even if it's through a screen. I have never been listened to about my struggles. I was always the adult as a child. I was the one to give advice and called "an old soul" and "so mature" in return.

I dont think y'all realize how important you are to me. It might sound cheesy or weird but every person who talks to me, sends asks, etc.. it helps me stay grounded and makes me smile. That's why I try my best to be loving without being weird about it. It's like some form of cute aggression lol I've cried multiple times at messages and asks & people like you, who may be reading this- make this life bearable. Words cannot thank you enough so I try with actions and stuff like that. I hope y'all stick around but I understand if my low energy drives you away for a while. I just wanna say thank you anyways. <3

#tyler rants #block tag if uncomfortable

anxiety be like: you need to apologize for being alive

#tyler rants #im jsut really fufking tired of my brain #wish my mental illness didnt make me feel like such a fucking burden aha #anwyays