Dec 24, 2024
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Happy Inkwell: Mommy?
by @kingfranpetty
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I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Happy Inkwell: Mommy?
by @kingfranpetty
Cannibalistic Halloween
Happy Inkwell eating gummy worms in a dark corner of the basement.
Suddenly, the clicking of talons on the basement steps is heard going down the stairs, followed by the sound of a heavy thud on a table as the talons pass by Happy, unaware of his presence.
Happy is watching.
A black bag is on the table and Walter Leech is standing on the other side, he pulls...something out. The sound of wet eating noises begin filling the quiet basement.
Happy Inkwell runs to Tyler.
Tyler Dream: What's the matter, sweetie?
Tyler asks as he kneels and hugs Happy.
Happy Inkwell: Grandpa Walter is eating people!! Scary!!
Tyler Dream: Nooo...sweetie, you must have misunderstood. Are you sure he wasn't eating candy?
Happy Inkwell: Candy doesn't make wet noise.
Tyler Dream: Are you sure it wasn't gushy candy? Or mangos? Yummm.
Tyler tries comforting Happy.
Happy Inkwell: It was scary!
Tyler Dream: It's okay, sweetie. Want to go trick-or-treating? You don't need to think about the scary.
Happy Inkwell: ... I went out with Unca Buddy earlier.
Tyler Dream: Awww.
Tyler pouts, seemingly a little disappointed and envious.
Happy Inkwell cries.
Tyler Dream: No no no. Don't cry.
Tyler rubs Happy's back.
Happy Inkwell: I'm a bad boy! This is the last time daddy will be able to take me to trick or treating!!
Happy is crying.
Tyler Dream: You're not a bad boy. Why wouldn't I be able to take you trick or treating?
Happy Inkwell: Because they don't give candy to thirteen year olds and I'm twelve.
Tyler Dream: I thought you were seven?
Happy: I'm twelve.
Tyler Dream: Since when?...How long have we been here?
Happy Inkwell panicked.
Tyler Dream: Don't panic, it's just...probably a side effect of being in this world.
A Stranger Comes Over
*Happy Inkwell is playing with a snake on the side of the road.*
Tyler Dream: Happy, that's dangerous!
*Tyler runs over to Happy.*
Happy Inkwell, *looks confused*: But dad, it's not big enough to eat me.
Tyler Dream: But it can have poison in its fangs.
*Happy Inkwell picks up the snake.*
*Suddenly a stranger walks by and throws the snake away.*
The stranger: Don't play with living snakes, boi.
Happy Inkwell, *stares in baby*: Why?
Tyler Dream: Snakes have poison, or actually venom, in their fangs. And if they bite you, you can go to sleep forever.
Happy Inkwell: But it was small. How would it have enough venom to hurt me?
Tyler Dream: It just needs a little venom to hurt someone.
*Tyler wraps his arms around Happy and hugs him protectively.*
*Happy Inkwell hugs him.*
The Stranger: Always listen to your father, boi.
*Happy Inkwell points to the stranger.*
Happy Inkwell: Nom nom milk?
Tyler Dream: No, sweetie. Do you want your baba?
Happy Inkwell: Baba!
*Tyler picks up Happy and carries him inside to the kitchen. Tyler opens the fridge door and grabs Happy’s bottle, holding it up to his beak.*
*Happy Inkwell sucks it.*
*Tyler smiles.*
Tyler Dream: Good boy.
*Suddenly they hear a knock on the door.*
*Tyler cradles Happy and goes to the door, opening it.*
*In the doorway stands the stranger.*
The stranger: Mind if I come inside? I'm hungry.
Tyler Dream: Sure, come in.
*The stranger walks in.*
*Tyler leads the way to the kitchen.*
*Happy Inkwell makes baby noises.*
*Tyler kisses Happy’s belly and turns to the stranger.*
Tyler Dream: You can have whatever you want from the pantry or fridge.
The stranger: Don't mind if I do.
*Happy Inkwell is drinking milk.*
*The stranger robs the fridge and puts his meal on the table.*
*He starts devouring his meal like a pig*
*Happy Inkwell points to the stranger.*
Happy Inkwell: Nom nom meat?
Tyler Dream: You want meat, sweetie?
Happy Inkwell: Nom nom meat.
*Tyler gives Happy some sliced meat from the fridge.*
Happy Inkwell eats it.
The stranger: This is some fine food.
Tyler Dream: Thank you.
Happy Inkwell: Daddy?
Tyler Dream: Yes, sweetie?
Happy Inkwell: Stranger.
Tyler Dream: Yes, sweetie. It’s a stranger. But you’re supposed to be nice to strangers.
The stranger: Your father is right.
*Tyler smiles.*
Happy Inkwell: But grandpa eats strangers.
Tyler Dream, *quietly*: Uh…you shouldn’t do as grandpa does.
The stranger: Your grandpa eats people?
Happy Inkwell: He says they aren't people.
Tyler Dream, *quietly*: Sweetie, you shouldn't be telling this stranger that.
Happy Inkwell: Why?
The stranger: Guess someone needs a beating.
Tyler Dream, *to the stranger*: I think it’s time for you to leave.
Happy Inkwell: No hurt Grandpa!!
The stranger look at Happy and says
The stranger: I won't hurt him
Happy Inkwell: But you said beat.
The stranger: That was metaphorical, beat the sin out of him using prayer.
*Happy Inkwell sucks on his thumb.*
Tyler Dream: Okay…
*Tyler comforts Happy by giving him a forehead kiss and hugging him.*
Suddenly it begins pouring out of the sky.
*Tyler looks out the window.*
Tyler Dream: Wow, it started raining hard all of a sudden.
*The stranger looks outside and says.*
The stranger: it rains just as hard as when Noah built his Ark, not that I was there to see it mind you
*Happy Inkwell is scared.*
*Tyler cuddles Happy.*
Tyler Dream: Should you get home before it rains harder?
*Happy Inkwell nuzzles into him.*
The stranger: Home? I have no home.
Happy Inkwell: Nom nom Daddy?
*Tyler gives Happy his bottle again.*
Tyler Dream: Do you…want to stay in a spare bedroom? I’d feel bad if I let you stay out in the rain.
*Suddenly a loud thunder crash is heard.*
The stranger: Guess I'll take you up on that offer
*Happy Inkwell is sleepy.*
*Tyler picks up Happy and begins taking him to his bedroom, pointing out a spare bedroom for the stranger.*
Happy Inkwell: Daddy, I'm not eepy.
Tyler Dream: Sure you’re not, sweetie.
*Tyler cuddles Happy in bed, holding Happy’s head to his heart.*
*The stranger enters the bedroom.*
*Happy Inkwell runs away*
Happy Inkwell: No eep!
*Tyler gets out of bed and follows Happy.*
*The stranger peeks his head out of the door.*
The stranger: What's this noise?
Tyler Dream: Sorry, my son doesn’t want to go to bed just yet. Sweetie, c’mon, it’s time for bed.
Happy Inkwell: No!
*Happy Inkwell runs into the stranger's room.*
Tyler Dream, *to the stranger*: Sorry.
*The stranger picks up Happy.*
The stranger *to Tyler* It's fine.
Happy Inkwell: No! No!
*Happy Inkwell falls asleep immediately.*
*Tyler carries Happy back to bed and cuddles him.*
*The stranger goes to sleep as well.*
**It is morning, the sun rises and the cock crows three times.**
*Happy Inkwell wakes up, tries to jump out the window to catch the cock.*
*Tyler manages to grab Happy before he jumps out the window.*
Tyler Dream: That’s dangerous, sweetie.
Happy Inkwell: Cock.
Tyler Dream: Yes, sweetie. It’s a rooster.
Happy Inkwell: Want a rooster.
*Suddenly they smell something delicious coming from downstairs.*
*Tyler cradles Happy and carries him downstairs.*
Happy Inkwell: Food!
*Tyler carries Happy to the kitchen.*
Happy Inkwell: Look a note!
*In the kitchen the stranger can be seen cooking, the tables are filled with all kinds of foods.*
Tyler Dream: Where did all this food come from??
The stranger: I found it in the pantry.
Tyler Dream: H-how? I didn’t have all this food.
*Tyler marvels at all the food on the table.*
*The stranger looks at Tyler and says…*
The stranger: Some things are left better unexplained.
*Tyler sits Happy in his chair and sits down to eat.*
*Happy Inkwell eats food.*
Happy Inkwell: Nom nom nom nom!
*The stranger says…*
The stranger: I also refilled the pantry.
Happy Inkwell: Who are you?
The stranger: The name's Yahweh.
*With those words Yahweh walks out of the door and into the morning sun.*
The End?
Tyler Dream: I feel so replaced by Walter when Walter helps with the baby.
Frankie Bombshell: Come on Tyler, we can have fun.
Happy will be fine.
Happy Inkwell: Mommy, I need help.
Frankie Bombshell: Not now, sweetie.
Walter Leech: Sure I can help open the... Who are you?
Happy Inkwell: Daddy, what's wrong with grandpa?
Ickbbar Critic Ted: You are such a baby. Little crybaby. You are worthless and useless.
Happy Inkwell: Daddy help!
Walter Leech: Sweet wife can we go on a date?
Tyler Dream: No, the baby is sick.
Walter Leech: ...I understand.
Dylan Dragotta: I know your dad is physically attached to you because he's jealous of me, a 7 year old, but can you come outside?
Tyler Dream: My babyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Happy Inkwell: Daddy? Can you come back home? I'm scared and I need you..
Happy Inkwell: Daddy?