Differentiating ESFJ & ISFJ
In ESFJs and ISFJs, you will usually find more similarities than differences. However, when contrasting these types to one another you will generally find:
ESFJs are more warm (if healthy), and will either mirror the emotions/demeanours of those around them or be very emotionally effected by other peoples feelings. If they do not like someone in a group, they will not exclude them as the opinions of the majority matters to them (however they might try to influence others opinions of that person). Can be VERY persuasive (or manipulative). Like verbal affirmation and compliments.
ISFJs are more reserved, and prefer one on one time, or smaller groups. Rather than controlling a group, they would like to serve it. They are slightly more open in sharing their opinions, and if they dislike someone they would prefer to keep a distance from them if possible. Instead of compliments, they like loyalty and appreciation for their efforts.
Margaery Tyrell + Sansa Stark (Game of Thrones)
Margaery (ESFJ) has exceptional Fe, and plays pretty much everyone she talks to like a fiddle (minus Cersei). She sees Sansa as a way to ensure they Tyrells get control of The North (by marrying her to Margaery’s brother). It’s pretty difficult to be sure of any of her real motives beyond just wanting “to be THE Queen”, however it’s safe to assume that everything she does is to support her own ambition. She walks Sansa around beautiful gardens, telling childhood anecdotes, having girl-talk, leading up to propositioning her to marry Loras. She tells her how amazing their lives would be together, and really sells it... and conveniently doesn’t mention that Loras is gay.
Sansa (ISFJ) has such an intense longing to belong that when Margaery comes to her with all of these plans to send her to live in the beautiful High Garden and marry the handsome Loras, she is the happiest we have ever seen her in the show. Finally her Si dream of living in a castle with a Prince was going to come to fruition. She can’t see that this is a grab at her right to Winterfell, and doesn’t even consider that Margery could have an ulterior motive.
Another fictional example would be grandmother and grandaughter, Emily Gilmore and Rory Gilmore from Gilmore Girls.
Real Life Example -
Taylor Swift and Kim Kardashian
Enemies lol but I’m gonna try be impartial even tho I have strong opinions on what happened
Taylor (ESFJ) outgoing, prefers larger friend groups, cares very deeply for her friends, fans and family. Doesn’t want to rock the boat and prefers to solve conflict quietly rather than publicly (she generally sends people bouquets to smooth things over). In 2014-16, a huge topic of conversation in the media was her “squad”, which has since shrunk to a more select, closer-knit group of friends. Taylor doesn’t do paid meet-and-greets, but rather hand selects her fans to meet off of their social media accounts online.
Kim (ISFJ) while not as outwardly warm, fiercely protects her family and brand reputation, and will not hesitate to call people out publicly if she feels threatened. However, if people within her family are acting in a fashion she deems inappropriate, she will try to talk to them privately (as filmed by the KUWTK team lol) rather than call them out publicly (unless it’s for a publicity stunts for the show). You can see struggles to control her husband Kanye when he wants to rant, as she doesn’t have the dom-Fe knack for persuasion.
Another real life example would be sisters Amy Cimorelli and Lauren Cimorelli from the band Cimorelli.