#ugh so

[harufluff]

guess who had to go to school for student council today!! i woke up too early and i’m so tired now. the fucking president go why do i have to. i’m simply a historian 🙄🙄

[paradisetemporarilymisplaced]

,

[jedinerds]

i feel so unlovable lately i don't know if that's even a real actual word the english language is weird, but anyways,

unlovable. right? impossible to love. be loved.  i don't know. whatever. unlovable. that's how i feel

honestly? it kinda sucks, i have an unappealing personality, a clumsiness to my step, a body that needs more exercise and so many emotional issues that would probably make Freud or whatever go “yikes”

so it’s not surprising that at twenty-years-old i never had a real meaningful relationship i never heard a sincere “i love you” or had someone holding my hand through the ups and downs i never had the perfect kiss

so. i’m bummed out a little today. because even though i believe there’s something good coming to the romantic part of my life i’m a little afraid too. i don’t wanna love someone only to have them not love me back. oh wow. that sounds... awful? selfish? terrible? all of the above? yup, it does. but still. i wanna be loved back this time. i want that perfect kiss under the rain or the moonlight. i want someone to call mine.

the thing is, even though i want all of those things i also want to protect myself from another love tragedy, i don’t want to watch someone fall out of love with me i don’t want to watch them leave i don’t want to be have the conversation that couples have the one where they just look at each other and their eyes meet in that awkward way because they know: what once used to mean everything suddenly means nothing

i don’t want that. but i want everything that comes before. i want the love. i want the laughs. i want the companionship. i want the warm feeling in your chest when you look at someone else and think “i’m so glad i’m in love with you”  because you know they won’t break your heart. you know what you have it’s something real and meaningful.

and i don’t know. i’m getting ahead of myself. i don’t even have someone to love yet. i mean. god. am i even capable of loving someone like that? i barely feel anything these days. it’s like my emotions decided to go on vacation for a little while. and the only way i can’t translate what’s going on in my head properly is to write this thing and keep hitting enter to give the impression that this is deep and philosophical instead of the mess of jumbled thoughts this actually is or. you know. maybe i just like to pretend that i’m a poet. anyways. there are so many things that i want to ask. like. am i capable of loving someone? is someone capable of loving me back?

am i unlovable? or have i just not found love yet? the only answer i do have right now, is for the question that goes “should i get ice cream?” so yeah. i’m gonna go and get ice cream.

[hollywoodparrot]

Katy Perry Reveals BF Orlando Bloom Helped Write Her DNC Speech!

Katy Perry Reveals BF Orlando Bloom Helped Write Her DNC Speech!

Now that’s #RelationshipGoals! Katy Perry gave a beautiful speech at the Democratic National Convention on Thursday to endorse Hillary Clinton for President! But Miz Perry didn’t come up with those powerful words entirely on her own! On Friday, the gorgeous gal admitted that she had a little help from her British beau Orlando Bloom! When HelloGiggles co-founder Sophia Rivka Rossi quoted a line…

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[themonsters-under-my-bed]

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[stage-managed]

I did some remodeling at work today 😶

[nealshadow]

also I want a new serious hobby to start in 2016 and im totally split between learning to dance and learning to play the keyboard Fffffuckk I gotta decide