Jan 22, 2019
He?
seen from Kuwait
seen from United States
seen from Canada
seen from Switzerland
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from Yemen
seen from Romania
seen from China
seen from Italy
seen from Germany
seen from Russia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Malaysia
seen from Yemen
seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from Malaysia
He?
Modigliani at its finest
Ik ben nog steeds op zoek naar redenen om het leven te vieren. Het lijkt me daarom beter om elke dag voor de zekerheid toch iets te drinken zodat ik De Reden niet missen kan. Ik wil niets overdoen maar uiteindelijk keert alles wel eens terug.Twee weken geleden verschoof ik mijn bed tegen de muur en daarbij duwde ik al mijn problemen mee de wand in. Ergens groeit het besef dat de fles shampoo op kot altijd leger zal zijn dan mijn hoofd, maar zolang het niet barst is er nog altijd hoop en vettig haar. Daar klink ik op.
Er zijn dagen waarop mijn fiets niet gestolen is. Dan wandel ik op wieltjes naar plaatsen waar ik niet welkom ben. Waar de weekends maar één dag duren. Waar het altijd lijkt te sneeuwen, en voordat het licht wordt iedereen verdwenen is. Er zijn dagen waarop ik geen fiets leen, enkel de eigenaar ervan. Maar vanavond niet.
Misschien een andere keer.
TUSSEN WAAN EN WERKELIJKHEID
DE WANDELING
April, 2018
Choose life.
Choose designer lingerie, in the vain hope of kicking some life back into a dead relationship. Choose handbags, choose high-heeled shoes, cashmere and silk, to make yourself feel what passes for happy. Choose an iPhone made in China by a woman who jumped out of a window and stick it in the pocket of your jacket fresh from a South-Asian Firetrap. Choose Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram and a thousand others ways to spew your bile across people you’ve never met. Choose updating your profile, tell the world what you had for breakfast and hope that someone, somewhere cares. Choose looking up old flames, desperate to believe that you don’t look as bad as they do. Choose live-blogging, from your first wank ‘til your last breath; human interaction reduced to nothing more than data. Choose ten things you never knew about celebrities who’ve had surgery. Choose screaming about abortion. Choose rape jokes, slut-shaming, revenge porn and an endless tide of depressing misogyny. Choose 9/11 never happened, and if it did, it was the Jews. Choose a zero-hour contract and a two-hour journey to work. And choose the same for your kids, only worse, and maybe tell yourself that it’s better that they never happened. And then sit back and smother the pain with an unknown dose of an unknown drug made in somebody’s fucking kitchen. Choose unfulfilled promise and wishing you’d done it all differently. Choose never learning from your own mistakes. Choose watching history repeat itself. Choose the slow reconciliation towards what you can get, rather than what you always hoped for. Settle for less and keep a brave face on it. Choose disappointment and choose losing the ones you love. As they fall from view, a piece of you dies with them. And so you can see that one day in the future, they will all be gone and there’s nothing left of you to call alive or dead. Choose your future
Choose life