#uncle newt

[restlesshush]

My friend made me this 🥰

[friend-through-teenage-nights]

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Transcript under cut:

Newt: Well, since you have summoned me to celebrate Jeremy Wilkinson's life, with a paeon of praise.

Jeremy Wilkinson, boy for all seasons

From conkers in autumn to swimming in spring

Hobbies, achievements, so many and various

O muse of poetry, now let us sing

Jeremy Wilkinson, friend of humanity

Put up the blackouts for old Mrs Moor

Tireless cadger of Saucepans for Spitfires

Can't be long now til he wins us the war

Jeremy Wilkinson, promising pianist

Firm with the left hand, loud with the right

Just let him loose on the William Tell Overture

That's when you'll know that you've been in a fight!

Jeremy Wilkinson's shrapnel collection

Viewed by his rivals with envious eyes

How very cunning to pick a collection

Where daily new specimens fall from the skies

Jeremy Wilkinson, grizzled old veteran

Eighth of October, an auspicious date

This is the day that, at least unofficially

He stops being seven, and starts being eight

Jeremy Wilkinson, famously courteous

To please his old uncle, will now close his eyes

Sadly, his mother is stuck on a narrowboat

Somewhere near Stratford

Or is she?

(door opens)

Vanessa: Surprise!

Jerry: Mummy!

[End credits]

John: (voiceover) 1943, Spetwith.

Newt: And so, Jack returned in triumph to the village, and his mother wept tears of joy, and the villagers sang paeons of praise. The end.

(Jerry clapping)

Jerry: What's paeons.

Newt: Paeon is a long poem about how wonderful you are.

Jerry: Oh! Can I have one?

Newt: Not now. Maybe for your birthday.

Jerry: Ohh, alright. Goodnight.

Newt: Goodnight. Sleep tight!

Jerry: (chanting) Don't let the bedbugs bite.

[aspeccharactersoftheday]

Oswald “Uncle Newt” Nightingale from John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme is aromantic asexual!

[cupparosielee]

O. Nightingale - Jerry's poem for Uncle Newt

My Uncle Newt, that prince of men

Lived out his threescore years and ten

And then another score besides

And then nine more

And then he died.

A shame to miss his century?

No, I can hear his little cough.

Ninety-nine's all very well

One hundred would be showing off.

A slippery fish, was Uncle Newt,

Though newts and fish are not the same!

And uncle is not strictly true

And Newt of course was not his name.

His real name I never knew,

And come to that I still don't know.

Though living with him through the war

I found out it began with O.

For on brown envelopes I read

In formal letters, stiff and blank,

O. Nightingale. Oh, what a name!

A cry of Keats from Barclays bank!

And what a man! He took me in

A scared and lonely boy of four

And promptly set me writing rhymes

He promised me would win the war.

He paid a ha'penny per verse

On strict condition that they scanned.

Such kindly busy work to give.

He little knew what he began.

Teacher. Storyteller. Friend.

Kindly. Wise. Absurd. Astute.

Well, since you ask me for a toast...

O. Nightingale. Oh, Uncle Newt!

[mywingsareonwheels]

Every story would be improved by having Oswald “Uncle Newt“ Nightingale in it.

Because he is sweet and delightful and ace and brilliant and is a teacher and a poet and the most uncley uncle to ever uncle even though he is in fact lying when he says he’s an uncle.

[cuddlykukalaka]

JFSP TMHT

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Because I can't seem to find the sketch by itself anywhere else.

[o-uncle-newt]

As I do several times a year (and yes I know it only first aired in 2021), I just listened to JFSP S9 on a three hour flight recently and oh man it is still everything I love about it.

Usually when I'm listening to Cabin Pressure or JFSP in public, the issue is laughing out of nowhere and freaking people out- in this case I wonder whether people were weirded out by me just bursting out in these enormous pure cathartic smiles every so often which I'm sure were demented-looking, or the several times I sniffled.

(Incidentally, I already start crying in that first Since You Asked Me. On my first listen when I was super skeptical, hearing "perhaps there's been a mixup" "possibly" was what first made me think "oh, okay, this is going somewhere interesting and I need to keep listening to find out what"- now every time I hear that exchange I tear up a bit. And then, and I don't take credit for this realization at all, I read it from someone else online, but the whole fact that the Since You Asked Me is about not being able to take credit for what you have created, and instead allowing someone else to take the credit because you know it will make them happy, and that being the thing that causes the narrator to call them hero turtles, and all of this is from Uncle Newt at Vanessa's funeral...! I was wiping away tears.)

[lothiriel84]

Poll containing spoilers for JFSP series 9 under the cut:

Do you reckon Uncle Newt is aromantic as well as asexual?

Yes (aroace)

No (ace but not aro)

No idea/does it really matter?

Voting ended onJul 2, 2023