#unconvenient

[sublimespiritoracle]

True, deep and never ending love. #consuming #ridiculous #unconvenient #realove (at Mumbai, Maharashtra) https://www.instagram.com/p/CQC8BoQLgZT/?utm_medium=tumblr

[w-t-f-amiherefor]

warning - don't watch if you're squeamish ! only posting this because dairy but CHOCOLATE in particular has been so hard to avoid, but trust me you won't be tempted by that Cadbury's after watching this. 

[hhopesanddreams]

Having a sore throat is so fucking uncomfortable &inconvenient!! Ive been sucking on halls for the past 2-3 days!!

[bettywhiteinabearmascotsuit]

The Tale of the Most Inconvenient Carjacker Ever.

Day 50 of Writing 365

He moved slyly through the dark cover of night. Dressed in all black, he was barely a ghost in the 4 am fog of the city. He looked from car to car lined along the street in parallel parking bliss. Now the fun would begin. 

He moved quickly toward a new-looking Toyota Camry, pulling a coat hanger from the bag that hung from his left shoulder. He worked quickly and quietly until the driver’s side door was unlocked. He got into the car and sat for several minutes seeming to zone out on the dashboard and then he got to work. 

First was the radio: he changed each preset radio station according to its opposite. The country station became nonstop rap, the top 100 channel became an independent college rock station, and when he tired of thinking in opposites he changed the rest to mariachi. For good measure he turned the volume to full blast. Next was the driver’s seat, he pulled the lever under the seat up and pushed back gently, only one click. Then he pulled the lever on the side of the seat, sitting the seat just slightly further upright. He then got out of the car and looked in the backseat; numerous coats, trash bags, and small pieces of jewelry were littered across the space. He popped the trunk and found only a small set of jumper cables. A smirk crept across his face as he moved everything from the backseat to the trunk and closed it tightly.

Feeling that he’d accomplished what he set out to do, he locked and closed the door, leaving the car almost as it was before. But before he walked away, he removed one wiper blade; the driver’s side of course.

He walked down the street away from his masterpiece, whistling a little tune and looking for his next piece of art. There at the end of the street he spotted it, an orange VW Bus. He walked quickly toward it, ready to remodel but before he reached it, he stopped. Spotting a Jeep with zip off plastic windows, he pulled a knife from his bag. He approached the vehicle, touched the cold plastic and sliced a three inch cut. It was small enough that it wouldn’t be noticeable right away. He smiled, looking at his craftsmanship and then repeated the process on each window. Normally he didn’t believe in real damage to the Vehicle, but this guy was asking for it.

He turned to the bus at the end of the street and started off for it once more. When he reached it, he got to work immediately opening the doors. He got into the driver’s seat but before he touched the radio, a new idea came to him. “These things take a while to warm up, especially in the winter weather we’ve been having,” he whispered to himself eagerly. He then began rolling each window down just a half an inch (after all, he didn’t want some one to come along and break in...), that would do the trick. Before exiting and re-locking the bus, he pushed the driver’s seat as far forward as would go and then he was on his way. He walked into the fading darkness and the fog that lifted with the coming sunrise, retreating for the coming day to wait until the madness of nightfall began again.

This story is dedicated to Jessica K. Liles, who was once harassed by the inconvenient carjacker and lived to tell the tale...er....have me tell the tale...sort of...