#underself

[underself]

I exist to see beauty in everyone and everything.

[createoneselff-blog]

The Old and the New

New things come, and we give a great amount of attention to whatever is new. It’s a refresher to the eyes, the body, the mind, and the soul. Something that is new, that will eventually fade into the stream of time. 

To think about it, most people cling to something so transient. I believe this is in itself is the reason for why they cling, because somewhere along the lines, they may just lose it. Without a hint of goodbye and a reminder to return.

Is that why they are so excited, every time something new comes into their life? But what about the other things they take for granted? Just because what was new has now become old, will be boxed and compartmentalized; to remain as remnants of the past, never to be opened again, and so moving on. 

People confuse the things that are worth it and what is not. Just because something is new, doesn’t mean it deserves all the attention; not because something is old, doesn’t mean it deserves to be put aside. For the most part, it’s the old ones that remain, that goes to show who’s worth the company and who’s not. What is worth keeping and what is meant to let go.

[underself]

Forgive

Forgive the ones who lied to you. Forgive the ones who betrayed you. Forgive the ones who abandoned you. Forgive the ones who cheated on you. Forgive the ones who fell out of love with you. Forgive the ones who left you. Forgive the ones who told empty promises and words. Forgive the ones who tainted your heart with memories and then ended up not finishing what was started. Forgive the ones who told you that they are sorry, but really aren’t. Forgive the ones who made you cry at night for countless days. Forgive the ones that made you feel empty. Forgive the ones that made you feel lonelier. Forgive the ones who kept you safe and secure to feeling insecure and having your walls up because of the fears that keep you from letting people in. Forgive them.

Let bitterness go. It’s not worth holding onto that’s not worth your time. You’ll realized how suffocating it can be if you continue to hold onto someone that’s no longer there or the pain that only devours you. It’ll make you breathe a little easier if you learn to forgive them. It’ll make you feel better. Forgive the ones that hurt you. Believe me. Forgiveness may take a lot of strength and courage, but the truth is that you deserve to be okay and to let go of something or someone that doesn’t deserve you.

[createoneselff-blog]

Things you wouldn’t have regretted if things went according to plan.

There are many things I would have gladly categorized as happy memories if the path did not diverge from the supposed destination. Hence I live with this sinking thought that it would be much better if I had not done it after all. 

You know when people say how things feel right; just the right moment that you can’t explain with no given vocabulary. Well, there are many things I wouldn’t have done or imagined myself performing but I still did them due to this spontaneous spur (i’d like to think it that way rather than being foolish). I guess this is what makes our lives eventful. It’s almost as if our subconsciousness have the better control of us. Just as we were walking down the pebbled path, our subconsciousness tells us to explore the rocky one. 

[createoneselff-blog]

It’s so hard to be friends with the person you feel so much for. When I say feel so much for, it actually makes sense. Where you feel so much towards someone that you have no word to describe such a frustrating feeling. Yes, I’m frustrated and yes I’m repeating myself. I’m so upset and frustrated yet so excited but confused and happy all at the same time. I wish I wasn’t such a stuff up with you, ‘cause if I wasn’t such a bitch about my feeling towards you in the first place, I wouldn’t be sitting here kicking myself over this.

[underself]

Bonding

I love bonding with old, current and new friends. I seem to get a feeling of who I really am and what the word “friends” really means. And when I mean bonding I mean just sitting around, talking, laughing, chillin’, food trippin; whatever that makes everyone focused on the same thing. Having everyone on the same topic and active makes me feel at ease. I feel all my stress and worries are temporarily put aside and I can finally just sit back and relax.

Bonding with friends lets me zoom out and look at myself from the bigger picture. Being able to connect with someone shows me what kind of person I am. It shows me the characteristics I like, dislike and discovered. After a good time with close friends, I look back at everything and see everything that makes me who I am today. I am someone who surrounded myself with people who have influenced me in the most positive and amusing ways. I couldn’t ask for any better friends. <3

[createoneselff-blog]

I want you, but you don’t want me. then you want me, but I don’t want you.

and this cycle repeats over and over again.

[createoneselff-blog]

My attempt on "light photography"