Hey, so genuinely, why does every anthro-bat fursona I just look like a dog (specifically German shepherd) sona with ‘bat-wings’ strapped to its back like it’s a renfair dragon? (Rant under cut)
None of them ever actually look like bats! I could be generous, and guess that they’re supposed to to be flying fox/mega bat/fruit bats… but even those look distinctly different from dogs!?!
Like, is an art style thing? Is the current generic furry art style that bad portraying animals that aren’t generic ‘cat’ or ‘German shepherd dog’?
Is it because grey headed flying foxes are one of the more popular and recognizable species of bat to most people? They aren’t the only type of flying fox nor is the flying fox the only type of fruit bats!
And don’t get me started on when they call it a ‘vampire bat’ , and it looks nothing like any of the three species of those… or even a micro bat in general!? They don’t have long muzzles! The face is small, and round, and sort of flat!! You might as well say “this is my vampire themed dog sona”…
Like… bat fursonas could be so much more interesting and varied if people just… actually looked at a real bat? Look at any type of bat! Different species have different have different body proportions (small and round, dorito, rounded rectangle, puff ball floof), different facial features (nose leafs/tubes, ear ridges/flaps, big ol’eyes, little button eyes, split lower lips…) , eat different things (small vertebrates, fish, fruits, flowers, bugs, blood)!! There is more that can be done with bats than ‘dog face’ and ‘only eat fruit or blood’!
I can literally come up with 20 distinct look bat fursonas! In fact, I will do so! And when I do I will add them to this post!!
The problem is that this still isn’t good enough for my mother.
I try not to post things like this because nobody likes to listen to a whiner, and I know it. Whining drives people away. But I hope you will bear it for this one time, because I need someone to talk to.
My mother is one of those people who sees nothing else when she is angry. And when she gets angry about one thing, she gets angry about everything. Every topic that’s ever grated on her nerves will come spewing out of her mouth when one thing goes wrong.
My mother does not like my sleep patterns. They work okay for me, and I still manage to do everything that I need to. But when it comes to my mother, everyone must act exactly as she expects them to, because she knows best, she is the authority and the center of the universe, and it is unfathomable that someone else might have a different opinion. Unfortunately, living with her puts me in close proximity to her, which means she is more aware when I don’t conform to these opinions.
Today my mother got mad about them again, and when she gets mad, she screams. I’ve been verbally and sometimes physically abused by her pretty much since I was in elementary school, when she developed cancer and started taking the pills that we think made her this way. Unfortunately, knowing what makes her this way really doesn’t help me feel any better about it.
The usual tirade followed. I am lazy. I mooch off of her. I am a liar. My Yale education was a complete waste because I am stupid. I have no friends—the ones online, who live far away, don’t count, and I can’t even keep up with them. I am a crazy person who loves fictional characters too much (Do you think, Mom? I “didn’t have any friends” in high school either, so when you went on one of your tirades then, and I had no one to talk to, I used them to imagine I was loved, because I need acceptance. What does it say that they’re better than you?) This is her house and she can take away my room, take away my Internet, threaten to burn my possessions.
But most baffling to me today was the fact that she seemed to completely ignore what she knows I’ve done—volunteer, and get an internship. She was insistent that I “only” work four hours a week, despite the fact that she knows that’s simply not true. Even when I reminded her of this, she ignored it.
So it seems that in the end, nothing I’ve done has made any impact on her. None of it matters. It is as nothing to her. She will not be satisfied with it until it is more, and will not be satisfied with me until I am everything she wants me to be—perfect. But I don’t feel like being perfect for her anymore. I did it for years, forgoing a social life to study the instruments she wanted, get the grades she wanted and get into the colleges she wanted (despite her now insisting that was nothing too, because “it was easy” for me, “I never had to work” as hard as others, and that she never wanted me to go to Yale, she wanted me to go to Princeton) and I’m finished with it.
The problem is that when she starts in like this, I feel even less like doing anything, because I feel that even if I do things, they still won’t be good enough for her. So why should I bother? This sort of disapproval was, I believe, instrumental in causing my depression before, and now, after today’s tirade, I can feel myself spiraling down into the same thoughts of self-doubt and worthlessness. I have things to do, but I don’t feel like doing any of them, just sitting curled in a ball and crying. Or going back to my ‘fictional characters.’
I hate her with a passion, yet because she’s my mother, in some sick, twisted way, I still need her approval. My father has told me I need to get over this and I’m trying, but I can’t seem to do it. I feel bad for her, because I know that she has no friends, and that she is unhappy with her life, despite her insistence that the only thing that makes her unhappy is me. But I can’t stop being upset.
I’m feeling very worthless now, so if you could just take a minute to try to motivate me to do this work I need to do, or give me a little drop of acceptance or encouragement, I’d very much appreciate it. I know I put too much weight on what she thinks, and I’m working on stopping it, but it just pains me to know that she’ll never really love me for who I am, and never see any of the work that I do unless it’s in accordance with the worldview she’s set up for herself. Thanks for reading my rant. I appreciate it, and I’ll try not to do it again too much.
