#unhinged post

[xpinkchampagne97]

Victor has very nice thighs.

I'd bite his thighs.

[sadiegirl2021]

There's nothing sexier than a man beating his father-in-law with a wooden chair for the abuse he's inflicted on his wife!

Riftan, baby! You did the right thing. Hit him harder!

[mystery-the-pupp3t]

vampire daddy Heinz

[the-most-humble-blog]

Dad told Ahsoka I used to sniff her panties after training. Not in a gotcha way. Not even as a joke. He said it like he was reading off a maintenance report:

“Yeah, he used to shove his face in ‘em like a stormtrooper checking for carbon scoring.”

Then sipped his coffee. Like nothing was said. Like he didn’t just out me as the galaxy’s most emotionally constipated pervert in front of my crush, my mentor, and the woman I’ve been mentally undressing since I was 15 and stupid with Force hormones.

And she just sat there. Didn’t even raise a lekku. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t laugh. Just looked me dead in the soul with judgment and said:

“Was that before or after you started jizzing into my socks?”

I choked on my caf. Spit on my muffin. Dad said nothing. Just nodded.

But I could tell he had his usual shit-eating grin.

Like a man who knows what betrayal tastes like. Like this was his revenge for the Death Star.

And yeah-- fuck that guy. Not just for saying it. But for being right.

Because I did. I still do. And she knew. Because Jedi laundry doesn’t just vanish. She left them folded. Pressed. Still warm. Still moist.

Like a dare. Like bait. Like... revenge.

And now I gotta sit here in this goddamn brunch booth, my dick basically performing Order 69 in my pants, while Vader sips from a travel thermos like he didn’t just narrate my origin story as the galaxy’s most pathetic panty-sniffing Force user to the woman I still literally dream about pinning me to a training mat and saying:

“Call me Master while you beg.”

This is for those who've ever had a crush that could murder you with a single thought…

Yeah.

Reblog if you feel Luke got the raw-end of a wookie spear.

[sperkgirl]

wolfgirl walter white: i am the one who knots

[onedayatatime333]

Just drank cranberry juice. I need someone to taste-test this coochie.

[average-hyperfixator]

I'm just thinking about the time I was explaining Gary lore to a friend of mine, and ofc I was mentioning his birth, and for that I need to bring up the second death ritual, and for that I need to bring up the infant sacrifices, and when she was like "where do the babies go?!?!" I was just "idk" and then the following interaction happened;

*me quoting the game*

"After several days of sacrifices, something happened"

"😦"

"a tiny hand reached out"

"😲"

"we pulled out a baby, it looked like a regular human, just like you and me. We named it Gary"

"GARY ATE THE BABIES?!!?! 😰😨"

cue several minute long laughter from me and then a moment of "wait that might be right" followed by more laughter

everyone needs a friend not in their fandom to hear wild theories from

[wake-up-get-up-get-out-there]

i can't fully explain it but i fucking hate "want to be close" because it's so damn THUMP THUMP THUMP but also it's catchy and it must be catchy because it gets stuck in my damn head every time i so much as think about it??? it's the definition of catchy to me...i'd never fucking listen to it for fun