Your post strikes me as off in a way that I can't articulate well. I ask you this in good faith: how much do you truly fear any slightly negative statement about a trans woman can result in other trans people or allies (which I assume they must be if they're a friend of yours in the first place) could result in her being harassed?
Again, attempting to approach this in good faith. I'm a trans woman who's been harassed off the ends of the earth when I was younger and I still have trauma over it, so I don't approach the subject lightly. I'm not trying to downplay it, just get a sense of where your feelings on the issue are.
oh it's you again. well forgive me if i take your claims of "good faith" with a tiny grain of salt here given our previous interactions, but i'll try and answer in kind as long as you do.
anyway, in my post i was speaking from personal experience, in many cases from conversations i have had with friends both past and present who are, as you surmised "other trans people and allies". and i would like to note here also that most of them i still consider friends.
the thing is, when you are a victim of transmisogyny and harrassment, and just plain bullying, you start to notice patterns in how things work. and since the nature of these things is that they don't get said to your face, often where you notice it first, if you're paying attention, is not when it is directed at you, but when you are seeing it directed at other trans women you know.
so one of the things that i have noticed, and one of the things which i am sure has been said many times by many people more eloquent than me, is that transfems aren't afforded space to be flawed in the same way other people are. the things we say and do are interpreted uncharitably because a lot of non-transfems still (whether consciously or not) view us as dangerous or "male-brained". so whenever vague language is used about us, others have a tendency to interpret it in the worst way they can. "i don't like her very much", "i have personal beef with her", "she's kind of weird" etc. immediately get jumped to "she must be a (creep/predator/pedophile/whatever else this person views as the greatest evil)"
and when you've seen all this happen, when you've seen sites like kiwifarms get set up entirely around harassing us, when you've seen people, friends of yours uncritically parrotting how x or y tranny did x or y awful thing and that's why she totally deserves all of the harassment she gets, you start to get a little jaded around all of this kind of vague talk. you start to wonder what things others are saying to their friends about you and what ways those friends are interpreting those things. and perhaps, in the middle of a conversation with a tme friend, you decide to just drop whatever quarrels you had with some random trans woman you know because last time you said something like that to them, they with full confidence said "she's a bitch and we don't like her" the next time that woman was brought up, and you wondered to yourself in that moment if a cis woman would have been instantly demonised in that way.
and all of this is, after all, just my own experiences. maybe i really am just living in a bubble or being paranoid and maybe in the rest of the world really is nice to transfems all the time. i sure would like it if that was the case. but judging by the number of people who resonated with my posts about this, i'm willing to err on the side of that not being the case. i would rather 100 people think im being a paranoid bitch for protecting my transfem sisters than one transfem be hurt indirectly by something i said.
ellievsbear
kianamaiart
vaporwave
prguitarman
kaledo-art
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
andulkaphoto
