#unicorn shit

[ieatmacbooks]

Child abuse

Ya'll I just had a shower and washed mah hair right and it felt rly fluffy and soft and like a cloud unicorns could dance on and do their rainbow shits but it was also wet bcuz it was in water and that's how science works so i brushed it put clothes on and started reading an article about the brain case of a stegosaurus and my dad walks into my room and goes why is your hair wet?

I say " bcuz i had a shower " he goes " Ik I heard u screeching " - I was singing Hamilton but ok dude - and then he proceeds to grab the towel off my chair and says " I'm gonna dry your hair " I then jump out of bed and start running around the house screaming child abuse - because I'm mature -

my mother then starts to cheer for me and block my father from drying my hair all whilst my hair was just air drying and we didn' t even need the towel anymore.

[arachn0philia]

@sinnerxroulette replied to your post “// angel thinks a lot of the spidery cliches are...”:

we're all down for the spiderman kiss scenario

​// all of us really here just parked behind our keyboards. waiting for the Optimal Plot Time to shoehorn in the spiderman kiss without it sounding Too Out Of Left Field Batshit

[theunicornsbreeder]

A cup of magical tea made with unicorn's shit

Una tazza di tea magico preparato con cacca di unicorno

🦄💩

[mrawkweird]

Can't get out of 2018 fast enough.

[bolobauz]

Slow Cooker Beef and Cheese Pasta & Unicorn No-Bake Cheesecake! Dinner wasn’t bad, but I realized too late that I didn’t take pictures of the process of making either of these. A picture of tomorrow’s lunch and an eaten Cheesecake will have to do. The Unicorn cheesecake was incredibly easy! All you needed was 1 graham cracker pie crust, 2 8oz packages of cream cheese, 1 cup sugar, 2 cups heavy whipping cream, 1 tbsp of vanilla extract, and assorted food coloring. Sprinkles optional. Beat the cream cheese and sugar until combined. Beat 2 cups heavy whipping cream until stiff peaks form. Combine vanilla extract and separate into smaller bowls (dependent on how many different colors you have). Then spoon the cream cheese mixtures into pie crust and mix a bit. Add sprinkles now. Let it chill in the fridge for a few hours and boom! Looks like a unicorn shit into your pie and it doesn’t taste half bad. The texture is really light and has a subtle cheesecake flavor. The pasta looked easy but was not. Most of the ingredients must be precooked prior to slow cooking (so wtf is the point of a slow cooker??) and I used a lot more of the ingredients than the recipe specified. Pretty sure I used almost 1.5 cans of marinara/pasta sauce instead of the recommended 1 can etc. Hoping to make this low carb soon!

[kawaii-watermelon-meme-princess]

[6od]

Someone told me they bought a Squatty Potty for Prime Day, and I was like, “What the fuck is a Squatty Potty?” at which point I was linked to a website of this video, where a man eats unicorn rainbow shit like soft serve.

[slogirl64]

My pet unicorns, pastel painting