UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE 2021/22, Episode 12
GASP! As any regular reader will know, I am extremely biased in favour of arts colleges, and the sight of a music college at the start of this week’s show caused my heart to double-time. Honestly, I haven’t been so excited since Courtauld’s magnificent run two seasons ago.
DUNDEE: 145
ROYAL NORTHERN COLLEGE OF MUSIC: 135
Team Vibe:
Dundee: a dinner party, with a Spotify playlist entitled Chilled Out Weirdness, featuring lots of mid-price wine, with polite goodbyes
Royal Northern College of Music: a dinner party, with a Spotify playlist entitled Weird Vocal Shit My Opera Teacher Won’t Like, featuring lots of mid-price wine, descending into the ad-hoc multi-person performance of Eight Songs for a Mad King with additional piano
Grandad Count: RNCM the slightly older with an average age of 24. Who cares! They’re MY PEOPLE.
Diversity Count: Not the worst, but not the best.
Style News: Dundee the clear winners here, bringing two bold images in the form of strawberry knitted tank top (Russell) and fishy – carp? – print shirt (Spurrell). RNCM, I expect more from you! Plain-coloured tops WILL NOT DO.
Cult Hero Of The Episode: I was dreadfully tense for this episode, because musicians (including one composer, Wills, who looked familiar, and two vocalists, my specialism) on UniChall is basically the same as me being on there. It was a shaky start, and it looked like the casually confident Dundee were going to punish them (I did like Captain Stonier’s unflappability), but minute by minute, RNCM clawed their way back. The last time I was so heartily shouty at the telly I was watching the Euros final. YES! Musicians CAN know stuff about pickled plums and Russian physicists! I’m giving it to all them, because though they were just pipped to the post, they might hopefully come back as a high-scoring loser.
Handsome Person of the Episode: Captain Chrisp was giving me Anya Taylor-Joy in The Queen’s Gambit vibes. But mmm, Carew. Except for the tattoo of some music on your arm (if this must be done I insist it must be in 5/8 and be serialist), you had me at ‘Sega Genesis?’.
Horror Bonus Round: (Jez, reading this in one breath, the timbre of his voice descending with increasing gloom): ‘Astrophysicists uses the abbreviation CDM for the universal material that is assumed to exist with little or zero relative velocity under the under the standard cosmological model. CDM stands for ‘Cold what?’
Regular Music Fail By Composition PhD-owning Composer, Kerry Andrew: ‘The X-Files!’ I yelled, in terror, after 1.234 seconds of the synth-based TV theme round, when I have watched all of Stranger Things (the correct answer) twice because I loved it so. ARGH! Wasn’t quick enough to get Bladerunner or Assault on Precinct 13, though did get Twin Peaks in a heartbeat, because we watched it after Girl Guides in 1990. Good God, I’m old. Props to Carew for getting the Beethoven piano question in no time at all.
Dream Bonus Question Round: 2/3 in the screenwriters round, 2/3 in the Women’s Prize for Fiction, 2/3 in the British coastal geography (’Scarbados!’ I shouted), 3 out of 4 in the John Le Carre film adaptions. Standard.
Jezza-Watch: It’s time for Let’s Guess What’s On Jezza’s Tie! What was it tonight? Owls? Snails? Answers welcome; I need to know.
‘Low temperature fusion?’ guessed Dundee’s Captain Stonier. ‘No, it was cold fusion,’ said Jez, stony-faced, in the manner of a terrifying 1970s headmaster from a children’s horror novel. ‘We asked for a two-word term and you gave a three-word term.’ ‘OK. Sorry,’ said Captain Stonier, meekly, bearing the brunt for all of us.
‘Who’d have thought time-wasting would be so useful?’ Jezzo said, after the gaming bonus round. Oh Jeremy, you don’t even BELIEVE in your own curmudgeon-li-ness. You’re not fooling anyone, you know...
Kerry and Andy’s Score: 25, with Andy doing the majority of the leg-work.
Brain Food: Hearty vegetable soup. WINTER IS COMING.
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