𝓑est 𝓕riends / PT 1
You had a big fat crush on Tom Kaulitz, your own best friend and it drove you crazy.
The way he smiled and laughed with you made your stomach do a weird flip every single time. When he knew exactly what you needed, whether something small or big, important or not as important, it made your heart swell with love.
It was impossible to not fall for him. You felt a little sad because you were so sure that he viewed you as his best friend, not as someone more than that. And it ached, but you still loved him anyway.
Your crush had probably started a long time ago, a time where you had no worries, and life was just simple as a kid. Tom and you would playground flirt: he'd tug your hair then you'd kick his ankle. Even if it was only puppy love, you didn't care. You had a crush on Tom and that was all that mattered.
You always got into trouble, doing stuff you shouldn't. But Tom was always there and didn't mind, always being patient with you. Even when you got angry easily. He was always there to defend you when your mom would shout at you or scold you, rubbing your back soothingly. Your shenanigans slowed down, but you still got into trouble nonetheless. Tom never cared about it and still insisted on hanging out with you.
As you two grew older, he became even more handsome than you always thought he was. He dropped the same style as his twin brother, Bill, and chose more of a streetwear look. Baggy shirt and jeans, chunky shoes, a cap with bandana underneath it. He also changed his hair, opting for dreadlocks that were brown and a mix of blonde, which suited him well and made you want to look at him even more.
His jaw became more sharp and he definitely looked a little more mature. And my God, you almost fall out of your chair every time you saw him walk in your room. His height shot up that you had to tilt your neck up more to see his face when you talked to him. At first, he was just tall and lanky, but working out and body change made him more toned and muscular. Goddamn, he was hot.
You of course, matured, and you changed too. Your pigtails vanished, replaced with long, messy hair that reached your tailbone you barely brushed until it got too tangled that Tom had to help brush it. Your body filled in a little more, your curves becoming more prominent. But your height didn't change much, still stuck at 5'1. You did secret squats in your room and was once discovered by Tom who had clowned you for the next week for it. But he always teased you for your height. That never changed, and you didn't mind.
Tom enjoyed flirting with you, and you flirted back, words and actions flowing smoothly, mostly because you actually did mean them, but weren't sure if it was reciprocated back. You two would say it was 'just an inside joke' but everyone else didn't think so.
And that made you secretly pleased.
Everyday, Tom came over to your house and vice versa. It didn't matter if you were quiet or fooling about the area. It was the fact you two were together that really, truly mattered.
Other people never really appealed to you as much as Tom did. Actually, you can't remember the last time you liked a guy that wasn't Tom. He had stolen your heart for the longest time and you didn't think it was gonna be returned back any time soon.
You were never ever going to be tired of the butterflies that swarmed your stomach every time he laughed with you. Or of the electric current that ran through you when he put a hand on your thigh. Or the warm sensation flooding you when he held you tight after a bad day.
He truly cared for you and it made people wonder what you two were. Some girls weren't happy with you, since you were so close and it made your blood boil when you saw them trying to flirt with Tom, who only responded with a polite smile and kept a good distance.
You felt selfish. Tom wasn't yours and you had no right to get angry about that. But you couldn't help it! How could you, when he was standing there, perfect and all, while some random girl was fawning over him? But you kept this feeling a secret, reserving your annoyance. After all, Tom was just your best friend, nothing more.
When you looked at him, you felt happy, lighter, like the world's pain was taken far, far way, but a wave of longing washed over you when you remembered he wasn't yours. Just a best friend and it made you smile tightly, like you were in pain, which you were.
Your diary silently took in all your thoughts and inner feelings, your hand scribbling furiously, the occasional tear slipping down your cheek and splattering onto the page, slightly smudging the freshly laid ink. Or a smile would play on your lips as you recount the close intimate-but-only-in-a-friendship-kind-of-way moments between you two: Tom held you close, rubbing circles on your back as you snored peacefully in his arms, waking up later to see his dreads sticking up in all directions and a content smile, as you believed it to be, turning up the corners of his mouth. Oh, it was one of the best things to wake up to.
The way his voice was low had a slight rasp to it made you shiver. "Hello, shatzi." he whisper to you quietly rubbing his thumb in lazy movements. "Hey Tom." you'd whisper back before closing your eyes in silent bliss. He'd just chuckle and squeeze you once, twice then pinch your cheek lightly. God, he wasn't helping with your nerves.
But it was fine, it was pleasant, like warm sun on your face after a cold season.
You can only smile sadly as you look at him. Never could you tell him that you liked, no loved him: you were too scared. What if he didn't like you back? What if he never wanted to see you again? What if he wouldn't want to be with you? It made your heart ache at the thought of him not reciprocating feelings back. It truly was a limerence.
authors note: hey hey hey guys! i finally have motivation to write, and dw, im not gonna leave it hanging sadly here, there is a part 2 coming soon. enjoy my lovely people :3
