*At the cheesecake factory
My sister, noticing the strange decorum: I think they're murdering people and putting them in the cheesecake.

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*At the cheesecake factory
My sister, noticing the strange decorum: I think they're murdering people and putting them in the cheesecake.
Fanfic written at 3am half asleep is a fever dream and the closest to god I will ever get.
When things start to go right, other things go wrong. Gifted such a strange miracle, but the work to maintain it eats me alive. How unfair.
I'm not huffing
Sometimes I just forget to fucking breathe
I'm not going 'uh-huh' uninterested because I don't care.
I'm saying it cause I'm deaf as fuck and need you to repeat the statement but I'm too awkward to ask.
Don't do that...
"What?"
Give me hope...
Then snatch it away
I don't know how to say this. Not sure how to phrase it. But I think I'm in love with you, but I'm not sure. But I'm sure I can't be with you. I'm not the one who gets to hold you, or kiss you, and dance with you at midnight to our favorite songs. That person will never be me. And it's eating me up inside.
Falling in love with someone you can't have is like growing up watching Spongebob Squarepants and then learning you can't fuckin' breathe under water.
Today's one of those bad days. Nothing went wrong, but I just feel empty again. Today feels wasted, pointless, the brightside is fading. I have tomorrow, but I wanted today.
I could make something of this if only I'd get up and move, but I'm glued down by lack of motivation. Time keeps moving on and I can't stop the clock, soon I'll have to go to bed and wake up tomorrow and today will be lost. I know I can do something, I know I have things I should do, but here I am...
Angry that I'm not moving, disappointed that I'm wasting time, sad that the day is almost lost... and yet...
Still empty.
Today I got to explain to my manager-at work-the plot and details of The Phantom Of The Opera. (Specifically the movie with Gerard Butler).
I got to rant for half an hour at least on what all happened, to a man who had no information at all.
Today was a good day.
Threw my phone onto my couch
Bounced off the couch
Hit the floor
The one thing I thought I could trust betrayed me...
Today, this happened.
My Harry Potter fan of an English teacher began talking of Oliver Wood, Captain of the Quidditch team, obviously a fangirl.
She began to wonder what he (the actor) looked like today and searched it. Watching her reaction, as a fellow fangirl (even if I'm not a huge Harry Potter fan) would do. And I had asked a very important question.
"Did he age like a fine wine or cheese?"
To which her answer was "Meh."
So that happened today.
Tomorrow I begin school once more.
Another year dedicated to classes I don't believe in and people who think they know me.
I'll wander the halls once more, staring at the remains of a place that once held hope for me. But there really isn't anything left here for me. I will awake, get on a bus, and return, a pattern so familiar to me my body already knows what to do. Does freedom start when I graduate, still so long from now?
Or does freedom start when the feeling of monotonous routine leaves, and is replaced with comfort and stability? And if so, will I ever be free then?
Here I am, making crepes at 11:30 a.m.
I have little to no intention of eating them.
But I am still making them.
Because the caffeine from the coffee I had at 7:30 a.m. refuses to fuck off.
So I must cook.