Rest Of Our Lives (And Whatever Is Beyond It) [Upstead]
yeah i couldn’t help myself after watching 9x09 i’m reeling i can’t breathe i love Upstead so much so here’s just a quick post-episode fic of Mr. and Mrs. Halstead waking up the morning after they got married!!!
Read on AO3!!!
She wonders if she’s dreaming. Maybe because she feels like she’s floating—high above the clouds where nothing and no one can touch her. Unless it’s him. She feels lighter than she has in so long, like every muscle in her body has loosened, every nerve relaxed, and it’s more than because she just had a close call with a terrible, horrible situation. Everything she’s feeling right now: this lightness, this bliss, this delight—it’s because of him.
Her husband. Her husband.
Hailey feels Jay behind her—really, she feels him all over, everywhere. His right arm is wounded under and around her and she uses it as her pillow, his bare chest is pressed to her bare back and she can feel the steady rhythm of his heart through his skin and into hers, and his freckled left arm is curled over her waist. And Hailey knows if she were to look down at his hand, she’d see the band on his ring finger that matches her own.
She looks down, and feels everything she expects to feel: dizzying happiness, blissful contentment, consuming love.
It’s real. This is real. She keeps having to tell herself that, because sometimes she’s still learning to trust this profound happiness she’s found for herself. Especially after this period of feeling like she was on the verge of losing it all. And instead of letting her do what she annoyingly sometimes does best, which is make herself worry about things that could go wrong, Hailey allows herself the grace of reveling in it.
Before Jay, Hailey never really gave marriage much thought. She’d been in relationships, she’d loved before, but none of them ever felt like they were it. None of them had felt like the peaceful, life-altering kind of love that she could settle down for. It didn’t help that her closest and most present example of marriage had been her parents, because she’d promised herself long ago that it wasn't something she ever wanted to be a part of. And the potential of bringing children into it? Hell no.
And then came Jay.
Stranger. Partner. Best friend. Lover. Husband. Everything she didn’t think she’d ever find, didn’t think she deserved. But she’d earned him. He wasn’t given to her, by any means. They earned what they have, fought tooth and nail for it, especially through recent events. Now they’re exactly where they want to be, and if this is a dream, it’s not one Hailey ever wants to wake up from.
The early morning sunlight filters through the blinds, and Jay’s internal clock is waking him up. She can sense it in the way his breathing lightens, his arm around her tightening, and the smile that grows on her lips is easy and automatic and an inherent response to Jay. His scruff tickles the skin of her neck, which he had spent the night kissing and biting and loving, just like the rest of her, as he places another kiss there.
And then he says the words that have Hailey’s heart melting by the sheer heat of love they’re spoken in.
“Good morning, Mrs. Halstead,” he rasps, quiet and reverent.
Mrs. Halstead. That’s who she is now. Hailey Anne Halstead. And she knows—and she knows Jay knows—that this new title isn’t a sign of her handing herself over to him. She’s not a man’s woman, hell no. Even Jay wouldn’t let her be that. No, this title is a sign of Hailey cementing the universal truth that is her heart—her Goddamn soul—belongs to Jay. Just like his belongs to her. They are not two halves of a person; they are whole, in their own right, and have laid themselves bare for the other—and they have been accepted. Wholly. Irrevocably.
For Hailey, her maiden name had been tied to a man who caused her so much pain, bruised, yet wearing it because it’s who she is, because she grew up and learned to carry the weight of it.
Her new name, though, is part of a man she loves most in this world, who helped shoulder her weight without being asked to, who sees all of her and loves her for it, not despite it.
And so her grin is wide, dimpled and bright, as she turns in his embrace while she greets back, “Good morning, husband,” just as her blue eyes connect with his green.
Those eyes. They look at her so intensely, nothing but a deep love bathed in purity. They’re so expressive, Jay’s eyes. They’re one of Hailey’s many favorite things about Jay—especially when he looks at her like that. He holds her close, their bare fronts pressed together under the warm blankets, their legs tangling together as he grins that sexy smirk. “That wasn’t too alpha-male for you?” Jay muses, his fingers running down her spine, and Hailey instantly thinks of the night before, her own nails digging into the skin of his back, lost in her consuming love and passion for him to the point where she drew blood. But Jay hadn’t minded. He’d enjoyed it.
Hailey laughs breathily at his question. “Nope,” she answers honestly. “It sounds right.”
Jay’s smile softens and she can feel his fingers play with her hair, brushing the locks off her shoulder. “I agree,” he murmurs before his gaze drops and he closes the distance between them, and Hailey is more than ready for the kiss he presses to her mouth.
It’s meant to be a good morning kiss, but they’re not off their high from last night. Hailey’s mouth opens under Jay’s, and he’s swift in sliding his tongue in, locked in a breathless dance with hers as her hand cups his cheek, the leg he’s got between hers tightening as he pulls her in. Hailey’s heart is thundering, like it does so every time she’s kissing Jay, electricity coming alive in her veins as she feels his left hand press to the small of her back, and the metal of his wedding band is cool against her skin in comparison to his warm touch, and it shoots a thrill down her spine at the acknowledgement of it.
His wedding band. They’re married.
And as intense, wonderful, dizzying it is to kiss Jay, those two words playing in her head make her grin against him, to the point where the kisses dissolve and Jay is chuckling as he pulls back slightly to look at her. “What?” he asks in amusement.
Her hand slides from his cheek to the back of his head, playing with the short strands of hair as she looks from his kiss-pinkened lips to his bright green eyes. “We’re married,” Hailey says—more like whispers, really, like it’s a secret just the two of them share—because, right now, it is. It’s theirs.
Jay’s smile is soft and his own adoring understanding flashes across his face. She knows that he’s feeling everything she’s feeling, too. Where it matters, they know each other like the back of their hands, and once again Hailey thanks whoever up there is listening to her for putting this man in her life. Just trying to think of what life would be like without him is nauseating—it’s unimaginable.
She and Jay—they were meant to find each other. Hailey truly does believe that.
Jay’s left hand comes to grasp hers, the gentle clinking of their rings together making her smile even more as his fingers intertwine with hers. “We are,” he murmurs in response, like it’s something he’s still trying to convince himself isn’t a dream, either.
A chuckle escapes her, and it’s kind of wet because she didn’t really have time to get emotional last night, so they’re kind of coming out now. “Can’t believe you love me enough to want the spend the rest of your life with me.”
Jay squeezes their fingers, his voice gentle. “I want more than that, Hails.”
Her gaze flickers up to meet his, the air catching in her throat at the intensity burning in his eyes. Her voice is unsurprisingly breathless as she asks, “So the whole death do us part thing—?”
“Traditional words,” Jay tells her, the corner of his lips curling into a ghost of a smile. “What I feel for you goes way past this life. It’s more than I can even begin to understand.” Hailey has to press her teeth together so her lower lip doesn’t tremble at Jay’s beautifully honest words. He presses his forehead to hers and it’s enough to let Hailey let out a shuddering breath. “But I’ll spend the rest of my life, and whatever is beyond it, showing it to you.”
His forehead is to hers, noses touching, breathing in each other’s air—being each other’s air. And as Jay’s words wrap around her heart and keep it warm and safe and protected, she gathers the words existing in her own heart to give to him. “And what I feel for you is something I didn’t think I was even capable of feeling, but I know I just had to wait to meet you to actually feel it. Now, to the rest of our lives, and whatever is beyond it—it’s what I know I can always count on.” She feels a tear escape, but doesn’t make a move to wipe away the small physical evidence of what she feels for him. “I love you, Jay.”
His lips brush against hers, and she’s sure she can feel him slightly trembling too in the safety of their bed as he whispers, “I love you. So much.”
Her exact own words, from what feels like a lifetime ago, when she first told him.
Jay kisses her again, soft and slow, a husband pouring more promises and love into his wife, and Hailey returns them wholeheartedly.
Traditional vows were what had been spoken during their intimate little ceremony at the courthouse—but their own vows, existing from the purest part of their souls that hummed with life for each other, were what were uttered verbally, and shown physically, on Hailey and Jay’s first morning as husband and wife. And for the rest of their lives—and whatever was beyond—those vows would be shown again, and again, and again, and again.
sometimes you just don’t know the answer (til someone’s on their knees and asks you)
god i wrote this as soon as 9x04 ended because goddamn i cannot handle my emotions right now i wanna hug Hailey and i wish Jay did more than punch Voight but it’s fine we’re fine we’ll cope we got this you guys
Read on AO3!!!
It’s silent in the house.
It’s the middle of the night, so silence is to be expected. Except the skylight in the bedroom allows for moonlight to wash over them, and Hailey feels as though it only illuminates the distance between them right now. Her, sitting on the bed and him, standing in the doorway, watching her. All she has to do is look at him, and she knows what’s happening. She knows that he knows.
He’s looking at her like the weight of this awful, soul-aching secret she’s been bearing all by herself is now resting on him, too. And Hailey didn’t want that. She had never wanted it. But the burden of the truth is on Jay now, too, and Hailey hates it. Keeping the truth about the warehouse, about Roy, from Jay had been eating her alive; she’d been in a constant struggle of wanting to tell him because he’s her partner, in every sense of the word, but also wanting to keep him in the dark because this wasn’t on him. It was her choice, her mistake, her sin to deal with. And Jay’s too good, isn’t he? His heart, his soul, is too good for her to taint it with the darkness that’s been clouding hers for too long.
But he knows. And the way he’s looking at her—it’s more crushing than the weight of the truth.
She doesn’t know where to go from here. She’s half-drunk from the whiskey, maybe, but the weight of his stare sobers her up. She doesn’t know what he’s thinking. Is he angry at her? He has to be, doesn’t he? She fucked up, horribly, and she had been lying to him for weeks. He had asked her, more than once, point blank if she was okay, if there was something going on with Voight, and she had told him not to his face. She’s a liar, a murderer. She doesn’t deserve someone like Jay. He knows that.
He’s still standing at the doorway, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans as she sits there, her heart thundering so loudly she wonders if he can hear it, feeling the sting of tears already gathering in her eyes, though she refuses to let them fall. Then his lips part, and Hailey braces herself for what’s to come, but Jay surprises her by closing his mouth and walking towards her. Her eyes track his movements, his green eyes locking on her blue, watching as he sits on the edge of the bed right next to her, exhales softly, and pulls her in for a hug.
Hailey doesn’t give herself a moment to be stunned. She can’t. Not when his strong arms are around her, pulling her close instead of pushing her away, and Hailey’s eyes squeeze shut as her own arms wrap around his broad shoulders, face pressing into him as the familiar scent of him envelopes her, too.
Her heart is still pounding, but Jay’s hug grounds her, her fingers digging into the material of his overshirt as she feels his hands press to her lower back. A sob, thick with preemptive relief, works its way up her throat but Hailey keeps it in as she holds him, knowing a tear or two are escaping from her shut eyes.
Jay’s voice is quiet, thick, as he says, “There’s nothing you have done, or could do, that would make me love you any less.”
His words sink into her skin, her bones, her heart, and Hailey breaks.
The sob escapes and she clings to him, shifting as close as she can, and Jay holds her to him. The wall she had built to protect this horrible secret crumbles and through the sobs Hailey feels like she can breathe again because in one short sentence, Jay alleviated some of the terror that had gripped her so tightly. She feels his hand on her back, the other going to the back of her head as he holds her shaking body close.
“I’m sorry,” Hailey manages to get out between her cries, voice as broken as she feels, thick with the heaviness of it all. “I’m so, s-so sorry. I-I didn’t mean to kill him. It w-was an accident. I swear, I d-didn’t—”
“Hailey,” Jay cuts in gently, steadily. He pulls away, just enough to see her face, and through bleary eyes Hailey sees the way his expression depicts devastation, a raw show of heartbreak that she knows she put there, and feels the guilt rush over her all over again. His hand slides from the back of her head to her wet cheek, wiping at her tears, careful of the cut as his eyes lock onto hers. They’re glassy, too, against the silver moonlight, and Hailey’s throat tightens as he gives a small shake of his head. “You didn’t kill him.”
She stares at him, eyebrows pulling together through her tears, her hands resting against his chest as she croaks out, “Y-Yes, I did. Jay, I shot him, I—”
“You were put in an impossible situation,” Jay says, gaze hardening as he utters the next sentence. “Voight put you in that situation. He killed Roy. It doesn’t matter that you pulled the trigger. He’s the one who dragged you into doing it. This is not on you.”
Hailey can’t believe what she’s hearing, but she knows for a fact that Jay genuinely believes in what he’s telling her. The sharpness that edges in his firm words comes from his sincere belief because, to him, that’s the truth. And Hailey should be relieved that he’s looking at her with this expression of desperation, yearning for her to believe his words the way he believes them, but the truth is she’s in shock. She doesn’t doubt Jay’s love for her; she’s just in disbelief, not for the first time, that there’s someone who loves her this much, who cares for her this much, after a lifetime of not really having anyone like that.
Jay knows the truth, and just by one look at him, it’s obvious he doesn’t blame her for what happened.
And she wants to believe that. She does, she thinks. But she’s been carrying this for too long that complete belief in it doesn’t come so easily. Her gaze drops to her hands, which had began fisting his shirt in her anxiety, her voice cracking through the sobs as she says, “I’m not—I’m not like him.” She’s still apologizing, still on the defense, because she needs it. Needs him. “I didn’t want to—”
“I know you didn’t,” Jay says, his voice softening, head ducking ever so slightly so she can meet his gaze. His thumb brushes along her cheekbone, his touch warm and homely. He lets out a quiet breath. “Hailey, you had a panic attack over this. You haven’t been eating or sleeping—I know you didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I know you’re not like Voight. That’s not something you ever have to convince me of.” The muscle in his jaw feathers for a moment. “I just wish you’d told me.”
There it is.
Her throat is tight, her thoughts and emotions overwhelming her in ways she couldn’t make sense of. Trauma has a chokehold on her, refusing to let up its grip, to the point where it makes her choke out, “I didn’t want you to leave me.” I didn’t want you to hate me.
She hears the sharp inhale he sucks in after those words leave her, and Hailey squeezes her eyes shut because, God, she didn’t want him to think that she didn’t have faith in him, in his love for her, in them. But fear had an ugly way of twisting the truth and making it seem implausible. And Voight’s voice had always been in the back of her head, telling her to keep quiet, to keep Jay in the dark because this was too dark for him to know. And Jay is good. Jay is so good. Her ugly truths and crushing burdens aren’t for him.
But they’re partners. She should have told him. He’s the person she trusts the most in the world.
It’s just all so fucked. She is so fucked.
“What did I tell you?” Jay’s voice has gentled again, his light grip on her cheek forcing her head up, making them lock eyes again. There’s a pain in his eyes, hating that she thinks that there’s any truth in what she just said. He gave a single shake of his head. “I’m not going anywhere, Hailey. I need you to believe that.”
“I do,” Hailey responds immediately, taking in a shaking breath, hands still gripping his shirt, needing to hold onto him. She sniffles, throat tight, but her words are quick. “I should’ve told you. But I was terrified—not just because of what you’d think, but because of what I did, and because Voight kept telling me to keep quiet. He never said a word about what he did to Roy’s body, kept me in the dark about half of it. I-I wasn’t handling it well, wasn’t thinking straight. I hated acting like I didn’t know the truth in front of Kim, and I couldn’t stand keeping it from you. Every time I thought of telling you, I felt like Voight was right there, and the right thing felt like the wrong thing and I just—” Her voice breaks again, shaking her head. “I’m sorry.”
She takes a breath and Jay’s silent, because he knows she’s not done as her eyebrows knit together and she sniffles again, hand raising to wipe at her cheeks as she meets his patient gaze. Her chest feels tight as she speaks again. “The night I proposed—Jay, I meant every word.” His lips part like he’s about to speak up, but she cuts him off, needing him to hear the sincerity, to believe her truth. “It wasn’t some response to what happened that night. Maybe, in a way, it was; almost losing Kim like that, seeing the way Adam was spiraling—I love you, so much, and I can’t imagine living without you. That’s not a life I wanna have. Everything else may be going to hell, but wanting to marry you is the only thing I’ve ever been sure of. My timing sucked, and I don’t—I don’t blame you for questioning it, but I promise, I meant it. I’m—I’m sorry I broke your trust.”
It’s the pure, honest truth. Being with Jay is the only thing that makes sense, the only good thing in her life that brings her a kind of joy she’s never got to experience before. Her example of marriage was her parents’, and it’s a fucking miracle that she wants a promise of forever with anyone after the abuse she grew up with. But Jay is the only person Hailey wants to take that leap with, because of how much love and respect and trust is there. And maybe that last one is a little damaged because of recent events, but she needs to believe that they’ll be able to get through it.
Jay lets go of her, and before she can feel panic over any distance he may be putting between them, he simply holds her hands in his, resting them between them. His hands are large and warm, comforting. So many emotions swim in those green eyes, eyes that she loves so much as he looks at her. “You didn’t break my trust, Hailey,” Jay says, his voice soft, because his voice was always soft with her. Not for the first time, Hailey wonders what she did to deserve him. “I just wish you trusted me enough to have come to me from the beginning.” Her heart clenches, throat drying. “I hate that you dealt with this on your own. Not eating, not sleeping—you were killing yourself under the weight of the truth. I’m your partner. I love you. I need you to understand that all of that means that I’m here for you, with you, no matter what. Please.”
That last word is so heavy, so desperate, emphasized by Jay squeezing her hands in his. He’s looking at her with a gentle devastation that robs Hailey of her breath, and she makes a promise to herself, right then and there, that she’ll never do anything to make Jay think she doesn’t trust him enough to let him in. She’ll need to work for it, after everything that’s happened, but that’s a non-issue. For Jay, she’ll do it.
She takes a breath, blinking back the fresh sting of tears that had gathered in her eyes, nodding slowly, gaze fixing on his. “I know that,” she says, voice a whisper but words steady and firm. “I’m with you, too. I swear.”
Jay’s throat works, a small shuddering breath escaping him before he pulls her in once more. She leans into him, eyes closing, head this time tucked under his chin as he holds her close, the steady thumping of his heart as grounding as his embrace. His hand stroked her hair, lips pressing a kiss to the top of her head as she finally lets out a heavy, relieving sigh, like the weight of this damning secret has lifted. There’s still so much shit to sort through, but Jay letting her lean on him is enough to calm her down for now.
“I’ve got you,” his quiet words break through the silence of their bedroom, words whispered into her still damp hair. “We’ll figure this out together. You’re not alone, Hailey.”
Her arms are around his waist and the way Jay holds her close, she’s practically on his lap. But the words he utters and the way he holds her, Hailey has never felt safer. Against the warm, solid form of Jay, Hailey feels alright for the first time in too long. Nothing has been solved, she knows; Roy is still dead, the Feds are still investigating, and the burden of her truth is now shared with Jay even if she didn’t want it to be. But she can breathe easier now.
And maybe that makes her selfish, to weigh Jay down with the aftermath of her actions, but his whispered words of reassurance are sincere and his embrace is solid, and she no longer feels like she’s being completely ripped apart from the inside out. She’s not naive enough to think she’s all the way okay, but with Jay’s help, she could start getting there. He can’t absolve her of sins she hadn’t meant to have, but one thing’s for sure: he won’t let her go down for them, either.
Inevitable (The One Where Everyone Finds Out) [Upstead]
Summary: There’s different moments where Trudy Platt and the rest of Intelligence finds out about Jay and Hailey’s relationship. And this is how it goes.
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Trudy Platt
She didn’t become a sergeant, get to where she is today, without being a skilled cop. And, frankly, it’s insulting that anyone even thinks that they can get anything past her. She greets them every morning when they walk through the doors and up the stairs of the precinct, her words accompanying a subtle smirk on the days the two of them walk in together. And those days are often—except lately, she notices the slight difference in the gait of their steps, in the closeness of their arms brushing one another as they walk into the 21st district.
She wonders if she imagines it, but scoffs the idea right out of her head because, come on, she’s Trudy Platt and she knows what she sees, when she sees it. She’s known Jay Halstead for years, and although she may have met Hailey Upton when the blonde was just a little girl, Trudy’s grown close to and has come to know her even more over the years she’s been at Intelligence. So she sees, she notices the subtle shifts in their smiles early in the morning, the lingering looks when Jay opens punches the code and opens the gate leading up the stairs to the Intelligence bullpen, holding it open as he smiles down at Hailey before she walks up, following her in immediately after.
Hell, she saw it before the two of them got their heads out of their asses and did something about what was going on in their hearts. She saw it when Jay was doing his best not to mope when his partner had been shipped off to New York, seemingly trying to get through the weeks until Hailey was back in Chicago—where she belonged. Trudy had half a mind to tease him relentlessly over it—especially after hearing from Randall how Jay would wind up at Molly’s after shift with the others, grumbling about the lack of Hailey and wishing the next few weeks would just fly back so he could get his partner back already.
Trudy’s pretty sure it was the alcohol that made his lips more loose than normal.
Funnily enough, she feels proud, in a maternal way, of Jay. It didn’t take long after Hailey’s return from her stint with the feds for the two of them to finally give into whatever had been brewing between them—arguably for years. Guess they both got a taste of what life was like without the other, after being side by side for years, and finally decided to do something about it.
They’re living in a bubble of privacy, Trudy knows, and she respects that. They’re professionals, and she knows both Hailey and Jay’s history with dating co-workers. But Trudy can’t help but think, when she glances up at them from her front desk and notices their easy banter and soft smiles and shoulders more relaxed than she’s ever seen either of them, that this thing between the two detectives was one that was going to last.
So, of course, she can’t help but let them know they have her support, in true Trudy Platt fashion: casual in the way she drops the bomb that she knows.
It’s a late Friday night when she buzzes herself up to Intelligence, ambling up the stairs. One corner of the bullpen is lit up, being Jay and Hailey’s desks, and the gentle echo of their easy going chatter and laughter is soft against the walls. They’re the only ones here, the others having left already, their computer screens glowing and papers and files piled on their desks.
“Burning the midnight oil?” Trudy asks by way of greeting.
Jay looks up from the paperwork he was hunched over while Hailey glances over her shoulder. With a lazy smile, Jay responds, “Par for the course for the only two detectives in the unit.”
Trudy comes to stand by their desks as Hailey’s lips upturn into a smirk, glancing at Jay before looking up at Trudy. “It’s only taking us this long ’cause I have to double check Jay’s grammar,” she innocently teases, causing Jay to roll his eyes at the playful jab.
“Riveting way to spend your Friday night,” Trudy muses. “I’m sure you two would prefer some fine dining as opposed to this.” She watches them blink in confusion, their gazes meeting only briefly, and she suppresses a smirk. “Eh, who am I kidding? You’re more of a beer and pizza kinda couple, aren’t ya?”
It’s when she drops the couple that they both seem to freeze up, ever so slightly but enough to put a pause on their pens working on the paperwork, the subtle widening of both of their eyes giving them away. Trudy has the urge to laugh. Two of the best detectives in the district—hell, in all of Chicago—and they can’t seem to keep their cool when she blatantly calls them out on their relationship. Maybe they needed to go through undercover training again.
Jay breaks the amusing silence first with a clearing of his throat as he shifts in his seat, grip on his pen tight as his gaze darts from Hailey to Trudy. “Uh, Sarge, what are you—”
Trudy waves him off with a roll of her gray eyes. “Oh, don’t even try to come up with some half assed excuse. You think I became a sergeant because of my youthful good looks?” She quirks an eyebrow at the two of them; Jay’s blinking up at her and Hailey’s chewing the corner of her lower lip, and Trudy thinks she’s trying not to laugh—whether it’s out of nerves or amusement, Trudy can’t be too sure. Maybe a bit of both. “The others may not have picked up on it, but it’s cute that you thought you could keep it from me.”
Jay lets out a breath, sinking back into his seat, looking at Hailey for help. The blonde folds her arms on top of the desk, looking up at Trudy. “We’re just—it’s still new, between us. Telling people isn’t really a priority, you know?”
And Trudy does know. She’s seen too many relationships start and end because of the complications that come with working together. Jay and Erin. Kim and Adam. Kim and Sean. Hailey and Adam. Lots could go wrong, but Trudy looks at Hailey and Jay, recalls all of their terribly hidden smiles and endearing looks, and she has a good feeling about them. She’s only ever had that feeling about one other couple, but Kim and Adam are a matter of their own.
So she smirks—or, well, at least she tries to, but she’s pretty sure it comes off as an encouraging smile. Which is fine, because both of them relax when she says, “Don’t worry—your secret’s safe with me.” They share a smile and Trudy tries not to shake her head at that secret language thing they’ve got going on with their eyes. She steps away from their joined desks. “Anyway, we’re debating downstairs on ordering either Chinese or Thai. What’re you two in the mood for?”
“Thai,” they both answer simultaneously. Then, Jay quickly adds, “Just not from the place on Pulaski. Hailey got food poisoning last time she had it.”
Trudy glances at Hailey, who blinks at Jay before a small smile tilts her lips, like she’s softened at the fact that he remembers, and if Trudy was anyone else, she may have aww’d at the small act of adoration between them.
Instead, she just nods and continues towards the stairs, throwing a, “Call down your orders. I’ll let you know when it’s here, lovebirds.”
She smirks because she’s pretty sure Hailey chokes on air as she returns a strained, “Thanks, Sarge.”
Kim Burgess
The diner smells like fresh coffee, bacon, and pancakes, all of which sit on plates on the table in front of her, with the addition of waffles. Utensils clink against plates and the bell at the kitchen window rings every so often with a new order up, a low clamor in the diner, but Kim finds peace in it. She’s sitting at the table with Makayla and Hailey, a little girls breakfast to start off their Sunday morning.
She feels content as she and Hailey talk about things that don’t have to do with work, especially for Makayla’s sake. So instead, they chat about the new show Kim started watching, and the new pairs of shoes Hailey bought for herself yesterday as an impulse buy because she never buys nice things for herself, and Hailey even asks Makayla how school’s going. It’s easy going and casual and pleasant, even when Hailey’s phone buzzes and when she glances at the screen, she lets out a low groan.
“Is everything okay?” Kim asks, eyebrows raising as she lowers her cup of coffee.
Hailey quickly glances at her, blue eyes bright as they sit by the window, a half smile quirking at her lips. “Yeah, everything’s good,” she answers with a chuckle, unlocking her phone. “Jay just sent me a game of Archery to play. Y’know, on iMessage.”
The knowledge of that amuses Kim far more than it probably should. “Oh, yeah? And, what, you have a thing against games?” she asks with a light laugh.
“No,” Hailey says with a roll of her eyes, giving a quick toss of her blonde hair behind her shoulder, since it was the rare occasion where she has her hair down. “He’s just freaky good at it. I’m pretty sure it has to do with him being a sniper,” she adds with a scrunch of her nose.
As if she can’t help herself, Hailey accepts the request, and Kim and Makayla watch, both amused, as Hailey’s eyebrows furrow in concentration as she tries to make her shots. She huffs a couple of moments later, lips twisting as she puts her phone down, shooting them an apologetic look, probably feeling guilty for using her phone while they were at breakfast.
But Kim didn’t care, instead, she indulges. “Last time I checked, you were pretty good with a long gun, too.”
“Against a professional sniper?” Hailey snorts, cutting a piece of her syrup drenched waffles. “Not a chance.” She shoves the piece into her mouth, chewing for a moment before swallowing and pinning Kim with a gaze. She points her fork at the brunette and little girl, eyes darting between them. “Don’t ever tell Jay I said that.”
Kim raises her hands in defense, sharing a secretive wink with Makayla, who giggles before biting into her pancakes. The conversation digresses to other topics, with Hailey grunting in frustration when Jay sends his turn back, both Makayla and Kim leaning over to see his play. Kim lets out a low impressed whistle when he hits the center of the target on all three turns, earning a withering stare from Hailey before she sends her turn back. She does not, in fact, get all three center targets, but pretty damn close. Not close enough for her, though.
Eventually, Jay wins, which makes Hailey turn her phone subtly away from Makayla because Kim just knows she’s sending back a bunch of expletives to the other detective, which makes Kim chuckle in amusement. Putting her phone down, Hailey finishes off the rest of her waffles before letting out another huff.
“I need to wash my hands. I have syrup all over them,” she comments, frowning at her fingers like she’s wondering how it got there.
Makayla giggles. “You’re a messier eater than me.”
Hailey smirks at her. “Yeah? I’m still taller than you, kiddo.”
This time, Kim smirks into the rim of her mug as she hums, “At least you’re taller than someone.”
Hailey shoots her a glare, though it lacks any real anger as she gets up and walks off in the direction of the bathroom. Kim and Makayla continue with their food, and as they do, Hailey’s phone, which she left on the table, buzzes with a new message. And Kim doesn’t mean to accidentally glance at the screen, doesn’t mean to read the message that lights up the screen, followed by another that comes through right at that moment, but when she reads that one, she damn near chokes on her sip of coffee.
Jay Halstead: Don’t be mad, Hails. We can play a round of Word Hunt so you can kick my ass.
Jay Halstead: If that’s not satisfying enough, come over after breakfast and I’ll make it up to you.
Kim didn’t need to be a detective to know what he meant by that.
Her eyes widen, gaping at the screen until it blackened, and she’s pretty sure she looks comical in the way she’s staring, trying to process what she just read. It’s not until Makayla asks, “Are you okay?” that Kim blinks herself out of her stupor.
She clears her throat, glancing at her kid as she flashes a smile. “Oh, yeah, I’m super okay.” She tries not to cringe at her words, but Makayla doesn’t blink twice, going back to her food.
But Kim, oh man, she’s reeling. Jay and Hailey. Hailey and Jay. They’re together. They’re so, so definitely together and Kim can’t believe it but, God, at the same time, she totally can. In the time it takes for Hailey to get back, Kim thinks of the last few weeks, moments she may have missed because she was either not looking for them or because Jay and Hailey were just that discreet. Which, you know, wouldn’t be surprising because they are detectives, after all. Hell, they came to Molly’s, but there were some nights where they were nowhere to be found, but Kim assumed they were too tired to hang out after work and headed home. It hadn’t clicked that they went home together.
A disbelieving smile tilts Kim’s lips up, leaning back in her chair as she gazes at the seat Hailey had occupied.
No wonder the two of them had seemed so light lately, walking with a pep in their step. She can’t believe she missed it.
When Hailey returns, Kim schools her features, not wanting to give her newfound knowledge away. She watches, discreetly, as Hailey checks her phone, catches the way her jaw feathers and lips purse for the briefest moment, like she’s trying to suppress her smile. Kim has a hard time fighting off her own.
Unable to help herself, Kim lightly says, “You wanna join us at the park?” Hailey glances up at her and Kim innocently adds, “Unless you, like, have other plans.”
Kim almost misses the way Hailey looks down at her phone, so quick it was barely noticeable, but now she knows what to look for, and it’s right there. “Uh, no, no other plans,” Hailey says, flashing a smile. “None I can’t push back, anyway.”
Kim’s fighting the damn smile. “You sure?” she asks, trying not to let on that she knows more than she should.
“Mhm,” Hailey nods. “All good.”
This is just too good. Kim’s not gonna push Hailey, because if she and Jay want to keep their relationship under wraps, that’s their business. But, damn, that doesn’t mean Kim can’t have some fun.
Hopefully Jay can wait a little longer until Hailey goes home to him.
Kevin Atwater
“Kev, you good? You good?!”
“Yeah, yeah—you?” Kevin asks, dark eyes sliding over to Jay as the two of them slowly, cautiously rise to their feet.
Kevin’s heart is pounding, an aftermath of the rain of bullets they just dodged, as Jay nods while looking around the scene. Pieces of glass are shattered around them, thanks to the cars they had found cover behind in the abandoned lot. Shady place for a meet, even shadier place for two undercover cops to get lured because they got made.
“Yeah,” Jay huffs, lips curling in annoyance as they look around the scene. He gave a shake of his head. “What a mess.”
“Hey—you two okay?” Kim’s voice sounds, and the two of them look up to see their team making their way over.
Kevin and Jay give their affirmatives, and Kevin watches as Hailey’s blue eyes run over Jay, like she needs to check for injuries rather than just taking his word. And, at first, Kevin thinks it’s just partners being partners, but his eyebrows quirks, ever so slightly, when he sees Jay just lightly touch her arm as he flashes her a smile. It seems to relax Hailey, and there’s just something about it that has Kevin eyeing them suspiciously.
But then Sarge walks up and they have to work the scene, so Kevin doesn’t think about it again.
Until later, when they’re back at the district, and he’s walking down the hall towards the locker room, stopping short when he hears the familiar voices drift down, as quiet as they’re trying to be. He doesn’t mean to eavesdrop, but he stops by the open doorway as Jay’s voice sounds from inside.
“Hails, I promise, I’m fine,” he’s saying, his tone light yet gentle.
“Can you blame me for being worried?” comes Hailey’s response, a sigh following her words. “You’re a bullet magnet. It’s stressful.”
Kevin hears Jay chuckle shortly, as if he’s trying not to add to Hailey’s worry but he can’t help himself from letting the sound loose. “Isn’t that part of the job description?”
“Cute.” Her voice is dry, making Kevin’s lips quirk up in amusement. “But if you get shot again, I’m gonna be very upset, and you’re gonna have to get reacquainted with your hand.”
Kevin does a double take at Hailey’s words, coated in sweetness he recognizes as cunning, blinking in bewilderment. He’s pretty sure he hears Jay choke on air and Kevin’s mind is reeling, wondering if he heard Hailey right—wondering if he understood her unmistakable statement properly.
When Jay’s voice lowers as he says, “I think that punishment’s a little too severe—” Kevin knows that, yup, he most definitely heard things right.
And that’s when he turns right back around and walks back the way he came from, shaking his head at himself as he tries to both come to terms with what he just heard and erase it from his head, too.
Jay and Hailey. He wants to say he’s surprised but, hell, he’s not. Not at all.
He spends the rest of the day, and the next, focusing on the case, and it’s not until it’s wrapped up, the bad guys behind bars, that he finally unwinds at Molly’s with everyone else. When he spots Jay and Hailey sitting at the bar, chatting with Severide and Stella, Kevin suddenly remembers the conversation he’d overheard in the locker room, and he raises an eyebrow as he takes his drink and walks over to a table that’s occupied by Kim.
Only, her gaze is directed to where Kevin’s had been, and his eyes narrow as he sits down and says without preamble, “What’re you looking at?” Of course, he knows what she’s looking at. Who she’s looking at.
Her brown eyes dart to him, blinking before she quickly says, “Nothing,” while taking a long sip of her beer.
Oh, she’s lying. Kevin leans forward on the table, excitement sparking in his gaze because now he’s wondering if Kim knows something that’s also the something Kevin knows. He watches as her gaze, as if without her permission, slides over towards the detectives of their unit, and Kevin purposefully follows her gaze, watching as Stella and Hailey laugh at something a grinning Severide said while Jay rolls his eyes, though a smirk dances on his lips. And even from where he sits, Kevin sees the way Jay’s eyes linger on Hailey, smirking as he watches her laugh, definitely not at all how just a work partner looks at another partner.
Kevin’s eyebrows raise and he looks back at Kim, but she’s already looking at him, her eyes widening in realization the second their gazes connect. Kim’s jaw drops as she leans forward, gaping at him before hissing, “Do you know something?”
“Do you know something?” he shoots back just as quietly, an air of conspiration brewing between the two of them. Kim narrows her eyes and Kevin suppresses a sigh. He’d been partners with her for too long to know this isn’t a battle he’s going to win. So Kevin discreetly ticks his head over to the bar and asks, “Are Halstead and Upton—”
“Dating?” Kim finishes, that spark of excitement returning in her eyes as a grin grows on her face. She’s practically bouncing in her seat, which is all kinds of amusing. “Oh, my God, yes, I’m pretty sure they are.” She leans forward again, practically half on top of the table. “I accidentally saw a text on Hailey’s phone from Jay a couple weeks ago that tipped me off.”
“Weeks ago?” Kevin rebuts, eyebrows shooting up once more. He glances back at the bar, where Jay is now talking to Matt, leaning his back against the bar as he remains sitting on the stool, arm resting on the countertop, very close to where Hailey’s was. Could mean nothing—but Kevin was looking at them with new eyes. Gaze swinging back to Kim, he asks, “How long do you think they’ve been together?”
“Probably a month or something, I’m guessing,” she says. “Maybe a little longer? They’re good at keeping it under wraps.”
“They’re detectives. Are you surprised?” Kevin quips, smiling into his glass as he takes another sip of his beer. He scoffs then, putting the glass down as Molly’s stays lively around them.
Kim rolls her eyes, tapping her fingers on the table. “Okay, they’re not that good.” She motions a finger between them. “We found out.”
Kevin’s smile widens. “Maybe we should be detectives.”
Raising her glass, Kim clinked her bottle with Kevin’s glass. “From your lips to God’s ears.”
Adam Ruzek
There are three instances that occur that have Adam wondering about the relationship of the two detectives in his unit before his assumption is confirmed.
The first is when they’re at a charity event that Deputy Miller forces all of Intelligence to attend. They’re in their blues, standing tall and proud as Chicago officers, and Adam can’t wait to untuck his shirt, unclip the tie, and sit down for a beer rather than the fancy liquor pouring in the glasses. Adam’s never been one to booze and schmooze, and while he knows the event is for a good cause, he also knows it’s mostly politics and rich people showing off their, well, richness.
He’s walking back into the banquet hall after taking a bathroom break, and he spots Jay and Hailey standing at the bar, talking amongst themselves. When Adam had last caught sight of them, they were pretending to look fascinated by the speeches going on, hiding their boredom well. Now, though, their grins are genuine as they talk. About what, Adam has no clue. But he sees Jay has his phone out, directing the screen towards Hailey as he shows her something, and Adam sees the way Jay’s gaze is fixated on Hailey. He sees the smile that widens his normally stoic buddy as Hailey laughs, shaking her head, and Adam is pretty damn sure Jay’s eyes fucking sparkle.
When the hell was the last time Jay Halstead’s eyes did that?
It’s a small moment, mundane to the unassuming eye, but Adam clocks it in and tucks it away for another time anyway.
The second instance is much more severe, driven by concern and adrenaline. Amidst racing after two persons of interest in a silver Honda, another car had—purposefully—crashed into Jay’s truck, and it’s later when the team realizes that their suspects seem to have a third member in their small home invasion crew, who had crashed into the truck as a distraction. But that’s for them to deal with later.
When Adam arrives on scene in his jeep with Kim in the passenger, he hops out, concerned gaze flickering around. He winces at the sight of the truck, the backseat door on the passenger side done in from the collision. He then looks for his team members, gravel and glass crunching under his boots, and he’s pretty sure he can hear the sound of Jay’s voice over the chatter of the other officers on scene.
“Guys, I’m fine—I’m fine. Let me go check on Hailey.” And then Jay appears, walking around the ambulance he had been treated in, and before Adam can call out his name, he watches as Jay’s quick walk breaks into a jog towards the other ambulance. “Hailey!” he calls, and Adam hears the barely constrained worry and panic in his voice.
Adam slows his walk as Jay approaches the back of the ambulance, Hailey sitting on the edge as she gets treated by a paramedic. From where he stands, Adam sees the cuts on her face, the blood a little cleaned up, blonde hair escaping from her ponytail as she lets herself get treated. But her gaze flickers to Jay as he runs over, and Adam watches as the detective hovers over the other as the paramedic turns away.
“You okay?” Jay asks, green eyes flickering all over her face, and Adam catches the way his jaw clenches at the sight of her cuts. Jay is sporting a few of his own, but Adam knows that Jay knows how lucky Hailey got. The collision had been on her side, and if she comes out of this with only some cuts and bruises, it’s nothing short of a miracle.
“I’m fine,” Hailey nods, head tipped back to look up at him. “What about you?”
Jay scoffs. “Don’t worry about me. You’re the one who took the hit.” And Adam’s eyebrows flicker up as Jay’s hand reaches out, his fingers just barely brushing against her cheek, and Hailey’s leaning into his touch as he eyes the bruises and cuts. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Hailey chuckles softly. “I’m sure,” she nods, giving him a gentle smile that Adam sees relaxes Jay’s shoulders just a little bit. “Sorry about the truck, though,” she adds with a wince.
Jay shakes his head, releasing a sharp breath like he can’t believe she thinks he cares more about his truck than her. His hand goes from her cheek to clasp the back of her neck, and Adam doesn’t miss the way Jay’s thumb brushes against her pulse point, like he needs to feel her heartbeat even though she’s perfectly alive and well in front of him. “I don’t give a shit about the truck,” Jay says, and if Adam wasn’t as close as he now was, he probably would have missed it. “So long as you’re okay.”
And, okay, maybe that’s just partners being partners. Adam would have believed that—if it wasn’t for how the two of them jump apart when he makes himself known, looking like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t have been. Interesting, indeed.
Finally, the third and last instance is Makayla’s birthday. The weather outside was great, so they invited their unit, all of Makayla’s friends from school, and both Kim and Adam’s sisters and their kids to the park, as per the birthday girl’s request. Picnic tables were set up with loads of food, balloons were dancing in the wind, and the air was filled with the sounds of children screaming and laughing as they played. There’s juice for the kids, beer for the adults, and Adam stands by with a smile on his face as he watches Makayla play with the widest grin.
Everyone has already arrived, Adam notes—or, well, almost everyone. He squints against the sun as he takes a sip of his beer, catching sight of Jay and Hailey crossing the street where his truck is parked, a colorful gift bag in Hailey’s hand as they approach where the party is. The two of them are chatting, laughing animatedly, and Adam thinks nothing of it except that he’s glad they made it. Not that he thought they’d miss it. They love Makayla too much for that.
“Hey, sorry we’re late,” Hailey says breathlessly with a smile as she greets Kim with a hug, while Adam clasps his hand with Jay’s and pulls him in for one, too. “Jay misplaced Makayla’s gift in his ridiculously messy apartment.”
Joint gift, huh?
Adam raises his eyebrows at Jay, amused, while Jay rolls his green eyes and Kim snickers. “Is that why you’re holding onto it for dear life?” she asks teasingly, nodding down to the gift bag in Hailey’s hand.
Before Hailey can answer, Jay pipes in, “She trusts me with her life but not with a gift,” and shoots Hailey an exasperated look for good measure.
That only makes the rest of them laugh as Hailey smiles up at him sweetly, her dimples popping and blue eyes sparkling against the sun. “Gotta draw the line somewhere.”
Jay huffs out a breath, meeting Adam’s gaze and raising his eyebrows pointedly. “I need a beer.”
Adam instantly gestures him over. “Oh, yeah, come on, man,” he says, leading him towards the coolers where the drinks were. He bends down, pulling out a beer for his friend, and as Jay pops it open, Adam inquires, “Do you and Hailey ever arrive anywhere without each other?”
He poses the question innocently, joking in good nature, and Jay’s gaze meets his as he sips his beer before answering with a shrug, “Her place was on the way here from mine.” He shoots Adam a shit-eating grin. “Carpooling’s good for the environment, Ruze.”
They gather around with others, chatting away as they enjoy their drinks and the food that Kim and Adam ordered. At one point, as Adam stands with Jay and Kevin talking, he watches as Makayla runs up to their group, and Adam watches as she runs up to the ladies and exclaims, “Hi, Aunt Hailey!”
Adam smiles as Makayla hugs Hailey, who laughs and returns the hug. “Hi, sweetheart. Happy birthday!” Hailey grins.
The two of them dissolve into a conversation, and when Adam looks away, he sees the way Jay’s gaze is lingering on Hailey and Makayla, and Adam is kind of enthralled by the look in his friend’s eyes. There’s a softness in the detective’s green eyes, a small curling of his lips as he watches Hailey talk with Makayla, the sound of her laughter dancing in the air towards them. Adam’s eyebrows raise and he’s almost certain that there’s nothing that could pull Jay’s gaze away from the blonde of the group.
Adam recognizes the longing on Jay’s face, and he doesn’t know how, but he can tell it’s not a longing for just Hailey, but a desire to have this with her. A kid. A family of his own. Adam realizes, then, that he recognizes the look because he can feel it on his own face whenever he looks at Kim and Makayla, and he has it, in their own special Kim-and-Adam way. And as he looks at Jay, he sees that the longing isn’t a sad kind of thing—it’s hopeful. Like Jay knows that this future is one that is actually in his grasp, the small smile dancing on his mouth.
And Adam knows.
He knows, the confirmation striking him like lightning, that Jay and Hailey are together. And in that moment, the last few months flash across his mind, moments between the two detective partners that Adam glossed over because he thought it was just them being, well, partners—but now he knows those moments seemed softer, more intimate, because they’re partners. The realization of it is, somehow, both surprising but also not. Because Jay and Hailey—they make sense. They balance each other out in the field, and of course that goes home with them, too.
Frankly, if he really thinks about it, he’s not that shocked as he thought he was at first. It really was only a matter of time for Jay and Hailey, wasn’t it? Adam smiles into the lip of his beer bottle as Jay forces his gaze away from Hailey, prompting his eyes to meet Adam’s, and the officer watches as Jay wipes whatever look he wore and replaces it with a stoic look, returning to his conversation with Kevin.
But Adam saw. Adam knows. And even though Jay doesn’t have to say anything, Adam is happy for him, for them.
A couple nights later, the whole unit is at Molly’s, winding down after a case successfully closed. Music plays and chatter is consistent, as always, and Adam’s muscles are eased after a couple of beers. He sits on a high stool at a table with Kim and Hailey, talking about anything but work, ready to leave it behind as they venture home after this.
“I thought this week would never end,” Hailey says with a sigh, running her fingers through her hair. The blonde locks are out of their usual ponytail, falling in waves over her shoulders. “I’m ready to knock out, if I’m being honest.”
She finishes the rest of her drink and Kim raises an eyebrow. “What, already?” she asks, shoulders dropping as she pouts. “Aw, come on, Hail, stay for one more.”
That’s when Kevin and Jay approach them, and Kevin raises an eyebrow as he looks at the blonde of the group. “You’re heading out?”
Hailey smiles up at them, her own shoulders slumping where she sits across Kim and Adam. “Yeah, I’m so tired, you guys,” she tells them apologetically, chuckling lightly.
Jay, who had been watching her, downs the rest of his beer and sets the bottle on the table. “Come on,” he says, nodding his head over to the door. “I’ll drive you.”
Adam’s eyebrows flick up as Hailey offers him a smile, getting off the stool. Her smile widens slightly as she looks at the rest of them and says, “I’ll see you guys in the morning. Have a good night.”
They all offer their goodbyes, and Adam watches as Hailey and Jay walk out, close together to the point their arms press together as they go. Kevin slides into Hailey’s abandoned seat, and once the door closes behind the two detectives, Adam turns to his two remaining friends and declares, “So, those two are definitely together, right?”
Kevin and Kim’s gazes meet for a split second before they nod. Kim’s eyebrows pull together, eyes closing as she puckers her lips and nods knowingly. “Oh, yeah, definitely,” she answers.
Kevin grins at Adam. “Took you this long to figure it out, Ruze? Kim and I found out a while ago.”
Adam’s bewildered at that, looking between the two of them in offense that they discovered this big thing and didn’t tell him about it before he shakes his head. “I wanted to make sure, thanks very much.” He blows out a breath then as the two of them grin, and Adam shakes his head as he raises his eyebrows. “Unbelievable.”
“Is it, though?” Kim hums, quirking an eyebrow. “More like inevitable.”
Kevin nods in agreement. “Definitely inevitable.”
“We can’t say anything to them, though,” Kim says, sitting up as she looks at the two men pointedly. “They’re keeping it low-key for a reason. Let them have that.”
They both nod at that, totally on board. Adam understands. There’s been plenty of in-office dating, himself obviously included, so he gets why Jay and Hailey are keeping their relationship to themselves. And as much as he’d like to tease his two friends about it, he respects them even more to keep quiet, to let them enjoy what they have without other people’s eyes on them, their whispers breaking the barrier that keeps Jay and Hailey secure in their relationship.
Adam smiles into the rim of his beer, taking another sip. If anyone deserves to enjoy the intimacy of a private relationship, it’s Jay and Hailey. They were years in the making, weren’t they?
Inevitable. He mouths the word, smile widening slightly. Yeah—it fits them just right.
