#uselessidiotsquad

[likemesomesalads]

Icon gold commission for @crowsfled/ @uselessidiotsquad pf their ffxiv bnuuy boy.

Commissions are still open!

[kerra-and-company]

Spotify ask: 3, 5, and 9! (Or I'd you've done those any songs you just wanna gush about).

@uselessidiotsquad

I shall gladly give you those ones, tyty! :D

3 - The Cycle Ends by Lena Raine

5 - Somebody to You by The Vamps

9 - Odds Are by Barenaked Ladies

(So, in order, we have a song from the GW2 soundtrack that is Super Good, a song I've fully written out an AMV plan for even if I don't have the art skill to draw it, and a song I heavily considered writing out an AMV plan for xD)

[mystery-salad]

Chat time! If you got to take any of your characters out on a date (romantic or platonic) who would you take out? Where would you go? What would you absolutely avoid? What do you think they'd enjoy hanging and doing?

Bonus! If you could have any of the animal mobs as a new pet for ranger which one would you want? I want dolyaks!

(@uselessidiotsquad )

Thank youuuuuuu so much 🙏🙏🙏

I would platonically take a lot of my characters out on dates, BUT!

Ennreck, I would romantically date Ennreck in a heartbeat. If a both cowgirl using he/him pronouns who has pretty much his whole life figured out were to seem even remotely interested in me??? I'd chance a date in a heartbeat. Probably would help him around the ranch for a day then treat him to dinner, we could go star gazing after since the sky is so clear in his isolated corner of the desert 🥺 There's not much to avoid with him, aside from any talk of the Legions which he left. Easy enough to steer clear of that one. He's really such a cool guy he'd like doing anything so long as there's good conversation to accompany it, and I'm pretty damn good at making simple conversation in person. I think we would hit it off!

As for ranger pets, Anet has fucking kept the Elonian drake from me for TOO LONG!!!!!

Like, drakes are already an option LET ME HAVE MY GATOR

[moonlit-grove]

GW2 Asks! 11 19 23 and 32 if you please :3

(@uselessidiotsquad)

11. What's a piece of gear your always transmute because you love the look of it?

For heavy armor, I almost always use the vigil pants. They pair well with almost everything else and they just look fantastic. Plus they're not extremely skimpy on women. They are a little but it's ignorable

For medium armor, I'd have to say... Probably the sneakthief set or the magitech boots. Especially the former on male and latter on female.

Light is honestly the hardest to say, there are too many pieces I really love. The entire set of female carapace, the male trickster top... I love so many of them.

19. Is there a class you like the idea of but the gameplay doesn't match up for you?

I can play every class, but guardian is the hardest for me. I have several, but I just... struggle with them. Especially using anything but greatsword.

23. What's your favorite legendary?

I don't have any legendaries, but I love the look of Incinerator. If Engie gets dagger I have to work on it. I also love The Predator, I may have to work on it for Wikki... And of course Shooshadoo is adorable.

32. What's the best glider skin in your opinion?

Don't make me choose, I love too many! I can't pick just one!

[cathedralofeternalradiance]

Touches ask game questions!

Handholding 33 and Touch 5

Some of these are so cute it's hard to pick only a couple.

-uselessidiotsquad-

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Woohoo cute asks coming up <3 Thank you for submission!

-------------- NYRA AND TRAHEARNE, HAND-HOLDING

Somewhere in Straights of Devastation, 1325 AE

“Now, let me see that hand,” Nyra orders when they finally make a stop. The trek is long and hard - when Trahearne mentions a fort, do not expect something within a few days’ ride, or somewhere remotely close to an asuran gate - and her legs are screaming under the heavy armour she’s been wearing. Hair sticks to her head, sweat sticks to her skin, but if there’s anything Forgal has taught her, it’s endurance. And besides, that armour protected her when a group of risen attacked, so she can’t really complain.

Trahearne, though, isn’t as lucky. They’ve only had the time for a quick bandaging before having to go on further and Nyra was too drained for a proper healing spell.

He looks up from his place by the fire, startled. “If it isn’t an inconvenience to you,” he says carefully, making place for her. With a groan, she sits and reaches for his hand. Sylvari skin feels a world away from human skin, she muses, and there is a faint line of sap from the cut on his hand. She imagines it makes a sound when she runs her nails over it.

“Nonsense,” she replies, enjoying the weight of it in her hands. Her heart beats a little faster and his eyes, dead set on her, aren’t helping at all. “I don’t want you to lose a hand. It’s a pretty hand.”

He raises a brow. “Pretty?”

“Yes,” she says, inwardly cringing at the further shove in the ground that is the grave of her dignity, “all... bark and nature and... yes.” Farewell dignity, you shall be missed. “Now,” her fingers glow blue and they wrap around that pretty sylvari palm and she’s too well trained to lose track of what she’s doing but..

It is a pretty fucking sylvari hand. That belongs to Trahearne. With long, pretty fingers.

Anyway, work.

“I wouldn’t want to impose on your expertise,” he says suddenly and there’s a note of reserved teasing in it, “but may I have my hand back? I’m afraid it’s not replaceable and I am in need of it.”

“Right! Right! Of course, here’s your hand back, kind sir, thank you for borrowing it,” Nyra quickly relinquishes it and drags her own hands away to her lap.

“You may have it when you want it, though,” he adds and all blood seems to rush to her cheeks. “You just have to ask.”

“I’ll.. have that in mind,” she stammers, staggering to her feet, “but I have to go sleep now. It’s a long trek tomorrow. You should do so too.”

And I should also fall in a ditch and stay there. Just in case I happen to have close contact with my crush. Just in case.

----- EL AND LIV, TOUCH (slightly suggestive, so under the cut, just in case)

Grove, 1332 AE

“Your heart’s beating really fast,” El notices. There’s a steady rhythm in his ear of dum-dum and he can imagine blood flowing beneath all that fur, the power of it. And it’s beating fast now, in the early morning hours, loud enough to drown the ever-present sound of water in his house.

“Hearts do that,” Liv snorts and pulls El close. “Not a particularly observant remark. That tired?”

“I don’t have a heart,” El sighs. “Or plant vitals, as a certain charr likes to say. It’s really interesting how irregular the pattern is becoming, like after exertion-”

“Sex is exertion,” Liv says in that obnoxiously endearing way he’s adopted since they’ve gotten together and that El would’ve smacked him for before, but now doesn’t exactly have the heart to, “did you not see the force of-”

“I know how good your pelvic work is, I promise you,” El smacks him over the snout playfully, shaking under a barely contained laugh, “do not interrupt my very professional analysis of the current state of your heart that I, as its owner, have access to. Now, it’s probably rushing that blood it’s pumping somewhere else - not that I mind that direction-”

“Owner of my heart, huh?” Liv licks a stripe up his cheek. “You’re impossible.”

“Where’s the lie? And you wouldn’t have me any other way, you big cat!”

Liv smiles a very charr-like smile. “That I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t indeed.”

[commander-coppercogg]

Neptune for any of your kiddos you'd like to talk about :)

(@uselessidiotsquad)

I'm gonna answer this one for Bertie cause Syrryl already had a turn with one of these asks:

𝟎𝟗.   𝐍𝐄𝐏𝐓𝐔𝐍𝐄   !

( 𝗌𝗒𝗆𝖻𝗈𝗅𝗂𝗓𝖾𝗌   : dreams,   intuition,   mysticism,   imagination,   delusions. )

what   are   your   muses   goals   ?   what’s   their   dreams   ?   are   they   intuitive   ?   do   they   believe   in   spirituality   and   acknowledge   that   in   every   day   life   ?   where   in   life   are   they   most   creative   ?   or   are   they   perhaps,   like   the   planet   saturn,   bound   to   reality   and   don’t   believe   or   acknowledge   such   things   ?   those   ruled   by   neptune   tend   to   run   away   with   their   goals   and   ideas   and   often   enough   run   too   fast   that   they   trip,   so   failure   is   familar   to   those   who   are   ruled   by   neptune.   does   your   muse   get   too   caught   up   in   unrealisitc   ideas   ?   if   so,   how   do   they   handle   the   disappointment   ?   those   ruled   by   neptune   are   also   full   of   child-like   innocence,   which   can   make   them   come   off   as   naive.   does   your   muse   care   what   others   think   of   them   ?

Bertie's main goal currently is to not fail. He's the Commander, he can't fail. He's come way too far, lost way too many people to fall short now. Every victory he's had has felt like it was by the skin of his teeth and he's very concerned about what's going to happen next.

Bertie's dream mainly centers around the people he sees as his family: Dragon's Watch. As much as he hates the ongoing world crises that they have to keep solving, he also understand that he wouldn't have the family he does otherwise. He dreams of lower stakes, easier missions, the whole world not hanging in the balance and on his family's shoulders. He doesn't dream of peace. He doesn't know what he'd do with himself if there were peace.

He's not especially intuitive. There's some things that just makes sense to Bertie: golemancy, his hammer, Syrryl (most of the time). And there are things that he just never gets the hang of: magic, politics and Syrryl (some of the time). It kind of depends. Inside his wheelhouse, Bertie is very intuitive. Outside his area of expertise, he's very much not.

Bertie is not a spiritual person. He's a student of the Dynamics College school of thought. He believes in things he can feel and touch and hit with his hammer. He understands the concept of the Eternal Alchemy spirituality, which he visualizes as the different interlocking parts of a golem, it's just not something he thinks about or really practices.

Bertie is most creative in life with his inventing. He's constantly making adjustments and upgrades to his prosthetic, tiny things that no one but an expert would recognize but it's resulted in one of the most advance prosthetics in Tyria.

Bertie is pretty down to earth. Sometimes though, especially when under a lot of pressure, his mind will run wild with all of the crazy, desperate, unrealistic plans that he'll desperately hope will keep everyone alive and safe. But as he is a good Commander, Bertie can recognize that those ideas aren't any help and will dismiss them. He doesn't feel disappointed about this because he never really saw the plans as a possibility anyway.

Bertie absolutely can come off as naive, especially when it comes to human politics. To some degree, it irks him. He is an intelligent adult and would like to be spoken to as such thank you very much. But another part of him, probably the one that has picked up on a bit of Syrryl's Order of Whispers tactics, knows that being underestimated can be used to his advantage. And to that point, Bertie doesn't really care what people think of him. He's a trans, gay, autistic, disabled man. Even in the world of Tyria, with much less prejudice than Earth, that fact alone will make some people dismiss and think less of Bertie. And in return, Bertie doesn't think about them at all. He's got better things to do with his time.

[cycleof-dusk]

For the GW asks!

5, 12, 13, 34

(@uselessidiotsquad )

oh boy!!!

5. Least fave profession?

there's still a lot i haven't tried yet, truthfully! if i had to pick from the ones i've played, i may have to go with base thief. i feel like wet tissue paper.

but if i had to make a guess overall? i'd say probably guardian? not for any particular reason other than just. ehh. i just don't think i vibe with it

12. Your main character’s profession?

elementalist!!!! specifically tempest

but i do also have versions of sionedda that are a thief (deadeye) and a revenant (no spec yet)!

13. Your main character’s weapon? (Type)

as a tempest, I definitely gravitate towards dagger/warhorn!! but i do have a staff set

i would like to try out other weapons - maybe scepter!

34. Have you ever cried because of the story?

oh boy. so many times. i cried the first time at claw island (whispers) and then man. heart of thorns was a tearfest.

i also definitely cried during season 4.

and then i went back and played GW1 with @riverwoofs and after getting through nightfall and eye of the north i was like

"hey. let's play through path of fire and season 4 again" specifically after realizing "OH WAIT LONAI IS WHO WE LEAVE ON THE ROCK"

and i was pretty emotional replaying quite a few bits there. fucking. "you have her eyes" "whose?" "melonni's" FUCK ME UP, BABY

also tahlkora. just. man. man.

i also did get a bit emotional during some of the arguments between aurene and jormag in Icebrood Saga - Jormag's manipulative ass hits real close to home

[kerra-and-company]

May I have the OC + numbers headcanon asks for Rel for 7, 11, and 21! (@uselessidiotsquad)

You absolutely can! :D Rel hours!!

7. Their tickle spots

Sides for sure--anywhere else is Classified (TM) by him (but feet would definitely work as well if you're not worried about being kicked xD)!

11. Bad or petty habits

Drinking too much coffee and not sleeping enough (in part as a consequence of the other thing) are the two biggest ones for Rel, along with not taking enough breaks when he's in the middle of something. (And I can't think of any habits of his that'd be petty, but now I so want to hear what exactly "petty habits" would be for other characters xD)

21. Turning points in their life

His Mother's sacrifice/death (the reason he left Maguuma, otherwise he would have stayed), choosing to leave Nisha at the Priory and make his own way for a while (which let him figure out who he was on his own and gave both himself and his sibling room to grow), and meeting Kerra (since that's what got him pulled into the entirety of the main storyline, leading to Almost Literally Everything Else) are the three big ones. Most everything outside of that feels more like a step on a path rather than a turning point, to me--but that doesn't mean there aren't a ton of other important things that happen to him!