Ao3 | 6.3k | Rated: Teens | Established tarlos, time travel (sort of), angst with a happy ending.
Summary:
What would you do if you’d woken up in the past as if the last 2 years had never happened?
That’s what happened to TK. He went from being happy and in love with Carlos, hitting his stride as a paramedic, having found his place in life with the 126, only to wake in the hospital back in New York, But things are not as they seem
For @jamieetartt Sorry, it's taken so long, love you to the moon and back and hope that you enjoy this belated birthday present 💖💖
Your eyes give life a new meaning
It's like I found the north light
I never knew what I needed
Until I felt your hand holding mine, yeah
There were a lot of things that TK wasn’t sure of in his life but one thing he knew for sure was how in love he is with one Carlos Reyes. He once thought he knew what love was, but it was nothing in comparison to how much he loved his boyfriend.
When they had met, he was lost, adrift, unable to see any life or colour in his life. Picking fights just to be able to feel something without relapsing into a world that he had tried to leave behind. It was a tenuous lifestyle one filled with a lot of action and yet still too much time for his mind to wander and affect his personal life.
And then he had met Carlos, and life seemed to fall into place. Of course, it took him longer than it should have to understand what was right there in front of him. A man who was willing to love him for all his faults and misgivings in a way that he never truly understood up until that point.
Life seemed to be perfect, or at least he thought it was, with him finally looking to the future, eyes wide open and in technicolour, right up until the point that he woke up in the hospital. One that he recognised.
The only problem being is that it was in New York.
And he hadn’t been in New York for 2 years, not since he’d moved to Austin.
TK gathered his bearings, confusion washing over him as a knotted ball of wrongness settled deeply in his gut. It had been a long time since he’d been in this hospital, but it was recognisable enough for him not to mistake it for anything but the one he had been to in New York. The seats by the bedside were wrong, as too was the entryway to the room that he was in.
And with that recognition of where he was, so to came the panic that came with it of how he got there. TK could hear his heart rate monitor pick up speed as he tried to comprehend his circumstances, belatedly noticing that he had drip attached to one arm and a nasal cannula wrapped around his face which didn’t help matters when he jostled both.
His increased heart rate alerted the nurses nearby and before long a flurry of voices were telling him to calm down, to breathe. It took some effort and eventually he was able to take long deep breaths, settling back against the overly soft pillows behind him.
He asked one of the nurses about his dad, as the man checked the I.V. ensuring that it hadn’t been jostled by the activity and was told that his dad had been contacted that he was awake. He didn’t get much more information than that.
The light from outside changed from morning sunlight to an afternoon glow as he waited for his dad to arrive, to come and explain how he had ended up there. The last thing that he could remember was walking with Carlos.
Carlos!
TK felt his heartbeat spike once again, pulsating in his ears as he recalled his boyfriend. How could he have forgotten? He and Carlos had been walking together, fingers intertwined as they strolled along one of the bridges that crossed the Colorado River. But that was the last memory he had before waking in this hospital bed.
Where was Carlos? Why was he here?
The two questions continued to swirl around and around in his head. Multiple scenarios were created to answer them, but none made enough sense to be true. So they remained unanswered. Unanswered until his dad arrived some hours later, still smelling strongly of smoke and dressed in his undershirt and pants as if he’d just come off a call.
“I came as soon as I could,” Owen said hurriedly as he strode to his bedside and engulfed him in a smoke-scented hug. TK let him. Let him take his time in the embrace before parting.
He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could get the words out to ask the question that has been on his tongue, he swallowed them as he took in his dad’s uniform. “Why are you wearing an NYFD shirt?”
“What do you mean ‘why am I wearing my NYFD shirt’? In case you have forgotten that’s who we work for.”
“What I mean is why aren’t you wearing your Austin Fire shirt?”
“My Austin Fire...?” Owen drew out the question trying to make sense of what TK meant, “TK what is going on?”
“What’s going on is that we’ve been working in Austin for the past 2 years on, and now, for some reason, we’re back in New York and you’re working here again.”
“TK I don’t know what you’re going on about, we’ve never left New York, you know that.” Owen looked at him as if he’d grown a third arm, “I was offered a job in Austin, but I didn’t accept it, but how could you have possibly known that?”
It was too much. It was all too much. What his dad was saying didn’t make any sense. They had moved to New York soon after he’d overdosed after breaking it off with Alex. Had he gone back in time? How was that even possible? There was only one way to be sure.
“Dad. Why exactly am I here?” TK asked as the thought formed.
Owen sighed and sat on the end of his bed as if he were about to break the worst kind of news, “You overdosed TK. We found you in your apartment. You were on the floor and not breathing. We got you back with Narcan and you woke up for a short while before falling unconscious. You’ve been asleep for the past 4 days.”
TK jolted at his dad’s confession, feeling as though he had been struck by lightning. “Nononono this can’t be happening again,” he murmured to himself.
How could this be? TK felt like the universe was playing one huge practical joke on him. Has everything he remembered of Austin been a dream? Did he dream up two years of a life he never had in 4 days of unconsciousness? That couldn’t be possible. Oh god. Or if he had gone back in time then that meant that he hasn’t met Carlos yet. How the hell did this happen?
He looked up at his dad, hands shaking, “No. We moved to Austin. You got the job to put together a new team for the 126, I went with you. Everything was good, great even. I had a boyfriend. I had Carlos; I was happy.” Tears sprung to his eyes at the thought of it not being real and peered beseechingly at his dad, “I can’t have just imagined that.”
“TK, you’re just confused from being asleep for so long. Let me go and get a doctor and get them to check you out.” His dad moved in the direction of the door.
“No. Give me a phone. I want to call Carlos.”
Owen turned back carefully, eyes full of concern as he said gently, “TK, there is no Carlos. If I’m not mistaken you’re in a relationship with Alex, last I heard you were going to propose to him.”
TK stopped listening to him as his mind spiraled over his dad’s first sentence.
There is no Carlos.
No Carlos.
Carlos.
He couldn’t have made him up.
**
Carlos sighed as he shuffled to the self-serve coffee machine, absent-mindedly fiddling with the edges of the thin bandage wrapped around his hand and wrist.
He yawned as he poured in the powdered coffee from its sachet before adding the boiling water. It wasn’t much, but he wasn’t planning on leaving anytime soon, it was too late for any place to be making any, so it meant stooping to the lows that was getting his caffeine fix from the poor excuse that granulated coffee was.
It was enough to get him by. God knows he couldn’t imagine leaving just yet.
“So TK, how have you been since I saw you yesterday?”
TK spun the hospital wristband around his wrist. The questions had been the same for the last few days since it had been decided that he was to stay admitted at the hospital because of the concerns of his confusion.
At first, he had tried to convince his dad and the doctors that his dream was real and they were lying to him for some reason. But they had just looked at him like he was crazy and had him hooked up with daily visits with a hospital shrink. Looking back, he might have been able to convince his dad using the knowledge of his cancer diagnosis but even then his dad would probably still think he had lost the plot.
In the meantime when he wasn’t being therapised, he started plotting, feeling this intense need to get to Austin no matter what. Feeling as though if he saw Carlos everything would be alright. He wasn’t sure why he felt that way, well he did, he’d been in love with him for a solid year before he’d woken up in this nightmare. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he just needed to see his boyfriend, hold his hand, and make sure that he was alright because he had this feeling in the pit of his stomach that something happened, he just couldn’t remember what.
So he started playing along with the therapist.
“I’m doing better. I realise now that what I was remembering was a dream. That it never happened. Even now I’m starting to forget it.” Liar. You still remember everything. “I feel much clearer now.”
“You do seem to be more grounded since I first started seeing you. If I can just ask you a few more questions, I’ll look into seeing if we can get you discharged today.”
“Fire away.”
TK sat patiently answering the questions brought forth. Yes, he is in New York. No, he had never been to Austin. No, he can’t remember the names of the firefighters he dreamt of. Yes, he proposed to Alex, but Alex told him that he was cheating on him with a spin class instructor named Mitchell which led to his overdose. No, he didn’t know anyone by the name of Carlos.
His responses must have seemed sincere enough to appease the doc, and he wondered if he should consider acting as a career because somehow he got the approval to be discharged that afternoon.
Owen picked him up. It was a quiet affair. TK could tell that his dad was worried, why wouldn’t he be when he had practically gone off the deep end right in front of him.
All he wanted to do was broach the subject of Austin, of his dad taking that job offer, but it was now a sensitive subject and he felt like his dad would be even more concerned if he brought it up again knowing that was the place that he had been so convinced about not 3 days ago.
No. He knew what he was going to do.
He bided his time. Listened to his dad as he lectured him on the fact that he would be staying with him for the time being. Agreed to go to therapy sessions and start going to AA meetings. They collected some of his things and by the time they got to his dad’s apartment, it was dinner time.
They ordered Thai food and ate in mostly companionable silence. Eventually, they talked about the overdose and his breakup with Alex, a conversation that TK felt so far removed from because it happened so long ago for him, but in this world, it was still new to his dad.
He was exhausted by the time they parted for the night, but his night was far from over. He knew he was never going to rest properly until he knew for sure. Couldn’t stand the thought of not being with Carlos for the rest of his life unless it was definitive. So with a flight and hotel booked, and an overnight bag packed, he left in the early hours of the morning, leaving a note for his dad on the fridge.
As he traveled, he couldn’t help but feel ridiculous about how intensely he felt about this. About the thought of not having Carlos in his life. He felt like one of those teenagers in a corny rom-com. Regardless, he couldn’t shake the feeling that nothing was right, that his world was off-kilter, and it would somehow be solved if he saw Carlos, looked him in the eyes, and held his hand. Or if he found out once and for all that he did imagine him all along.
TK arrived at his hotel room by mid-afternoon. His phone had been blowing up steadily by his dad, and his mum surprisingly, in both calls and texts which had been accumulating over his flight. He sent them both a text saying the same thing, he was alright, and he just had something he needed to do before he came back home. If he came back home.
He wouldn’t be surprised if one or both of them showed up by the end of the day though, near positive that they would be able to figure out where he had gone.
He changed his clothes and set off, intent on re-exploring the city that he had apparently lived in his head for 2 years, to see if it was how ‘dreamed’ it was. He first passed by the station. It was how it was when he and his dad first moved there, still unchanged. The wilting flowers surrounding photos of the lost firefighters still sat outside, untouched just like last time.
Of course, that hasn’t changed yet.
He and his dad hadn’t moved there and begun the process of updating the station and recruiting new firefighters yet. He wondered if they still will, or if his dad had truly said no because of him and things here will never change for the better.
TK moved along, stomach grumbling. It was around lunchtime by now and he wandered the streets aimlessly, soaking in the sunshine beaming down against his skin causing small beads of sweat to spring upon his forehead and the palms of his hands.
TK stopped then. Frozen to the spot as he felt a crushing sense of doom wash over him, a phantom feeling of a hand in his. TK stumbled and pressed his hand against the building beside him to steady himself as he felt as though the ground was crumbling beneath him. He looked around to see if anyone else had noticed the ground shake, but everyone appeared to be going about their business as if nothing happened. Not so much as even a shout was thrown to the wind.
He was getting some strange looks, however, from passer-by’s and one middle-aged woman even stopped to check to see if he was alright. He nodded his head and lied, saying he just felt lightheaded for a second but was fine. She gave him a warm smile and patted his shoulder as she moved off. He righted himself and did the same, continuing on in the opposite direction.
TK let his feet carry him forward as he poured his focus into his hand. There was no denying what he had felt moments ago. He had definitely felt a hand in his, which was impossible because there had been no one there. Their fingers had been entwined, a warm palm had been pressed against his, the slight sensation of dampness between them against the sun’s rays. It had felt so familiar. He knew that was Carlos’s hand. How many times had they walked hand in hand together in the time that they had been together? Too many to count.
Everything that was going on with him didn’t make sense. If someone were to ask him, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to put it into words.
Eventually, TK stopped and became aware of his surroundings. It was yet another familiar spot. Just across the road was the bubble tea shop the day everything electrical went nuts. And just off from where he was standing was where that bus had flipped.
He crossed the road towards the tea shop and went inside. There were multiple stickers on of the glass windows detailing foods available in cutesy graphics just how he remembered. There was no denying that he had been here before. He wouldn’t have been able to imagine the very specific details of this street without having been there.
He hung around that shop for a couple of hours, eating his lunch outside in the sunshine with a cool milk bubble tea to wash it down. By that point the sun was on the downturn of the afternoon and, feeling as though he had used up enough time, TK started his trek to the one place he knew Carlos would be on a Tuesday after work. The Trap.
He had considered calling for an uber but decided against it, knowing that he would be sitting there for a good couple o hours before the people that he knew deep in his heart would start showing up.
So he took the long way on foot, enjoying the fresh air, and arrived an hour and a half later, just as the early trickles of the night crowd started stepping in for the night.
TK bided his time, ordering himself some mineral water and lime, and perched himself in the corner of the room and waited, feeling slightly like a stalker. Eventually, Judd and Grace were the first to appear, setting themselves up at one of their usual tables.
Even from the distance between them, TK could see the way Judd was holding himself. Still suffering from the unresolved grief that he had yet to address. It was so obvious to him now, especially knowing what Judd was like after he worked through his pain.
It just made him miss his future even more.
Shortly after Grace and Judd, Tim and Nancy were next shoulders bumping together playfully as they navigated their way to the bar looking as close as TK remember them being. And with that thought came a wash of sadness at the realisation that in 2-years-time, Tim wouldn’t be around anymore. His longing for that future dimmed considerably.
TK let the din of the crowd envelop him and brush away the dark thought. He tapped a toe to the live music being played, realising he’d gained quite the appreciation of it than what he remembered.
He was so focused on it that he almost missed Michelle’s entrance, and two steps behind her was the reason why he had come to Austin. Carlos.
Just seeing him again sent an electric shock through him causing him to shiver. Seeing him again meant that without a doubt there was no way that he imagined everyone in his supposed ‘dream’ while unconscious. Dreams are filled with people that you see in real life which meant that he had known or at the very least seen each and every one of them before waking up in the hospital which was extremely unlikely.
So, that left him with one other option.
He had time traveled.
Only problem was that he had no idea how that could have happened.
**
Carlos scratched around the scabs starting to form on his hand, the bandage removed as soon as he noticed that the bleeding had stopped, and the scratches had started to crust.
He was home now having been told in no uncertain terms that he needed to go home, have a shower, eat a proper meal and sleep in an actual bed rather than the fitful episodes he’d been getting in the hard plastic chair.
He had protested of course, knowing that he had all the time in the world, having taken as much leave from work as he could to stay where he was but even he had to admit, he had missed his bed and shower.
**
TK took a large gulp of what was left of his mineral water and maneuvered himself over to the dance floor, leaving the glass behind. He had purposefully worn the same shirt as he had the first time he and Carlos had met, hoping to catch his eye a second time. Except this time, he was going to make the first move considering that they had never met before now in Carlos’s world.
He bobbed his head to the beat of the music and wandered along the fringes of the dance floor before eventually catching the eye of the man he had been looking for. He waited until Michelle stepped away before sidling up to Carlos.
“Hey,” he said casually when he was feeling anything but casual as a sense of rightness settled over that had been missing since he had woken up. The heavy feeling of foreboding was still present even though he was finally putting things right.
“Hey,” Carlos answered cautiously, eyes searching his as if trying to figure out the sudden greeting.
“Wanna dance?” he asked, indicating towards the throng of dancers.
Carlos smiled softly at the invitation and nodded, “Yeah.”
He followed him onto the dance floor, and they danced just like the first time, except this time he actually knew how to line dance. The energy between them was as electric as it always was and TK’s body thrummed with it, buzzing under his skin. He almost forgot that his world had been flipped on its head in this moment, all that he knew was Carlos.
“You’re not from around here,” Carlos stated loudly over the music.
“I guess not,” he half-shouted in response leaning in closer for Carlos to hear.
“What does that mean?”
“Long story.”
Carlos leaned in closer, enough that his breath tickled the hairs on the side of his neck, “Why don’t we go somewhere quieter, and you can tell me.”
TK nodded eagerly and let Carlos take his wrist but stumbled at the touch, feeling that wave of dread wash over him again. He tried to shove it aside and smiled reassuringly at Carlos when he looked back in concern. He reinforced that reassurance by stepping ahead of him as he tangled their fingers together.
And that’s when the crushing feeling of foreboding and dread fell on him like a pile of rocks, Carlos seemed to be saying something, but he couldn’t hear him over a deafening noise he couldn’t place. He looked back at Carlos only to find a different Carlos staring back at him, alarm and fear clear as day on his face, as his step faltered, a shout on his lips as he fell backward and felt the world swallow him up in darkness.
**
Carlos woke with a start, breathing heavily as if he had just run a marathon. Blood thundered in his ears as a clammy sheen coated his body. He slowed his breaths as he took in his surroundings.
He was back at the hospital. Waking in one of the uncomfortable chairs that sat beside the hospital beds. He regretted not moving to the small sofa that was pushed up under the window as his back and neck protested his sleeping position. It wasn’t the first time that he’d woken up like that.
He lean forward dropping his elbows to his knees and let his face fall into his hands rubbing aggressively at it in an attempt to wipe away the memory of his dream. Except it wasn’t really a dream. Ever since the incident, he had been plagued with reliving the memory over and over. Sometimes he would be able to change the outcome but more often than not it actually turned out worse.
Regardless, it was something that he couldn’t stop thinking about it no matter how hard he tried.
It was impossible to forget the way the semi-trailer’s horn sounded in his ears just seconds before the deafening crack and shudder of the path beneath their feet. The way the concrete seemed to crumble beneath their feet. TK had been half a pace ahead of him, hand still in his.
It had been a hot day and their hands had both been a little sweaty but neither of them had minded at the time. It felt like it had happened in slow motion, the path beneath TK’s feet went out from under him, taking him with it while Carlos was still on solid ground. He had managed to get his other hand on TK’s wrist enough that they could change their grip but taking on his sudden weight in his hand combined with the sweat made it difficult to hold on.
He managed to keep TK’s hand in his long enough to see the desperate look in TK’s eyes as their grips slowly slipped, TK’s nails digging into his palm and leaving deep scratches as he fell, disappearing amongst the rubble below.
It took him far longer than he would have liked to find a safe route to get down below, and by the time he did the dust had settled enough for him to be able to find TK half-buried beneath the rubble. Shoulder dislocated, a heavily bleeding head wound was what he saw, and he could only have guessed what else wasn’t visible.
As it turned out surprisingly little. He did have a dislocated shoulder and a multitude of cuts and bruises from the debris as well as some broken ribs but aside from that, his body had miraculously gotten away with minimal injury. His brain, however, was the biggest worry.
They had to put him in a medically-induced coma when he finally got to the hospital… something to do with a traumatic brain injury and his brain swelling, Carlos wasn’t well read up on it, but he was told it was meant so the brain could rest and help it reduce swelling which is what it had been doing since the fall. They had managed to get the swelling to reduce quickly, and they had reversed the coma 2 days ago. TK's brain function looked normal and as far as they could tell, all of his reflexes were intact which was a very positive sign. All they were waiting for now was for him to wake up.
Carlos traced the crusting scratches with his fingers. Apparently, it could take some time to happen. The brain can be a fickle thing is what the neurosurgeon had told him.
All he knew was that he needed TK to wake up. For his own selfish reasons. Now that he has had him in his life, Carlos couldn’t imagine his life without him. TK challenged, made him enjoy life in a way that he never had before. Accepted being loved uninhibited and unabashedly and gave that love in return.
He knew in no uncertain terms that he was going to need to talk to someone about it. But not yet, not until he knew what the outcome was. Not until he knew that TK was going to be okay.
He didn’t want his last memory of TK to be of him falling, being engulfed by the plume of concrete dust, and looking so broken and unconscious to the point that Carlos had thought the worst when he found him after the dust settled. He wished, God, he had wished that he could go back in time and just be able to hold onto TK’s hand, been able to pull him to safety.
Carlos dropped one hand to the bed and reached out to TK’s, picking in up to brush his thumb over his knuckles. Even now, he could see the remnants of blood under TK’s nails that he knew was his and it made his heart clench at the thought of what TK must have felt in the moment.
Carlos let out a long-drawn-out sigh and stood up, not yet letting go of TK’s hand as he stooped down to press a kiss to his forehead and murmured, “I’ll be back in a minute, I just need to stretch my legs.”
He started to step away and release TK’s hand when he felt a finger twitch against his palm. Carlos froze. “TK? Can you hear me?”
He watched intently and saw the barest tick of an eyebrow as he felt TK once again trying to move his fingers. He quickly sat down and shuffled to the edge of his seat, not once letting go of his hand as he searched for the nurse call button. “You’re doing such a good job! Can you try to wiggle your fingers again?”
Carlos felt two fingers slightly curl in his hand and his heart soared in response. A nurse stepped in then and she must have picked up on his excitement because before he even had to utter a word she was quick to nod and say, “I’ll page the doctor.”
After what felt like forever, the neurosurgeon arrived and went over his usual checks before including checking TK’s seemingly conscious responses. With a look of satisfaction, he turned to Carlos, “It looks like he’s working his way back to consciousness. It may take him some time before he is able to wake up fully. So far, he seems to be responding remarkably well which gives me hope that he has avoided any serious deficits, but we won’t know for sure until he is fully awake.”
The doctor bid him well and said she’d be back periodically to check on TK’s progress and left at that leaving Carlos to let out a pent-up sigh of relief. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone to call Owen, not surprisingly getting his voicemail as he had sent the man home not a few hours ago to get some rest. He left a message update explaining what the doctor had told him.
Carlos barely left TK’s bedside in the hours to follow, knowing that there was no way that he was going to voluntarily leave now that he knew that TK could wake at any time.
Knowing that TK was able to react to his voice, he began a non-stop monologue detailing anything and everything even going so far as to recount the beginning of their relationship. Surprisingly regularly in those hours, he would get micro responses from TK; a minute squeeze of the hand or a mild furrowing of the brow, which became more and more pronounced until they stopped, which caused him to panic enough that he asked for Dr. Nevin to be paged.
Dr. Nevin returned and gave TK’s vitals a once over before she turned to him with a reassuring smile. “You can relax Carlos. Judging from his charts, I’d say he’s fallen asleep for the night.” She gave him a pat on the shoulder as she passed him on the way to the door, pausing in the doorway giving him a pointed look, “Maybe you should do the same.”
He smiled at her tiredly in acknowledgment as she left before turning his attention back to his boyfriend. This wasn’t the first time that she had gently suggested that he take care of himself and at the reminder, he yawned, sliding down in his chair, and stretched out his legs, crossed his arms as he fell asleep to the quiet beat of TK’s heart rate monitor.
It was the next day when TK had his first true awakening. Owen had just returned to the room bringing with him barista-made coffee which Carlos quickly inhaled half of before slowing down to appreciate the taste. He has a lazy hand outstretched in TK’s loose, open palm and was talking quietly with Owen when he felt TK grip his hand. He paused sharply mid-sentence eyes zeroing in on the hand before flicking up to TK’s face. His eyes were squinting back at him, lips slightly parting before closing again as his eyebrows knit together in confusion.
This was to be expected and what Dr. Nevin had prepared them for. Both he and Owen did their best to ease TK back into the waking world with the help of Dr. Nevin and soon enough TK tired himself out and fell back asleep in exhaustion. And that’s how it went for the rest of the day with TK waking up periodically more cognizant than the time before.
Much to Dr. Nevin’s surprise, TK was recovering rapidly considering his initial testing and she was confident with his current condition that he would be suited for outpatient rehab for the residual functional and mental deficits still present. She had said that she was confident that he would recover fully over time and was happy to be able to discharge him so soon provided that there would be someone around to keep an eye on him if any negative symptoms developed.
Carlos breathed a sigh of relief when they finally were able to take TK home and was thankful that he and TK had opted to get a place that was one story after the fire, so there were no stairs that they would have to navigate. Soon enough they were both showered and collapsed in bed, lying on their sides facing each other. TK top shoulder still in a sling for the time being.
“Hey,” TK said softly, gazing at him under heavy-lidded eyes.
“Hey.” He answered, reaching his hand to claim TK’s bottom one in his own, “How are you doing?”
“Tired. Fuzzy. Uncoordinated.” TK drawled, punctuating it with a fumble as he threaded his fingers between Carlos’s.
TK bit his lip, scrunching his face, and squeezed his eyes shut, “Wanted to ask… What happened?... I remember someth...” he trailed off, but Carlos could tell he wasn’t done, knowing that would take some time for TK to string together long sentences.
“I remember falling?” TK opened his eyes peering back at him inquiringly.
He should have expected this. even now it was still raw, and he had been avoiding the subject, not wanting to relive it, hoping that TK wouldn’t ask. But of course, he did, and Carlos had no choice but to tell him, breaking it down for TK to easily digest the information.
“It was sunny, and we went for a walk across the Pfluger Pedestrian Bridge. And had just made it to the loop at the end when a semi lost control. Crashed into legs of the bridge,” he said slowly, pausing to make sure that TK was still following along and waited for him to nod him on, “You had just stepped ahead of me when the bridge broke. We were holding hands, but I lost grip of yours before I could pull you up.”
TK released his hand and brought it up to pat his cheek haphazardly before leaving it resting on his jawline, “I’m sorry…” he sighed, eyes drooping as he struggled to stay awake from processing the conversation.
Carlos put his hand over TK’s, “No reason to be sorry. These things just happen.”
TK started to say something else to the contrary, but he faded out mid-sentence, leaving Carlos to watch him fall asleep right then and there. He had thought that would be it for that particular conversation, but weeks later, TK brought it up again. This time, though, he was much more like himself again, able to have complex conversations with only brief lapses of concentration from time to time.
They were having lunch together outside on their patio, a small stack of sandwiches between them to pick at as they quietly soaked in the sunshine with a glass of lemonade in hand and lo-fi beats floating in the background from a neighbour's speakers.
TK had a far-off expression which prompted Carlos to ask, “What’s on your mind babe?”
“Remember when I asked you what happened that day and you said that I fell off the bridge?”
“Yeah. I’m surprised you remember much of that; you were so tired that day. Why?”
“I’ve been slowly remembering pieces of that day and then just now had this weird sense of déjà vu.” He trailed off at that, lost in thought before coming back to the conversation, changing the subject slightly, “Did I ever tell you that I dreamed when I was unconscious?”
“Ah, no. You didn’t” Carlos leaned over to settle his elbow on the table, face cupped in his palm, intrigued, “Tell me about it.”
TK went on to recall how he had dreamed of his past after he had his overdose that triggered them to move to Texas but because he had been self-aware he changed the course of what had originally happened. It was fascinating to Carlos that TK was able to dream and remember that dream even from that state of unconsciousness. It was crazy to think of how layered it was and still, Carlos got one main take away from TK’s subconscious.
“Aww even unconscious, you couldn’t live without me.”
TK shrugged and smiled ruefully, “I’m starting to think more and more that soulmates exist, and you must be mine if even my damaged brain couldn’t deal with not having you in my life. Sorry babe you’re stuck with me forever.”
“Well just so you know, I stayed by your bedside almost 24/7 because I couldn’t live without you either, so I guess I’m okay with being stuck together forever.” Carlos reached for TK’s hand and brought his knuckles to his lips. He watched as TK blushed, feeling smug that he could cause such a reaction so easily,
TK couldn’t keep the grin from his face, “Guess we're just a couple of hopeless romantics huh.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
I can't imagine my life without you
I can't imagine one night without you
If something happened, don't know what I'd do
I can't imagine
I can't imagine my life without you
“Easy, love,” soothed Asami, stroking Korra’s forehead. Their legs and hair were tangled together from before they’d gone to sleep, and the night was now full.
Asami fumbled for her lamp and lit it, cringing from the sudden light. “You’re okay, Korra, you’re at home. I’ve got you.”
“ ‘Sami,” Korra mumbled, stark relief burning in her gaze, then she dropped her head back down into the crook of wife’s neck, tugging her closer, nuzzling suspiciously like Naga.
“ ‘orra,” she mimicked, smiling softly, and then threw her hand out, extinguishing the lamp. They had time to get more sleep, and the dreams only came at night, now.
