#uuuhhh yeah

[the-pale-blue-boy]

it’s raining and i feel bad bad bad so im going to go read bloodymary fanfic and CRY

[d00dler0tz]

I genuinely love Cookie run series, but it's just the ovenbreak collab that it's been bothering me. I don't like how pay to win it is. I wish there was a much easier way to get the candies to get ppg and level them up quicker. That's my only complaint about it. I don't want to pay money for a character(s) leveling up. I wish that the Devsisters wouldn't do that in a future collab.

[kats-kradle]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: Gen

Fandom: Star Trek: The Next Generation

Relationships: Jean-Luc Picard & William Riker, Geordi La Forge & William Riker, Data & William Riker, Beverly Crusher & William Riker, William Riker/Deanna Troi

Characters: William Riker, Jean-Luc Picard, Beverly Crusher, Geordi La Forge, Data (Star Trek), Wesley Crusher, Deanna Troi

Additional Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Survivor Guilt, implied/minor eating disorder, Nightmares, Exhaustion, look everyone is in this except Worf and I feel rlly bad about that, he just didn’t rlly fit into the story, I’ve been working on this on and off for about 9 months I’m actually rlly proud of it, If you’re one of those Wesley haters this isn’t for you, also why are you hating on a CHILD, that moment when you accidentally write an 8k fic

Language: English

Summary:

The hallways were quiet. Everything was too quiet; yet somehow, at the same time too loud. Will glanced down at his hands and failed to repress a shudder as he caught sight of the dried blood under his fingernails. Beverly had firmly suggested he change his uniform before reporting to Picard, giving him time to scrub his hands clean of the blood, giving him time to collect himself, giving him time to think—too much time, he thought wryly.

~~~~~

Will becomes intimately acquainted with the trials that come with survivors guilt. His friends are there to help him pick up the pieces.

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Photos I took

[amrita-gsk]

If I may ask out of curiosity, what does your username stand for?

Hi there!

Well, I first came across the word "amrita" thanks to Makino Yui's song of the same name. I remember crying the first time I listened to that song and wondered what "amrita" meant and found that it means "immortality". I also read that in some indian religions it's the name used for the immortality nectar or the drink of the devas (basically the same thing, since it also granted them immortality). So back then, along with the context of the song I felt that it was a very precious word... I might have to explain a little more how my thinking worked, but in Makino's song the chorus says:

When the silver colored rain begins to fall,

Think of it as if it were me and dry your tears,

The shooting stars that cascade over your skin,

Like rain falling over you,

That's Amrita

This is from an old translation and I've seen some others that differ here and there, but the words here just really struck close to home for me. I've... lost both my parents, but my dad died when I was still very young. Back then, aside from being utterly broken from losing him I remember I felt like a burden, like I was weak because my older siblings (I'm the youngest) seemed to be coping better than me and had taken over the responsibilities of our home whereas I was just a mess and needed my mom to pick my useless self just to eat. And I hated myself for that, because I felt like I was somehow failing him, like all his love and care was wasted in me, who didn't know how to stand by herself anymore. Then a doubt took place inside my mind: what if I forgot about him altogether? My reaction itself already showed that the strength he gave and taught me was for nothing, so what was there to stop me from forgetting everything else? His face, his voice, his laugh...

But my mom, being the absolute wise woman she was approached me one day and told me that I had nothing to fear. She told me that my tears, many as they were, were actually proof that he was with me as much as if he were still alive. "You're not weak, if anything your tears show just how strong you are because your heart it's so full of love for him that it's overflowing. You'll stop crying someday and then there will be days when you miss him and cry again, and when that time comes cry as much as you need. His body might not be with us anymore but these tears right here aren't just yours, this is also his love flowing through you. So as long as you keep him inside your heart, he'll forever live within you."

After that, my brain, being the weird thing it is just thought that "this is what amrita means", that being immortal wasn't about drinking a legendary beverage or anything, just... if the people that loves you keeps you in their hearts, if they remember your love... Then you're immortal because your love cannot simply disappear. To me amrita is the nectar of everlasting love.

And then the song had a new meaning for me, that whenever I'm lonely and start crying, to consider those tears as the love of those I've lost washing over me, like a rain full of wishes.

And well... I might have tweaked things a little to suit me and I do apologise to any people who actually knows and professes the corresponding religions if I offended them, I'm truly sorry and I don't mean to be disrespectful at all... but that's how I interpreted it and in some way that helped me a lot and that's why I take this word with me everywhere.

On the more shallow side it has a beautiful sound when you pronounce it, so that's a plus.

As for the last three letters, G is for my real name which I absolutely love. I consider it to be one of the many gifts my parents gave me so it's hard fo me to leave it out even in a nickname. And the SK, well those letters are tied to people that have impacted my life, people I've loved, people I've had to say goodbye to. It's just important. I just really like to carry feelings around, don't I? Haha.

So... That's it, sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable with this, my nickname does have a lot to unpack, lol. I mean I think usernames should usually be lighthearted or fun things, but yeah, overthinker over here! And oversharer too it seems, ugh.

Anyway, thanks for asking!!

[nose-bleeder]

If it’s true there’s a connection between heterosexuality and good citizenship, that would certainly account for my behavior.

[jilliancares]

you guys should read my twitter au!!! it kind of blew up over night ??? i’m updating it throughout the day/at night so head on over and check it out maybe !!!

[merryfortune]

oh man, i am in a weird headspace right now lmfao