did so bad at video game (esports) that i had to lock in and actually be productive

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did so bad at video game (esports) that i had to lock in and actually be productive
I got through so many things today and all I have is UNEASE.
I'm in a permanent state of grief and the holidays and winter months are especially bad so idk why i was surprised a really strong wave of grief hit me seemingly out of nowhere. idk what i'm even grieving at this point but i blame my father anyway bc any bad feeling is usually tied to that man. hope he feels at least 1% of the pain i experience bc i'm so done
Reese’s Puffs, Reese’s Puffs
Peanut butter, chocolate flaaavourrr
My sister, busting into my 🎆Depression Cave🎆 to cook and deep clean my place with no warning:
Me, in the dark and lit only by my phone:
Full poof
ain’t nothing like being catatonically depressed for 3 weeks and being unable to carry out the most basic of tasks and then suddenly getting so much energy that you do a deep clean/organise of your whole room and reorganise all of the furniture in the middle of the night