kind of awkward ask but is it normal for the vulva/vagina to smell sort of vinegary? everyone talks about a ‘fishy’ smell as being concerning but idk I feel like nothing should be having an unpleasant smell down there at all
I am loving all these "awkward" questions that are just, like Tuesday for me. This is an easy one!
The vagina should have a smell. It is a human body part. Name another human body part that doesn't have a smell. Like, maybe your eyeball? Your skin, hair, ears, mouth, armpits - these all have a smell, and I doubt you'd call it "pleasant." It just is. We don't attach value and shame to the normal odours of other human body parts anywhere near to the degree we do with the vagina. (Yes, western culture does hate body odour generally, but the expectation isn't that you don't have it, just that you do something about it in public).
Let's just start with a quick -
ANATOMY LESSON - HEALTHY VAGINAL BIOME
Like most other parts of the human body, the vagina does not exist in a vacuum. It is a living biome with healthy bacteria and yeasts that live inside of it and are beneficial. Healthy vaginal secretions have a pH range of 3.8-5.0, which is mildly acidic. What else is acidic? Vinegar! That mild vinegar scent you mention is likely just the normal acidity of the secretions doing their thing, protecting that V.
A malodorous (literally - "bad odour") scent comes about when the normal flora is disrupted and you have an overgrowth of "bad" bacteria or yeast. This can come from douching, antibiotic use, intercourse, etc. It can also happen with infection with a sexually transmitted organism. It's not a mildly tangy or musky smell.
Now, Anon, you mention an "unpleasant" smell. That's a subjective term, and whether or not vaginal scent in general (or the scent of an individual's healthy vagina) is pleasant to any one person is a subjective matter. Is it possible you just don't much enjoy the scent of vagina? Sure! Vagina is not everyone's cup of tea, as many gay men will attest. It may be something you can come to enjoy, or not. You may discover that you find the scent of some vaginas pleasant and others less so. The important thing is to avoid attaching shame to the idea of vaginal scent, regardless of whether you find it pleasant.
Let's go back to the comparison to body odour. You may be thinking, "Well, OK. I get BO in my armpits, but I use soap and deodorant to stop it." There are a couple of important reasons why this analogy doesn't work.
Overall body odour is detectable by other people generally. Vaginal odour is not. Outside of very exceptional circumstances, your normal vaginal scent is just not going to be detectable by people around you. If someone is intimate with you to the point where they can detect your scent, you deserve respectful treatment and communication, and this person should understand that vaginal odour is normal.
There are no safe vaginal equivalents to deodorant or soap. As I've discussed before, the vagina does not need cleaning. In fact, introducing soap, douches, or fragrances can throw off your normal flora and cause problems and irritation.
LET'S NORMALIZE VAGINAS HAVING A SCENT! It's so normal! Everyone should be taught this, not just people who have vaginas. Anyone wanting to get anywhere NEAR a vagina should know and embrace this.