Dog Days (a Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Bonus Chapter: Birthday Surprise
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Dog Days - Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: It's Caleb's first birthday! Zayne and the girl plan out a belated birthday surprise for Caleb with Josephine's help, which leads them to another adventure at the amusement park. Caleb had always been by the girl's side when she was in trouble, but can he be a real hero for anybody else?
Trigger/Content Warning: overstimulated Zayne and Caleb at an amusement park, mention of neglect at the shelter, vague flashbacks to the lab, description of terminal illness, separation anxiety, degradation/low self esteem, jealousy, possessiveness
*****
Here is a (belated) birthday tribute to Caleb! Complete with a tiny Valko reference (traced back to Chapter 13). Inspired by Lucid Dream, Eternal Attachment, and Dream Revisited!
It's a long one—I wanted to knock out some deleted scenes and ideas that I didn't fit in my main fic all at once. In this chapter, we have a flashback at the shelter, a play date at home, the amusement park, and a time skip to one of Caleb's birthdays a few years later. I think most of my deleted scenes will be presented as "flashbacks" so we can still get present moments.
This one-shot goes into quite a few things. First of all, I've noticed Zayne and MC occasionally mention having gone to an amusement park in the past and it is vaguely somewhat implied it may have been part of their childhood in Eternal Attachment. Since amusement parks are also Caleb's thing, I figured I could combine this as a deleted scene.
I also decided to turn this chapter into an explanation of Caleb's disappearance at the aquarium in my main fic (the scene you are about to read happens right before Chapter 14 of my main fic!). It had already been somewhat implied that Caleb's disappearance was related to the explosion that caused Zayne to leave. So in my main fic, Caleb is already in cahoots with EVER and acting as a double agent. This dies down when Zayne leaves, because Zayne left in order to get the heat off Caleb's back and have EVER focus on his pursuits instead. They won't contact Caleb again for a while. But at this time, Caleb had been knowledgeable of EVER's plans with Zayne, and had tried selling him out to save himself and MC. He had disappeared at the aquarium to prevent the explosion as best he could. You'll see the interaction in detail in this chapter! Still not sure if I do a good job conveying this, but I have to let go of this chapter at some point.
The next chapters will start getting more suggestive and spicy. The next chapter specifically might take me a while to publish. I have caught up with all my back up chapters, and certain circumstances may make it harder for me to find optimal time. Also it's been a while since I wrote anything sensual, so I want to take my time with it.
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"They say if you fold a thousand paper cranes, you will be granted a wish."
Caleb had not been paying attention to the story. But that last part caught his interest.
The girl collapsed across his lap, reaching for the thin red book in the woman's hands. Whatever gray haze he was in at the moment cleared and made way for the colorful playroom of the shelter.
"Does that mean a sick person can become healthy? Even someone like me?" she asked, her eyes glistening. Her fingers brushed along the spine. The woman gasped, pulling the book closer to her chest, as though a shield. Caleb narrowed his eyes as the girl retracted to her spot on the floor, taking her warmth along with it as she glided from his lap.
He didn't understand the adults that "cared for them" at the shelter. They had marketed themselves as better than their life before, but why force themselves to fulfill that role, as if just simply reading mere tales to them every day was enough to make up for it, when they actively kept their distance? No one ever wanted to comfort or touch them.
The only thing we're good for is what's inside us.
The woman's eyes scurried to his, and she froze. Seeing what reflected in his gaze, she closed her eyes on a exhale. When she opened them again, she looked back down at the girl, and this time a soft smile curled her lips, so soft that one may think it actual genuine. But if that had been the case, then she would've been so from the start. "Yes. Especially you."
Caleb scoffed, crossing his arms. But the girl turned her glistening eyes to him.
"Caleb! Should we try it?"
He froze. The girl from the story never got her wish. It was proof that the legend was fake. Caleb didn't want her to turn into another sob story. Not when she was the only warmth, the only scrap of affection, he had ever gotten in this god forsaken place, a place that was cold even in the summer. He had already been without her once, and that had made life incredibly dull. He didn't think he'd survive another time.
"Weren't you listening? It's just a fairy tale. Wishes don't do anything. And even if they did, there's always loop holes."
Heavy silence consumed his words. The girl pouted at him, her lower lip wobbling. The rippled movement of her throat reminded him of a galliforme—not that he had ever seen one, but it looked an awful lot like the illustrations on the toys around the shelter and the pictures he had studied in books about birds, because he had nothing else to do, and he was fascinated by all areas of flight. But he was pretty sure her chin wasn't shaking because she wanted to impress him, and he had a feeling that teasing her about that now would only make her face worse.
Was that not the right thing to say? But it was the truth.
The woman closed the book, marking the end of his thoughts. "Well, believing is better than wallowing in despair. Sometimes faith is all you have left."
The woman walked away. They were now the only two left in the empty play area, the other children hiding in their rooms. The girl shifted her gaze to outside. The window was just a foggy mass of gray. A distant roar of a Wanderer gently rumbled the floor of the shelter as lights flickered on and off.
The deathly quiet was killing him.
"Okay, I'll bite. What's got you in such a mood, Pip-squeak?" Caleb asked. "Why are you so obsessed with that paper crane legend?"
One roar hit too close to home as dust settled between them, the ceiling sprinkling from the thunder. The girl curled into herself.
"Caleb, there are a lot of monsters outside," she finally spoke, her voice a mere whisper. "Will the world end tomorrow?"
Oh. Caleb swallowed. He hadn't realized.
Caleb had been so focused on making sure she didn't end up like the girl in the story that he failed to consider how she must have felt. It was sometimes easy to forget, with how she always managed a smile on her face even in the toughest of times. She was the one who got him through his day, but what was he doing to help her get through hers? That was an awful habit of his. Really, when was the last time they were able to just breathe? There had been too much uncertainty going around, looming over their heads, threatening their lives. Peace shattered ever since the girl was diagnosed with a heart condition and a time limit. With the rise of Wanderers in the skies and illness reports, doctors have been visiting the shelter to keep an eye on the growing pandemic, having yet to determine what the cause of this new condition could be. The children were told to remain inside while the situation was monitored, so Caleb had never been able to take her to the garden again, like how he had cheered her up before. The girl never said anything, hiding all her selfish desires behind that forced smile, so he assumed everything was alright. But Caleb knew better than anyone else that being cooped up in a single place wasn't pleasant, so the isolation must have been eating her alive, with nowhere else to escape bleak reality.
So if the girl wanted to cling onto hope... then Caleb had to oblige. If she was worried the world would end tomorrow, then Caleb just had to make sure it didn't end. He would take her back to the secret place, come what dangerous monsters may, and he would fight off any threat that tried to take her away from him. She had nothing to be afraid of as long as he was there, because he would always protect her and show her that life was worth living. But he could only be this fearless as long she was there with him. The story ended with the girl's death, a fruitless endeavor. But his desire for her to live was stronger than the will of the gods. He wouldn't allow such an event to transpire. If she wanted a different end to her story, then he would craft an even better one where they actually lived through the ending together.
Even if Caleb disagreed with her methods, if that was what she wanted, he would give it to her. He'd do anything for her. He had to provide the answer she was looking for, the smiles and joy and hope, the optimism, so she wouldn't keep dwelling in despair.
Caleb brushed his shoulder against hers. Nudging her cheek, he switched her attention back to him. "There's no need to be afraid of the end of the world. Where do you wanna go today? Let's have some fun."
He was going to get her mind off this gloom if it was the last thing he would do. He rather her focus on him instead of uncertain death. It wasn't that he had been secretly longing to go back to the garden himself, to escape the growing suffocation in search of fresh air. Not at all.
The girl lifted her head, color reappearing in her eyes as she cheered, wrapping her arms around his neck, "...The amusement park!"
She fit perfectly under his chin, and Caleb found himself embracing her back. He smirked at her, bringing his finger to his lips. "Alright. I'll come get you at night. Wait for my signal. We have to sneak out, so let's make it a secret mission."
Later that night, Caleb stared up at the large pagoda tree in the garden.
What better way to get closer to the stars and the world outside these walls? If the garden was no longer safe, then they needed a safer place. The tree would hide them, and they would be free to dream without any fear of ruin.
He hugged the bark, his feet scraping the wood, pulling himself up, climbing the tree to the topmost branch. And with that, he had a perfect view. The branch directly led to the window on the upper floor of the shelter, right where her bed was. He had first noticed this angle back in her bedroom.
Admittedly, perhaps he had snuck out a few times before despite the restriction, just to see if he could climb it. He was testing his physical strength, and he wanted a closer look at the planes that fell from the sky. He never intended to actually use it for her.
Okay, maybe the thought had crossed his mind once or twice before.
His feet dangled from the branch, swinging up and down. This was his first successful attempt. Not like there was any other choice. It had to have been, for his plan to work. He pulled out a page of colored origami paper he stashed into his pocket. He folded the paper into the shape of a crane as best he could, gazing at her favorite spring ride buried in the sand as reference, crisping the edges. Then aiming it at the window, he blew on the wings, and it floated in the air, soaring into the window, where it gently tapped the glass once, twice.
A second later, the window dragged open, and the girl's head peeked out. Her eyes widened at him. "Caleb?"
He held his hand out to her, the paper crane hovering by his side. "Come on. Adventure awaits."
Let me take you to a world where it's just us, where no one can hurt us. Our perfect little fantasy.
The girl blinked. Giggling, she scrambled out the window, then shakily slid up the branch. The paper crane circled around her, guiding her.
"This is new," the girl yelped, clinging onto Caleb once she got close enough.
"Well, it would get boring if we always did the same thing, right?" Caleb shrugged. "Plus, you said you like the stars."
The girl stared at the paper crane as it nuzzled her cheek. "I thought you didn't like that story."
"Well, it has some merit," he said, landing the paper crane into her palm. "I promise to give you a thousand paper cranes until you get healthy again. So from now on, enjoy a better world tomorrow instead of fearing the end. You won't die as long as you have me."
He needed her, and she needed him. That was a fact that would forever remain true. She was the only one who ever chose to be near him, and he was the only one who ever indulged her.
No one else wanted them. No one else would stay. No one else could relate to the feelings and situations they had gone through. They only had each other. As long as he could ensure that, then that was all they would require. And he'd do whatever it took to keep her alive. Because without her, he'd be alone in the dark again.
The girl gazed at him, then leaning in close, she brushed her fingers against his. "And you'll take me to paradise, each and every time."
*****
"So that's why he promised to fold you a thousand cranes?" Zayne asked.
"Yeah," the girl nodded. "He's always been creative. That's why I think he'd love this!"
She held up a badge. It was supposed to be an apple, but it looked more like a loopy blob of red strings. Zayne coughed. "That sure is... a unique texture."
"Is it that bad?" she pouted.
"Well, if you had been making a spider lily instead of an apple, it would pass," Zayne pointed out. But when that response only made her shoulders slump further, he awkwardly patted the curved blades. "It's your first time. You'll get better with practice."
"I didn't expect you to be skilled at something like this. You never seemed interested in any of the crafts Caleb did."
"Embroidery is not the same as building something up from scratch."
They sat criss-crossed on the floor of her bedroom. When the girl learned Zayne knew his way around a needle and thread, she invited him over to bring his kit. But when he arrived, the girl suddenly dragged Zayne into her home. Flustered and stumbling, the next thing he knew, he was alone with her in her room—the door closed. What was supposed to be a brief visit turned into a hostage interrogation as she demanded him to teach her how to embroider. It was nothing less than a kidnapping. He tried to meet her demands, but as always, she wasn't easy to teach.
"I wish I was as good as you, Zayne," the girl sighed, leaning over his shoulder. Zayne shifted as she got too close, her hair grazing his collarbone. He was once again very hyper aware of the fact that he was in her room. A private spot for a girl, not meant for a boy. He lowered his gaze, clutching the badge he had stitched himself. In his hands was a neatly outlined crane, with geometric edges similar to that of origami. He had remembered the promise Caleb made to her but had yet to fulfill. He hoped that maybe, he could make his own contribution to the number goal. But since it was a time before he had come along, he had inquired about the background significance of the paper crane to help aid his inspiration. The girl stroked the lines in his hands. "You're perfect at everything. Where did you learn how to stitch?"
"Dr. Fang taught me," Zayne cleared his throat, heat enveloping his face. "If I'm going to be a surgeon, I need to practice my sutures and precise motor skills."
The girl blinked at him. She scrunched her nose, making a face. "Su... motor... What does that even mean?"
Zayne sighed. "Forget it."
She pulled away from Zayne, giggling. "Caleb is gonna be so happy. His birthday technically passed, but since we were all busy with school, we couldn't celebrate. It's better this way, now that we're all free."
Caleb's birthday was June 13. It was also the day they were adopted. The girl had fought Caleb over who got to claim the day as their birthday, but in the end, Caleb won. She wasn't upset, though. His name meant summer after all, so it only made sense for his birthday to be in summer.
His first birthday in Linkon meant a year had already passed since they moved in with Josephine.
It was all the more special that they were spending the day with Zayne, even though it was closer to July now than June 13. But better late than never.
"Caleb? Happy?" Zayne shook his head. "With you, maybe. If I'm lucky, Caleb will use my gift as a reminder to not slack off on his progress. He never likes when I interfere."
Which makes it easy to get revenge.
"Of course you'd somehow make a gift a threat to do better," the girl clucked her tongue. "But you have to admit, I've made so much progress of my own, right? You guys wouldn't have gotten this close without my help. And now Caleb finally has a friend! One day, I'll make sure he gets along with everyone. Then they all can see how kind he really is."
Sure, Caleb may have been mean to Zayne when they first met, but he had slowly warmed up to him, even if he wouldn't admit it. The girl didn't miss the way his overprotectiveness and desire to make things right would also sometimes extend to Zayne, nor how Caleb never failed to include Zayne in on their adventures. If he truly hated Zayne, he could have just ignored him entirely, like how he had the bullies at school.
"He's only ever kind to you. We may be friends, but I still need to watch my back around him for any pranks," Zayne shuddered.
"He's still doing that?" the girl pursed her lips, pondering. That wasn't good. "Then we'll give him a sneak attack!"
She snatched Zayne's arm and dragged him once more, out of her room.
Caleb sat on the couch, playing some video game on the retro console in the living room. Josephine had given them the console on Caleb's actual birthday, and he had been rather addicted to it since. But of course, Caleb was always the first one to seek an escape from reality. When Zayne had showed up at their doorstep unannounced, Caleb had offered the extra controller to Zayne, but the girl had hurriedly ushered Zayne into her room before he could even decline or accept, which had left Caleb staring after them with a dark look on his face. Naturally, what kind of older brother would he be to just allow another boy enter his baby sister's room? Zayne had half expected him to be waiting on the other side of the door, ready to hound the girl for being careless, but it seemed he now found other ways to release his frustrations, such as the joys of taking it out on the TV.
As shooting sound effects blasted from the TV alongside the smashing of buttons, the girl signaled to Zayne. Lowering their bodies to the floor, they crawled their way to behind the couch, like soldiers navigating trenches in the middle of gunfire.
"Come on, come on," Caleb muttered under his breath. He was manning a starship and fending off enemies. Or maybe more accurately, chasing after enemies.
Just as the victory screen chimed, the girl jumped up, dropping the apple on Caleb's head. A tribute to that scientist guy he was always talking about whenever he wanted to make a joke about apples and gravity.
"Surprise!" the girl screeched in his ear.
Caleb whipped around, twisting his body. Before Zayne could do anything, the paper crane flew out of his hands and into Caleb's.
"What is this? A paper crane?" Caleb inspected the badge in his palm. He spoke nonchalantly, as if he had already been anticipating this. He was hardly ever caught off guard. He pulled off the one from his hair. "And an apple? It's so tiny."
"Hey, it was the best we can do!" the girl yelled. "So appreciate our efforts, okay?"
"This is what you shut me out of your room for? Poor Zayne. I don't even have to imagine how uncomfortable he was, stuck in a girl's room against his will. He should've just played with me when he had the chance."
Zayne blushed.
"It wasn't like that at all!" she stomped her foot, crossing her arms. "And Zayne doesn't like games. He wouldn't have played with you whether I was here or not. Seriously, it doesn't have to be that deep. He was just teaching me how to sew."
Caleb frowned. "Oh, really? Then, is this paper crane for me or for her?"
Zayne cleared his throat. "Both? It's my own wish for her good health, given to you."
Caleb stared at the paper crane. He scowled. "I could've done a better job than this. Just you wait. I'll leave your sewing skills in the dust."
Zayne's eye twitched. "Must you treat everything as a competition?"
"That's how you survive around here. You gotta be better than everyone else if you want to be useful."
"Sounds like an exhausting way to live," Zayne remarked. "If only you could use that energy towards more meaningful things, like getting rid of your procrastination, perhaps."
"Right, because everything just comes naturally to you, and you don't ever have to try," Caleb snarled. "Just like how you were born already the perfect adult, huh? So much so, that fun is beneath you."
The controller vibrated in his hands. Zayne's eyes widened. "Are you that upset I didn't join a game with you?"
"Would you play if I asked?" Caleb raised an eyebrow.
"Of course not. Games are for children."
Caleb blinked at him. The girl flitted her gaze between the two, gnawing on her fingernails. Caleb bursted out laughing, grabbing Zayne by the shoulder, but Zayne didn't miss the tight squeeze. "You just proved my point."
"But..." Zayne winced, throwing a glance in the girl's direction. "If you really wanted me to play with you that much, I guess I can give it a shot."
Tugging Zayne around the couch, Caleb tossed him the other controller and switched the settings to co-op mode. A few minutes later, both boys were hunched over—their gazes fixed on the TV.
The girl huffed, mumbling under her breath as she buried her chin into the couch cushions, "I thought you didn't like games, Zayne."
The front door opened, and the girl turned her head to see Josephine standing by the door, slipping off her shoes.
"Grandma!" the girl scrambled to her, feet sliding on the floor as she leaped onto the older woman. Josephine laughed, patting her head.
"Dammit," Caleb hurled his controller into the cushion beside him. "I lost focus. Why are you so good at this? Isn't this your first time playing?"
"I adapted quickly," Zayne pushed up his glasses. "After a while, I realized the game is only a matter of strategy and mathematics to excel."
Caleb grimaced. "You really can be scary sometimes. I wouldn't want to get on your bad side."
"That would require a lot of effort to begin with, seeing as you are not much of a threat."
"What did you say?" Caleb bristled.
"Xia Yizhou," Josephine scolded. "Watch your language. Zayne is a guest. Don't make me keep repeating myself."
Caleb rolled his eyes.
Josephine cleared her throat. Setting the girl down, she walked in front of the TV. "I know we couldn't do much for your birthday. So I arranged a little surprise with the help of your sister. How about a party at the amusement park?"
She revealed four tickets.
Caleb's eyes widened. He turned to Zayne, who was tearing at his lip. "You weren't forced into this, were you? Or is this the real reason why you came over today? You're seriously tagging along?"
"This is news to me," Zayne had stiffened. He felt like an outsider intruding on a family vacation. But looking into Caleb's eyes, any nerves he may have had about the sudden invitation slowly made way for a rare mischievous gleam. "Why, do you want me to go?"
When Caleb didn't say anything, Zayne shrugged. "Might as well. It will be a first time for all of us."
Caleb pursed his lips. "Bringing along a hostage wouldn't be fun. Besides, amusement parks aren't my thing. She's the one who always wanted to go. I'm just the excuse."
Zayne grinned. "Sure."
Caleb clucked his tongue. "But... since you're insisting..."
"Want me to sew the badges onto your clothes, birthday boy?" Zayne raised an eyebrow.
"Do whatever you want," Caleb whined, twisting his body away from him. But he didn't move beyond that, shutting his eyes.
"See, what did I tell you?" the girl laughed. "He's happy."
*****
"Is it wise to be spending all this money?" Caleb grumbled. "It's not like you're employed."
"Caleb Xia, never bring up someone else's employment status like that again," Josephine smacked his shoulder. "I still have funds saved up. I'll get a job when school starts again if that will make you happy."
Caleb averted his gaze. He caught a family of three, a mom and dad swinging their child between them. "I didn't say that."
The amusement park was crowded. And it was very, very hot. Almost too hot. His clothes stuck onto his skin and sweat dripped down his back. The crown on his head felt heavy on top of it all. An item that was "on the house for the birthday boy." The girl had taken a liking to pressing the buttons on the crown, making it glow up with bright lights.
Right, the girl. He didn't want to ruin her life-long dream. But so far, reality wasn't entirely matching with his fantasy of an amusement park. Wasn't this supposed to be paradise? It was more like a sweltering hellscape.
Zayne seemed worse for wear. He walked stiffly, shoulders up to his ears. He had a sort of stunned expression on his face, and flinched whenever they got a bit too close to someone. What was his deal?
"You don't like rides as much as games?" Caleb drawled.
"It's... an experience," Zayne forced out. "And I wouldn't say I'm too fond of it so far."
A screaming child punctuated his sentence. Zayne's eye twitched.
"Well, Pip-squeak is too small to ride most of them anyways," Caleb said casually. "So I'm not riding them either. Wouldn't be fun if I was the only one."
"I'm not small! It's just delayed growth!" the girl stuck her tongue out at him. "Besides, it's your birthday! Don't let us hold you back. I'll do something else with Zayne while you go on rides."
"Wait—"
But they were already gone, blending in with the crowd. Just a second ago, Zayne had looked out of place. Now, he couldn't tell them apart.
Caleb's fingers flexed, empty.
Earlier, when the girl had led Zayne into her room, locking Caleb out, he didn't know how to feel. She was his "little sister." Naturally he should feel disgruntled. If he wasn't allowed the privilege of going into her room because his gender and age made it "inappropriate," then the same should apply to Zayne. After all, compared to Caleb, Zayne was a stranger, which should have made it worse. But unlike Zayne, who at the end of the day was just a normal boy from the neighborhood, Caleb was her brother, and somehow that relationship made his entry more inappropriate. So really, did Caleb have the right to be upset, when he could just sneak into her room whenever he wanted to see what she was hiding? It wasn't like her door was closed all the time. She couldn't lock the room when she was away.
That wasn't what made him confused, though. What made Caleb confused was that he felt bothered by Zayne's refusal to play with him. Which didn't make any sense. Why had that irked him so much? Why would he even want to do anything with Zayne? He used to want him gone, not by his side. Since when did these complicated feelings start? He had only wanted to get close to him so he wouldn't be around her much. But as he was abandoned by both of them, he could no longer decide... was he jealous of Zayne, or the girl?
No. The issue was that they were supposed to be celebrating his birthday together. This had even been their idea, not his. So why were they going off without him on his birthday? Was he really that awful to be around?
"How about we get a balloon?" Josephine suggested. "They have some over there. All birthdays involve balloons."
Josephine grabbed an orange balloon from the stand. Wrapping it around Caleb's wrist, his heart skipped a beat.
"Get off me! I don't want to be locked up again! Don't make me go back there!"
Caleb stared at his hand. Not one of his best moments, a day where he had been peculiarly feeling rebellious. He shouldn't have lost his cool like that. That was a time where she only had him to rely on, and if he couldn't put on his tough guy act, then she would have no one to lean on. She would see that he was just a useless child who couldn't do anything to save her. But he had been vulnerable, and for once, he wanted to fight and scream and cry and kick. Because life wasn't fair, and he hadn't wanted to accept that fact. It was the first time someone had ever left him, never to come back, and he didn't want to be alone again. Now he was spending the rest of his days compensating for that loss.
He rubbed the strand. The balloon was weightless. It shouldn't have felt like such a burden.
Josephine grabbed his hand, and they began a slow walk around the park. It wasn't that Caleb wanted to hold hands with someone like Josephine, but more that he had no choice, was all. He absolutely wasn't feeling lonely, and even if he was, there was no way Josephine could fill that void for him.
Caleb stopped. The clinks of metal and copper capturing his attention as coins flipped in the air and plunked into water.
"That's a wishing fountain," Josephine explained. "You make a wish on a coin and toss it into the water."
"Sounds dull," Caleb enunciated. He never believed in wishes. But he walked towards it anyway, picking up a coin someone had left behind on the ground. He turned it over in his hands, the light blinding him as it reflected the sun.
I don't want to be on my own.
So let us remain together forever.
Closing his eyes, he flicked the coin, hearing the splash.
When he opened his eyes again, a harsh wind blew at his back, wiping away the tears that had been leaking from his pores since he arrived at the park. But the wind was also taking something away from him, as the strand on his wrist fled down his hand, past his fingers. His hand reached out, his fingers brushing the strands before it could fully escape.
Caleb gasped, the balloon slipping from his grip. He planted his feet on the ground and yanked it back, but it was already too far gone, snapping from his fingers. The air twisted around him as he forced it back with his Evol, but he could feel the balloon fighting against his current, too light to get a strong hold. The harder he pressed, the more narrow the balloon got, squeezed by the sides. He heard a low and steady whistle, the sound of a rubber band losing its threads. Caleb's eyes widened. But before he could let go of his Evol, a deafening pop exploded in his ears, and the balloon deflated, sagging to the ground.
"My balloon..."
"Oh my," Josephine's voice came from beside him. "That's a shame."
"Why..." Caleb croaked, his throat burning. Licking his lips, he swallowed and tried again. "Why did it pop?"
"Balloons don't mix well with air pressure," Josephine said, picking up the pieces. "They are delicate things."
Caleb sucked in a breath. "But... balloons can't be fixed."
"No, but we can always get another."
Why did it leave? Why won't it come back? Because you were too harsh with it. Those who are captured will only always long to be free. After all, we all have one life, and no one wishes to lose it.
So was it he who was captured, or the balloon?
"No. It's not special anymore if I get another. There can only be the one."
He didn't want to replace anyone, anymore than he wanted to be replaced. All lives were precious things.
"Caleb!" a hand pulled him from the darkness, and when he turned his gaze, it was full of her. She came back to him. She didn't leave him behind. "Zayne and I are going to some stalls. Come with us!"
"Yeah," Caleb smiled back at her. "Okay."
He had already forgotten about the balloon.
As the girl dragged them stall to stall, swaying their hands between them, Zayne kept giving Caleb glances.
Caleb had enough. "What?"
"Are you actually having fun? You look..." Zayne could only gesture at him, an arch to his eyebrows.
Caleb inhaled, straightening his face, wiping it clear of any discrepancies. He forced out a grin. "Yeah, I'm having the best time. Can't you tell?"
"Oh," Zayne blinked. "Okay then. For a second, I thought—"
"Why, you want someone to share your misery?" Caleb nudged him. "I bet you didn't even ride on the kiddie stuff because of all the germs, knowing you. That must be why she came back so soon."
"...Perhaps," Zayne smiled in resignation. "I think I've learned amusement parks aren't my thing. I prefer something quiet and simple."
That wasn't something the two of them could provide. It was always rowdy with them around. But Caleb had thought Zayne was finally warming up to that idea. Of course, why would he bother hanging around them so often if he truly couldn't stand them? But maybe they were too much for him to handle, after all.
"Quiet? You might as well as go to the aquarium," Caleb waved.
"Aquarium?" Zayne said thoughtfully. "That's a good idea. We should do that next."
We?
"That's not what I—"
"Zayne! Gege! Look!" the girl skipped over to them, two fluffy piles of pink and blue in her hands.
"What is that?" Zayne peered curiously.
"Candy floss!" she shook one towards him. "Want to try it?"
Zayne scrunched up his nose. "Floss? That doesn't look like floss at all. Who would name a type of candy after floss? That's an oxymoron."
The girl pouted. "Zayne is being weird again."
"Well, it's also called cotton candy," Caleb grabbed a handful and stuffed it into his mouth. He smacked his lips. "Could use more sour. This is just nothing but sugar."
Zayne immediately grabbed a handful of his own. He licked it, the sugar melting in his mouth, the sweetness of strawberry and raspberry coating his tongue. He licked it again. So soft. His shoulders relaxed, the first time since coming to the park. "Yes, cotton candy is suitable."
A seagull squawked above them, perching on one of the tent poles.
Caleb took another bite of the cotton candy as he stared at the Saundersilarus saundersi, the gulls native to East Asia.
"That sounds like you, Pip-squeak," Caleb said.
"As if! Would you even still like me if I was a seagull?"
A silly question. Caleb's favorite shows on TV would always remain the DAA news and that bird fossil series on Discovery. After all, there was no animal he liked better than the last remaining dinosaurs of this world. A species that could outlast catastrophe and was the inspiration of human flight, how could he not be interested? It was something to be studied. The knowledge was useful.
"Of course. You'd be an adorable seagull. We can all be seagulls, if that makes you feel better. We can fly away together."
"Why would I want to be a seagull?" Zayne frowned.
"You have no choice. You're stuck with us now," Caleb wrapped his arm around his shoulders.
"Oh! A photo booth! I always wanted to do this," the girl intercepted, already dragging them to their next adventure.
They slid into the booth, the curtain flapping around them and giving them privacy. They sat shoulder to shoulder, cramped inside the blue box. The three of them faced off a black beady eye that searched through their souls. Shoving each other around, fighting over who got to press the button first, Zayne broke through the tumble to slip a spare dollar into the slot. With the firm click, the trio scrambled to get into perfect posture for the OTTO camera.
Snap. Snap. Snap.
The curtain rustled once more with a light giggle, and the three hopped out one after the other, each with a strip of film in their hand.
Caleb stared at the column of three photos in his hand. It wasn't perfect. His crown had gotten lopsided, and he was mid-headlock with Zayne in one of them, but their smiles were big, and his eyes rippled as brightly as the last gleam of sunlight before it fell down into the night. He folded it neatly into his pocket.
"Now we'll remember this day forever!" the girl squealed, throwing her hands around Caleb and Zayne, just like she had done in one of the photos. "I can't wait to show Grandma! We should make this a tradition every birthday, Gege!"
Caleb looked away, trying to twist himself out of her grip. "Yeah."
Zayne's eyes locked onto some other stalls in the distance. "Should we go over there?"
"Those are gaming booths," Caleb said, finally unwrapping the girl's hand from his neck.
"Oh, I forgot. We got worried about you being on your own, so we came back without going on any rides," the girl tapped her chin. "Should we do some games instead?"
As they approached the booths, Caleb's frown deepened. "I can't do any of these."
"Hm? But I'm sure you'd do good at the shooter ones," the girl tilted her head.
"It's precise shooting," Zayne said, leaning forward. "While Caleb has exceptional marksmanship... he would still need to pinpoint the accurate target to find the prize."
Understanding dawned on the girl. She gave Caleb a pitying look. "You always sucked at spotting the difference."
Caleb's eye twitched. "Thank you so much for your words of encouragement, Pip-squeak. I'll be sure to remember that next time when you're still too short to ride the roller coasters."
The girl gaped at him. "That's so not fair!"
"Well, let's not leave empty handed," Zayne scanned their surroundings. "There's got to be something we can at least all do together."
"The merry-go-round?" the girl suggested. "I've always wanted to ride it."
The one that went up and down and all around? A motion nightmare. Zayne shuddered. "Anything but that."
The girl sulked. "You're not making this any easy, Zayne."
Yes, he was the problem. He didn't fit in anywhere. Zayne hung his head.
"We would have to be separated if we did the merry-go-round anyways," Caleb said, swinging his gaze to him. His eye caught on something up high. "How about that?"
"The Ferris Wheel?" the girl gasped. "It's true. I never would've thought of that before. And the fireworks should be starting soon, so we can watch it from there!"
Zayne blinked, the color draining from his face. "I don't know..."
"Come on," Caleb grabbed his hand. "We're not gonna get anywhere if you're gonna disapprove of everything. Get out of your comfort zone a little."
Zayne bit his lip. "I suppose."
"Aren't you going to have any regrets?" Caleb gazed at him. "You haven't been doing much."
"I never have regrets," Zayne said stiffly. "Every decision I make is carefully planned for that purpose. And why would I have anything to regret, when we have all the time in the world to just go another day and do the things we couldn't do before then? It also wouldn't be fun if we did everything today. At least this way, we still have something to look forward to. Don't you think?"
"Is this a promise to go again? You sure about that?" Caleb squeezed his hand.
Zayne winced. "Perhaps when it's night? It's less crowded at night. More quiet."
A half-hearted compromise. That's what he thought. Caleb laughed. "Don't make promises you can't keep. Don't worry about it if you don't like amusement parks. It's more than enough that me and her finally got to see a real one. You didn't even know we were going today. If anything, we dragged you here. It's not any different from a kidnapping. You didn't have to come. So... thanks for that, I guess."
Zayne wasn't able to say anything to that—they had arrived to the line, and their turn was already next, the compartment swaying and creaking in greeting.
The three of them clambered into the compartment, the floor wobbling under their weight. Caleb and the girl sat on either side of Zayne, who was stiff as a rod, his face pale.
"Don't be scared, Zayne!" the girl held onto his hand. "You got me!"
"That's not as reassuring as you think it is."
"What's that supposed to mean?" the girl squeezed his fingers, her eyes glinting dangerously.
The compartment lurched upward, slowly ascending into the air.
"Wow," the girl muttered, her hand falling away from his as she leaned forward, her gaze fixed on the sky before them. Caleb followed after her. Now this was finally something worth seeing.
As they reached closer to the top, the compartment stilled. They were surrounded by a sea of stars that were shot at by cannonballs of color, sparks raining down over their boat.
"Someone once told me that I used to be a star. I fell down to Earth, and that's how I met Caleb and Grandma," the girl extended her hand out the window, as if she could grasp onto a star. "Maybe we'll go back to the stars when our time on Earth is up."
Zayne scrunched his nose. "I thought we were seagulls. Now we're stars?"
"We can be anything we want to be. Do you think that's too childish?" she tilted her head up at him. Zayne gazed down at her, his lips parting. Their fingers were inches apart, just near to grazing each other, and Zayne seemed to be twitching.
"...No. Not at all. I find that stars are more pleasing than seagulls."
Caleb frowned. But if she went back to the stars, what about him? Stars were years apart. They'd never be able to be together again. No. He wouldn't let that happen. She wasn't going back to the sky without him again. And he didn't want damn Zayne going off with her, either. Why couldn't they just stay here?
His gaze locked onto the sky in front of him. He loved the sky. But dark like this, it felt ominous. Still, he supposed the subtle twinkling in the middle of the darkness was a sight to behold.
"Well, here we are now. It's no Cloudia Island or anything like our dreams, but it's as close to our paradise as we're going to get in these forms," Caleb stretched his arms behind his head. He turned to the girl, sliding his hand over the top of her hair. "You better really soak in this view. This will probably be the tallest you'll ever get, Pip-squeak."
The girl smacked his hand away.
"I'm sure she'll get tall enough eventually," Zayne said sagely.
"Thank you, Zayne! At least someone gets me," the girl snuggled up to Zayne's side, much to his flustered face, and glared at Caleb.
Caleb huffed. "Yeah, right. The day she grows taller than either of us is the day hell will freeze over. And neither is likely because there is no way Zayne is going to hell."
Zayne furrowed his brow. "Thanks for the compliment, I think."
The compartment shook again, and the carriage filled with silence as they descended back to the ground.
Shuffling along with the crowd, Josephine waited for them up ahead, waving her phone at them.
"I texted her," Zayne said, upon seeing Caleb's flat expression. "Should I not have done that?"
Caleb stared ahead. "Whatever."
As they got closer to Josephine, a parade of mascots marched nearby, dancing with holograms that flickered between them. They seemed to tell a story of an island adventure.
Zayne leaned toward Caleb, whispering, "We still got Cloudia Island. We'll aim as close as we can and settle for nothing less. That way, we won't have any regrets."
The mascots gathered around as the holograms turned vicious, dashing through them with swords. The mascots scurried and twirled, then began to fight back, defeating their captors as they emerged victorious warriors.
The girl stumbled forward, her eyes widening at one of the mascots, but Zayne pulled her back and continued to push her in the opposite direction, towards Josephine. Probably so she wouldn't get lost, but Caleb didn't miss the blush to his ears and the deeper furrow of his brow, the ticking of his jaw.
Spending so much time together must be rubbing him off on Zayne. A flutter twisted in Caleb's stomach. He cleared his throat, ignoring the weird sensation that overcame him, almost as if he was... giddy over that fact. Because that would be ridiculous. Why share so much joy in feeling the same intensity about a certain person, even more so the idea that it was Caleb's doing that made him develop a jealous streak? What jealousy even was there to be had?
Shaking his head, he strided past them. As Caleb was knocked by the crowd, he spotted a much smaller child on the ground, their hands shielding their head as everyone else rushed past them.
Caleb watched the scene blankly, his body roughly pushed back and forth like a ping pong ball in a machine. When the child's cries and sniffles reached his ears, Caleb stepped forward—
And walked right past the child, his face unchanging.
"Caleb!" the girl scolded, clinging onto him as she yanked him back.
"What?" Caleb called over his shoulder. "Gran is waiting."
"But you can't just leave the child like that! It's not right!"
"So? What do you want me to do?" Caleb snatched his arm back from her. "We have to worry about ourselves."
"How can you say that? Zayne, talk sense into Caleb!"
Zayne's eyes widened. Looking sheepishly at Caleb, he scratched his head. "It would be the right thing to do, ethically speaking. But efficiently speaking..."
"See? Even Zayne doesn't get it," Caleb shrugged. "Just leave it to the adults."
"But you're a good person, Caleb!" the girl grabbed his shoulders. "And walking away from that is just wrong! I want everyone to see just how amazing my big brother is!"
Caleb stiffened. His eye twitched as the girl continued to shake him, looking at him with those droopy eyes. She shoved her face closer to him, too close, so close he could see his reflection in her gaze. Those bright eyes wavered in front of him, flickering with light that broke through the colors, like a shattering mirror. Was it fear? Disgust? He couldn't look any longer. He didn't want to see that in her gaze. Not her. A second longer, and she would see right through his careful act. Averting his gaze and shutting his eyes, he pushed her away.
Seriously. What could he possibly do that no one else could do? Why did it have to be him?
Glancing at the child once more, Caleb saw someone trip from not too far away. The body tipped down, aiming straight for the child in slow motion. Before he could even think, Caleb waved his hand. The body froze, and Caleb trudged towards the child, even though he said he wouldn't. With a tsk, he threw the wannabe assailant a scathing look as they glanced around their surroundings with bafflement. With a sheepish apology, they ran away. Before anyone else could stomp on him or the child, Caleb compressed the air around them, creating a barrier.
"Hey," Caleb spoke, crossing his arms. "What happened to you? Don't you know sitting here like a duck is only going to put you in harm's way?"
The child stopped sniffling, looking up at Caleb.
"Uh..." Caleb rubbed his neck. He really wasn't good at this. He only knew how to talk to the girl, and even then, he was pretty sure she only paid his behavior no mind to see whatever it was she wanted to see instead. He tried to recall all those lessons Josephine gave him. "What I mean is... do you know where your parents are?"
The child shook his head.
This wasn't getting them anywhere. Caleb sighed.
"Hop on," Caleb gestured to his back. "I'll lift you up. See if you can point them out. If not, we'll head straight to the nearest security officer. Okay?"
Lifting the child up, Caleb maneuvered through the endless crowd with the help of his Evol, preventing anyone from getting too close. Then, using his Evol to slightly levitate the child higher above the crowd, they found an exit.
It was a coincidence, or perhaps luck, that the parents were by the nearest security officer. Caleb handed the child over to them, and unable to fully reject the parents' gratitude, he came back with three pieces of candy, free of charge.
He stared at the candy as the girl came over to him, praising his heroics. But he wasn't paying attention to her.
Did he... like being good?
Caleb didn't think he could ever feel satisfaction from performing deeds. He was always the center of attention, but that stemmed from cruelty and control. Constant victory was born out of a need to survive, not as a selfish past time. But Caleb had to admit, there was a certain thrill whenever he received positive attention instead of negative attention, whenever he completed a task thought by everyone else to be impossible. It was rare, and uncomfortable, since he never received heartfelt praise before. Praise that didn't commend the destruction he wrought. Cheers and unwanted hugs from the team whenever he successfully scored a basket, neighborhood boys begging for his time as they looked at him with awe instead of fear or cruel intent. Relieved smiles the family gave him for saving their child.
All he had to do was solve problems, problems with solutions that came naturally to him, and people acted like he was on top of the world.
It made Caleb realize maybe a life where he wasn't alone, where people wanted him for who he was without dissecting his worth and gains, who willingly sought him out as a reliable guy that could fix all their problems, and didn't see him as some entity who could easily destroy the world if given the proper training... could exist. This life had been denied to him, but yet, was so close within his reach.
Caleb wanted to be a hero. Not just because she wanted him to be a hero. But because for once, he genuinely wished he could do something useful that wasn't harmful to others. Because he was greedy, seeking attention he never got before, projecting his self onto others like him, desperate for connection to this world, and he wanted proof that he was who the girl believed him to be.
His heart twisted in his chest. This was a side of him he had already thought long dead. He should have done a more thorough job at killing it off if he wanted to remain hidden. Could he really help others, when his future was already set for him?
Zayne gave him a knowing look.
"...You actually like helping others. That's why you're always taking in strays. I've noticed."
Did he mean the kitten, or the dog? But those couldn't count as "taking them in." The girl claimed Caleb had a certain way of animals, but Caleb's experience with animals would say otherwise. The first "pet" he ever had was killed. So he thought the way he cared for it had been the issue. He kept a tighter leash on the kitten, but that only made the kitten long to run away, always scrambling from his grasp with a hiss. The dog was left to his own devices, coming and going as he pleased, and when he came, it was because of food and head scratches. An instinct, not by choice. Dogs were always the easiest to win over, especially when you dangled affection in front of one who had been long abandoned. He knew that better than anyone else. But Caleb only indulged the dog because it impressed the girl that he was some kind of "dog whisperer." Not because he actually cared for the dog himself. With time, he was sure the dog would leave him as well, seeing that his visits were sparse to begin with, and the dog was getting bigger—practically the size of a wolf. He would have other business eventually. A new family to worry about.
Still, Caleb had gotten more used to it. The dog would often sniff his right arm and seemed oddly fascinated by technology and engineering as much as Caleb was, always watching him with intensity as Caleb showed him how to put together model kits, occasionally sometimes bringing spare metal parts as offerings, but beyond that, the dog still snarled and growled and huffed. Caleb had a conspiracy that the dog only came because of the girl, and only tolerated Caleb as an extension of that—or perhaps he was keeping watch, guarding the girl from what he assumed was predators after his pack. Just like how Caleb only hogged the dog to protect her from any surprise attacks. Yes, Caleb wasn't fond of strays—they were untamed, uncivilized, unloyal. They only listened when they had a leader to follow, but Caleb never had willingly taken that role out of "just because," but simply obligation as his duty to protect the girl. It wasn't his intention to have helped others. That was just something that... happened. It couldn't be more than that.
Caleb scoffed. "No way. I just didn't want to make her sad."
She could never know the truth. That he wasn't the good person she thought he was. That was all it could be. He couldn't allow himself to have that weakness. But for how much longer must he pretend?
Zayne's eyes never left his soul, not convinced. "Still counts."
As they moved again, Caleb caught something from the corner of his eye. A man taller than the rest, his head bowed and obscured by a baseball cap. He sucked in a breath.
"You'll give us the next location, won't you? What do you think is a good spot?"
"Some place quiet. Not too crowded."
"The aquarium... or the park next to it. That's quiet enough. And the young Emissary frequents that area often."
"I've never seen him go too far away. It's not a guarantee he'll be there."
"Don't get a change of heart now. We'll meet again soon."
Caleb lowered his head. There was no way he could be a hero. Not when he had just sent them all to their doom for his own self-preservation.
Was there any way out of this?
He had to make sure the aquarium never happened. But he knew Zayne. Zayne would never have the courage to invite her out himself. They were just joking around, saying meaningless things in passing. It should be safe. Right?
He'd protect them. This was all for them. They'd understand.
He clenched his fists. From beside him, one of the mascots fell, betrayed by his own kind.
"Hey, Zayne," Caleb asked. "What do you think of sad endings?"
"Sad endings? Why, are you sad?" Zayne blinked. Then said thoughtfully, "It's okay to be sad. But... I don't like them. I rather avoid tragedies. Don't you think the same? So let's just have happy endings instead."
"What's this talk about sad endings?" the girl frowned. "You did a good deed. So it was a happy ending! And we'll keep having happy endings. We'll do this again and again, every year. And next time will be better because I'll be tall enough to ride! Just you wait, I'm gonna prove you wrong!"
"But Zayne doesn't like amusement parks," Caleb pointed out. "I doubt he'll want to go to one again."
"No way! I'm not letting Zayne get out of this one, either!"
"Well, if it's with you, I can make an exception. I'll never improve if I don't test myself," Zayne lowered his head. "It wouldn't hurt you to be more honest. Don't feel bad about enjoying yourself. It's your birthday."
Caleb froze. How did he know? But of course he'd know. It was Zayne. A chuckle escaped from him in disbelief.
"Kids! Smile at the camera!" Josephine called, finally reaching their destination. "I'll get the mascots in the background."
Zayne and Caleb glanced at each other. There were still many things left unsaid, but they forced smiles on their faces as always as they pretended everything was alright. Zayne really was becoming a pro at this.
After the camera flashed, Caleb yanked Zayne towards him, twisting his wrist in his grip. "Then that's a promise you must keep. You better still be here next year."
Zayne's expression wavered.
"Caleb! Zayne! Get over here!" the girl yelled.
Turning away from Zayne, Caleb threw a smile towards the girl, sashaying her way and bending down to peer at Josephine's phone, his eyes softening. "Nice shot."
"Then maybe we should take photos every year for your birthday," Josephine said. "Every memory counts."
Did it really?
Then why did it feel like he was about to lose everything, just like that deflated balloon he couldn't save?
*****
"Happy birthday to you!"
Voices rang out in the yard as Caleb blew out the candles of his birthday cake. The camera flashed in his face, just like it did every year.
"Thanks for the cake, Ms. Zhang!" a boy cheered, followed by rambunctious laughter. Friends. Caleb finally had some he could call his own. He never thought he would, after Zayne. But at some point, he had attracted a crowd who wouldn't leave him alone, worming their way into his life, and they just stuck.
It was painfully obvious to him he wasn't meant to have a life like this, yet somehow, he had managed to create one for himself. It felt too good to be true, but things have been going so smoothly, and Caleb hoped that maybe he could hold onto all of this for once, until his final breath. So he kept them around, even though a part of him screamed that he was being foolish for minding temporary things. But he told himself it was okay. Because even with friends surrounding him, there was always still just one person he cared about more than anybody else.
"Happy birthday, Gege!" the girl ran into his arms. "Hope your wish comes true!"
"It will, now that you're here," Caleb smiled at her.
"Ooo," the boys echoed. But Caleb could no longer see them. All he could see was her.
"No matter what we do to get her away from Caleb, she keeps coming back," another boy shook his head. "They truly are inseparable for a pair of siblings, don't you think?"
"That's simple. It's because no one will take her away from me again, no matter how hard they try," Caleb said, his eyes never leaving hers. "Just like gravity."
As the party faded out, Caleb and the girl approached Josephine. In her hands was a thick red book, filled with paper covered in plastic. She was arranging a group of photos she had taken into the book.
Caleb peered over her work. The page next to the one she was arranging were a few older photos. Photos he never thought he'd see again.
Something cracked inside of him. He had tried so hard to replace that crack, but once it cracked once, it was bound to crack again. No matter what you did to patch it up, it would never be the same. He couldn't lie to himself. Even with this new life he had, and with her by her side, there was stil a profound void, an emptiness he couldn't shake, and now it was back with a vengeance.
Because even with all the people there, there was one person he still had longed to see. And each year, that antcipation was disappointed, again and again, until no hope was left.
"Why do you still have that?" Caleb asked, pointing.
"Hm? These?" Josephine held the book straighter so he could see better. A pair of sharp hazel-green eyes stared back at him from behind rectangle glasses. It was almost mocking, seeing a photo when the man hadn't been present. He had left traces of himself all over the house, yet he could never show his face. As if he had forgotten all about them. "Don't you think it's a good idea to still remember him? Dr. Fang is still our family doctor, and the Lis have been sending you gifts every year."
Caleb scowled. "The Lis. Not himself."
"Gege..." the girl rubbed his back. "It's been years. Zayne is probably just busy. He's been accomplishing a lot. I'm sure he'll contact us again one day."
How could she have forgiven him so easily already, when she had cried her eyes out when he moved? Things were finally peaceful. If he came back, Caleb just knew that everything he had sacrificed in the past would come back to bite him. No. He couldn't let Zayne near them, where he would destroy this happiness, make her sad just like he did before. Caleb gritted his teeth. "Yeah, if I ever see him again..."
He looked at the girl. Something dark and twisted forming in his heart, growing stronger each year he grew older. "I'll make him regret it."