Hello! I'm a 24 year old author from the USA. I write a variety of genres, both fanfiction and original works. I made a Tumblr so my readers can keep track of all my WIPs since I have not been able to post fully written chapters in a long time. Hopefully this will satisfy those who have been wanting to read something from me!
Dog Days (a Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) by Outcast
SUMMARY:
Two boys. One girl. All victims who share the same fate.
That one snowy day that brought them together had permanently altered their lives. It was the day they both decided they would do anything, including sacrifice themselves, to protect her.
They never thought they would see each other again, but their desires had pulled them together once more in a strange twist of destiny.
Perhaps they were always meant to reunite in the same place, for her.
VIBES:
Frozen x The Snow Queen x Narnia x Wuthering Heights x Wicked x Paradise Lost x Icarus x Tekkonkinkreet x Percy Jackson x Black Butler x Kpop Demon Hunters x Everything Everywhere All At Once x Interstellar x Arrival x Loki x Assassin’s Creed
Dog Days (a Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Thirteen: The Dog
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
This is another cute, wholesome slice-of-life chapter. I’ve combined elements from Endless Summer, Clearwind Guide, Skyline, Wayward Wonderland, and Zayne’s Mystic Adventure.
Fun Fact: Caleb and Zayne BOTH mention feeding a stray dog in their childhood with MC in their own cards. I like to believe this is a canon trio moment. I just had to include it.
*****
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the origina plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
#####
"Remember, Caleb. Act like a proper older brother. No more losing control."
Josephine's words rang in his head. Those were the orders he was given since being adopted.
Caleb tried fulfilling that role. He really had. Until he couldn't anymore.
Friend. She had a friend, and it wasn't him—not even Zayne. She wouldn't give him any information beyond that. They were supposed to be loners. When she did have time to get a friend? He couldn't even scout. She interacted with everyone else just the same. How could he know if this friend was truly a friend? What if they were just using her? Then one day, after yelling at him for being a pest, she said she'll introduce him to her friend on the last day of school.
So Caleb waited. He tapped his foot against the marble floor, his eyes scanning the crowd.
"I'm here…" footsteps squeaked next to him, breath hitting his shoulder.
"Uh-huh," Caleb said mindlessly, his gaze still forward.
Zayne wiped his forehead, panting. "You've made me run faster than I've ever had in my life, just to get here in time, and that's all you have to say?"
"Good. You'll need the exercise for when the time comes," Caleb glanced at Zayne. "Now be quiet. You'll make me miss her."
"Blood hound," Zayne muttered under his breath. He straightened his back. "Do we need to go this far…?"
Caleb ignored him. Nothing was too far for her.
Zayne sighed. A few female students passed by, turning their heads at Caleb. They giggled. But still, he did not acknowledge them.
"You must be popular," Zayne remarked. "Although, I have no idea why."
"Caleb Xia! We have a score to settle!" a group of rowdy boys shouted at them from across the hall.
Zayne raised an eyebrow. "More fans of yours?"
"Who?" Caleb furrowed his brow, squinting at the door.
"Hey, we're talking to you!" a hand shoved Caleb's shoulder. "Or should we talk to your sister instead?"
Zayne eyes widened. "Hey—"
Caleb snatched the hand that touched him. He finally shifted his gaze, but his eyes were clouded over with storms. "Move it."
The boys froze.
"Are you deaf? Or do you want me to tell that teacher over there that you have Protocores on you?"
The boys scrambled.
"…Will you get in trouble?"
"Nah," Caleb shook his head. Josephine only told him to not get caught. And he made sure no one talked.
Besides… who would believe the golden boy could do such a thing? He was so obedient.
But most kids were too ashamed to admit they lost to the new weirdo. Or they suddenly got eager to be his friend, not wanting to upset him further. Word spread around, and the offers kept coming. He was drawing too much attention to himself.
He should really stop. But… a part of him thrived on it. And if it made her look up to him, too…
"Where did those kids find Protocores, anyways?" Zayne pondered. "The regulations have been getting stricter to protect against threats and smugglers."
"Rich and spoiled. Don't know, don't care," Caleb shrugged.
Zayne opened his mouth to say more, but the homeroom door finally opened, and a stream of students rushed into the hall. But somehow, among the crowd, only one person stood out.
Caleb's breath caught in his throat. Zayne gulped beside him.
The girl was talking to another student. She laughed at something the student said, turning her head. Her gaze landed on them. She smiled, waving them over.
The student beside her tapped her shoulder. Cupping their mouth, they leaned towards the girl and whispered in her ear.
"I miss our shelter…" Caleb mumbled. "At least then… I didn't have to worry about any interruptions."
"It's just a friend. At least it's not a boy, like we thought…" Zayne said, then gasped, a blush consuming his face. He tugged at his collar. "Which… shouldn't matter, either… Why are we doing this again?"
"That's not the point. It's one more person taking her away, when it was just supposed to be us…"
The girl pushed the student away, her forehead frowning down into a scowl. She marched towards Caleb and Zayne. The other student gave one last wave and a wink before disappearing back into the crowd.
"Zayne! What are you doing here?"
"Uh…" Zayne's eyes widened. He raised his hands, shielding himself from her. "It's my last day as well. I figured I'd surprise you."
Those were the lines they had rehearsed. Perhaps it would've been more believable, if he spoke louder. He always became a blubbering mess around her.
"You can't just show up whenever you want! You're like a magnet!"
Zayne blinked. "Huh?"
"I'm the one who hooked you! I'm not letting anyone—"
Caleb covered her mouth, muffling her next words. "Don't listen to a thing she says. She's just being ridiculous."
Caleb had been half-joking when he arranged for Zayne to come to their school. He knew enough about what general girls liked about guys to guess that Zayne would appeal to the eyes. He had an elegant air about him, an underlying warmth that wrapped everyone in a blanket. He was far more approachable than Caleb would ever be, even with that stoic expression, which only made people want to peel off those cold layers to get to the warmth. He hoped other girls would drive a wedge between her and Zayne. He had been serious about his revenge at least. But obviously, that back fired. He underestimated just how much she wanted him.
Oh, well. There would be more opportunities.
Just because he said they were friends didn't mean anything. He was just planning ahead. It's what he always did. If he got to Zayne first, she'd eventually give up… right?
"Gran wants us to stop at the store on the way home," Caleb removed his hand from the girl. "Let's go."
"Caleb Xia! Where do you think you're going? We need to talk…"
A group of boys in blue and white gym uniforms rushed at them. Zayne turned his gaze to Caleb. "Don't tell me…"
"Run," Caleb said, swinging the girl up on his back. They made a bolt for it.
*****
"Did we lose them?" Caleb asked. He hadn't even broken a sweat. His legs pumped with ease, toned from basketball practice. The one good thing about joining the sport.
"Yeah…" Zayne looked behind them, then glanced at Caleb's legs, frowning. "Thanks to your running. But… do you get into fights often? It seems like you have enemies everywhere."
"They're just jealous."
"We're used to it by now," the girl said. "The neighborhood bullies always chase after us. But Caleb, do you seriously need to carry me?"
Caleb tightened his grip on her legs. "But you like piggyback rides."
"I can run on my own!" the girl whined, hitting his back with her fists.
Caleb winced, setting her down. They fell into a leisurely walk.
Caleb and Zayne hung behind as the girl took the lead.
"…Are you getting the hang of it?" Zayne tilted his head. "Embracing the role of her older brother?"
Was he? It didn't feel like he was doing anything special. And did it qualify if she always rejected him? But… that was all he could do, all he had to cling on.
Caleb glanced at the girl. "Yeah… so don't go taking my spot."
"…You're not going to tell her anything?" Zayne whispered. "Doesn't she deserve to know what's going on?"
"Would you actually tell her?" Caleb snapped. "Yapping your mouth is what gets you killed. If that's all you're gonna do, then stay out of my way. I can't cover your butt if you screw up. I hate improvising."
"Are you… worried about me, Caleb?" Zayne leaned forward. Their shoulders brushed. When had they gotten so close?
Caleb blinked. That was preposterous. "Hell no."
Zayne smiled. "If you say so. But… should we really not tell anyone? What if she finds out and gets upset?"
"Don't act like you know her better than I do. No one knows her better than me. I'm her brother. I'll always be first—so remember that," Caleb looked away. "We can't tell her anything. She must never know. Not even anyone else. We take this secret to our graves. That's the price we paid. You're about to find out just how far we need to go for her. We have to always be one step ahead if we want a chance at winning this."
Yes. This was going to be the last time. He was sure of it.
Then when he was gone—
"But doesn't it get tiring? The act?" Zayne shook his head. "You should at least tell someone your secrets."
"Are you volunteering?"
Zayne smiled. "Perhaps. Want me to be your big brother, Caleb?"
Caleb cringed. "Get lost."
But… it felt nice, not having to shoulder everything on his own. The girl saw him, but… she only saw the version he wanted her to see. The good that he made everyone else believe. Zayne saw right through his act, though. He had since the beginning. He didn't need to pretend for Zayne. Didn't have to split himself into two. At some point… the girl wasn't the only one who could pull him from the darkness, as much as he didn't want to admit it. They both hung onto his arms, keeping him grounded so he wouldn't fly too far away. Without realizing it, they had become his gravity.
And perhaps… the envious gaze he sometimes caught Zayne having towards them wasn't just for the girl, but for their bond in general… Zayne was an only child. Did he wish he had a sibling to care for?
The girl stopped in front of them. She swung around. "You and Zayne have been super close lately… what are you two keeping from me?”
“You and Zayne have secrets too. But I can’t have any with him?” Caleb accused.
“That’s… well, I always tell you mine in the end because you demand them!” she stomped her foot. "I know you think I'm unaware… but I know something is up! Why can't you tell me?"
It was true. She always had a crazy sixth sense for reading people and picking up tension. And she was just as always good at defusing it. If his super power was finding her, hers was that. She masked her grim reality by forcing out a perky personality. That's how she always managed to tame Caleb when he got into one of his moods. And in turn, only Caleb ever got to see those gloomy bits when she could no longer hide it.
It was exactly why all of this was so risky. One day… she'll find out everything. And their world will crumble.
But she couldn't find out. Not yet. She'd jeopardize everything with her emotions, her face that could be read as an open book. She would just rush into things when they needed to take it slow. So… she needed to rely on them, just for a little longer.
“Well, I’m older than you. The oldest needs to maintain some degree of privacy that the youngest isn’t privy too," Caleb crossed his arms.
“You’re so unfair!”
"I don't make the rules, Pip-squeak. That's just how it is."
"Xia Yizhou! Stop hiding behind that excuse!" she pointed a finger at him, eyes narrowed.
“Do you two ever stop arguing?” Zayne pinched the bridge of his nose.
“When no one else is around or involved," Caleb bit back. Yeah… the arguments only ever really started whenever Zayne was around, didn't they?
They finally reached the store. Caleb pushed open the door. It was just a small, local grocery store. Caleb thought it must have been one of the town's hidden gems, with how unique it was compared to other stores: hard-to-get niche brands, memboralia, and his personal favorite—
"Caleb, there's a garden behind this small store! Can you believe it? Look, these hydrangeas are so pretty," the girl gushed.
The back of the store ended in a stone arch that led out to bright, dusky light. It reminded him of an old chapel. Seeing something like this was rare in a world constantly growing with technology. Leaning over her pointed hand, his eyes adjusted to the light and made way to a garden filled with blues and violets. "Oh, I remember this particular species is called... endless summer."
"Huh? That's a weird name," the girl frowned.
"It's probably because the flower blooms for a long time. The name represents everyone's wish for a never-ending summer," Caleb whispered.
He may or may not have studied up on flowers… he couldn't have Zayne being more impressive than he was, after all.
Zayne stared hard at the flowers. "Never-ending summer…"
"Something wrong?"
"No, it's just…" Zayne shook his head. He smiled. "I hope we have a never-ending summer."
That was the most irrational thing he had ever heard from the stoic guy. The summer had just begun, but everything always came to an end. Nothing lasted forever. Nothing was strong enough to survive the end. But Caleb found himself nodding. "Yeah… me too."
He was the biggest hypocrite ever, because… he didn't want these days to end. He didn't want to lose anyone again.
As the girl tugged Zayne away, whispering in his ear, Caleb wandered into the garden, following along the smooth stone wall that extended from the store, dragging his hand across the surface. He stopped in front of a batch of endless summers. There was blue, purple… and a single white, growing different among the rest. Glancing back at the store, Caleb plucked each color.
"The more you have… the more you lose," a voice slithered into his ear, circling his neck. Caleb froze. He straightened up, the flowers wiggling in his hand.
"Don't lose focus. I trust you'll know what to do," a hand caressed his right shoulder, like a phantom. There and gone. Caleb looked. No one was there. An illusion.
Yet… the ropes tightening around his body felt very real. He clutched his neck, gasping as his vision narrowed. His sin… it was too much. He shook his head, swinging his arms, as if that would release the grasp.
He steadied his feet. Taking a deep breath, Caleb waltzed into the store again, ignoring the glare of the red eye at his back.
His steps faltered.
The girl was standing on her tip toes by the bookshelves. Her hands could barely reach the second shelf. Caleb took a step forward—
Zayne appeared behind her, his hand grabbing the book she had been looking for. When he turned back, his chin was close enough to bump her forehead. The both of them froze, as if stuck in time, their eyes meeting in a coy dance.
They looked… good, without him. Zayne obviously would've been the better choice.
Caleb clenched the flowers in his hand, his head buzzing. He strided over. "Are we ready to go?"
They both turned to him. Their faces flushed, guilty as charged. Zayne cleared his throat. "Everything alright? You look pale."
"Because I just saw something inappropriate," Caleb muttered. He glared at Zayne, pulling the girl away from him.
Zayne frowned. His eyes flickered to the garden. "Are you sure you're alright?"
"Peachy," Caleb said.
"What's that over there?" the girl moved to another shelf. She picked up a box with bright, bold colors mushed together—a flashy, ugly design. "Quirky?"
"Looks like candy. Want to try one?" Caleb sauntered over, leaving Zayne behind. "You might like it."
"I… would also like to try one," Zayne finally caught up, accepting the change in subject. Caleb took the box from her, giving them each a small wrapped candy. He read the box as they both popped one into their mouths.
Their faces simultaneously twisted.
"Bleh," the girl coughed, holding her throat. "What flavor is this? Caleb, you tricked us!"
"It tastes like… burnt toast," Zayne winced.
"That's better than mine…" the girl mumbled.
"You two just got unlucky. How could I possibly have known? At least you two were brave enough to grab them, not knowing what they were. That's an accomplishment," Caleb laughed. Finally, some proper revenge. "Hardly any of these ever get sold. They are notorious for their awful flavors. But sometimes you can get one that tastes good. They're all unique flavors."
From the corner of his eye, Caleb spotted the newest model plane kit he had been wanting. He picked it out, then headed to the register.
After wrapping up their shopping, they headed back home.
*****
The house was within their sights. Their steps slowed. Caleb wobbled.
"Gege, are you okay?" the girl rushed to his side, holding him up. He smiled at her.
"Yeah… it's been a while since you've called me that," Caleb sighed, leaning against her. He just had to keep remembering why he was doing all this. And then it would be all okay.
"I bet it's because his leg is killing him," Zayne mumbled. He shook the bag he paid for separately. "I bought some first aid stuff. I'll disinfect your wound. You shouldn't be exerting it so much."
Caleb groaned. "My leg is fine."
"You scraped it. Did you not notice?" Zayne shook his head. "I'm not interested in how you did it. Just let me help."
"Gege, how long ago did that happen?" the girl gazed at him with droopy eyes.
"…I saw it back when we were running," Zayne cleared his throat. "He probably got into another fight without us knowing."
"I'm the worst. I couldn't tell," the girl bit her lip.
"It's not your fault, Pip-squeak," he ruffled her hair.
"That's right. It's Caleb's for being a dummy," Zayne noted wisely. Caleb scowled.
They trudged up the steps.
A bark broke their squabbling, and they parted ways as a dog leaped up the stairs and jumped at the girl.
Caleb reached out, grabbing the dog by the scruff of its neck.
"Wait! Caleb, that's my friend!"
Caleb and Zayne froze. Caleb was so shocked that his fingers slipped through the coat and the dog barreled towards the girl again.
"A… stray?" Caleb blinked. "What about that girl?"
"Huh?" she frowned. "Which girl?"
"Nevermind," Zayne grabbed Caleb's shoulder, holding him back. His shoulders shook, a chuckle threatening to escape. Caleb glared at him, and he covered it with a cough. "Who's this little guy?"
"I don't know," the girl pinched her chin. "He just showed up one day. I feed him sometimes."
"How did I not know this?" Caleb frowned. "And what about our kitten? It's not safe."
"Because you never showed any interest until now. And it's fine. He never goes inside," the girl rolled her eyes. "I snuck some bread from the cafeteria. Want to help me feed him?"
The dog whimpered, its black eyes glistening.
"…I've never seen such an expression before," Zayne mumbled. He sidled next to the girl, cupping out his hand. She poured the bread crumbs into his palm. But when he approached the dog, the dog cowered back, snarling at them. Zayne slumped his shoulders.
"Don't worry, Zayne! This one is very fickle. He hasn't even warmed up to me yet," the girl glared at the dog. "He's just familiar with me, but he still keeps a moderate distance. I've never even seen him wag his tail."
"Is it rapid? Maybe it should be put on a leash instead," Caleb said. "A dog needs an owner, or it'll never trust anyone again."
Caleb dug his hands in the dog's fur, scratching it behind the ears.
The dog paused, giving a little whine. Then its tail began to wag, and it rolled onto its back, baring its stomach.
The girl sighed. "I should've known. Caleb always has a way of animals. I guess Zayne is too scary."
"Like recognizes like," Zayne pushed up his glasses. Caleb threw him a look. He snatched the crumbs from his hand, feeding it to the dog as he rubbed its belly. It gently lapped at his palm.
Caleb leaned towards the dog, whispering in its floppy ear. "That's right. You only come to me."
An animal friend was still a friend. He wasn't going to be replaced by a literal dog, of all things. Especially one that wasn't tamed and could attack at any moment. He needed to ensure its loyalty before anyone else.
Opening the door, they all settled inside the house. Zayne pulled out a chair from the table. He gestured to the seat. "Come on, Caleb. It's bleeding. You must have reopened it when you were running. It'll get infected if we don't take care of it right away."
"Yeah, yeah," Caleb waved his hand, sitting on the chair with a huff.
"…Thank you," Zayne whispered, kneeling at his feet, dabbing a washcloth with some water. He pressed it to his injured knee. "Why do you hate hospitals?"
"It's… too white," Caleb mumbled. Perhaps it should have stung, but he felt no pain. Zayne always had that effect on him. Caleb closed his eyes, letting the tranquility sift through his aching bones as Zayne treated his knee with a well practiced hand. Zayne's special skill. Usually it irritated him, felt intrusive, but… just for today, he welcomed it. Maybe he didn't always need to feel the pain and suffering. "Full of misery. Just be glad I'm letting you do this much. Don't get used to it."
It was only because she was worried about him, and he wanted to forget about the house he was in.
Zayne smiled. He had been doing that a lot more lately, hadn't he? A true expert who surpassed the master. It was distracting. "Should've eaten an apple."
As Zayne peeled the bandaid off the paper and rubbed it on his knee, the door opened again. Caleb's face fell, the tranquility broken.
"Oh, Zayne is here! How wonderful!" Josephine exclaimed. "You should've told me."
"It wasn't important," Caleb jerked his knee away, hopping off the chair.
"Well… I think it is," Josephine placed her hands on her hips. "Since he's here, I think now's a good idea to measure all of your heights. It looks like you all have had growth spurts."
Caleb scrunched his nose. "But why does Zayne need to be measured?"
"Because he's your friend," Josephine pointed out. "And don't you want something to remember Zayne by?"
The girl's eyes sparkled. "Yes! That's a good idea! We can do it from now on."
Caleb sucked in a breath. No. He didn't want anything to remember him by. Why did the woman always have to interfere?
But everything was already moving along, and he couldn't tell the girl no when she looked at him like that.
They each stood side by side. Josephine carved their heights onto the wall. Once done, the girl grabbed the marker and wrote "Zayne" under his line.
"That way, I'll never forget," she whispered. Zayne smiled at her. Caleb's heart twisted once again.
Zayne was the tallest. Was that what the girl liked? Caleb would be even taller than him one day. He'd make sure of it.
"You're still so short, Pip-squeak," Caleb remarked. "You can't even reach Zayne's line on your tip toes."
"Hey! I'm getting taller just like you! One day I'll catch up."
"I told you before, I'm the oldest. I'll always be taller than you. That's just how it is."
Yes, the girl was still always be behind him. They'll never truly be on the same level or see eye to eye.
But… seeing her grow up before him was unsettling. Back at the shelter, when they measured their heights… they first started with the elephant slide. But since the elephant slide was toppled over and not in tact, progress was limited. Insisting that was the reason why she wasn't growing any taller, they started measuring their heights on the tree instead. It was impossible to grow so much in a week, but Caleb indulged her, always putting the line above her head, a little bit higher each time, to satisfy her. Their whole relationship had always been built on secrets and lies.
But… time was truly progressing now. And it went by fast. Multiple seasons have passed, and Caleb didn't need to lie about her height anymore. She was growing up on her own. And she would keep growing. Until one day… this will all end.
"You three sit down while I'll make dinner," Josephine said, taking the marker from the girl. "To celebrate your last day of school."
"Let's make a fort!" the girl yelled. "We can watch TV and eat."
A few minutes later, they were all sitting underneath a temple of chairs draped with blankets, the TV on.
Caleb snuck two cans of soda from the fridge. Josephine had forbid them from having soda, something about being too young for that much sugar, but the girl always wanted to try it. He popped the lid and slid it to her. She gleefully took a sip, then handed it back to Caleb. Caleb took a sip of his own.
Zayne flinched. "That's not sanitary."
Caleb stared at Zayne as he sipped from the can. "Just drink yours then."
The TV flashed. The girl took back the can and pressed a finger to her lips, hushing them. "Ta-ta's Perfect Vacation is on!"
The opening sequence started with a shot of a plane flying over an island. The girl awed at it. "Look at the plane on TV! It's so cool. It flies really fast and zooms past the clouds."
Caleb squinted, his hands working on the model kit he just got. "It's the FY-26. Do you like it? I'll be piloting that plane in the future."
"That's some clever DAA advertising," Zayne mumbled. His can crackled as he sipped from his soda, probably using his Evol to keep it cold.
The girl frowned, tugging on Caleb's sleeve. "Will it take you away? Like swoosh and you're gone?"
"You're so silly, Pip-squeak. I'll bring you with me. We'll fly wherever and whenever you want," Caleb plucked at her fingers. "Just like I've always promised. Did you forget again?"
"Where would you even go?" Zayne asked.
"Hm… I want to go to…" she changed her gaze to the TV, pointing at the screen. "There! Cloudia Island! The perfect vacation!"
"Cloudia Island? It's just a TV show though," Zayne frowned. "It's not realistic."
"Who needs reality when you have your imagination?" Caleb said.
"…Imagination?" Zayne shook his head. "But what's so great about a fantasy that can never happen? Just make it into reality. Why pretend when actions are better than words?"
Ridiculous. Why should he turn to reality when it was always disappointing, when he already knew it could never deliver? Fantasies were harmless. Fantasies were limitless.
"You get used to the impossible with her. She once asked me to make 1,000 paper cranes for her."
"Which you still haven't done!" the girl sang-sung. "Zayne has a point! Let's go, let's go!"
"Should I help plan out the agenda?" Zayne offered.
Caleb looked at them. He listened to the TV drone on as Zayne and the girl planned out the trip. Was… making something real, truly so wrong? If they could actually make it happen, then… He fisted his hands. “Yeah… should we make another promise then? That we’ll always be together like this, even in the future. Nothing will tear us apart, and we’ll find a way to overcome all our problems and live in our paradise.”
No. It won’t matter… the world will end soon.
Dreams… would always stay dreams.
But if they stay dreams… then he could continue having these forbidden thoughts.
“Let’s pinky swear it this time… that we’ll always be friends, and nothing will pull us apart," the girl whispered with reverence, her eyes filled with longing. Caleb and Zayne glanced at each other.
They lifted their hands, giving their life to her and each other. They swore it, their pinkies entwined.
Even though… Caleb and Zayne knew better.
But that was all just part of the act, right?
Still… Caleb found himself wanting… just for once… for nothing to be an act.
Right before Zayne left, Caleb grabbed the flowers he had picked.
"Here," Caleb thrusted the blue flower at Zayne, and the white flower at the girl. "With these… nothing will change between us. Right?"
"Flowers always fall apart with time…" Zayne took the flower. He stared at the white one in the girl's hands. He smiled. They really have been rubbing off on him. "But… I'll take good care of it."
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Twelve: The Bloom
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
This chapter is based on Dusk to Autumn. I know this is supposed to take place in summer but for this fic it’s around May. Also yes they use spoons—I couldn’t figure out if spoons or chopsticks were preferred so let’s just say Zayne’s parents have spoons because of their time abroad.
Hello everyone! Another fast update! And you’ll be getting another one soon. I know I said I’d take a hiatus, but I actually don’t think that will be needed after all. I’ve been in the zone.
I have decided that this fanfic will be 15 chapters (and possibly an epilogue). I hope the pacing so far has been all right, but I can’t think of any other scenes to add that will benefit the story as a whole. So any other chapters I come up with will be bonus one-shots for now which I’ll be publishing immediately after this fic is over. I already have the majority of them planned out.
Revisions will happen after I finish this fic and catch up on game lore to help tighten any loose ends or plot holes. They will be taking place in between the bonus chapters. I do not plan on making any major changes—the revisions are simply to make my fic better and stronger. I’ll go more into detail about what revisions will be made closer to the end.
*****
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
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Zayne sat at the table, his fingers gliding above and under his tie. He glared at the offensive thing, then pulled the knot out and did everything again. The tie was still lopsided, the knot not right. He sighed, throwing his head back over the chair.
Maybe I should have just let him help me…
Zayne came straight from school. But he had been in such a rush, his uniform had gotten disheveled. When he opened the door like that, his father was on the other side. After a round of teasing, his father offered to fix his tie. Zayne still didn’t quite know how to tie it himself yet, another embarrassing fact he didn’t want to admit. He… may have snapped, and unceremoniously stomped away to sulk in his room. His father tried apologizing, but Zayne just… shut him out completely.
Whenever he saw his father, he saw those glowing eyes—consuming his mother, then himself. He saw his hand push through crystal, grip the heart, and squeeze. He saw the girl’s blood staining the snow.
His father had been called to work. When Zayne finally peeked his head out of his room, the house was empty. And he was still stuck a mess, with her due at any minute.
He smoothed down the wrinkles of his shirt once more.
The doorbell rang. He shot up from his chair, the force of it causing the chair to fall on its side. Cursing, Zayne quickly repositioned it. Petting his bangs, he shook his tie one final time and hurtled for the door. Holding his breath, he opened it.
And immediately let the breath out.
“Hi, Zayne!” the girl waved at him.
“‘Sup,” Caleb scanned Zayne up and down. “You’re still in uniform?”
The siblings were still wearing uniforms as well, but unlike him, they had an excuse. Caleb had basketball practice, something about being an athlete prodigy, and the girl said she'd come over when it ended. But Zayne didn't think that meant so would Caleb.
Zayne pressed himself closer to the door, heat rushing to his face. “What are you doing here?”
He was suddenly and fully aware that he had been paranoid about his appearance in front of her.
“Was the invitation not extended towards me? I’m hurt,” Caleb gasped. His hand clasped on the door, preventing Zayne from closing it all the way. “But I just had to come. Someone should supervise.”
Bullcrap. He just didn’t want them alone together. Zayne narrowed his eyes.
Wait. Why did he even care so much? What had he been expecting? Zayne turned on his heel, going back into his house without a word.
The two followed him inside. Caleb wandered over to a dresser with photo frames stacked on top. He picked one up, examining a toddler Zayne in a penguin suit, waddling after a real penguin in the snow. Zayne snatched the photo from him, putting it back down. Cackling, Caleb turned his gaze, his eye catching the garden outside. Various flowers draped the yard. He scrunched his nose. “So much… color.”
“My mom’s hobby,” Zayne cleared his throat. “She swears it drives all the negative emotions away, when she has a bad day at work. She collects seeds from all the countries she visits.”
“Does that mean you know a lot about flowers, Zayne?” the girl stood on her tip toes, poking her head between their shoulders. “What flower do you think I’d be?”
Zayne didn't actually know that much. He never understood the allure of flowers. They were just an extension of nature, fleeting yet abundant, and putting meaning behind any of it was a strange activity he had no interest in participating. But if he had to choose—
“…Jasmine.”
“What? I didn’t hear you.”
Zayne coughed. “Jasmine. You have a very rich, sweet scent that reminds me of one. Like a breath of fresh air."
The girl scrunched her nose. It was almost identical to Caleb. “I do?”
She lifted up her arm and sniffed. “But I don’t smell anything.”
“What kind of lame answer is that? Asiatic apples are cooler,” Caleb pushed her arm down. “Always bringing different colors to boring landscapes. Like apples in a dry garden. Safe and comforting."
“Asiatic apples?” Zayne frowned. “The weeping flowers? I thought they represented sadness and parting.”
“Only if you will it. The flowers may be sad, but they’re never alone, are they?"
Zayne studied them.
Last night, he had another peculiar dream. In this dream, there were several golden threads, but only one stood out to him. When he snatched it, he was led to a forest. The forest was filled with wilting flowers.
Zayne fixed his gaze back to the garden. “…The topmost bloom is the lowest point. Looking at it that way, the other blooms are… shielding the flower. Or desperate to reach after her. The flowers fall, but they are always reborn, in different places and different times. Nothing changes.”
Caleb turned white, as if he saw a ghost.
Zayne closed his eyes. "Why not… a Bingdi lotus instead?"
When Zayne followed the path of the fallen petals in his dream, he found himself at a lake. Peering down, a strange flower he had never seen before floated to him. But when he went to touch it, it vanished—as if he was never meant to look. A dream warning him to not pry where he cannot belong.
He had researched the flower as soon as he woke up.
Caleb never left the girl's side. Their bond was strong. When Zayne looked at them, he felt like one of the 100,000 flowers who grew alone, watching the lucky stem blossom the two buds.
Caleb blinked at him, his brow furrowing in confusion, his eyes flickering. “What…?”
“I saw it in a dream,” he amended.
“You… have dreams like that?” Caleb swayed, then shook his head. “I thought it was your awful attempt at poetry.”
“Doesn't everyone?" Zayne diverted the subject. "Do… you have dreams?”
“Sometimes. Nightmares,” Caleb said slowly. "Not images. Voices. Senses."
“I have nightmares too,” the girl piped up. “But I never remember them. They feel so far away."
Zayne hadn't been expecting any answers. He assumed he alone was suffering from this phenomenon. But… maybe he wasn't as alone as he thought he was.
“Guess that makes us all weird then,” Caleb mumbled.
“Do you… believe in reincarnation?” Zayne whispered. “I’ve been reading books. Some theories suggest dreams are portals to other lives.”
“A bunch of hogwash,” Caleb scoffed. He gnawed at his lip. “But… maybe there is something more. Who knows. Pilots discover something new in the tunnel everyday. I believe in possibilities."
“Yeah… I’m not one to believe in stuff like that either,” Zayne moved away, heading into the dining room. “Well, that’s not what we’re here for.”
Caleb spotted something else in the corner. "Is that… an electronic keyboard?”
"Zayne, you play instruments?" the girl squealed.
"No, I—"
"I bet he doesn't know anything beyond hot cross buns," Caleb smirked. "Just look at the dust on that thing."
"Anyways!" Zayne shouted over them. "I'm supposed to tutor you, not chit-chat."
Finally regaining their attention, Zayne had them sit at the table.
As the girl went through her book bag to pull out her homework for each subject, Zayne turned to Caleb.
"I don't get it. If you're so suspicious of me, how come you never tutor her?"
"There's a reason," Caleb leaned back in his chair casually, steepling his fingers on top his stomach. "You'll find out."
Zayne furrowed his brow. But a few minutes later, he was beginning to see why.
"No, you don't do that—"
"Ugh!" the girl threw down her pencil, pushing her chair back. "It's too hard. I give up!"
Zayne pressed the heel of his hands down on his eyes, his glasses askew, as he dragged out a sigh. It was like wrangling toddlers who threw tantrums at the hospital.
"Warned you," Caleb shook his head. "Unteachable. She doesn't understand a thing you say unless it has to do with hunting Wanderers."
Zayne swung his glasses back down on his face, jaw clenched. "No one is unteachable. It's just about finding the right method. We can keep trying—"
"Please, no more," the girl whined.
"There's a difference between being a genius and being an instructor," Caleb pointed out. "The two aren't mutually exclusive. And geniuses can't cure the stupid."
"Hey! I'm not stupid!" the girl slammed her hands on the table. "Just you wait, Caleb… I'll show you!"
"Pip-squeak, do you even know what the word 'Borborygmi' means?"
The girl blinked. "O-of course I do! It… it means... Uh…"
Caleb laughed, bending forwards, his hands holding his stomach.
"Caleb… don't be cruel," Zayne scolded, but he looked away, the corners of his own lips pulling up. He struggled to clamp his mouth shut.
"Hey, that's not fair! That's a big word! And it has nothing to do with third grade! What kind of word is that anyways? A foreign language?"
"It's the medical term for stomach growling," Zayne cleared his throat. "But I agree. I'm surprised Caleb knows that word, considering his fear of hospitals."
"Of course I know that word. Her stomach growls all the time. How can I not?"
Zayne slammed a fist over his chest.
"Make fun of me all you want. But Caleb is just as much of a dummy as I am. That's why he's still stuck in sixth grade instead of skipping ahead like Zayne."
"As if I even want to be like Zayne," Caleb shuddered.
"Yes, I've been meaning to ask that," Zayne closed his book. "Your intelligence is almost on par with mine. Yet, you haven't skipped a grade."
Caleb coughed. "Well, if I skip a grade, I'd have to go to another school, won't I? But I can't just leave her alone. She wouldn't survive without me. So, I stay behind, for her sake."
"That's not true! Caleb is top of his class, and he has excellent skills, but… he has a dense streak."
"Don't confuse me with yourself, Pip-squeak."
"Come on, be honest. You hate reading long blocks of text, so you don't do any homework that has it. Sometimes you don't follow instructions and do things your way instead of what the teacher wants. You keep getting penalties in basketball. Not to mention, you sneak out of class to check up on me, which has gotten you scolded several times. You only have not gotten expelled yet because Grandma pays everybody off."
"I understand pictures, not boring lines. And why should I have to follow archaeic methods when my modern methods are much more efficient? Rules are just a construct," Caleb listed each point off his hand. Then he paused, glancing at Zayne, that familiar gleam swirling in his eyes. He stared pointedly at the girl. "And I'm not the only one who skips class."
"Ahem. That's not the point," the girl cleared her throat.
Zayne blinked. "You… ditch?"
Her eyes widened, turning to Zayne. "Oh, no! Zayne, he's just exaggerating! I promise I don't actually skip…"
Caleb smirked, shrugging. "You always beg me to take you out for ice cream instead of taking a test."
The girl kicked Caleb's leg. She hissed, "Caleb! That was supposed to be a secret!"
"Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you wanted to seem studious in front of him," Caleb sighed. "Oh, well. It's not like we'll ever be on his level anyway. Clearly we're not cut out to be in the same classes. Guess he doesn't want to hang out with us anymore since we're not as oriented as him. Let's go, Pip-squeak."
Caleb urged her to get up, pushing her towards the door. A coldness washed over Zayne. He shot up from his seat. He took two long strides before he was around the table, clutching on the girl's arm, pulling her towards him. Caleb let out a growl, tugging her back.
"Caleb Xia. Just where do you think you're going with my pupil? We're not finished with the tutoring session. Sit back down," Zayne pulled away, looking Caleb up and down. "And for the record, I don't care what you do with yourselves. It's none of my business, and it's not like I'm the one ditching school."
Caleb ground his teeth. "Great."
"Although," Zayne said, pushing up his glasses. "You'd certainly never pass the character or psychological evaluations at the Aerospace Academy."
"Why would I need to pass that? My skill alone is enough."
Zayne sighed. "Just sit back down. And stop trying to distract us. I know what you're doing."
They sat back at the table. The rest of the tutoring session went smoothly, and by the end, the girl was complaining about hunger.
"I've exhausted all my energy on those questions," the girl slumped over the table.
Zayne looked outside. "It's getting late. But I can maybe make something…"
Caleb stood up. "I'll help. Let's go to the garden. You got a lot of vegetables and fruits in there, yeah?"
Zayne nodded. "But… I was thinking ice cream…"
"Is this your sweet tooth talking?"
"No. But you take her out for ice cream whenever she wants a break from school."
Was… that too obvious?
Caleb hummed. "Then… apple ice cream."
Zayne scrunched his nose. "Apple? Why? And how?"
"Because apples are tradition. And I've been exploring recipes," Caleb tugged on Zayne's arm. "She's asleep. We can also talk."
*****
Caleb and Zayne sat underneath the tree. The sun was setting, casting the yard into a sea of oranges and reds. The cicadas clacked their wings together while a woodpecker drilled into the tree above them.
Caleb used his Evol to lower the apples after Zayne warned him to not disturb the bird.
Zayne grabbed knives, showing Caleb how to skin the apple. They quietly shaved off red clippings.
"So…why do you like apples so much?"
"It's always been our thing. For as long as I can remember, she would give me offerings. At the shelter, we had nothing. But we talked about what we could get from outside. So I snuck an apple from the kitchen… to pay her back. That place was dull, but a single apple was enough to brighten it up," Caleb lifted his apple, turning it under the glow of the sun. "It stuck. Now she associates me with apples. Whenever we make a silly promise about what we want to do in the future, we eat apples to seal the deal."
Zayne looked down, squeezing his apple. "Some say apples symbolize forbidden knowledge."
Caleb gazed at Zayne, setting aside his apple. "Right. We need to talk. Before I forget."
"How did you know?" Zayne blurted out. "That he had a Protocore. Did you see something?"
"'See'?" Caleb blinked. Then laughed. "I don't see anything. I have a hard time seeing the differences between people. It's more like… a hazy fog. But I can feel. And some people feel more threatening than others. I've said before, I just have good gut instincts."
So, it wasn't the same sight Zayne occasionally experienced. Caleb… wasn't like Zayne. Zayne ignored the disappointment, slicing off a shaving. "You have… Prosopagnoisa? But you can see her just fine."
He couldn't have mistaken all the times Caleb deliberately sought her out. He always knew where to look. Like a compass.
"No… I just don't care enough to pay attention to others," Caleb said. "I don't like other people. They're all just faceless beasts to me. Pip-squeak says I have a problem. But if I actually try hard, I can see differences."
Well, that didn't help.
"Then what do you see when you look at me?"
Does he see who I really am, as well? Of course Caleb did. That's why Caleb hated him.
Caleb squinted, pretending to think. "Hm… green."
"Green?" Zayne didn't see green. He only saw black.
"Yeah… like a pear."
Zayne squeezed his eyes shut. "Not that again."
"Can you blame me? You're so gullible," Caleb pushed his shoulder. His face hardened. "Protocores…I think they're the answer."
"We've already discussed this. Protocores are the cause of this mess. It can't result in anything good."
"But are they really to blame? That guy had a point. Protocores aren't much different from Evols," Caleb frowned. "No, they can even do more than Evols… they're raw magic. If there's one out there that can save her… then I'll do whatever it takes to find it. We just gotta follow EVER's movements."
"We're just kids… how do we go about that?"
"We're not just kids," Caleb mumbled. “Don't you know by now? They’re after us because we’re not normal. We’re the special ones. We're loners, outcasted by society, which makes us perfect targets. And apparently… there’s more like us out there."
Zayne remembered the day before. The strange man who appeared and disappeared. “Are there… any obstacles to their plan? I imagine they have many enemies. Why not leave it to them?”
“We can’t wait that long,” Caleb shook his head. “And if they truly were, then they would’ve done something by now instead of just sitting on their high horses and watching us suffer, don’t you think?”
“Maybe they’re closer than we think. Blending in with the crowd… from other worlds, even. Wouldn’t that make sense? The DAA says there are signs of life beyond the tunnel.”
“Like aliens?” Caleb laughed. “Well, blending in has its perks… we’re gonna have to exploit from the inside, just like how they’re exploiting us.”
"…What if we fail? What if we can't stop what's happening? And then she—"
The air around them stirred. A vicious look entered Caleb's gaze. It almost felt like the black holes were extending beyond his eyes. "I won't let them. They think we're just a means to an end. Everyone looks down on us. They're not different from the bullies at school. But I'm going to show them. Show them that they can't mess with us. That we're not less—"
Zayne grabbed Caleb by the shoulders. His apple fell to the ground and rolled away. "Caleb, calm down."
Zayne noticed a pattern. Caleb lost control of his Evol whenever his negative emotions overwhelmed him. It got worse whenever he was in contact with the girl—a result of her own Evol, which could amplify and repel other Evols. But Caleb always held back, only spiraling when he was away from her, when his body couldn't take it anymore. His unconscious way of protecting her, probably.
…Just like that day. Zayne had felt it then, too. His Evol spiraling out of control. His power had been tugged out against his will, a single spark created by a point of unusual contact, until it burst.
That was the nature of the girl's Evol. Her resonance called out to them, begging to be released, wanting nothing but destruction. A gnawing hunger.
Was that what EVER was looking for? Children who could… channel that sort of energy? But for what purpose? And how did it relate to the Tunnel, the start of it all?
Zayne let out a breath, flakes of frost falling over Caleb. He could feel his own Evol losing it, the ice popping over his arms and neck. His vision was tunneling. But he pushed through. No. Not yet.
He trickled his Evol into Caleb. Just a little bit. The wind stilled, and Caleb's eyes went back to normal. Zayne's vision expanded, and the pressure was gone.
Caleb glared at Zayne, shrugging him off. "I hate that. That… calming effect of yours. It's creepy. I never asked for it."
Zayne blinked. "Calming… effect? I calm you?"
"No, you don't calm me. You piss me off," Caleb shoved him away. "I don't understand what she sees in you. Why she feels so relaxed around you. When I can only…"
"Doesn't she feel more relaxed around you than me?" Zayne tilted his head.
"No, it's different with you. She…" he gestured around his face. "Gets all like that."
Is she sick? Maybe she was still nervous around him. Zayne furrowed his brow. "I'm sure it'll pass. It's just a phase. She'll move on by the time summer comes rolling around."
When I'm gone. His heart twisted. Yes, she would forget him again.
"Just a phase? No, you don't get it," Caleb shook his head. He gulped, then picked up his apple. "Nevermind. Keep that to yourself. I guess… it can be useful at times."
"Useful?" Zayne didn't like the calculative look in Caleb's eyes, analyzing his worth.
"You're gonna be a doctor, aren't you?" Caleb gestured at him with the apple. "But I don't plan on making doctor visits to you. Just so you know. And once she gets better…"
"Then stop being reckless."
"Don't worry. I'm cursed to live. I can't die. Not before I prove myself."
There he went again, acting mysterious. Caleb often had these weird bouts… like he knew more than he was letting on, like he was thousands of years old instead of eleven. "Why do you need me anyways? I thought you didn't want any help. I thought you hated me."
Caleb clipped at his apple. "Well… I figured out, people like us… we can get lonely. And… if anything happens—"
His next words were drowned out by the wind. The screen door slammed open, and the girl came rushing out.
"You guys were hanging without me?"
"You were asleep, Pip-squeak," Caleb said, reaching out for her, forgetting about Zayne. "We didn't want to wake you."
"Zayne, your parents are back," the girl said, twisting in Caleb's grip to look at him. "They said they'll show us more pictures!"
Oh no. Zayne paled.
*****
"Is that why you hate carrots?" Caleb smirked. "So would I, if I had to wear that every day."
Zayne groaned. "Mom…"
She was showing them pictures of his childhood. Pictures of when his parents had forced him to wear an oversized hoodie with an angry carrot design for his first few years at school. The girl was particularly obsessed with a photo of when he was five.
"Aw, look at Zaynie and his cute little cat paws!" she gushed. "Can you make the same pose?"
Zayne scowled. "No."
"…You really are just like a black cat," she huffed.
"This one is my favorite," his mother sighed. "Two years ago, Zayne and his father went to a pumpkin patch for some father-son bonding time. They haven't been as close lately…"
The girl peeked at the phone. "I wanted to ask… why is Mr. Ju an orange on your phone?"
"Oh…that's an inside joke. Jace's Chinese name means orange," Zayne's mother chuckled.
"Just like how Li means pear? A family of fruit?" Caleb asked smugly. Zayne rolled his eyes. Caleb continued, "Why is Zayne's surname Li anyway? Shouldn't it be Ju?"
"Well… you two don't have the same surname. It's something like that," his mother finally turned off the phone. "It was more-so a coincidence that my surname was the same as Zayne's. Although we always keep it simple and just say I'm the moneymaker in this household."
"Don't disagree with her on that one," Zayne's father laughed.
Zayne looked at his parents. Seeing the photos, and how his parents used to be younger… they really have given up a lot to raise him. And who knew how much more time he had left? As the days passed by, and the seasons changed… it was getting closer to the deadline, the deadline where he would lose everything.
He had already almost lost something once. Zayne knew by now that these things should be cherished more. That nothing was better than the present.
"Mom, Dad…" Zayne said. "It's getting late. And it's a weekend. Shouldn't they just spend the night?"
His parents looked at each other. Then clapped their hands. "Yes, that's an excellent idea! We'll help you make the ice cream. I heard that tonight is supposed to be beautiful for stargazing."
Zayne smiled. "And… maybe we can do something later as a family, together."
*****
"Hm… this reminds me of the shelter," the girl said.
They were sitting down on a blanket that Zayne's parents had set for them in the grass, picking away from their bowls of ice cream while gazing at the stars.
"The star gazing?" Caleb said, his spoon in mouth. He swallowed. "Yeah… we haven't done this in a while."
The girl shook her head. "No, not just that… The taste of apple makes me think about how happy we were back then. About the hope we had for the future. We've been missing that."
"Yeah… I guess we have," Caleb looked at the sky. "Man, we're just full of coincidences, huh? Maybe it really must be fate."
The breeze caressed their faces. The girl leaned forward, a strand of her hair falling onto Zayne's shoulder. He twisted his body, their noses almost touching. A dollop of ice cream rested on the top. Was she always this messy of an eater? Unconsciously, Zayne reached his hand out, swiping the spot away. The girl blinked at him.
For a moment, Zayne swore the strands of her hair turned red. The strands floated endlessly from her body, but three of them stuck out on end, twisting together. They reminded him of the strings of fate. He had seen this once before, the day they met. But where would those tangled strings lead? And how many paths were yet to be uncovered?
One of the strands seemed to point towards him, twirling around his finger. But the other extended past him—
Caleb grabbed his arm, and the strands fell back, fading back into her hair. Caleb let go, as if burned. Twisting his body to the side, Caleb pulled his green messenger bag onto his lap. "Hey, I still got those apple drawings. Should I show Zayne?"
"What? Caleb, no!" the girl lunged over, trying to snatch the bag from him. Caleb held it high above his head where she couldn't reach.
"Why not? We saw Zayne's photos. I think it's only fair. Plus, they're precious to me. That's why I still have them after all this time."
Zayne grunted. His stomach flipped, and he wondered if he may have eaten something bad.
Caleb kept everything he saw as vital in that bag. He pulled out two papers. One of them was scratched with crisp green lines in the shape of an apple. The other was a bunch of red scribbles, meant to be smaller than the other. "Caleb" was written around it, the letters far apart and lopsided.
"This is when we trying to figure out what apples looked like. When I made fun of her sketch, she claimed it only looked ugly because it was supposed to be me," Caleb laughed. "And that's how that all started."
Zayne devoured the pages, evidence of a life before him. Or perhaps they did this when he had also been there, none the wiser. If he had been more interested, if he had found the courage to speak to her earlier… would he have been drawing apples with them?
What was the point of these coincidences if he never acted upon them?
Zayne shoved a scoop of his ice cream into his mouth. The sweet taste washed away all his regrets. "Maybe… next time you're over, I can give you a full course on Wanderers. Something you're more familiar with."
"Did you forget what happened the last time we did that?" Caleb mimicked the slingshot with his spoon, swinging it in the air.
"I've… gotten better," Zayne insisted. It was true. Ever since that day, he realized he needed to take those training classes more seriously. He may still need work on controlling his Evol, but at the very least, he knew the basics of dodging and combat… and the weak points of certain Wanderers. He didn't know how much he could show her with her own skill level, but maybe… he could make for a more appropriate rival.
And well, the glasses did help. Caleb had a point there.
"Mm, I'll be the judge of that," Caleb sucked on his spoon. He popped it out when something flew by in the sky. "Hey, that looks like the D-37, the newest model at the DAA."
"You have to be an expert on planes to tell from that far away," Zayne said.
"When I like something, I really fixate on it."
"3… 7… lucky numbers!" the girl held her hands up. "Don't you think they fit us perfectly? Caleb's right. We keep finding coincidences. We must be blessed by the gods."
Zayne looked at his ice cream. "Maybe it really is the apple. It's a good luck charm. Full of peace."
Caleb and the girl looked at each other.
"That was… a very terrible joke," the girl giggled.
Zayne blinked. "I thought it was funny."
Wasn't the point of jokes to be witty? And he was only copying what they always did.
Apple, if said a certain way, can be mistaken for the word "peace."
From the distance, Zayne heard the constant clicks of his parents snapping photos of them from inside the house. He sighed, digging back into his ice cream.
"…You said I hated you," Caleb whispered.
Zayne paused, but didn't say anything.
"Well…I did. But we have something in common now. So this is a promise," Caleb grumbled. “…We’re friends."
Zayne dropped his spoon. Did he hear that right?
“Friends? We are?” Zayne asked, unable to resist the grin that was forming on his face.
“Yeah, you’ve earned it," Caleb glanced at Zayne and scowled, hitting his arm with his spoon. “Don’t act so smug over it. It’s not that big of a deal.”
But it was. It wasn't easy breaking down Caleb's walls, when he was always so rough around the edges, even now. Zayne grinned wider. He grinned so wide that his cheeks hurt. He didn't think he ever grinned this wide before, and so naturally.
If only he could protect this friendship forever.
Zayne found himself no longer wanting to leave. Maybe… he could convince his parents to wait another year? If he could prove his Evol is under control now…
Surely he was allowed this one indulgent thought.
"Are we really friends now…?" the girl widened her eyes. Clasping her hands with Zayne's and Caleb's—locking them together—she looked at them expectanctly, shaking their connection. "I've never seen Caleb admit to having friends before! This is huge!"
"Don't ruin the mood, Pip-squeak," Caleb winced.
Zayne coughed. "Well, since we're friends…"
"I should take you all to meet my other friend! This is so exciting..."
Now it was Caleb's turn to drop his spoon. A heavy silence descended upon them.
"I…I thought you said you were being bullied and had no friends…" Zayne cleared his throat. Then cringed. That didn't sound right, did it?
Friendships weren't meant to be exclusive. He should probably be happy for her… but, well… he thought he would've been her first friend, like she was his… and at least for a while…
Caleb clenched his fists. "Hold up… how am I just now finding out about this? And why does Zayne know about your school life more than I do?"
"I figured you'd already know," Zayne stared at him.
"I… I somehow must have overlooked…" Caleb bit his lip. "Who is it? And do they… do they make you smile?"
The girl laughed. "No stealing away my friend, you big meanie! You'll just have to see for yourself."
Caleb leaned to Zayne, whispering. "We have to find out who that is."
"Why you dragging me into this?"
"Because I know you want to know as well," Caleb's eyes glimmered. "And I need my revenge. Why did she confide in you but not me?"
Zayne sighed. Just what he had gotten himself entangled with? The hot air was filled with various emotions. But for the first time in a long time…
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Eleven: The Exam
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
Hello! More plot things. I really do hope this all makes sense. I finished this chapter super fast, so I can’t help but feel it’s lacking. As I’ve said already, I will be sure to revise any plot holes or confusing plot points once I finish the fic (if I did those now, I’ll never finish the story). So please bear with any first draft problems. I still got lots of fleshing out to do.
I may be taking a hiatus again. I don’t have a clue on how the next couple chapters are gonna go besides the ending, and I want to make an outline so the pacing doesn’t get all weird and I can wrap up nicely. In fact… we may be nearing the end soon. My original goal was 20-30 chapters, but with the current flow, it may be less than 20 (I don’t want it to drag). But if you have any requests on what you’d like to see in this fic before it ends, feel free to let me know and I’ll see if I can include it. If it doesn’t fit, they might still make their way into a series of bonus chapters I’m planning once this fic ends! These bonus chapters will be a collection of scenes that I couldn’t fit into my fic (or scenes I didn’t include because of late lore reveals), scenes from Caleb’s and MC’s high school days, Zayne’s college days, Caleb and MC reuniting with Zayne as adults, and Caleb during his first days as colonel.
I also want some time to catch up on LaDs lore so that way I don’t miss any opportunities to include parallels or references (and to make sure I’m still following the plot as closely as I can without taking the creative liberties into account).
Once I’m done with this fic, I plan on expanding my writing. There are a few fanfic contests coming up I wish to participate in, and I was considering eventually taking on general requests and commissions. I actually have a few fics in mind after this as well— a Sylus and MC backstory centered on the arena as children, a few personal fun and smutty one-shots, and a longer reverse harem fic that covers the main story and is a sequel to my backstory fics.
*****
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
#####
Zayne lifted his face to the sky. The sun was absolutely blinding, casting the courtyard in a dusty, pale yellow glow.
A squirrel scampered across the lawn, trailing behind nuts that couldn’t fit entirely in its tiny grasp. It stopped at a tree, then zig zagged up the trunk, twirling around a branch. It shoved the nuts into its mouth.
Zayne took a step toward the critter—
“Bzzt, rodents carry diseases. It is recommended to not touch them.”
Zayne stared down the flying orb that hovered by his face, flashing a warning signal. Dr. Fang fought the board for so long against robotic help, but eventually he could no longer deny the beneficial possibilities, so robots gradually made their way into the hospital. Assistants, surgical tools, entertainment.
Robots could never replicate humans. They were factual, but incapable of nuance. They drew a hard line between everything. Maybe one day, the division they cause would be enough to reduce the need of humanity and nature.
Zayne wasn’t any different from a robot.
“Zayne? Why are you so early? You came without your parents?”
Zayne turned to Dr. Fang, who came running out from the corridor.
“I’ve gotten used to public transportation. Besides, my parents are busy with preparations.”
It wasn’t a lie, but… Zayne was hiding from his parents. He had another nightmare, and it had been more vivid than the others. Like he was living an entire life in a world that was similar to his own, but also not. This world was bleak, on the verge of collapse, with no life on the streets, and robots filling the void of humanity. Zayne flitted through damp alleys, always in search of something. And when he finally found it… it was always the same case as before. Dark crystals crawling towards trembling figures—
Zayne rubbed his arms. Some days, his nightmares were symbolic, ambiguous. He couldn’t make sense of them. But on days like last night, he couldn’t tell anymore which world was his. He couldn’t look his parents in the eye, when the last memory he had of them was covered in blood. The images overlapped too much, like he was seeing something that wasn’t there, yet to be revealed to the surface, and that looking would only exacerbate that. What if the dreams were prophetic, and he messed up again? He wasn’t usually one to believe in stuff like that, but the past few months have been so bizarre and life altering that he couldn’t fully put it aside. These dreams were telling him something. A matter he would need to investigate eventually.
“Hm, so you’re really moving then… a shame. I know it was our suggestion, but won’t you regret not spending more time with your childhood?”
“We all need to grow up at some point.”
“We’re just worried about you. Your parents are always talking about how you’re growing up too fast,” Dr. Fang ruffled Zayne’s head.
Zayne jerked away from him. He couldn’t rely on his parents forever. He would need to carve his own path soon. And he couldn’t stand the sad gazes they gave him. It twisted his gut, making him choke on his words. He didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Didn’t want to hurt anyone. Distance was required.
“Anyways, come with me. We have another check up with Josephine’s girl. You arrived early because you wanted to see her, right?”
Oh… was that today?
Zayne’s heart thudded in his chest. He both feared and anticipated his meetings with the girl. He never felt more childish and out of control in his entire life. He disliked it. But also not. He couldn’t wrap his head around his clashing feelings.
Zayne trailed after Dr. Fang back into the long white halls, abandoning the green scenery of the courtyard at his back.
*****
“Zayne! We’re here!”
Zayne looked up from the medical textbook he was reading. Studying wasn’t unusual for him, but before meeting the girl, it had just been a mere obligation. He skimmed through the pages, not spending any more time on a passage than the other. But now his eyes soaked up each word, numerous annotations dotting each line. The pages were dogeared several times over, and a crumpled sticky note fluttered to the ground.
He swallowed. The sunlight hit her figure and enveloped her in a halo, reminding him of a painting in a museum. Gazing at the girl, his heart raced uncomfortably. His hands twitched, needing to be occupied with something, anything. He was still trying to understand this…newfound desire. That’s what it was, right? Passion. Motivation. It burned through his veins, aching to escape. He didn't know it felt so… chaotic, disorganized. But there was strange freedom within that chaos. The idea that, if only he could release it, achieve it, he would be so much lighter. It made him wonder why he ever tried suppressing it, when it felt so much better to rebel.
“Zayne, you wear glasses?” her voice took him from his thoughts.
Zayne brought his hand to his face, pushing them up his nose. He refused to wear them for so long out of embarrassment… but his parents kept insisting. And eventually, he caved.
He wore the glasses during class to see the smart boards from a distance. Since he didn’t often need to see far away, Zayne kept the usage minimal. However, he sometimes brought them to the hospital, just to ensure accurate vision so he did not miss a thing.
“Ah, so that’s why you couldn’t dodge the balls, four eyes?” Caleb taunted, stepping from behind the girl, ever her shadow. His hand was interlinked with hers. Zayne stared at the union.
“I’m surprised you remember that,” Zayne said coldly, turning back to his book.
“I remember many things, when it counts,” Caleb grinned. “Like how you ran from the pet shop.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Zayne lifted the book higher, concealing his face as heat creeped up his neck. “That must be a misunderstanding. But I do often frequent the bookstore. I believe there is a pet shop on the way. Perhaps you just caught me as I was going there.”
“Ah. Wrong turn, was it?” Caleb nodded sagely. “Sure, sure.”
It wasn’t entirely inaccurate. He did take a wrong turn when he first stumbled upon the pet shop. It had been pure coincidence. Until it no longer was. But Caleb didn’t need to know that.
Zayne cleared his throat. “What are you even doing here? You don’t like doctors and always decline consultations.”
Caleb fluttered his eyelashes, placing his free hand over his heart. “I’m only acting like a proper older brother as I promised. Is that against the rules? She’s a total spaz without me. I have to tag along to make sure nothing happens.”
“I could…”
“Children, children, settle down,” Dr. Fang knocked on the doorframe, swinging into the room. He glanced at Zayne, quirking an eyebrow. “Again? The Secrets of Cardiology?”
Zayne closed the book, sliding it into his bag. He straightened his back. “I’ve developed an interest.”
“Well, that much is obvious. It’s not like you to have an interest in anything,” he glanced at the girl, a smile tugging at his lips. “Ana, sit on the table. Don’t be shy now. This isn’t your first rodeo and won’t be your last.”
The girl shuffled to the table only after Caleb had pushed at her back. She kicked her legs, her feet inches from the floor. Dr. Fang moved around the room, setting up the equipment. Zayne stood by the girl, her legs grazing his thigh with each uplift. A shudder went through his body. Zayne shifted his feet, putting distance between them, but the girl tugged on his arm, pulling him close. She pointed to her lips, eyes sparkling. Unable to deny her, he bent down, leaning his ear towards her.
“Zayne! About the ‘Account Book’ you told me to make…” she whispered, shielding her face from Caleb.
She meant the advice he had given her a week ago after she kept complaining about Caleb not doing things for her. It was mainly a joke to get back at Caleb. He never expected her to actually do it. “Yes, what about it?”
“You’re a genius! It’s been really helpful.”
Zayne snuck a peek at Caleb, who was watching them intently. He leaned even closer to the girl, his legs caging hers, locking together as if sharing a secret. “It has? Let me see.”
The girl looked back, but Caleb had removed his gaze to the side, arms crossed. The coast clear, she rummaged in her bag and pulled out a small leather bound notebook. Zayne took it, flipping through the charted pages.
He blanched. “It’s full already?”
She pouted. Her puffed cheeks reminded him of that squirrel in the courtyard. “Yeah, he’s been a real meanie ever since school started.”
“Most of these are about him not doing your homework…” Zayne trailed off. He blinked, then laughed. He couldn’t help it. It was a breathy chuckle that fanned her cheek. She stared at him, memorized.
“Ahem. Are you really struggling with your homework? I can tutor you in his place,” Zayne whispered.
“Really? You… want to tutor me?” her eyes widened.
“Yes, I—” something smacked Zayne in the face. He rubbed his cheek, turning his head. Caleb was staring at him, his hand in the air. He shoved it into his hoodie pocket and looked away again, whistling.
The plane made from a medical newsletter fell to the ground.
“Caleb!” the girl scolded.
“What? He was too close,” Caleb whipped his head, defensive. “Why do you two have to whisper?”
“Maybe if you weren’t so picky…” the girl stuck her tongue at him. “Zayne is way nicer than you.”
Caleb narrowed his eyes. “What happened to him being scary? You told me I was the best before coming here.”
“Alright, enough,” Dr. Fang sighed, clapping his hands. “Let’s begin with the examination now.”
The routine was standard. Dr. Fang first examined her with a stethoscope, beckoning Zayne to listen in. Then he switched to the ultrasound, asking Zayne to read off the results of the monitor. Praising Zayne for his analysis as always, he grabbed the girl’s arm, clicking some buttons on the watch around her wrist. He frowned, stroking his chin.
“Your heart seems to be straining… have you been using your Evol lately?”
Caleb clawed at his knees with his nails, lowering his head.
Interesting.
“I only use it sometimes…” she mumbled.
Zayne pushed his way through, peering down at the watch. Dr. Fang had pulled up the last few tests in her history, spiky lines followed by flat.
“These energy charts suggest you’ve been using it more than just ‘sometimes,’” Zayne clicked his tongue. “What have I told you? Too much Evol worsens your condition. You need to monitor yourself more. Stop having people leech off you.”
Zayne stared pointedly at Caleb.
“Who’s leeching off of who?” Caleb muttered, quiet enough where she couldn’t hear. But Zayne had picked up on it.
She clearly used her Evol to help him in some way. Knowing how erratic Caleb got, it was no small amount.
…At this rate, it was only a matter of time before a repeat of that day would happen because of them.
The girl blinked at Zayne. She looked back and forth between him and Dr. Fang, her cheeks growing paler by the second. Then threw her head back with a groan. “Oh no, there’s two of them now.”
“It’s quite a miracle. Zayne has always been exceptional, but he never showed real interest. I was starting to think we were too hard on him. Now, he’s taking it seriously. I have to thank whoever gave him this sudden passion,” Dr. Fang smiled at Zayne. Zayne’s cheeks flushed at the praise.
“Maybe you’re the one who inspired me,” Zayne mumbled.
“Or someone else did,” Dr. Fang mused, looking at the girl.
“Yes, well, it’s nothing special,” Zayne cleared his throat, busying himself with putting away the equipment. Dr. Fang chuckled.
“Who is it?” the girl frowned. Zayne’s eyes widened.
“Who knows? Could be anyone,” Dr. Fang shrugged, but there was a teasing crinkle in his eye. “You heard the boy. I’ll prescribe you a higher dose stabilizer today so your energy levels can go back down."
When the girl groaned again, Zayne nodded. “It’s for your benefit. You wouldn’t have to come here so much if you regulated your heart better.”
Dr. Fang turned his attention to Caleb.
“Since you’re here, Caleb, shall I check on you? Josephine mentioned you’ve been complaining about nerve issues. It might be serious, if your arm and head are bothering you—”
“No, thanks. I can deal with it on my own. You just focus on my little sister,” Caleb wrapped an arm around the girl, helping her off the table.
“Don’t be stupid. You can’t tough out everything,” Zayne scowled.
“He never listens to us,” the girl sighed, leaning her head against Caleb’s chest.
“I listen to you, Pip-squeak. But I’m not so weak where you need to worry about me. What kind of older brother would that make me?”
“Well, it can’t be helped. But do come to me if it gets unbearable,” Dr. Fang patted Caleb’s head. Caleb grimaced. Dr. Fang straightened himself and shook out his coat. “If that’s all, I have some time before my next appointment. You three can stay here and chat until I have to kick you out. I’ll let Josephine know.”
The door slammed shut behind him.
*****
Zayne wandered the expansive white halls, his heels smacking the sleek tile. It was oddly quiet today.
He couldn’t stay in the cramped office. He was suffocating—two pairs of eyes on him, one expecting, the other venomous, draining him dry. He once again fled in a hurry. Was he destined to flee forever? How long could he flee before he couldn’t anymore?
He sighed. Before he knew it, he was already heading in the direction of the person he always went to when he was feeling lost, who could provide him guidance.
But as he neared the general office, the voice he had been seeking gave him pause.
“If you’re not here for an appointment, I have to ask you to leave. You are disturbing the patients and staff.”
Dr. Fang’s voice was clipped, when Zayne had only ever known him as placating.
“Dr. Fang, you’re making a big mistake,” an unfamiliar voice coolly replied. “You fail to understand the power within your hands. If raised right, you can mold the power at your disposal to a very useful tool that can make or break the world! We just need him on our side.”
“He’s a child. Not one of your experiments.”
“You know as well as we do that he’s not just any child. That’s why you went to the Arctic. It’s what our research is about.”
“Leave. Now. While I’m still asking nicely. Or I’ll have to call security.”
Zayne flinched. Dr. Fang never shouted. Not even when he knew what Zayne had done that day. It went against his policy. Zayne frowned, piecing the bits he caught from the conversation so far. But none of it was making sense. He knew Dr. Fang went to the Arctic, but he never fully said what happened, other than that he had seen things… things similar to that day. What exactly was in the Arctic? His confusion only grew. Were they… talking about him? But what did that have to do with him and Dr. Fang's research? He couldn’t be sure.
“…Everyone trusts us now. They expect us to lead them into the future with our world changing technological developments and our contribution to space that puts NASA to shame. We have entered a new industrial era, and soon… we will enter a new world, born from this one’s ashes, with us at its center,” the other voice said reverently. Then the tone changed, coming out as a dark hiss, “You are aware of what awaits us. Can you truly say you won’t regret it? That you won’t feel guilt? You’re going to risk all our hard work over some last minute morals? When the world ends because he couldn’t be tamed, that’s on your hands.”
Dr. Fang was silent for a moment. “A child isn’t capable of the destruction you speak. He will grow as a child. Nothing more. They don’t deserve to be dragged into our mess. That’s our responsibility as adults.”
“But children are the key,” the voice said smugly. “Thanks to Unicorn, we’ve discovered the path to success… numerous children with hidden potential, special abilities. If we find all the ones with compatible DNA and Evols… we will be unstoppable. With them under our complete control, a disaster will become nothing. They are the team who will lead us into the bright future!”
“…I’m not an idiot,” Dr. Fang snapped. “In the beginning, you only ever failed. And each failure brought complications. These Wanderers look awfully similar to those complications, don’t you think? It’s convenient how you are suddenly now profiting from all of this. Just what are you trying to achieve with these Protocores you created? You think you can replicate that?”
“It’s interesting, isn’t it? How Protocores work. They’re the raw and primal source of Evols, but yet they work just like magic. However, we are told to believe magic is fiction. But that’s what they said about the Lemurians. If one legend we’ve been told was a lie got revealed as the truth… just how many legends are real?” the voice mused. “You better make a decision soon, Dr. Fang. Before that boy you are so fond of brings us destruction. It’s only a matter of time until he awakens when he’s not on a leash. So what side will you be on? It would be a shame if you became another statistic like Gaia. You’ve heard the news, I’m sure.”
Something struck Zayne's head, his vision flickering. For a brief moment, Zayne was no longer standing on sleek tile, but surrounded by gravel, with white walls fading into dilapidated stone, and water pooling at his feet. When he leaned closer to the puddle, searching for his reflection, he was back at the hospital. Somehow, he just knew. That was all he needed. It was him.
Zayne paled. He had seen the reports just like everybody else. Scattered explosions, a string of deaths and missing cases that seemed all connected… almost as if someone was behind the scenes. Conspiracy theorists linked this to the reveal and disappearance of Lemurians… the long hidden sea culture that had been abandoned. Zayne had thought the notion ridiculous. But the timing of it all… what were they doing?
“Ha, your threats don’t scare me. Those experiments will continue to be pointless because you can’t replicate perfection twice. Years of history will teach you that. And your Lemurian research has gotten you nowhere. That’s why the seeker and provider died. That’s why you keep creating Wanderers instead of humans.”
Zayne stumbled, covering his mouth so as to not get caught. What did he just hear…?
“The boy… he is frequented by two other children, yes? Siblings. You think we wouldn’t notice? We have eyes everywhere. They make a rather curious pair, don’t you think?” the voice said pleasantly. “Fate is an interesting thing. It brings everyone together to a particular moment in time, a milestone of a branch that’s destined to happen. It’s inevitable. It serves a purpose. And it can be used.”
Boy and girl? Siblings? Only two people came to mind. The ones who have been at the scene of every weird turn in his life. Everything always came back to them. The Catastrophe. His nightmares. Protocore syndrome. Sentient eyes glowing in a crystal cave. Just who were those two? And what did they drag him into?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Dr. Fang said stiffly. “We’re at a hospital. There are several boys and girls. The children you speak of can be anyone, and they still won’t be the ones you’re looking for. Don’t be a lunatic. The bodies were already uncovered in the explosion that day. The explosion you created. Another one of your failures.”
That day… they couldn’t possibly mean… that was planned?
“But that’s where you're wrong, old friend. Our failures have only presented us with new information. We have gotten close, and we’re getting even closer. You just need to make sure that boy stays in line, until the right moment arrives. We’ve come too far for it all to go to waste. Just think about what I’ve said. We're making history. I expect you’ll choose wisely in the end, if you value your life.”
A man exited the office. He adjusted the collar of his suit, giving out a long sigh as he shut the door behind him.
Normally, Zayne wouldn’t have been able to see that far, but thanks to his glasses, he was able to take note of the symbol that was embedded onto the man's breast pocket. He squinted his eyes.
It… looked like the symbol Josephine wore. He had seen it a few times. Embedded on her lab coat when he first saw her, and then again when he snuck a peek at the cover of the notebook she wrote in after dinners. As if she was still actively conducting… experiments.
Sound deafened as blood rushed into his ears, the thud of his heart overpowering everything else. Could it be… was this all still just an experiment? Even his parents and Dr. Fang…
Hands grabbed at Zayne’s shoulders. Before he could scream, the hands slid up to his mouth, and he was pulled into an empty room. Just in time—footsteps faded from the other side of the door. If he had remained a second longer, he would’ve been spotted.
The hands let go of his mouth. “Just what do you think you’re doing? You have a death wish or something?”
Zayne released a breath of relief. Oh. It was just Caleb.
Wait, was that really a relief?
“She wanted to go after you, you know. She wouldn’t shut up about it. But she’d only get lost if she went by herself. I went looking for you despite all my doubts because I didn’t want her to worry, but I should’ve just trusted my gut,” Caleb rolled his eyes. “If I had known you were getting yourself into something dangerous, I would’ve just left you for dead.”
“Then why even bother saving me?” Zayne wiped his mouth, trembling. What was that?
“It wouldn’t be good for me either if you got caught,” Caleb sneered. “I knew something was up since the moment we met.”
Zayne pressed a hand over his chest. His breath was ragged, his heart still beating erratically. He heard something he shouldn’t have. If only he could go back to a few minutes ago… if only he had stayed in the room…
Fate. That’s what the man said. Was it really fate? Was this all part of some grand plan? His dreams had hinted at something similar before, hadn’t they? A loop, they called it. A routine set of events destined to happen over and over again, impossible to prevent.
“So… you’re going to end us, is that it?”
His accusation brought Zayne out of the fog. He lowered his hand, straightening his back. “W-we don’t know that. They never said that was me. Dr. Fang said that could be anyone.”
“You’re the only boy who follows him around that he’s fond of,” Caleb raised an eyebrow. He stepped closer. Zayne stepped back, hitting a wall. Caleb lowered his voice. “Well, are you?”
Looking into Caleb’s eyes, Zayne saw entire galaxies. Each galaxy burned until they exploded, disintegrating into mist. The mist was like a wall, an endless void that approached closer and closer, inescapable. It kept going until there was nothing left, golden threads snapped and collapsed into dust. Forgotten and lost to time. And at the center of it all was his reflection, a black coat billowing behind him, extending its tails like shadows embracing death. The grim reaper. Total destruction. The end of the world.
Zayne blinked. “…I’ve decided. I’m going to be a doctor. I’ll save people. It can’t be me.”
Caleb scoffed. “Don’t be naive. A killing machine can’t be a doctor.”
“…I’m not a killer.”
“But you almost were,” Caleb tilted his head. “And you’re destined to be. Well, I won’t let you.”
“Huh?”
“I said I won’t let you. Don’t get me wrong. I couldn’t care less about this world. It’s as good as dead, if you ask me. You can destroy it all you want… but she’s in this world. And that complicates things. If you ever go berserk again… I’ll stop you. So don’t worry.”
Zayne laughed dryly, shaking his head. “This is… this is bigger than me. I want nothing to do with it. I…”
I don’t want to hurt her.
“Are you gonna go back to your familiar bubble then? Pretend nothing happened, until you can’t anymore?” Caleb grabbed him by the collar. “Get over yourself. You know too much. That makes you an accomplice. So, what are you going to do about it?”
Zayne stared into Caleb’s eyes, swirling like two black holes. “And how much do you know? What happened when I met you?”
Caleb tightened his grip on the collar, frowning. “I… I don’t remember much before Josephine. We… we weren’t there for long, you know? It felt long. But it was… was only a year. I don’t want to remember. But some things… some things come back to me. A certain word, a certain smell… it’s like… selecting a scene from a movie. I can pull something out of the memory bank when I need it most. I need to remember… because she’s unaware. Only I can protect her.”
Zayne gritted his teeth. All his life, Zayne had been called a genius. No one had ever dared to look down on his skills… until Caleb. Caleb made him feel so… small, helpless. Dumb.
Did he think it was that simple? Taking on everything by himself… Zayne could never compare to that fierce desire. It… irritated him. This boy with no thought of his own well being, arrogant enough to think he alone could solve any problem. Zayne wanted to chip that armor, try harder than ever before to keep up with Caleb, to show him he wasn’t the only one who can protect. He wasn’t the pathetic boy who couldn’t even save himself like Caleb thought he was. No, Zayne was done hiding. Done being blind.
He just simply couldn’t be outdone by someone two years his junior, was all. He was the oldest. He needed to act like it.
He wasn’t going to let him take all the credit. They were stuck in this together now, weren’t they?
Zayne placed his hand over Caleb’s. “EVER is calculating the explosions, targeting Gaia and children.”
“So? Why should I care about that?”
“Because sooner or later… Josephine…”
Caleb narrowed his eyes, the intensity dulling to immobile clouds. “What about her?”
Zayne tugged at his hand. “Death isn’t the solution. No one deserves to die.”
“There you go again. Your kindness is sickening,” Caleb gagged, letting him go.
“Aren’t you scared of dying?”
Caleb looked at him. “Terrified. But that’s why I’m willing to do whatever it takes to save her.”
Zayne still didn’t understand. “You’re insane.”
“Come up with a more creative insult, why don’t you?” Caleb brushed past him, peeking out the door. “Let’s get out of here. Before she gets too worried.”
As they snuck out, Dr. Fang was just coming back, and he stared at them in shock. “Zayne? Caleb? What were you doing there?”
“It’s… it’s not what it looks like…” Zayne yelped.
“It’s exactly what it looks like,” Caleb corrected. “Whatever that is.”
Dr. Fang opened his mouth, and Zayne braced himself for a scolding. But it never came.
“Dr. Fang, is this him?” a voice intruded. Zayne jumped, his gaze swinging up. The man from before. Their gazes clashed. The corner of his lips twitched up. “Hello there. You must be… Zayne Li, was it? I’m glad I got the chance to meet you.”
Zayne didn’t respond.
“I thought I told you to leave,” Dr. Fang placed his hands on Zayne’s shoulders.
“Don’t get your hackles raised, Dr. Fang. I only forgot something,” the man sighed. “It’s a happy coincidence.”
The man glanced at Zayne again. His eyes then took in Caleb. He leaned closer. “And this boy…?”
Caleb wrapped an arm around Zayne. “Not interested. Now scram.”
The man stared Caleb down, his eyes widening. He backed away, chuckling. “This hospital carries an array of gems. Has that vulgar attitude landed you in trouble yet? You should watch yourself more. Nothing good comes from disobedient children.”
“I do my part well enough. But what about you?” Caleb lifted his chin. “How disposable are you? Enough to need a Protocore to defend yourself?”
The man blinked. “You mean this?”
He pulled out a crystal from his breast pocket. As he turned it, light bounced off it, shining at them in red. “This is as common as you are. Something that won’t be missed. It’s faulty. But can still serve a purpose, as long as it earns the right owner.”
Zayne stiffened. How did Caleb know the man had a Protocore? But now that Zayne was aware, he saw something… simmering under the surface. He could feel it growing, getting out of control. If it continued to fester, it might peel off the skin, tearing through the cloak that rippled over his form. Zayne covered his mouth. That familiar wave of disgust washed over him. But Caleb remained straight faced, as if he couldn’t see what Zayne saw.
“Children, didn’t your parents teach you not to accept things from strangers?” Dr. Fang pushed the man back.
“Parents? Don’t be absurd. It’s impossible to be taught by something that doesn’t exist,” the man scoffed. He sidestepped Dr. Fang, which caused him to graze against Caleb. He grabbed at his arm, steadying himself with a squeeze. “Dogs should behave, don’t you think? They shouldn’t seek too much and start biting hands where they don’t belong. Don’t forget.”
Caleb narrowed his eyes. The man let go of his arm and finally walked away.
“Why did you two wander from the examination room?” Dr. Fang sighed. “Go back. Gentlemen shouldn’t leave a girl behind. I need to get Josephine.”
Caleb and Zayne made their way back. Silence descended upon them. Until…
“You’re… adopted?” Caleb whispered.
Zayne looked away. “It’s… not that much of a secret.”
“Then are you…” Caleb shook his head. “They must be using you as well.”
Zayne widened his eyes. “No, I think you’re misunderstanding…”
“No,” Caleb said firmly. “I know what it’s like. You don’t need to explain. Surely you’ve felt it. And now knowing what we know… it’s all some game to them. But… that just means we need to stick together. Outsmart them.”
“Outsmart them? How are we supposed to do that?” Zayne distanced himself. “And I thought you sided with EVER.”
Caleb pursed his lips. “That’s… complicated. But if they’re going after her…”
They opened the door to the exam room. The girl jumped up, rushing into Caleb’s arms. Caleb’s bitter expression melted in an instant. A strange pang hit Zayne in the chest.
“Gege! There you are! And you found Zayne!” the girl beamed. “I was worried you got lost after all that talk about knowing the way better than me.”
“How could you ever doubt me, Pip-squeak?” he ruffled her hair. “Anyways, say goodbye. We gotta go.”
“But… I haven’t had a chance to talk to Zayne…” she pouted.
Zayne placed a hand on her shoulder. “We can talk later when you come over to my house. I won’t be able to tutor you otherwise, remember?”
Caleb froze. His eyes shifted to Zayne. “Tutoring…?”
“Oh, right. We did say that,” the girl blushed, removing herself from Caleb.
“Why… didn’t you ask me?” Caleb rubbed his neck.
“Because you always say no!” the girl whined. “Zayne was kind enough to offer.”
Caleb stared harder. But then a gleam entered his eyes. There and gone. “Okay… if you say so.”
Zayne blinked. He wasn’t expecting that reaction.
But he wasn’t able to elaborate. Josephine came to gather her children.
Before they left, Caleb hit Zayne with a smirk. “We’ll just have to see. Talk to you later.”
What else was there to talk about?
*****
Zayne reentered the corridor. He made his way to the reception desk in the lobby, his head down, filled with thoughts.
He looked at his hands. The hands of a killer. Was his passion really just a farce? An escape from his guilt? A selfish desire…
He opened and closed his hands. He had lost control before. What if he lost control again? Was that day… connected to his fate? Then… how much longer did he have before he “awakened”? What exactly was his Evol?
A flash of white darted past him. Zayne stopped, looking up. A man stood at the desk, leaning against the wood. Where had he come from? His hair was white as snow, drooping over his eyes, bright blue like frozen water. A chill covered Zayne. An odd foreboding. Like he was seeing something he shouldn’t have been seeing. Not here. Not yet.
“So… this is the hospital?” the man said. He glanced down at Zayne. “I didn’t think there would be so many travelers here. It’s so… antiquated. But it doesn’t matter. The goal is all the same, right?”
“Who… are you?”
The man blinked at him. “I’m just like you. Although I never would’ve expected you to pick a place like this.”
Zayne backed up. “Huh? What do you mean, you’re just like me? That’s not possible.”
The man shrugged. “You’ll come to understand, little Emissary. Now that the loop has started, it’s inevitable.”
The loop. That word again. From his dream—
The man picked a mint from the jar. “You’re not tall enough to reach this yet, right? Here.”
He tossed the mint. Zayne caught it, cupping his hands.
“A wise man I look up to once told me that everything feels better after a taste of something sweet. You look like you need it.”
Zayne’s eyes widened. How did he…?
But just like that, the man was gone again. As if he was never there, a figment of his imagination.
A lingering voice echoed in his mind. Don’t let the variables affect you.
Zayne looked back down at the mint in his hand. Looking left and right, he unwrapped the mint and popped it into his mouth.
His anxiety vanished. It wasn’t an addiction, but a taste he often found himself chasing… as if desperate to achieve something.
The sweet flavor on his tongue brought him back to the smile he saw that day.
“As long as I have something sweet, I can feel happy even on a bad day.”
He sucked some more. Ah. Maybe it was because… it felt like he was closer to her.
It shooed away the loneliness. The guilt.
He wondered if the other version of him felt the same way when he ate dark chocolate.
Perhaps he should try that next. …Just for research.
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Ten: The Attic
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
Yes, this chapter is about THE scene! It references Rain’s Embrace and Yearly Nostalgia. I wanted this chapter to be as perfect as I could get it, so it took me a month to write.
WARNING: this chapter is psychologically disturbing. It contains stalking, manipulation, personality dissociation, C-PTSD, and obsessive (compulsive) behavior. I really dive into Caleb’s complexities here. If you like the dark side of Caleb, you’ll appreciate this chapter. If you’re not a fan of Caleb’s yandere side, then you should avoid.
This chapter is long. I could’ve split it, but it will ruin the flow of my story. I really wanted to throw in a family bonding moment somewhere, to show Caleb warming up to Josephine and getting used to his new relationship with MC. Caleb’s relationship with Josephine is complicated and while he is never able to let go of his past trauma associated with her, there is still a familial connection. This chapter also has more unfolding plot moments that lead into the next.
I know this fic currently has weak points in dialogue and consistency. While these are all things I’ll work on when I revise after I finish this fic, I am trying to get better at fleshing that out as I write. Starting with the dialogue—I hope the children sound more their age while discussing politics in this chapter.
Some personal news—I broke my foot, so I have 10 weeks of no work. Which means, more time to write!
*****
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
#####
Please stop… make it stop…
Darkness. That’s all there ever was. Disrupted by a red beam of light.
“I’m here. I’ll always be here…”
No… don’t take her away…
My only—
I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all.
His vision expanded until he was falling. Voices floated past him, vanishing before he could grasp onto their meaning—nothing more than wispy black vapors that poked and prodded his skin.
I need… to remember…
A trembling hand reached out for the light, exploding into shatters…
Caleb woke with a gasp, sweat dripping down his forehead. He patted next to him.
No… where is she? I can’t be alone…
Thunder banged like a gunshot. His head exploded into pain, turning his vision white. He gritted his teeth. Dammit. It escaped him again.
He was slowly forgetting who he was. Bits and pieces—a hand tightening around his heart, squeezing until his soul scattered into a billion broken fragments, impossible to build back together again. A tug on the brain, as if something there was being… warped. Twisted to mush. Strangely, he only experienced this sensation every storm, and it got stronger after each one. Consuming him from the inside out. Anxiety crawled over him.
Some days, he would black out completely, with no memory of what had just transpired. Nothing but the faintest emotion, remnant of what he had lost. Caleb was always watching a movie in reverse only to discover missing frames and a lack of context, while everyone else around him watched the movie forward.
He didn’t like it. Didn’t like that he was forgetting. Didn’t like that she was leaving him behind once more.
Once… more?
Thunder clapped again. He clutched his head.
He was forgetting something important. But what? Why couldn’t he remember? If he could just reach inside and retrieve it…
But it was already gone, sunken into some abyss. Caleb could never make sense of his dreams. He only knew that in each dream, he felt… abandoned. As if he had just lost someone precious. An endless cycle of suffering, across several different lives. Would he ever get what he lost back? Would the cycle finally end?
The sky cracked open, lightning striking the ground, eliminating the last of his thoughts. Groaning, Caleb opted to get out of bed.
At the shelter, he would sneak into the girl’s room to comfort her at night. But now that they were living with Josephine, the old woman made sure to separate them. Caleb hated it. And he hated even more how happy the girl was at the thought of having her own room. Because he wasn’t ready to sleep alone yet.
Rubbing his bleary eyes, he entered the living room. Lightning flashed, illuminating the space. It was still dark outside. As Caleb ventured further into the layout, a thud from upstairs startled him.
He slowly approached, stretching out his hand, gathering energy. But just before he could pounce, the girl emerged from the shadows.
He quickly lowered his hand. “Pip-squeak? What are you doing?”
She gave an exaggerated yawn. “Had another nightmare. So I climbed into the attic. You can see the stars from the skylight…”
Thunder interrupted her. She yelped, flying into Caleb’s arms. Caleb wobbled, steadying her.
“But… but… the attic is very small, and the… the…”
“Scared of a lil’ thunder, Pip-squeak?” Caleb tightened his hold on her.
“So are you,” she mumbled into his shoulder. “That’s why you’re clinging to me, isn’t it?”
He didn’t answer. Instead, he shifted on his feet, walking them to the couch.
“So, what’s the real story? You haven’t had a nightmare in a while,” Caleb said. “And… you would’ve come to me otherwise, like you usually do, right? What are you hiding from me?”
She stiffened in his hold. “You… you don’t know that! Now that school has started, we should be more independent, don’t you think?”
Caleb scoffed. Why should he care about what others think? It was just the two of them. They weren’t hurting anybody or each other. People were just too damn noisy and needed to learn to mind their own business.
“You say that, yet you’re still scared of thunder and closed spaces. I also clearly remember you crying whenever you got lost on your own… which wasn’t too long ago, by the way,” Caleb flicked her forehead.
“Hold my hand. You won't have to worry about losing your way when I'm here.”
Yes, back when they had first moved in with Josephine, into this unfamiliar house, the girl had trouble gaining her bearings and remembering where she was. It was up to Caleb to remind her, as per usual, and comfort her. She would always be up late into the night, crying herself into a sobbing mess…
Caleb blinked. Wait a minute…
He leaned forward. She bent back in reaction, averting her gaze to something over his shoulder. Clicking his tongue, he snatched her cheeks to get her to look directly at him again. His pupils flicked left to right as he inspected her face, not missing a thing. “Were you… crying?”
“N-no! Don’t be ridiculous!” she sniffed, wiping her eyes.
There weren’t any tear stains. But he recognized those swollen, bloodshot eyes anywhere.
“Why are you crying here by yourself?” Caleb demanded, his thumbs pressing down on her cheeks. Her memory had finally started to stick after a few weeks, and with it, her nightmares disappeared. She had no reason to cry anymore… unless…
The only new factor was school. The girl was placed in a different grade than him, so they rarely saw each other outside the house. Caleb had never wished to be twins until now. The mistaken label had annoyed him at first, reminding him of the familial bond that was forced upon him. He was registered as eleven years old, while she was registered as eight—three years between them. A gap he now resented. Caleb wasn’t able to protect her from afar if he couldn’t see her.
Rage boiled inside him. It erupted out his mouth, “Who bullied you?”
The girl’s eyes widened. She shook her head. “When did I say I was bullied? You got it all wrong…”
But her body couldn’t prove her words. She broke off into a hiccup, then another, and she was no longer able to hold it all. Caleb shushed her, rubbing her back. “It’s okay, I’ll avenge you.”
“No, I swear I can handle it myself,” she shook her head again. “I don’t want to bother you… You’ve been so kept together at school, so perfect. Everybody practically loves you. We really are in a different world from the shelter now, aren’t we?”
“Don’t say that. You think I’m perfect?” Caleb clenched his fists.
…That wasn’t it. Caleb exhibited a talent for physical prowess, which made everyone, teachers and students alike, flock to him. Somehow he had already been roped into playing for the basketball team (“the boy will go far with those strong arms)”. His grades also excelled in math and science, which placed him at top of his class.
It wasn’t that anyone found him approachable. They were just in awe that the new kid from nowhereville was so good at multiple things. Yet no one actually knew him beyond that. They had no desire to investigate his background. He was upstanding… but still an outsider. Whenever he passed through the halls, stares burned his back, whispers irritated his ears. It didn’t matter what environment he was in. They all wanted a piece of his flesh. No one ever had pure intentions. The moment he disappointed anyone? They would all look away, discard him as trash. That was all he was worth. So he simply just didn’t disappoint. That way no one could ever throw him away. It was a function he couldn’t turn off.
And… it worked, hiding all those flaws, those struggles. Observing what “good kids” do and enacting the role. It made her look at him, too. Like he was someone genuinely special. Her entire world. Not just a mere tool to be used on someone’s whim. But a person, a human. She made all the stares and whispers fade away whenever she directed her bright smile his way. His sun.
Caleb didn’t care about the bullies, the teachers, Josephine, even himself… only she stood out. Without his sun by his side, he was just going through the motions, never retaining anything. The world was gray and dull and full of bodies that looked all the same to Caleb. But she was colorful. She gave his life meaning, gave him a purpose in protecting her, being needed by her.
They would always have each other. They didn’t need anybody else. That’s how it always was. What did it matter if the whole population hated them, as long as they were together?
“I wish we went to school with Zayne…” the girl sighed. “School would’ve been more bearable. But he’s older than both of us. A whole different level, too.”
Caleb’s eye twitched. Zayne? That guy again?
He tried to forget him, but the universe put them together with every sigh, forcing the memory out of his brain. An annoying reminder. He didn’t know how he would’ve coped if Zayne actually attended the same school as them.
“Do you have a crush on him or something?”
A blush overtook her cheeks as she shrunk herself even lower. But she didn’t respond. Caleb narrowed his eyes.
“Wait—”
“And what would be wrong with that? Do you know how many girls in my grade obsess over you?”
Caleb became slackjawed. No way. She couldn’t have a crush on somebody else. That would be—
“Kids? What are you doing up so early?” Josephine emerged from her room, tying her robe together.
Streaks of lightning casted shadows over her figure. Caleb held the girl against his chest, glaring at Josephine. “She made a ruckus in the attic. Woke me up.”
Josephine’s eyes widened.
“Caleb, you meanie! That was a secret!” the girl pushed him away, turning to Josephine. “…I only wanted to see the stars. Caleb said we did that at the shelter whenever I got sad. It reminds me of home… wherever that is.”
“But she got scared of the thunder,” Caleb stated, tugging the girl back to him, never taking his eyes off Josephine.
“Well, you were up because you got scared of the dark,” the girl prodded a finger at his chest. “Don’t try to deny it. I know that’s the real reason why you hate storms. It darkens the whole place.”
“Alright, enough,” Josephine pinched the bridge of her nose. “Neither of you should be in the attic. The door is old and can slam shut on you. I haven’t gotten around to replacing it.”
Caleb didn’t see what was wrong about being accidentally locked in the attic. After all, the girl had always kept her bedroom door locked, the few times he had tried coming in there. If it was to protect herself from him… it was effective.
The girl pouted. “Fine…”
Josephine clapped her hands. “It seems like you both had a rough night. When the storm lets up, we need to do repairs. Caleb, since you’re good at that, you can help.”
Caleb scowled.
“Mm, all these bad feelings made me hungry…” the girl yawned, rubbing her stomach. “Can we eat before we do that?”
“We can eat while we work. I’ll get it prepared.”
“I’ll make the food,” Caleb said immediately. “That’s supposed to be my job.”
He didn’t trust anything Josephine made. At least when he cooked, he knew what he was giving to the girl.
And… the nagging voice in his head fell silent when she praised his food. Her gratitude refilled his missing parts.
Josephine simply smiled at him. “Sure. Let’s make it a picnic. The weather should be calming down soon.”
*****
The air was damp. The pressure on his skin made his joints even worse, like old parts rusting over. Rain always made the pain in his arm flare up, the migraines ever present. Josephine insisted that was a psychological response. Caleb saw it as an omen.
Caleb wiped the sweat off his forehead. The weather vane had fallen off, and he was giving it a fresh polish. But he could feel the girl staring intently at him as he worked. Just like she always did whenever he got fixated on building something.
Caleb resented this weather vane. He didn’t think it would be so delicate. It felt like a reflection on how fragile their relationship really was.
“This is east, this is south, this is west, and this is north,” Caleb pointed to each painted tip of the newly constructed weather vane. “The next time you get lost, just remember these directions. The biggest star you see will always point north. And that’s how you find your way back home.”
The girl watched his hand, then looked back at him with a pout. “If you're always by my side, do I need to learn anything?”
Caleb paused. It was true that he often held her hand, but… “Have you ever thought of leaving me one day?”
“But where would I go? Are you going to kick me out?” the girl’s eyes wavered, turning downward.
Caleb reached for her hand, turning her face back up at him. “I'll always stay by your side. I promise. And I won't ever go back on my word.”
Except that wasn’t a promise he could ever keep. He made that weather vane so she wouldn’t be scared anymore when he wasn’t around, but all it did was drive her away. Ever since that day, the girl expressed a desire to be free. From him. She had grown too distant. The little push evolved into a chasm. That’s not what he wanted, was it?
They used to be inseparable. That privilege had given him a knack for knowing her best. But now, it was as if they were never even close to begin with. He no longer knew her best. He couldn’t see what ailed her, and she didn’t want to tell him either, which meant secrets had formed between them. And that bothered him.
Did she not trust him anymore? Did she see through his act? See that he wasn’t perfect anymore?
Caleb tossed the screw driver onto the ground. “All done.”
“Good as new,” Josephine placed her hand on his shoulder. Caleb twisted his body from her grasp and shoved the weather vane into her hand instead. Josephine only smiled at him.
“Gege,” the girl whined, placing her chin on top of the end of the broomstick she was holding. “Can you…”
“No, Pip-squeak. It’s not fair if I do your chores,” Caleb gazed at the trees. They had planted them as sprouts when they first moved in. A reminder of the shelter. But now they started to grow, inch by inch. A reminder of their distance. The weather vane creaked behind him. “This is part of the growing up you wanted, right? I can’t interfere.”
Highlights flashed in the girl’s eyes. Caleb bit down on the inside of his cheek, then pivoting on his heel, snatched back the weather vane from Josephine’s hands and brushed past her. The girl opened her mouth to say something, but Caleb had already begun climbing the long ladder to mount the weather vane back on the roof.
Josephine sighed. “Well, since he’s going to be like that, I guess I’ll get the food.”
Caleb had just finished twisting the weather vane. He stood frozen there as the screen door shut behind Josephine. Then he descended, his hands skimming the ladder as he landed on the ground.
He headed after Josephine. The girl chased after him and tugged on his arm. He paused, his hand on the screen door. “Caleb, you’re too reckless! What if you got hurt?”
His lip twitched. He shrugged her off, slipping through the door.
“Hey! Don’t be mean to Grandma! I won’t forgive you!” the girl called after him. The door shut, separating them as her pleas fell on deaf ears.
Grandma this, Grandma that. He was sick of it. She didn’t realize what trouble he went through just for her.
He slunk into the kitchen, creeping behind Josephine’s back. She didn’t even flinch as Caleb reached his hand around her to grab the plate she had lifted. “I’ll take that.”
“Caleb, you can’t baby her forever,” Josephine wiped her hands on the cloth. “Give her room to breathe. If you get too close—”
“Let me handle this my way,” Caleb said, bringing the plate close to his chest. “That’s the only reason why I’m here.”
“Caleb—” Josephine raised her hand, but Caleb dodged it, moving forward.
“The food is gonna get stale,” Caleb mumbled. “Sandwiches are so plain. Maybe one day you’ll trust me enough to actually cook over a stove.”
Caleb went back outside. But when he looked up from the plate, he halted in his tracks.
The girl was talking to a floating orb.
The plate slipped from his fingers. But his body was already hurling towards her. He wrapped his arms around her in a protective barrier. Just before the plate could crash onto the ground, he froze it with his Evol.
His breath hit her neck. Josephine came rushing out. “My goodness.”
She caught the plate, and Caleb released his hold on it.
“Gege? What’s wrong?” the girl asked, tapping his back.
“Robot,” Caleb tightened his grip on her. A red dot beeped from its forehead.
Robots were a recent development. They started roaming the streets when the Hunters Association formed. At first it was just surveillance, but as other companies got hold of the industry, they were made into other uses. People joked that robots would take over.
And the number one manufacturer… was EVER.
“Robots don’t usually venture onto personal property…” Josephine whispered.
“Let go!” the girl squirmed.
“Stay back, Pip-squeak,” Caleb held her back. “It’s dangerous.”
“Dangerous? Caleb, it’s a robot. They’re harmless! And this one seems broken, anyways,” the girl squeezed out of his hold. “I was going to ask if you can fix it before you went crazy on me.”
“Fix it?” Caleb narrowed his eyes. “They should be left alone.”
“But all robots have different personalities. Doesn’t that make them kinda human? What if it’s in pain?”
“Pain? Pip-squeak, it’s a robot. They don’t feel anything. Robots aren’t humans. And they never can be. They’re too different,” Caleb hissed, his arms dropping to his sides as the throbbing returned. He didn’t move his gaze from the robot.
“Well, at least it’s not a Wanderer,” the girl shrugged.
“A sense of self can be more dangerous than a mindless beast that has lost all control,” Josephine walked towards the robot. “But it really does seem to be malfunctioning. Perhaps just a reset and then send it on its way.”
“…If you insist,” Caleb picked up his screw driver. “Certainly a new challenge.”
Caleb tapped the robot, opening a latch. Then got to work.
As he maneuvered around wires and screws, the robot flickered to life. Static came here and there. Flicking a few buttons, Caleb was able to activate its radio channel.
“The DAA has reported back with findings from the Deepspace Tunnel. They will continuously make journeys to collect data for Earth.”
Caleb paused, his fingers in the middle of plucking a wire.
“The DAA? Isn’t that the place you want to get into when you grow up?” the girl popped up behind him once more to get closer to the radio. “Haven’t heard anything about them in a while.”
“Because their missions are top secret,” Caleb said.
“When we asked the Fleets about their goals for Deepspace, they declined to give us detailed answers. The Fleets continue to remain a growing mystery. The most we can gather is that Skyhaven intends to use the Fleets for greater and better things once the armed force is fully developed. The DAA is still limited in their technology, but is currently our best source of information and defense. They wish to use their data to protect Earth, while people speculate the Fleets are moving on….”
Caleb frowned. “If the DAA is competing with the Fleets, shouldn’t they be using Protocores to catch up? They’ll never win if they stick with the same methods.”
“The DAA is old-fashioned. After all, they’re a branch of our old Air Force catered to help with Wanderers and the aftermath of the Catastrophe. No one even knew the Fleets existed until the Catastrophe,” Josephine said, giving the plate to the girl. Caleb glared at the gesture. That should’ve been him. At least there was nothing she could’ve put in it.
“But the Wanderers are not from here. This isn’t something they can handle with normal means,” Caleb tore a wire from the robot. “People say this world won’t last much longer. It’s old and useless. Wouldn’t it be better to use the new technology to their advantage and start looking at one of the worlds from the tunnel?”
“It’s not useless, Caleb! It’s the world we live in.”
“Well, it’s useless if it’s destined to end,” Caleb slammed the latch of the robot down, dusting it off. He stole a part of the sandwich from her plate. “Didn’t we promise to explore other worlds when I become a pilot? This one isn’t anything special. We don’t have to rely on it. There has to be better ones out there. And once I find it, I’ll take you with me.”
Where no one else can hurt us.
Ignoring her protests, he shoved the stolen piece into her mouth. She shut up around the mouthful, swallowing.
“There have been more reports on explosions around urban and suburban districts. Investigations are still ongoing for missing victims, most of which appear to be children. The cases are being handled by the Hunters Association. Protocores and Metaflux are suspected to be the cause. Some casualties have been identified as former scientists belonging to Gaia.”
Caleb turned his gaze to Josephine.
Her arm appeared next to him as she cut off the radio. “You know what? Maybe these things are no good after all.”
“They sound useful to me.”
The vermin that created all this. The ghosts in his nightmares. All gone. Why wouldn’t that be a good thing? An enemy of an enemy was a powerful ally.
Josephine closed her eyes and released a shaky breath. “Caleb… what do you think I had before I met you?”
He tilted his head. “How should I know? That’s not something I think about.”
“Well, I’m sure Grandma had something important,” the girl said. “That would explain why she’s so loving.”
Caleb rolled his eyes. But Josephine chuckled. That chuckle was filled with sorrow. “The truth is… I had nothing. There was always this… void in my heart that couldn’t be filled. I dived into my work, but that too felt pointless. I didn’t have a family. Didn’t think I needed one. I wasn’t fond of children. They were just a liability. But then you two came along… and I couldn’t bring myself to turn away. Maybe it’s selfish. But… I still want to try. I know nothing about what makes a family. I want us to learn and grow together… I think that’s what makes us a family more than anything else.”
The girl sniffed, looking at Caleb with those puppy doe eyes. “I also want us to get along. Caleb, can’t you try?”
Caleb looked down at his hands. One of them was curled into a fist. He hid it behind his back. “Don’t make me barf.”
Thunder woke the earth once more. Josephine looked ahead, shielding her eyes with her hand. “Oh, dear. Looks like more storms are brewing.”
Caleb glanced towards the roof. “The weather vane is weak. It won’t survive all these storms.”
“Then we’ll just have to keep putting it back together each time it falls apart.”
Perhaps Caleb liked to fix things… because it made him foolishly believe he could be fixed as well. All the broken parts.
“Is it… really worth fixing something that will keep breaking, anyways?”
“Well, I think so.”
Caleb exhaled, releasing the knot in his chest. He refused to acknowledge it. He couldn’t acknowledge it. He didn’t feel warm.
This family could only ever be a means to an end.
Caleb crushed the device he had hidden in his fist. The red blinker died on the robot.
*****
The doorbell rang.
“Who is that? Grandma didn’t mention anyone coming over…”
“Stranger danger. If we don’t know, then don’t answer,” Caleb tapped the paper in front of her. “That doesn’t mean you can get out of homework. I’m not doing it for you.”
The girl pouted. “Meanie.”
The doorbell rang again. Followed by a series of pounding.
“They won’t go away,” she whispered.
Caleb glared at the door. “Stay here. I’ll go scout.”
Caleb slid open the latch to peek out the hole. High maintenance, but one could never be too safe.
“Well?” the girl snuck up on him, leaning over his shoulder. “Let me see!”
Caleb pushed her. “Nobody important.”
It was a group of boys. Nobody Caleb recognized, but he had an inkling of why they were here.
Ever since he learned that she had bullies at school, Caleb had… been keeping a closer eye. She still never told him the details, and their age difference kept them apart, so… he had to resort to other means in making sure she was safe.
He was able to identify the problem. No one said anything when they were together, but when he was gone, they got… too comfortable. Her classmates would comment on how weird the girl was, how she couldn’t do anything on her own. They mocked her relationship with her brother, calling their closeness creepy. She had no friends. She was all alone. He was her only ally. That part, above all else, filled him with giddiness. She still needed him, even if she wouldn’t say it.
Caleb had overheard some kids in his grade claim they wanted to make a pass at the girl he had been “so obsessed with.” Threats were usually empty, but apparently these ones were bold enough to pick a fight with him at their doorstep. Did they truly think they could get rid of him to get to her?
He would never let that happen. These were small fry compared to the real deal he had to face. No one was going to take her away from him again.
The girl placed her hand on the knob. “If you won’t open the door, then I will! Are they your friends? I can’t wait to meet them.”
Her voice mellowed out into an irritating fuzz that pricked his ears, light fading into a bleak gray. He was back in the sterile room, his arms bound, never able to reach her. No. I’m losing her. His dilated pupils darted back and forth, wandering, searching for an escape route. He can’t lose her—
His gaze landed upstairs, towards the attic. His heart thudded in his chest.
Caleb snatched the girl’s wrist before she could twist the knob.
“Gege?” she looked at him, her brow furrowed, eyes wavering.
“Oh,” Caleb mouthed, retracting his hand. “I left my bag in the attic. You know I can’t play without it, right?”
“Your bag?” the girl blinked. “Why is it in the attic? Grandma said—”
“Pip-squeak,” Caleb gripped her shoulder. “I really can’t play without it. If you get my bag, I’ll let you play with us. Deal?”
“Promise?” the girl’s eyes sparkled, but then she frowned. “Wait. Why are you making me do it? You know I’m scared.”
“Hey, you keep telling me you’re all grown up now. Was that a lie?” Caleb sighed. “Guess it can’t be helped. Fine. Be scared forever. You must not trust me anymore.”
He turned away from her. One, two, three…
“…Fine,” the girl clung to his arm. “I’ll do it.”
Caleb smiled. Gotcha.
No matter how far apart they were… he still knew how she ticked. He was relieved that she was weak to his provocations and demands. Just like he was to hers. At least that hadn’t changed.
“Don’t worry, Pip-squeak. I won’t leave you to fend for yourself. I’ll be right here if you need me.”
She pursed her lips. “You better.”
She climbed up the stairs, mumbling under her breath all the while. She disappeared into the attic.
After a few seconds—
“I don’t see the bag. Are you sure it’s here?”
“Just keep looking, Pip-squeak. I’m sure it’s somewhere,” Caleb cupped his mouth. He trudged up the steps, where her grunts and fruitless shuffling got louder. Quietly, and oh so slowly, he drew closer to the entrance to the attic. Her back was facing him, completely unaware.
The fuzz in his head twisted into silver-tongued whispers. They coiled around him like a snake, infecting him with murky poison. Safe, safe, safe.
Then lifting his hand, the door shut in front of him, and the lock fell into place.
The whispers silenced at once. His body unfolded, light and free. Caleb was at ease. He put his hand on the door, closing his eyes, releasing the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. Now she wasn’t in the way.
She would be looking for a while. His gaze slanted down. His bag was in his room. And she had been so deep into her search, so trusting of him, she hadn’t even noticed him come up and lock the door. It was almost too easy. But that’s exactly why she couldn’t get involved. He huffed a laugh. Confident, he swaggered down the steps and swung open the front door.
Three sets of eyes blinked at him.
“That’s him? The ‘all star’ everyone’s talking about?” one whispered.
Another nudged him. “Don’t stare at him for too long. Those eyes are creepy.”
The one in front—the leader, presumably—puffed out his chest. “Caleb Xia. Are you alone? Where’s that baby sister of yours? You stalk her so much at school that I thought you’d never leave her side. Is she hiding behind you? Or did she go crying to that old lady?”
“She’s…busy,” Caleb smirked, leaning against the doorframe, tilting his head. “Three guys against one small girl? That’s not fair. Sorry, you’ll have to deal with me instead. But let’s make this quick. I need to cook dinner soon—she gets nasty when she’s hungry.”
He stepped out, closing the door behind him. The clouds were an endless expanse of gray. The telltale signs of another storm carved itself in the joints of his arm.
See? He had to do it. She wouldn’t have been able to take them all on her own. They would have all ganged up on her, using his name to provoke her. She would have been too consumed by rage to think about her actions. Then he would have to step in, protecting her while also fending them off. It wasn’t efficient. It was much better to just fight all her battles for her, so she wouldn’t be scared. A girl who was too scared to do things on her own, who could barely even win against him, who failed to hide her tears, who forgave and trusted too easily, would never be able to stand a chance against three bullies. He did the right thing.
But he meant it when he said these three were nobodies. They looked just like everybody else—two eyes, four limbs, bad intentions. Standing close to them, he bet they didn’t even have any Evols. They didn’t exude any particular energy. All they had to offer was arrogance. It would be a swift victory, as expected.
A minute later, Caleb was dusting off his hands while the boys laid in a crumpled heap at his feet.
“H-huh?” one asked, wide-eyed. “How? Your Evol is…”
“What kind of sick freak are you?” the leader shouted at Caleb.
Caleb stuck a finger in his ear and twisted it. Damn, they were so loud and annoying. “Shut your traps. I only taught you a lesson.”
The leader trembled.
Here we go. Caleb crossed his arms.
But then the leader bowed to the ground in a kee-tow, clasping his hands together in prayer. “Please, be our leader!”
What…? Caleb blinked. That wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
“Yes, please! Teach us more!” the others followed.
Caleb raised his hands, backing up. “Wait. I didn’t—”
“Please, give us a chance!” they tugged on his arms. “No one is as strong as you in our grade. With you on your side, we can finally take down that rival gang down the block!”
“Yeah, that sounds like a you problem,” Caleb sneered. “Get off me.”
“Please! You don’t have any friends yet, do you? We’ll back you up if you help us out.”
Caleb just gave them all blank expressions. Friends? He didn’t need friends. Especially with people so average.
Especially when it wouldn’t last. Nothing ever did. This life was temporary. Someday, when it was over, Caleb would need to adjust and move on. Meaningless attachments only complicated the process. Caleb never understood why anyone clung to objects long after their initial use. He resented them.
The only one he needed, who he didn’t want to be temporary…
“Ugh,” Caleb hissed, doubling over, an intense pain hitting the back of his head. The boys kept tugging, and for a brief moment, Caleb forgot why he had been resisting. It would just be for a little while…
The sterile walls were closing in on him again, and he couldn’t remember what happened next.
*****
Floating. He couldn’t feel anything. An encompassing numbness that rid him of all his senses. It should have scared him, but it was… relaxing. There was no pain. No emotions holding him back. Completely empty. What would happen, if he just… let it all go? Allowed the darkness to consume him?
No one could hurt him if he had no knowledge to use.
As he drifted along the current, transparent claw-like shapes scratched his arms—daring to pull him back, hold him down. They were taking from him, taking what was his. But they couldn’t. He wouldn’t let them. It was his, his, his.
Power surged through him. He grabbed a wispy shadow and twisted it as far as it would go. He was surrounded by shadows and apparitions. He tore them apart, piece by piece. They disintegrated in his hold like rotten ash.
He wasn’t prey. Nothing mattered to him but survival.
He climbed upon the pile as the sole victor. Blood gushed in his ears. His heart struggled to keep up, jumping at the competition, the adrenaline of the hunt. Yes, this was how it should be. Limitless power, unstoppable. On top of the world—no, the universe.
It was always the challenge. The challenge of hiding who he was, retraining himself within all the rules of society to play the role of the perfect boy. Sure, it was interesting for a while, finding creative ways to play with prey while concealing one’s true nature… but nothing compared to being free to let loose, reaching one’s full uninhibited potential. He had never felt so raw, so primal before. He was one with everything. A cosmic energy beyond anyone’s comprehension.
But… what was that? He felt so… close to something, just within his grasp. But the closer he got, the more his skull seemed to ache. It rung around and around, and he knew he was losing something. Gradually. But what was it…?
“Caleb!”
A voice in the distance. The circle began to unwind. A hand reached out through the black hole of his mind—
“Caleb… Caleb! Xia Yizhou!”
Caleb jolted. Josephine had grabbed him by the collar, shaking him.
She had that look on her face… the same look she had when she found him grabbing the stray kitten by the neck after it had run away again. The same look she had when she walked in on him lingering outside the girl’s bedroom door in the middle of the night, thumbing through everything she touched. The look that said he would never be good enough to stand by the girl’s side.
“What were you thinking? You could’ve gotten yourself caught!”
Caleb’s head lulled to the side. He finally noticed the three boys scrambling away. More laid on the concrete, their limbs spasming like electrocuted spiders. A robot droned by, flicking its red eye at Caleb.
How did they get here? Did… he do that? He couldn’t remember a single thing. A different entity had taken over his body, snatching the reins. Sometimes it was a comfort, an escape from reality. Other times, he lost control. His personality split into two, playing an endless tug-of-war, unable to decide which side was the real him. The boy everyone saw him as, or the boy he was trained to be?
“You’re already making such a fuss at school… the least you could do is lay low when you’re outside in the neighborhood so I don’t have to stress so much,” Josephine combed a hand through her hair. “You’ve heard the news. If you’re feeling off, don’t stray from your sister. You can’t protect her like this. You know that’s exactly what they want… to get you unstable and alone. I don’t trust those robots anymore than you do. They must be tracking energy levels for anomalies…”
Caleb snapped out of it. He pushed Josephine off him. “You’re worried about me, or yourself? You’re just like them. You and your damn notes.”
“I’m just… trying to understand you better,” Josephine groaned. “But you’re not making it easy.”
“Yeah, yeah. I can never live up to her. You’ve made that clear,” Caleb walked away. “All I did was not fail. Why so disappointed? You taught me failure wasn’t acceptable.”
“Caleb…” Josephine frowned, then glanced back at the broken kids, who were trying their best to crawl away. “Where is she, anyways? I’m surprised she didn’t come running after you herself.”
Caleb stopped in his tracks. The gaps in his memories slowly came back to him. Along with it, what he had done. Hindsight after an impulsive action was such a bitch.
He winced. “I… left her in the attic.”
Josephine blinked. “The… attic?”
She had that look again. But this time, her face achieved a new record of white.
“What’s so wrong with that? It’s not any different from what you did to us. I was only shielding her from the crossfire. It was your idea to make sure she never finds out how I really am.”
If she was locked up, no one else could get to her, and she couldn’t get to anyone else. It protected her from others, and himself. Isn’t that why cherished possessions were always shut tight?
“Caleb, you… you can’t do that,” Josephine looked right and left. “I know we didn’t exactly teach you any morals, but there is an order to these things you need to follow. You’re only hurting yourself.”
“You told me to not get too close. That we couldn’t grow if we depended too much on each other.”
“Yes! But… there is a middle ground. Who knows how much time you have. Isn’t it better to spend your time wisely with your sister instead of locking her away?”
Caleb frowned. He didn’t understand. Why was she always giving him such contradictory commands? He couldn’t keep up. This was why his personality couldn’t make up his mind.
Josephine sighed. “Maybe one day you’ll realize. Just… let her out when we get home. You better apologize properly. Then I’m taking you with me to apologize to those kids and their parents. I already see several complaints in our future.”
As she dragged him to the house, the robot flashed its red light at them before moving on.
*****
Caleb pushed open the door. He sucked in a breath.
There she was, curled into a ball, her knees pulled tight to her chest, with glistening tears streaked down her face. With the light hitting them, they looked like crystals.
Pretty…
He shook his head. No, she wasn’t. He didn’t like these sadistic thoughts. They weren’t him. Couldn’t be him.
Hide it. Hide it well.
“Pip-squeak?”
But she didn’t respond. A shot of fear struck through him. Oh god, what had he done? But he had known, hadn’t he? Known she was scared. But he thought her being safe would overpower that. He really had no other thought behind it.
He hadn’t felt guilt. Hadn’t even questioned it. He just wanted her to be safe. He thought it was the best option. But in the end, he only did what everyone else had done to her, didn't he?
He was just as dangerous as the ones trying to hurt her.
He was fooling himself. She wasn’t the one who was scared. It was him. He was losing her. It was completely out of his control. She was the only one who could save him from the darkness. The only one who could prevent him from losing himself completely. Because without her, he was… a monster.
He sighed. If Pip-squeak didn’t work, then there was another name that would… and he always hated saying it. He never liked calling her a name that wasn’t one he’d given her on his own. He didn’t want to call her a name that was forced upon her by the people that caused them fear.
“Meimei…” Caleb whispered. Baby sister.
Calling her sister had become a habit after having to say it so long in front of others. Eventually, it became a way to coax her.
Finally, she looked up at him, sniffling through her tears.
“Do you… not see me as your sister?” she croaked.
“What?” Caleb blinked. The second time he was caught off guard today.
She buried her face back into her knees. “It’s just… I’ve noticed you don’t really call me that, unless it’s to make fun of me. Whenever people call us siblings or family, you can’t look me in the eye and get all upset. So… do you hate me? Do you not see me as family?”
Caleb laughed. The question was so absurd. “That’s not it at all…”
“I know you prefer English and your Western name, but Zayne’s family is so much more intimate than we are…” she looked back at him, her eyes tearing up again. “If… if we’re not family, then what are we?”
Caleb dashed towards her, pulling her into his arms. “I’m never leaving your side, Pip-squeak. We don’t need labels. But… if it would put you at ease, I’ll start calling you my sister more. So don’t cry.”
Yeah, who cared about all the eyes on them, the label they were forced to live with? It was none of their business. They would make it whatever they wanted to be. Everything else can come later.
She had relied on him in the past. Clung to him. Sought him out. He was her protector. He’ll always be her protector. What did it matter what form that took? That was the first promise he made to her. And he wasn’t going to let that be the one that was broken.
It felt silly now. His avoidance. Why was he even fighting it? If she won’t look at him in any other way, if it was the only way he can maintain his relationship with her… then…
He had sealed their fates. There was no going back. She pulled him by the chain wrapped around his neck. He would be her brother until the day this all finally ended.
“I thought you sent me to the attic because you were embarrassed by me…” the girl laughed. “You haven’t been around much. It felt like you were avoiding me.”
Caleb shook his head. “I kept my distance so you would be bullied less. Even without me, you still have Grandma. I have no one. You’re all I have. If anything, you’re the one leaving me behind.”
He had thought that she still was far behind him. But the truth was, he could never dream to get on her level.
He wasn’t ahead. He was behind, always behind her. She shone brightly while he still wallowed in the dark. He could never live up to expectations, could never let go of his attachment. No. He was the one who couldn't get a hold of her anymore.
Why won’t she lean on him anymore? Why couldn’t she see she needed protecting? He could protect her better than anybody else. This proved that she couldn’t handle everything on her own. So why… why did she keep avoiding him and going to others? He used to be the first person she clung to. But now she had other people in her life, and he was still walking in her shadow. Never good enough.
“You have Grandma too,” the girl said. “I wish you could see that.”
“Nah, you’re her favorite,” Caleb poked her cheek. Then whispered. “Why did you do it? If you were that scared.”
Why listen to me?
He didn’t deserve it. His desperation to protect had put those tears in her eyes, the scars in her mind. He could never erase that part of him.
“Because I trust you,” the girl said without hesitation. “Because I wanted to prove myself to you, so you wouldn’t have to worry about me anymore.”
No, he was the one who needed to prove himself.
His hands clenched. He almost lost her again. He wasn’t sure if he even ever had her in the first place. He knew… he knew the right thing to do was to let her grow stronger without him. He couldn’t be there forever, and she needed to stand on her own toes for when their paths inevitably crossed again so that they could still be equals… so that, when they fought each other, it would be as true opponents.
But… he never intended for her to be the one to leave him.
And yet, even now, she looked at him. Really looked at him. He still had her. He had gone crazy for no reason. Those eyes saw something in him that he couldn’t see. He was worried if she looked for even a second longer, his whole act would crumble and she would see him for who he truly was, rather than the person she thought he was. He wanted her to keep seeing someone else in him, a good part he didn’t know he had, forever.
No one else would give him this second chance. She’s the only one who accepted him. He had to make sure he didn’t ruin it again, that she wouldn’t throw him away once she saw all his ugly parts.
“Oh,” the girl rushed out, her eyes widening. “Do you really think that someone else will steal me away? Zayne is… just a friend, you know. I admire him.”
Then why are you blushing with that dreamy look in your eyes as you mention him?
Caleb swallowed. “And those girls… I don’t even know who they are. You’re the only girl who matters to me. And you’ll always be the only girl.”
“Seems like we misunderstood each other again,” the girl giggled. “Will our lives ever be not filled with misunderstandings?”
Caleb pushed her shoulder. A sweet silence descended upon them.
The girl yawned. “Gege… can you read me a story?”
Caleb quirked an eyebrow. “A story? How old are you, again?”
“Please. Grandma’s been reading to me.”
“…Fine. Which one?”
“This one.”
The girl revealed a book that she had been hiding behind her back. She must have been browsing through the books stocked up in here while she was locked in.
Caleb looked at the cover, his expression unreadable. She bit her lip, nervous he would refuse her again… but he opened the book.
“Once upon a time, there lived a hero…”
If she was the hero, then did that make him the villain?
“You’re my hero, Caleb.”
Caleb’s eyes widened.
Such a precious opportunity, yet also a heavy burden. Would he ever live up to that role? Could he? It was his fault she was stuck here. He never even had the chance to properly apologize to her yet. But she thought he had come to rescue her, and he hadn’t wanted to disappoint her. He was still lying to her, as always. Would the lies ever end?
But when he turned his head for answers, she had already fallen asleep against his shoulder.
“Then you’re my savior.”
He whispered, kissing the top of her head.
#####
Since this kinda gets addressed— In my fic, the reason why MC only sometimes says “gege” is because she is technically still unused to the term after saying “Caleb” for so long at the shelter and lab, even if she doesn’t remember those times well. It is also because English and saying their Western names is encouraged to prepare for the “real world” and international relations. This is to make sure their Western and Chinese names can be used together for both types of audiences.
She says “gege” whenever she has a demand or is scared/goes to him as a brother.
She says “Caleb” whenever she gets super personal (speaking to Caleb as a person, rather than just her brother—ironically, whenever she’s feeling closer than family), angry, or serious.
Furthermore—Caleb is older, so he usually just calls MC by his nickname for her. He never calls her by her name. He doesn’t want to call her a name Josephine gave her. He rarely says “meimei,” although he has come to accept that term more after this chapter.
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Nine: The Melody
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
Hello, yes! I’m alive! Sorry for the two month delay! Another reminder that updates will take longer than usual from now on because I’m writing from scratch and am busier. You can read more about why I am busier here.
But I promise I won’t stop writing! I plan on actually finishing this fic.
To make up for my long hiatus, this chapter is filled with card goodies! There will be references to Frozen Promise, Chilling Crescendo, Zayne’s Mystic Adventure, Zayne’s Festive Blessing, Heartstring Notes, the cat Caleb mentions in Homecoming Wings, and more Lemurian lore.
This chapter also goes into more Caleb’s trauma, Caleb’s ADHD, Zayne’s autism, and Zayne’s mild myopia. Medical stuff, hooray!
*****
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
#####
An unrelenting flurry of white knocked on the windows, mixing with clanking cutlery and the droning buzz from the overhanging TV.
Zayne stared at the plate before him—tapping two fingers on the outer edge of his thigh, syncing to the tiny pangs from the window. Taking a deep breath, he finally raised his hand, reaching out for his chopsticks. But in the end, all he did was give a tiny poke. The carrot rolled across his plate. He glared at it in disdain.
Pathetic. I’m so pathetic. He peeked at the girl across from him, who was already munching away, her cheeks puffed out like a baby squirrel’s. She hadn’t even glanced in his direction since dinner began. Zayne hoped they were making progress, but he must have messed up again. Or maybe redeeming himself and improving their relationship was a lost cause. Zayne gripped his chopsticks. What was he even doing? This wasn’t like him.
He sighed. Ignoring the carrot, he prodded at the meat with his chopsticks. Focus on the food, not the girl. His mouth opened, but the food never touched his tongue.
Something cold landed on his cheek. It slid down, dropping onto the table below. A glop of mashed potatoes.
“Whoops,” a cool voice stated. “My finger slipped.”
Zayne shifted his eyes to the chair next to the girl, where the glare of Caleb’s chopsticks pointed at him.
“Xia Yizhou!” a stern voice came from the head of the table. “What did we say about playing with your food?”
Caleb’s eyes flashed, then dimmed. “Playing with prey is not efficient unless the goal is to cause prolonged suffering with a confession or coercion in mind. But you must not attach any emotion behind it. Before I get too attached, I must go straight for a swift end.”
His voice sounded so… robotic. Like he was repeating something that had been told to him over and over again. The room fell silent.
Josephine cleared her throat. “Yes… what he means is, you shouldn’t get attached to food you’re going to eat. Procrastination makes it go cold.”
Zayne tilted his head. That explanation didn’t sound quite right.
“Oh, Caleb! You can be so serious sometimes,” the girl chimed in, breaking the tension with her perky voice. “You’re still a kid. Stop rushing into military school without me!”
Caleb blinked, and the fog in his eyes disappeared as he turned to face the girl, his shoulders relaxing. His frown slowly twitched upwards, although there still remained a solemness to it. “My bad, Pip-squeak. I must have forgotten my manners again.”
Josephine clapped her hands. “That’s right! You must forgive him. Caleb had a… troubled upbringing that he’s never been fully able to get rid of. I keep telling him how to behave around others, but he still has not fully assimilated to society. Nothing sticks with that one. He has a hard time focusing.”
The lab. Zayne traced the edge of his plate with his chopsticks, scraping at the bits of food.
“Poor dear,” Zayne’s mother said, shaking her head. “You know, Josephine, if he ever needs help, we know a few good psychiatrists.”
Caleb’s hands shook, his grip tightening around the chopsticks until his knuckles turned white. Raising it high, he then slammed the blunt edges down, stabbing the chopsticks through the meat, until the red myoglobin juice seeped out. It shouldn’t have been possible, but somehow Caleb was able to turn anything into a weapon. “No. Doctors.”
His gaze stayed on Zayne as he said that. Zayne gulped.
“Ahem,” Zayne’s father interrupted. “This food is… rather bland. No seasoning?”
Zayne’s mother nudged him with a shush, but Josephine waved it away.
“No, not in this house. Caleb has sensitive tastes, you see. He does not appreciate herbs, especially cilantro. So we avoid spices.”
“Oh, that sounds like our Zaynie!” Zayne’s mother perked up, eager to find something in common to talk about. She gestured to the lone carrot on Zayne’s plate. “He cannot stand cross-contamination. And while he eats healthily, he will never touch carrots. Such an odd preference for a boy who usually has none…”
“They don’t taste like anything,” Zayne defended himself. “And when they do, the taste is… artificial. But what bothers me the most is the appearance. It simply just does not look edible.”
Zayne poked at the carrot with his chopsticks again, grimacing. It was almost enough to make him gag.
Zayne’s mother tapped her chin. “Although, it’s strange. He didn’t used to feel so vehemently about carrots until… you know. That’s also when he developed a liking towards sweets. A boy who never once cared about food, now suddenly being picky…”
“That is not entirely the case,” Zayne insisted. “Just… I rather taste something, than nothing at all. Sweets have stronger tastes. But it’s not like I only eat sweets. I’m not a small child.”
The girl giggled. “That’s funny. You look the type to have a strict diet. Who would’ve thought? You always beat expectations.”
“It’s not that amazing,” Caleb rolled his eyes.
“You say that, but your tastes are actually similar to his,” the girl flicked his forehead. “You can’t survive without lemons.”
“It’s the only thing that makes him concentrate,” Josephine sighed. “Since he refuses to see a doctor, it is our only solution.”
Caleb swatted her hand away. “They go down easier than the green stuff does. But they have just enough pinch to keep my senses awake.” He turned his gaze back to Zayne, searing holes into his forehead. “Besides, lemons just pass the time. My real favorite is apples. They bring us together while keeping the… bad people away.”
“Yeah, apples suit you more,” the girl patted his shoulder. Then turned back to Zayne. “While Zayne is… more like a pear. Narrow, but also round, and sweet, even though he looks more like a vegetable. Apples and pears can both be green, but they taste very differently. Apples can surprise you with their bitterness.”
“Dummy, what are you even going on about?” Caleb looked at her like she grew a second head. Then gazed Zayne up and down. “Hm. Though his head does look like a pear, doesn’t it?”
“Excuse me?” Zayne was having trouble keeping up with this conversation.
The girl chuckled, then slammed her hands over her mouth to hide her bursts. “I mean… it’s a compliment, Zayne! We’re calling you sweet.”
“Sure,” Caleb shrugged, utterly unimpressed.
“Anyways,” the girl piped back up, “If you don’t like carrots, I can eat them for you.”
I don’t need a nanny!
“Hey. No stealing food from others,” Caleb pinched her cheek. “I already give you my cilantro. You don’t need to eat his carrots. He’s a growing boy.”
“So are you, Caleb!”
“Yeah, but only you can eat my cilantro. No one else. I can’t have you swapping jobs on me.”
“Perhaps you both should look in a mirror and take care of yourselves first before worrying about somebody else,” Zayne said, pointing to his mouth. “You got crumbs all over your cheeks. How can you possibly eat like that? Do you even chew your food?”
The girl sulked in her seat. Caleb scowled at him, placing his hand over the back of her chair. “Right back at you.”
Zayne blushed. He had forgotten. He quickly wiped the smudge on his cheek with a napkin, looking away from them. He really had no idea what was coming over him. He only wanted to remove the attention from him to something else. Zayne crumpled the napkin as he thought about her downtrodden face once more.
The gentle white noise of the TV on the wall flickered then blared as the channel entered a news segment.
“We have reached a groundbreaking discovery regarding the ancient civilization, Lemuria!”
All three adults paused mid-bite. Josephine peeked at the girl, whose face was scrunched in concentration. “Lemuria? What’s that?”
“You don’t know what Lemuria is?” Josephine blinked, her fingers twitching around her chopsticks. The girl shook her head as the news continued.
“According to reports and photographic evidence from Xander Sciences, a leading research facility in Lemurian studies that has replaced the faulty Gaia Research Center, Lemuria does exist! It is believed that the climate changes of the Catastrophe had caused the tides to rise and thus revealed ruins of the abandoned city near Hat Island, the long rumored resting place of Lemurians. The only question is… where are they now? Do Lemurians still exist? Scientists are currently scouting the land for samples. It is expected that this can create head waves for Protocore technology. However, it is advised you do not venture into the area for now, as Hat Island has become overrun by Wanderers and fluctuations. The Hunters Association plans on calling it a no-hunt zone similar to the infamous N-109 Zone, the scene of the crime, so tourism at this spot has been shut down indefinitely as the hunters and Xander Sciences take care of matters.”
“Oh… I feel strange,” the girl mumbled. “Like we just lost something important. But I can’t place it.”
“There’s no need to stress if you don’t know anything about it in the first place,” Caleb covered her ears. “It’s bad for your heart.”
“Those fools,” Josephine mumbled. “Those resources are fragile and limited. They never should have been touched.”
“EVER must be using Xander Sciences in the same way that they were using Gaia,” Zayne’s mother mused. “Which means no one will be allowed near the project without facing consequences.”
“Gaia… isn’t that part of the team you used to lead, Ms. Zhang?” Zayne asked. “So you must know a lot.”
Josephine stiffened. “Yes… I suppose you can say that. But it was a long time ago. I’m no longer a scientist.”
“But then you can confirm or deny the rumors. Did Gaia really start the Catastrophe and conduct illegal experiments?”
Josephine glanced at the girl and Caleb. They both carried blank stares, as if they weren’t even present in the conservation. Zayne had a hunch it must have been linked to the amnesia the girl exhibited—a defense mechanism to block out anything that had occurred there. But was it natural, or induced?
“Zayne… that’s not polite,” his mother warned.
“It’s only natural for him to be curious,” Josephine sighed. “But yes, that’s confidential information. I’m afraid I can’t indulge you.”
That is just as good as a yes. Zayne turned his gaze back to the TV. “Science shouldn’t interfere with nature. It should only be used to help it, not harm it. Harming it can upset the order and make humans lazy. That’s what Dr. Fang taught me. That’s what I believe.”
Josephine smiled sadly at him. “Yes… it was wrong for science to have interfered in the first place. But humans are greedy creatures. They wish to live. Become equal. Achieve the impossible. So they’ll find any method they can to ensure that. But that’s what makes Protocores so dangerous.”
Everyone nodded in agreement… except for Caleb, who finally fixed his gaze on them. “I don’t think they’re dangerous.”
They all turned their heads to him. “The world has always been unfair. None of us asked for this to happen. But now that it’s happened, we have to make the most of it, or else all the suffering we are going through would be for nothing. You have to take that suffering with your own hands and build something new. That’s how we grow as a race. If Protocores can help us achieve our full potential as limited human beings… if they can solve all of our problems…” Caleb’s voice trailed off into a whisper as his gaze shifted to the girl, gritting his teeth, “Then doesn’t that make them good? We’ve already been exposed to them. It’s part of who we are now. No sense in defying progress if that is our only option. Instead of holding back our base desires, shouldn’t we focus on satisfying them so they don’t run rampant? Does following our desires and wanting to live as the best version of ourselves really make us monsters?”
Caleb placed his hand over his heart, as if proving a point. Zayne looked down. “But it never should’ve existed in the first place if it had remained untouched. Those monsters—”
“That’s not our fault,” Caleb said. “The blame lies within the people who created it, not the beings who were born from it against their will. If you were to root out the problem, we can overcome all of that.”
“Your views are dangerously similar to EVER’s,” Zayne narrowed his eyes.
“Perhaps,” Caleb tilted his head. “At first sight, maybe. But there’s more layers to my views. I believe in progress if it helps my own interests, but I’m against scientists just as much. Maybe one day you’ll understand that Protocores have more value than you give them.”
“Ugh, my head hurts!” the girl screeched. “It’s bad enough that Caleb talks weird, but now I have to deal with two boys who talk like Einstein?”
Zayne’s father coughed. “Indeed. Zayne has always been a child genius, but I didn’t expect your grandson to be so into politics, Josephine.”
“Well…” Josephine tugged on her collar. “You know how it is… he can’t keep it in sometimes. He isn’t aware that those views can get him hurt if he speaks so casually about them.”
Caleb blinked, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry, Pip-squeak. I keep getting carried away today, huh? I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”
“On that note, perhaps we should get going,” Zayne’s mother pushed her chair back from the table and stood up. But when she moved to the door, the wind howled from outside, and a cascade of white blocked the windows.
“Oh my, it’s really coming down,” Josephine frowned. “Must be part of the climate change. We used to rarely ever get snow, but now snowfalls are becoming more common, even in summer.”
Zayne could feel his parents gazing at him. His face heated up.
“Yes… all the more reason why we should go. Thank you for the meal, Josephine. Remember our offer about Caleb, though. If he ever changes his mind,” Zayne’s father scrutinized him wearily.
“Hm, perhaps you should stay,” Josephine said. “I’d hate for you to be out in this weather. We have a guest room and a sofa.”
“Oh no, we couldn’t impose any further,” Zayne’s mother waved her hands. “The meal was already more than enough.”
“Why not? Sleep overs can help with engagement. Zayne and Caleb need more time to get used to each other, and I’m sure once Caleb gets more familiar with Zayne he’ll turn it down a few notches.”
Zayne’s mother bit her lip as she glanced at Zayne, then outside. “I…”
“If I’m the issue, then I promise to behave myself,” Caleb spoke. “Zayne should stay.”
“Oh, yes! Caleb has been so eager to start cooking. Since Zayne has delicate tastes, he should find out more about what dishes to make for next time.”
Stay? Next time? But all Zayne could say was, “You cook?”
With those horrible manners and disrespect for food?
“Why, is that surprising? Gran says the quickest way to someone’s heart is through homemade meals. I’ve also heard you always remember a good meal,” Caleb blinked innocently at Zayne, then gazed at the girl beside him. A certain look entered his eyes as his voice went a tad lower, “I wanted to test if that was true.”
Maybe it’s just me.
Zayne’s ears were ringing. He swallowed, but it wasn’t enough. His mouth was so dry. His face was steadily growing hotter, but at the same time, a chill enveloped his hands. The snow outside was harsh, the frantic dance mirroring the turmoil inside him. He was one with the snow.
“Zayne… what’s that on your arm?” her voice broke through the haze.
Zayne jolted in his seat. Both siblings were gazing at something below him. He followed their gaze to find that his sleeve had rolled back, showing a peek of black patterns encasing his wrist. He yanked his sleeve down over it, tucking his arm away. He averted his gaze. “M-mind your own business for once, will you? Hasn’t anyone told you it’s rude to stare?”
Her eyes widened. She looked down, fisting her hands on her lap. He swore he could hear a light sniffle from her. Caleb shifted his gaze from Zayne’s wrist to narrow his eyes at him.
Ugh, another thing I’ll have to apologize for later.
“God, we can’t even open the door,” Zayne’s father scratched his head after jiggling the knob to no avail. “Guess we have no choice in the matter, anyways.”
“Will the kids truly be alright?” Zayne’s mother fretted.
Zayne took a few deep breaths before turning to his mother. “I’ll calm down. I’ll even take the sofa.”
Staying here was a bad idea.
But he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he didn’t solve this, and the adults were already moving to their arrangements, cementing the decision in stone. So he got up from his chair, taking a few steps towards the girl, but she had already hopped off and sped into a back room before he could ever reach her.
She slammed the door shut behind her, leaving behind only the scent of jasmines in her wake. Zayne scrunched his nose. He only knew the scent because of his dreams. Why did she smell like jasmines?
He looked down at his empty hands once more. That was the second time she evaded him today. And what felt like the thousandth time he had scared her or upset her accidentally over all. He sighed, clutching his open palm into a fist. Was this how Caleb felt? Always so close, but never fully able to grasp onto her? But then why did he still cling onto her? If she even evaded Caleb, her favorite person, how could he ever think he can repair their relationship? As if they even had anything to begin with. He wanted to kick himself.
Zayne wanted to run after her… and do what, exactly?
But he didn’t have time to answer that internal question. Caleb swiftly appeared in front of him, blocking him from the girl’s bedroom door.
Zayne’s eyes shifted to the window as lightning flashed across the dark sky and thunder boomed. Thundersnow? That was weird. That never happened before whenever he caused the weather. But the air around him suddenly felt that much more dense… as if another force was colliding with his own Evol.
He slowly moved his gaze back to Caleb, whose eyes seemed to flash along with the lightning. Surely not. The shadows and light played across his face, and his black hole eyes were sucking him in. It was more like when he had first seen the boy. Empty, dead.
“I don’t like outsiders,” Caleb said simply. His voice was cold, monotone. Like he wouldn’t have bothered with this conversation, if it hadn’t concerned her. The voice struck through his heart, and it took all of Zayne’s willpower to suppress a shiver. He could feel it, the innate sense that something was wrong with this boy, the instinct he had when he met him.
Zayne could affect the weather, but what were the odds the weather could affect Caleb?
“I’ve noticed,” Zayne said, pushing his shoulders back in a brave front.
“You need to earn the right,” Caleb hissed at him. “If she still doesn’t trust you, then you can’t approach her. And if I don’t trust you, I won’t ever let you approach her. And I’m much harder to please. The moment you screw up? You’re out. Hurt her again, and I’ll make sure your death is more painful. I won’t let you get in our way.”
“I’m honestly surprised. I know you’re not one to care for others. Why are you so invested in her? And why are you so bothered by me?”
Caleb didn’t answer. He just continued to glare at Zayne, his mouth curling back as he let out a little growl. Zayne sighed, looking down. “Give me some time. If she is still scared of me by the end of this year, and if I can’t make things work, I’ll leave. Just let me focus on giving her joy this year.”
That seemed to appease Caleb, for now. He gave a single nod. Before turning on his heel, he said over his shoulder, “I’ll give you some advice, just to help you out. You can’t force things. You’ve seen her condition. She needs to warm up to you again. So get some rest. Don’t take it too personally.”
Then he disappeared behind his own bedroom door. Zayne frowned, tilting his head. Why on earth would Caleb of all people feel the need to give him advice?
He wanted to go after the girl, to explain himself, to say something to her, but he didn’t know what, and she was probably fast asleep by now. She seemed the type. Unpredictable. Maybe Caleb had a point.
Listening to his parent’s murmurs in the guest room, Zayne trudged his way to the sofa, where he would be sleeping.
As Zayne laid down under the blankets, he glanced at the door that hid the girl from him. He popped in his ear buds, and turning on his phone, he selected a song. His ears rang as loud brass and percussion banged around in his head. A chaotic disorder of noise. To any other person, the music probably would’ve kept them up, but the sounds gave Zayne a sense of comfort as his eyes drooped to a close.
Back at the hospital, while he had been still reeling from the shock, Zayne had found himself scrolling on his phone, desperate to distract his mind. The song had popped up on his feed—a heavy metal band, playing in the center of the Catastrophe. It was the first sound he heard besides the buzz at the hospitals. He had never bothered with music before, thinking all music was grating on the ears, and yet… he had come to cling onto this song in the middle of all the despair.
Whenever he played the song before bed, his nightmares were usually held at bay. It drowned out the screams. Like a good luck charm.
But now, as he glanced at the door once more, he discovered something else that could help him sleep at night. The sound of her breathing, the sound of her heartbeat. The sound of her by his side.
He knew, without a doubt, that he couldn’t survive without sound again.
*****
The winter break had come to an end as the new year drew to a close. Classes had started back up again, and Zayne was once again looking at his planners that he had been using since elementary school. He had hoped to accomplish some things before his inevitable move next year, but as he flipped through the pages, running his index finger over his neat handwriting, he passed by so many goals he failed to achieve.
“Go to the Linkon New Year Lantern Festival and make a Linkon New Year's lantern." He had started writing in these planners as a way to… become “normal.” Zayne was a smart student, but he failed to understand human emotions and perspective, so his parents suggested he write stuff in the planner based on what other children his age did. He had tried his best, but he mainly used the planners to help plan out his agenda ahead of time, as he could not stand the chaos of the unknown and unpredictable, and thus often could not find the time to fit in extra activities, not that he even had any reason to go. It was all just a silly, foolish dream… but for some reason, Zayne found himself wanting to do all the things listed in his planner. A flash of a girl and her smile floated in his mind. He batted it all away. Letting out a long sigh, he closed his planner and fixed his gaze outside.
Zayne’s house was situated in the suburbs, just before the town blended into tall skyscrapers. Over the past few months, he had come to know the path very well.
Stepping out his door and heading down the steps, he then took a sharp turn to his right, and kept walking straight. He crossed three intersections, reaching the end of the block that opened back to the main city streets. At the edge was the park he passed almost every morning.
The park was a fresh area of green. As he got closer, he could make out the specific trees and flowers. The shapes solidified—a brand new red swing set rested in the middle, surrounded by sidewalk.
His vision wavered, overlapping with images of the past. The park reminded him of the encroaching vine on the rundown shelter walls, the swaying branches of a pagoda tree, the broken down swing set…
Perhaps I should take her here someday, if we have time.
He immediately shook his head. He had been acting strange ever since he met her, thinking of all the could have beens. He was going to leave, anyway. Why did he keep making promises he couldn’t fulfill? He wasn’t Caleb.
He turned on his heel, going to his right once more and maintaining the single line until he reached the corner where a strip of various shops rested. Right before hitting the next major intersection, Zayne stopped in front of one of the shops.
The jingle signified his entrance as he pushed open the doors.
“Oh, Zayne! We were just about to feed them. Do you want to help?”
A series of barks and mews followed. Zayne silently approached a den of pets, but as soon as he rested his hands on the gate, the pets cowered into a corner and curled into balls.
“Don’t give up, Zayne! Remember what we taught you.”
He had been coming here more frequently, ever since the wild animals returned. The living, breathing creatures and their noisy clamors provided a sense of comfort after months of silence. It reminded him of what they had lost, and what they had regained. He thought it best to not take life’s offerings for granted ever again. Ever since the incident, he had found himself appreciating life. Or perhaps more accurately, he simply wanted to learn how to appreciate life, what made life so special.
At any rate, his new fondness for noise had led his parents to mistakenly believe he must have an affinity to music, so they had been taking him to piano lessons for the past month. His liking to sound did not equal adept talent. Which was why the electronic keyboard they had given him for practice was only collecting dust.
The pet shop staff talked amongst themselves as they watched Zayne struggle to get the animals to approach his hand filled with food.
“Quick, quick! I swear I saw him go this way!”
Zayne froze. He recognized that airy melody, the scent of jasmines that tingled his nose.
“Remember, Zayne. They live just on the other side of town. The park splits us from the middle.”
…Crud.
Zayne immediately ducked behind a pile of boxes as the door jingled once more.
When the door closed, Zayne peeked through a tiny gap to see two blurry figures come into focus. He squinted at them to get a better view. If he hadn’t recognized their voices, it would have been too late. His nearsightedness, mild myopia, had never given him much trouble before. But now he was wondering if he should invest in those everyday glasses his parents kept going on about, just so he would never be caught off guard again. It felt like his eyesight had only gotten worse since meeting those two. With glasses, he could remain more vigilant of his surroundings outside his books. He would get better at the game.
“I don’t see anyone.”
“Aw, I was so sure he was here…”
The girl pouted at Caleb. Caleb scratched his head.
“Who did you even see…?”
“Zayne! Don’t you remember?”
Caleb frowned. “Doesn’t ring a bell.”
Does he… truly not remember me? Zayne had been under the impression that only the girl had amnesia. But was Caleb simply hiding his own struggles, as per usual? He recalled the way he had looked at dinner, dissociated and robotic. Perhaps…
The girl sighed, interrupting Zayne’s thoughts. “I’m the one who is supposed to have the memory issues, not you. What am I going to do if we both forget?”
“Well, at least we match,” Caleb ruffled her hair. “Although, I don’t like the idea of your memory getting better than mine. It’s been sticking more and more lately, huh?”
She nodded. “But yours seems to be getting worse.”
“It’s because I have a lot to remember, if I want to make sure you don’t forget,” Caleb lifted one shoulder. “But I also just don’t care enough to remember anyone who isn’t you.”
Hm, so that’s the real reason.
“Caleb!”
“It’s true. But I must say, who is this Zayne? I thought I was the only one who you would run to.”
“You really don’t remember? He was at our house a couple weeks ago. The family of doctors. Friends of Grandma.”
Caleb’s brow furrowed. Then suddenly, his eyes darkened. “Pear head? You’re still obsessed with that guy? Didn’t he scare you with his whole high and mighty preacher act?”
Zayne grimaced. He didn’t know how to feel about that being his new nickname. He knew his surname was Li, but to describe his appearance as a pear itself…
“Yeah, well… he acts more like an adult than a child, which makes him seem scary, but… have you seen his eyes? I think he may be the same as us. Lonely. It makes me want to reach out to him, even though I fear him.”
He sucked in a breath. He had noticed. Not from a distance, but whenever they were close. The way she would still tremble before him despite giving him a smile. The way her eyes glistened but she brushed it off with childish humor. He had deluded himself into thinking those tiny gestures meant he still had hope to repair things with her, to get closer to her and see if she can make him feel the same way she made Caleb feel. But he had to get rid of that fear for any real progress to be made. And how was he supposed to do that, when all she did was pity him? He must look more pathetic than he thought. His mask was slipping, or they saw through everything.
Caleb bit his lip. “You think I wouldn’t notice? I can see it better than anyone else. But that doesn’t mean we need to shelter him with us. There’s not enough room for three.”
As if I even wanted you to save me, anyways.
“Can’t you try for me, Gege?”
“Where’s my ‘baby sister’ who begged me to come with her and hold her hand because she was too scared to wander the neighborhood by herself yet?”
She didn’t answer. Caleb sighed, looking around the shop. “He’s probably hiding somewhere, the coward. While we’re here, why don’t we get some food for the kitten?”
The girl perked up. “And toys?”
“Sure, whatever you want, Pip-squeak. We’ll use up all the money Gran gave us.”
The siblings dispersed, with Caleb coming closer to where Zayne was. Zayne shrunk himself even lower. He watched as Caleb grabbed one of the collars hanging from the shelf. He flicked his finger at the round bell in the center, which gave a soft ring. He peeked at the girl, which had wandered off closer to the pets, and stashed it inside his pocket.
Zayne narrowed his eyes. But a sudden itch took hold of the tip of his nose, and he averted his gaze to sneeze into his elbow. When he looked back, Caleb was gone.
“Where—?”
“Looking for me?”
Zayne jumped, almost toppling the tower in front of him. Caleb snaked his arm around his torso and pulled him back to his chest.
“Careful. You didn’t want to be caught by her, right?” He titled his head. “For someone who claims to know everything with just one single glance, you sure love to hide a lot. Are you scared to see something you don’t like?”
Zayne brought his elbow back, shaking Caleb off him. “I didn’t give you permission to touch me. Why are you even here?”
“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? She and I are nursing a stray kitten.”
“And that collar?”
Caleb just grinned mysteriously at him. “She often gets into trouble when she’s out of sight. This way, I can know where she is if she’s in danger.”
Zayne shivered. “Creep. Some animals like to be independent. You shouldn’t restrain them too much.”
“Yeah, says the one spying on us,” Caleb rolled his eyes. “You don’t do a very good job at it, by the way.”
“Caleb! You found Zayne? Not fair!”
Oh no.
“Yeah, Pip-squeak. He’s right—”
Before he could finish, Zayne zoomed past them and rushed out the door, the jingle proving his exit. His ears turned red.
If she ever mentioned this encounter to him, he would just pretend it wasn’t him she saw. But with any luck, she would have forgotten about this as well.
He still had a long way to go before inviting her to go to festivals with him.
I know it’s been almost two months since I last posted. In my head I thought I would get done sooner, so that’s why I didn’t post any update about what’s going on, but since it keeps stretching out, I decided to just write an author’s note to keep you all informed.
The truth is, I recently got a second job, so I’m working a day job and a night job which has taken up most of my time. Then, I was preparing for C2E2 (which was super fun and I got all the LaDs goodies, I really needed that weekend to myself), so all my attention was going towards that. That’s why I haven’t been able to post anything for a while. And in the future, updates may continue to take a month or more due to my new lifestyle of juggling two jobs. Ideally I’ll eventually get just one job, but for now I need to make ends meet with what I got.
However, I do have good news— I AM ALMOST DONE WITH THE NEXT CHAPTER. I haven’t been able to write super fast, but I’m still always writing whenever I have down time! Now that everything is settling back down, I hope to finish the chapter by either this week or next week. To make up for the long hiatus in between, this chapter is gonna be another super long one and will have SEVERAL lore references to events mentioned in Zayne and Caleb cards. So I hope the wait was worth it and you all will enjoy!
If you wish to be tagged next chapter and future chapters so you can stay up to date whenever I go MIA for a while in between, just let me know either through the comments or a dm!
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Eight: The Hunter
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
This chapter is somewhat inspired by Yearly Nostalgia, as well as Zayne’s and Caleb’s Royal Masque AU stories! I wanted to play around with some parallels.
I also dive into more context on Caleb’s behavior and his trauma with Josephine now that he has to act all nice with his previous tormenters. I’ve been seeing people say that they want to see more of that (so do I), so I hope this fic delivers!
*****
Sorrrryyyy for the long delay once again! I forgot to mention, but there will probably be longer breaks between each chapter now. This is because I’ve gotten to a point where I’m writing mainly from scratch, because I’ve caught up to all my pre-written chapters and outline. I’ve been slowly making an outline for the next chapters, but since I’m writing as I go, it may be a bit more difficult for me to write without hitting a block, as I did for this chapter. So please be patient! The “once a month updates” are starting to reign true after posting every 1-2 weeks with previous chapters. I may consider doing a tag list soon, so you guys can stay notified and not forget if I ever take too long to update again.
I had to rewrite this chapter a couple of times (this is why it took me a while—in addition to being busy). Not sure if I like it enough yet, but once again, had to publish at some point!
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WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, graphic violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
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Caleb exhaled through his nose. His jaw ached as his tongue tossed around a smooth pebble, coating the inside of his mouth with a bright sour sting. His teeth scraped and squeaked against the hard surface. Crack.
His eyes opened. His teeth loosened from their firm hold with a pop, the granules tingling down his throat. The breeze whistled in his ears, in sync with the rustle of leaves. He almost missed it. Caleb bent his head to the left, then to the right. He lifted his shoulders up, then rolled them back, down, far as they could go. Creak. Snap.
Whirling 180 degrees, Caleb hoisted his arms to eye level. He pulled his right elbow back, squinting.
Ready, set, aim…
Fire.
Zayne came tumbling down, his knees skidding in the dirt. The ball that had hit him square in the chest rolled its way back to Caleb.
This is the boy who was tasked with watching us?
With a flick of his fingers, the ball shot up into Caleb’s palm. He stared at the snapped twig by Zayne’s feet, a puddle of dead leaves scattering in the air. “Too easy. Where’s the challenge? I can hear you coming from a mile away.”
Zayne coughed, spitting out a leaf that had gone into his mouth. Wiping his arm across his lips, he looked up, narrowing his eyes. “I thought this was just practice. Aren’t you taking this too far?”
Caleb finally met his gaze. He really hated those green eyes. “We’re in the middle of war. Don’t you have combat experience? You wouldn’t even survive on the battlefield. What a waste of time.”
Caleb wanted… no, needed to see him lose control. Just like that day. Anything to justify his hatred, his suspicions. The girl failed as a witness, so the only way Caleb could prove his own memory was with concrete evidence.
Those green eyes brought back to mind his first ever snowfall. The vivid white landscape broke through the gray fog that clouded all other thoughts. Blobs crowding his vision fell away into the initial few snowflakes dropping from the sky. The snowflakes then intersected and created an almond vesica that poked through that white, almost beautiful, curtain—staring into his soul, judging his very being. The white sharpened to a dark, vibrant green covered by black frost. The black frost quickly encompassed everything around it, once again concealing the world in an empty darkness, until nothing white remained. Caleb had never seen such an abundance of white and black before, consuming each other whole. A sign that they could never coexist without bringing mass destruction.
It took some time for Caleb to recognize those eyes, from a more distant past. Back then, the boy did not seem like a threat. A tall boy with round cheeks, not a hint of muscle to be found, untouched by strenuous labor. A boy who had not yet lost his innocence. He had kept his head down, trailing behind the trio of doctors, a duckling afraid to stray from the flock. Caleb had guessed he was shy, a typical boy of his age who followed the status quo like everybody else. Boring, dull. But then… why did the boy’s gaze follow him like a magnet, searing into him? He would look away, only to come dragging back, biting his lip as the doctors went on and on about treatment plans. Caleb kept his face straight, refusing to meet that gaze, the gaze that tore him apart.
Perhaps it was inevitable. The boy had strayed too far after all, despite having been so reluctant. His detour caused him to inadvertently fall right into Caleb’s path, and their eyes clashed at last. Caleb had been surrounded by green, transported from the makeshift infirmary to a silent forest. Even then, Caleb had hated those eyes—the judgment and the loneliness that reflected his own. He had hated them so much, that his own gaze transformed into a mighty glare. The boy jumped, bright eyes widening. A deer caught in headlights. Then his lips began to twitch, in what must have been some silly attempt of a sheepish smile, as he held Caleb’s gaze. Those eyes lingered on him for a few seconds longer, before vanishing behind the door. And he never saw the boy again.
With time, those eyes dissolved into the background, blending in with everyone else, tucked away into the space never perceivable by Caleb. The boy became nothing more than yet another lost piece in a massive, unsolvable, puzzle. Another fleeting encounter with no meaning. But that snowy day sent Caleb through time, unlocking the box that stored away his memories. Caleb had not gotten better at remembering faces. It was just that the snow had left an imprint on his soul. Zayne’s eyes burned him, each and every encounter, filling him with an emptiness that he did not want to fall into ever again. Not when he finally had crawled out of that abyss.
A challenge. A worthy opponent. Caleb longed to search for one. He had always been far above others. No one had ever come close. The adults had been so eager to control him, unable to meet his gaze, to see him as anything but a perfect weapon. Only the girl had seen him for who he truly was beyond that label, had looked him in the eye properly. It was so easy to fall under the delusion that he had met an equal, a perfect match, all his own. But now, there was someone who surpassed both of them. Someone else who could hold his gaze. He had been gravely mistaken to underestimate the boy. A mistake he would never make again. Caleb would prove to her that he was a dangerous foe, not a friend.
Zayne broke their staring contest. He stumbled up to his feet, brushing off the dirt from his firmly fitted pants—a stark contrast to Caleb’s loose jeans. Caleb despised stuffy clothing. Zayne leveled Caleb with his cool eyes once more. “They don’t give extensive training to middle schoolers. I am a genius, not a soldier.”
“Pity,” Caleb yawned. “Since you’ve taken those mandatory simulation courses, I thought you could prepare us for the real thing. That’s the only reason why I selected you to be the Wanderer.”
Zayne slouched forward, then recoiled. “Are you even human? I may not be well versed in children’s games, but I don’t think this is how they are supposed to go.”
“You already knew that,” Caleb tilted his head. “It’s too late to back out now. You had your chance, but you agreed to play with us. So you better hold up to that promise. I won’t forgive you if you don’t.”
Zayne opened his mouth, but he never got to speak. He was once again knocked off his feet, hitting the dirt.
“Score! That makes it a tie.”
The girl popped up from behind Zayne, twirling the slingshot around her finger.
“The longer we play, the more unfair this feels,” Zayne muttered.
“I dunno, seems fair to me,” Caleb grunted as he stretched his arms above his head, high as possible, teeter-tottering on his tip toes. He clasped his hands together in a pyramid and brought them behind his head in a laidback pose.
More than fair. He wasn’t even giving it his all.
“Oh, so you have to be hitting me with marble balls?” Zayne raised an eyebrow.
“Well, normally we use the flower petals, but that’s not fun. They don’t aim as well.”
“It’s also winter. Caleb suggested balls for better practice,” the girl frowned, lowering her slingshot. “But I didn’t expect you to fall after a single hit. They’re small and soft, so the impact should not be that hard. Who would’ve thought you’d be so… clumsy?”
Ugh. Caleb clutched at his chest, twisting the fabric of his shirt. That stupid organ screamed inside his chest, pulsing in his ears. A nuisance that had started ever since the shelter, persisting all the way to the city. He rubbed his chapped lips together then swallowed. His face grimaced ever so subtly as his gut bubbled, eating away at his flesh, rising up his tubes until it all threatened to spill out. He smoothed out his shirt, beating his chest as he cleared his throat. He didn’t like this vile feeling. Didn’t like how it affected him so much, how he could not escape. A million bugs had swarmed his mind, an endless buzz of screams, unable to be silenced if she wasn’t by his side.
I need to get him away from her. I can’t lose her again. Can’t lose sight of her again.
Caleb stepped over Zayne, ignoring Zayne’s yelp as he stomped a little too close for comfort. Once he reached the girl’s side, he stuck out his hand to her. “Let’s go, Pip-squeak. We don’t need him. We can play with just the two of us, like we always do.”
This was the part where she realized Zayne would not make a great playmate compared to him. She would view him as no one different from all the children who had avoided her in the past, and Caleb would be there to pick up the pieces. She would take his hand, and he would lead her away from Zayne for once and for all.
But the girl brushed past him, dodging his hand, leaving behind only a breeze in her wake. Wind slipped through the gaps of his fingers. The empty digits twitched, curling inwards, a claw that grasped onto nothing but a phantom. He squeezed his fist, turning it sideways, before falling down to his side. He lowered his head, staring at the space where she had escaped him.
The girl was now at Zayne’s side, bending over him, their foreheads practically touching. “How are you ever going to protect yourself without me? I’m going to have to keep a close eye on you at all times.”
Red painted his cheeks. Zayne scooted back from her, flailing his arms and legs in his desperate attempt to create more distance between them. As the girl blinked at him, brows furrowed, a nervous laugh erupted from his throat, which he covered up with a swift cough. “I’m the oldest one here. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”
The girl rolled her eyes, snatching Zayne’s arm, preventing him from moving any further. Ignoring his protests, she gave the arm a few tugs before holding it limply and shaking her head. “Not with these skills. You may look terrifying, but you still have a long way to go.”
Now it was Zayne’s turn to blink at her, slowly. “I look… terrifying?”
“Yeah, because of your face,” the girl pointed at her cheek, using her finger to push the skin up. Zayne’s eye twitched. “Oh, but not as terrifying as a Wanderer… you’re not nearly strong enough…” she nodded, then hummed, tapping her chin. Her eyes lit up. “Maybe you could use your Evol! It’s against the rules, but Caleb’s been cheating this whole time anyways, so I’ll give you special permission. That should make things more fair, right? And even more realistic…”
Zayne’s face paled. “No!”
The girl startled, backing up from Zayne, dropping his arm. Zayne quickly brought his arm back to his chest, sucking in large gulps of air. His whole body shuddered with each heave. After rocking back and forth a few times, the trembles stopped, and he was able to get back up on his own. He swallowed, looking away from the girl. “Evols aren’t meant to be used so carelessly. Don’t you remember what Dr. Fang said? Too much abuse of power will put strain on your heart. I was tasked with keeping an eye on you to ensure that doesn’t happen. And I can’t guarantee nothing will go wrong when neither of us have much control over our abilities. So let’s end this here, before anyone gets hurt.”
The girl’s shoulders drooped. “But…”
“Don’t make me repeat myself,” Zayne swung his gaze back to her. His hands glowed. “If you find me terrifying now, you’ll see how terrifying I can really be.”
The girl took a step back, then another and another. She hiccuped, her eyes turning glassy, as she hugged herself like some kind of shield. “Gege…?”
Caleb blinked, snapping out of his daze, with just that one word. The noise in his head came to a quiet.
Brother. The title she had bestowed on him. Whenever their eyes met, whenever he rushed to her side and comforted her in his arms, she called him “Gege.” Big brother.
She had never called him that before. At the lab, at the shelter, he was just… Caleb. But after Josephine took them in, things had… changed. Their relationship became strained. It took a while to get her to look at him. And when she finally had… “Gege.” Brother.
That was the line she had drawn. The role she assigned him. And now, the life he lived by.
Her big brother.
And she… his little sister.
That word only made him want to scream.
She wasn’t his sister. They didn’t have parents. He may have been created from the essence of her, but he only saw that as a sign of their connection, their intertwined destinies and bonded souls. They were made from the same source, contained the same energy within their hearts, but they did not share the same blood.
Still, Caleb found himself moving forward. He slid in between them, blocking the girl from Zayne, giving a glower of his own. “Hey. You’re scaring her.”
His voice chilled the air. The oxygen around them swirled into a spiraling vortex, like a giant vacuum. Zayne gasped. The glow faded from his hands. He smacked his cheeks and averted his gaze once more. “I—I didn’t mean…”
Caleb’s lips morphed into a shit-eating grin. “My, my, have you been holding back on us, Zaynie? All because you’re scared of losing a little bit of control? Is that why you take those classes? No need to be responsible for our sakes. It’s not like you owe us anything, right?”
“Zayne… is that true?” she whispered. “You were holding back because you’re scared?”
Zayne hunched his shoulders, rubbing his arms, as if he were trying to wipe away something else. “That’s…”
“Come on, Zaynie,” Caleb took a step closer to Zayne. Zayne stumbled back, his eyes traveling from Caleb to the girl, and back again. “Give us a real show this time. Put those classes to proper use. Be the Wanderer I know you can be. If you’re uncomfortable with her, then you can just fight me one on one instead.”
“Caleb, I think you’re the one scaring him this time.”
“An eye for an eye,” Caleb drawled from over his shoulder. His gaze never left Zayne’s. “We’re still tied, aren’t we? Let’s make this the last round. No more holding back.”
“Huh?” she frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Didn’t you say you wanted to quit, Caleb?”
“I changed my mind,” Caleb said, cracking his knuckles. He stretched out his slingshot, giving the rubber band a good smack. “I’m not finished whipping this Wanderer into shape.”
“Zayne, you were right. Talk Caleb out of this. You both wanted to quit!”
Zayne didn’t move his gaze to the girl again. Instead, he stayed fixed on Caleb. He mumbled under his breath, “This is ironic. Why must I be the Wanderer?”
“You’re backing out?” Caleb tilted his head. Zayne’s eyes wavered.
The girl nodded empathically. “Yes—”
“No,” Zayne sighed, interrupting her, hanging his head. “I’m not.”
The girl’s jaw dropped.
Zayne smiled apologetically at her. “How am I going to protect you, and myself, if I don’t try to get stronger? I can’t have you doing all the work for me.”
The girl pursed her lips. She squinted at Zayne, then let out a simmered groan, throwing her hands in the air. “Ugh, boys. Whatever. But no tricks this time, Caleb!”
Caleb rolled his eyes at her pointed finger. “Don’t worry, Pip-squeak. I won’t hurt him.”
Much.
“That’s not very reassuring,” she glared at him.
Caleb stuck his finger in his ear. “Blah, blah, blah. I can’t hear you.”
“You…!” the girl stomped her foot. Then swung her gaze back to Zayne. “Hey, Zayne, I know you’re the enemy, but how about we form a temporary alliance and get rid of Caleb?”
Zayne’s eyes widened. “Are you…”
Caleb already knew what he was going to say, and he wasn’t about to let him insult her any further. He was sick of that condescending attitude. Just like all the rest. Caleb clucked his tongue at her, cutting Zayne off. “Pip-squeak, you just said no tricks.”
The girl pushed her tongue out and wriggled it at him. “I’m planning ahead.”
“Fine. Enough chit-chat. No alliances. Let’s make this last round count and get this over with,” Zayne clapped his hands.
“Well-said. We can begin on the count of three, two…”
From the corner of his eye, the girl edged forward. Caleb’s lips twitched. He brought his hands behind his back, swiftly flicking a finger.
“One.”
“Xia Yizhou!” the girl shouted at him. “Put me down!”
The girl floated in the air, fighting off an invisible torrent.
Caleb didn’t look back at her. “Sorry, Pip-squeak. But I can’t have you taking my number one spot.”
Even though the lab was now far, far away… remembered only by blurry glimpses… the effects still lingered. The ingrained sense of competition, after months of brutal conditioning, raised to one day consume each other into oblivion, never left. Caleb needed to stay on top of his game. He couldn’t fall back. He especially couldn’t have her getting in his way.
Fate would always pit them against each other. It was inescapable. Caleb constantly lived reminder after reminder that they could never be together, that their coexistence was forbidden. He knew the very moment the girl said she’d become a hunter, their paths would eventually lead them right back to opposing sides.
It had been a shock when the girl announced the decision earlier that month. The three of them had been eating dinner, watching news on TV. The channel was doing a segment on the newly established Hunter’s Association. The reporter put great emphasis on the man behind it all, a figure only known by Lumiere.
“So… his name is Lumiere… and he’s a hunter?” the girl’s eyes sparkled.
“Why the sudden interest, Pip-squeak? He’s nothing special. I’m sure I’m a better big shot than he is.” Caleb squished her face, forcing her head away from the TV.
“Don’t talk about him like that! He saved my life!” she smacked Caleb away, a fierce glare in her eyes. Caleb’s eyes widened ever so slightly.
“Saved your life? What do you mean?” Josephine’s chopsticks paused before it could reach her mouth.
The girl shrunk back in her chair. “Well… I still don’t remember much… but, yes, I’m sure I met him. Before the shelter, I had been wandering the streets, and he saved me from Wanderers.”
She turned her gaze back to the TV, landing on a recruit ad for hunters. She nodded. “Yes… I think… I want to become a hunter! Then maybe one day… I can see him again… and thank him properly.”
Caleb scoffed, crossing his arms, tucking his chin to his chest as he slouched in his chair. “How very noble. He probably doesn’t even remember you. Didn’t you hear? He’s saved half the population.”
“I… am not so sure if that’s a good idea,” Josephine cleared her throat. “Being a hunter means extensive use of your Evol, and you’d be exposed to Wanderers on a daily basis. It’s not safe for you and your condition.”
“I’m not giving up on this. If my heart is the problem, then… I’ll go to that doctor you mentioned. I promise to find a way around that! I don’t want to be seen as hopeless anymore.”
Josephine sighed. “If you’re so determined…”
“You’re agreeing with this?” Caleb whispered. “You’re not gonna fight her on it?”
Josephine spared him a glance. Then put down her chopsticks and took out the notebook she always carried with her, clicking her pen. “Ana… what exactly do you remember of your encounter with this Lumiere?”
Caleb narrowed his eyes on her. Old habits died hard.
Caleb must work even harder to surpass her, to protect her. Being a hunter meant she was putting herself at risk. EVER would eventually catch wind if she truly achieves enough, and then…
Caleb clenched his fists, grinding his teeth together. Zayne had already turned heel and ran as soon as Caleb had trapped the girl.
That’s why he pushed her away. He wouldn’t jeopardize everything this time. Her chosen path had only bound him to his promises even further. Promises—once a blessing, but now… a curse. A cruel reminder that the happiness he tasted with her was fleeting and not meant to last forever.
The whispers of greatness had caressed him when he was at his lowest. He had been so desperate to forget his loneliness, so desperate to belong, that he didn't even stop to care if they were all lies… even now, he struggled to answer if he truly regretted it or not. He couldn’t find himself to feel shame, but this looming anxiety of the future ahead unnerved him. Whether his decision was born out of naivety, he would soon learn.
Caleb had done his research ever since he made up his mind to become a pilot. He would need to go to Skyhaven. Once he established himself there, he would regain the attention of those who have been seeking his uses. But while the pilots and hunters had similar goals of managing the Wanderer crisis, they often butted heads due to their different allegiances.
His bed was already made. Standing firm on this path, he was heading straight back for the lion’s den. After so long of breaking free from their grasp, he was running into the arms that still haunted his nightmares. But instead of the broken boy, they would be welcoming a fellow leopard. He needed to do this, needed to be on their side. He had to ensure he outshone the girl in everything, so when the time came, he could eliminate all threats before they could even reach her. Stick to the plan, or risk losing everything again. After finally living a life with her, Caleb didn’t want to let it go. Life carried too much meaning to him now.
She was his only weakness. The one variable that would always make him stumble, who would throw everything off base. So no matter how much she wanted him to stay, and how much he wanted to stay… he couldn’t. Nothing would change the choices they have made.
Now… it was time to focus.
Caleb dug a hand into his jean pocket, pulling out a small wrapper in yellow. It wasn’t the real thing, but it was all he could fit into his secret stash without going bad over time. He shed off the wrapper and popped the object into his mouth, the burst of sour hitting his tongue once more. That’s better.
Smacking his lips around the candy, he took a step forward—only for a shard of ice to rise up from the ground right in front of him. Caleb put his foot back and glared at Zayne. Looks like someone’s finally not holding back.
Zayne shook his arm, black specks fading in and out over his flesh. “Do you always suck on lemon drops before your attacks?”
Caleb narrowed his eyes. So, he managed to find an opening after all. He spoke around the candy, “Says the one who can be easily bribed with the promise of dessert.”
Zayne wasn’t the only one looking for weaknesses.
“That wasn’t…!” Zayne raised his voice, but cut himself off just as abruptly, grimacing. “I don’t understand how you can just stick to one flavor. My taste buds ache from looking at you. Isn’t it better to taste something different each time?”
“I hate surprises,” Caleb said simply, staring at Zayne. He then tilted his head, rolling the candy between his teeth, then tucking it back in his cheek before it could crack under pressure. “You don’t have any favorites?”
Zayne scratched the back of his head. “I like uniqueness. Even if they look the same on the surface, not one thing can taste exactly the same. In that sense, none can be compared to the other. It wouldn’t be fair. Despite all being ‘sweet,’ there are different degrees of sweetness. The only constant is the release of endorphins. So taste never matters because they all taste good…”
Caleb blinked. “I thought you were quiet. But you actually talk too much. What kind of weirdo reason is that?”
Zayne slapped a hand over his mouth. Then narrowed his eyes on Caleb. “And you bite on lemon drops. You can crack a tooth like that. I believe odd eating habits are a sign of—”
“I’m not here to get diagnosed, Doctor. Especially by one as hypocritical as you,” Caleb interrupted. He bared his teeth at Zayne, poking the candy out with his tongue, then ground it between his teeth again, until it started to crunch. Zayne’s eye twitched at the display. Caleb took that moment to step forward, raising his slingshot and quickly firing at Zayne. Before the ball could reach his face, Zayne shielded himself with his arms, a wall of ice forming in front of him. The ball bounced off the barrier, rolling back to Caleb’s feet.
“Now that’s the fight I was looking for,” Caleb whispered. Something surged inside of him. A rapid flutter of wings, soaring higher and higher, desperate to keep on moving forward. It was the rush of air as the bird swooped down, unsheathing its talons and digging the sharp nails into the flesh. Sinking deeper, and deeper still, until the squelch came, and spurts of red leaked out from its holes.
“Let this be the start of your lessons… if you want something, you take it. Weakness lies with your inability to hold onto possessions. If you spoil them too much, sit around and just wait, they’ll eventually fly away. Discipline and dominance is needed to keep them grounded. Don’t be kind. Show them fear.”
“Urk,” a small noise filled his ears, squeezed out from a tight restraint. Caleb blinked, a shudder going through his body. Zayne was now lying on the ground beneath him. He gasped for breath as Caleb’s fingers dug into his wrists, pressing his arms into the dirt above his head.
Whoops. He got carried away again.
“Caleb? Zayne? Are you alright? Do I need to go over there?”
“No,” Caleb replied coolly. He twisted Zayne’s skin ever so slightly. Just a tiny pinch. Sweat dripped down Zayne’s arms. “I’ve won, so why don’t you take a small break while Zayne and I have a heart to heart? I want to get to know him better.”
Caleb could only hold her for so long. The girl would break free from his Evol at any moment. But he wouldn’t allow interruptions. As soon as he felt a tug on his concentration, a kick to the barrier he had put up, he jerked his upper torso to the side, and the girl landed in a nearby bush, entangled with a bunch of leaves.
“As soon as I get out of this, you’re so dead, Xia Yizhou!”
Caleb sighed. “I wish you could trust me more, Pip-squeak. I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”
His voice sounded cheery, with a playful lilt to it, similar to a sulk. It was behavior that perhaps suited a puppy. Except, the face did not match the tone. The gaze was more cat-like in nature, observing his prey before him, waiting to pounce. Zayne gulped.
Caleb leaned in closer, his forehead practically touching Zayne’s, just like the girl had done seconds before. This close, Caleb could pick up on the pitch of Zayne’s breathing, short and sporadic. From the grip on his wrists, he could feel the rapid pulsing of his heartbeat. Interesting. Who knew the block of ice had a heart? But that didn’t matter. It didn’t change anything.
Caleb leaned in further still, his lips barely grazing Zayne’s ear. He rolled the candy between his teeth again, until it finally gave way. “Do you know why I suck on lemon drops?” he bit down with a deliberate crunch. “It aids the hunt.”
Caleb could feel small bumps form along Zayne’s skin as Zayne shivered. “It would seem your family has an issue with boundaries.”
Caleb finally backed away, scoffing. “Who broke those boundaries first, I wonder?”
Zayne blinked. The skin got colder underneath Caleb’s fingers. Prickles stung his tips and crawled towards his palms, but Caleb kept his hold. Something inside of Zayne was rising up to match Caleb’s own monster. “Does your sister know who you really are? Do you ever get tired, putting on that act of yours?”
“Watch it,” Caleb said lowly, his eyes becoming vacant. “You only just appeared. I’ve been with her since the beginning.”
“But…you can’t have her,” Zayne wheezed out. The air had gotten thicker. Just like that day. “Why bother clinging onto her like a lost puppy, using all methods to get her attention, only to push her away in the end? Your ambitions can’t become reality if you just let them soar into the sun.”
“And what would you know? Stay out of our business, interloper,” Caleb sneered at those green eyes.
“Is it because she forgets—”
“Shut up!” Caleb yelled. “It doesn’t matter if she forgets. As long as I can keep getting her attention. Even if she forgot… I didn’t.”
Caleb had been trapped all his life, living by other people’s orders. Never once had he been capable of living his own life on his own terms. Freedom was a foreign concept. A fragile creature with a devastating end. It was the heartbeat underneath his fingers, using every last muscle to pump out whatever blood it could muster. It shook with each pump until eventually it withered and beat no more. It was watching his palms bruise black and blue from the way he had grasped on too tightly, the screeches and flapping wings, the snaps and bits.
The feeling had infected his veins, boiled in his own blood. It was the constant whisper in his head.
“Take this as part of your lesson… those captured can never be free. They won’t survive the wild on their own. It’s eat, or be eaten.”
He did not want the same devastating end. One second, he was holding life in his hands. He carried the full authority. But the next, he was the one whose life was being snuffed out by a higher power, helpless against the master. Always chasing after the illusion of choice, something that he could never fully achieve. Each decision he made, each path he took, every place he went, just led him into another trap.
I just want to be free… Free.
It’s why he had wanted to take to the skies, go to a place where no one could reach him.
She was the only one he could truly call his own. The only one he could recognize in the endless fog. She had been his the moment he was created. It had always only ever been her. Without her, he would never have existed. Their connection wasn’t just spiritual, it was corporeal, tethering them to this plane of existence. His identity revolved around hers. They couldn’t be separated.
But they could never be free together, could they? Their fates meant they could not coexist. The peace they had now wouldn’t last. It never did.
That’s why… he needed to search for a way. A way to avoid their fates. Deep down, he knew getting entangled with her wouldn’t set him free, but trapped in yet another prison of his own making. She had poisoned his mind too much. It was more accurate to say that she was just another master of him. Yet… he found himself thinking, her prison wouldn’t be so bad. He couldn’t stop himself from wanting more, despite knowing it would only lead him to doom. He was weak. So weak.
But… that had been more painful than anything else. More painful than losing his own freedom. The day he thought he lost her again. He had been wandering in darkness so long, guided by one beam of light. When it went out, everything had collapsed. He was falling, falling. No. He didn’t want to be alone again. Without her. It had been so cold. He hated the cold. Hated not knowing where he was, who he was. Hated the way his heart stuttered, how he couldn’t breathe. He was no better than a caged animal.
If he chose to suffer… they should suffer together.
She had him by the leash. She didn’t even realize it.
And that… pissed him off.
He shouldn’t be. Shouldn’t want her to suffer alongside him, after everything they had been through. It was better to watch from afar, to keep her safe, as long as she could be happy. She wouldn’t survive the suffering like he could. Being together like this, as a family, should have been enough. But he couldn’t help it. They had always been one body. Was it so wrong to want to create a reality with her, rather than just always imagining one?
And… he couldn’t stand the thought of another boy taking his place. No, it was his role to be by her side, and his role alone. He wasn’t going to let some outsider who had hurt her be able to close the distance he so desperately wished he could close instead.
He… didn’t understand what she saw in this boy. This boy with weak convictions. At the shelter, the girl never glanced at anyone else but him. But now, her gaze was constantly directed at Zayne. He held her smiles, even though he didn’t deserve it. He left enough of an impression for him to even remain in her memory for more than a week, something that Caleb had been struggling so often to do. She offered her hand to him, while Caleb was stuck watching from the sidelines, unable to get closer than what society had deemed appropriate. The attention that should have been on him, was put on someone else. She was so… at ease. And it wasn’t with him.
The idea that she no longer needed him… that she would cast him aside… for someone else…
He couldn’t let that happen. Never.
Not by the person who almost took her away. Why were they always taking her away?
Zayne stiffened in his hold. Suddenly, the cold got too much, even for Caleb. He jumped up, shaking his hands, now coated in ice. He looked back at Zayne.
“You… didn’t forget? Then you know the monster isn’t me,” Zayne said, carefully. “I know what I did. But… you had to have seen it. Treat me however you want. But I’m not… like you. I’m not—”
Caleb lunged forward, flipping Zayne over, pressing his arm against his neck. He narrowed his eyes. “You really do talk too much. I prefer you best when you’re quiet.”
Zayne coughed. He waved his arms, tapping Caleb’s hold. Ice blasted Caleb away once more, an impenetrable fortress. Zayne placed his hands on his knees as he stood up.
“Caleb? Are you guys still fighting?” the girl emerged from the bushes, dusting off the stray leaves that had gotten on her clothes. But this time, an ice wall sprouted from the ground, blocking the path, shielding her away from Zayne and Caleb. Caleb raised an eyebrow at Zayne as the girl pounded on the ice.
Zayne glared at Caleb. “Let’s stop this nonsense. You’re being childish.”
Childish? He had no idea.
“The way you behave is… too strange. She’ll find it odd. It could cause a relapse. You’ll need to act more normal if you are going to blend in. Observe how other children behave.”
He had been bred into a weapon. Trained to let go of his emotions. Violence was the only solution he learned. Obedience second nature.
And somehow… he was expected to just undo all of that, to act like a proper child, as if he had grown up conventionally and healthily. He tried to dumb himself down. To be an upstanding role model for her. To be the “big brother” she needed, a person she could be herself with. The perfect boy. He thought… if that's what she wanted, if that would make her happy, to keep believing that Caleb was this great guy who would always have her back, who she could live her childhood with, then he could do it. He would do anything for her. He didn’t care about anyone else.
But some things just… stuck. Some things couldn’t be undone. He couldn’t be fixed. An “act,” as Zayne had called it, was the best thing he could do. Pretending became instinctive. This whole family had been built on pretend. A beautiful lie, just for her.
But clearly, it hadn’t been good enough.
Josephine introduced the girl to Zayne. Her excuse was so that they could have a friend before they start school, but he knew the real reason was to have someone keep an eye on them. That was always the case. And he noticed the way Josephine kept glancing at him, biting her lower lip. The way she would scold him for lingering around the girl too much, not giving her enough space.
Caleb wasn’t stupid. Josephine was banking on the fact that the girl would move onto Zayne, instead of staying attached to Caleb. Caleb was always… “other.” Not good enough. No matter how much he strived to be the best, he’d always be flawed.
“Childish?” Caleb repeated, eyes glinting. “I wonder if you’d still think that after this.”
It didn’t matter if he had already won. His bloodlust could not be easily satisfied.
He raised his slingshot up again. He tugged the rubber band back, stretching the band until it thinned out into vibrations, until his right arm exploded into tiny bursts of pain—while the arm had long since healed, it still hurt when exerting too much pressure. A side effect of healing too fast, but Josephine liked to call it psychological trauma.
Putting all force into the slingshot, he could feel his energy leave him. The slingshot wavered. Like hell he’d allow her to get close to the person who almost took her life. He was going in for the kill. Enough games.
“I’m not going to give up,” Zayne said. “I know what I did. But I’m not going to let it happen again. I finally discovered my own purpose.”
“You think a murderer can protect their victims?” Caleb scoffed.
“I… no,” Zayne sighed. “But I refuse to sit by and continue doing nothing, to act like everything is alright when it’s not. I want to do something. So… I’m going to do whatever it takes to regain trust, to make things work.”
Caleb blinked. So… noble. It was twisting his guts, making him feel like he had been kicked out of his body. He swallowed hard. He covered it up with a brisk laugh, short and harsh. “Yeah… pretty words won’t be enough for that.”
How can a cowardly boy who was used to avoidance change so drastically?
“I’ll prove it. I’ll show it,” Zayne insisted. “I… want to be more human. Not a monster.”
Ridiculous. He already was. And acting like he can fix things all on his own, that he can actively fight whatever may be in store for him later? Even more preposterous. He was more naïve than two children who were sheltered all their lives.
Because if he succeeds… then what was everything he sacrificed for?
He didn’t dare hope. He couldn’t go soft. Couldn’t let room in for disappointment. And he certainly wasn’t pitying this boy.
Caleb lowered his slingshot, placing his hands on Zayne’s shoulders. Looking into those distasteful eyes, he opened his mouth—
The ice wall behind him exploded. Tiny flakes descended upon them. The girl emerged from the other side, panting.
Caleb’s eyes widened. How is that possible? So far, the girl had only ever been able to interact with Caleb. Their energies matched each other, and they had the same wavelengths. A perfect fit. She often could not replicate the same performance with others. She could only resonate with someone she had formed a close bond with, someone she entirely trusted, someone whose energy could somewhat match hers.
Zayne had nothing to do with them. So how was it that she was able to use her Evol to wield it as her own?
Wait… she had done it back then, too. Did their Evols call out to each other, complement each other, just like with his? But… he thought he was the only one—
No. There have been others, haven’t there? There had always been others—
“Finally! Is anyone hurt? Do I need—”
“We’re fine, Pip-squeak.” Caleb rolled his eyes. “Didn’t I mention it before? I wouldn’t hurt him. Stop using your Evol all willy-nilly.” He mumbled under his breath, “He’s right about that, at least.”
“Well, I was worried…” the girl paused, looking between Zayne and Caleb, her lips stretching out into a grin. “Oh. You guys do look close, don’t you? I seem to always catch you in… intimate situations.”
Ah. So she had seen that before, too. Red heated Zayne’s cheeks again. Good grief. He got flustered way too easily. His lips moved, only a tiny wheeze being gasped out, “Close?”
Caleb let go of his shoulders, then dusted them off, as a favor. Zayne flinched, rubbing the tender areas. Caleb turned away from Zayne, smiling at the girl. “Yeah, Pip-squeak. That’s right. We finally overcame our differences. Turns out, we have a lot in common. I look forward to… seeing him around more.”
Tormenting, I mean.
Zayne looked at Caleb as if he had grown two heads, or rather, like his skin had erupted.
He turned his smile to Zayne, raising both eyebrows. Zayne’s cheeks puffed and puckered like he had swallowed a lemon whole. His brow furrowed. “Y-yes… I suppose so.”
As Zayne took a step forward, his footprint left a puddle of frost in his wake. His hand flickered between blue and black.
“Watch out!” Caleb bit out, although he no longer knew to whom. He found himself grabbing Zayne’s wrist, ice coating up his arm. The light snowfall seemed to be getting heavier…
“Oh my, what timing. It’s snowing again,” Josephine’s voice echoed from the distance. “And this winter has been so lovely so far.”
“It’s time for dinner anyways. Let’s eat. Maybe the snow will have let up by then,” another voice said. Zayne’s mother. Caleb vaguely remembered seeing his parents before, surrounding the child. But he never guessed that they were related. They looked nothing alike, nor shared any personality or mannerisms in common. But then again… “families” weren’t always how they were made out to be, were they?
Zayne was about to learn just how far they would have to take their pretending, for her sake.
“Kids! Time for dinner!” Zayne’s father shouted. Zayne gasped, shaking his hand away from Caleb’s. The ice melted once more. Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, Zayne regained his composure. He took a step towards the girl again, but this time, the girl had fled, already disappearing into the house. Zayne stared, stupefied, at the girl’s retreating figure. He blinked. Then looked at his empty hand.
Caleb smirked, relief flooding his chest. “Welcome to the club.”
When Zayne didn’t move, he hit Zayne’s shoulder until he keeled over. “But this doesn’t mean I accept you.”
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Seven: The Dawn
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance (for real this time).
I know I said this chapter would be uploaded faster, but I wanted to make sure this chapter was close to perfect… I feel like some parts could still use some work and I’m not fully satisfied with the monologues yet, but I have to call it quits at some point or I’d never post. At least, I hope the banter is just as good as you all were expecting! That was my favorite part to write of this chapter, and speaking of, this is actually the first ever chapter I wrote for this fic. So I finally got to the part I wrote this fic for! It’s why I wanted this to be as perfect as I could get it.
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One more thing—I know MC has not had a name until now, but she will actually have a name for this fic. Personally, I don’t like writing self inserts or x readers—I don’t view myself as the MC, and because everyone is different, there is no real way to make a character completely ambiguous to fit everyone’s needs and personalities. I rather just stick to a character and go with it. So, the MC is based off MC. However, using MC or canon nicknames feels awkward and breaks writing immersion for certain scenarios. Thus, I gave her a name.
The best I can guarantee is that the name won’t be used often (only in these specific scenarios where there is no other way around it—in monologues I will still mostly refer to her as “the girl,” “she,” and “her,” so if you WANT to self insert, you still can, and view the name as the placeholder). MC’s appearance will also be kept as vague as I can make it, so it doesn’t feel like I’m shoving an official MC look down anyone’s throats. The name she does have is also meaningful to the story (so it’s not just some random name I gave her). However, the reasoning for the name is a bit long… so I’ll put that in a note at the end here so I don’t clog up the beginning any more than I already have. But I hope this is all acceptable to you all, for those who prefer self inserts or x readers. If you want to decide if the reasoning is good enough before you continue reading, feel free to skip to the end to read the reasoning first.
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WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, autism, ADHD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/ comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
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"Hi, I'm Ana. What's your name?"
The voice that had plagued his daydreams and disappeared in his nightmares, locked behind a memory faded by time, always just out of reach, now wrapped around him like a sweet caress, tickling his ears. Her name etched itself onto his skin, tracing it with her lips, ensuring he would never forget again.
Zayne roamed his gaze over her outstretched hand, taking in the details of her small fingers. The flesh was smooth without any blemish—no sign of scars, no glittering rainbow light reflecting off of blue transparent crystals. It was almost as if that day had never even happened at all, as if it were just another part of his nightmares, a figment of his imagination, and nothing more.
But even time was not enough to fully erase the memory. He remembered that one summer day clearly, too clearly. She had lost so much blood. She should have died. He thought she was dead. But she was here? Alive?
The day replayed in his mind too often against his will for it to just have been a hallucination. Dr. Fang had treated her at the hospital himself, and his parents brought the topic up to Zayne quite a few times. All of that had to be real.
But now, she was standing before him again, her hand held out to him as she awaited his grasp, her lips upturned, her wide eyes bright and innocent like they had been before that disastrous moment. She shouldn’t be looking at him like that, without any care or trepidation in the world. Was there something wrong with her? She was acting like she didn’t know him. For the first time ever, Zayne was completely gobsmacked. Once again, she took his breath away. If it hadn’t been for his own perfect memory and inability to make things up, he may have truly believed this was their first time meeting instead.
Zayne never believed in superstitions or fate, but this all felt like one hell of a strange coincidence. Surpassing death should have been undefeatable, unconquerable, impossible. He didn’t like that more and more mysteries were consuming this world, creating too many unknowns when he was so used to knowing everything and justifying every problem with science. He especially didn't like that most of these secrets surrounded her. Her smile after facing adversity should have probably relieved him, just like it had that day, but Zayne could only feel his gut sinking. The ground had opened up beneath his feet and was swallowing him whole, drowning out all other emotions, until only darkness remained.
The ticks of a nearby clock thrummed against the walls, the only sound that filled the blanks. As the silence stretched between them, the girl’s smile flickered, her brows pinching together, her eyes dimming.
The darkness that had been enveloping him suddenly disappeared, along with his chaotic thoughts. That restless tug inside of him, which had only gotten more restless since he had known her, finally seemed to settle. He blinked, and everything came rushing back to him at once, throwing him back to the present, memories going past him like the pictures on a flipbook.
Right. Hospital. That’s where he was. Dr. Fang had introduced him to Josephine and her children, but the girl was unable to let go of Josephine’s legs. She had a shy streak, Josephine had said, but suggested that the girl would become outgoing again once she got to know Zayne better. Zayne had assumed the girl was acting that way because of their previous encounter, until she had greeted him with that memorizing, envy-inducing smile.
So, his parents had stepped outside with Josephine and Dr. Fang, leaving the children alone together in the small office. Zayne had no idea what Dr. Fang and his parents were thinking, wanting him to come into close contact with the very girl he had injured. The three of them must have known the truth all this time, that she had survived. Now that his mind had cleared, Zayne could vaguely recall his parents trying to tell him more than once, but he had been too stubborn, too busy trying to avoid any mention of her, going as far as making sure he stayed away from that end of the hospital when she had been emitted, refusing to visit whenever his parents offered. He had been certain of the outcome and thought there was no need in confirming it, but now he realized he had been wrong to assume something so natural about her. Was this his parents' way of pushing for amends, to make him get out of his own head? It was a ridiculous scheme.
Zayne knew he couldn’t let the silence linger any longer. He had already let his mask slip in front of her. He quickly schooled his features back to his usual calm composure and bowed, shielding his face from her, his hands clenching into fists at his sides. "My name is Li Shen. But you may call me Zayne."
The girl stared at his bowed form, then slowly lowered her hand. "Oh..."
A scoff came from next to her. The boy had been watching the whole exchange, his arms crossed. The boy slung his arm over the girl and brought her close to his side. “Don’t cry yet, Pip-squeak. We just met him. He’s not worth your tears.”
Zayne immediately looked up from his bow. The girl’s gaze was now downcast, a pout on her lips. But no tears. He then moved his eyes to the boy, sizing him up.
He recognized those dark eyes, that arrogant tilt of his chin. The first time he had met him, his arm was broken. An older woman had approached Dr. Fang, begging him to treat the boy. It had only been just about a week since the first day of the Catastrophe, and Dr. Fang had opened up a small hideout to host refugees that could not access the hospital. The boy had been barefoot, his feet throbbing red, and the scraps of thin fabric on his body had been mostly ripped and singed. His brown hair had been covering his eyes, long and disheveled, as if it had not been cut or brushed in a long time. Even when they had dressed him into the hospital garbs, they had been too big on his scrawny body. But upon closer inspection, the boy somehow possessed a hint of defined muscle mass on top of all that skin and bone. Dr. Fang and Zayne’s parents ran a series of tests on the boy’s condition. They had made each report to the older woman who had now claimed to be his grandma, even though at the time, the woman actively made sure she did not get too close to the child, and the boy had never once met her gaze.
Zayne had never interacted with the boy directly. He was not allowed into his room, so he could only steal some glances from the cracks whenever the door happened to not be shut all the way. His first impression was that the boy must have been pathetic. No child ever behaved the same, but the one constant that connected all children together was their selfish desires, which took the shape of vicious beasts, chaotic messes of emotions, who desperately sought attention.
But this boy…
Nothing had ever phased him. He never responded when spoken to, his gaze blank and fixed to the wall. Whenever the doctors touched his arm, he hadn’t even so much as winced, which was unlike other children with fractures that Zayne had observed. The boy was oddly silent and calm, enough to even rival Zayne, which was a feat in itself. But the lack of life inside him had given Zayne pause. The adults around him did not address him by any name. They had always just referred to the boy as “002.” Over time, Zayne had grasped from the conversations he was able to catch here and there that the adults were previously researchers. As for what they had been researching… it must have been the boy, but it sounded like it had gone horribly wrong. With the rumors that the Catastrophe started because of a research facility, he felt himself coming across uncharted territory. He knew he had to keep his distance, mind his own business.
The boy was healing fast. Too fast. Like some sort of supernatural side effect. Zayne had been listening in on the conversations as always, when he had somehow tripped, pushing open the door he was forbidden from crossing. It was at that moment, Zayne properly met the boy. His fall had landed him right in the middle of the boy’s gaze. When he lifted his head up, their eyes had clashed for the first time.
Black holes. That was his first thought. Black holes reminiscent of the rifts that had introduced Wanderers to their world. Two black holes that sucked everything in, allowing nothing to escape, never being satisfied, a loneliness that could never be fulfilled. The emptiness was so sheer, so vast, that Zayne saw himself reflected in that clear black gaze. Something had stabbed at Zayne’s heart right then, as if the mirror had shattered and struck it with its shards. Perhaps that is when everything had started to go wrong.
Zayne had struggled to fit in with the rest of humankind. He got through life by going with the flow, just existing, but never really there. It had always made him feel… different from everybody else, unable to blend with the norm, like he never truly belonged among the ordinary people. He was incapable of registering and processing emotions, simply lacking the capacity to let go of his inhibitions as freely as the children around him did. Children always had opinions, but Zayne could never figure out what an opinion was. To him, there was only logic and science. He saw the world in pure objectivity, as if it were made up of math formulas, with no concept of imagination or sentimentality. Everything was alike. He thought he had been alone in that mindset, but now he was finally faced with someone, someone around his age, who seemed to view the world in the same way.
But it was also for that very reason that Zayne had found the Catastrophe so unsettling. When the objects that make the world so objective suddenly disappear, all that is left is whatever mental image the mind can conjure up to make up for it. But Zayne had none of that. When the world became dark, there was only darkness. Zayne could feel that darkness coming back the longer he had gazed into the boy’s bottomless eyes. It was suffocating. The air had become unbearably dry, hot without moisture. It felt like the pressure was enough to even reach his Evol, snuffing it out in a giant vacuum. Everything about the boy made his very skin crawl, as the itch that always lurked inside him burned more intensely than ever before. He was unnatural. Mechanical. Inhuman. He was looking at a product that had been stripped of all humanity, reduced to nothing more than a robotic shell with uncanny abilities.
That was the last time he saw the boy. He made sure to never approach him again, and the boy had vanished without any trace shortly after. He thought that was the end of it. But something had still bothered him. Something he could not wrap his head around.
When their eyes met, he had seen something else there. It was the way the boy had held his head straight, not backing down. A glint in his eyes, one almost imperceptible, carefully hidden among the black holes. Black holes also had the potential to carry entrances to new worlds. Just like the current of the Deepspace Tunnel, the boy’s eyes were transporting him to entire galaxies with a single look. They held a deeper complexity. A multitude of secrets. An amber spark in his eyes, like the glowing setting sun, peeking out through the other end of the Tunnel, the only light that somehow managed to escape. The piercing glare was enough to melt straight through the ice within Zayne’s own eyes and heart.
A fire. That’s what was concealed behind the emptiness of his eyes. A passion. A forbidden desire. The only thing, perhaps, still connecting him to his humanity. That’s when Zayne realized… the boy was simply holding back. Whoever had tried to strip his humanity away, had not yet been fully successful. The emotion ran deep, deeper than Zayne had ever seen run through anyone. That’s when Zayne decided that someone who hid their emotions was more dangerous than someone who wore their heart on their sleeve.
For what happened, when someone who was forced to think rationally, still had one spot of irrationality that was left unchecked? How long had that individuality festered? What could be so important to cling onto so furiously, to not let anything else touch it? What motivation drove him? Zayne didn’t understand emotions, but he understood this one least of all. No, the boy wasn’t pathetic, and the life inside him had not been extinguished. He was merely a replica of Zayne. Zayne was still the only one like himself. It marked the first time Zayne was ever mistaken.
Then Zayne had gone to the shelter. The children had lined up for their checkups. One glance was all it took for a girl to flee from her turn, running into the arms of a boy. The boy had rubbed her arms up and down, whispering something into the top of her head, before ushering her away into the garden. Zayne thought it was best to go after them, but no one had batted an eye at their departure, and his parents had told him to just let it be.
That had been the second time he met the boy, although he had not recognized him then. The boy had metamorphosed into someone else. He only ever saw the boy with the girl. The boy was her shadow, never leaving her side. It was like the girl was the sun, and he was the moon, pulled into her orbit, unable to resist her gravity. The moon shielded the sun from everyone else, not letting anyone cross into their paths.
Whenever the boy looked at this girl, his eyes would soften the tiniest bit, and the spark that had been hidden would come to the forefront, come alive. All the emotions he had ever suppressed now flickered across his face like a cinematic masterpiece. This girl… she made the boy human again. Zayne instantly knew that she had been the reason for that spark in his eyes. He watched as the boy behaved rashly, made impulsive mistake after impulsive mistake, human mistakes. And he was always talking to her, never in silence, even if she wasn’t listening to him. Whatever was holding him back before, was holding him back no more. He was free.
But why was it that a simple girl, of all things, made him feel this way?
But then he saw the boy throw it all away again. He had been reading his medical textbooks when the boy and girl barged into the room. The girl had been waving her hands at him. When the boy refused to respond, she had pushed at his chest, storming off into the garden. The boy had stood still, not going after her, but Zayne had looked up from his book briefly to see the swirl in his eyes, like a thunder storm brewing, as he watched her back leave him. Eventually, with a perfunctory glance at Zayne, the boy turned around and went in the opposite direction. The two had been so close. The girl had always run into his arms when she was afraid, and the boy always had a sixth sense when it came to finding the girl when she couldn’t avoid her checkups forever. But now they were apart.
Perhaps that was the real reason why the girl had been crying that day. He didn’t know why she had placed all the blame on her popsicle instead, but that peculiar choice had made him realize that the girl had a special ability to feign casualness among catastrophe. Her strive to be optimistic in a world that had become pessimistically bleak, the way she could give the boy life but easily take it away all in the same breath, that super power is what had drawn him to her. He wanted to know… if she could also make him human, give him a new perspective of the world he had never been able to see before, on the same level as everyone else.
So he indulged himself, for the first time in forever, not knowing that would lead to the biggest mistake in his life. He made the stupidly impulsive decision to heal the girl’s popsicle. That’s when he caught it. A glimpse of the boy, watching from afar, hiding behind the screen doors. He maintained his distance, but his eyes were trained on Zayne, black holes threatening to swallow him whole once more, as if the boy wanted to do nothing more than wedge himself between them, to get back into her orbit. Once again, he was holding himself back. For what purpose?
All these contradictory choices, all these irrational emotions that surrounded the two children, had confused Zayne. A puzzle he could not solve when he had been used to solving everything.
They always seemed to put on an act. Which side of them was the real them, he wondered?
Now, as he stood stupefied, staring at the girl he thought he had killed, the girl he thought he could never see again, his chest feeling both tight and light at once, he thought he was finally beginning to understand what had driven them.
The boy met his gaze and narrowed his eyes at Zayne. He wrinkled his nose, his lip curling back from his teeth. “See? He’s clearly just a weirdo who doesn’t know his place. He better watch himself.”
Zayne cocked a brow at him. "And you are?"
This was the closest he had ever gotten to the boy. No matter what he did to avoid them, the coincidences only continued to pile up. Chance was linking them together. Chance had led him to the both of them, again and again.
Dr. Fang had called them siblings. That would explain their closeness at the shelter, a bond that had to have gone deep and long, but they looked nothing alike. He had a feeling there was something more to it than just “siblings.”
The boy scowled at Zayne, a hiss escaping those lips. He had always reminded Zayne of a wounded wild animal. Something that he should never get close to, if he wished to keep his hand. But now that he was up close, he reminded Zayne more of a kitten. The innocent comparison may have been absurd, but the boy’s fierce side was encompassed by a sheltered naivety. It was one of the traits that had confused Zayne, that he could not grasp. A boy who put on an air of maturity, but was still a child deep down.
Before the boy could say anything else snarky, the girl gave him a swift elbow to the ribs. He doubled over as he let out a wheeze from the shock.
"Caleb! Don't be mean. Zayne is our new friend!"
Both boys froze. Friend? They were friends? How can they be friends?
Zayne had thought it was strange. But now that his head was clear, he knew for certain. The girl must have completely forgotten their encounter. Amnesia. Of course, she would have to have suffered some trauma from her injuries. She wasn’t completely immune. It made sense. Ironically, it was the only side effect that proved that something had happened between them at all.
His stomach twisted. He supposed he should have been thankful for the do over. But was he just supposed to act like everything was normal now, even after all that had happened? He had tried to bury the past, but he was never able to get rid of her from his mind, so how can he forget? He would be the only one who carried this dark secret.
“Why should I be kind to anyone who hurts your feelings?” The boy spat, wiping his mouth as he glared at Zayne. Zayne sucked in a breath through his teeth. It would seem at least someone still remembered that day. Yes, there was definitely no way he could forget that day like she had.
“It’s precisely because we don’t know him that we shouldn’t assume. Grandma always says to give the benefit of the doubt. And stop acting like you’re any better! You’re the reason why Grandma says that in the first place,” the girl placed her hands on her hips. However, Zayne didn’t miss the way the girl gnawed on her lower lip, rolling it beneath her teeth as it trembled. There she went, being contradictory again. The girl let it go and sighed, rolling her eyes as she turned back to Zayne. “Zayne, I’m sorry about my dumb brother. Don’t mind him.”
Zayne didn’t know about that. He kept his eyes on the boy, Caleb. His expression had gone completely blank at her words. That was the look he had been more used to seeing on him. Caleb threw a side eye to the girl, who met his gaze. Their stares held for a long moment.
“Tch,” Caleb straightened his posture, rubbing his chest where she had hit him, then turned back to Zayne. “Well, if that’s what she says… then I guess I have no choice but to accept you! Welcome to our dysfunctional family. Please excuse my poor manners from earlier. I hope we can get along.”
Caleb reached out his hand. Zayne eyed the movement. The switch was… jarring. What was he up to? But before he could move away and brush him off again, Caleb grabbed Zayne’s hand and squeezed.
Hard.
"This is what you're supposed to do when someone offers you their hand," Caleb said helpfully, tightening his grip. He tilted his head. "Just so you don't forget next time."
Zayne grimaced.
Smirking, Caleb finally dropped Zayne's hand. Zayne immediately clutched it to his chest.
"Oh, how lovely. It seems the kids are getting along just fine. I was worried things would be tense after... well, you know."
The adults had come back into the room. Zayne’s mother poked her head through the doorway. “Aw, look at our Zaynie, socializing with kids around his age. We should capture this moment.”
“Already on it,” Zayne’s father poked his head next to his mother, holding out his phone and snapping a photo.
Zayne’s left eye twitched. He could feel his face heating up. He looked away from his parents. “Mom, Dad, please. Don’t make such a big fuss out of this.”
“Yeah,” Caleb said, his eyes never leaving Zayne, “Zaynie is nothing special. Chatting with him is a bore.”
Silence descended upon the room. Josephine glanced between Caleb and Zayne, her face drained of color. She cleared her throat. “Now, now, Caleb. That’s not very nice. Remember what I said about how you should behave around others?”
Caleb’s empty gaze finally swung over to the older woman. He stared her down. Zayne noticed a drop of sweat leaking down her brow, and the subtle movement of her throat that indicated a swallow.
Interesting.
“Do I have to?” Caleb asked slowly, his voice tinged with great disinterest.
Josephine quirked an eyebrow. She stood her ground, but her hands swayed, and her shoulders tightened up. It was like she was holding her breath. Eventually, Caleb answered with a roll of his eyes, before turning back to Zayne with yet another creepy smile on his face that didn’t reach his dark eyes. He tugged on the strap of the green messenger bag he had wrapped around his shoulder, giving the pouch a pat. “Right, my mistake. I’m still not familiar with socializing either, so I often slip up. What I meant to say was, we’re having lots of fun. We should do it again sometime.”
Josephine sighed. “Perhaps that is enough for today. It was too soon to say they were ready. Dr. Fang, let’s hurry along the checkup, shall we? I forgot Caleb still doesn’t like being away from home.”
“I might as well also perform a checkup on the boy, then.”
“I’ll assure you, not much has changed with the boy.”
“Doesn’t hurt to be too careful.”
“Can I go now?” Zayne cut in. Their heads swiveled over to him. Zayne shuffled his feet, clearing his throat. “It seems I’ve already done what you wanted me to do.”
Dr. Fang gave Zayne a long look. Zayne gulped. Dr. Fang seemed to always see right through him more than his parents ever had.
“At least stay for the girl’s checkup. I want to explain to you how Protocore Syndrome works.”
You rascal, don’t you dare try avoiding this any longer, is what Dr. Fang seemed to be really telling him.
So Zayne bit his lip, standing silently to the side as Dr. Fang examined the girl’s heart and explained to Zayne what she was going through. Zayne had absorbed the information as usual. But the more Dr. Fang talked about it, and the longer Zayne stared at charts of her heart, Zayne felt dizzy. Once more, something he didn’t understand was happening inside of him.
When Dr. Fang moved onto the boy, examining him for psychological conditions and any chronic injuries, his parents finally allowed him to leave. As Zayne exited the office, he could feel the girl’s gaze on him as the door shut close behind him. A forlorn expression, as if she had expected more from him, but only disappointed her. He didn’t know what else she could possibly want from someone like him.
“Isn’t she a nice girl? And you were so scared of meeting her again. You’re thoughtful, Zayne, but you should open up more,” his mother nudged Zayne. It sparked a conversation between her and his father about how well Zayne and the girl should get along. He didn’t bother paying attention. Zayne kept his head down and his eyes away. He couldn’t bring himself to look at her like before. He would have to ensure they don’t meet again, so another incident wouldn’t happen. He couldn’t guarantee her safety. And he couldn’t bear to be responsible again.
How funny. She was the one who had run from him, but now he was running from her. It was easy to just call her a nuisance, but he was actually more pathetic than that. He knew his life had been upturned the moment he met her. Something inside of him was stirring, and it wasn’t just the grim reaper. There was another part of him, a more confusing part, that wanted to reach out to her. Something warm, alongside the cold that wanted to consume him, the itch that seeked to take over his skin. He wanted to believe it was a part of him he thought he would never have… the human part of him. The frost that had encased his heart for so long was thawing. For the first time, Zayne was beginning to feel. And that scared him.
***
“The variable has appeared and made contact with the Emissary. The loop has begun.”
This dream was not like others he had had. Zayne was unable to open his eyes. He scrunched up his nose, overwhelmed with the sudden sensation of needing to sneeze.
“The Emissary is starting to develop human emotion. It appears to be another failure.”
“We always have that at our disposal, if he ever decides to rebel again and the loop goes off track…”
“Wait. This world feels different from the others. I’m sensing multiple oddities. Not just the girl.”
“It can’t be… all of them at once?”
“This is unprecedented. They have always been kept separate. It’s bad enough the variable flits between timelines. That’s why we have the Emissary. But if all the timelines merge together, who knows what will happen—”
The voices suddenly fell silent. A chill followed, a breeze hitting Zayne, making himself wonder if he accidentally left the window open.
“Li Shen.”
A new whisper touched his ears. Who was calling him?
“Zayne.”
Go away.
“Emissary. You must fulfill your duty.”
No.
A force pressed down on Zayne, crushing his bones. He wanted to cry out, but something was preventing him from doing so. The pressure intensified until it felt like his entire body was being reshaped into something else.
“You must. One day… you will hurt her,” the godly voice rasped. He felt invisible hands claw at his neck, choking him, scratching at him. The itch was back. “This world is doomed to end like all the others. You will serve as herald once more. This is a fate you are not allowed to escape. You must ensure the world’s end, so balance may live on and greed never takes over. That is your destiny.”
Zayne woke up with a gasp. Clutching onto his neck, he looked left and right. Snow. His room was snowing again. He looked down. Once again, his body had become encased in black ice. This always happened after a nightmare, or whenever his thoughts strayed back to the girl.
After that day, his parents had registered Zayne as an Evol user and he began taking classes, so he’d never lose control over himself again. All Evol users must register with the government and take classes to hone their abilities. Classes also involved a mandatory combat section, so they would know how to fight and defend themselves in case of a Wanderer attack. All Evol users were now expected to contribute to society and the war effort in some way.
Zayne closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He learned that his Evol seemed to go out of control as a trauma response. Whenever his body went on guard, or whenever he got overwhelmed by all the things happening inside of him, his Evol took over.
After regulating his breathing, the black ice slowly receded from his skin. Zayne dropped from his bed and approached the mirror in his room. A cold expression greeted him. His parents had told him that they would be visiting a family today for dinner.
Zayne poked at his cheeks. The girl’s voice rang in his head again. Smile more! The boy’s scoff followed. What a weirdo.
Yes, Zayne always struggled with his mask. It had isolated him from the rest of peers. It’s what made him different. He also never seemed to know what was proper social etiquette, always making blunders, never doing or saying the right thing. Zayne had come to the conclusion that he was just bad at being human. His parents and Dr. Fang just always insisted he was special.
Still, Zayne really did try his best to blend in as much as possible, to fit in with others. It wasn’t that he needed friends. Zayne was a solitary creature by nature. He just didn’t want everyone to always look at him like he was a different species. Zayne smiled at the mirror, pinching his cheeks up. He curved his eyes. He let go of his mind until the black ice had receded completely. He made sure to get rid of all his flaws and imperfections, so no one could discover them. Yes, he knew how to smile and pretend as well.
***
Zayne gazed out the window of the car. Despite it being January, the weather was more like spring. Chill and warmth collided together to create a comfortable atmosphere, unlike how Zayne was feeling inside.
His parents had been… skittish. They wouldn’t tell him where they were going, which perhaps should have been the first red flag.
Zayne didn’t fully realize something had been off until they started driving in the suburbs. When they had pulled up to a quaint, non-extraordinary suburban home, tucked away in the outskirts of the city, and a family of three stood outside on the porch, Zayne knew he had been set up into another trap by his meddlesome parents.
The car door slammed shut behind him with a resigned sigh. The universe wasn’t ever going to let him go after all these strange coincidences, huh? But he still wasn’t willing to believe this was all the work of fate. Fate was magical, not scientific, and if it was working against him, he didn’t want to believe in it anyways.
The voice in his dream was annoying. It would be better to think there was no god at all than to believe in a god like that.
Josephine waved them over. “Althea! Jace! Thank you for coming. I know how busy the three of you are, but she wouldn’t stop asking about Zayne, and I think it’s best for them to find a friend their age before they start school after the winter break. They’ve both been sheltered for too long.”
The girl was hiding behind Josephine again. She was looking at Zayne, a blush on her cheeks. From behind her, Caleb was burning holes into his skull. He tugged on the girl, pulling her into his arms, turning her face away from Zayne so that her back was shown to him instead. The girl struggled in his hold, and soon they were embarking in a wrestling match.
Zayne turned his head to his parents. “Why am I getting dragged into this?”
His mother flicked his forehead, albeit gently. “Zayne, you’ve been off ever since that day. This is a way for you to let go of your guilt. Also, we keep worrying about you. You never bring any friends home. We know it’s hard for you to get attached when you’re always skipping grades, but… everyone needs a friend. Since our families are so close, we thought this would be a great idea. Just see how it goes for now. If you really don’t enjoy it, then we can stop. But if you at least give it a try, we’ll treat you to something sweet.”
At her words, Caleb stopped moving, his arms wrapped around the girl in a headlock. His lips twitched, eyes gleaming with mirth.
“I don’t like sweets that much,” Zayne mumbled, feeling the need to clarify. He knew he didn’t look like the type to enjoy sweets. He hadn't been the type to indulge in something so childish. But recently, he just… developed a small craving, whenever he had a nightmare. He wasn’t going to let it go out of hand beyond that. However, his parents somehow thought they could keep using this new craving as some kind of bribe. They were wrong, of course. Zayne wouldn’t be persuaded. Their attempts were futile. He would never move on from that day. Still, he had set his shoulders back, ready to face the situation head on.
The girl broke free from the headlock, slapping Caleb’s chest and taking in huge gulps of air. "Grandma, don't worry about us! Caleb and I are gonna play with Zayne in the yard, so you guys can chat about adult things!"
The girl ran over to Zayne, reaching for his hand. Before their fingers could touch, Zayne clutched his hand back to his chest. His breath trembled. That was close.
The girl’s hand fell in mid-air, grasping at nothing. She frowned. “Do you… not like me?”
Zayne opened his mouth. He glanced at Caleb. Caleb’s eyes were searing into him once more. He brought his hand up to below his chin, and extending his index finger, dragged it across his neck. Dead. Meat. Zayne coughed into his elbow and swung his gaze back to the girl. "No, that's not it... I'm just afraid..."
The girl’s frown deepened. "Afraid? Afraid of what? Me?”
“Pip-squeak, stop worrying about him. Some people just don’t like to be touched. We should respect his wishes,” Caleb waved dismissively. The girl slumped her shoulders, falling back to Caleb’s side. He jabbed his thumb to the yard. “Now, are we going, or what? I don’t like the stares.”
He was right. Zayne’s parents and Josephine had their eyes on the children, the air thick with tension. Zayne’s mother looked ten seconds close to biting her fingernails. He didn’t trust Caleb’s sudden goodwill any more than he did last time, but since this was the game they had to play from now on…
“Lead the way,” Zayne forced out, straining his mouth into a smile.
As they made their way into the yard, the girl fell back to match Zayne’s strides. She whispered to him, “If you’re scared, I can protect you. I’m going to become a hunter when I grow up!”
A short puff of air escaped from Zayne. A hunter? Her? With that tiny, fragile body and poor memory? Was she out of her mind? The girl glared at him.
“What’s so funny?”
Zayne clamped his mouth shut, clearing his throat. But his shoulders still shook. “Ah, it’s nothing… thank you, Miss Hunter. Surely I’ll have nothing to fear with you by my side.”
While he still found the idea laughable, he did mean it. Having her close, seeing her alive, filled him with a warmth that replaced the chill whenever he thought about that day. It made him foolishly want to believe it would never happen again, that if she had survived death, they can survive anything.
“What are you two talking about behind my back?” Caleb’s voice interrupted them. He had stopped walking, popping up between them, pushing them apart.
“None of your business!” The girl shouted at him. She brushed past Caleb. That blank expression of his had taken over again briefly, vanishing when the girl spun around to face him again. “Let’s play a game!”
“A game?” A cold glint flashed across Caleb’s eyes. He glanced at Zayne, his pursed lips slowly morphing into an upturned grin. “That sounds like a great idea.”
Zayne felt the air get tight, squeezing his throat. He pulled at his collar, swallowing. “What… kind of game? I don’t have any experience.”
The grin only seemed to stretch wider across Caleb’s lips. “Oh, I know a game we can play. Pip-squeak, what do you say to some… practice?”
He gave the green messenger bag he always seemed to carry around with him a meaningful shake.
The girl tilted her head. “Practice?”
“Yeah. If you want to be a hunter, then you should get some practice in. We’ve played the game plenty of times before, but we’ve always missed the main component. Now that we have three players…”
“Oh!” The girl clapped her hands. “You’re right! We did play this game before! But at the time, we could only play two roles…”
“Exactly. You’re the hunter, and I’m the DAA pilot. But Zayne can be…” Caleb trailed off as he opened the gate to the yard. Zayne was greeted by the sight of pagoda trees and floating sophora petals. The air squeezed his throat even tighter, crushing his windpipe. Caleb looked back at Zayne. “The Wanderer.”
The branches swayed in the wind. Zayne blinked, and suddenly he was sent back to that day. A pagoda tree covered in white, a tipped over popsicle stand, a puddle of juice, a pool of blood, an unconscious girl at the center. His body swayed back and forth. He rubbed his palms on the back of his pants. Again. And again. So much blood. He had to get it all off.
“Zayne!”
A single voice in the fog. Something grabbed his hand, and the scene before him faded away. His heart pounded in his chest. His teeth ached, and he realized upon unclenching his jaw that they had been chattering. The ice had encased his body again, feeling like a thousand shards had pierced his heart. But that single touch had immediately melted it all.
A strange noise broke it fully. Caleb was looking down at him, his eyes bulging. It was a small crack forming in his carefully constructed facade. Zayne followed his gaze. There, he saw that his hand had been joined by another. The girl was touching him.
No…
The girl gasped, and suddenly her hand was gone. “Sorry! I didn’t think.”
Zayne stared at the spot where they had just been connected.
“Were you scared again? We don’t have to play. I mean, it would be super helpful if someone could play the Wanderer for us instead of using our imagination for the targets… but I can show off my skills in other ways!”
Caleb looked away with a click of his tongue, crossing his arms. “Disappointing.”
“This is your fault, Caleb!”
The girl moved to pull away. Zayne didn’t know what had come over him. He just needed to test something. He was, after all, a brain who functioned purely on science. Touching her should have been impossible. Their forces only repelled each other. He would never belong in her orbit like Caleb did. She needed to remain out of his reach, where his ice could not harm her. He knew that was for the best. But that did not stop him from stretching out his hand, grasping for the cosmic essence of her existence, her joy. His fingers grabbed hold of hers.
It felt like he had just grabbed a shooting star from the sky.
The girl halted, looking back at him. Confusion clouded her eyes. He felt her muscles tense against his palm. She tugged, and she was slipping away again. He chased after the movement and retightened his hold. He took a deep breath, relaxing his shoulders. He felt his mask falling back into place, just like he exercised.
Nothing happened.
She was still here. Everything was all right.
Could they really… be together again, like before?
“Don’t you hate it?” The girl whispered.
Zayne shook his head, not removing his hand. “No, I was rude before. We can hold hands. If you want, that is. I don’t mind.”
Caleb’s jaw dropped. Another strange gargle escaped from it, almost like a pained groan. “You…”
Zayne placed a hand on his shoulder. Bowing his head, he said, “Thank you for the etiquette lesson from earlier. Please excuse my poor manners. I hope we can get along.”
Caleb’s right eye twitched at the echo of his own words. A darkness was consuming his gaze, dousing the only spark that made his eyes glow. He jerked his shoulder, causing Zayne’s hand to fall away. “We didn’t come here to entertain your nonsense. Let’s play.”
The girl bit her lip as Caleb walked away. “Caleb’s acting strange. I’ve never seen him this riled up before.”
Zayne stared after Caleb’s retreating back. He already knew exactly why he was behaving this way, but he didn’t need to tell her that. It wasn’t his story to tell.
“Well, once you see me in action, you’ll have nothing to worry about. I can protect you from Wanderers and Caleb.”
Zayne listened to her talk about her dream. All jokes aside, Zayne could sense the passion and conviction inside her. She was serious about this. While Zayne had been idling about, allowing himself to be helplessly rocked against rough currents, not knowing his place in the world, or what direction he wanted to take with his life, letting others do that for him instead, the girl had already resolved herself to a future path all on her own.
Caleb lifted the strap of his green messenger bag and tossed it to the ground. The girl tugged him towards there as the boy began to rummage through its contents.
“Caleb! You should treat your things with more care.”
“They’re just objects. What’s so special about them?”
The sun was beaming down at them. Zayne didn't know how they winded up playing a pretend game of hunters in a suburban backyard on such a beautiful day. He thought the situation strange and bizarre. What had been plaguing him since the last time they met now felt distant like a faded memory, almost as if nothing had ever happened. But as the breeze tickled his face, he finally allowed the new pleasant atmosphere to wash over him in contentment.
It was a respite from all his previous worries, doubts, and tension.
“One day, you will hurt her.”
Zayne stared at their joined hands once again. He shook that voice in his head away. It had drowned out with the wind. For the first time, he felt like he finally found purpose.
Something was growing inside of him again. But this time, Zayne finally knew what it was. The thing he thought he had lost. Passion.
It was at that moment, as he watched her smile brightly, with no care in the world, their hands touching, that Zayne decided: he would never hurt her again. Instead, he would use his hands to save lives.
#####
Here is the name of our MC for this fic! Meet Yang Ao, also known as Anastasia “Ana” Yang.
Anastasia - rebirth, resurrection (shortened to Ana for convenience—and to match the nicknames of the other LIs). Based on the urban legend of Princess Anastasia, rumored to have survived the Russian Revolution beheadings. An “A” name was chosen to correlate with A-01 in Caleb’s limited myth, since Xia can be linked to X-02.
Yang - Yang is a common Chinese surname, but MC uses the one that means “Sun” or “Light.” It derives from Yin and Yang, representing the masculine/brightness principle of the universe. Caleb’s surname, Xia, derives from Xiawa, the translation for Eve. Yadang is the translation for Adam, so I chose “Yang” as a way to shorten that as well. Since Caleb and MC are adopted, but Caleb doesn’t share the same surname as Josephine Zhang, I decided to give MC her own surname, but still relatable to Caleb. Xia means summer, so both their surnames relate to the heat.
Ao - MC uses the “mysterious” / “profound” meaning. However, Ao was also chosen because of the association with Chinese mythology — the legend of Nüwa mentions Ao, a giant sea turtle that carries the immortal worlds on its back. Not only does this describe MC’s role with Philos, but Zayne directly discusses the legend of Nüwa himself in one of his cards. While I am using the Chinese meaning, in Japanese, Ao can also mean “vivid color,” which fits how the LIs view MC as the color to their worlds.
I also made sure to check that Ao Yang is a valid name that can be used in Chinese.
Extra (fitting) Fun Fact, if you’re into Pokémon: According to Pokemon XY and Pokemon Legends Z-A, Xerneas (X) gives life. Yveltal (Y) takes life. Xerneas represents Yin and Yveltal represents Yang. So Xerneas represents Caleb Xia (X), Yveltal represents MC—Ana Yang (Y).
Zygarde (Z) represents balance and moderation. Whenever Xerneas and Yveltal give or take in excess, Zygarde is sent to moderate them and restore balance to the world. In this way, Zygarde can represent Zayne (Z).
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Six: The Hospital
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
The moment we have been waiting for has finally arrived. Zayne now enters the scene and is here to stay! The trio cross paths, and it all starts with a popsicle and snowy day.
*****
Happy Holidays to all those who celebrate! Sorry for the long wait again—got caught up with personal stuff and wanted to give myself a little break. I hope I make up for it with this long chapter filled with goodies. The next chapter is also all planned out, since originally it was supposed to be part of this chapter, but I split it so it wouldn’t be too long. So, not only do you get a long chapter, but the next chapter should be uploaded faster.
Before you read—this chapter slightly differs from canon due to creative liberties and recent retcons in the game. I will be mainly sticking to the old canon rather than the new canon (although I still try to incorporate some references of the new canon). This is because I prefer the old canon and it is the only way I can fit it into my fic smoothly. To find out more about this decision, please read to the very end—I explain it in more detail in my footnote. I hope this doesn’t throw off any die hard canon fans too much, but at least it is still based in canon even if not to the exact letter.
*****
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/ comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
#####
It had been one summer afternoon.
Each day trudged along into the next, and when the next came, a sigh of relief could be spared, for it was a miracle. Eventually, the days became weeks, and a month finally passed.
The head count had surpassed 300,000.
Earth held a silent vigil for the fallen. The only source of life that remained ever busy came from tall white buildings—the hospitals. Hospitals overflowed with sound and movement, unlike the rest of the world. Monitors beeped in all rooms as doctors and nurses talked over family members, scrambling door to door. The hallways flooded with stretchers as new patients were rolled into the ER, unable to turn anyone away despite the increasingly cramped space. Some doctors hung their heads low as they emerged from their locked chambers, and with a single shake, devastated entire families. Another one, gone.
Doctors traveled from hospital to hospital, shelter to shelter. Healing the injured, tallying the dead. Every doctor had been put on standby. Because of the large numbers, doctors were often requested elsewhere to monitor capacity.
Linkon City was at the heart of it all, having been at the center of the rift, and thus needed the most help. Two such doctors, Dr. Li and Dr. Ju, were used to traveling internationally every couple months, as part of the Doctors Worldwide program. But they chose to remain in Linkon City, their home, during the Catastrophe.
Zayne always accompanied his parents. It was dangerous for a child, or anyone, to be left alone amid the chaos, so they stuck together. Out of worry, out of fear. Zayne had gotten used to being on his own for odd periods of time due to the nature of his parents’ jobs, which had become progressively more frequent as he aged, but the Catastrophe had rattled them all, and now his parents were fretting over what he wore outside and where he was going as if he was back in kindergarten again. Zayne felt… sorry for them.
The Catastrophe had shut down many places besides, so there really wasn’t anywhere else for Zayne to go. Nothing else to do. Learning was the only accessible hobby he had at the moment, and a hobby that he knew he could always rely on without fail.
Zayne still remembered the first body he had seen. A man covered in bruises, his arms hanging limp over the bed. He didn’t know the man. He never knew. Yet, something had stirred inside him. There was this… itch, underneath his skin, that he couldn’t quite scratch, and he had tried, tried until his skin turned red. It felt like a living creature was waiting to burst him open from the inside and take over his remains, like that one alien movie he had watched with his parents. What if one day he truly was replaced by an imposter? Or was he the imposter?
He had no idea what had triggered this sudden thought. All he knew was that he wished to never feel the sensation again. He had found that once he started performing errands for his parents to assist with their treatments, the feeling gave pause. But he couldn’t tell if the feeling had truly been quenched, or just merely distracted.
His eagerness to erase the thing inside of him had transformed into solid determination, one that devoured any knowledge handed to him, absorbing information quickly. Soon, he was capable of administering basic aid by himself, although the full scope of his capabilities had been limited by a license he did not yet have. Still, because of the nature and current state of affairs, it was not like anyone was willing to call him out for doing what may have otherwise been deemed illegal. During desperate times, desperate measures were taken, and any hand was considered a helping hand.
His parents had boasted about Zayne’s abilities to one of their colleagues, a well-known expert in his field. And that was when Dr. Fang had arrived into his life. After observing Zayne for some time, and walking in on him giving simple medical procedures under his parents’ supervision with great precision and steady hands, Dr. Fang declared the boy a prodigy and insisted he take him under his wing. After persuading his parents, which took little effort, Dr. Fang indulged Zayne’s hunger for knowledge and began advancing his training. Within just a couple weeks of shadowing Dr. Fang, Zayne had already memorized every single scientific term of the anatomy and could identify any type of diagnosis, even ones that most doctors tended to miss.
Zayne had always been an exceptionally bright child. He was constantly skipping grades, standing above his peers. At only 12 years old, he practiced college level math and read difficult, long texts as just a hobby. He had already participated and won national competitions, as well as wrote detailed theses. Learning just came naturally to him. With his current skill set, Dr. Fang claimed that Zayne could very well attend a university right now if he wanted. He even offered to put in a special word himself, to make sure he had an immediate place during enrollment.
Zayne said he would think about it. He still wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do yet with his future. He hadn't ever considered his options too deeply. Learning did not equal passion. It was simply just something he did not know how to turn off, as if he was some sort of tool whose only purpose was to learn, learn, learn. But for what, even?
That day, Zayne had accompanied his parents and Dr. Fang to a shelter to perform routine check ups on the children. The shelter had been in the red because of recent attacks and a high concentration of Metaflux—energy pulses that often preceded a Wanderer attack. The children were at great risk of Protocore Syndrome, if they had not yet already developed the symptoms. A wealthy sponsor ran the shelter, they told him, and it was of utmost importance to keep an eye on its condition. Zayne wasn’t too aware of what his parents or Dr. Fang did outside their work, but sometimes he had the sense that… their connections with certain people were odd. As if there was more to the story than them just being doctors. But he never dared to question it.
“Zaynie,” a whisper coddled his ears.
“Xiao Shen, sweetie…” it cooed at him.
“Why don’t you go play out in the garden?”
Usually, they used their English names. To maintain professionalism at all times, his mother said. As doctors who traveled internationally and conversed with foreigners, it was a necessary practice. English names were generally easier to pronounce and remember than Chinese names. But his mother, Althea Li, still occasionally used his Chinese name, only ever in private, whenever she wanted to get him to do something for her. Or whenever she was admonishing him.
Zayne had been reading a book Dr. Fang lent him. He slowly lifted his gaze from its pages to look at the garden through the windows of the shelter. “Nothing much is there. I'd rather just stay and help. I’m okay with it.”
His mother sighed. “I appreciate your help. I really do. But I’m a bit worried. You’re still just a child, at the end of the day. And a child should take breaks and go play.”
Zayne flinched. He slammed his book shut. “Aren’t I too old for that, now?”
Zayne hadn’t “played” in years. He was too busy studying.
“Your father and Dr. Fang are worried too.”
He stiffened. If Dr. Fang was even worried about him, then that must mean he really was overworking himself.
“I heard a vendor stopped by to give the children popsicles. Perhaps you can also get one to help you relax,” his mother mused.
Zayne made a face at his mother. When she crossed her arms sternly, Zayne sighed. He placed the book down and pushed open the screen door leading out to the garden. Arguing back was useless if both his parents and Dr. Fang were against him. And maybe he did need a break. He couldn’t concentrate well if he exhausted himself with stress and no rest. He knew that. Rest was important. But it wasn’t like he could control it… busying himself with the patients kept his mind off what was happening around him, inside him.
Zayne stepped out into the garden. A blast of humidity slapped his face. Typical summer air. He didn’t like being outside. Didn’t like the heat.
Summer used to be loud, alive with the sounds nature sung and offered. But now, there was only quiet. A silence that wrapped around the expanse of the globe like a blanket. The kind of silence that made it hard to predict what would happen next. The kind of silence that left only innermost thoughts in one’s company, thoughts that spiraled one after the other, thoughts that became so loud to fill the silence. It heightened the loneliness and fear, to the point of self-consciousness, making him feel overexposed even if no one was truly watching him. His ears kept twitching, straining, desperate to seek out any sound that would never arrive. It was as if the world had died.
Ever since the monsters arrived, the animals had vanished. Not even a single bird could be seen. It wasn’t known if the little creatures simply found refuge, or had become extinct. The polar night had only lasted for three days, ending on the third night when the Catastrophe had started. But the world still remained forever dark from all the mass fires and endless storms, as if the world refused to open up again, seeking permanent hibernation. News sources and experts had all claimed that from now on, the climate would experience drastic, unpredictable changes. The world had officially been marked for destruction. People were already panicking if the end was nigh, and various research facilities were racing to prevent that, or at least find a way to escape it. They were entering another Cold War. But Zayne had no idea if any of that was even possible. Safety. Refuge. Immortality. The odds all seemed rather damning.
And every classical text or movie would say that this search for ambitious knowledge that extended beyond the mortal limits would only end in disaster and disappointment. Zayne thought it was a common theme for a reason.
He gazed up at the sky, where the rift still hung in the distance, like a tiny rip. The Deepspace Tunnel, it was called. Something that always had been there, but never this close, never this connected. There were no signs of it closing, and no one knew what lurked on the other side. But what they did know was that it was the start of all the strange things that have happened, that it had opened them up to a whole new world that was irrevocably changed. It hung there like a reminder.
Just as he thought he would be embraced by silence again like he had been the past some weeks, a cry pierced the air, high and shrill. Yet with a certain melody to it, like a clanky jingle chiming through the wind.
Zayne had paused mid-step. Were the birds finally back?
But when he leaned forward, he realized it wasn’t a bird. Not a bird at all. But a child. A girl, to be precise. She was rubbing at her eyes, which were swollen, and her cheeks were streaked with shiny tears. His lips parted.
He had seen this girl before, when they had first arrived at the shelter a few days before. The moment their eyes had met, she turned her head away, refusing to be examined. Whenever he entered the same room as her, she would scamper to another. She seemed to be afraid of him. Which wasn’t too unexpected, as children often feared doctors. Zayne had thought nothing of it.
Crying children weren’t anything new. Ever since the Catastrophe started, Zayne had become accustomed to it. He had even learned to ignore it, tuning out the sounds while he worked on more urgent patients. But for some reason, this girl’s cries sounded… different. Was it because he had never heard her speak until now? While he wanted to ignore her like all the rest, and as he had done so before, he found himself approaching in her direction, stepping forward. Something tugged at his heart, towards her, as if she were pulling on it to lead him her way, like a compass.
For the first time in his short life, Zayne grew… curious. Knowledge had been something he just picked up to pass the time. Not once had he ever felt particularly inclined towards a specific area of knowledge. He respected his parents, and respected his peers, but he had not even thought about who they were as people to him. He just never had any preferences. His brain was only capable of thinking logically, not emotionally. But for some reason… something had shifted inside him once more. There was just something about the girl that captivated him, that made him want to seek her out of the other hundreds of ordinary children he had already seen. It was like he had been wandering a desert for so long, only to now come across a glittering oasis, and he was finally realizing how thirsty he had always been, confronted with what he had always been lacking.
Which didn’t make any sense.
Everything was supposed to make sense. He never got confused. But now, he was suddenly confused, and nothing was making sense. Things stopped making sense ever since the Catastrophe started and everything he thought he knew got warped beyond imagination. It was like the world had gone straight down the rabbit hole into Wonderland, but only he remained sane.
It made him aware that he was… special.
Was she, perhaps, special, too?
Before he could even stop himself, before he could turn back, he was already in front of her, looking down on her much smaller form. She really was so tiny. An interesting creature, even though he knew intellectually that she was just another child among hundreds. For some reason, something felt off about this girl, a feeling he had ever since their eyes first met, a feeling that now intensified by her tears, and he was determined to figure it out.
“Why are you crying?”
At his voice, the girl’s sniffles stopped. She gave one last sniff before lowering her hand from her face to look at the boy. A rich hazel-green with golden sparkles stared back at her. The color reminded her of a forest welcoming the first ray of daylight in the fall. She felt like she had seen that imagery somewhere before, several times, and had made that same comment to someone once… but as always, she could never place where these feelings of nostalgia and déjà vu came from. She only knew that they existed.
She blinked, and her vision expanded outside the golden green to catch a glimpse of black hair. Black reminded her of night, not daylight. It was a stark contrast to his eyes. His eyes…
She pulled away from him, jerking back. She had seen this boy a few times before. Perhaps that was why his eyes felt so familiar. She remembered now that she didn’t like his eyes. They looked so… quiet, still. Just like the dying world around them. His eyes were always set in a permanent hard glare, glancing at everyone the same, barely sparing anyone a second longer. It had unnerved her. It made her feel like he was judging her. And with the way he spoke to her just now, his tone dry but prying, she had a feeling he came all this way to do just that.
And she already had enough cruelty for the day.
Before the girl could turn around, the boy reached out for her, grabbing her hand. The girl stood still, stupefied. The world seemed to come alive in response to his unexpected touch as winds stirred with its breath, zephyrs kissing their hair. Flower petals danced in a vortex around them, as if performing a ritual for them.
Did the gods welcome this touch, or was it forbidden?
“Please,” the boy whispered, his breath joining the breeze. It tinkled around her like a soothing bell. She found herself relaxing, her shoulders lowering from their defensive position as she gazed back into his eyes. Looking closer, the forest actually brought her a cooling comfort. It felt like… home. A place she could not identify, that she did not have a place for in this world. Only one other person had managed to make her feel that way. “I just want to help.”
Something tugged at her heart, as if calling out to him, wanting to connect, like the red strings of fate wrapped around their fingers, linking each other for life. She was sure she did not know the boy, but it felt almost as if her soul had already seen him across multiple other lifetimes. She had felt this before, with him. She had no idea why she kept feeling this connection with others lately, but she wanted to find out, as if following the paths of the connections would provide all the answers to her forgotten past, would finally give her purpose in this world she did not belong.
If just being around this boy was enough to make her immediately relax, like the calming of a storm, then who was he to have this kind of effect on her?
It was the total opposite of whenever she was around him, who always stoked the fire inside her, made her feel like a fiery inferno, waiting to explode like fireworks, burning her alive.
She looked away from the boy, finding his inquiring eyes to be intimidating and overwhelming once more. “My… popsicle melted.”
The boy looked down, finally noticing the popsicle stick in her other hand, dripping with stained green juice. She had thought it was green apple at first, which had only made her melancholic after this morning, but upon tasting it, she realized it was pear flavored instead, and she couldn’t help but compare the color and the strong sweet tang to the boy standing before her now. She had grabbed the popsicle from the vendor, who often visited the shelter to provide the children popsicles. Popsicles always made her feel better when she was in a bad mood, and today she had been in a very bad one.
Caleb, you dummy… She bit back the tears that threatened to escape again, her lip trembling. She had no idea why he had done that. She thought they were finally getting closer. Since they met, the boy was… distant. He claimed that she was the one who left him, who would leave him, but to her, it always felt like she was the one chasing after him instead, that he was just waiting for the right moment to slip from her fingers. While he acted friendly towards her, there was a coldness in his eyes that never went away, a stiffness to his spine. But it was a different coldness from the eyes staring at her now. This boy’s eyes carried sterile indifference, a purely analytical gaze. But Caleb seemed to carry resentment for the whole world in his, a sharp cunningness prepared to strike at any threat. His eyes were guarded, an insurmountable wall. It was as if his eyes contained entire small galaxies, filled with universal secrets and wisdom that no one else was privy too. A vast infinite space that gave him more age beyond his years. She often wondered what life he must have lived, what experiences he had to endure, to be like that. He gave himself too much responsibility, giving him this air of maturity that separated him from the childish label he often gave her.
Sometimes, the strangeness terrified her. But she still had a feeling that he would never turn that against her. His eyes would still warm up the slightest bit whenever he gazed at her, like twin setting suns. He would always do things for her, no matter how absurd the request, but never for himself. He made her feel… safe, made her feel like home, even when they clashed and it felt like it was never meant to be. She just couldn’t resist him, couldn’t resist the familiarity that always pulled her back towards him.
Until… today. He had been so cruel. So selfish.
She had another nightmare. A man’s voice telling her it was all her fault, that she was the world’s calamity and deserved to die. She had gone to Caleb as she always had. So what went wrong? When she had requested they play in the garden again, Caleb had stopped her. He turned those cold eyes to her, now bottomless black holes, no ounce of the warmth she had gotten used to whenever he gazed at her.
I’m done playing with you. You’re only slowing me down. So let’s end it here.
What about our promises?
…I never meant a single one. They can never happen.
She knew he was pushing her away on purpose, could tell from the way his eyes wavered when she yelled back at him, and she knew her precious memories with him, where he always went out of his way to care for her, were not a lie. But he wouldn’t tell her the reason. He was hiding something from her. And she hated that.
How dare he hide things from her, but then always get upset whenever she hid trivial things from him? She would make sure he would never learn any secrets from her after this.
She had spent so long staring down the popsicle in anger and contemplation, that it had melted by the time she finally decided to eat it, dripping down her fingers.
The boy gave her a look, as if searching her soul for the truth, not believing her words. But upon seeing her forlorn and wary expression, as she peered up at him out from underneath her eyelashes, he pursed his lips and didn’t press further. For that, she was grateful.
“I can fix that for you, if you’d like,” Zayne found himself saying instead. He had no idea what was possessing him. Why did he want to help her so bad? A girl he just met? What made her so different from the other patients he helped treat? What had changed from before? But… he found himself not wanting her to cry, not wanting her to be scared of him anymore.
The girl had already perked her head up, as if she was looking at him for the first time, her eyes wide, no trace of fear or wariness left behind. “You can? But how? It’s impossible. The vendor doesn’t offer any seconds. He only brings enough for each child. Stock is limited because of the Catastrophe.”
Zayne shrugged. “It’s not impossible if I use my Evol.”
The girl stared at him skeptically. “And what does your Evol do?”
He cleared his throat. “Ice. I’ll freeze it back up for you.”
Zayne had recently awakened his Evol, back on the first day of the Catatrosphe, along with many others. His Evol was ice, although he didn’t remember what happened when he awakened. He still wasn’t used to having any power, after having lived normally without one for so long, but he managed to get a good grasp on it by now, or so he thought. How hard could freezing one popsicle be?
The girl brought the stick closer to her chest. “You sure you can do that…?”
The boy frowned. Was she really that afraid of him? He knew he wasn’t exactly the most approachable among his peers, but he didn’t think he was scary, either. “Well, I’ve been studying how to patch people up, so I’m sure I can bandage up a popsicle.”
The girl wrinkled her nose. “Is that… supposed to be some kind of joke?”
The boy’s lips quirked slightly up. “Maybe. Let me see?”
He gestured to the popsicle. After staring at him for a moment longer, she slowly handed the popsicle to him. Placing his hand on the stick, Zayne took a deep breath and furrowed his brow. His hand glowed white, and a small flurry of snowflakes emanated from his palm. The snowflakes gently curled up the stick and over her fingers, tickling her skin. The girl watched in awe at what was probably the closest she had ever gotten to seeing real snow. The liquid that had stained her fingers slowly retracted along with the snowflakes, until they were completely gone. A sharp sizzle whistled in her ears as the liquid was clumped back onto the stick, and the snowflakes clamped onto it, freezing it over as a lumpy popsicle. That was all that remained.
“Pfft,” the girl covered her mouth. “That’s what you call a popsicle?”
Zayne could feel his cheeks heating, just like whenever his parents teased him. “What, you want a redo?”
The girl shook her head, a grin stretching across her face from ear to ear. “N-no! This is perfect! I didn’t think you could create something so… cute.”
The girl no longer remembered why she thought the boy was scary. He seemed just like any other boy at that moment, with an extra hint of sweetness to him. The sweetness was refreshing after always getting a mouthful of sour from a certain somebody else. It seemed she had been the judgmental one instead.
Zayne huffed, his cheeks slightly puffing out. He averted his gaze, rolling his eyes. “It’s not cute. It’s awful.”
The girl stuck her tongue out to lap at the popsicle. “See? It’s good as new! It doesn’t matter how it looks. As long as I have something sweet, I can feel happy even on a bad day. Your Evol is so useful! Thank you.”
Zayne swallowed. He never really thought of his Evol as “useful” before. He had viewed it more as an inconvenience, something that he never wanted that had been bestowed upon him anyways. But… she seemed happy. And that made him feel… light. Her bright smile was much more preferable and mesmerizing than her awful crying from earlier. He was glad to have gotten rid of that, after bothering him so much.
“I think you’d make a good doctor too. That’s what you’re studying, right? You must be truly amazing then. What kind of doctor?”
Zayne frowned, keeping his head down, not looking her in the eye. He didn’t know about that. He wasn’t doing any of this out of a particular sense of duty or sympathy. That’s what would’ve made a good doctor. He was just passing time, doing what his parents did, getting rid of his own unease. He had no particular passion for it outside it being a mere distraction and selfish endeavor. Could he really call himself a doctor? “I haven’t decided yet. It’s nothing serious, anyways. Just copying my parents.”
The girl hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I think you can be whoever you want to be.”
Zayne scoffed. If only. In response, the girl gestured at her popsicle and pointed to the popsicle stand near the threshold. “You should have some too! I’ll get you one next time. Having something sweet is best when you’re feeling down! Maybe it’ll cure that permanent frown of yours.”
Next time? They were going to meet a next time?
Zayne’s frown deepened. “I know how to smile, if that’s what you’re implying.”
Zayne moved his gaze. Having caught his eye on something interesting behind her, a plan began to form in his mind. He leaned forward, the sudden movement causing the girl to stumble backward. He reached out towards her again to snatch her arm that held the popsicle. Sticking his tongue out, he licked at it as he stared into the girl’s eyes, a sweet flavor bursting in his mouth. She gasped, a blush forming along her cheeks. Zayne found himself smirking at her. “You’re right. Delicious.”
He wanted the moment to last forever.
Zayne and the girl stared at each other. They opened their mouths at the same time, only to close them again. They shifted their feet, looking away, unable to say anything more. Nervous laughter erupted from her throat. He turned his gaze back to her, clenching and unclenching his fists, before slowly reaching out to her again. But before his hand could touch her, the girl clutched onto her chest, and her popsicle fell to the ground.
Zayne suddenly became fully alert. “What’s wrong?”
The girl shook her head, collapsing onto her knees, her breaths short and hard as she struggled to gasp. Her hand never left her chest as trembles wracked her body.
Oh, god. Was it a seizure? A heart attack? These were all common symptoms. He could recall the shelter staff mentioning the girl had heart problems and took medicine for it. But something about this felt… different. He needed to examine her, to get her inside…
He went to the girl again, to see if he could get her to lay down fully and get rid of any restrictions that could be halting her breathing, just like Dr. Fang had taught him. But when he stepped towards her, the wind picked up, becoming oddly strong. Zayne covered his face. Was a storm happening? He needed to get her inside, now!
The sky rippled. Zayne swept his gaze upwards. The black, bottomless rift above them pulsed, as if it was a beating heart instead. Supposedly entirely different worlds, different dimensions laid beyond the rift, the home of the monsters that had invaded their land. It matched the rhythm of Zayne’s own beating heart, which was now pounding in his ears. He briefly wondered if he was going to have a heart attack too.
An arm extended from that rift, followed by several more, until suddenly there was an entire horde.
“W-Wanderers,” the girl rasped.
Zayne had never seen them personally. He had been fortunate. He was usually inside, traveling place to place, which made him always miss attacks and sightings. He had only ever heard of stories. Now, as he stared at their elongated forms, he was overcome with reality. His stomach churned, a dizzy wave of nausea hitting him. His lips curled back as he fought off a wretch. The whole air suddenly reeked with these creatures, a rotten smell of decay. His body shuddered in revulsion, more intense than any other revulsion he had felt before, and he had thought that the long orange sticks his parents always forced him to eat were weird enough. Absolutely disgusting.
“I’m… going to get help,” Zayne struggled to get out, holding his nose, clamping his mouth shut as he willed himself to swallow. Don’t. Not here.
Yes, that was what they needed to do. Get help. Let the adults take care of this. Contact the forces. But for some reason, he was unable to move. The itching had come back, starting from his arm, more painful than ever before. It was distracting him from any coherent thought. His mind was just filled with hectic static.
The monsters were closing in. Do something!
A bright, shining light blindsided him. He turned his head to see the girl beside him, floating in mid-air, encased in the light that burned his eyes. A field of energy surrounded her, shielding everything else away from her, shielding him away from her. When the blast of energy faded away, the girl collapsed onto the ground, along with the Wanderers that had been making their way towards them. They dropped like flies and disintegrated into dust, fading away with the wind, leaving behind no trace.
A chill ran through Zayne. “W-What the…”
Tiny drops of red painted the ground, spilling from the girl’s hands. He hadn’t even seen her directly touch anything. How was she bleeding? Was she injured?
Her hand went back to her chest, grasping at it. She let out a piercing shriek. Zayne covered his ears. The girl was convulsing now, her body spasming on the ground. Her eyes had rolled to the back of her head. It seemed her condition only got worse after exhausting herself with… whatever that was.
It looked like the remaining essence of the Wanderers was going straight toward the girl. The shadows pierced right through her chest. Zayne had no time to react. Suddenly, her body was glittering, different from before. Her skin continued to bleed as something akin to… scales? Shiny scales erupted from her skin, latching onto it like a protective cover. He squinted. No, the scales looked more like… crystals?
The girl shrieked again, making him shirk back. Her back arched, and a large hunk of crystal erupted right out of her chest. Zayne’s eyes widened in horror as he watched the crystal expand and open up like a flower, quickly imprisoning her face and silencing her screams, which now have turned into low guttural growls. Only her eyes remained, but those too began to glow unnaturally, inhumanly.
What… what was he seeing? Should he be seeing this? She looked just like… just like… just like those monsters…
Something hard slammed into the back of Zayne’s head. He slouched forward, keeling over, finally giving into his sickness. Prickles erupted from the back of his neck. The world around him suddenly became so, so slow… as if he was the only one moving, and the rest could not keep up with his movements. Or was it the other way around? A ringing developed in his ears, growing louder and louder, deafening him, making him fear for a moment that his eardrums would explode—
Then suddenly, there was silence again.
He let out a shaky breath, the only sound he could hear. He was met with a frosty fog that enveloped the room. It took him a second to realize that he no longer was feeling the hot humid air, but something far colder, more akin to winter.
He frowned. Should it be this cold in summer? Or was it actually winter? Did he lose track of time?
Crackles and sizzles filled his ears. He gazed around him. He could see icicles forming all over the room. Room? He was back home? But it was so dark… he could barely see a thing.
The floorboards creaked underneath heavy footsteps, creating an echo. Zayne’s head shot up.
“Zayne…?”
He knew that voice. But why was the voice here? He squinted as the shadow approached him. “Dad…?”
He let out a breath of relief, his shoulders sagging. Oh, thank god. It had all just been a dream. It must have been. What even was that?
“Zayne…!” A hand reached out for him. It was his own father, embracing him for a hug. He wanted nothing more than to run into his arms, never having been so thrilled to see his father again. But he couldn’t move again. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was still very… wrong.
He found himself backing up, avoiding the hand. The hand missed him. As it brushed past, it left behind a freezing chill. Zayne’s heart stuttered as he stared at the hand.
That wasn’t his father’s hand. But why did it have his voice?
A clump of crystals aimed straight for his heart. Zayne couldn’t scooch back anymore. His back hit a wall. A dead end. Left with no other options, he brought his hands in front of his face, bracing himself.
His breath shook once more, and he closed his eyes. The painful itch shivered underneath his skin. His arm felt heavy, so heavy. The pain throbbed and prickled until he felt nothing at all, becoming numb. He heard that frostbite could kill the nerves and in severe cases, amputate. He opened his eyes and immediately wished he hadn’t. His arms were pitch black, blending in with the darkness. A fog of snowflakes was coming off it like smoke, and it creaked as if his arms were made of porcelain glass instead of flesh.
Ice. His arms had turned into pure ice. The small fragments of light that poked through the room reflected on it like stained glass, creating rainbows. His teeth chattered, rattling his skull. He had never felt this cold before. It was frigid. Was he going to freeze to death, before the monster could even get to him? He didn’t know what he preferred. Either way, death was coming for him…
He was trapped. A prisoner of his own making. He was going to succumb to his fate when the monster grazed his hand. That single touch, and suddenly power surged through him, accumulating into his hands, and bursted out his palms. For a second, there was nothing. Then cracks of light appeared in the crystal armor of the monster, until it exploded like shattered glass. The crystals rained down on him like hail, and a pillar of black ice rose from the ground where the monster stood, impaling it right through the middle.
The Wanderer began to fade away into dust. But as it shed off the skin, underneath the armor revealed someone very familiar, a face he had grown up with, a face he had seen just recently.
Zayne’s eyes slowly widened, wider and wider. Until finally his mouth opened, and a loud scream ripped from his throat.
Wake up, wake up, wake up!
His scream melted into the ringing in his ears. His surroundings warped around him until he was once more transported elsewhere.
A snowflake dropped onto his hand. Followed by another, and another, until a steady snowfall began. The grimy, rickety floor underneath him had expanded into a vast blanket of white.
Was the nightmare finally over? Or was he still trapped in the neverending torture?
He slowly lifted his head. Another silhouette stood before him. Its coat billowed in the air behind it. The figure was tall, looming above him. As Zayne stared into the endless darkness, he could swear he was looking at the abstract concept of death right in the eye. Is this… what the grim reaper looked like?
His body lurched forward, and suddenly, he was the grim reaper. And he had already seen this scene several times before. A dance he was always forced to play. A force he couldn’t stop, a force he couldn’t control. His hand reached forward, gazing into glowing eyes encased by crystal, as he shot them down one by one.
Screams filled his ears, but they weren’t his this time. It was the pleas of the fallen, begging to be spared, begging to be saved, begging to not become monsters.
They all sounded the same to him, whispers in the wind that bounced off his head. He pressed on, willing himself to not hear. Hesitation was not allowed, couldn’t be allowed, or else…
“You…”
One plea among the many struck his ears, clearer than the rest. It rang in his head, vibrated. “Why… must you do this… Don’t…”
His body was both his and not his own. It felt too big, too grown for him, as if the body belonged to an adult or even an eider, but it moved whenever he moved, like a mirror, and he could no longer tell them apart. The old body shuddered. He wanted to stop, to listen to the voice, but the body wouldn’t let him. The body wouldn’t let the pleas get to him.
All these pleas… they’d do nothing to stop him. It was all futile. The end couldn’t be avoided. It never was. He couldn’t feel guilty. It had to be done. He needed to get rid of them, before it got worse. That was mercy.
These creatures weren’t ever meant to exist. They were a mistake created by humanity. Abominations. They carried with them all of humanity’s sins, their greedy corruption and their dirtied hands soaked in innocent blood. They couldn’t be spared. It was punishment for their crimes. He must erase them all. Pave way for a new, cleaner world. Find and protect the one. That’s how the cycles always worked. That’s what he was sent for. He was the flood sent by God, the Four Horsemen guiding the apocalypse.
A small hand reached out for him, a one last attempt to get through to him. He smacked it away. He couldn’t get attached. Couldn’t be swayed. Couldn’t be touched. He was the harbinger of death, and they were his target.
“Your existence is a mistake,” he found himself saying. His voice was deep, cold, unlike his own, but words that passed his lips and came from his mouth nonetheless. “You must be eliminated.”
His whisper permeated and curled around the air, serving as the final sentence. The pleas finally stopped.
Zayne blinked, his chest heaving. He had to force out his breaths, push through the burn. The flurry of snow was so thick, he could barely see anything past it. As his eyes readjusted to the sight, he could make out the surroundings before him once more.
A pool of red soaked through the pure white snow. It blossomed like a flower. A strong floral scent hit his nose, overpowering the metallic copper. It smelled like… jasmine?
He blinked again. He felt smaller. He slowly looked down to his own hands. Red. So much red. Red everywhere. Was that blood? No, it couldn’t be. Why would he be covered in blood?
He looked back up. The girl laid a couple feet ahead of him in the snow, in the middle of the red, which had been seeping from her chest, covered by ice.
What… just happened? What did I do? Snow in the middle of summer? Did… I do that? Did I… lose control of my Evol…?
He whipped his head to the side. Dust faded off into the wind, leaving no trace of what had transpired behind, leaving only him and the girl to have known. Inches of thick snow covered the ground. A blizzard had started. Summer became winter.
Crunch, crunch. He turned his head again, to the back of the shelter. The popsicle stand that had been there was now completely a mess, turned over and buried in the snow. The vendor was nowhere to be seen. In fact, nobody else was. Only a boy stood in front of it, gaping at Zayne. Oh… he’s…
That boy. He had seen him before.
He watched as his surprise morphed into a face with severe lines. His eyes narrowed, burning with fire, glaring bright with hatred. He took a step forward and another, breaking into a run, easily powering through the snow. He watched his mouth open wide as he shouted something at the top of his lungs. It sounded like some sort of battle cry as he rushed towards him.
The air clasped around Zayne’s throat. As the boy ran towards him, his features seemed to blur, overlapping with the image of the monsters. Was he another one? Would he have to eliminate him too?
Zayne’s arms were still covered in the black ice. It throbbed, as if hardening itself even further. No, it seemed to be expanding up his arm, curling up his neck… He had to get rid of it. But the only way to get rid of it was…
His arm rose in the air, raised at the boy, prepared to do what he must for both of their safeties. But then he was pulled away, and his arm fell.
The world around him resumed at full force, and suddenly he was overcome with sound and movement again. His nightmare had finally, and officially, ended.
“Call 120. There’s no way the girl can receive proper treatment here with the limited equipment…”
Dr. Fang’s voice commanded beside him. The dial of a phone began to ring. But he didn’t know whose phone it was.
“Zayne? Li Shen! Can you hear me? What on Earth did you do…?”
His mother was now at his side, grabbing his shoulders. Zayne shook his head. Some of the shelter staff had managed to grab hold of the other boy who had been trying to get to him, doing their best to restrain him and calm him down. Zayne looked down at his arms again. The black ice had receded, as if it was never there. Was it even ever there?
“I… I don’t know,” Zayne said, dazed. I just wanted to help. I never meant to hurt her…
Did I?
How was he supposed to fight this…?
“Okay… it’s okay. We’ll figure something out. When the Catastrophe ends… how about we move? Just like we discussed? Would a change of scenery help?” his mother brushed aside his hair. “Perhaps to Skyhaven? I heard that progress has been going smoothly…”
Zayne bit his lip. If he moved, he wouldn’t see her again, would he? There would never be that next time. And it was all his fault. He had ruined everything with his own hands.
“Think about it, okay?” his mother rubbed his arms. “No pressure.”
But he could tell from the slight tremble in her stance and the unsteadiness in her voice that there was only one answer she would accept. Zayne only nodded. Dr. Fang stared at him, clucking his tongue. “Was it something you saw?”
Did they not see anything?
Zayne didn’t respond. Couldn’t respond. It was his own little secret. No one else deserved to know what she was. It wouldn’t be fair to her.
“You don’t want to say? That’s fine,” Dr. Fang nodded, then sighed. “I’ve encountered my fair share of strange things in this world. Things that can’t be explained. It can be scary sometimes. Have I ever told you about my Arctic expeditions?”
Ah. That was how Dr. Fang and his parents had met, supposedly. Although they never went into detail about what research they were doing in the Arctic, or how it related to medicine. At some point, his parents had stopped going on the expeditions, when they had to start taking care of Zayne more, and their main jobs took them away. But Dr. Fang was still very well invested in his own research.
“What we saw there that day was…” Dr. Fang murmured. Then his eyes widened, and he turned away, scrambling for his phone. “Wait a second. I believe I need to make a call…”
“A call? To who?” His mother frowned at Dr. Fang. Her hold on Zayne tightened. “You wouldn’t mean…”
“Dr. Li, keep an eye on your son. I’ll personally be treating this girl.”
“You’re not taking her anywhere without me!” the boy shouted at them, fighting off his captors.
His glare was still permanently fixed on Zayne. He gulped.
Sirens wailed in the distance. Zayne watched on as paramedics rolled the girl onto a stretcher. Dr. Fang had hung up his phone, rushing to the girl’s side, giving the paramedics orders. After the boy fought his way through, Dr. Fang waved a dismissive hand at the paramedics to allow him through, calling him a family member of the girl.
The ambulance doors closed, and they drove off. Zayne could vaguely hear his mother mention visiting the hospital, if Zayne would like, to check on the girl, but Zayne didn’t want to see her. He already knew what her condition was.
Zayne fixed his gaze on the ground where the girl had laid. The popsicle stick they had been holding only seconds before had crumbled in half, the popsicle shielded in a block of ice. Zayne found himself oddly craving another one. Sweet things taste best when you’re feeling down. I can feel happy even on a bad day, as long as it is sweet.
A ray of light had broken through the clouds, parting the dark sky. The first break of dawn at last. The murmurings got louder. Was it a miracle? Was the Catastrophe finished?
As he stared off into the distance… a butterfly landed on part of the stick, with the light seemingly shining down on it, welcoming the return of critters. He blinked, and he swore he could see the grim reaper again, staring at him. He gasped. The grim reaper was gone.
Zayne no longer knew who he was. He was more confused about his identity than ever before.
His brief moment of happiness had been short lived, as if warning him… that he could not allow himself to have that happiness.
***
Zayne opened his eyes with a start. His chest burned with each rise and fall. He sucked in a huge gulp of air, then swallowed, getting rid of the dryness in his mouth.
That day replayed in his mind. It haunted him whenever he closed his eyes. Always without fail. A nightmare he could never escape.
It was the same dream every single time. A man in a dark coat, his hands covered in blood. The grim reaper. But the grim reaper was also him. And he was the grim reaper. At the end of the dream, only a single jasmine flower ever remained, growing steadily by his side.
The last thing he saw was the girl’s dead body in the endless snow, with no hope of spring ever arriving.
He dreamed about being the grim reaper so much… he wondered if this world was actually the dream instead. How did he not know if he was still dreaming right this very second?
“Zayne! Dr. Fang is here to pick us up!”
It was another day in this life. Zayne groaned, and slid off his bed, ready to start the new day.
***
“Hello, Linkon City! It’s another bright day in winter as we greet the New Year. Can you believe it, yet? We’re finally finding a sense of normalcy after the Catastrophe, thanks to the Hunters who protect this city. We all owe it to Lumiere and our president for creating the Hunters Association. Other countries have followed suit, taking organized measures in case of another emergency.”
“Unfortunately, while the Catastrophe is officially over, the war has just begun. We still have to live with Wanderers, and probably always will for the rest of our lives. The Hunters will continue to update us on any changes in fluctuations and help us adapt to this new environment. The Deepspace Tunnel still remains open with no signs of closing. Expect frequent space anomalies and climate changes from here on out. Pilots have been dispatched to explore the depths of the Tunnel for any peculiar sightings.”
“EVER continues to make progress with Project Skyhaven. It is expected to be finished by the end of the year. With the rise of Protocore Syndrome, it is encouraged to contact EVER facilities for immediate treatment. EVER will save us—”
The radio clicked off. Dr. Fang took his hand off the knob, clucking his tongue. “You hear about them everywhere now. EVER is really taking advantage of the situation, huh? At first, no one paid any attention to them. Ascending evolution? Impossible! The world will last for another billion years until the sun dies out, way past our lifetime. But then the Catastrophe happened, and now that everyone believes the world is ending sooner than we originally thought, what EVER stands for has become more appealing than ever to those who live in panic and fear for their lives.”
Zayne tilted his head. “And what do you think of that?”
Dr. Fang remained silent for a while. “Even if it was possible, it can’t lead to anything good for us. EVER is a wealthy corporation, and all corporations with that much wealth obtained it by not having the best ethics. It’s how the game is played. I doubt they actually care about saving humanity. They just care about saving themselves, and finding a way to use other lives for their benefits. I believe their true purpose is just to find a way to control the public for whatever grander scheme they have in mind.”
“You sound like you hate EVER, but yet I heard you are still doing research projects for them,” Zayne’s father said. Zayne flinched, shifting in his seat. It was always startling to hear him speak, when in his dreams, he…
“It’s the Protocores, isn’t it?” Zayne’s mother cut in. “Ever since the Wanderers appeared, there has been a great emphasis on Protocores and Protocore Syndrome. They have skyrocketed in the market and criminals have started to even smuggle whatever they can get their hands on. Non-Evolvers believe it can even give them powers they normally couldn’t have, powers like Evol users. Others believe the right Protocore can cure all illnesses, like Protocore Syndrome. There’s a whole discussion on whether Protocore technology is actually ethical or not, but… that’s why you’re still doing research for EVER despite your beliefs, right?”
Dr. Fang shook his head. “Our research does overlap. But that’s where it ends. I didn’t side with EVER then, and I still don’t now. The reasons why I’ve been investigating Protocore Syndrome differ. It has to do with the heart, after all. As doctors, we find solutions to extend life so no one has to die before their time, not control their life from death completely. Death is something that has to come for us all. Immortality isn’t all that. It can cause great, unwanted effects on the world if we never welcome the next generations who are supposed to learn from our mistakes. And sounds like a lonely existence, after sometime.”
Zayne grinned at Dr. Fang. Practical. Realistic. He knew human limits. That’s why Zayne liked him.
Yes, there was simply no way to avoid death completely. He knew that, yet for some reason…
Dr. Fang pulled up to the hospital. Akso Hospital. The heart of Linkon City, and Dr. Fang’s main headquarters. He had been frequenting here more recently, now that the Catastrophe had finally settled, and the shelters dwindled as children were relocated. The skies had cleared, the sun in their lives once again, and the animals came back, after that day. As if his outburst had speared the first day of light, welcoming the new dawn. Had he hurt her, or saved the world?
Zayne’s parents worked with Doctors Worldwide. But they still remained in Linkon for now, waiting for a better opportunity to move, keeping an eye on the situation as the Catastrophe calmed down, and to keep an eye on… Zayne. They never said that, but Zayne knew from the looks they snuck his way whenever they held private conversations. It had not escaped his notice that he had been spending more time at Akso Hospital alongside Dr. Fang, without his parents.
Did they… see him as a monster too? Ever since that day—
“We’re going to meet an old friend of mine and your parents,” Dr. Fang said. “Do you remember the Arctic expeditions I told you about?”
Zayne nodded his head.
“Well, on one of them, sometime after your parents stopped going… my team encountered a space anomaly. It was shortly before the Catastrophe. Probably should have served as an omen. What we found there that day… well, it was a discovery that could shake the world. The researchers on that team decided to do more research on the anomaly alongside EVER. I, for one, was more dedicated to my own research and wanted nothing to do with it. Still, your parents and I remained in close touch with at least one of the researchers, a rather headstrong woman. She recently came to me, asking me to treat her granddaughter’s Protocore Syndrome.”
Zayne wrinkled his nose as his parents and Dr. Fang exchanged looks. “What’s this about?”
“Well… I thought it would be great if you could study Protocore Syndrome alongside me. It’s going to be a very valid field in the future. The girl is only a few years younger than you. She also has an older brother that’s closer to your age. You should take care of her.”
“So, you want me to babysit?” Zayne sighed. “Isn’t her brother capable? Or do you just… not want me around.”
Oh. Was that what that was about?
“Shen… Zayne Li, no,” his mother reached out for him, patting his hand. “We just… want you to get along with other peers your age, just in case. Remember what we always say about you needing to socialize more? You never know when you might have to leave it all behind.”
Zayne pursed his lips. “Fine.”
He doubted he’d like either of them.
***
Zayne regretted agreeing.
Dr. Fang had led Zayne and his parents into the hospital to his office. Neither of them had looked him in the eye since they arrived. But it was just as well. Zayne had trouble looking them in the eye ever since that day, too. Especially his father.
It was just… weird. To dream about that every night, but then to wake up to them like everything was still all right, that they were both still alive, and human.
He found himself subconsciously shuffling closer to his mother.
He didn’t know how much time he had left with them. He felt like his nightmares were his future. Just waiting to happen.
And as the door to Dr. Fang’s office opened, it felt like his nightmares had finally bled into his reality.
“Josephine! I hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”
“Not at all, Noah. We were early. The children don’t like hospitals, you see, so I had to make sure we came right away before it was too difficult. I hope you don’t mind—Caleb insisted on coming with.”
A woman who looked around Dr. Fang’s age stood before them. Zayne’s eyes widened. He recognized this woman. Back during the first days of the Catastrophe, when…
His eyes immediately traveled behind her, to where two children stood.
Zayne gasped. His heart stopped.
How is that possible?
Dr. Fang turned his head, smiling at Zayne. He gestured to the woman. “Zayne, I’d like to introduce you to my friend, Josephine. And her two children.”
A girl peeked from Josephine’s legs. Her oh so familiar eyes stared Zayne down.
It was at that moment, Zayne knew for certain… his life had indeed become irrevocably changed that day the rift had opened. The hands of a clock began to tick, as if each tick brought him a step closer to his inevitable fate. An ominous countdown.
He was helpless to stop the tides of time. For the first time he wondered… did he even truly have free will?
#####
For those who have already read the Death and Rebirth chapters, you may already be aware that this chapter differs slightly from (new) canon.
Nostalgic Sweetness, Zayne’s second bond story, states that the popsicle incident occurred sometime during the Catastrophe, in a garden, and that it was his first time meeting MC. This is the information I am going off of for this chapter. The whole popsicle incident occurring in the shelter’s garden was a creative liberty I made to have Caleb present at the time, to make their connections all the more messy.
Death and Rebirth had debunked this somewhat. Instead of during the Catastrophe, they made it occur after the Catastrophe now, and instead of it being their first meeting, it’s the day before Zayne leaves. However, I could not figure out how to fit this with the aquarium scene that will be at the end. And while this is the new canon, it seems to still sometimes bring up the old canon anyways. The cards still imply that Zayne and MC spent much longer than just a summer together, and the Timelock story that released alongside Death and Rebirth as well as the more recent card, Chilling Crescendo, contradict the timeline of Death and Rebirth.
So… I have decided to stick with the older canon regardless. We are going to keep rolling with this version since the game seems like it will keep changing its mind on the order of these events.
As I’ve said, it fits better into my fic. It makes for a better first meeting of the trio. It establishes their dynamic so we already know WHY Caleb hates Zayne at first, WHY Zayne refuses to talk to MC at first, WHY MC forgets that encounter with Zayne in the main story and forgets Caleb again when they are adopted… it also explains WHY Josephine was suddenly able to find MC after not being able to find her for so long, and the start of EVER discovering there may be something special with MC after all, their growing interest in Zayne (gives a whole “they are all weird and fucked and now have to live like everything is normal when it’s not” vibe, which is the whole point of this fic).
Also in my fic, this will be longer than just a summer. It will be a full year. I feel like it wouldn’t be as impactful if MC only knew Zayne for a couple weeks. Getting closer again over a year, only for Zayne to up and leave her without a word, sounds more impactful to me, and would also explain why Zayne and MC (and Caleb) are still so attached years later (a year relationship versus a couple weeks relationship makes more sense to me, because otherwise they are still practically strangers and have no reason to have strong feelings for each other—even though I know “insta-love” is the trope). I also think it’s a neat cycle for Zayne and MC to have met again after New Year’s in their childhood and then again as adults. It reads more thematically.
So since a lot of stuff about Zayne was retconned in game… just think of it as me going in the direction the game originally intended before changing its mind. His university path will also be based on what the game originally intended, for future reference to avoid future confusion (this means he’ll be attending Skyhaven University for 8 years, not the newest retcon of him attending Linkon University for 3 then Skyhaven for 5, unless I somehow change my mind later). Dawnbreaker will also mainly follow how Dawnbreaker was portrayed in Still in Dark, although you’ll still see some connection to the Dawnbreaker in Death and Rebirth.
In other circumstances I would’ve changed this chapter to fit current canon, since I am a lore accurate girlie, but since I actually prefer the older version to whatever this new version is, and I don’t see how it can fit my fic in any other way with what else I want… yeah. Hope that doesn’t throw too many of you guys off!
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Five: The Adoption
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
We are finally hitting the main point of this fic. Lots of lore tidbits and callbacks to the game in this one. It’s all starting to come together.
WARNING: This fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of potential spoilers, child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction and mutual pining (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
#####
Caleb stared at a familiar tree rooted to the ground. Its thick trunk was littered with markings—a bunch of jagged lines stacked on top of each other, each one a bit higher than the last, resting just short of his own eye level.
He curled his fingers around the pocket knife in his pocket. He had swiped it from one of the adults, since he wasn’t allowed near sharp objects. They had been afraid of what he would do with one in his possession. But he wasn’t going to let a silly rule interfere with her wishes.
A smile graced his lips. Even with all her whining, she had yet to outgrow him.
Finding a groove in the tree, Caleb hoisted himself up the gnarly trunk until he breached the canopy and found what he was looking for.
The girl turned her head at the rustling of leaves, pouting when she spotted Caleb. “How did you know where I was?”
“I’ve told you before. I always know where you are, Pip-squeak. It’s my super power. I’ll never lose sight of you again.”
Caleb crawled along the branches until he was sitting beside the girl. Their legs dangled in the air, gently brushing against each other. He gave her a little shrug. “Plus, you always come here after a nightmare.”
It had become a habit of hers, although he supposed he was to blame for that. During the first few nights she had spent at the shelter, she could not sleep. Even though the boys and girls had separate rooms, Caleb would always find himself tip-toeing into the girl’s chamber to keep an eye on her. That was the excuse he claimed, although the truth was that he could never sleep either. He had become even more restless with her arrival. She had never been so close, so accessible before. He only wanted to catch one glimpse to put his worries to ease. But each time he visited her, the girl moaned and whimpered in her sleep, tossing and turning. At one point, when Caleb tried sliding into bed next to her, to calm her down, she had flung her blanket off the bed and kicked him square in the chest. Caleb had gotten tired of it. If she was so noisy, loud enough to hear from across the hall, how was he supposed to sleep too? She was just making it worse for everyone. So one day, after scouting around for solutions, he decided to sneak her out.
“Come on, Pip-squeak. Let me show you something.”
“Caleb! We’re not allowed to go outside past curfew!”
“Who cares? You might as well already be breaking curfew with all the yelling you do at night. We’re better off clearing your mind instead, so the rest of us can finally get some peace and quiet.”
The girl pouted her lips at him. When they reached the garden, her frown deepened as they gazed around the square patch of land that was guarded by a tall wired fence to keep them inside. “Everything looks broken.”
In the middle of the garden, bits and pieces of a playground creaked at her words, as if proving a point.
It was impossible to tell what the playground had looked like before. Before this had become a shelter, it must have been attacked by Wanderers, just like every other spot on the planet had been. The equipment had blasted apart and scattered across the yellowing, dried up grass. In one corner was what looked like a swing set, except the chains had fallen off the ridges, no longer keeping the seats upright as they now dragged on the ground. The occasional wind blew at the chains, making them chime and clink together as they slithered along, but with no real sway.
A hunk of plastic was buried in some sand in another corner. The plastic had eroded, revealing metal underneath. A dirty, chunky orange had sprouted from the metal and began to wrap around the plastic, taking over its original color which had faded away into a pale, desaturated tint that blended with the sand, impossible to tell. Whatever this structure had been, there was nothing left of it now other than similar parts that curved around the garden, its round shape reminding him of a huge caterpillar. If he had to guess, perhaps that was supposed to have been the slide at some point.
A stray beam of wood was further away, flat on the ground. Stumps stood on each end, where the handles should have been, ridding the wood from its identity as a children’s ride.
Caleb didn’t have a normal childhood. Not that he could even remember much of it now if he tried, all of his memories blurring into a general vibe of unpleasantness and an innate desire to fly. Only those abstract feelings and stray conversations remained in his past, the details completely lost to him. And even then, he could only remember those conversations if a certain word or object or smell triggered his memory. Regardless, he didn’t want to rely on those memories, filled with too much tragedy and despair, the source of their nightmares.
It was just not possible for Caleb to have known what it was that normal children did on his own. So, he had heard from the other children that the playground was a common activity that brought them joy. He never paid much attention to what had laid in the garden himself, too distracted from the drowning of his own thoughts, but he had assumed it would be enough to also bring joy into the girl’s eyes. But now, as he looked at the girl’s sullen expression, her drooped shoulders… he pursed his lips, a muscle in his cheek popping as he tensed his jaw. Why did he think this was a good idea? He should’ve known better. They would always be different from the rest. They didn’t deserve the typical joys of children. They would always be… abnormal. When he hunted down the fools who suggested this idea, he’d—
He cleared his throat. He didn’t want to leave her disappointed for long. It was better to just make the most of what they got. “Well, even broken things can still be used. We’ll just have to rely on our imagination instead.”
He had become a master at that, over time. Whenever he had been lost in his own mind, and that was all he could do to pass the time by.
The girl’s slouch straightened at his words. “Oh! Like an amusement park?”
Caleb smiled at her, his doubts suddenly forgotten. “Anything you want.”
She clapped her hands. “I wish we could go to the amusement park. I’ve heard the others mention it, but I have never been to one myself, I don’t think.”
A wooden horse laid on its side close to them, the paint chipping off. At the back of it was a frayed semi-circle, almost like someone, or rather something, had chomped on its tail. There was an empty hole underneath its belly, which was probably where the spring used to go, before it had been attacked. The girl skipped over to it, holding it up. “This is probably the closest I’ll ever get to a real horse, or any animal. Hm… this could be the merry-go-round!”
Caleb stood to the side, watching the girl examine the horse from top to bottom. She tried to place it down, but since it had nothing to stay put, it kept falling over. The girl frowned again. “This is a horrible merry-go-round. How to make it…”
The girl turned to Caleb, and suddenly her eyes lit up once more. “Oh, of course! Caleb, you can float things in the air, right? Float me up on the horse!”
Caleb’s eyes widened briefly before he scowled at her. “We came here for you to play, not me.”
“But Caleb, come on! Wasn’t it your idea to bring me here and use my imagination? Surely you also want to play with me deep down?”
Caleb opened his mouth, but paused. Was that… really the case? No, it couldn’t have been. To have such a childish desire as going on imaginary adventures to escape his reality would make him weak. That was only something fitting for her, something that would only benefit her. Caleb wasn’t weak. He may have been in the beginning, when he had been lonely, but he wasn’t anymore. And he only came up with this idea in the first place because he was just mimicking what other children normally did, for her sake. There wasn’t any room for him to be childish, because that was always her job, not his. He had been raised and expected to be cold as a weapon. It was an image he must continue to live up to for his end goal. He had to carry the responsibility and be the stronger person for her to lean on, because he was all she had, and he couldn’t let her one-up him.
He just… wanted to give the girl a sense of normalcy, a sense of childhood, since he knew that’s what had been plaguing her nightmares. He knew because he had experienced the nightmares himself, but she did not need to deal with that alongside him. She just needed to live quietly, so as not to draw attention to herself, instead of taking on hardships that would only hurt her in the end, when he could better handle it on his own in her stead.
And if he gave her enough happy memories to replace the bad, overwrote the emptiness with joy, would her nightmares finally cease, and would she finally remember him for good?
Caleb closed his mouth, shaking his head. “I’m not too sure about this.”
While it was true he had now learned to master his Evol at will, he still had some… complications. He was bred to be violent, so his Evol, while controlled, was mainly used for destruction. It was why his toys always broke. He wasn’t used to performing his Evol for… good deeds, or being gentle. What if something happened?
The girl tapped his hand, smiling at him. “But you’re so skilled, so I’m sure it’ll be fine! Let’s enjoy ourselves!”
Caleb swallowed. But nonetheless, he sighed. “Alright… but if anything happens, it's because you forced my hand. I’m not accountable.”
He patted her head, then lifted his hands to focus it on the horse. Imagining that the horse was in his hands, he flexed his fingers and curved his palms upwards. The horse shakily rose from the ground.
When the girl didn’t move, Caleb spoke through his teeth, “What are you waiting for? Hurry up and get on.”
The girl swung her legs over the horse. Once she was seated over it, Caleb felt a sudden pressure on top of the weight of the horse. Her weight. It was heavy, probably one of the heaviest things he had to carry, since he was so used to managing one object at a time, or flinging them around instead of keeping them stagnant for a long period. He never had to go so slow before, but her weight was finally in his hands, and he wanted to cherish it, to be careful, as if he held her life instead. He took a deep breath, blowing through his teeth, his brow furrowing in deep concentration, as he began to rock the horse forward, then back, as if balancing an egg on a spoon so it wouldn’t fall.
The girl raised her hands to the sky, letting out a loud yelp. “Faster, faster! Spin me around!”
The new movement nearly made him stumble, and he lost focus. “Wait, hold on… I can’t…”
As if her words triggered his Evol, the girl began to spin around, but it was spinning too fast. Caleb tried to slow it back down, but with his concentration broken and his anxiety rising, it was impossible for him to regain his grip.
“C-Caleb…” the girl’s voice shook as she wrapped her arms around the horse’s neck.
“Stop!” Caleb yelled. He retracted his hands and let go of the pressure completely. The horse crashed to the ground, but so did the girl along with it, still clinging onto it. But when they hit the grass, the girl’s arms fell and she slipped off the horse, rolling away from it, a tangled mass of legs and hands.
Caleb stared at her with wide eyes. The air pulsed around him, and he could feel a tug on his energy, a familiar sensation he had felt a few times before, whenever he got too close to her with his Evol, as if warning him to stay away.
The only fool here was him. How could he think he could ever be gentle with her if he only ever put her in danger? If they were destined to destroy each other?
“Ow…” the girl mumbled, rubbing her back.
“Does it hurt when you fall? Are you scared?”
Caleb stood still, before slowly stepping forward. As if breaking the spell, he then broke out into a run. He slid next to her on his knees, reaching out, checking her arms and legs for injuries, rubbing his hands up and down her sides. “Does it hurt? Are you scared? I’m sorry, I should’ve had a better grip…”
He trailed off, looking into her eyes upon her silence. Perhaps he was being too cheeky, too selfish, even after everything… but he couldn’t get the past out of his head, and a part of him wondered if he could get her to remember by recreating their special moments together. He shouldn’t want her to remember those dreadful days, and that wasn’t the purpose of their garden escapade, but… he didn’t want to be the only one who remembered those times. And he could feel it. She was slowly gaining some memory back, or at least, was having a better time retaining memory, as she often remembered more crucial details like his name, and only forgot minor things like meals. It was similar to how, despite his desire to forget, Caleb still remembered some details he could not undo. If there was any chance at all…
She clutched onto his arm, squeezing it tightly, her nails digging into his arm, drawing a bit of blood. A punishment? Perhaps he brought it up too soon.
“You can be mad at me all you want. But let’s go back inside at least, before the adults come out, trying to figure out what that noise was…”
But then she smiled at him. “If you’re truly sorry, then make me a promise.”
Caleb frowned at her. “What?”
“Caleb… thank you for today. You don’t need to feel bad. I think I can sleep at ease now. As long as you promise to take me again?”
Caleb’s frown deepened. He leaned over her, his face close to hers. She looked back at him nervously, until…
“I’ll do you one better. Pip-squeak, I promise to take you to a real paradise some day. It’ll be a place with only sweet dreams.”
Her eyes widened. She lifted up her hand, extending her pinky. “Our first promise… it can’t be broken.”
“Never,” Caleb said, curling his pinky around hers, as sophora petals fluttered around them from the nearby tree that shielded the roof of the shelter.
She was wrong though. It wasn’t their first promise, but an extension of many promises he had already given her before, back when they were lonely and it was the only thing they had to hope for, to live for. Still, he treated this promise as a rekindling of their previous promises, the first promise they made since their first step outside. The new mark of their union, the start of their new lives.
Once more, he was grateful for the chance to start over with her. He wasn’t sure if fate truly existed, much less for someone like him, but he wanted to believe that it was fate that led him to be able to meet her a second time, to be able to grow up by her side, to be able to get to know her for real for the first time. Whether she remembered him or not, he wasn’t going to let the chance slip away from his fingers when it was so close in his grasp, even if he was running on limited time. Limited time just meant he had to make sure to make the most of it, to take care of her until he couldn’t, before the inevitable happened.
He was going to rewrite everything for her, so all she had when she remembered was him and the good.
Since then, the garden behind the shelter had become their sanctuary. Perhaps they were more drawn to the outdoors than the indoors due to their previous lack of exposure, never having been outside before. It was a natural desire born from their subconscious. They have had many adventures here after that night, many dreams. Each one precious to him.
It had started because of her nightmares, but quickly grew into something more. Whenever the crowd got too overwhelming, or whenever they thought about being able to finally get over the high barbed wire fence, they always escaped to the garden, finding solace in the large pagoda tree that soared high above the roof of the shelter, the only thing that still sparked of life among the dying land, the spot closest to the heavens.
Their version of paradise.
The garden was always empty. Most of the children did not dare go outside in fear of another random attack that could happen at any moment, so they often had the garden to themselves, especially at night when they snuck out past curfew.
Although, the sky was still cast in eternal darkness. Ever since what they all now referred to the Catastrophe started, that’s all the sky had ever been. The moon hung overhead as the roars of monsters and airplane engines sounded the sky. These sounds had replaced whatever small creatures would have normally roamed around the day. No animal had been seen any more than the sun had been seen.
The girl looked up at the moon. “I still don’t remember much.”
She clearly remembered the basics, such as speaking, talking, writing, reading. All core, long-term memories. And she was starting to get better at remembering short-term memory, according to Caleb and the staff. But she still struggled with more… abstract memories. Such as who she was, where she had been, what she had done.
The girl closed her eyes. The last thing she could recall was running. But where? With who? From what? All she could see was red. If she thought deeper, she could even make out something that resembled black wings surrounding her. Had she been kidnapped by a Wanderer? Or was she the Wanderer? But at some point, they had to stop. The other Wanderers were closing in, attacking in large numbers that easily engulfed the much smaller public, never ceasing.
Then there was a bright, shining light. It submerged everything around them. A man, she thought. The light had actually been a man. A man with silvering hair that shined almost blond. She didn’t know his face—he was wearing a mask, that much she remembered. And he had barely spared her any glance. He had been wearing a tassel earring that rattled as he swept in as fast as a flicker of light.
Mist surrounded them as the red clashed with the light. Then, she was alone again. Crawling underneath debris, covering her ears from all the screams, wishing she wasn’t so powerless, wishing she could save herself instead of waiting to be saved. She didn’t want to be in danger ever again.
She swore she could hear a voice ringing in her head, telling her to get up and fight.
Somehow, she had wound up at the shelter. Maybe she was found. Maybe the man of light had escorted her there.
While that was the last thing she could remember, she had started to see… other sporadic events. She could faintly recall having met Caleb before, although she didn’t know where, only that she had seen his presence before, and recently she had been hearing the lyrical voice of another boy, promising to meet again, though the order and details of all these vague memories were still hazy. But she associated that memory with the sound of the ocean, which didn’t make sense to her, because she had never been to the ocean, or so she believed, and had no idea what the ocean actually was like to be able to hear it in her memory.
These glimpses that she could never make out, always flickering in and out before she could grasp onto them, relive them, had been the source of her nightmares ever since she arrived here.
The girl opened her eyes again and sighed. “I wish my memory was as good as yours.”
Caleb only smiled, shaking his head at her. “It’s not as good as you think. I remember as much as you do.”
The research center was so distant in his memory now, he could only recall so much that he had been there at all, and that he had always known the girl. Any other details long faded into the abyss. And while his memory could be considered better than hers to some degree, his inability to remember faces and voices made it hard for him to remember much of recent events.
“Liar. You always recall details that I can’t remember.”
“That’s because they are details about you,” Caleb shrugged. To him, that was all that was ever worth remembering. He told himself he would need to learn everything about her this time, so that way he didn’t need to use his imagination to guess.
“That’s what I mean. What kind of person does that make me, not being able to remember details about you?” The girl clutched her knees to her chest. She whispered, “Sometimes, I feel like I don’t belong here. Maybe I don’t. I see these flashes, but they’re not from here. I swear, it’s almost like… like I came from the stars.”
She gestured grandly to the sky. The endless stretch always reminded Caleb of just how small he was in the world, how helpless. One day, he’d conquer that sky.
“Well, you’re here now,” Caleb said, clinging onto her hand, stopping her gesture, as if that tiny movement meant she would leave at any moment. “And if the stars ever try to take you back, I’ll drag you back down. No matter where you go, the paths we take, where the universe leads us, in the end, I’ll always come back to you. Because even though you feel like you don’t belong anywhere, you’re the only place where I belong, and without you, there is no place for me.”
The girl opened her mouth to respond, to tell him exactly how cheesy she thought all of that was, when they were interrupted by a loud whistle that shuttered to a slow fade. They both turned their heads to see an airplane descend, curving in an arch, falling down into the horizon. A loud crash resounded, shaking the tree, and a pillar of smoke rose from where the plane had fallen, far off into the distance. A victorious roar echoed, and another plane came flying towards it.
It was a cycle they never understood. Why bother fighting, when they always lost? They had made another promise to one day find the answer to that question.
Promises. It was a secret they continued to share. Promises meant they had to hope for the future in order to fulfill them. Promises ensured they would stay together.
“Do you believe there are different worlds out there?” the girl suddenly asked, staring at the horizon.
“When I become a pilot, we can explore them all, every last one of them,” Caleb nodded. It was a dream he had long decided on, a desire that could never leave him, as if begging him to escape, to never stop looking for something greater, to make amends to his past self. Once he took to the skies, he can protect her from above.
“Even the moon?” she tilted her head, looking at Caleb, staring into his violet eyes, as if they held all the secrets in the universe. And maybe they did. She often told him that the amber glow in his eyes reminded her of the sunset, or gave the illusion of galaxies. The eyes reminded her of home. If there was one thing Caleb had come to like about himself, it was that.
The moon. Caleb did not see anything special about the moon. He had been compared to it all his life. Quiet. Still. Dark.
Even the girl often compared him to the moon. But her reasoning was different. She had called him her light in the darkness. A beacon of hope.
But if he was her moon, then she was his sun, shining even brighter than the moon. If he got too close to her heat, he’d only get burned. But nonetheless, he continued to seek out her warmth when it was cold.
Even though he still had yet to see the actual sun, as far as he was concerned, the sun was already always beside him, beaming down on him, never failing to greet him each new day.
He wanted to get closer to that sun. He didn’t care if he got burned. He’d move mountains just to be able to exist in the same space as her, so that the sun and moon could always be together, instead of always missing each other, destined to never meet. If he could bring the moon to her, then he would do it.
“Especially the moon,” he squeezed her hand. Just then, his gaze caught onto something. To get on the tree, he had dropped his bag. Before this, he had been looking for a fruit. He still remembered the first gift she had ever given him, a seed that had grown into a red bud. He had no idea what could have happened to that sapling now, if it even survived. That past was long buried. But he had wanted to find a replica, to jog her memory, maybe. He wasn’t able to find the exact fruit, but he had found a red sphere that was similar. An apple, it was called. The name he remembered from when he had read up on Isaac Newton to understand gravity better. He lifted the apple from its bag, twisting his hand to bring it over to them. The apple fell gently into his hand, and he gripped onto it. Against the dull landscape, it was the only speck of color in the garden. Taking a small nibble from it, he then passed the apple over to the girl, bringing it to her lips. She looked at him, leaning close to where their foreheads practically touched. She slowly took a bite into the apple herself. She placed her hand over his where it met the apple, snaking their fingers together, binding them. As he pulled back, he brushed his lips over where their knuckles met. To her, it would seem like an accident, too feather light of a kiss to notice any deeper meaning. Another promise, another ode to the past. “I’ll give you everything you want. Fulfill all your dreams. I’ll never make you sad again. You only need to look to the sky, because I’ll always be there with you, by your side. That’s a promise.”
If we can escape to another planet, maybe we can finally escape our fates.
They had been living in peace since they arrived at the shelter. But sometimes it still felt claustrophobic, with the fence looming over them, like they traded one prison for another. They were forbidden from going outside the fence, despite having more freedom than whatever they had at the lab, and the world was very much a dangerous place.
Caleb wanted something more. He wouldn’t rest until they were actually free, until all the threats surrounding them were eliminated, until they were both alone in this world.
A cough startled him out of his thoughts. He whipped his head to the side as the girl clutched onto her chest, gasping for air. The apple fell back to the ground, smashing to bits, forgotten. Palpitations, it was called. Moments where her heart stuttered.
“Where have those two gone? They’re always disappearing… ever since the girl arrived, that boy clings onto her like glue, never leaving her side. What happened to him not wanting to be near any of the other children?”
“Perhaps they knew each other before? Maybe we should leave them be…”
“That amount of codependency isn’t healthy to enable.”
The bickering voices were faint below them. They still hadn’t discovered their hiding spot. Technically, the pagoda tree had been deemed off limits. The adults were worried the children would chew on the poisonous seeds. Perhaps Caleb was just intrigued by the forbidden, always trying to get what he could not.
Caleb gently placed a hand on her back, rubbing it. “We should go back.”
“I’m fine,” she swatted his hand away.
Caleb narrowed his eyes. “You’re not fine. You need to take your medicine.”
“They don’t even know what’s wrong with me yet,” she grumbled. “And I thought you hated them all. Shouldn’t you be on my side here?”
“Don’t be like that, Pip-squeak. I’m on the side that ensures you get better. Even if that goes against your own wishes.”
“Meanie,” she clicked her tongue, but began sliding down the tree anyway.
Caleb frowned. The girl yelled as she lost her footing and was pulled away from the tree, floating down to the ground. She glared up at him. “You’ve been using your Evol too much lately. I could’ve gotten down myself.”
That’s because he was practicing when she wasn’t looking. Caleb rolled his eyes, falling down next to her. “I know. But sometimes you’re just too pitiful to watch. I rather help you than watch you do anything on your own. I have powers. I am better at them now, unlike before. You should use me more often.”
Spotting them now that they were out in the open, the adults came rushing towards them. As the girl was urged inside, Caleb followed behind, making sure she was escorted safely. But before he crossed the threshold, he paused. Prickles erupted over his neck, stabbing him. He slammed a hand over it, rubbing it away. His brow furrowed as he turned his head to glance over his shoulder.
Far out in the distance, from outside the fence, he spotted what looked to be a black car. The windows were tinted, so he could not see who was inside. He squinted his eyes, trying to get a closer look. After staring at it for a while, the car began to move, driving down the empty road, passing the shelter. It felt like he had imagined the whole thing.
But something real and unavoidable was happening inside of him. His stomach rumbled, and the prickles extended from his neck to all over his body until he was shaking. He wiped his palms on his pants as sweat began to form, confusing him. His heart pounded ruthlessly against its flesh cage, aching to escape the consuming fear, constricting and squeezing.
Then suddenly everything came back to him, like cold water splashing on his face. He recognized this fear. And he recognized that car. He remembered why he was here, and what he had done. A deal he could not get out of, an offer he had not been able to refuse.
It was a promise he had made back when he thought that he may never see her again, so he had no reason to fight, no reason to continue mocking compassion. He couldn’t have fought. It was the only way to get power, to not get abandoned again, to get the information he needed, to survive. He was either with them, or against them, and he would be at a disadvantage like everybody else if he was against.
He thought that if he never saw her again, at least they would never get to her. If he could distract them enough by giving them what they wanted, they wouldn’t even bother to go looking for her. But now… they were back. And what did that mean for her?
He really had been a fool. He allowed himself to fall into the delusion that maybe, they were finally safe, that they wouldn’t be found, that they could be together like this forever. He had gotten lax, into believing that fate was in his favor for once. His insolent mistake could never be forgiven.
He knew what he had to do. Even if that made him a devil in her eyes.
***
Caleb stared at the bed, the only sound filling the room a steady beep.
“We’ll always be under the same sky.”
“I’ll always be by your side.”
“We’ll never be apart again.”
“You’ll have nothing but sweet dreams.”
All those promises they had made, that rang in his head over and over again nonstop, making sure he never forgot no matter how hard he tried, now felt empty as he stared at her body. Snow was falling outside, the first time he had ever seen snow, even though it was summer and should not be snowing, not until winter, but he could not focus on that right now.
It had happened once again. Goddammit.
He was stupid, so stupid. He thought by pushing her away, he could hide her. If he continued to cling onto her, it would only reveal his weakness again, and they would know it was her. He told himself, if needed, he can always find her again later, and she’d be safe. That was the least painful option. That was the most important thing.
But pushing her away only made her out of his sight, and being out of sight had winded her up in just another kind of danger. It seemed that no matter what he did, the world was mocking him.
Now what? What was he supposed to do?
And she had been so angry at him, an emotion he had never seen on her before, on someone who was either always upbeat or always melancholic, that it almost felt like she was pushing him away instead. It was such a raw moment that he at least hoped he was the only one who could ever make her feel that way. And that he knew how to take it back.
He hated being the moon while she was the sun. Never destined to meet, forever chasing after each other, impossible. To hell with that. Why couldn’t he be her sky instead? That’s why he wanted to claim it. Always there, supporting the sun, embracing it with its clouds.
What’s the point of staying by her side if she never even remembers you? She’s destined to always forget you, leaving you to fade away to dust.
The truth was… Caleb was afraid. He told himself he had been fine with her forgetting, that it was for her sake. That it was easier to forget all the horrible things they went through. He hadn’t wanted to remember all the times he failed to protect her and had to watch her die before his very eyes, either. Yet here he was, failing once more, as if it seemed to be all he ever knew how to do. For once, he wished he could do something different, actually change his situation.
If she forgot… then she’d never know how he failed her. It would have made it harder to successfully push her away if she had known everything from the start. It was a risk he could not take. He knew that.
But at the same time, he didn’t want to be forgotten. She was the only person who could’ve really known him. If she forgot him, and he forgot her, who was he? He didn’t want to keep chasing after images of a girl who could never look back at him the same way, never fully able to rest in his grasp. He didn’t want her to leave him behind like she always did. She was all he had in this vast and lonely world.
That’s why, despite himself, he continued to cling onto her even though he knew he shouldn’t. The only person who gave him any sense of identity. That’s why he constantly repeated previous conversations to her, in hopes of getting her to remember. That’s why he always lingered by her side, doing all kinds of things to make sure her attention was always on him, so she was always thinking of him with everything she touched, so she could always remember his presence, always remember that he was there. That’s why he couldn’t let her be more important than him, so she couldn’t say she didn’t need him anymore.
But when she woke up, she would forget him again. That’s how it always worked. He only hoped he wouldn’t disappear, that their promises would still hold meaning.
Please. Don’t leave me again.
“…the boy refuses to leave her side. We haven’t been able to separate them.”
“…Boy? Why is this the first time I’m hearing about a boy?”
“Dr. Zhang, you only asked about the girl. Is something the matter? Wait, hold on—”
The door burst open. Caleb frowned, huddling over the girl, as if shielding her.
A woman had entered the room. Her eyes widened upon seeing the duo. “My god… it really is… this is…”
A man came after her, out of breath. “I told you to wait.”
“Dr. Fang, we’re in trouble.”
“My patient is in trouble. And the boy gets very—”
The man, Dr. Fang, cut off his words. Caleb had taken out his pocket knife and was now pointing it at Dr. Zhang. “You.”
Dr. Zhang slowly raised her hands up. “0… I mean, Caleb… I swear, I didn’t know you were here. EVER took you after your arm healed and placed you in a shelter themselves without telling us. This is just a coincidence. I’m only here to check on… Unicorn. I was notified of a disturbance at this shelter from trusted acquaintances and knew it must have been her. For you two to find each other again on your own… it must be fate.”
That cursed word again.
Caleb’s hand wavered. He still had trouble recognizing people. It was easier to recognize things whenever the girl was around him though, and thanks to the memories he had with the girl, and the woman frequently appearing in them, he knew enough to know that this woman had been one of the scientists. Except now she just looked like an old woman, pleading to him. She wasn’t wearing a white coat, but instead an ordinary sweater with a flower pattern on it and pale green cotton slacks. She had been wearing sandals, but her feet looked bluish due to the sudden cold, as if she had been in a rush.
Caleb had no idea what to make of it now. This all felt… wrong. What right did that woman have to look so normal? When their lives were anything but thanks to her. He could still feel the fear and hatred simmering in his body, never having left, the energy that fueled his desires and helping him remember his purpose.
He retightened his grip and pointed the knife more forward. He would’ve used his Evol, but the doctor needed to treat the girl.
“Fine, don’t trust me. I can respect that. But at least listen to me,” she nodded to the girl. “Now that there has been a strange phenomenon at this shelter, EVER will be more alert. I don’t know how much longer they’ll stay uninvolved. Eventually the secret will slip out to them. And once it does, they’ll do whatever they can to possess her. Don’t you understand? EVER can’t find out.”
“So? What do you expect me to do then? You know as well as I do that there’s no stopping them once they want something.”
Dr. Fang let out a long breath, looking between the two as they glared at each other. “Should… should I even be here for this conversation? Wait, no, I should be saying that to you. The girl’s condition is still unstable. I need to keep an eye on her vitals—”
“Dr. Fang, go back to the Li family. I need to speak with Caleb.”
Dr. Fang blinked at her, then straightened. “I’ll give you only ten minutes. While you’re at it, persuade the boy to leave. I can’t work on the girl with him hovering over her all the time.”
The door shut behind him. Silence reigned.
Dr. Zhang opened her mouth, then closed it. Caleb tilted his head. “All that talk and now you’ve got nothing to say?”
“It’s… been months. And there’s not enough words to say all that I want to say.”
“Get to the point.”
“First, put the knife down. I know you don’t even know how to use it.”
Caleb scoffed. “I’ve been learning.”
Still, he lowered the knife. Talk.
“Have you seen EVER since being placed here?” Dr. Zhang lowered her voice.
Caleb bit his lip. He could feel his hands start to shake, but he shoved them into his pockets instead. “Why should I tell you that?”
“Because if they’re here, the girl can’t stay,” Dr. Zhang began slowly. “That’s why I’ve been trying to track her down at every possible shelter I could find for weeks after you left. I plan on taking her with me, to go into hiding.”
“…What?” Caleb stepped backwards, hitting the bed. Take her away? Again?
But he had only just finally gotten her back, and all to himself. Sure, things were messy now, but he could take care of it. He had a plan. He just needed to follow the plan, and—
“Caleb, listen to me,” Dr. Zhang grabbed onto his shoulders, shaking him roughly. “Are you going to hand her over when EVER arrives? Is that what you’re after? Because once they get hold of her, they’ll do far worse to her than what Gaia ever had. The girl is… special. Beyond what you can imagine. They’ll cast you aside as soon as they discover how crucial she is to their plan. But I think we all know by now that whatever they’re scheming, it’ll only serve their own self-interest and bring disaster to everyone else in their way. It’s too risky for her to remain here with your ties to EVER.”
“But… I’ll…” his mouth got dry, stinging the back of his throat, and he was suddenly incapable of any words. Caleb’s temple throbbed, and he clutched onto it, grabbing his head. He just… didn’t know anymore. Why did his life have to be so complicated? Why could things never go his way? Why did he have to feel so attached? So many questions and so little answers. He hated feeling like everything was so out of control. He hated not knowing anything. He hated that their lives had to be so different, destined for different things. It just felt like the bridge between them was getting longer, longer, breaking apart…
“There is a solution,” Dr. Zhang interrupted, a voice murky in the fog, almost imperceptible. But the voice had brought with it a stream of light that broke through the cloudiness, and the bridge suddenly got so much closer than before, like a tree extending an olive branch out to him, so he may reach it to pull himself out of the quicksand. “I will need to stall them. If I can’t separate you two… then maybe I have to stop trying. So instead… I’ll adopt the both of you, put you under my name. We’ll move to an inconsequential suburb deep in the city. They won’t be able to find us so easily if we leave quickly and lay low. You’ll be able to live normal lives and I’ll be able to scent them off your trails. Don’t you want that?”
Caleb dropped his hands from his head. While the offer sounded appealing, in the sense that he would be with her, it felt almost too good to be true. And he was under no delusions that he could now lead a normal life with what he had been through, and what was in store for him in the future. Was there really such a thing as an escape? The only escape he had was his own mind.
“I can just protect her myself,” he said, glaring at her, rubbing his chest. “We don’t have to go with you.”
“Don’t be naïve. You may think you’re mature, and we may have raised you to not be childish, but in the end, you’re still just a child. You can’t protect her, not like that. EVER would snatch her easily with you in their grasp. This is the only way. Whether you agree or not, it doesn’t matter. I’m taking her regardless. So make your decision. We don’t have all day.”
Caleb gritted his teeth and looked down. He had chosen his side for power, only to still be so powerless. What was even the right move anymore if it felt like every choice he made only cemented him further into hell?
“Why… are you doing this? Why should I believe you?”
Dr. Zhang sighed, finally pulling away from him. “Think of it as my payment to you. I know I have done awful things. I know you won’t be able to forgive me. But let’s face it, I’m the only one who knows how to take care of the both of you. Anyone else wouldn’t know what to do with raising you. You can hate me all you want. But let me do this to make amends to you in my own way.”
Caleb looked back up at her. He swallowed. “It won’t be for long, will it? Eventually… we’ll need to be separated again.”
“No,” Dr. Zhang averted his gaze. “I can’t promise that you’ll never be separated again. But I can at least promise you won’t be separated for now. I’ll buy you some time together. I’ll protect you with my own life if I must.”
Caleb had known it was too good to be true, had known this day would come sooner rather than later. EVER was already aware of who he was. Hiding her may be easy, but it would only be a matter of time before they tracked him down. Perhaps that was why he never felt as close to her as he wanted to be, as if there was always a gap between them he could not fill. But if this was the only way he can still be with her, even for just a little while longer… then he’d take it, he would always take the option that gave him more time with her, that would enable him to continue making promises and taking care of her until he had to leave again.
“I won’t forgive you,” Caleb reminded her.
Dr. Zhang rubbed a hand over her face, shoulders slumping. “I know.”
“So don’t confuse my acceptance as forgiveness,” Caleb continued. He took a deep breath. “Just this once… I’ll place my trust in you. So don’t make me regret it. I… I can’t…”
I can’t handle another betrayal. Another failure.
Dr. Zhang clutched onto his hands as he started to tremble again. “That, I can promise you. You won’t regret it. And I’m sure she’ll be happy to hear that.”
And if this woman did end up dying to protect them… then that was just the natural order of things.
***
Caleb and the woman, who had insisted she be called Josephine from now on, waited outside the shelter. The girl had finally woken up, and was coming back from the hospital. They were supposed to pick her up, while Josephine finalized the last of the documents that would make everything official.
Caleb swallowed. He had never felt as close to the girl before. For the third time, he was meeting her anew.
As if answering his thoughts, a car had pulled up to the shelter, but a different one from before. When the car door opened, the girl came trudging out of it. She looked around the area warily, as if she did not recognize where she was. One of the shelter volunteers who had picked the girl up from the hospital nudged her along,
She had only been at the hospital for a couple days. She had recovered quickly, as always, which wasn’t a surprise to him. After all, his arm had also healed just as quickly, because of who they were. But Josephine had made a note that the way she recovered was different from usual. She told Caleb that the girl’s abilities may be unpredictable now, that the core inside her heart was weaker than it should be and that it would cause problems throughout her life until she recovered. If she recovered. Protocore Syndrome, they called it. It was a mix of the experiments she had gone through, and whatever she had experienced during the days they were separated.
All of it was still far beyond his understanding. But he hoped that would change later.
The girl spotted them. In an instant, she rushed over, but for once, it wasn’t towards him. He watched as the girl clung onto Josephine’s hand, beaming at her. “Grandma!”
Caleb wobbled, almost keeling over, but he forced himself to stand upright. Why had she gone to her first, and with such a bright smile? Why did she call out so familiarly, as if she had several times already? This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. Caleb clenched his hands into fists.
Josephine’s eyes widened, as if she also was not expecting this development. She glanced at Caleb, but when he made no move, she bent down to the girl’s eye level, squeezing her hand. “I’m grateful for the warm welcome. But won’t you greet him as well?”
The girl finally glanced at Caleb. She blinked, but otherwise hid herself behind Josephine, burying her head into her pants.
Caleb’s heart lurched, throbbing painfully in his chest. He told himself it was only natural. After all, the last time they spoke, he had been cruel, and a villain in her eyes. Of course she would not view him as a friend.
But still, to value someone like Josephine over him, after everything they’ve done… wasn’t Josephine worse than him?
Josephine’s face twisted. Her shoulders shook as a chuckle escaped her lips, but she covered it up with a cough. Clearing her throat, she placed a hand over the girl’s head and stroked her hair. “Don’t be afraid… It’s all right. From now, we’ll be living together as a family.”
“Does this mean we’ll never have to feel alone again?” Caleb whispered, his voice betraying himself, unable to hold back the vulnerability despite his anger.
Family… such a strong word. Could they truly be a family? He’s heard that term a few times before. A family that sticks together, that doesn’t leave anyone behind. Family was what that man had called himself. When he looked at the girl, he saw her as something more than that. He felt too strongly for that word. He couldn’t quite explain it into any words. Every fiber of his being seemed to be screaming at him, demanding he claim her, become one with her.
He shook his head. Where were these thoughts coming from? They felt too dangerous. Too intense.
He passed it off as their shared origin, their connection to each other. They carried the same energy that joined their souls and fates together. It was simply calling out to each other, begging to not be separated again. He couldn’t possibly want more than that. “More” would never happen.
So he’d have to settle with “family” instead, take what he can get, so that he could continue to be by her side for just a while longer, so he could remain close to her, even if it wasn’t as close as he wanted to be, even if the gap was always between them, forever uncrossable. It was the only way he could get even a fraction of what he wanted. He would have to be satisfied with that, be grateful that he at least had that.
He swallowed again. He hoped he could last long enough.
“Yes, starting today, I’ll be your… grandma,” Josephine grinned at him, and it broke all of his thoughts as he was once again consumed by that rage.
Just because the girl had called her “Grandma,” for whatever strange reason, did not mean that he ever would.
“Grandma…” the girl whispered, tugging on her pants leg. She turned her gaze back to Caleb, peeking from the legs. She took a cautious step back out, as if suddenly entranced. “You… Who are you again…?”
Warmth spread throughout his chest, and he let out a sigh of relief. At least she had not forgotten him completely, it would seem.
“It’s okay if you’ve forgotten. I’ll remind you again,” Caleb said, reaching out for her hand. She flinched, but he squeezed it, not wanting her to run away again. He smiled at her, the biggest smile he could muster, so huge it hurt his cheeks, as he repeated the same line he often told her before. “I’m Caleb. I’ll always be by your side.”
The girl stared, slack-jawed at him, completely dazed, as if his smile and words were enough to soothe her. “And I promise I won’t hurt you.”
Ever again.
#####
Hello, everyone! Another really long chapter! These chapters have been longer than I anticipated lol. But there’s just so much I want to tell. It should be calming back down after the next one. This chapter has a lot of lore references, as you can see! We are finally picking up on the main point of this fic.
The next chapter will possibly take me a while to write since this is the biggy one where I need to catch up on the lore! If you, you know.
Also since the order of things is still vague in canon, I made my order of how things go according to how it will fit in my fic. I placed MC’s meeting with Rafayel, if you can tell, during her experiments at the lab (in my head, the researchers had taken MC to Hat Island for a unique experiment then brought her back—this is also before Caleb’s creation), because I couldn’t figure out how else to fit it with her childhood and the whole Sylus versus Xavier fiasco. This might be debunked later, but for now, we’re rolling with this.
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Four: The Shelter
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
WARNING: this fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn. This chapter in particular also contains very vague mentions of animal cruelty.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
***
Hello! Sorry for the longer wait this time, I was busy with the holidays and then caught myself not feeling well (and a mini slump).
Unfortunately… there is probably going to be longer delays for the next couple of chapters. This is because I have finally reached a point in my fic where I need to start catching up on the game lore in order to make sure my fic doesn’t stray too far from canon (outside my own creative liberties). I’ve caught up to a lot of it, but I still need to read some important parts to make sure everything goes smoothly to avoid as many plot holes as I can (mainly finish D&R and the new WUs + Caleb’s past cards). Hopefully I get through this fast enough.
To make up for it though, I accidentally made this another long chapter filled with lore. I hope you can see how I’m tying everything together now! And I hope the plot isn’t too confusing yet.
######
Running, running, have to keep running.
Caleb’s knees pumped up and down. Harsh breaths pulled from his lips, then slapped against his face as a chilly fog.
Lightning continued to flash overhead, colorful cracks of blue and purple and green ripping through the infinite black blanket of clouds, serving as the only source of light he had seen for miles. Winged beasts of various and unfamiliar forms flew overhead, circling him like prey, waiting to strike.
A burn spread throughout his chest. His head slouched forward, dragging his body along with it. His arms swung round as his legs fell behind and failed to keep up with the rest of his momentum. For a second, he carried the absurd thought that his head may disconnect entirely. Or maybe it already had. He certainly felt like he was floating, his surroundings blurring past him. But he couldn’t stop now.
He had no idea where he was going. How could he? He had never ventured beyond the lab. White walls were all he had ever known. He had read a little bit about the outside world from books and gazed upon pictures of black and white, but none of that matched the reality he faced now.
Endless plains stretched out all around him, no other buildings in sight. Smoke rose up from spots that had been scorched by stray flames. Everything was dark, too dark. And strangely quiet. Was it supposed to be this dark and quiet? If so, the outside world was not as grand as he imagined it to be.
His feet slammed onto the ground, spraying water, the only sound that pounded in his ears. Thump, thump, thump.
The silence had reigned since he opened his eyes. After being plagued by noise all his pitiful life, the absence… unsettled him. Just moments ago, the research center had been consumed by clamors of anger that popped his ears, but now they were no more, vanished into nothing, just as quickly as they had appeared, just like she had. Like she had.
Rocks dug into his skin. Sweat dripped off his brow, falling into his eyes, the rain doing little to wash it away. Still, he pressed on.
He had woken up alone. There was no other body to be found. Which meant there was no one to restrain him.
He didn’t even think twice.
His mind had narrowed onto one goal. A goal he must accomplish. By any means necessary.
Come on, come on. Just a little more. A little more, and maybe I can still reach—
“And just where, pray, do you think you are going…?”
Before his foot could land again, Caleb’s limbs suddenly snapped into place by his sides, locked and unable to move, making him lose balance. Next thing he knew, his body hit the wet dirt chest-first, knocking the wind out of his lungs.
He attempted to lift his head, but it was too heavy. He strained his eyes to the end of his peripheral vision, glancing over to his shoulder. A dart stuck out of his neck. A paralyzer?
He struggled a bit more to look even further past his shoulder. He caught a glimpse of a man, although he was limited to the view of his pants, and could not see any clear features through the pouring rain.
His body began to shake, tingles racing up and down his arms and legs. A side effect? Or something else?
No, he had felt this before. But only one man had really ever made him feel this way. He knew that, but still could not recall who this man had been.
What did they call him again…?
The man took a step forward, then another, heels crunching gravel, until his shoes stopped right beside his fallen body. “If this silly attempt is because of 001, I’m afraid she is long gone. There is no way she could’ve survived the blast.”
He doesn’t know.
He must never know.
A screech echoed in the distance. Caleb’s eyes swept over to the noise, then turned back as the man crouched down, lowering his face to Caleb’s, and Caleb was finally able to make out who he was as his features solidified with the new proximity. “I can’t afford to lose time here, standing around. I have no desire to get hunted by a Wanderer or shot by a stray bullet. But imagine my surprise when, along my journey, I see a familiar boy running far from the research center. Now, I can’t just simply allow precious cargo to escape. You see, you’re my greatest masterpiece, and it would be too much of a waste to have you slip out of my grasp.”
A twitch echoed across the boy’s fingers, until he was able to fully curl them towards his palms. He jerked a shoulder, trying to at least separate an arm from his side…
The man suddenly reached out, grabbing the arm he had been trying to set free, and stood up, yanking it apart. The man proceeded to drop the arm, watching it thud back to the ground with a dull splash, then stomped.
A sickening crunch filled the air.
“How wonderful it would be,” the Professor continued, pressing his foot down harder, “if I replaced your parts, one by one, with pure machine. You’d retain your human consciousness, of course, but nothing about your body would be human. You’d be unstoppable, able to do as you please, with no limits, and no more flaws. That is how I shall achieve immortality and save the human race. And you, my greatest masterpiece, will be at the head of it all. Thanks to the progress we’ve made with you, and with the existence of Wanderers, we’ll be able to expand our subjects. Imagine what we could do with all those Protocores… you won’t have to worry about being weak and tossed aside ever again, because you will be on our side. The right side. Any remaining doubts you once had will vanish for good.”
“Get off me!” Caleb screamed, pulling at his arm. Pain, so much pain. Sharp prickles exploded up from his wrist to his shoulder, consuming his entire limb. He wanted to just get rid of the whole thing. If he got rid of it, he wouldn’t have to feel this pain anymore, would he?
“Surely you still don’t harbor delusions about 001. Even if she were somehow still alive, you two were never made for the same path. You’re from different worlds. But I assure you, our world is the better one. Come with us quietly, and we’ll show you what it means to be a winner, what true strength—what true power—is.” The man tilted his head, gently rubbing his foot over the arm that was now bent at an inverted angle, “Has anyone ever told you the values of family? Children need to obey their parents. Family sticks together, and doesn’t leave anyone behind. 001 left you behind. I am your real family now, and as long as you do not run from me, you will be taken care of very well.”
Caleb squeezed his eyes shut. As much as he wanted to yell that it wasn’t true, he wasn’t in any position to do so. There was some truth to that. She did leave him, and he had no idea where she could have gone, or even if she was alive. What if he never saw her again? There would be no point in anything, then.
He just… wanted to be free. He hated how limited he was—in power, in body. He often found himself wishing he was more like the winged beasts that loomed in the sky, the predator instead of the prey, with no need to think or feel of anything else except for finding the next kill.
But most of all, he hated how she was always ahead of him, and he was always behind, unable to protect her or keep her close.
He didn’t want to be abandoned again.
Didn’t want to be helpless again.
If fighting back only ever caused him more pain, held him back, made him weak, made him disposable… perhaps he needed a different strategy. If he could grasp onto the power the man offered him, used it to protect himself and her, so they were never hurt again, maybe… maybe that really was his best option.
Caleb sucked in a breath. It wasn’t like he had much of a choice. He never had a choice. So maybe it was better to start going along with everything, to let go, if it meant finding a better opportunity later on.
So Caleb stopped squirming. He retreated back into the emptiness of his mind, into that dark nurtured space where only rage and resentment laid. He focused on it, allowing himself to be swallowed by it, to keep him grounded. Then he let it go, casting it off into the wind, until there was nothing, and he was floating, flying.
Avoiding the man’s gaze, he urged the words from his lips, “I’m sorry. I promise I won’t run away again, F-Father…”
He could feel the man’s stare lingering on his broken and frail frame. Caleb fought off the horrible inclination to twitch, laying as still as possible. He could not reveal any nerves here. One nerve, and it could cost him his life. Both of their lives. This was not only for his sake, but also for her sake, always for her.
Finally, Caleb felt the weight on his arm lift away. Despite the freedom, his arm did not budge. It couldn’t budge. The limb might as well not exist. The pain wouldn’t stop eating away at his arm, severing off all senses. He hadn’t even noticed any of the drops that had coated his arm in the meanwhile.
“Smart boy,” the man hummed with praise. Then clucked his tongue, as if to indicate mock sympathy. “Too bad about the arm, though. We’ll have to mend it when we get back.”
Grabbing his uninjured arm, the man pulled Caleb back up to his feet. Caleb coughed, stumbling into his stomach. He pushed Caleb away, giving him a single pat on his shoulder, but his lip was curled back as he released a noise of disgust. He dragged the boy to a black vehicle that had been parked nearby, shoving him into the back where the door had already been open, lying in wait for him.
Caleb spared one last glance outside. Along the distant horizon, he swore he could see a black-red mist, fading away, fluttering along the wind like wings. It oddly reminded him of the winged beasts. His stomach leaped, longing to join them. But he squashed the wish deep down, and before the Professor could catch on, he averted his gaze.
The car door slammed shut behind him, blocking him off from the sky once more, concealing behind tinted glass the zig zag streaks of light that made the vast night glow. And with that final click, so were also shut down the last of his hopes.
The man had not come alone. Caleb found himself in the middle of two other men, one sitting on each side of him. But these men didn’t wear the thin, white lab coats like all the other researchers had. Instead, they were dressed in thick, long, dark coats that ended at the ankles, with colored stripes on their chests, medals shining against the dim light that came from top of the car. Their eyes were veiled by black hats embroidered with silver winged crests. In their arms were long silver barrels that carried a purple charge around them. It reminded him of the weapon he saw the silhouette with red eyes hold.
“Do you have everything ready?” the man demanded.
One of the hats nodded. “We are prepared to attack any Wanderers or criminals who come our way as you command, Professor.”
“Good. See to it that you put those Protocore weapons into proper use. We’ll make our way back to the research center. Check for other… survivors and survey the situation.” The Professor looked into the rearview mirror, his eyes meeting Caleb’s. He smiled at him. “Are you fascinated? These two are from my private elite force. They are my closest personnel. Someday, you’ll join them.”
From their exchange, Caleb could tell they seemed to know more than the research center ever had. If he joined them, he would never be left in the dark again. Perhaps, he had finally found his own wings, even if it was a different breed. He smiled back. “It would be an honor, Father.”
He was going to make him regret giving him that knowledge.
***
“Here you are, idling around, not being able to keep an eye on a single boy. How did you possibly manage to lose him for days? He didn’t even get far, with the current state of things,” the Professor scoffed. At his side, he was pulling on Caleb’s uninjured arm. Caleb kept his gaze turned away, finding more interest in the rubble around them. The center had all but crumbled to practically nothing, only the glass chamber still standing empty and broken in the middle of the rubble, the only remaining evidence that the girl had existed at all, a reminder of what had happened that day. Caleb gritted his teeth.
It had long stopped raining. Some of the researchers were strewn about the debris, shaded by what little remained of the ceiling, cleaning up the mess, although that seemed to only be a futile endeavor. There was just too much debris, and only a few machines remained. Documents had been scattered all over the broken floor, in various stages of damage. One of the researchers, who seemed to be commanding them, turned at the Professor’s voice. Seeing Caleb, her hands flew straight to her mouth as the legs underneath her shook, struggling to keep herself upright. “002…!”
“Congratulations, it appears your experiments proved somewhat useful after all. They’re responsible for the boy surviving the blast and lasting on his own in the wild, aren’t they?” The Professor gazed at Caleb, his cold eyes gleaming. “This will make headway for our future plans.”
“Great,” another man said, throwing his hands in the air. The man that Caleb recognized to be the girl’s murderer. He would never forget that face again. “Now that that’s all settled, since you’re here, you may as well help us rebuild. We require a lot of repairs, as you can see, and it’s been a hassle trying to take care of everything ourselves, since we seem to be down a few people now…”
The Professor blinked. When the man continued to stare, waiting for a response, the Professor widened his eyes. “Oh, you are mistaken. Dr. Yu, was it? Now that 001 is dead, your services are no longer needed. EVER has already decided to cut all ties with your center. The surrounding area has become too corrupted. There is no point in saving something that is broken beyond repair. Associating with you would only bring us legal trouble, a liability we can’t afford. Our new facilities will take over your job and provide us with much better results.”
“…What?” Dr. Yu said. Then charged forward, grabbing for the Professor’s collar. He pulled him close. “We did everything for you. Now you’re replacing us? What happened to our deal, that if we did what you asked, we would be guaranteed a spot in the next world? What about our protection? That’s the only reason why we went along with all these other illegal experiments, and now you’re even disregarding Gaia as a whole? I knew you couldn’t be trusted…!”
As Dr. Yu raised his voice, the soldiers that had been by the Professor’s side stepped forward, aiming their weapons at the man. Dr. Yu hurriedly backed off, placing his arms in front of him, warding them off. The Professor watched on with disinterest, fixing his collar. “Now, if you are quite finished, I will be taking the boy with me as well. Since you clearly cannot handle him, he would be best off in my care.”
“Wait,” the woman stepped forward. “Is it truly wise to bring him with you? The polar night seems to have made 002 unstable. The Catastrophe started when he used his Evol to fight you. After successfully creating a black hole, he can create more, powerful ones if he truly wished to harm you. That would only inconvenience you even more. We should be the ones to take responsibility and pay for our mistakes.”
The Professor narrowed his eyes. “Do you expect me to fall for that drivel?”
The woman swallowed, clearing her throat. “I’m just saying it wouldn’t be wise to have him close by when the Catastrophe is still ripe. Right now, he’d only be a liability to you, just like us. Perhaps you should put him somewhere else, just for a little while, before taking him back. You could even place him in one of your own facilities if you don’t trust us.”
The Professor hummed, stroking his chin. “I suppose it would be problematic if something unexpected were to happen… and I especially can’t let anything hinder my plans of expanding my family. He’s not the only child I’ll be bringing into the fold. Yes. It would be best to… let him cool off before reintroducing him to the others, for my own sake. And he can get a head start on adjusting to society at a proper shelter. With EVER funding some of the shelters, adopting one child can be good for the public image. Very well. He shall be placed in a shelter for the time being. We’ll make the arrangements. In the meantime, he’s in your care.”
The Professor clutched onto Caleb’s shoulder, bending down to whisper in his ear. “Don’t think this means you got away scot-free. Trust is earned. This is the time to prove yourself to me. Be my eyes. Root out any weaknesses. Gaia is up to something, and you’re going to be the one who reveals it all to me.”
So that was why he had agreed to the strange request. He had caught a whiff of something. Amateurs. Caleb wouldn’t let himself slip as easily. Not again, not after it had risked him everything. This time, he was going to fully grasp onto the survival offered to him and not let go. Caleb cocked his head. “What’s in it for me? You’re the only one who would benefit from that deal. If I do this, then you must promise me something in return. As long as you can guarantee I’ll remain your best, that no one will take my spot, I’ll do as you say, in exchange for your power and intel.”
“That depends on how you behave, and if someone else more worthy comes along. If you don’t wish to be replaced, then I suggest you do everything you can to retain my attention,” the Professor raised an eyebrow at him, squeezing his injured shoulder tightly. Caleb winced. “Don’t forget, I will come back to collect you one day in the future. Until then, I am always watching you, so don’t do anything out of line, because I’ll know. If you know what’s best for you, you’ll do as I say, with or without promise.”
“I look forward to the day,” Caleb said simply, but his tone was lifeless.
With that, the Professor turned on his heel and left, followed by his soldiers not too far behind. Before he got back into his car, he looked over his shoulder. “Oh, yes. Fix that boy’s arm while you’re at it, too.”
The door slammed and the tires screeched off. All the researchers seemed to let out a collective breath.
The woman rushed forward, her hand trembling, patting down his whole body. Caleb flinched when her hand rested on his injured arm. She cupped his face, but her touch wasn’t as cold as he thought it would be. Maybe he had just grown accustomed to it. “Don’t just stand there! Someone, help him!”
The researchers scrambled. They had been carrying emergency medical supplies, perhaps in the event that they recovered any other missing persons. But the lack of medical staff implied that they did not expect to be too successful, or haven’t been successful, given that it had already been days. Or maybe that was due to the recent lack of funds. The woman grabbed some bandages and began wrapping it around his injured arm.
“We’ll need to take you to an infirmary to get it properly treated. But this should hold for now,” the woman said. “I have no idea what you were thinking, getting yourself into danger like that. I’ve been worried sick. Now you’ve caught yourself in something that you can’t ever go back from…”
She sighed, shaking her head. When Caleb didn’t respond, she looked up at him. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
“What for? It’s not like you ever did anything for me to be grateful towards you.” He wasn’t going to show gratitude to the person who got him into this mess in the first place. She stared at him, then suddenly he felt a pain pinch his arm as she applied too much pressure. He winced at the touch.
The woman clucked her tongue. “Don’t be like that. She could still be out there somewhere. It’s possible that she had escaped in time—”
“Even if she had, I don’t know where she is, or if I’ll ever see her again,” Caleb interrupted, not wanting to hear any more. “She might as well be dead. That’s the price for being weak.”
“Is that why you’re doing this? Going along with the Professor?”
Caleb turned his head away from her searching gaze. “My constant failures to follow the status quo were all because I let her hold too much emotion over me. She is only a distraction. Isn’t that what you’ve taught me? If I wish to survive and achieve my goal, then I need to start by getting rid of my weaknesses. Once I do that, then I can protect myself with the power I always longed to have. If she does ever show up again… I can’t let myself get too close. Or history will repeat itself.”
The woman closed her eyes. “Then you must do your best to retain his attention and be the perfect golden boy, as the Professor told you.”
Caleb fixed his gaze back on her. “I plan on it.”
“It’s not going to be easy…” she finished wrapping up the bandages. “Are you sure about this?”
“Do you see any other option? I have nowhere else to go, no one else to lean on,” Caleb shook his arm, testing the hold of the makeshift cast. “Does it even matter, then, what I do now? If she's gone, then there’s no point in acting a certain way for her. I’ll do whatever it takes to survive, to achieve my purpose. Even if it leads to my self-destruction. Because, at the very least, one of us will still be able to live on.”
He stood up. As he did so, his gaze instinctively shifted to the direction of a place he had become so familiar with at the lab. He could see the shattered remains of glass, what had once been his source of comfort. He swallowed back a strange vibration in his throat, his eyes stinging.
While it was barely recognizable now, based on the little ruins that remained, he could tell someone had been on the other side of that wall after all.
Caleb took his first step forward, and as he did so, a tiny sprout had begun to grow. A round burst of bright red poked out from the pocket of green, glowing like a gem, the only color among the endless dark debris and sky. Silvergem.
The first gift he had ever received. It was almost enough to make hope bloom in his chest once more.
***
Caleb sat in an infirmary. The white walls and thin padded bed reminded him too much of his previous cell, and he decided then that he hated hospitals just as much.
While the doctors had treated his arm, he had undergone other tests. A stream of never-ending terms flitted in and out of his ears. A fever. Broken arm. Dissociative amnesia. Prosopagnosia. Personality disorder. Nerve damage and inflammation. Tinnitus. He understood none of it.
The infirmary had apparently been some sort of subsidiary with Gaia, where all the researchers were currently hiding. He heard the researchers mention a “Catastrophe” now and then, as for that being the reason why they hid, although Caleb didn’t bother to remember the specifics to that either.
As the days passed, his time at the lab growing further away, his arm healed but his memories got foggier. He had the crippling fear that he was starting to forget what the girl looked like, what she sounded like, how they met. She began to feel unreal, a figment of his imagination, a mysterious figure in his past that he could not quite place.
It was honestly laughable. She had always been the balm to his soul. The one thing that helped him make better sense of the world he was often confused by, the only one that could sharpen his senses and clear out the rest of the annoying clutter. But at the same time, while it was true she kept him grounded and prevented him from flying too far away, she also drove him mad. Whenever she wasn’t near, whenever she forgot him. She was like a disease that had clouded his mind, but a disease he fully embraced. Whether he liked it or not, their lives were intertwined, and he could not imagine a life without her.
So now that he was actually facing a life without her… a darkness was creeping in, consuming him. His mind could not survive being apart from the one person who knew how to calm him down. It sought her out. He frantically clung onto anything he could remember, not wanting her, or everything they had been through together, to disappear. He had been lonely before, but now it was eating him alive, chewing slowly at his flesh. He never wanted to experience separation again.
If he had to, then he would be the one to leave her behind first. He would choose to forget her on his own. Because at least then, it would be his own choice, and not something out of his control. He would do it to protect himself, and only if it would also protect her.
Did that make him a hypocrite? He didn’t care. He only hoped he could manage to pull it off successfully when the time came.
The woman who had brought him here always spoke to the same three doctors. Close acquaintances of hers, it would seem. One of them was an older man, around her age or older, he would assume. The other two were a man and a woman, who looked considerably younger, their hair not yet gray. The man and woman seemed close, always near each other, their fingers touching at their proximity. Caleb had the thought that maybe if things had gone right, that would’ve been what he and the girl would have been like.
Flashes still played through his head, faint memories seemingly from another world, where it was easier to imagine. But he knew how it all ended, and it was that knowledge that had caused his fear, that had led him to the choices he had made, in the chance to alter that fate, to give him time.
He would not let them get to her… not before he did. He would always be first, first, first.
The three doctors had left. They never stuck around for long and were always traveling between hospitals, from what the older woman had told him. The other researchers were never far from his side, though, always lingering around.
At some point one of them had turned the TV on.
“Evols, once a rarity, have been sprouting up more recently as of late, most likely due to the event now known as the Chronorift Catastrophe, shifting the balance inside humans with its spatial oddities. Evols have become more valued now than ever before, as there is evidence that suggests Evols can help in fighting back the monsters…”
“The figure we have dubbed as Lumiere, presumably male, has been making progress with the monsters. Numerous others have joined the effort in quelling the Catastrophe, but there is no clear sign of it yet ending… do your best to stay indoors and seek shelter.”
“EVER, a rising leader of Deepspace and Lemurian research, has especially been aiding the disaster. Professor Lucius Lu, one of their main researchers and the director of their newly founded Toring Cybernetics Institute, is now hosting a press conference on the behalf of the corporation."
The screen switched to the Professor standing on a podium. Thousands of lights beamed down on him, pronouncing the contours of his face, as he spoke.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the public,” he began. “EVER has decided to dub these monsters as Wanderers, creatures that wander through space and time. Our research has discovered that their hearts, known as Protocores, are highly valuable, but close contact with these aliens can sometimes cause… issues. Exposure can cause one’s heart to become part of a Protocore itself. We will call this phenomenon Protocore Syndrome. But do not fret. EVER will actively search for a cure, and encourage any victims to come through our doors, where we will be sure to help you through this disease.”
“In addition, EVER has begun creating weapons that combine Evol technology and Protocore energy. We have discovered that these weapons can effectively kill Wanderers, and will be important in protecting the public.”
“Furthermore, EVER would like to make an announcement. We have decided to transform the land that has separated from the Earth amid the gravity changes caused by the Catastrophe into our own project. Project Skyhaven. This floating island will become an inhabitable town, the new home of our Space Force: the Aerospace Academy, the Deepspace Aviation Administration, and our Space Fleets. As you know, the government has publicly revealed their long hidden military branches to investigate Deepspace and eliminate Wanderers for a brighter future and is actively training recruits. Only the elite can join our cause and guide the world to salvation.”
“We will be waiting… for you.”
With that last parting remark, the Professor looked straight at the camera, straight at Caleb. Caleb shuddered.
The TV narrowed in on that image and blinked black. The older woman held the remote in her hands and placed it back on the stand. “That’s enough of that.”
“Perhaps not everything Dr. Yu said was complete nonsense after all,” a man mused. “EVER seems to have already planned all of this out. How long have they known? How did they know what the monsters were? Did we truly hide anything from them, or were they the ones hiding everything from us?”
“It doesn’t matter now. What’s done is done,” the woman said. “We need to figure out what we’ll do now, now that Gaia is gone.”
“Well, I’ve already decided what I’m doing,” the man said. “I will continue my research into Evol modification, but I’m planning on extending that research into Wanderer modification. There’s so much we don’t know yet, but maybe I can find a way to control them…”
The woman scoffed. “And how are you going to achieve that? It’s too dangerous. You know EVER would be after the same thing. They probably even figured that part out already themselves. They won’t let you have the same information.”
“I’ve found a backer,” the man whispered. “He has promised to give me the means to do my research, and already guaranteed me protection from EVER. I am not sure if he’s trustworthy, but…”
The door to the room burst open, and another man waltzed through. The man that Caleb made sure to always remember from now on, lest he decided to finally take his revenge someday. The list that seemed to only ever be growing these days.
The man gestured grandly to them. “Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t trust anyone nowadays. Now that EVER has casted us aside, the whole of UNICORN has disbanded, too afraid of retaliation. The other research teams have gone off somewhere else. I’ve heard rumors that Raymond from the Lemurian sector has gone off to head a new research institute called Xander Sciences, with the help of EVER, after stealing some of the research we had used from that island experiment. We’ve officially been replaced. The only option we have left now is to choose other sides for our survival and hope it’s enough to shield us from EVER.”
“So what are you doing then, Dr. Yu?” the woman rolled her eyes.
“Isn’t it obvious, Dr. Zhang? I’m gonna rebuild Gaia myself,” Dr. Yu pounded his chest.
“You?” the other man scoffed. “Why even bother? It’s all been reduced to rubble. And the streets have become riddled with crime ever since the Catastrophe started. EVER has seen to it that the world sees Gaia as a lost cause. No one would take it on.”
“I refuse to go anywhere else. Someone should stay behind. It is our life’s work. It’s where I belong. I won’t let it rot,” Dr. Yu hissed. Then smiled. “You’re not the only one with a new backer. I made a deal with someone. Someone you wouldn’t want to mess with. Someone better than even your backer, I’m sure. He’ll help me achieve my dream at last.”
“You’re an idiot,” the man shook his head.
“And what would you know?” Dr. Yu scowled.
The man gave a smile of his own. “More than you do, I would imagine.”
The man stared at Dr. Yu for a long time. Eventually, Dr. Yu paled.
Dr. Zhang frowned, glancing between the two. “Do you perhaps both have the same—”
A tall mysterious silhouette clothed in black, with silver hair and crimson eyes, his pants soaked in blood, his gun covered in glass, surrounded by mist, curling at his back like ominous wings, much like the Wanderers, came to mind. The woman shook her head. “Nevermind. None of my business. That would be absurd.”
Dr. Yu huffed. “I’m heading back now. Do whatever you want.”
The door closed behind him once more.
“Such a handful,” the man shook his head. “What are you going to do, Josephine?”
Dr. Zhang bit her lip. “I… I’ll be taking the research on 001 with me.”
The man’s eyes widened. “Josephine…”
“I know the risk,” she snapped. “That’s why I’m doing it. Everyone else thinks 001 must have died. I believe otherwise. I’ll continue to find her. EVER does not yet know about the Aether Core or the lost fragments. They can’t ever know. She’s the missing link that EVER must never get their hands on, or else they’ll be able to achieve whatever it is they are scheming, and I know they don’t actually have anyone’s best interest at heart now. So I’ll hide it, I’ll hide all the research we’ve done on her. EVER currently has no interest about 001 and it must remain that way. But if they somehow find out the truth, if they somehow go after us… maybe, they’ll just go after me. A captain must go down with their ship, after all.”
“I know better than anyone that there’s no changing your mind once it’s been made up,” the man sighed. “I can only wish you the best of luck.”
Dr. Zhang softly smiled. “Same to you, Philip.”
***
After some time, Caleb’s arm fully healed.
Several bodies surrounded him, and the room was filled with a cacophony of noise.
The woman clapped her hands, commanding attention from everyone else. “As we all know, the Gaia Research Center has been destroyed and the surrounding area has become a danger zone considered not even worth helping by the government. As a result, EVER has pulled all funding and abandoned us. 001 is missing, presumed dead. The only thing we can do now is send 002 to a shelter, as instructed by EVER, who will continue to keep tabs on him and observe—”
“We need a name for him. He can’t just be sent to the shelter as 002 or with no name. That would raise suspicions.”
The woman opened her mouth to speak, but before she could—
“Caleb,” he interjected. He had been silent this whole time, but now he spoke. “My name is Caleb. Yizhou.”
He could still remember the day she had given him that name, as clear as ever. The only memory that still burned bright in his memory.
She had called him warm. But he had thought that description couldn’t be further from the truth. He had wanted to tell her, You’re the one who’s warm.
But now he would never be able to tell her that, would he?
They were supposed to always be together… always. But she was already gone, so what was the point of them being together if it could never happen? The more time had passed without her, the more it felt like his soul was leaving him, being drained out of him little by little. This loneliness was more intense, more deep seated than the loneliness he had felt while at the lab, because at least then, he knew she was there, even if he couldn’t always see or hear.
The least they could do was let him keep the name she had given him. The only thing he had left to remember her by, before he forgot her entirely.
The researchers glanced at each other, eyebrows raised.
“All right… Caleb. But you still need a surname.”
Caleb tilted his head. He didn’t know what that was.
“A second name. That proves your origin,” a researcher offered. “What goes well with—“
“Xia,” the woman whispered. “Yizhou for summer. Xia for daytime. Summer days. Associated with Eve from the Bible. Just like his creation.”
“So we’ll send him to the shelter as Xia Yizhou. English name Caleb Xia.”
They gave him an identity. But it still felt like he was the same shell being pulled by their strings. An illusion of autonomy.
***
At some point, Caleb had found himself in a shelter. He could not recall the details of how he had gotten there, any more than could he recall any other moments of his past, which were quickly fleeing as the days got further and further away. The only memory that still remained somewhat clear was a girl, although her features too had started to disappear, and it was getting harder to hold onto the image of a blur.
He had convinced himself that he would never see her again. Maybe she was dead. Or maybe she was alive, but it was better for her to stay away, anyway, else she got caught up in another mess. He couldn’t, wouldn’t, tolerate her being in any more danger because of him. If she was gone, he should forget her for good, so that he didn’t have to worry so much about her ever again.
Until one day…
“A girl arrived the other day. We had tried asking for her name, but she refused to give us any, and she won’t allow us to give her a name. She said she was waiting for someone else. But she has no other memory. It is clear that the girl must be alone. She must be at least seven or eight years old, that much we know.”
“Isn’t it… strange? First, that one… Now, another child…”
Caleb paused. He had been looking at the sky, watching the planes fly by, wondering when it would be his turn. Nowadays, that was the only thing that kept him going by. As he did so, he was mindlessly fiddling with toy cars. The toy cars had been floating in the air around him, but now they stilled, frozen in midair. If he could have it his way, he wouldn’t be wasting his time with such foolishness, but they didn’t have any airplanes here, or anything else worth of stimulating interest, so he made do.
He breathed in deeply, his heart pounding against his chest, echoing in his ears. His fingers twitched. The cars instantly crashed back to the ground, splattering into different pieces that flew every which way. He stared at the broken bits for a long time.
Caleb had the habit of breaking every toy he touched. Maybe part of the real reason why the shelter didn’t have much, was because of that.
The nearby conversation had cut off as the adults flinched at the mess. They always seemed to cower around him. None had ever dared to get close to him. That part was nothing new.
All adults were the same, no matter where he went.
“You’re too loud,” Caleb said. “I don’t want to hear any mention of this girl.”
He pivoted on his heel to head back inside.
“Caleb, wait!” one of them shouted after him. “Would you like to see the girl? You haven’t met her yet, so it’s too soon to be making judgments…”
Caleb stopped in his tracks. He tilted his head, as if considering, then swung his gaze over his shoulder. “I have no interest in playing with lesser children.”
He never once paid any mind to the other children. Why should he? He couldn’t recognize or remember any of their faces. They had no upstanding qualities. He didn’t feel as connected to them, for none of them were her. And she was the only person he cared about. Had cared about. Or so he thought.
As his figure disappeared, the adults shivered. “Something is wrong with that boy. His eyes are so… empty.”
“Ever since he was brought here, he glares at all the adults and brushes off the other children with a cold shoulder. He doesn’t know how to be anything other than detached and callous. He probably doesn’t even know what emotions even are. I feel bad for whoever finally does catch his interest.”
Caleb opened the doors to the run-down shelter. It was a far cry from the pristine research center, or whatever left of it that still existed in his memory. He had no idea why he had been placed here and not anywhere else, but part of him hoped that no one would find him again. Surely, with all the wealth they’ve carried, they would eventually forget about something so out of the way and poor. Just like how he would forget them. His perfect little hiding spot.
As he sighed, something zoomed towards him. He had only just processed the breeze that swished his hair back when something heavy collided into him.
It was just like…
“There you are!” a familiar high-pitched squeak tickled his ears. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!”
The air rushed out of his lungs. Time had rolled to a stop once more. The world had suddenly become so bright.
Could this girl really be…?
“I’ve heard so much about you! I’ve already met everybody else, but no one would let me see you! They insisted you weren’t fit to greet anyone. I still got curious though, so I’ve been waiting to catch you when you were alone…”
The girl clinging to his neck overlapped with the faint image of the girl from his vague memories. It seemed like it could have been her, but he wasn’t sure, and a deep part of him actually hoped that they were not the same person.
Because if she truly had come back, then did that mean…
“By the way, what’s your name?”
Caleb’s lips parted, a breath of air escaping them.
Of course.
Just like that, something inside of him shattered. Memories came and gone, flashing past quicker than he can grasp onto. It was like turning off a TV, blinking black, into nothingness, sealing away all colorful images. Caleb swallowed.
He envied her. Envied how easy it was for her to forget. He wished he could forget her as easily as she had always forgotten him, again and again.
Because if she was here, if she was alive, then that also meant she hadn’t been able to get away, and being with him would only drag her back into the hell they had tried to escape.
It would mean that Caleb had to push her away again, because this was a world that was cruel and pitted them against each other, forcing them to get rid of each other, but Caleb rather wished she was already dead, already far out of his reach, before he even had the chance.
Coming back not only cemented her own hell, but his, for he was weak, and he didn’t want to see the light fade from her eyes again, but this time because of him.
He closed his eyes, squeezing them, hoping if he opened them again, she would vanish. But also hoping that she wouldn’t.
He imagined himself, far back, in a room filled with darkness. There was only a single light, beaming down on something in front of him.
“002, EVER has instructed us to start sharpening your survival and fighting instincts.”
He hadn’t understood the mission at first. He had thought, the creature was just as lonely as him, so why not reach a hand towards it? Something to pass the time by, when he couldn’t see her at all. The creature had reminded him of her. Fragile. Delicate. Trapped.
“002, you are not supposed to grow attached to other living things. Your only purpose is to—”
No, no… don’t make me do it…!
Caleb had learned the hard way that compassion only got oneself killed. Ever since that day, he knew a part of him had broken, a part of him he could never get back, or perhaps he never had that part in the first place, only wanting to believe he did for her sake. Maybe a part of him had always relished in power and strength. By preying on the weak, he stayed strong. He had lost count of how many objects he had destroyed, how many tiny lives he had taken.
He was forced to compete to survive. It had become so ingrained that at some point, he began to believe in that philosophy himself. That he had to get stronger to survive, that the only way he could get stronger was to let her go. What use did he have for her if she was always going to leave him behind? It would be better if he left her behind first, if he sided with the strong to avoid being abandoned at all, because at least he would still have… some sort of family, support to protect himself. And if he let her go, made them think he was the better option, they’d see no reason to take her in as well, securing his own spot.
Perhaps that was why he was how he was. He had to become a monster to protect himself. It was how he would end his powerlessness once and for all.
His plan had been to shield her. Get rid of his weakness. Two birds, one stone. But now that she was back in his arms…
He was not sure.
Could he really push her away?
Weak, so weak. You never learn.
His hands were made to crush. But yes, he would learn to be gentle for her, because now he had a greater purpose, something to protect, and he was going to try his damn best not to screw it up this time.
He was going to hang tight and never let go. He could manage both tasks. Why not?
Slowly, finally, Caleb shakily brought his hands up above her back, and wrapped them around the girl like a devil’s embrace. Maybe this was wrong. Maybe he was only sealing their fate, and staying together would only end with suffocating them both. But he couldn’t bring himself to care anymore. He didn’t want to be alone again.
And if she had followed him all the way here, maybe deep down, she wanted to suffer with him anyways.
He never really knew her. The times he had seen her were scarce, and he had never fully been able to get as close to her as he wanted, always some level of distance between them no matter how hard he tried to cross that bridge.
This was the first time he was meeting her properly, outside an experiment, with no bars between them any longer.
He would never let there be bars between them again.
He’d always chase after her, no matter how often they were dragged apart, no matter where she went, where she hid… he’d always come back to her. He’d make sure of it.
Would she fly away again, or stay with him, forever?
Caleb’s eyes stung. His voice shook as he spoke, somewhere between a sob and a laugh. “That’s okay… it’s okay. You don’t need to remember anything. The only thing you need to remember is that… my name is Caleb.”
“Caleb?” the girl tilted her head, confusion in her eyes, yet it seemed tears had come unbidden in her own eyes, as if some deep part of her recognized his words.
He nodded his head, clutching onto her. “Yes, that’s right. And if you ever forget again, I’ll just continue to remind you, like always. Until the day comes when you finally don’t forget. From now on, I’ll never leave your side.”
And so what if she forgot again, and never remembered? That was for the best. It always was. None of that was important anymore.
It didn’t matter what their past was. To him, this moment was now the first moment they met, the start of their new free lives together.
Dog Days (A Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Three: The Past
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance. This chapter covers how MC and Caleb met.
WARNING: this fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn. This chapter in particular also contains very vague mentions of animal cruelty.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
***
This chapter is EXTREMELY long. 10k words long. It will be the longest chapter in this entire fic. It was also the hardest chapter for me to write so far.
This is because this chapter is FILLED with lore. I have mixed some lore from the main story and Caleb’s first limited myth to incorporate into this chapter. This is also where the story starts to deviate from canon—I have used my own interpretations of the game to create what I think makes sense to the world in my fic. I still believe a lot of it is plausible to canon and does not stray away too far from the true plot of the game, but since it is still based on my own interpretation, there is still a chance this will end up being its own thing and not the same as canon.
I could have separated this into two chapters, but I chose not to. This is because this chapter is solely a series of flashbacks that dive into the world building as well as provide context on Caleb’s situation and his relationship with MC. I did not want to get rid of anything, and I thought making this into more than one chapter would only ruin the flow of what I have planned for the rest of the story, since this is the only long flashback sequence we will get.
Since this was so hard for me to write because of all the above, I actually am still not that happy with it, even with the basic revisions I had made before publishing. The doubt is mainly with the descriptions, they are definitely not my best work and weaker compared to previous chapters. I will have to come back to this chapter later on for bigger revisions. But as you may have noticed, I have been publishing chapters more frequently than just the once a month I had promised. I did not anticipate having this much motivation or energy to write, but since here we are, I want to try being more consistent with my writing schedule and keeping the streak (so I can finally finish a fic for once). Normally I’d take months to rewrite and revise, which only hinders my progress and publishing, so I think it’s better to get out of my head by limiting my revisions and prioritizing them later.
######
When the young boy opened his eyes for the first time, all he could see was white—white everywhere. He tried blinking it away, but it only caused the white to bleed into red as his vision narrowed and spiraled into a tunnel of stars. When he blinked again, the red spiral of stars transformed into bigger dark globs among the white, until he was able to make out the several tall shadows looming over him. Sound followed. A repetitive and frantic tapping, scratching, rustling that never seemed to end.
The boy opened his mouth, perhaps to speak, but the only noise he released was a wheezing cough. His jaw ached from the movement, his bones creaking, as if it had been left to rust. An odd sensation was lodged into the back of his throat, a prickly kind of static that went all the way down the gorge like an infestation of bugs and webs. His throat burned.
Why was it so difficult to speak? It was something that he assumed he must have done often, such a normal part of life. Wait… His brow furrowed. Done often. What was it that he did often? What had he been doing before this? Was there anything he did? Who even was he?
A billion questions raced through his mind. But the only answer he received was a piercing throb to the back of his skull, like he had been hit in the head by a giant club. He tried lifting himself up, but gravity had pushed him back down, like a wall he could not pass.
“A fantastic discovery. To think we could achieve it a second time, when all the others have been failures…”
“By converting traces of her energy source into an artificial human body, we created the first engineered child. Just like Adam and Eve.”
“It is similar to how a collision of two planets can form a moon with the residue. After creating 001, we have been fishing for parts that remained from the collision to form a human body. Thus came the second creation, which proved to be compatible. Their connection to each other must be studied. Perhaps twins are part of the answer we seek…”
“Don’t get too cocky now. It’s not yet a guaranteed success. We still need to know, does the boy have the same properties as 001 if he has the same energy traces within him?”
“Henceforth, the boy shall be known as Subject 002…”
Voices surrounded the boy, a clash of varying tones and pitches that created a chaotic symphony. The voices cracked into a ring that shot his ears. He covered the appendages and turned his head away, as if he could escape all the commotion by doing so. But instead, his gaze came across something different, and the world around him slowed to a stop, everything else fading into nothing.
A young girl laid on a table beside him, her hair splayed around her like a halo. Her eyes were closed, yet he found himself with an intense desire to see what her eyes looked like when opened. For some reason, the color was easy to picture. He didn’t know who she was. He was certain he had never seen her before. And yet…why did she feel so familiar?
A sigh wrapped around the room, and the world resumed with the voice of reason. “We should conduct more experiments on 001, to fully understand how she works, before we try figuring out how 002 works. Experiments on 002 can be risky if they result in the… previous cases. We don’t want to be too hasty.”
“But the Professor gave us orders. We are to prioritize 002 from now on, since it suits his immediate needs more…”
“When has the Professor actually ever cared about what we, the small fry, do?” a scoff, denoting the voice of irrationality. “If the Professor prefers 002, then he can have him. But wouldn’t it be better to keep 001 to ourselves, to make it our discovery? 001 is the real key to immortality! That kind of credit will finally break our careers!”
“This isn’t about fame, Dr. Yu. This is to save the world. The future of the human race lies within these children. EVER may not care for any information regarding 001 right now, but ethically speaking, we should not overlook any factor, else we make a grave mistake.”
“So what do you suggest we do then, Dr. Zhang?”
“...Like I said, we’ll continue to monitor 001, discreetly, behind EVER’s back. As long as we keep them preoccupied with reports on 002, their attention will be on him. But I won’t rest easy until the whole mystery is solved.”
“When you put it that way, you sound like you just want to use 002 as a decoy to protect 001 from EVER.”
“…Nonsense. 001 was born from our original goal as Gaia. While EVER may have filled our pockets ever since they approached us with that deal, and has made us larger with more tasks, we cannot forget how we started. Our main research is one thing we cannot let EVER control or take away from us. Understanding Deepspace and immortality is just as necessary for survival as achieving it. I don’t trust the Professor to do the right thing.”
As the voices droned on, the boy continued to watch the girl beside him. In a world filled with noise, she was his only source of quiet. She was…different, in general. Which made her distinguishable. More relatable. More like him. He imagined what her story was, if it was any similar to his own.
He wanted everyone else to shut up, so he could hear her speak instead. A silly request, since he didn’t even know if she was capable of such activity.
As if reading his mind, the girl’s arm twitched. The boy held his breath at the sudden movement, then eyed at the shadows warily, anticipating the voices to notice, but they never did.
Maybe he had seen wrong. But then her leg twitched, and he knew for sure. She had definitely become the most interesting thing in the room.
Suddenly, her chest rose up, and the girl’s eyes swung open, a shuddering gasp leaving her lips, like life had been breathed back into her body and revived her. She turned her head to the side, and their gazes collided. Next thing he knew, the girl was flying straight at him.
“Don’t… don’t let them take me again…”
What the…? The boy kept his arms to his side, his eyes wide as the girl clung onto him. She felt… light, against him. Too light. He had no idea how much someone was supposed to weigh, but it felt wrong for her to feel even lighter than him. But the most alarming fact about her was the sheer frost coming off of her. He couldn’t resist the shudder as tingles exploded and wrapped down his body. Why was she so… cold?
Yet despite the cold, there was something warm inside, thawing his heart, spreading through his chest, as she nuzzled against him. It was like sliding the last piece to a puzzle in place, some sense of belonging that satisfied some deep part of his soul. Although, that didn’t make any sense to him, as he still barely knew the girl, and he could not explain why she just felt… right.
“Please,” she squeaked against him. Her voice was high-pitched, higher than the other voices had been. But there was a strain to it, as if someone was squeezing her airway, preventing any coherent sound from passing through.
Was she also not used to speaking, like he was? Or could it be…she had spoken so much, and now had no more.
The boy finally let go of the breath he had been holding.
The shadows surrounding them quickly began to move.
“001 is awake again!”
“Ah, but she’s attached herself to 002. This won’t do. We need to separate them if we are to proceed…”
“Little Bomb has never been so attached to anything before. Could it be because she senses her energy inside him?”
“Or he’s familiar because he is a child, just like her. But we can’t let 001 stay glued to him forever,” this shadow crouched beside them, reaching out for the girl. “Unicorn, sweetie… you can’t just jump on others like that. Now, let go of him so we can…”
“Ah, this is taking too long. Dr. Zhang, you are too soft. 001, remove yourself at once, or I’ll remove you myself!” another shadow rushed at them, but before it could attack, the little girl screamed, and the shadow was blasted away.
The boy’s hands clenched into fists. There was something inside of him, rising up from his stomach, as if in response to the blast. It felt like the thawing in his chest had transformed into a tiny ball of fire, expanding, coating his insides with flames. His face twisted into a grimace, and his nails dug into his palms. He forced it down, pictured himself trapping the ball of fire into a small box, and throwing it away. He had no idea what “it” even was, but whatever it was, he thought the best option was to not reveal it to the shadows. He didn’t want to end up like the girl. Resisting seemed to only bring more trouble, and he did not like the way the shadows lunged at them, leaving behind gusts that chilled his bones, devoid of the warmth he had felt with the girl.
In the long run, if he wanted to avoid their touches, he should just follow what they say. He knew that. Yet… as he looked at the girl, when the shadows beckoned them over, he still could not move from his spot.
He shifted, bringing his arms up to touch her shoulders, although it felt like he was swimming in some thick liquid, and that his bones were being torn apart with the very action. He meant to push her away, to get rid of the problem, The shadows were recovering and advancing.
She’s going to do it again… right?
But as they got closer and closer, the girl did not budge. She seemed to be in some state again. He looked back up, and suddenly she was ripped from his arms.
Move, now. This was the part where he should get up and follow them. The easy way out.
But as they dragged her body, pulling at her arms, stringing her along, not caring what she hit, something boiled inside the boy, and he could not suppress it any longer. The tiny ball of fire he had sealed away broke from its tiny confines and erupted, setting the pain free. “Let her go!”
The shadows had been reaching for him next. But before they could even graze him, they suddenly all… froze.
The boy blinked. Tilted his head. How peculiar. Why was that so… natural?
He could feel them trying to push against it, breaking through to him. He glared. “Don’t come any closer.”
He could feel himself pushing them back. Screeches rose from the shadows, and he clutched his head as his brain pounded against his skull again. He wanted to get rid of them. So he imagined ripping those shadows apart, separating their particles, one by one. And as he imagined, the screeches got harsher, gasping for air, and he could see the shadows begin to writhe.
Was this… his power? Is that what power felt like? With this, he could overpower anyone who would—
“What… Evol is that?”
“It’s so unusual. So abnormal.”
“It’s crushing us, like gravity… could it be gravity?”
The boy faltered. He felt himself losing his grip on the power. His breaths became uneven as he felt something squeeze his chest.
“Could we have just discovered a new Evol?”
“A newly discovered Evol… it must be examined more thoroughly…!”
No… no… this isn’t how it’s supposed to go…
But before he could regather himself, the corporal shadows began to turn jagged and more concrete, transforming into sharp, pointed branches, aiming right for him. Piercing through him. Clutching at his arms, pecking at him. Thousands of them. He tried to break free, but he was pulled back, pulled under, the branches snuffing him out. His breaths got shorter, quicker.
“S-stop! Stay… away…”
The last thing he saw was her, and he knew, whatever fate she had been running from, what he himself wanted to avoid, would soon also become his, and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
***
When the boy opened his eyes again, he was once more blinded by endless white. Why was everything always so white? He cupped his hand to his forehead, blocking the light, and stepped forward. However, he could not get very far. Something tugged on his arms, stopping him in place. He looked down. Multiple thin tubes were etched into his skin, and the veins in his arms were bulging blue. The thin tubes looped around him and were connected to a machine that was plugged into the wall.
His heartbeat picked up, beating faster and faster against his chest. His legs shook from underneath him, and the room see-sawed back and forth. The longer he stared at the tubes, the fuzzier they got, transforming into millions of pixels.
He reached for the tubes, then yanked on one. But he wasn’t able to pull it out, the tube clinging to his skin. He yanked on it again, harder this time, but quickly pulled his hand back. His hand had exploded into sharp sizzles that ran up his arm, jerking his entire body. An electrical zap. As the spasms in his body slowed to a stop, he looked up.
The room was, of course, white. Almost bare, save for the machine and a padded table. He faced a wall made of glass, although he could not see past it, for it only showed his own reflection. But he could still sense something, or someone, from the other side, watching him.
A red dot blinked in the upper corner of the walls. Underneath it was a small metal box, with tiny holes patterned into the surface.
There was a sudden beep, and the holes crackled and popped. The boy covered his ears, dragging the tubes along with him.
“Welcome, 002. Since you are new to this, we shall start with something simple. Your Evol, the power you possess, is unique, but that is what makes it highly volatile. We just want to help you better understand how it works, and keep it under control to prevent any more unwanted violent outbursts.”
The boy stared at the box. Such a grand display. Something tugged on his lips. “And if I refuse?”
The voice sighed. “Then we’ll have to sedate you again. Which means more work for us. You’re strong. It took great effort alone to get you in here.”
The boy lifted his arm up, jangling the tubes. As if he even had a choice. He didn’t know what they had done to him, but he could tell his senses had become duller. Their words were muffled, filtered, as if he was hearing them from under water. Each word passed through like a fleeting stream, disappearing into a whirlpool, wiped from memory as soon as it was spoken. Moving his arms felt more like he was moving a ton of weights, or rather that a ton of weights were sitting on his arms, pulling him down, creating resistance in his movements. Even if he had wanted to fight back, even if he wanted to scream, he didn’t think he could, in this state. His throat still burned and prickled when he spoke, and he decided then that he didn’t like speaking much. Didn’t like hearing it either. His body was being dragged under a vast abyss of nothingness.
He was so, so tired. He just wanted to sleep.
“002,” the box crackled again. “We need you to redemonstrate your Evol.”
He didn’t want to do that. Why should he do anything they asked for? But when he just stood there, his arms jolted, his whole body wrecked with tremors once more, until the feeling of being dragged under disappeared, and was replaced with the feeling of balancing on a rope, high in the air, singled out by a light exposing him to the darkness. Awareness. Was that what the tubes were for, among other things?
The boy sucked in a deep breath. Exhaling, he looked at the red blinking dot. He did not know how to use his so-called Evol. Last time had been a fluke, an irresistible urge that welled inside him and released against his will. How was he supposed to replicate that for them, under their watchful gazes?
“Perhaps you work better under duress,” the voice said.
The boy frowned. Duress?
“Evol Monitoring Experiment No. 1 will now commence. The test subject is Donor 002. The subject's age is to be determined, but assumed to be approximately 9-10 years old..."
The boy’s heart pounded strangely in his chest. Something… doesn’t feel right…
Clutching his chest, the boy collapsed onto the floor. His breathing became heavy, almost impossible to even achieve. It felt like all the oxygen in the room had vanished, or like his lungs were being constricted and tied into knots. The electric shocks kept hitting his body, and finally his throat was able to release a scream. “Make it… stop…”
The boy stretched out his hand. With no real target to aim at, he could only control the space around him. The jolts in his system went still, and he was able to bring back air flow into his body. He gasped as he regained his composure.
“Interesting. With his gravity Evol, he can control the air around him and his own gravitational pull, essentially protecting him from any threats and bodily harm.”
“There must be some connection to that with 001’s ability.”
“With time, he can practically become immune to anything.”
“Like an upgraded version of 001…”
“We’ll keep monitoring his Evol. We need to see how far his gravity Evol extends. And with time… he can become a force to be reckoned with. A black hole that can withstand any destruction, absorbing it instead. Truly what EVER aims to achieve with their goals.”
The boy breathed his last, as the room spun around him and engulfed him in black. The last thing he heard was the faint screams coming from a distance, from behind that glass wall, and he briefly wondered if those screams perhaps belonged to a certain young girl.
***
The boy lost track of how many experiments he had endured, much less how many days it had been. They had made him lift objects, crush objects, control what invaded his space, protect himself from threats. The experiments quickly amounted to the double digits, encroaching triple. It had all become dull very fast, but the boy learned the hard way that any defiance or laziness resulted in punishment.
In between experiments, a hidden mechanical door in the wall would open and a researcher would escort him, allowing him to… fulfill his needs. Even the food they had given him was some sort of test. They wanted to see what substances he could tolerate, what substances could make him sick. They had begun an experiment about comparing his heart’s strength to the girl’s, the entity they always called 001, who so far he only learned about from brief conversations he overheard when regarding their experiments. He hadn’t seen her since that day, but he liked to imagine that she just laid right beyond the wall that showed his own reflection. Imagined having private conversations with her. It made his room feel less bare.
The boy never remembered much about the experiments. The most memorable test was when he had thrown up blood in response to one of the substances. He had been force fed a batch of greens that made his throat feel like it had gone up in flames, burned by an overwhelmingly bittersweet acid. He had no idea what that was, only that he never wanted to taste it again. The strangers had insisted it was for his health, but it was more like they were killing him. Even now, he could still taste the acid in his mouth.
Now, he was being led to an unfamiliar room. A large clearing, circled by several archways leading down to different corridors. Each archway had a shiny plaque on the wall, although he was not able to read what they said.
A small line of children stood before him, all dressed the same, in blue rags with badges fixed to their chests. Squinting his eyes, he saw that each badge held a number. Some badges also spelled the word “LEMURIAN,” although he had no idea what that word meant.
“The other children you see before you are known as Lemurians. Their species are endangered, but Lemurians have long lifespans,” a voice explained to him. “Since their species are dying out, we don’t have that many subjects. Furthermore, it is not our jurisdiction. They are monitored by another research team, assigned by our sponsors. While we all aim to find the secret to immortality, each research team covers a different method. Our research team is known as Team Unicorn. We observe Deepspace for any anomalies, such as yourself and 001.”
Someone placed a hand on his shoulder. The researcher who often accompanied him during his breaks. “I know we have been locking you up lately, but it is important you spend time with some other children.”
Another researcher who had come with them clicked his tongue. “Be more honest, Dr. Zhang. We are observing his interactions with other children, in particular how he behaves around 001. If our theory is correct, then 002’s outburst was in reaction to the outburst of 001. Since they are from the same energy source, perhaps their energies feed each other. Almost like the concept of Yin and Yang. Perhaps, he could help stabilize 001 after each death. We will have them transfer energies via her resonance ability.”
The boy stiffened. His ears honed in on “001.” She was here? He was going to see her again? He wrinkled his nose. But what did they mean by “each death”? Was that what they were trying to achieve?
The main researcher glared at the man. “I was trying to ease him in.”
She patted the boy’s shoulder again. “From now on, you’ll occasionally be taken to play with other children, as well as begin studies typical for your age to keep up with your peers.”
She then lowered herself to whisper in his ear. “Keep in mind that you and 001 are different from any other entity. You only have each other. But that just makes you more of a target. Our sponsors will do whatever they can to find a way to achieve immortality, so do your best to not cross them. It will not benefit you in the slightest if you were to rebel.”
The boy stared ahead. Her voice continued, “Children do not often survive the experiments. The ones before you now are the ones who have managed to still make it this far. You are special. Always remember that.”
The weight on his shoulder lifted, and footsteps left the room. But he knew by now, they were never alone.
The boy scanned the children before him. A bunch of unfamiliar faces. Their shoulders were hunched, trembling. Their eyes were dark and clouded, without any gleam. He noticed that the children all had uneven stances in their gait, and when they moved, it was with a limp. But none of them moved towards him, which was just as well, because he didn’t want to be anywhere near them either. He did not wish to find out what happened to them, because he had a feeling he would soon know the answer himself, and he was going to do what he could to avoid it.
He turned his head, and his gaze landed on a girl who still had not moved from her spot in the line. He recognized her immediately. How could he not? She was the one who had started this all. The one he couldn’t get his mind off of ever since they first encountered each other. The one he had been beginning to think he’d never get to see again.
Her eyes finally met his, and the frown she had on as she looked about the room disappeared in an instant. Unlike the others, her eyes did have a shine to them, and it was burning bright as she skipped over to him. The boy arched his brows at her. She was coming to him, just like she had in their first meeting, and he hadn’t been expecting that part to be any different. But she was skipping? Where was the girl who wouldn’t let go of him, who begged to not let them take her, who fought when they tried?
The boy couldn’t even process her already standing before him. She peered up at him.
“Hi! Have we met before? There is something about you I can’t quite place…” she pondered, pouting out her lips. “That’s odd.”
Was she… serious? The boy frowned. He had found her interesting before, because she stood out to him. A familiar face among unfamiliars. Even now, she still stood out, but for a different reason. The girl standing before him was just another child. But that was it. Among all the withering bodies, she had somehow still been able to stand upright, and she was also able to smile and pout. Like a child.
She stood out to him, but apparently, none of them stood out to her. Not even him.
The boy’s hands clenched into fists. Something stirred inside of him again. It boiled underneath his skin, simmering, wanting to be released. It boiled until it was too much to bear. “Why are you acting like that?”
The girl blinked. “Huh?”
“We’ve met before. Don’t act like you don’t know. You’re the reason why I’m stuck in this mess.”
The girl furrowed her brows, tilting her head. “We have? I am? But I can’t recall anything.”
What kind of show was this? The girl stared at him, no ounce of recognition to be seen. She appeared genuinely confused. A cold sensation creeped over him, like water had been splashed onto his face, washing away the paint that was his skin. A prickle touched his mind, growing into white noise, as if the word, WARNING, was being blared inside, flashing on and off. But he ignored that word, buried his head in the sand, no matter how loudly advertised. For the boiling still had not stopped. The rage inside him was like a growing monster waiting to rumble and pounce. And there was only one target before him. So, he scoffed. “You don’t remember? Have you not looked around lately? Don’t you see we’re all trapped here, suffering all different kinds of horrors? How can you be so blind? So naïve?”
“I—” the girl bit her lip. She looked around the room, at the other children, and lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I truly don’t know anything. But I wish I did. To be honest, my memories are scarce. Everything else is a total blank slate. I’ve been told that’s why I’m here. That they’re helping me. But… I always had a feeling that isn’t entirely the case. It’s better to not think about it, though. Thinking about it only makes it hurt worse.”
The boy watched her for a long moment. When her eyes turned glassy, he felt a pang in his chest and looked away. It wasn’t fair, that reaction. But… could he really blame her? What good would that even do him, anyway? It wouldn’t change the situation. And she was in the same situation as all of them. He had just… not been able to hold back again, when she didn’t remember him the way he had oh so clearly remembered her. It must have been nice. To go about her days without knowing what was going on. Good for her. Was he nothing to her as well, even though she had been clinging onto him so desperately before?
It seemed that he had trouble restraining himself around her. She made him feel all these uncomfortable emotions.
The boy sighed. He could feel his throat start to hurt again, from all the yelling. Without another word, he turned away from her and marched off.
But the girl was persistent. She followed him, always hovering, never leaving his side. He didn’t get it. Hadn’t he upset her? Wasn’t he harsh with her? But still, there was that tingling in his chest again, a feeling that overwhelmed him, made his movements light. That sense of rightness and belonging, like when he had first held her in his arms.
He pushed that feeling back down. “Hey, you, why do you keep following me around?”
“You’ve talked to me the most so far. Everyone else either leaves me or doesn’t come near me. And I don’t feel as… connected to them. For some reason, I’m drawn to you. I may not remember, but my body clearly remembers you,” the girl leaned towards him, her chest brushing against his back, her breath fanning his ear. The boy suddenly felt heat enveloping his face, and his heart ached in his chest again.
“Aren’t you too close?” he dodged her, pulling his arms back close to him, as if to shield himself from her. But he had slipped up. Their close proximity caused the girl to get a good glimpse of his arms, and her hand shot to her mouth.
“Your arms…” the girl lowered her hand, but the boy just went further away from her.
“I fell,” he said simply. He had no idea why he lied to her. But he just felt like, if she didn’t know anything that was going on, it was best to keep it that way, to spare her details.
The girl gave him a look. Her eyes swirling like dark pools, pulling him in, exposing his secrets. She whispered, “Does it hurt when you fall? Are you scared?”
The boy froze. But before he could respond, she pulled away, leaving behind only a chilling breeze in her wake. “But if you don’t want to talk to me, I guess I’ll try finding someone else.”
The boy blinked, his mind racing to process what had just happened. Before she could go away, his hand snapped out and clasped onto her wrist. He had no idea why he did that, but the thought of her going to someone else made the muscles in his face twitch. None of the other children were like them. The voices had so themselves. Why would she want to entertain other children who clearly did not have much time left in this facility? Who wanted nothing to do with them? They had no worth. He knew he wouldn’t leave her anytime soon like the others have had. He was her best choice.
“If you stick with me, I’ll make sure we both leave this place alive. But you can’t ever back out.”
The girl paused. She was no longer looking at him, but past him. He squeezed her wrist, and her attention turned back to him. “I’m sorry for going off on you earlier. I promise to not give you any more regrets.”
She blinked at him. Then smiled. “It feels like we’re doing something forbidden.”
“But you’re forgetting something,” she said, then, still in his grasp, slid her hand up into his, intertwining their fingers together. The touch was… unlike anything he had experienced before. So soft, and light. It was like her warmth was transferring over to him, and he swore he could actually feel a spark fly at the junction. The boy couldn’t take his eyes off their combined hands. “If we’re in this together, then I’ll also be the one to protect you. The next time you fall, no matter how many times it takes, I will always catch your hand."
The boy let out an exhale. “You’re right… I am scared. You said everyone leaves you, but I get this sense you’re leaving me instead. How do I know your time isn’t running out like the rest of us? You’re this… thing I can’t even fully grasp. You make me crazy, make me wonder if I’m just imagining it all.”
The girl shook her head. “That won’t happen. And even if it does… we’ll always be under the same sky.”
Then suddenly she let go, and something heavy rested in his palm. He opened it, to reveal a small oval with a sliver-white gleam. He had no idea when or where she had gotten it from to place in his hand. He frowned. “What is this?”
“Don’t you know what a gift is?” she laughed, and it was such an airy jingle. The same high-pitched, tiny squeak as before. “Josephine gave it to me! She said if you put this in dirt and water it, it’ll grow into something more. I think it makes a beautiful story. Just like how we’ll make something great together.”
He had no idea what Josephine was, but he understood everything else. “It doesn’t look like much can grow here.”
“I think it’s possible. After all, we’re creating a new life ourselves. You’ll see that it’s not all bad here, so I hope you can have some more warmth in yours. For now, take it as my way of accepting your apology.”
For the first time, the boy felt a smile reach his own lips. “Thank you.”
"All kinds of plants can grow in the desert. There are bluestripe berries, redthorn grass, and the Silverglow fruit you were curious about as a child."
“At long last, I brought you to a place where Silverglow fruit grows.”
Voices filled his ears, like a distant memory. Unconsciously, his free hand had begun to reach after her again, chasing her warmth. But before he could think of anything further, a shrill rang into the air, and the room was engulfed in red light. Their smiles slowly wiped away, and the girl’s eyes widened.
From his hands, the boy felt a familiar pulsing, a familiar burn.
Somewhere, a stampede of feet rushed towards them. But it was already too late.
The room was shaken by the blast. Hands, so different from hers, dragged him away, back into his cell. His cell without her.
Oh, his mouth moved, the last thing he saw of her being her collapsed form. Now he knew… what they did to her, and aimed to do with him, and why memories were so meaningless.
***
His time at the research center continued to pass by more or less the same. A series of experiments, followed by his brief breaks to attend to his basic needs, where he ate more of that disgusting green stuff that tasted like acid, to monitor his hypersensitivities, his tolerances. Rarely, he was taken out for study sessions, where he read texts, and applied those skills to real situations.
Then he would finally see her again—his one constant in a world of blur, the only thing he ever looked forward to doing. Sometimes, her memory was doing better, and she would remember who he was. Other times, most of the time, he had to be patient as he reminded her. He decided he would no longer hold a grudge against her for it. In fact, he started to view it as more of an invigorating challenge to stimulate his senses. To remember her, for her to remember him. He began his own experiment. If he bothered her enough, made sure to leave a significant imprint on her every time they met, would that surpass any kind of memory loss? Or perhaps, it was better for her to not even remember anything. All the horrible things they had done, and what they had to suffer. He could remember enough for them both, so that she did not have to torture herself.
As time passed, he felt like he was getting even closer to the girl.
But so did they.
Getting closer meant that he… got more reactive, when they tried to drag him away, and whenever she was taken. The screams he heard in his cell often kept him up, as he imagined the screams belonging to her. What were they doing to her? Where was she? Why couldn’t he see her more often?
The researchers always boasted about his immense power. But he didn’t feel like he could do anything special with it. He still felt powerless. And if he was powerless, how could he fulfill his promise of protection and freedom to her? So far, no progress had been made.
He clenched his fists, the cuffs binding his wrists clinking with the movement. The voices had told him the handcuffs were made to suppress his Evol. To prevent any more escape attempts. He sat in a new room, unable to use his powers at all.
It was just recently after another energy transfer session. The boy had hoped to use his Evol, now that he had a better grip on it, to escape with the girl, after discovering that the girl had the ability to amplify his powers. He had managed to do some damage, but not before they had restrained him once again, and now he was awaiting his punishment as he sat in a chair, a greasy light beaming down on him, with the researchers at his side.
“Is everything prepared?” This voice, while indistinguishable, was one that he had grown somewhat accustomed to hearing by now.
“Yes, Dr. Zhang. The Professor has arrived.”
“Why now?” another voice sighed. “He does not show his face often. To do a surprise inspection… do you think he’s discovered something?”
“I don’t think so. He seemed to only be merely curious about the boy and his progress. Perhaps he came because he had heard what happened last time.”
“This is why I don’t trust billionaires,” a bitter voice grumbled. “He only sees us, the bugs under his shoe, when it is convenient for him. If it wasn’t for the money, and the legal immunity, I wouldn’t be able to tolerate EVER. At least they understand the vision and the means to achieve it.”
“What is this I hear about billionaires?” a new voice said. In the next moment, the clack of a heel hit the ground, and the other voices were immediately silenced. The boy saw the shoes first. Shoes that shined a clean black and glistened in the light. Following up the shoes to the legs, and higher still, he saw a man. A man with gray streaks in his hair, but not yet a wrinkle in sight, and wearing a crisp suit underneath a white coat similar to that of those around him. His face was set in a hard expression, a glare and a frown. The boy thought the room dropped a few degrees in temperature when he arrived, and even the other researchers were shifting in their place, avoiding his gaze. He could see Dr. Zhang clasp her hands behind her back, squeezing her wrists tightly.
The boy tilted his head, watching the man before him. The only one who would meet his gaze straight on.
The man stopped when he noticed. The corners of his mouth slowly turned upward. But his eyes remained a glare. “Ah. So this is the boy. He has… quite the spunk.”
Dr. Zhang cleared her throat. “As you’ve read in our reports, the boy can sometimes have an emotional streak. Especially when he feels threatened.”
“And what, pray, does he feel threatened by?”
“He has grown attached to… the girl.”
The man raised an eyebrow. “Attached? That simply won’t do. My plan has no need for emotional attachment.”
“With all due respect, it is only understandable. After all, they were…”
The Professor waved a hand. “My expertise lies in machinery. The functions of a human body. EVER’s dreams lie beyond that, which is why you have the other research teams. The Lemurians. Those who have conquered time. The one who will herald the world to its end. Eventually, they all amount to the same purpose. But my purpose, Dr. Zhang, is creating a weapon. A weapon who will withstand the upcoming apocalypse, who will surpass death. That means they cannot feel threatened. That means they cannot have flaws. Emotions are flaws. You say his Evol is gravity manipulation. Has he even been able to warp gravity into a black hole yet?”
Dr. Zhang lowered her head. “No, Professor. But with time…”
“Time is not something in our favor,” the Professor said. He leisurely looked over his shoulder to the boy. “You’ll need to start performing other experiments. If you remove that attachment of his, he will no longer have anything holding him back. If he is defiant, you need to break him into obedience. Heighten his tolerance to pain. If he is truly worthy, his mind can take it all. But the perfect human we aim to achieve cannot be perfect if his mind is filled with other matters, if he cannot think only with logic. He needs to start thinking more competitively. I’ll only accept the best. If he is to be selected, then he needs to be the last one standing.”
“Perhaps consider some other options,” a voice spoke up, stepping up from the sea of researchers. “Who is to say he is the only one who can make it? 001 is—”
“What Dr. Yu means is that you shouldn’t completely discard 001 just yet. If you’d like to check on her as well, then—”
“No, I have no interest in something from space. While that is the original reason why EVER has sought you out, I already have explained my own purpose,” the Professor took a step forward, then another, his coat billowing behind him, until he was right in front of the boy. His hand reached out, like a giant claw, grasping the boy’s face. He turned it to the right, then to the left. The boy bit the inside of his cheek. “My interest lies within the human body, making a mortal immortal. He’ll become an even better version of her. The epitome of perfection. You’ve said so yourselves, that he is more likely to succeed than 001. And my family has no place for losers.”
The Professor leaned in, holding the boy’s gaze. “All those childish emotions you have held dear… you won’t need to worry about them any longer. Eventually, you won’t remember anything. You only need to focus on surviving. Don’t you hate being so helpless? We can make you powerful. You won’t need to be stuck here anymore. It is in your best interest to follow us. Forget about that useless girl. She can’t hold a candle to you. It would be a shame if she did somehow end up beating you instead, now wouldn’t it?”
Forget? The boy didn’t want to forget. He refused to forget. “I’d like to see you try.”
The Professor stared, then let out a laugh. He tapped the boy’s cheek. “Oh, but that spark in you is still admirable in some ways. Truly. I’ll let it slide sometimes. After all, I think of you as a potential son. Perhaps you can become my favorite.”
The man let go of his face and stood up, wiping his hands on his coat. “But don’t let it go too far. There are consequences for naughty children just the same.”
The man turned to leave. But he paused at the doorway. “You can start with his nerves. The brain controls everything. Snatch those away, and he becomes a more manipulable puppet.”
The door slammed shut behind him. The researchers all glanced at each other, then at the boy.
The boy felt like the walls were expanding around him, distancing him from everyone. Something gripped at his chest. Then his arms. His head began to ache.
"Evol Monitoring Experiment No. 742…”
His head. Why did it hurt so much? Why were the tubes connecting to his head now?
Kill them. Kill them all.
“002 is getting more dangerous. His Evol has started to reach unstable levels. It is getting risky to continue the experiments…”
***
His experiments became more intense, with an emphasis on his mind and durability, his raw strength. The boy’s “free time” between experiments also started to change. “Play” became a thing of the past. Knowledge. That is what they taught him, little by little. His time became more consumed by studying texts, practicing his fitness, fighting enemies, solving problems. What he discovered, though, was that he had an affinity towards mechanics and engineering, capable of building machines within seconds.
His knowledge and athleticism was constantly put to the test against the other peers. Within time, he earned the best scores, beating the others one by one. Only one person had been able to keep up with him until now, only one person had not yet been cast aside and still remained.
And that was her.
Was he perhaps a fool, in deluding himself that she remained because of her desire to stay by his side, even if subconsciously?
The boy had already learned that fragile things could not survive during one of his experiments. He barely remembered any of them now, but this one had stuck, more or less. He had been given an ugly baby bird, with a wrinkly face, barely able to fly. He had nursed it, or at least tried to, until…
“Hey, are you all right?” the girl touched his shoulder, ripping him away from his dark thoughts. They had been making model planes. Another competition, but the girl was treating it as more time with him instead. She never took the competitions seriously. The girl was also in one of her better moods, where she remembered him more than not. “You’ve been… more distant lately. It’s scaring me.”
He shook his head. It did not matter what had happened to the bird. If it didn’t survive, then it must have been weak. And if it was weak, then there was no reason to grow attached if it was going to die anyways.
The girl reminded him of the bird. Soft to touch, but weak, too innocent, in her own little bubble. He could try as hard as he could, to protect her, but eventually, she too would be destined for his destruction, his corruption. Staying with him would only drag her down with him, signing her doom along with his. Perhaps the only true way to protect her was to leave her, rather than causing more issues.
“You are not made to handle delicate things,” the voices had told him. “You are a danger to everything you touch. You should refrain from being near fragile objects for the time being.”
“If you wish to save her, then you need to make sure they don’t pay attention to her. You need to be the best, you need to be the most obedient, you need to shift everything to you. I’ll handle the rest to make sure she remains safe.”
Sometimes, the boy wondered if he was actually the trapped bird instead. The bird had wanted to fly, but was forced to give up on the dream when he had clipped its wings. Just like the bird, the boy wished to fly, but there was no room to fly within these white walls, trapping him in a gilded cage, the hell he had grown up in.
So he was selfish. Oh so selfish. For despite all of that, a part of him still clung onto hope, a small dot of light at the end of the dark tunnel, beckoning him forward, towards her. The hope that they could still be together, that they were made to be in this world together.
No, he wouldn’t let them win. She was the one thing they couldn’t take away from him. He would make sure he protected her. He could learn to be gentle, for her.
The boy spun the fans of his plane. Some screws laid scattered on the ground. Spare parts he did not need. He barely read the manual, as he had gotten skilled enough to build models without looking at any guides, being able to retain that much basic information. His favorite models were the planes. He took a liking to them. Planes could fly. They carried the pilot to wherever he wanted to go. And ever since he woke up, stuck in this place, the boy had longed to fly to freedom. Whenever he emptied his mind, he imagined himself flying through clouds. Not that he even ever knew what the outside world looked like. He could only go off of what he read from pictures. But it felt real to him all the same, as if he had already done it a thousand times before, in some other far off world.
The plane contained features that were replicated from a real build. As the boy pressed buttons, one button he pressed produced a high screech that made both children cover their ears.
“What was that?” the girl asked.
The boy bit his lip, his shoulders shaking. “I don’t know. But hey, it kinda sounds like you.”
The girl’s jaw dropped. The boy ignored it and pressed the button again. Then he picked up the manual, flipping through the pages. “They call it a pip-squeak. Maybe I should just call you that from now on.”
“What?” she screeched, finally catching up. “My voice doesn’t sound like that!”
“You sure? I think it’s pretty fitting,” he leaned in with a smirk on his face. “Pip-squeak.”
It had been bothering him. Ever since he first heard her speak, her voice had been so… tiny. So high. So helpless. There was a word for that, in the back of his mind, that he couldn’t quite place until now.
The name just… fit.
“You’re not calling me that. There has to be a better name,” she insisted.
“Well, I don’t know any better names,” the boy shrugged. “If you gave me your real name, I can just call you that instead. It’s been long enough. I should have something to address you by.”
“My real name?” the girl frowned. She then looked away, mumbling, “I… don’t have one.”
The boy still didn’t know much about this world. But he picked up enough by now to know that the tall figures who paraded around in white coats addressed each other with special words. These special words had also appeared in all the books he had read. He couldn’t recall any of the special words himself, but he knew that it was something that everyone must have had.
But they only ever called the girl “001,” and him “002.” Occasionally, he heard the voices call the girl “Unicorn” or “Little Bomb,” but those were not real names either. And it wasn’t a name he had given her. So it wasn’t worthy to be said by him.
“How can you not have a name?” the boy flicked her forehead.
“And do you have a name, then?” the girl shot back, covering the afflicted area.
The boy opened his mouth, only to close it back up. He knew he must have had a name. But why couldn’t he think of it…?
“We’ll make up our own names, then,” the boy pinched her cheek. “Maybe if you come up with one for me, since you clearly think you can do better, it’ll give me some inspiration.”
“I can do that!” the girl snapped, smacking his hand away, narrowing her eyes at him. Then the girl pondered, considering. “How about… Yizhou?”
“Yizhou?” the boy wrinkled his nose at the foreign word. “What’s that?”
“I heard it in passing,” the girl clicked her tongue at him. “Yizhou. It means summer, I think. And when I look at you, that’s how I imagine summer. Warm. Bright. Full of life.”
She sure had a funny way of describing things. The boy opened his mouth to disagree with her, but she was looking at him with these huge eyes, and suddenly, he couldn’t get the words out. He cleared his throat. “If… that’s what you want. But doesn’t that name sound too different from the others?”
The girl hummed. “Then… how about Caleb?”
The boy raised an eyebrow. “And what is that supposed to mean?”
The girl shrugged. “I just read it in a book. And I thought the character reminded me of you. Faithful and strong.”
The boy sighed. “Well, at least that’s a little better. We’ll use that, then. From now on, call me Caleb.”
As he spoke those words, his thread throbbed once more, and voices rang in his ears.
“Calming, encouraging, bright... Caleb.”
“Is that a code? It sounds like a name.”
“X-02. Caleb.”
“Can I use it as my name?”
“Caleb.”
Before he could even register it, the memory vanished once more.
“Okay, Caleb!” the girl smiled so large, and it felt like someone had punched him in the gut. That smile… he could look at it forever. “Now, you pick my name since I picked out two for you!”
Caleb blinked, then leaned away from her. “Why should I do that? Pip-squeak suits you just fine.”
“But! But! Pip-squeak isn’t a real name!” she gaped her mouth wide. “I take that back! You’re not faithful at all! You’re a traitor!”
Caleb stuck his tongue out at her. “Too late. You can’t take back a name once it’s already given.”
“Caleb! You dummy! What kind of rule is that?”
“If you want a better name, you’ll have to earn it,” Caleb grinned at her. “Pip-squeak.”
The girl huffed, crossing her arms. “And you were making fun of my naming sense. Yours isn’t any better.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Caleb whispered, stroking the wings of the airplane. “I put a lot of thought into your name as well.”
“Hating on my voice doesn’t sound very thoughtful to me.”
“But I don’t hate your voice,” Caleb shook his head. “Do you know what that signal is actually for?”
When she didn’t respond, he held the plane up and flicked on the noise again. “They call it a pip-squeak. You see, whenever fighter pilots got lost in World War II, they would use a radio navigation system to fix their position and locate other friendly pilots.”
To demonstrate, he tilted the plane off balance, flicked the noise back on once more, righted the plane, and aimed the plane at the girl. “The radio would release this noise to indicate to the pilot that someone was nearby. The pip-squeak guided him to their destination. So when lost, all he needs to do is to listen to the pip-squeak, and he’ll get back on the right path.”
The girl blinked at him. “I don’t understand what that has to do with me…”
He shook his head. “You can be so clueless… I don’t know if I should envy your obliviousness or not.”
He gave the plane to her. “Basically, you’re my destination. You’ll always be my destination. Whenever I want to go home, I just have to hear your voice, and I’ll navigate to you. I want to always be by your side. Doesn’t matter the method as long as I’m there. No one will stop me from reaching my destination.”
Her lips parted, and she clutched the plane close to her chest. Looking down, she said, “You really are a dummy.”
Perhaps he was, for foolishly hoping that they had a chance. That one day, they can be together, without all of this between them. If they could just fly away like this plane… could they finally escape and be happy?
Instead, all he did was reach out his hand to ruffle her hair. “You don’t have to get it. Just know you’re important to me. You’re all I have…”
Footsteps echoed again. They both tensed, and the girl clutched onto his hand tightly, energy pulsing between them. Even if she had lost her previous memories, her body and heart instinctively knew what was next.
The plane fell from her hands, crashing to the ground.
Once again, they were separated.
***
“Is it truly wise to separate them like this? 002 has proven to be able to stabilize 001 through proximity and resonance. But ever since we’ve been limiting their interactions, 001 has become unpredictable and unstable. I don’t know how much longer she can—”
“There’s nothing we can do if it’s on the Professor’s orders, Dr. Zhang. EVER is the only one who can fund us and keep our secrets. If we keep disobeying them, we’ll be in trouble.”
Dr. Zhang sighed. “I feel like the polar night is an omen. We don’t get those often, but suddenly we get one now… just as we’re conducting research on Deepspace and making headway…”
Caleb didn’t know how long it had been since the last time he saw the girl. His pip-squeak. One time, when he and the girl had been together, holding hands, practicing her resonance as they called it, both their Evols went haywire, and the researchers pulled them apart again. But Caleb had tried to fight harder this time, which is probably why they suddenly put him in a different room, one with no glass wall, and had him strapped down to a metal chair. They called it isolation, solitary confinement.
Shortly after, the researchers began mentioning a “polar night.”
“You also know the reverse is true. Our attempts to drive them apart seem to only just drive them closer, but we’ve been seeing some anomalies… while they may destroy themselves when apart, together they might as well be able to destroy the whole world.”
“The Professor will be here again for another inspection. Keep analyzing the polar night and Deepspace for any changes in energy. We must prepare for his arrival and continue to monitor the children. He cannot find out about 001, now more than ever.”
***
Caleb was falling, falling, falling. His world kept warping in and out. His memories were jumbled, and some of them he could not even recognize.
A world he was not familiar with. A planet on the edge of Deepspace.
One where he had wings, and his body was in constant pain. Sometimes he was a child, but other times, he was grown. And she was always in them, always with him.
A future where they could be together.
“Do promises made many years ago still need to be kept?”
“They must.”
-
“Promise me... that you'll never leave me again. Ever.”
“What if I break it?”
-
“Don't leave me…”
“I won't. I will never leave you again.”
-
“I... I always wanted to be in the same world as you…”
“Instead of just watching you... And imagining you…”
“I want to feel your warmth, your heartbeat… Everything... I want you to stay with me... Forever…”
-
“I will give you my fate, and your fate will become mine.”
Somewhere, on a planet at the edge of Deepspace, worlds merged together, and the universe ignited the flames that speared the endless cycle of rebirth.
Dog Days (a Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter Two: The Escape
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
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Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne's departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now's your chance.
WARNING: this fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don't stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive "siblings" catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
*****
Lights flickered above the grim situation, casting elongated shadows that spazzed all over the walls. Somewhere, a bulb had cracked, and glass shattered to the ground, shrouding them in darkness, signaling the end.
His screams had died right along with it. The only sound his burning throat was left capable of producing now was the clipped, sporadic gasps of air that escaped from him. Caleb lowered his head as his eyes stung, hiding the water that threatened to drip from the corners.
From underneath his downcast eyelashes, Caleb peered at the man and woman standing before him. Their conversation had turned down to hushed murmurings that Caleb could no longer make out again. They kept giving him concerned glances, their brows furrowed, but didn’t make any other move. He was still stuck in the goddamn chair—no amount of shaking had made him able to break free, only worsening the cuts and bruises that made up his skin.
Throwing a tantrum clearly did not work. But then again, it never did. Those things were considered childish, and therefore a flaw that he couldn’t afford to have.
He clenched his jaw, biting his tongue until he tasted copper. He learned rather early on that silence was often better than noise, and if calming down was the key to getting what he wanted, then he would do it. He could be perfectly calm. He could behave so well that they would have no choice but to give in to him. His nose twitched.
Caleb closed his eyes and breathed in deep, straightening his posture. There was only ever one thought that allowed him to let go of his anger. That kept him grounded.
Truth be told, Caleb could not remember why he was here, how he got here, when he got here. It was easier to forget. Forgetting kept the sorrow and pain away. An empty place in his rotting mind where he didn’t need to feel anything. And as each fleeting day passed, he didn’t even need to try. Before long, the days started to blur together, and everything felt too fast and distant for him to recall. It was all the same, so what need did he have for any attachments. He could only briefly grasp onto short glimpses in the present before they slipped through his fingers again like sand in an hourglass, and he was once more swallowed by darkness. A world where he knew no one and nothing. Life had become dull and meaningless. Confusing.
Besides, remembering was a fruitless endeavor he had long given up on accomplishing. Like a band tightening around his head, warning him from diving in too deep. He could not think past the pain. And Caleb oh so hated pain.
And yet… for some reason, amongst all the other unknowns and unfamiliars, it was so easy to remember her. Yes, her. The one they all called 001. Except, she wasn’t just a mere number. She was a young girl. The one that had always been with him since the very beginning. One moment, he had been floating in darkness, but the next, he was by her side, grasping onto her as they were pulled apart. The story of their birth, their creation.
And it happened again and again. 001 and 002 were always brought together only to be separated once more. The strange adults in white lab coats who kept lingering around them claimed that it was just another part of the experiments. Until eventually, he stopped seeing her completely. The so-called researchers had grown weary of their tantrums and thought best to lock him away.
Occasionally, the strange adults would mention 001. He desperately clung onto any information he could gather, storing it away, saving it for an opportunity. Those moments were the only moments worth remembering of his endless, isolated days. Not seeing, not knowing left him helpless… but knowing any scrap gave him hope, a reason to keep living. Forget everything else. Remember only her. That was the process that helped him survive this boring, wretched, white place instead of completely wasting away so far.
The ache in his chest sharpened. But this time, everything felt different. Things had been wrong before, but the adults had never been so… uneasy. After every experiment, they usually kept their expressions blank, taking notes, murmuring about what to do for the next experiment. They went about their days, with smiles on their faces, acting friendly with each other, treating the children as if they were their own. The contrast had always made Caleb’s stomach tighten, his skin grow cold. But “dread” was not an emotion they ever showed. For them to be so alarmed, something major had to have happened.
What if… he never got to see her again? What if this time, the separation became permanent, and they were able to kill her without bringing her back?
His world tilted on a sharp diagonal angle and the floor wobbled beneath him, threatening to fall away. She was his reason for existence. The only connection he had in this off world. The only thing he could remember among the fog. Without her, he had no answers, and he was lost to the confusion and the emptiness. She helped him think straight when the static in his head got too loud.
It didn’t matter if they saw her as a liability, as the source of their impending destruction. If she truly wanted to destroy the world, then he would gladly join her.
I will kill them all.
I won’t let anyone take her away from me.
She is my salvation, not theirs.
But Caleb couldn’t let his aggression roam free just yet. He wasn’t known for being delicate. He had been trained for the sole purpose of being violent. A living weapon. He knew that much. However, that was also the very reason why they had him locked away, why they kept them separated. If he was going to plot his escape, to find out what was going on, to reunite with her, he needed to seem amiable and more appealing.
And so, he would keep himself in check. He would prove that he was reliable, trustworthy. Even though every fiber of his being boiled and yearned to hurt everybody else, he would refrain. Because hurting them would eventually lead to hurting her, and he could never hurt her. He would bide his time, to get them on his side, to get her to take his hand. Everything would fall back into place as soon as they were together again, free from this place once and for all, with only each other to depend on for the rest of their days.
“Is… is he truly done?” a trembling voice sounded.
Caleb opened his eyes again to see the woman called Dr. Zhang kneeling down by the chair, looking up at him. The man addressed as Dr. Chen was currently pacing, looking between Dr. Zhang and the hallway.
“Are you feeling better?” Dr. Zhang whispered. Caleb blinked at her, then turned his head away. He didn’t have to answer her. But he nodded anyway.
“Josephine, we need to hurry. There isn’t much time left.”
Dr. Zhang rolled her eyes. “I have to unstrap him.”
“He better be on his best behavior,” Dr. Chen grumbled. “It wouldn’t do us any good if he destroyed the whole building before the monsters even got to us.”
Dr. Zhang glared at him. “You know, maybe that would actually be a good thing. It’s more than what we deserve. But don’t be ridiculous. You see how quiet he is now.”
Dr. Chen stared at Caleb. Caleb stared back, the corners of his lips twitching up before falling back into a straight flat line.
“I don’t trust it,” Dr. Chen shivered, rubbing his upper arms. “You know how he is.”
Dr. Zhang sighed. “Yes. But who’s fault is that, really?”
She then unstrapped Caleb from his chair and grabbed his hand. “Come, but you must promise not to do anything reckless.”
Caleb tilted his head. Why should he promise her anything? What had she done to deserve such promises from him? He owed her nothing. Still, he nodded his head once again. Dr. Zhang slowly smiled, as if that meaningless promise was enough to somehow ease all her worries and doubts about him. Then, she finally led him outside.
***
Caleb was greeted by bright, shining white light. He blinked a few times, adjusting to the heat searing into his eyes. It had been too long since he last wandered these endless tunnels, and his “special” room had been dimmed in comparison. He could feel someone nudge him along, but he had already forgotten who was by his side.
He was back in that floating space, where he was nothing and felt nothing. There was no sense of direction. Left couldn’t be told from right, down couldn’t be told from up. There was only the single current, and he was helpless against its pull, forced to follow the flow of the stream.
As he passed, the ringing filled his ears again. His body kept ricocheting against scattered rocks that emitted garbled, drowning cries. He could feel bile rise in the back of his throat, threatening to come up, as his head split open. Slamming into a wall, he keeled over as a rush of air left his lungs.
He felt something grab his elbow.
“You can’t stop here now,” a voice approached him. Then he was yanked again. A jolt of electricity shot through his arm.
After that, the voices got clearer.
“Philip, report. What exactly happened?”
“I… don’t know myself. We had been researching the polar night as usual, its connections to the rifts and energy pulses we have been experiencing from the Tunnel. If it was also connected to… their existence and what they are. Then suddenly… Little Bomb exploded again.”
“Let me guess,” the woman said, pinching the bridge of her nose. “The explosion caused the core to become unstable and spike abnormally, just like I said it would.”
The man shook his head. “A black hole suddenly ripped open right above us and took out the whole unit. We managed to get out unscathed. But as I’ve already said, monsters started appearing from the holes, nothing like I’ve ever seen. The whole city around us has gone into chaos. It’s… it’s all gone. And it all happened so quickly…”
“The boy has been acting strange as well. I noticed it when he used his Evol on the researchers. His nerves are shot and his power unstable. Whatever happened, is having an effect on the children.”
“Or… the children are the ones who caused this.”
The woman scoffed. “You don’t truly believe that nonsense, do you?”
“But we can’t rule it out.”
“I—”
Low roars sounded from far outside the building, cutting her off.
“Let’s just focus on getting out of here,” the man mumbled.
“Dimitri, that idiot,” the woman clicked her tongue. “I never liked him. I hope we make it in time.”
Suddenly, they emerged into a circular clearing, and it was easier for Caleb to catch his breath. Around them were several archways, leading into different sections of the research center. Each archway had some label next to them on the walls that Caleb couldn’t bother to read and understand. The only one he ever recognized and was allowed to enter was the one he had just come from, the one labeled “UNICORN.”
Caleb scanned the room, his gaze navigating the maze of heads. When he finally landed on a familiar figure, Caleb sucked in a breath.
There in the center of the clearing surrounded by the lab coats was the girl he had seen so many times and had come to know more than his own self. Her arm was lifted up and bent at a weird angle. His eyes followed the arm to the man holding it. He didn’t stand out too much in particular from the others, other than his eyes which bulged and vibrated. Caleb bared his teeth at the sight, his lip curling back into a snarl.
But one of the researchers had spotted Caleb. “Is it wise to bring him here?”
This accusation drew attention. The researchers glanced at each other.
“He is docile,” the man by his side spoke up, placing a hand on Caleb’s shoulder. He squeezed. Caleb immediately dropped his snarl, blinking up at them. “No need to worry.”
“More importantly, has the Professor been escorted to safety?” the woman asked, shifting the attention away.
“Yes,” the researcher said, still side-eying Caleb. “He has already left the building. I’m sure the Evol-modified vehicle will protect him from any threats. As it’s his own creation, after all.”
“Good news,” the woman nodded.
“Ha…haha…” the man from the center of the room shook his shoulders, then threw his head back as his laughter escalated into a burst. “Don’t you all see? We’ve been abandoned. Of course the Professor prepared for this very occasion. He already saw it coming. We were his pawns, sacrifices to be made for his great scheme. And we fell for it. He manipulated our greed and now we will all pay the price for it.”
“Dr. Yu…” the woman said carefully. “Perhaps you should unhand the girl.”
The girl was limp in his hold. It wasn’t clear if she was lucid. She looked so… weak. Had Caleb really wanted to risk everything for this girl?
Dr. Yu dangled her arm. “She’s the cause of it all. I’m going to be the one to set things right. None of this would have happened if we had just kept our curiosity to ourselves. If I do this, offer her up, maybe we’ll still be spared. We all knew this might happen—it’s why we created the fail safe in the first place, in the event that she used up all of her purpose.”
“We still don’t know for sure… it’s too soon to say…”
“Dr. Zhang,” Dr. Yu cut her off. “Don’t you understand? We’ve been played. All used! We started this research in an effort to find the world’s most desirable yet unattainable dream: the blueprint to immortality. EVER had approached Gaia with a message. They told us that soon, the world would end, but that there was a way to stop it, and only we could figure that out, with our special skills. If we figured it out, our safety and entry to the new world would be guaranteed. We just didn’t know the full extent of what was in store for us. But surely, you’ve guessed it by now.”
“EVER has known all along. All the different aspects of research they’ve assigned to us. It was their way of keeping an eye on the situation, of using our knowledge to aid their own salvation. They wanted to dirty their hands without having to dirty it themselves. They made us do the work for them so that they didn’t need to lift a single finger. Now they have all the information to proceed while we’re the last ones left. Our attempts to outsmart them only backfired on us. Monsters. That’s what their plan was. Our secrets and sins only sped up our own demise. We are witnessing history! I’m sure the Professor is cackling in glee now. Don’t you think it’s convenient how he arrived here right on time? Because he knew. He got what he wanted. And now we’ll all die in his place. But if we kill her, kill her and erase all evidence, we can still maybe… yes, this is the way! It’s our last option! Our only option to redeem ourselves!”
Purple and blue lightning flashed from outside the large glass windows surrounding the circle, cementing his words, highlighting the sneer on his face. Kill her, kill her, kill her.
“No!” Caleb lurched forward, only to be yanked back by Dr. Chen. Dr. Chen subtly shook his head and put a finger to his lips. But Caleb didn’t want to wait. They were discussing her death.
“If you move again, you’ll be cuffed, and you won’t be able to do anything,” Dr. Chen warned. Caleb paused, then glanced up, seeing some of the researchers throwing cold glances his way. He closed his eyes and took quick deep breaths.
“You slimy bastard,” Dr. Zhang snapped. “Out of all of us, you were the one who desired immortality and fame the most. Now you’re casting aside the one that would’ve helped you achieve that to save yourself?”
“I’m only saying what we’re all thinking!” Dr. Yu hissed. “001 is to blame!”
“How about a vote?” Dr. Chen called out. The researchers looked at him. He shrugged. “We voted on how to proceed with the experiments. It’s only right.”
Dr. Yu laughed again. “Very well. But as if it even needs to be called to question. We all already know the answer.”
Dr. Zhang narrowed her eyes. “We’ll see about that.”
“All in favor of getting rid of the rotten source of our problems?” Dr. Yu shouted, raising his hand held up high. A sea of hands followed suit. Caleb’s stomach dropped, and his body tilted, swayed back and forth.
“All in favor of… protecting the creature that started it all.”
Only Dr. Chen and Dr. Zhang raised their hands beside him.
So it was decided.
Something inside Caleb was… breaking. Whatever… thing… that had been inside him, aching to escape, finally released. A loud holler erupted from his throat, and suddenly everything near him was being flung about him. The ground beneath him shook.
“I thought you said he was ‘docile’! Stop that thing!”
Thing. Anomaly. Subject. Creature. Freak. Weapon. Masterpiece. It.
They had never once been treated as human beings.
Hands suddenly grabbed out to him, pulling him under. He tried yanking free, but he had already exhausted all energy, and became easily subdued. The next thing he knew, his hands snapped behind his back, bound by the damn cuffs that blocked his Evol.
Careless. Stupid. He allowed the shock to bring down his guard and get easily overcome. If he had been less emotional, more obedient, he could’ve gotten to her by now. As consequence, his plan had failed. His only chance, lost.
Your emotions are your biggest flaw, the words curled around him like a snake gradually suffocating the life out of him, preparing for its next meal. You’ll only find yourself hindered by them. This is why you’ll never reach your full potential.
“Let me go!” Caleb screamed at them, even though he knew they wouldn’t listen to him. They never did.
“002, calm yourself!” a voice hissed in his ear. A womanly voice. Who was it again? Why did it seem so familiar? It was always so hard to remember. He didn’t care to remember. Nothing mattered. They were all conspiring against him.
“Aren’t you going to stop him? He’s going to kill her!” Caleb collapsed to his knees, the throbbing in his head and arms reaching a peak once more as dark spots slowly danced along the edges of his vision. Dammit. He couldn’t pass out now. When he opened his mouth again, such an ugly noise escaped from it. Why couldn’t he breathe? Each gasp of air was suddenly so painful. He choked it down and tried once more. “Haven’t you done enough already? I know you don’t care what happens to us, but what about your research? If she dies now, she won’t come back this time!”
The woman turned her head away from him. “There’s nothing I can do if the majority has voted.”
“Liar,” Caleb spat. “You always choose to do nothing. You’re a bunch of hypocrites. I won’t ever forgive you for this! You hear me?”
He knew his forgiveness didn’t mean much to them, anyway. It was all a futile attempt, one last desperate attempt, to save her. He hated that he was so… helpless. He hated that he was of so little importance, that everyone else ignored him. She was the only one who had cared, and now she was going to be gone. Gone for good.
The ugly noise escaped from him again.
Dr. Yu continued to drag the girl. Perhaps, because of all the commotion, the girl finally opened her eyes. She blinked slowly, her gaze taking everything in around her. When she saw the tube-like chamber at the end of the room, the chamber that was getting ever-so close to her, her eyes widened, and she began to frantically pull on the man’s arm.
“Where… where are you taking me? No, I don’t want to go there!”
“Be quiet!” Dr. Yu yelled at her. “This is the punishment you deserve for all the trouble you’ve caused us!”
Tears began to streak down her face. She screamed and kicked at the man, but still, he did not stop.
Caleb tried to move towards her again, but it felt like there was a barrier between them, something holding him back from reaching her. As if sensing him, her eyes suddenly clashed with his. And that was the last thing she saw before she was thrown into the chamber. Her glass coffin.
The girl banged on the glass. “S-someone! Help me! I… I can’t…”
Slowly, eventually, her tiny fists ceased to pound on the glass. She leaned back on the glass, slouching downwards. Her head lolled to the side.
It wasn’t until the girl’s eyes slowly drooped close, her body growing still, that he realized what the ugly noise he had been making was—he was sobbing.
His eyes widened in horror. What… what have they done?
“Now. Take him—”
Caleb never got to hear Dr. Yu finish his sentence. Caleb’s ears were ringing once more. The ringing reached a crescendo, blasting his ears, and suddenly all noise faded away, rendering him completely deaf. The world around him suddenly became so, so slow…
Then everything became dark.
***
What… happened?
Caleb slowly opened his eyes. But the ringing didn’t go away. He stretched his arms. The movement gave him pause. Why was he able to move? Hadn’t he been bound?
A gust of wind was hitting his face, blowing at his clothes. He frowned. Even stranger. There shouldn’t be any wind.
Clutching his head, he blinked away the last of the bleariness and looked around him.
Nothing was left of the white and pristine corridor.
Fire licked at his skin. Debris was everywhere. There was so much smoke and dust in the air, that he couldn’t see anyone or anything else around him. He could feel something looming above him, flying overhead, circling him.
He coughed.
“What a mess.”
A deep voice broke through the cloud, interrupting his fit. A pair of sleek black loafers stepped into Caleb’s field of vision.
Who…?
“W-who are you?” Dr. Yu shouted. He tried to scramble back up, but fell back down, coughing.
Heels crunched on gravel. The pair of loafers belonged to a tall silhouette, which glanced down at the man. Then clicked its tongue. “Tsk… how pathetic. Not even worth my time.”
Kicking Dr. Yu aside, the silhouette proceeded forward, towards the glass chamber. The only structure that remained standing.
Caleb looked at Dr. Yu, writhing in the dirt. The silhouette had made it look so… simple. The very man he wanted to destroy himself. The very man who had ruined his entire world in a single moment. The very man he couldn’t succeed in stopping.
The silhouette stared down the chamber. “Well, this wasn’t how I was expecting our reunion to go. I had been longing for a more proper face-off. After all, the least you could’ve done is repay me for all those lonely years. Instead you give me an unfair fight. What am I supposed to do now?”
The silhouette paused, as if waiting for a response. When it didn’t receive any, it sighed, slowly raising its arm up, pointing at the chamber. There was something in its hand.
“W-wait…” Caleb stretched his hand out, still recovering from the blast, unable to move. Everything around him was happening in slow motion, out of his control yet again.
A loud bang pierced through the night. Glass surrounded them, littering the ground, breaking the coffin free. The silhouette lowered their hand.
“Wait, please… stop… don’t…”
Caleb managed to grasp onto their pant sleeve. The silhouette finally turned to him, and Caleb caught the sight of silver and crimson glistening in the moonlight.
The silhouette, a man, smirked at him. He leisurely pulled out a gold coin from his pocket, his blood red eyes shining. “Let’s make a bet.”
He tossed the coin high into the air. “Will you be able to catch up to us, little one?”
He swiped the coin back with his hand, then just like that, he vanished. As if he were never there. A red and black mist emerged from the place where the man had been standing moments ago, trailing around the room and curling around the broken chamber, then evaporating. Caleb’s hand fell away to nothing.
No trace of the girl remained. She was gone.
And he had no idea where they went.
He had been… abandoned.
A loud crack rang in the sky, snapping him back to reality. A reality without her. A reality where he failed to protect her.
A cold sensation dropped onto his fallen hand. For a second, he thought he was crying again. But then the cold sensation became a repetitive tap, spreading throughout his whole body, and he finally brought himself to look up at what he believed must’ve been the sky. Thousands of water droplets pelted down on him, drowning out any wretched noises he would have otherwise made, blending in with any tears he may have shed. A perfect harmony.
He trembled. The thunder claps wracking his body. He… didn’t want to look away. He wanted to etch everything into his memory. For once, he didn’t want to forget. He never felt more cold or bleak in his life until now. The absolute picture of misery. His fingers slowly curled into his palms, clenching into fists.
Pip…squeak…
But then the world suddenly turned sideways, and his vision went black as he sank into darkness once more, finally giving into the pain.
####
I hope this chapter is as good as the first. I am still a little unsure about some parts, but did not want to take several months to revise again.
Footnote: I took some creative liberties in this chapter. I know originally, according to Sealed in Dust, MC is supposed to disappear after the explosion in the Observation Unit. However, if you’ve played the game, then you might already know that they somewhat changed the Observation Unit part to this scene (although I might plan on incorporating that still somehow, to explain the contradiction). Also, according to the Timelock story, Sylus leaves immediately after shattering the glass chamber, rather than actually escape with her. With the Sylus part, I just thought it would be better for the scene if he actively helped her escape instead. It leaves Caleb behind, and besides, MC is too vulnerable here and still a prone child to escape (successfully) on her own. So yes, some things don’t match canon here, but I’m keeping it as is because I think this, at least, makes more sense and is cooler for my fic.
Dog Days (a Caleb x MC x Zayne Love and Deepspace Backstory Fanfic) - Chapter One: The Lab
Link to AO3 or Wattpad
Next Chapter
Masterlist and Blurb
Brief Description: This is a childhood backstory featuring Zayne, Caleb, and MC from Love and Deepspace. It will cover the lab to Zayne’s departure. If you ever wanted to see Zayne and Caleb fight over MC as children, now’s your chance.
WARNING: this fic was written at a time before canon was fully fleshed out and is largely based on my own interpretation of events before any major reveals— as such, some events in this fic may not align with canon in the future (but rest assured I always make sure the characters stay in character regardless and don’t stray too far from the original plot). Read at your own risk.
This fic will eventually lead into a larger fic that covers the main story of the game and explores the relationships more.
Don’t expect quick updates from me. I’m a very busy person and a very slow writer. I don’t like to rush chapters— I prefer quality over quantity. I’ll try to at least keep to a chapter once a month. There may be occasions where I write chapters more frequently or less frequently depending on any slumps or inspiration hits.
TWs/CWs: It follows canon events, so beware of child experimentation, Professor Lucius, PTSD, amnesia, sociopathic behavior, astraphobia, poly (MMF), no smut only romantic attraction (for now), angst, hurt/comfort, separation, separation anxiety, dysfunctional family, adoptive “siblings” catching feelings, apocalypse, oppressive government, evil corporation, hospitals, terminal illness, child death, other causalities, violence, slow burn.
This fic mainly centers around the boys' feelings towards MC, but there is still a subtle romantic tension forming between the boys as well as they aim for her affections. MC is the ground keeping them all together and no one is less equal in the relationship.
Constructive feedback (particularly on characters, pacing, plot, and accuracy) is appreciated.
****
In this world, the characters use both Chinese and English names. This is especially prominent in business/professional settings because of the dominant English language market (yay imperialism and assimilation), but in this world, the general public also begins to take to this custom for the sake of “global unity” during crisis as a result of the Catastrophe. English serves as the common language. This is especially encouraged in schools and among children to build connections and in case of emergency. I wanted to use English for familiarity among the English audience but also still use Chinese to keep it authentic.
#####
Tick… tick… tick… tick…
White padded walls enclosed and curled around Caleb. Although there was no clock visible in the small and barren room void of color, the distant sounds were always thrumming beneath the walls, as if mocking him. The ringing in his ears steadily grew louder, his temple throbbing.
The wall had become unfocused before him, nothing but endless white fuzz. He couldn’t recall how long he’d been staring, or how long he had even been here. At some point, his arms had tensed and were now turning a sickening gray with dark streaks of blue snaking inside the flesh but protruding in a way that suggested they were aching to escape the surface. And maybe one day they would be successful, with all the tiny holes that littered his arm. His muscles twitched, softly jerking the nylon confines that had him strapped to the metal chair.
They always did this during an experiment. To keep him “contained.”
A series of electronic beeps suddenly echoed throughout the isolated room, disrupting the metronomic rhythm. The wall behind him creaked and rumbled as four distinct lines stretched across the padding and formed into a glowing rectangle. The new section pushed forward, separating from the wall, then slid aside.
The door revealed a woman with black hair streaked gray and a round face with faint lines appearing around her eyes and mouth. She donned a white lab coat and in her hands held a clipboard. She looked up from whatever notes she had been taking to address the boy. “It happened again. Her condition is getting unstable.”
Caleb always had a difficult time making things out. Faces, noises, objects… nothing was distinguishable for Caleb to place any meaning behind them. The whole world was just made of incessant black and white tiny swirls that vibrated so much they hurt his eyes, with strange garbled murmuring that made his head pound and skin crawl. It was a worse, visceral pain than the needles they often pierced into his arms. Even now, he had a hard time recognizing who had entered and what was said. He wanted to retreat back to the emptiness of his mind as his veins throbbed and his skin ached, like the damn snakes inside of him were about to tear out of his hide at last.
Then… everything stopped. Caleb blinked a few times when the word “her” reached his ears, like a tickle. The only word that could be distinguished from the distorted storm, the only word worth hearing. The rest followed as his brain finally caught up and struggled to make proper sense of the world around him. The thrumming and prickling faded away to silence as color blinded his eyes and suddenly it was so much easier to see, the fuzz fading away into sharp geometric lines. He sucked in a quiet gulp of air, like a boy allowing himself to breathe after he had just been drowning in water, but now breached the surface and was saved. His ears strained to pick up anything else, afraid he would miss a single detail as he sat there immobile.
The woman stared, as if waiting for something more, then clicked her tongue at his silence. Lowering her clipboard, she stepped into the room. The door slid shut behind her, once again blending in with the wall, as if it were never there but a figment of the imagination. She approached Caleb’s side, slightly lowering her height to look at the boy. “I’m trying my best to get them to stop the experiments. I’m worried if this continues… there’ll be nothing left of her.”
Caleb could barely glimpse at her from the corner of his eye, not that he could even begin to figure out who this woman was beyond the vague sense that he must have seen her before, just like this. Once he had processed her words, his hands slowly curled into fists, his nails digging into his skin and drawing small specks of blood.
The woman stared pointedly at his hands. She glanced at a corner of the room where a small camera was stationed, its red light blinking silently at them. With a soft sigh, she looked away from the camera and took a step closer to the young boy, just a tiny inch. Her fingers slowly unfurled to reach out to him. Before she could even graze his shoulder, multiple pairs of heavy footsteps sounded from outside and stopped right where the door had just been. Hearing the same beeps and clicks that had announced her own entrance, the woman quickly retrieved her hand and spun around just as a small parade of people dressed similar to her crossed the threshold, with a single man leading them.
The woman bowed. “Professor.”
The door closed yet again, sealing them all inside. The small room suddenly became cramped. Not just because there were too many bodies, but because the new man carried an aura that felt larger than life. They were all dressed the same, but somehow this man’s posture was straighter than all the rest, and while no one here exactly carried any warmth, the chill behind the man’s eyes was enough to make even the others slightly tremble in his presence.
Caleb’s heart started to bang ruthlessly against his chest. He could feel the noise and aches come back, trying to drown him once more. A drop of blood stained the white pristine floor. He stared it down, clinging onto the reminder. Focus.
The man took notice of the woman, his mouth set in a firm frown and his eyebrows furrowed.
But it was a different man who spoke up. “Dr. Zhang? What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be—”
The one next to him nudged his side, glaring at him.
Before the woman now known as Dr. Zhang could respond to the accusation, the head of the parade waved his hand in dismissal, halting the crowd. “No matter. Since you’re here, how’s 002?”
Dr. Zhang let out a slow breath and straightened her posture. Glancing at Caleb, she kept her head low as she gave the report. “He isn’t responsive.”
The Professor glanced at Caleb, tutting. “Children are so… delicate. That’s always the risk with experimenting on them.”
Dr. Zhang clutched the clipboard to her chest. “Yes, I agree.”
“But the data is invaluable,” the Professor continued. “Their brain reactions help us understand how to develop human bodies. The perfect human. That is what I strive to achieve. Even if some find that impossible for now.”
He looked right at Dr. Zhang. She swallowed. “I’m sure those people will change their minds once they see it with their own eyes.”
Slowly, the Professor smiled. “As a fellow researcher, I know you can empathize.”
The Professor turned his gaze back to Caleb, a frown marring his face once more. “So, can someone explain to me why 002 is strapped down?”
A third researcher cleared their throat. “Well, surely you’ve read our reports. He is extremely volatile. He’s been getting more compliant lately, but we can never be too careful with him. It’s just a precaution.”
“Hm,” the Professor rubbed his chin. “Oh, yes. Something to do with 001. Their creation caused them to be attached at the hip. I suppose that kind of loyalty can be considered admirable. I believe it’s the very quality that makes a true, solid family.”
The Professor lowered his hand and approached Caleb.
“Sir—” the researcher called out.
“But,” the Professor interrupted, “that attachment can also be detrimental if it’s to the wrong person. A weakness. Which is why it’s important to cultivate these attachments to root out the weeds. After all, how can someone rise to their full potential above others if someone more liable is holding them back?”
The Professor caressed Caleb’s arm. Caleb couldn’t resist the shudder that wrecked his whole body at the touch. While he couldn’t recall this man any better than any of the others, he was all too familiar with this violated feeling of disgust that had been etched into his muscle memory. Hold it in.
If the Professor had even felt the shudder under his fingers, he ignored it. He rounded the chair to look Caleb in the eyes. Caleb gritted his teeth as he forced himself to look back.
“I’m going to help you, 002. I’m not sure if you recall, but we’ve already met once before. For the longest time, I’ve been fascinated with the human body and have yearned to replicate the perfect human for the perfect family to help nudge society along. That’s what I do. It’s my life’s work. That’s why you’re here. I want you to be at the forefront of my family. The progenitor that will beckon others to join us. My greatest masterpiece. You won’t need 001, because you’ll have much stronger siblings that can properly compete with you on equal ground instead. Aren’t you tired of constantly being held back by that childish desire of yours? You don’t deserve it. I can set you free.”
The Professor slid his hand down Caleb’s arm to the strap holding it down. He gently tugged on the strap, then unlatched the mechanic that made the strap snap away and into the depths of the chair. He lifted Caleb’s free hand, flexing it and rubbing the wrist which had become bruised from the constant friction, then proceeded to do the same with the other straps. “I have been told 001 can’t withstand the experiments. She won’t have longer to live. It would be best to dispose of her soon and forget about her if she can’t produce any useful results. Someone like that won’t have a place in my family. It’s a pity though… if only they were able to find something, her body could’ve been just as—”
He didn’t finish his sentence. For by then, all the straps had been released, and Caleb was no longer shackled. One second, the Professor had been kneeling before him. The next, the Professor had been flung to the wall. The wall that should’ve been impenetrable, but crumbled so easily from the force of the hit.
It took a moment for everyone else to react.
“Professor!”
“Someone help him!”
“Restrain 002!”
The room was suddenly a large clamor. Caleb tilted his head and slapped his ear twice. When a couple of researchers approached him, they froze in place before their arms could grasp at him. Caleb stared them all down. The air around them increased in pressure, compressing, squeezing their skin. They crumpled to the floor, their limbs writhing, like a pile of worms. Under the harsh weight of Caleb’s gaze, tiny creaks and pops erupted from the bodies. Screams ensued.
“Oh god,” Dr. Zhang covered her mouth as she watched the scene before her. Somehow, she remained the only one unaffected. She whipped her gaze to Caleb, his own eyes shining. She swore she saw the corner of his lips turn up, as if tempted to smile.
Just a little more. A little more, and they will all—
“Stop it!” Dr. Zhang yelled. “You think that would solve anything?”
Caleb paused, cocking his head at Dr. Zhang. She released a shaky breath. “You’d only be making things worse. Please, calm down.”
Caleb narrowed his eyes. Despite only being a child, he was more like a predator watching his prey. Dr. Zhang closed her eyes and turned her head away.
But then, instead of the bloodbath she had been expecting, the air loosened and relaxed, and it was much easier to breathe. She whipped her head back around and saw the researchers groaning in pain, but otherwise no longer immobile and able to move.
Her eyes met Caleb’s again. He looked at her in silence.
Before anyone else could, Dr. Zhang scrambled forward and hurriedly strapped Caleb back to the chair.
When she was done, she whispered, “Thank you.”
Caleb stared at the straps and looked away. A lump formed in her throat. “I’m sorry.”
As the other researchers began to slowly recover, Dr. Zhang backed away. Two researchers came to the Professor’s side and helped him up from the rubble.
Dr. Zhang frowned. The hallway outside was empty. Even though hardly anyone ventured down this corridor, knowing who lied behind these walls, someone should have surely heard all the commotion. What if—
“My apologies. It seems I underestimated you. Perhaps I shouldn’t have brought 001 one up so soon. After all, she is still dear to you,” the Professor brushed off the debris from his coat. He looked at the other researchers. “Although it is strange that someone who appears to be so broken can still have so much spirit. Curious indeed. That’s the mental prowess I’m interested in.”
“No,” Caleb finally spoke up. The Professor stiffened. He slowly turned to face Caleb. “I just found it annoying… all this talk about 001. Isn’t she useless? So why even bother bringing her up? I have no interest in something like that. Broken toys are less fun to play with.”
It felt like he was talking around sand in his mouth. A competition. That’s how they always made it seem. A competition of the strongest. A competition that he had no interest in, but was groomed into accepting until it warped his mind. So he dug into that small part of himself, fed into it, just enough to fool them all, to make them believe they were winning.
Dr. Zhang’s eyes widened at his words. The Professor laughed, walking up to Caleb and slapping a hand on his shoulder. It looked friendly, but Caleb didn’t miss the tight squeeze. “I really do envy that brain of yours. See? Foolish desires result in consequences. Those emotions would only get in the way. In time, I’ll train you properly on the matter. Once I finish refining the prototype, you’ll be as good as new. I look forward to the day we become family. Maybe you’ll even grow to calling me ‘Father.’”
Caleb somehow doubted that. He glared at the Professor. In response, the Professor squeezed his shoulder again and leaned forward. “So always remember that. You’re not compatible. Only the strong can survive. The weak get hurt. We wouldn’t want you getting caught up in that, now would we?”
The Professor pulled back with a smile, but his eyes remained cold. “Let’s get back on track.”
Suddenly, a researcher came rushing through the hallway. He was rather sluggish, out of breath, most likely from his declining age.
“Dr. Chen?” Dr. Zhang furrowed her brows. While she had been expecting someone to come down eventually, she hadn’t been expecting him.
“Josephine! I—” the man paused, finally looking around and seeing the rubble and crowd of researchers. His face turned red. “Pardon the interruption. I forgot that the inspection was happening—”
“Speak,” the Professor spat, glaring at the man.
“Right,” Dr. Chen straightened. “No one fully knows what’s going on, but there seems to have been an explosion in the Observation Unit. Monsters just started to suddenly appear from the sky and are attacking—”
“Monsters?” the Professor’s expression changed. His eyes glimmered as he demanded. “What do they look like?”
“I-I don’t know,” Dr. Chen stumbled over his words. “It’s not like anything I’ve ever seen. If I had to describe it, they’re like creatures shaped from encased crystals.”
“Wanderers,” the Professor whispered. He shook his head. “So, what’s the situation like?”
“Everyone’s in a panic. No casualties here yet, but it seems to have spread and is affecting other cities.”
A surge of murmurs erupted.
“Monsters? Attacks? Casualties? How did this all start?” one researcher demanded. “It doesn’t seem real.”
“Sounds like the start of an alien invasion.”
“No wonder why the hallways seemed too quiet.” So, Dr. Zhang wasn’t the only one to pick up on that.
“But how did we not hear anything? It must’ve happened around the time 002 went berserk.”
“Do you think it has anything to do with—”
“Watch what you say,” someone hissed.
The Professor tilted his head. He looked at Caleb. Then at the researchers. “With?”
The researchers glanced at each other as silence descended upon the room.
“Nothing,” the researcher bit out.
“Instead of that, what about you?” the other researcher said. “I think you know more than you’re letting on about this situation. We did all these experiments, under your orders and supervision. But you rarely ever showed your face here. Doesn’t this feel convenient? EVER funded us to help with their projects but they never specified what those projects were. Was this all part of your plan? Messing with entities we don’t understand—”
BANG!
The rest of the bold researcher’s words were drowned out by a deafening crash that rattled the whole room, if not the whole building structure. A guttural roar echoed from somewhere in the distance outside.
A brief quiet, then filled by various cries. Reality had set in.
“P-Professor!” the researcher who had tried to keep the peace earlier exclaimed. “We should get you to safety. Please forgive what that one said. The panic is just getting to our heads.”
“Very well,” the Professor said, brushing it off as the researcher began to escort him away from the room. A few security guards who had accompanied Dr. Chen also rushed to his aid. “Now isn’t the time to hold grudges. Although… I sincerely hope that’s all there is to it. I wouldn’t be pleased if something were being… purposefully withheld from me.”
His footsteps faded as he walked further away. The last clack of his heel ringing like a death sentence.
“You idiot!” a researcher yelled at the one who had spoken up once the Professor was fully gone. “We’re all dead if he finds out! Haven’t you heard of what EVER does to people who they discard…?”
“I only said what we’ve all been thinking!” he yelled back. “It’s the reason why we didn’t tell him about 001’s real ability in the first place!”
“Philip,” Dr. Zhang cut in, drawing attention back to the newcomer. “Why are you really here?”
Dr. Chen hesitated. “It’s… Dr. Yu. He’s snapped. He thinks she’s the reason for it all. So, he’s…”
Caleb had been watching on silently, but now the ringing had returned to his ears, along with the restlessness under his skin, rendering him unable to hear the next words. His head and heart pounded, pounded, pounded. He could feel it. He was going to explode. Or split open. The energy around him was pulsating. Was he doing that? Or something else? Both? The world was already starting to fall apart. The walls around him seemed to expand, creating a vast emptiness, where only he remained, freefalling, like a tiny droplet of water falling into the vast ocean, causing ripples but alone in the world where no one else could hear.
“What?” Dr. Zhang gasped.
The researchers started to move, shoving and pushing.
“Out of my way!”
“I don’t want to stay here a second longer if we’re all going to die!”
“Maybe Dr. Yu’s onto something… all this started because we messed with something we shouldn’t have!”
“Those children are freaks! They brought the monsters to us!”
As they all rushed out of the room, only Dr. Chen and Dr. Zhang remained.
“Is this… how it ends?” Dr. Zhang murmured. “Maybe it’s for the best…”
“Do you really believe that?” Dr. Chen looked her in the eye. “I’ve seen the footage. You sneak in here a lot. There’s no audio, but I can tell you’ve grown a soft spot for both of them.”
“And you haven’t?” Dr. Zhang whispered. Dr. Chen looked away.
“You could’ve gotten in trouble if anyone else saw that,” he said instead. “You’re lucky you have me to cover you.”
Another roar sounded from the distance. Now that everyone had been made aware, they had all become too conscious of the rising chaos.
The pain within Caleb had reached its final crescendo. The last current events happened so suddenly that he couldn’t grasp the situation. There were too many people and too many conversations to keep up with. All he knew was that something had gone very, very wrong.
He started to struggle in his straps, the nylon biting into his skin. His whole body was now on fire.
“What’s happening? Why did everyone leave? Are… are you going to hurt her again? I won’t let you! Let me go! Get me out of here! I’ll kill you all!” Caleb shouted.
Dr. Zhang bit her lip as she looked at Caleb, who had begun to rock the chair back and forth with all of his strength.
Dr. Chen shook his head. “I’d advise against it.”
“We can’t just leave him…”
“Stubborn,” Dr. Chen said. “Hell would break loose.”
Hello! Welcome to my writing blog account! I’m so excited to join the writing community here!
I plan on changing the name of this account once I figure out a more suitable pen name but for now you can call me “Outcast” or “Crazy” (my usual usernames), “Annabel” (my real name), “Caye” (my middle name), or “Author” (what my readers mostly just refer to me as). You can also call me any variation of those names if that’s easier for you (people often like to abbreviate or shorten my names, or use honorifics of whatever language they are fluent in). If there is anything else you’d like to call me for whatever reason, I’ll most likely be okay with it, and it might even help me get ideas for my pen name, so really you can call me just whatever you wish or feel like calling me (obviously within reason though). And for your further information, I use she/her pronouns and identify as cis-female.
I know many writers use Tumblr to post their fics. Since I’ve been busy and burned out and unable to write and post as much I would like on Wattpad or AO3, I decided to make a Tumblr to share my WIPs to my readers so they can keep better track of the books and fics they have been anticipating for, and maybe I’ll even attract new readers from Tumblr and get to expand my reader base in the process. Overall though, I intend to make this a fun space for my works and readers! I plan to share information on characters, lore, random drabbles, scene snippets, even full chapters as I write them, and much more… Of course, you’ll get to see me ramble and rant about my ordinary life on occasion as well, since this is a blog after all. It’s basically going to be how I would have set up a Patreon if I had one, except without the paid membership.
For my newcomers, I write a bit of everything! But I’ve mainly been focusing on romance and various fanfics these past couple years, and that is what I will be mainly posting on here for now. You’ll probably notice that a good amount of my works feature power couples and some form of enemies to lovers. My books can get really dark but I have books that are lighter than others as well.
I initially was going to make an introduction of sorts to celebrate me creating a Tumblr account but I couldn’t decide if that was necessary. In the end I decided to just get the most important things I wanted to say out of the way instead of giving random trivial facts about me. I might give a better introduction about myself later when I get more followers or as people ask about me (perhaps a QnA?). Though you just might gradually find out about me as time goes on.
