You didn't, thankfully. He was planning on gifting you a simple necklace he found, had a small locket on it with engravings and a picture of you both for your 2 year anniversary.
Phoenix: "Oh shit my new shoes came in??"
Of course he had bought another pair of expensive shoes for his collection, the usual.
Sage: "oh my order of tea :) I got some shipped from china, would you like some?"
She let you taste some of the tea she had ordered in, spending the afternoon in her living quarters, relaxing and chatting over the cup of tea
Sova: "Oh just some charged arrowheads for my shock arrows. You didn't touch them, did you?"
By the time he had a reply you had already opened the box and got relatively well electrocuted after touching one of the arrowheads. When he came back he just sighed, shook his head but bandaged your hand.
Viper: "poison."
It was not actually poison but the answer alone was enough to get you to not touch that box.
Cypher: "oh a new chess set, made of wood and entirely hand carved. Would you be interested in playing later?"
Of course you said yes, and the new chess pieces were quite nice. You could understand why he wanted to acquire these.
Reyna: "don't you dare open it."
The lack of detail made you curious and you couldn't help looking inside. When you saw the contents of the box, far from PG-13, you had to sit yourself down for a moment. And of course she walked in a bit after, and seeing your red face she already knew you checked. "Well now you know what's about to happen."
Killjoy: "my alarm bot. It's in time out."
You don't really understand why, curiosity getting the better of you and opening the box. You discovered pretty fast after the alarm bot was practically attacking you.
Breach: "probably a gun, molly or fusion cells."
And you were more stunned about 'molly' being an option in all of that. Turns out it was only fusion cells.
Omen: "yarn. I ordered more."
You took care of unpacking it for him and putting it in his designated basket for yarn. He was quite grateful, being able to just sit down and knit without worrying about the unpacking part.
Jett: "uhhhhhhhhhhhhh idk"
So you take it upon yourself to open the box, revealing a very suspicious looking pack. After opening it you could see it was white powder and it immediately alerted you. After a bit of back and forth texts, turns out she just ordered a bag of MSG, a spice for her food (I don't know if it's actually a spice or not so don't quote me)
Raze: "UH EITHER BOMBS OR SPRAY PAINT."
Out of curiosity you open the box. And curiosity killed the cat as you end up in med bay. From now on her boxes are going to get labeled properly.
Skye: "oh just a few wooden sculptures I stashed away. I was supposed to sort them."
You had fun looking through all the different sculptures she had made, laying them out on the desk. You sorted them by species, hoping that would give her a little bit of a hand.
Yoru: "drugs."
It was not drugs; and you learned that the hard way after Brimstone immediately searched the room after getting told there was potentially drugs. It was actually just a couple sweet snacks ordered in from Japan that he didn't want you getting into-and instead of getting himself in trouble.
Astra: "my drawing supplies!"
You did look through it briefly, finding nothing really interesting other than a copious amount of markers and pencils.
Kay/o: "why are you in my maintenance room."
It is true that killjoy is the only one who's supposed to be in that room to begin with; being the one who usually does the maintenance on kay/o
Chamber: "you will know tonight."
... I don't feel like I have to explain this one. But for those who don't understand: no walking for the next day.
Neon: "OH I FORGOT TO HIDE IT! IT'S FOR YOU THO 💙"
She had put together a little gift basket, like the one seen on tik Tok for Valentine's Day; chocolates, a plushie, a blankets, favorite drink, new tumbler and a handwritten card with an invitation to a restaurant dinner.
Fade: "kitty toys. Can you unpack them for nightmare?"
She had splurge it a little bit for her cat, and there was various toys, treats and a new little hammock for the kitty.
Harbor: "Ah! That must be the helmet I ordered for you so we can go on motorcycle rides together 😄"
He had gotten you a slightly more expensive helmet than what he usually got himself, one that had a bit of a fancy design on it and the mirror visor to look a little more mysterious.
Gekko: "OH IT FINALLY CAME IN??? I GOT WINGMAN A LITTLE SUIT."
Inside the box was a small suit that looked like it was tailored for an infant, which would make sense because trying to explain to a custom clothing maker that it was supposed to be for a radiant critter would probably confuse them. But seeing wingman in a suit was absolutely adorable.
Deadlock: "sound sensors, be careful."
The notification sound on your phone set them off, resulting in you getting stunned almost back to back a couple of times.
Iso: "snacks."
Indeed the box was full of snacks, but one in particular caught your attention. You took it out, and it was one of those bead candies that you usually wear on the necklace or a bracelet, just a different shape. It was packaged in a clear bag with no labeling and you opened it just to check what it was supposed to be. After unpacking it and seeing your face went red. Seems Iso already decided on desert for the night.
Clove: "rocks :D"
It was their entire rock collection, all nicely sorted in the box. You added one of your own in there for them.
Vyse: "Schrödinger's cat"
It was indeed not a cat, just a few various equipments that she needed for experiments she was working on. But for the joke you did leave a Post-It note with a cat drawing on it, purposely drawing it dead.
Tejo: "why are you looking through my stuff? 🤨"
Turns out he had just ordered another pair of shades, adding yet one more pair to his collection. But you did decide to mess around and borrow one of his pairs to wear around.
Waylay: "A glass suncatcher."
The glass suncatcher reflected the same way that her powers did with the light. It was honestly pretty and you hung it for her in the best spot on the window, so when she walked in it would be shimmering already for her.
valomemes 5. these ones are a little bit low quality unfortunately, made these while conked out on an overseas trip. this will be the last compilation post and then i’ll start posting a bunch of agent specific ones and then go back to the compilation posts
