#vampiressmpkin

[fictionkinfessions]

Legundo,

I…have thought more you. I am human here and it is not so bad, although I am still a vampire in headspace. Perhaps you were right.

I miss you.

-Owen (Vampires SMP)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Seeing people saying my survival would be a "bad end" is incredibly funny. I'm the worst person? Really? You think so? Thank you!

In all seriousness, it's incredibly hurtful seeing people saying that I abused the all others that I turned. I won't exactly say that I didn't manipulate them, I manipulated everyone. But I was enjoying having others around me for once.

I had someone who had always been friendly to me, who I did consider a close friend and I trust her. I had someone who was incredibly loyal, helpful, and felt like a son. Pyro and Shelby were, and still are, really important to me. Whether or not I showed it to them, ehhh... This isn't a ploy for pity, just letting some things out that have built up.

Scott [vampires smp fict]

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[fictionkinfessions]

I find having so many doubles who are experiencing the same things as I am to be very... grounding, in a way.

I am an Owen fictive from Vampires SMP. Yes, I have memories of Legundo. Yes, he and I were very close within my memories. Yes, there's not a single day where I don't mourn what we had.

But at the same time. Watching my other selves experience this same hardship makes me feel a lot less angry. A lot less resentful.

Perhaps this is tied to how my source seems to want others to feel the same pain as he has. Maybe I am subconsciously the same way.

But feeling content with others' anguish reminds me of how I was continuously called a monster by so many. And then I'm angry again, because of course I am.

-- Owen 🦇, of 🌙💊

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[fictionkinfessions]

I don't think I'm upset about being turned, actually

I have forever to prove my dad right, now! And I don't have to worry about my new friends dying on me, because we're basically immortal! And they chose to be my friends for eternity! I've never had that before! And there's so many books I can read!

I don't think I'd mind what kind of "monster" I am as long as I have community that actually cares about me and supports me!

Shelby! (Vampires SMP) #🟦⏳

(ps. Scott needs to relax about the whole "Pyro overstepped" thing because I don't care and really I think my opinion is the only one that matters when it comes to my humanity/lack thereof. But he's also stubborn and doesn't listen to Owen and I)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Hey Shelby,

For whatever its worth, I think I might genuinely have liked being human with you.

And I want you to know, I wish I could've given you a bit more choice like I did Apo. (and I'm also still sour about Pyro turning you, he did overstep with you, and I'd like to apologize on his behalf for that. For what it's worth, I tend to prefer to turn people personally.)

You were always a great roomie though, never forget that!

🖤 Scott (vampires smp) #🟦⏳

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[fictionkinfessions]

I love listening to songs that reminds me of Avid. I miss him. Anyways, I think Love Like You worls very well for AviScott (the ship of me(/kin) and Avid.) I mean, it even says "I could even learn to love." literally me. I could even learn to love again for you Avid. And I did.

~ #😺✨️ Scott Goldsmith (Vampire SMP)

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[fictionkinfessions]

The body will be turning 20 on January 19th.

I remember, in my source memories, I never had a birthday. Not one that I could remember.

I know that the day I became a vampire, I was 25. Because I counted the many years since my parents had told me my age.

Louis never celebrated his, either, and I don't blame him, considering how long he's been around as a vampire before he died.

But now I wish we did celebrate, at least something. Even just New Years to make up for the years we've lost to time.

I have a friend now, in this world. A fictive of Louis. Just as I am a fictive of Owen.

We're going to be celebrating each others birthdays this year, as his is only a month after mine. In a way, it brings me relief I never thought I would experience before.

It's unfamiliar to me. But that just means I am all the more grateful for his presence in my life.

Thank you, Louis, for everything you have done for me. Even if you are not the Louis I remember, you are still a dear friend of mine that I cherish beyond measure.

Your friend,

Owen. Vampires SMP.

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[fictionkinfessions]

Canon trinkets:

Do my clothes count? I want my fancy clothes back, specifically the one with that really high collar, but all I own are... cat shirts? What is this?? Whatever man

~ Scott Goldsmith [Vampire SMP] #😺✨️

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