this got out of control long so it’s also on ao3 here!
There was something poetic, Robert decided, about his life ending in the same place it had begun: on Emmerdale Farm. If this was how his story went, he couldn’t fault the universe for having managed to bring it full circle – he wasn’t sure if whoever was going to write his obituary would appreciate how wonderfully grandiose it all was, but he hoped they would. Maybe he could have a headstone like his father’s, the wording edited to reflect the kind of man Robert was – an okay man, at rest in the good earth.
Rest sounded nice. He was so, so tired.
“Robert – Rob, you need to stay with me,” a slap to his cheek roused Robert from his dreamy state. Robert blinked, confused, Aaron’s face mere inches from his own. “There you are,” Aaron had been crying, that much was obvious, his eyes red-rimmed, tears pouring down his cheeks. It’s not like Robert liked seeing Aaron cry, but there was a part of him that appreciated the reminder that Aaron did still care about him.
“Here I am,” Robert strained with the effort of speaking. “Why – why are you still here?”
Aaron gave him a wild-eyed look. “Why – are you serious, Robert? I’m trying to save your life, here,” he gestured, his hoodie pressed against the gaping wound in Robert’s side, the black material soaked heavy with blood. Robert was not enjoying having been stabbed, he’d tell you that much.
“He’s going to come back,” Robert glanced toward the barn door. “Aaron, you have to go – you have to save yourself.”
Aaron’s wedding ring was stained red with blood, a reminder of the reason they were here – John. “I’m not leaving here without you,” he shook his head, Robert not able to stop the gasp of pain he let out as Aaron pressed a little harder, on the wound. “I’m sorry,” he gave Robert a sympathetic look. “I need to try and stop the bleeding, Rob – I know I’m hurting you. I’m sorry.”
Robert shook his head. “Aaron - I’m serious. You need to go. He’s going to come back – and he’s got a knife, and God knows what else,” he gasped, taking a shuddering breath in. He didn’t need to be a doctor to know there wasn’t much chance of him making it out of this situation alive. There was a part of him that was furious, that this would be how it ended – that he’d just begun to get his life on track, after six years of hell in prison, and his psycho half brother was the one who put an end to it all on his behalf.
Another part of him knew he didn’t have much more energy left to fight it.
“I can’t leave you here – I can’t, so don’t fucking ask me to, Robert,” Aaron shook his head, focus on trying to stem the blood pouring from Robert’s side.
“Aaron.”
“Don’t ask me to leave you here,” Aaron repeated, his tone furious. “Don’t you dare.”
“Aaron,” Robert repeated, reaching for Aaron with a shaky hand, cupping his cheek. “I love you, you know.”
Aaron leaned into the touch, tears rolling off his chin, dripping down onto his t-shirt. “Then why are you saying it like you’re saying goodbye to me?”
“You and I both know my nine lives had to ruin out, one of these days,” Robert tried to crack a smile, at his own joke. “Aaron. You changed my life – you changed me. I’m so grateful for that. I don’t think I’ve told you that, enough.”
“Robert, please don’t do this.”
“We had fun, didn’t we?” Robert couldn’t help but reminisce. “I know it wasn’t always good, but we had fun. We had some good times.”
“The best times,” Aaron corrected, his voice determined. Robert had always loved that about him – how stubborn he was.
“You’re good. You’re so good, Aaron,” Robert loved this man more than life itself, and in the short time he had left actually breathing, he wanted to tell him that – he just wasn’t sure of the words he could use to accurately explain it. How could he find the words to describe how deep the love he felt for Aaron went, how it was part of his very soul? “I’m sorry, for all the ways I’ve hurt you.”
“None of that matters now, eh? We’re okay – we’re going to get out of here, and we’re going to be happy, me and you,” Aaron sounded desperate. He looked down at his own hands, ripping his wedding ring off and throwing it across the barn with such force that Robert swore it made a dent in the wall. “It was always me and you, Robert – just me and you. So – stop being daft and let me figure out a way to get you out of here.”
“Aaron, ‘m not going to make it – you and I both know that,” Robert was crying now himself. It hurt, and he was tired, and he didn’t want to go.
“I don’t want you to go,” Aaron practically sobbed. “I’ve only just gotten you back – and I’ve wasted so much time, pretending I didn’t want you, when it’s all I’ve ever wanted. You can’t – you can’t leave me, Robert, I won’t survive it this time.”
“You will,” Robert wanted to reach out, and wipe away all of Aaron’s tears, but he didn’t really have the strength to do it. “You’ve survived worse.”
Aaron shook his head. “Losing you was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, Robert.”
“You – you have to promise me, that you’re not going to give up, when I’m gone,” Robert tried his best to sound forceful. “If you hurt yourself because of me, I’ll come back and – I’ll come back and fucking haunt you, actually.”
Aaron snorted. “Always fancied having a ghost for a husband.”
“I’m serious. You have to – you have to promise me you’ll be okay,” Robert coughed, and he could taste the copper of his own blood in his mouth. He couldn’t have much time left. “I love you. I love you, Aaron.”
“I’m not saying it back – I’ll tell you, when we’re in hospital, and you’re too busy charming all of the nurses to listen to me.”
“Aaron – baby – please,” Robert wasn’t above begging. “I want to hear it. One last time.”
Aaron’s hands stilled, where they were trying to stop the bleeding. He wiped his hands off his grubby work trousers, an attempt to get rid of the blood before he cupped Robert’s cheek in his hands. “I love you,” he said, and the words felt like music to Robert’s dying ears. “I love you, Robert Sugden-Dingle. You are the love of my life – you always have been, and you always will be. Okay?”
“Who’d have thought it would have taken me dying for you to out yourself as a secret romantic?” Robert tried to joke, earning himself an eyeroll from Aaron.
“What can I say? You bring out the best in me,” Aaron paused, for a second, before pressing a kiss to Robert’s chapped, bloody lips. It was still one of the very best kisses he’d ever had. “I love you.”
Before Robert could reply, the man of the hour spoke up, clearly having made his grand return. “Isn’t this all so very romantic?” John’s tone was snarky. “A deathbed love confession. They could write a movie, about you two – pity it’s going to have a sad ending, though.”
“Just – let us go, John,” Aaron was going with negotiation, it seemed, which was an admirable tactic, but not going to work, Robert knew – John was too far gone. “Let me call an ambulance. He’s dying.”
John shrugged. “Good. He’ll finally stop bothering us, when he’s gone – and then you and I, we can be happy, Aaron. Just you and me, against the world, eh?”
If Robert’s last memory was of Aaron lunging at his brother, more rage in his face than he’d ever seen in his life before, he was going to die a happy man. It was terribly hot.
.
The beeping was what roused Robert, the sound grating on his already incredibly sore head. He’d definitely gotten a concussion, when John had wacked him, then. Or maybe he was dead – and this was some sort of perverse heaven where he’d still ended up in a ghostly Hotten General, and if he opened his eyes, Jack Sugden would be sitting by his bedside, ready to berate him for dying too young, or something –
“Robert?”
Victoria. Thank God. He couldn’t be dead.
Unless –
“Robert, thank God you’re awake,” Victoria was teary-eyed, her dark hair scraped back off her face, the dark circles under her eyes a perfect match. She looked exhausted.
“’M – what happened?”
“John – he tried to kill you,” Victoria swallowed a sob. “I’m so sorry – I should have listened to you, when you tried to warn me, about him.”
Robert didn’t really care. He’d have time to say ‘I told you so’ later. “Aaron?”
Victoria directed his gaze with a gentle hand, Aaron fast asleep, curled up in one of the uncomfortable hospital chairs, wearing a jumper that Robert recognised as one of his own, his hand inches from Robert’s on the hospital bed. He looked okay – he was okay.
“How – how did I get here?”
“Aaron fought John off,” Victoria sounded genuinely proud, and Robert would definitely share the sentiment when he was on considerably less morphine. “He got out onto the main road, and flagged a car down – raised the alarm, got you both out of there.”
Robert couldn’t help but grin, despite it all. That was his Aaron.
“Go back to sleep,” Victoria encouraged, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “We can talk more later.”
Sleep sounded nice.
And maybe – maybe when he woke up, Robert might use his second (fifth?) chance to be more of a good man, than an okay man.
VIC I WILL GIVE YOU VALIDATION EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK BECAUSE YOU ARE FAAVE
1. First impression:holy fuck her fic is like the best thing I’ve ever come across I need this person and their writing in my life for forever
2. Truth is: I fckin love you. like literally I have a major secret crush which I’m struggling to keep on the downlow ;)
3. How old do you look: like 25, u bootiful4. Have you ever made me laugh:ALWAYS
5. Have you ever made me mad: yes, when I see a new fic on my dash and I think FUCK here she is again to bring me feelings (but never stop it gives me life)
6. Best feature:ur fic. ur face. ur opinions. ur everythin.
7. Have I ever had a crush on you:uuuuh…. no….. never…..
8. You’re my:FAVE
9. Name in my phone:I don’t have ya number10. Should you post this too? yes ofc why not
lorna please write the cain/liam fuck. it’s what the world and chas deserve
vic. please. don’t encourage me because i am slightly hungover and bored in the office and i can’t think of a better way to entertain myself than writing a cain/liam affair starting in that allotment as a way of liam thanking cain for all those prostates he checked
lorna, i would love to know what the fuck you’re going to do when 911 comes back. are you considering writing robron fic with one hand and buddie with the other? how will you cope?
do all the buddie fans following you think you’ve had a mental break and started hallucinating men from yorkshire?
just a few of my ponderings from today
see i have genuinely got no idea of how i might possibly cope because at least there’s no 911 for months now. but emmerdale never stops airing. my brain doesn’t have enough SPACE for this
i do wonder what the buddie blogs think though. did anyone (except @thisissirius) know i had a previous life as a feral emmerdale blog. did i even realise how absolutely batshit i would go when we got robert back? i don’t think even i was prepared for the levels of insanity i would reach because i never thought it would happen djdj
beautifulhigh kept going this year, even when it hurt. and i know she’s proud of herself but i’m proud of her too 💜
YES!!! I saw her post yesterday and damn, can you believe she did all that running and regained her creativity in spite of everything? Honestly. She deserves your pride and everything else.
@beautifulhigh
(NGL, @vckaarrob , you deserve a bit of pride in yourself too. You got through this hell year too! You managed real life and motherhood and you gave us tons of amazing fic recs and a Bullet update and that soulmate fic. We stan.)
