If TikTok is doing that thing about why Conservative men prefer Liberal women and will go out of their way to lie about their politics to date them I have my own thoughts
1) it’s about winning, especially when actual trickery is involved (this has been discussed at length but Veblen goes into the ways men, assumed Conservative, assumed Western have “predatory instincts” they like to show off by bending reality to their will in “Theory of the Leisure Class” since this gives them more credibility in the eyes of other men from the same backgrounds)
2) related to number 1 and equally as discussed (if not more so) caged bird theory but I’m circling back around to this later
3) the hypocrisy of getting women who have no gendered expectations of them, while they still have gendered expectations for women, is part of the appeal. It’s part of the “winning”/“caged bird” thing and it’s not brought up enough. They feel entitled to having better lives while ruining women’s lives which brings to
4) I have seen this discussed but didn’t like how it’s said: they think women, as a gender, should be bleeding hearts. They should be liberal, they should be selfless. They don’t want women to actually absorb their religious hypocrisy, because that upsets the gender hierarchy they believe in. Boys’ Club, only.
Which brings to 5) expanding caged bird theory: they feel entitled. They feel entitled to whatever women they want (how dare women have boundaries that might keep them from them!) they feel entitled to Liberal women’s education (generally better) they feel entitled to Liberal women’s resources. Think about it. A more educated woman who works out of a textbook instead of the Bible has, in most circumstances, better educational, financial, and employment opportunities. They want her money (and whatever else she has). They don’t see themselves as any different from the men of yore, who owned all their wife’s stuff. Plus, as a richer and more developed person, she makes his himself (for his peers) and his household (for capitalism/society) look better and more refined. As Veblen would (and did) say, she makes a better “ornament”. Same conversation that happened in “Pride and Prejudice” about accomplished women. Men want women with accomplishments, as society allows them to claim them as their own. That gives them more opportunities than women who claim their husbands’ accomplishments. Vicarious consumption vs vicarious leisure, respectively (although I very much doubt Veblen foresaw this exact scenario). “Theory of the Leisure Class” is still relevant. Conservative men think they are entitled to having the greater disposable income they’d get from marrying a woman who pays for herself.
