Jax as a trans character is probably some of the most impactful shit a character can have on me.
Do I like Jax? Not really. Do I think she’s an asshole? yes. Am I transgender women? no. But good fucking god I’m sobbing just thinking about her story and how much I relate to it. (In some senses)
I am transgender (Genderqueer) and gender expression has been a prevalent issue since i’ve learned i exist. I know there was a time where I was happy to be a girl and like girly things, but I was teased, mocked and bullied for it. I was labeled as ‘too emotional’ and ‘too sensitive’, for having feelings but also just for being a girl. So to combat these issues I completely indulged into the tomboy life. I hated dresses, I never wanted makeup, I despised the color pink, and I hated my old “too girly” interests and shoved them down as far away as humanly possible. This not only made me deeply insecure but it also locked away a part of my identity that I only now am teaching myself to enjoy. I’ve known for a while that i was transgender but no label felt right because of the need I felt to hide the embarrassing parts of myself. Only with the people who have surrounded me and helped me experiment and find who I am that I now KNOW who I am. I’m still not perfect, i’m still relearning what I used to be. I paint my nails sloppily, I don’t know how to apply like any of the makeup I own, I’m finally letting my mom do my hair, i’m trying out dresses. I’m not completely feminine but I’m learning what I enjoy. What parts I like feminine, what parts I like masculine, what parts I like none, both, and so on so forth. I’m no where near what I want to be but it’s a hell of a lot better then when I would show aggression towards the simple idea of me appearing feminine.
My experience as a transgender person doesn’t perfectly align with Jax’s story but the parts that do resonate with me so deeply i’m crying while writing this. I know what it’s like to push yourself so deeply into an archetype to the point where you lose yourself in the process. I know what it’s like to hide away any real emotions to keep people from hurting you. I know what it’s like to hate feminine clothes because it gives people an idea of you that you hate. I know what it’s like to feel vulnerable in who you are fundamentally as a person. Jax is one of the best written transgender characters i’ve seen written in media. She shows real displays of trans struggles and the consequences transphobia can have on people besides “ohhh transphobia makes me sad :(“. It’s unrealistic to think that all transgender people who are surrounded by heavy transphobia will turn out as sweet little angels who can do no wrong. This doesn’t justify her actions but it shows that transphobia has real fucking effects and if we as a society don’t learn to except trans people we’re gonna have a lot more jaxes in our world, and that’s NOT a good thing.
Jax being a transgender woman makes sense and makes her some of the best rep i’ve seen in a while. Being transgender is messy, gross, difficult, and fucking unpleasant. Showing those bad sides is way more impactful than slapping a transgender label on any passing character. We see the struggles of a pre transition person which is a part ignored by a lot of other trans characters. It helps show people struggling with similar issues that they’re not alone, but also that going down the path of Jax will alone lead to a horrible fate. Jax is a messy character, and still an asshole through and through, but I still will agree that she is lovey. And every trans person going through similar things is wonderful.
