#venty post

[kaesaaurelia]

sure, I probably won't have a job by the end of this week, but I might have a polished and ready-to-post spaceship sex scene. and isn't that what's important?

(no. money and health insurance are important and also last time I was unemployed for any length of time my brain ate itself in anxiety. but I'm trying to look on the bright side here.)

[zebulontheplanet]

Over the past few months, I’ve been slowly accepting that I’m not a “typical AFAB” or “AFAB” at all. I remember being put on birth control at 15 in hopes that itd give me more “feminine characteristics” and being told this. I remember being 13,14,15,16, and looking in the mirror and not seeing a girl. Not because I was transgender, which I am. but because I had a deep voice. But because I didn’t have tits. But because I was hairy and grew facial hair like my male peers who were going through puberty around the same time. I remember the irregular periods that made no sense.

I remember being bullied for having more “masculine characteristics”. I remember being mistaken for a boy. I remember all of that. I remember being put on birth control patch last year and getting “feminine characteristics”. I remember getting tits. I remember going through “female puberty” at 20 years old instead of “normal girls” who went through it at 13 or so. I remember gaining 30 pounds on birth control instead of being very skinny. It was all way different from the puberty I went through at 13 where my voice dropped, I got more hair, I grew broader shoulders, I got skinnier etc etc.

And then, I remember going to the doctor a few months ago for ovarian cysts. I remember her telling me I’m very hairy. I remember asking her if me being on birth control would affect hormone testing. I remember her saying no. I remember getting those tests back and being disappointed when they came back that my hormones were normal and didn’t explain the years of bullying, confusion, everything. I remember her then messaging me, confirming that my birth control indeed probably affected my test results, and to “just keep taking it cause it was working” with no follow-up care or diagnosis.

I remember feeling so heartbroken. But then slowly, that sadness turned into anger. Anger for the years I lost of no answers and the years I am losing with no answers. Then relief. Relief for finding people that understood me. Relief for finding people who went through and are going through similar things as me. Relief that I found a name for what I’m going through, and relief for accepting that name.

I’m not “AFAB”. I’m intersex. I had “male characteristics”. I was raised as a girl, but never presented as a girl during puberty unless I wore makeup and had long hair. I’m intersex. And this sadly is the life for many intersex people who find out later in life, and I hope that will change overtime, and I find answers and so do people like me.

[faggotette]

non-transfeminised people listen to transfems people about the oppression that primarily targets us challenge impossible

[darkxwolf17]

kids on pinterest keep comparing my art to the art style of a known groomer's. yeah that makes me feel really good. keep it up /sarcasm

[for-the-love-of-avo]

I wish I could still do spooktober but im ✨️bedridden✨️ with health issues and dont have the energy. I can only sketch on my phone this is Hel 😫😫😫🫠

[icecreamsocialanxiety]

Awww look at Inspekta! Oh? What does he have to say? Lets listen closer...

....this started as a regular in character thing but he was gonna vent anyway so i just made him say stuff i'm stewing about. inspekta, rearrange that creep's molecules orz

[watereddownstrawberrysmoothie]

How I feel after waking up to my gf breaking up w me, my friend’s cat being put down, and the most annoying motherfucker ever begging me to make him a GACHA character.🫩

ohmfg I have a state test tomorrow too. I’m actually gonna jump dude whaaaaat the fuck

Time to crank sombr ig??

Someone lobotomize me plz

[mercurial-tboy]

Ngl the dysphoria is dysphoring today lads 😭