#vfidiots

[vfidiots]

Okay first of all - VFI aint dead just yet!!! Changes to the page made “random walkins” extremely rare but every now and then I still get messages. Most of them go “hi”. *sigh*

Also first of all and in all seriousnes I hope this is not a legit suicidal person rambling to a stranger. Something tells me it aint but you never know.

Either way... what? So there’s a girl and a girlfriend and then there’s a him and then there is the sender, boy, that seems wild.

[vfidiots]

Of course you have, sillybutt. Because I am 70% sure that “Clarks” is back! The phrasing, using of emojis, ‘realy’ and the fact that again the profile features all-square pictures of a way too handsome fella… Some ig model type is missing his pictures... All seems very familiar.

[vfidiots]

Oh hey, it’s this guy again.

[vfidiots]

What? Wait.... WHAT? Ok so out of the blue I received this. I swear I haven't had contact with this person before. Let's try to understand it. "More than pritty then u are lol why status why don't you come to pa fight me I'm married ur not lol status why don't you text message me say it my phone number lol if u got a problem with this message haha probably be pretty the u lol" "More than pritty then you are lol" probably means that she's prettier than me. I shall not comment on that due to my good manners. I am clueless on the "why status" bit. "Why don't you come to pa fight me" now THAT I do understand, but why would I want to travel to the US to get beaten up by a woman who could CLEARLY and probably literally eat me for breakfast? "I'm married ur not lol" well congrats honey. I bet he's a prince. Another "status" that confuses me. "Why don't you text message me say it my phone number lol" ..."say it my phone number "... Eh? Also, no thanks. "if u got a problem with this message haha" welp I'm having quite a hard time trying to understand it but something tells me that's not what she means. "Probably be pretty the u lol" surely is meant to once more drive home the self-esteem smashing message that she is way more beautiful than I am... Guys... PLEASE PLEASE tell me you get these incredibly fucking weird messages too.

[vfidiots]

Oh hey, it’s biohazard guy again!

[vfidiots]

Begging for a feature on here!

B E G G I N G ! ! !

[vfidiots]

.....uhmmmmmmm.... soo...

I am VERY seldomly dumbfounded.

But here I am, lurking in front of my computer and this pops up and I’m like “wait is the first thing this person is telling me fellatio-related?”

So BOOM I screencap this and before I can come here to upload it, this remarkable specimen upped the game and sent me yet another inbox with a gif of said sexual act (with the girl wearing tidy whiteys, awww!). So just out of fucking curiosity, I do something I usually never do: I check out the profile. THE DUDE IS FREAKING 16 YEARS OLD ACCORDING TO IT!

WHAT THE HECK! He should be playing GTA V and drinking his first beer for fucks sake!!! O______O

Edit: As these masters of coping with rejection usualls do, his MASTERFUL EVIL REVENGE PLAN was for him to tell me to “go fuck myself”. Welp darling I’d rather do that than have a 16yearold go down on me and go to prison for the rest of my life. :)

Edit 2: For shits and giggles I will add that his screen name had the word “romance” in it.

This is not how any of this works, boo.

[vfidiots]

Hello there. This is your automatic copy&paste message correcting service. The message you were trying to send is this: "Hey love, how are you? I'm [...] from Sweden, 19 years old. You are so hot and pretty. 10 for you."

You are welcome, please use our services again. Yours truly, the mcs team.

P.S.: This service only corrects the grammar and spelling of the given input. For help with style and phrasing, please refer to your local schools. For help on how to pick up women on the internet, please refer to your local specialists.