vibrational set point x self care
including beauty (skincare, makeup, hygiene), bare minimum, rest + recovery
75/100 Grief + Anxiety - comes from the acknowledgement that i need to take care of myself (at the very least wash my face and brush my teeth every morning and evening) but there is a lot of anxiety (lack of assurance) building up to it and then the impending regret when i don't.
rooted in the sacral chakra. exploring the lower levels of this creative energy. where i am finding fear in expressing myself.
stagnation of growth rooted in the discomfort of the root chakra. it is unfamiliar, therefore unnecessary.
the goal is to find/develop the motivation to blow past this stagnation with discipline
125 Desire - to have a more concrete / expansive routine with my self-care. like the level i know Sahlt and Lori Harvey are on.
still in the sacral chakra. on the borderline of willpower.
there is a lot of emotion i am unpacking regarding those two woman. on one hand, it is very easy for a girl like me to become envious over their lifestyle. they are both two beautiful young women, who appear to have grown up in a secure household where their strength in their self esteem and femininity was supported and even encouraged. Far from the home i lived in.
So what do i want from my self-care? | I imagine as a teenager i would have wanted a supportive and encouraging foundation for my appearance first and foremost. the awareness and understanding that as a woman, beauty is my greatest asset and i can give myself all the permission i need to focus on myself so i can look and feel nice. even as I think back on those years (the townhouse is quite vivid) i can only imagine my mom and stepfather being unsupportive and condescending towards my femininity. their first priority was my domestication; if i cant keep the home clean (2+ hours in the kitchen + not being able to have stuff) then there was no point in me focusing on any other part of myself. THIS WAS THE CONDITIONING of my adolescence. instead of being taught how to give my all to myself, i was programmed to believe i didn't matter, what mattered was ... tbh i don't even want to conceptualize what it was besides the fact that i didn't deserve to give that attention to myself. *and this is where i stopped b/c i started getting very emotional*
WORKSHOP (things to do to solidify my growth)
what is the story you keep telling yourself?
what is the vision you want for yourself?
c. affirmations for balancing my root chakra allowing me to feel comfortable investing time and luxury into myself.
what kind of self-care am i used to? do i feel i deserve?
